....

[touchitmoonlight]

Magnus: Where have you been all my life?

Alec: The closet.

[touchitmoonlight]

Charlotte: Your job is to shut up.

Will: Okay, that’s good, that’s easy. I was worried it would be fighting Demons, which is a lot more difficult than remaining quiet.

Jem: You’re failing at your job right now.

Will: Says you.

Jem: Says the definition of shut up.

[touchitmoonlight]

Friends: Hey, you want to go out tonight?

Me: I can't. I have a date.

[Four hours later]

Me: *opens new book and pats it slowly.* I am ready to love you.

[touchitmoonlight]

me: *has 30 books on tbr list*

me: *just bought 3 new books*

me: well, time to re-read TID!

[touchitmoonlight]

Will: Jem is dead

Tessa: omg no

Will: I know right

Will:

Will: okay let's fuck

[captainfalconie]

why is this person so analytical in the first part

[touchitmoonlight]

Will: *cuts his finger*

Will: Oh my I aM BLEEDING. BLOOD IS COMING OUT OF ME

Will: CALL BROTHER ZACHARIAH

[touchitmoonlight]

Think about it this way:

Jace: I got laid in my sixth book

Will: it only took me three

Julian: armatures, one.

Me: that's all good and well but..

Will: knew Tesss for several months and when it happened, they thought it would probably be the last nonviolent touch she ever would feel as she would be with Mortmain who planned to rape her and torture her into doing whatever he wants. It was One night of love and gentleness for her to hold onto.

Jace: knew clary for about a year and a half and I would say he was only himself and not avoiding her because incest is wrong for about half of that so 3-4 months and on that might they were more than likely going to die the next day.

Julian: knew Emma for about 16 years, she had almost died and he with her. They have raised children together. They have suffered unimaginable loss and survived extreme trauma and trials together.

Me: So now let see who really 'got lucky' first.

Jace: is in love with clary about 4 months

Will: is in love with Tess for about 5 months

Julian: is in love with Emma for about 5 years AND that was also the evening of his first kiss.

And just because: Jem had to wait 153 years.

[touchitmoonlight]

Me casually getting arrested

Cops: anything you say can and will be held against you

Me: WILL HERONDALE

[touchitmoonlight]

Will: [to Jem] I'm taking Tessa home.

Tessa: You're what?

Will: Tessa's taking me home.

Tessa: Better.

[touchitmoonlight]

Some People Just Don't Understand

Friend: Why are you smiling so big?

Me: This damn book.

*five minutes later*

Friend: Holy shit, why are you crying?

Me: This damn book.

*five minutes later*

Me: *screams in horror*

Friend: What? What's wrong?

Me: This damn book.

Me: *turns the page*

Me: *laughs hysterically*

Friend: GOD FUCKING--

[gloomyholiday]

[cassandraclare]

And soon there will be more warlocks to meet in TDA!

[touchitmoonlight]

Ariana Grande pack Like if you saved

[lightsaber]

enough

[touchitmoonlight]

"Side to side today"

[touchitmoonlight]

First day of school

Teacher: Tell us something interesting about yourself

My brain: tell em you cry over fictional characters, call them your babies, your children, that you can read like 8462 books in a week, and don't forget you also talk to your books

Me: uh, yeah, I like to read often

[cassandraclare]

happy birthday clary snippet

Clary’s birthday is August 23rd, so it’s a bit late, but a tiny Clary and Emma snippet from Lord of Shadows: 

“Clary, what are you not telling me?”

There was a long silence. Clary looked out toward the dark water, biting her lip. Finally, she spoke. “Jace asked me to marry him.”

“Oh!” Emma had already begun opening her arms to hug the other girl when she caught sight of Clary’s expression. She froze. “What’s wrong?”

[touchitmoonlight]

Nossa q tiro