Mind my Business

so I'm a secret hoe. 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

It's my 8 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

damn

[mademoisellehypergamy]

💋 THE “GOOD GIRL” WILL NOT WIN IN HYPERGAMY.  💋

If you’re a “nice girl” and think you can succeed in hypergamy by the sheer goodness of your heart– I’m here to slap some sense into you, sis. Because being the “nice girl” in hypergamy (and in life) will ruin you.

“I rebuke the good girl out of you, in the name of hypergamy. That girl is gone. Dead. Amen.”

Hypergamy boils down to two things: your pool of suitors (”hypergamy is a numbers game”), and your character. If you have both of these elements, you improve your odds at success.

Today I will discuss why being a “good girl” will not help you in hypergamy, why men do not care for the “good girl”, and traits you should possess to ensure you are on the path for hypergamous success.

💋 For Every Man that Won’t Give You What You Want, 10 More Will. Don’t ever stress about a man saying no to you. Ever. Because I promise you there’s a man out there that will say YES eagerly. If you fear a man telling you no, it’s because you see him as the prize.

💋  Have a Roster of Men. To all you ladies who “don’t like dating multiple men at once”, I want to tell you all to wake the f*ck up from this fantasy world you’re living in and come back to reality. 

Like, what are you doing?? It doesn’t make sense! You’re out here being loyal to one man who hasn’t even proposed to you? For what???? You’re not even being loyal to him, you’re being loyal to YOUR FOOLISHNESS.

Always have a roster, and may the best man win.

💋 Don’t Be Reactive. Ladies- save your crazy for your girlfriends or your dog. Men respond best to actions. If a man mistreats you, remove yourself. He no longer gets access to you. Do not explain. Do not complain. Remove. Yourself.

💋 Men Have Multiple Women. If you think your target only has you, think again sweetie!  Most high value men are also looking for the perfect woman, and that means connecting with multiple women until they find the best one. So yes, he might be madly in love with you right now, but be aware that there are other high value women out there looking for what your man has. 

💋 Don’t Make Excuses for Men. If a man isn’t treating you right, don’t excuse his behavior. Men aren’t dumb, they play dumb. Before you even start dating a man, you should always have expectations and standards. If a man cannot meet them, or even try to meet them, then don’t excuse his behavior. Because he sure as hell won’t excuse YOURS.

💋 Men Will Marry “the One” Immediately. I’ve seen it countless amount of times. Pick-me’s play Bob the Builder and “build” with a man, only for that man to leave her for a hotter woman that doesn’t even lift a finger. Well, with high value men, they don’t require the building, but will leave you just as fast if they find “the one”. As a hypergamous woman, you should always be seeking for the man that will put a ring on your finger. Until then, you are single!

💋 Being Kind is Great! A Doormat? No.  A kind and caring woman is wonderful, but if you confuse that with being a doormat, you will be stepped on.  Always put yourself first. Do not bend over backwards to please a man. Let him please you. Let him impress you.

💋 A High Value Man Will Always Provide– if they want you. If you’re chasing after a dusty with no job, don’t be surprised when he expects you to split dates with him, split rent, and pay his child support. 

High value, affluent men will provide without a second thought. Paying for dates, spoiling you, and helping you achieve your dreams is something he will do PROUDLY.  If a man cannot do this for you, he is not high value.

Don’t be too nice. Put yourself first. Stay focused. Move in silence. 

💋 Follow me on IG for more: @mademoisellehypergamy

[inmemoryofvanity]

Just feeling disposed.. used… and abandoned. That’s all.

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Interestingly enough I’ve felt this way outside of sex work, from my friends, family and lovers..

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Real shit

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

ugh feelings..

Just so caught up in my feelings its really hard to be there for people when your struggling with yourself. Everyday is a challenge of completing the things i need to do for school, work, personal goals… Always sacrificing something. Which is annoying, leaves me feeling imbalanced and kinda like a failure. 

I fail at something everyday- 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Wow I was really hard on myself

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Life isn’t a TV show, not everyone is watching you -words from my ex

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Facts!

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

I’m just secretly disappointed in myself, and how I’ve been behaving at the club. I drink a half a bottle of rum, always almost trip on stage and go too far during private dances..i need to take a break and re-evaluate if i can handle this or nah… 

Luckily, I’ve met a potential SD- only problem is he wants me to fuck with me, him only. TBH i don’t really care, as long as he is paying for my allowance. I fucked with dudes for less, who hardly have bus fare to get home. So I’m really not the one to get all bougie and on some type of moral high horse. That shit kills me, when girls who sprawl out in the club, fuck bare dudes, and are self proclaimed thotties, wanna act like they would never! Please bitch, don’t try to act like you have some high fucking moral compass, and “a family that loves you” now… lmfaoo ITS SAD THAT IM ACTUALLY QUOTING THIS FROM A REAL LIFE CONVERSATION.. ugh 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

My heart hurts, i wish i could stop the world- just so i can take a moment to cry. But there is no time for that. i made my bed, when i didn’t insist that he wear a condom, and now i have to lay in it. I feel stupid, ashamed, and just sad. I wish i choose someone better to go through this with- One minute he is there and the next he is gone..what type of father would he be.

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Exactly

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

When i got into sex work i promised my two worlds would not cross- but they did when i decided to hook up with this guy i met in the club. I was skeptical but he treated me well, we were attracted to each other and ….We hooked up a couple times and one time he slipped in without a condom.. each time that happened i took the day after pill but don’t be fooled it isn’t 100%-

So now I’m… ___ weeks pregnant with this dudes sperm and my lovely eggs. I’m sure he is a pimp, he is probably lying about his age and he claims to be super broke. The other day i gave him shit for not contacting me and  seeing how i was doing during this hard time in my life. He snaps about how he can’t afford to come see me because he has to choose food over traveling or some shit. & his phone is fucked and he can’t afford to buy a new one. ALL IN ALLL  he can’t even support himself right now (maybe because he isn’t exploiting strippers anymore) why would  i want to bring a baby into this world knowing the father aint shit- my family is already asking about the father and i showed them i don’t like him and don’t want him involved- tbh i don’t even know his family history what runs in his family, i’m just scared if i go through with this i’m going to have a fuckin kinder surprise i don’t want. 

I had an appointment but my family protested against it. But they don’t get it, if they only knew about the father they would understand- my sister says babies don’t need their fathers we didn’t have ours an we turned out fine- yes that is true but –doesn’t mean my mom didn’t struggle like hell. My mom wants the baby, she wants to raise it- she’s about 60 right now, just about to retire so she would really want an infant to take care off… but NAH i don’t wanna be that daughter putting their child on their mom like that.. 

BUT this could change my life around for the better- give me more drive and a purpose to live….

The next couple of days i have some serious thinking to do, i told my mom i may not have this child. She is sad but accepts that fact that it’s my body. 

All in all, i’m just sad… 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Fuck hard times - I still stand by my decision.

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

I’m just keep blaming everyone else for this, but really i put myself in this position. I feel like shit, i’m tired of feel like shit. I tired of life- and that doesn’t mean i want to kill myself. It just means I’ve taken on to much for my soul to bare, I’m in school, i picked up dancing, i have a demanding vanilla job, well multiple vanilla jobs where people look up to me as a role model. I make people happy, I’m studying to become a personal trainer. I got car payments and insurance. i was planning on moving out. &&& I’m prego. FUCKKKK THIS. 

I’m not mentally ready for parenting, i would no doubt love this baby with all my heart- but i don’t want that responsibility. I’m always on the move always occupied with something. Having a child is like having a full time job..I just finished school i don’t want another project thats going to last 18 flipping years.  I’m just sad, sad that i can never get a break in life, sad that I’m just always tired… sad that the only  way to cope is to cry in a dark room and rant on tumblr. People have it worse, its not the end of the wold,  i have options and i’m not alone. To bad knowing all of this still doesn’t make me feel better. 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Word

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

My cramps were unbelievable this morning, I’ve been in deep thought lately. I have a second chance to redeem myself. I try to remind myself of that before the guilt sets in. I don’t regret my decision, I’m happy i found a way to make sure it was my decision but it still hurts… 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Best decision ever!

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

TMI: Mystery pimp & what led to the abortion..

He was so mysterious to me, but i was intrigued. By his vague stories about himself- and i was the same. Only telling him what he needed to know. My stage name is ________. I eventually told him my age, and the area that i resided in. I knew his name, and his age but everything else is a blur and I’m sure he lied to me…Fast forward w begin to hook up- i was drunk and i let him into my hotel room. Big mistake, i should of never let my guard down. He didn’t rob me, yet… he didn’t rape me…i suppose.. but he made me believe in his story. I loved how weird he was, super germaphobe, but a freak. He drove a nice car, the ones that only rich folk drive…it was nice inside- warm…I met him another time, in his car- parked outside of a shopping mall. His fingers made me do the unthinkable..i was drenched he was shocked but made me feel completely comfortable with him. Thankfully i had a change of clothes. All in all, it became more weird when i met up with him to go to his house- he told me to turn off my phone i could make one call/text to whoever for safety but i couldn’t have my phone on. We met up at a nearby hotel and he drove me to his house.. His house was immaculate, he lived by himself, everything furnished and beautiful. Full fridge and appliances that i didn’t know existed. This was luxury. He fucked me endlessly, i came vigorously.. Until this one really awkward moment where he took out this mini video camera- I protested as his fingers drove deeper and deeper into me..my mind said no but my body still put on a show and made a huge mess… I felt violated, it reminded me of when my ex use to record me randomly on his phone without asking. He didn’t understand why i was so upset, but got the sense that i was traumatized from previous experiences. He never did it again.. after that we met at his house a few times, smoked, drank and fucked in his beautiful 4 bedroom home. I started to fall for him, and started to just not give a fuck.. i wanted to feel all of him, and every single drop of his essence was appreciated. I knew it was wrong, i had previous experience with contracting an STI but this was going to be different.. a new experience. You know what they warn you about when you have unprotected sex. Yup a lovely pregnancy!

 We hadn’t been talking for a bit, he had issues with his phone and was going through financial issues (which was hard to believe especially after experiencing how he lived). I checked myself out and found out the lovely news- luckily, his phone was working at the time and that was the first and last time he called me since. He was fake of course- he acted like he cared, like it was my decision and he would support me regardless. He heard me cry over the phone and laugh- i thought he was going to be there.Yup i actually believed him, again. But like any typical story, he wasn’t. It was always something with his stupid phone then his lights got shut off, oh an then his water was turned off. This dude had every fucking excuse in the book to not contact me. Thats when i realized, i don’t want to carry his name on, i don’t respect this dude, and i don’t want this pregnancy. I had a plan in place and it didn’t include parenting at this age with hardly enough to support my damn self. His absence helped a lot in my decision. I thought to myself is this what i want to deal with for 18 years, a deadbeat father. I already dealt with that, with my own father and i think i had enough. I told my family about the pregnancy , they supported me- but had their own desires for me to continue the pregnancy BUT  what they didn’t know was.. I only knew the fathers first name, his phone didn’t work and i didn’t  have an address for him. i would be raising this child completely alone (which is fine for some people, hats off to you if your a product of that or if your doing it right now! ) On top of that, i met this guy when i was a dancer. Oh by the way family I was a stripper well part time but still, and he was a former pimp. No he didn’t pimp me out! But he did used me, and dropped me. :D I think that story line would of changed their minds… 

All in all, I decided i’m not in the best mental space to continue the pregnancy (depression & suicide attempts aren’t really positive spaces to be bringing a child into this world) and the father being a dead beat wasn’t going to help this be any easier. Since that day, i haven’t texted him and he hasn’t texted me. He doesn’t know, that i decided to terminate the pregnancy and I don’t plan on telling him. He does not deserves peace of mind-

As for me, I’m taking it day by day. Trying to function normally, or figuring out a way to do so without outing myself to  the word, or isolating myself completely. I’m hopeful, my new project is getting my body back and dedicating my free time to the gym. The gym always makes me feel better, plus i gotta get this body in shape- I don’t ever plan on talking to him, until one day he shows up at the club. I’ll have my banging body and new pole tricks to show off, then ill twirl and spin around him like if he doesn’t exist while getting money-  shit he wouldn’t know about. Broke ass good for nothing typical ass fuck boy! 

DONT LETEM GET IN YOUR PANTS LADIES! fuck…. cause i did. 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Update- best decision ever.

[inmemoryofvanity]

Tonight is a mixture of academic study and breast augmentation study. It’s been an interesting journey- especially when i share my desires with other people. They always insert themselves with “But why your breast or pretty, perfect, fine..(insert other irrelevant opinion)” By saying that they miss the  WHOLE point- I’m not doing this for anyone approval but my own- 

I’m so exciting, my consultation is coming up, and i was going to invite my girlfriend who had BA before-until she blasted me with. “Do you have the money” -Sidenote: I really try to have patience with people, but its so hard! I don’t see why that was relevant to my question of her coming with me, but okay. *inhale positivity and exhale negativity* WHAT I WANTED TO SAY WAS IS that any of your business, do i ask you whats in your bank account sweetie?  BUT instead i told her that ill message her if its a go… (what that really meant is I’mma see how i feel about her presence tomorrow ) At the end of the day, I’m doing this- she’s protested against it because of her own really bad experience with surgery , loans and debt. I get it, but that doesn’t give her the right to smear her shit on my clear window. Let me live. 

Anyways this is happening for me, whether it be in 2 months or in 2 years.. once i hit 25 I’m getting these titties! 

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Got them At 28 🥳

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Do you have any tips on how to be safe in this industry? I had a really bad, sketchy first experience with a stripper agency

Hey anon, thanks for the question. I haven’t worked with a agency so I wouldn’t know specifially however here are some general tips that I do. .. I carry pepper spray and a switch blade in my purse firstly. Your heels can also be a handy weapon.

I make sure no one can see how much money I’ve made and if they ask I give them a vague answer that indicates it was a bad night even if it wasn’t. ( not trying to have anyone run up on me and rob me because I was bragging about how much money I made. )

I also don’t try to interact with the other girls too much (following them around/ hanging out in the dressing room). I don’t advertise that i drive and i dont bring dancers to my car or room. This isn’t high school but it feels like it sometimes so stear clear of drama and keep your shit locked up.

Regarding customers obviously lie to them about everything- keep your lies consistent enough so that you don’t forget your fake identity.

When it comes to private dancing don’t put yourself in a physical position where they can have easy access to touch you. Unfortunately I see all customers as opportunist, they will always try to take a mile when you give them an inch. For example I realized I can’t wrap my legs around them and do a hand stand on the floor because my pussy would be exposed, I wouldn’t be able to react fast enough to redirect their hands and it just leaves me vulnerable. Always be prepared to redirect their hands, essentially never let your guard down and get ready to block handsy dudes.

Never letting your guard down also means being aware of your drug and alcohol intake. I’m not going to tell yall to be sober because your grown but understand with every toke, snort or shot you became more vulnerable and exposed. So be mindful, I mix with water or chase with water to dilute it’s potency. Also never leave your drink unattended obviously.

I also have a safety call or text I let my ppl know when I’ve started and when I’m done. Having support outside of the club is helpful.

Lastly don’t step on ppl toes, be polite stay out of drama and don’t tell ppl your personal business. WHEN IN DOUBT JAB THEM IN THE EYES, GRAB THEIR BALLS SQUEEZE TWIST AND PULL. Don’t forget to get your money and run.😏

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Great Advice - past self

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

I just got amazing dick the type of dick you wanna put a ring on. He is cute, taller than me, intelligent and sweet. Thank you Jesus.

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Update the dick was good- but became infrequent with his trifling ways. Nothing worse than a sleeper-

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Story sharing time. I was super drunk last night and I got into a fight with the dude that im fucking. So I told him that he doesn’t understand and I was like I’ve danced and that night he ended up falling asleep but the next day I talked about it with him. It was sooooooo awkward cause I don’t tell anyone about that part of my life.. but I really like him so I wanted to clear things from my chest. You know what he ask.. in the most indirect way was if I was clean of stds. All in all I was tested like a few weeks back and going for testing again ASAP but I told him he has to see his bias he wasn’t asking me that before he knew about the stripping. All in all I’m hoping he still talks to me. I don’t see the big deal but I’m glad I said something now then later. I also revealed to him that I contracted hpv from my serious relationship so stds can be contracted at any moment of someone’s life regardless of what they do.

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Update -

Proof that I told the mother fucker about HPv and he tried to act like I didn’t

Plot twist he ended up contracting a STI from being a trifling ass nigga.. oops I mean dude

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

One day someone will fuck with me. On a real level not on a I want to fuck you level. One day I’ll recieve the love I deserve. . One day I’ll be happy with myself. One day I’ll stop thinking pain and death is the answer… one day I’ll love myself. One day I’ll stop drinking and doing drugs to numb the pain… one day I’ll stop depending on others to make me feel better. I hope one day comes sooner than later.

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Update- it has baby girl

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

My Neice says he’s mediocre but I see how intelligent, clever and sensual he is. I really love him I don’t want to admit it because I’ll probably look crazy and we’ve only been seeing each other for 6 months. But I love the parts of him that he has revealed to me. He makes me feel good and encourages me to be a better person. Like literally gives me speeches about black betterment and how I need to write my petition. It’s pretty awesome being his friend and also getting to enjoy his physical. He seems self conscious because he isn’t super jacked and he has a lil tummy but soo do I!! I ensure he knows I enjoy every part of him even the parts ge believes are flaws. His mental is beautiful and his drive is so sexy. I think we would be a good couple because I compliment him. I’ve opened and explored his sexuality. We don’t argue alot and when we do.. it never gets disrespectful it’s literally a debate. Although I do catch an attitude sometimes. I’m use to communicating passively with cues and attitudes but he has taught me that’s not cool nor respected. I dunno it’s been such a short time and we get along soo well. I try to be helpful in his life so I can never be considered a burden. I’ve really opened up to him about my life which was scary but he didn’t shun me and really made me comfortable with opening up. I’m just really happy with us … relationship or not. I think society definitely forces these architypes onto people. Society meaning friends and family. Granted of course I would like one which isn’t really any different from what we have.. just I think he would be more restricted with how he interacts with the opposite sex. Which I would appreciate because I think I would want him all to myself. Our openness is good to some degree because at least he can go out there and realize the grass is not greener on the other side😇…. or find his true love. Either way it’s bittersweet and maybe I’ll find who I’m really meant for. Anyways I’m content with us and I’m willing to take it further emotionally. It hurts that he is not but when he is I might be around and if I’m not I hope he finds someone that loves him more than I do. Our relationship has been far from mediocre💙

[touchmeteasemefuckyoupayme]

Update- we dated for about 3 years- he cheated with one of his staff and contracted an STI. Oh and I found out in his birthday- we were out to dinner and he was sexting her.

Crazy how shit changes huh.