Incorrect Red Velvet!

Documenting the definitely real things the girls of RV say on the daily *I don’t own ANY of the quotes unless otherwise specified* SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN <3 my main blog is @material—bitch

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Wendy: What’s for dinner?

Joy: Updog.

Yeri: [dabs]

Joy: No, not yet. Wait until she asks what it is.

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Joy: Do ladies love stupid women? Or do they love women who don't exhaust every opportunity to feel smart?

Seulgi: I used to think melancholy was a vegetable.

Joy: Incredible. Let's hang out more.

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Irene: I’m so glad that Wendy feels comfortable enough to sleep with us around.

Seulgi: She looks so peaceful...

Yeri, getting out a black marker: And vulnerable.

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Yeri: When applying for college I was hesitant about spending the mandatory application fee. This made me realize I'm unprepared to adult and would rather be a cat.

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Seulgi: I TOLD IRENE I'D COOK DINNER FOR HER BUT I CAN'T COOK HELP.

Yeri, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Irene: Hey Wendy, are you like, seeing anybody?

Wendy, blushing: No, why?

Irene: I don’t know, I just think it’d help if you saw a therapist or something.

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Joy: I would kill for you, unnie.

Wendy: Oh. Well, that’s not necessary...

Joy: Oh that’s relief because I would do it, but it would weigh on me.

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[at applebees]

Waiter: What'll it be?

Seulgi: I'll have the apple!

Yeri [through gritted teeth]: I guess I'll have the bees then...

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Irene: I have the sharpest memory in the group! Name one time I’ve forgotten something.

Joy: You left me in a walmart parking lot like three weeks ago.

Irene: I did that on purpose. Try again.

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Yeri: “Ooh, look at me! I’m Son Seungwan, and I fold my clothes before putting them away!” I bet you chew your food before you swallow it, too.

Wendy: Well, yeah...

Yeri: Pathetic.

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Wendy: I learned that Vikings used the bones of slain animals when smithing new weapons believing this would enchant the weapon with the animal's spirit. This actually made the weapons stronger because the carbon in the bones coupled with the iron made a primitive version of steel.

Yeri: Fuck off egghead, it’s because of bone magic.

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Seulgi: What's your biggest fear?

Joy: I'm incredibly arachnophobic

Seulgi [shocked whispering]: You don't want spiders to get married? :((

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Seulgi: *pushing on a door that clearly says pull*

Yeri: *filming* Push harder!

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Irene [looking at Seulgi]: What an angle..

Wendy: I think you mean angel?

Irene: I was talking about her jawline, but damn, you’re right too.

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Irene: So ... who broke it? I'm not mad, I just want to know. 

Seulgi: *inhale*... I did it. I broke it-

Irene: No, no you didn't. Yeri?

Yeri: Don't look at me! Look at Wendy!

Wendy: What?! I didn't break it! 

Yeri: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken? 

Wendy: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken!

Yeri: Suspicious.

Wendy: No it's not! 

Wendy: *sighs*... Well, if it matters ... probably not. Joy was the last one to use it.

Joy: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Wendy: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Joy: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Wendy!

Seulgi: Okay, let's not fight ... I broke it. Let me pay for it, Unnie. 

Irene: NO! Who broke it?

Yeri: ... *whispers* Unnie, Haetnim's been awfully quiet this whole time-

Joy: REALLY?!

Haetnim: WOOF?! 

(sounds of yelling and barking ensues)

(camera pans to Irene)

Irene: I broke it. It burned my hand, so I punched it. I predict that ten minutes from now they'll be at each others throats with war paints on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here. 

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

Irene: Whose turn is it to give the pep talk?

Seulgi: It's Wendy's turn.

Wendy: Fuck shit up out there but don't die.

Joy, wiping away a tear: Inspirational...

[totallycorrectredvelvetquotes]

[on the phone]

Irene: I just got home, where are you guys?

Yeri: The hospital.

Irene: Why? What happened?!

Yeri: Seulgi swallowed a watermelon seed.

Irene: So? It’s not like it’s gonna grow a watermelon in her stomach.

Yeri:

Yeri: We’ll be home in 10 minutes.