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hello world you may call me Jane; my reblogs are mostly queer content; I haven't posted anything original since the first year of high school; (gamer, software developer, adorable pocket-sized human being);

[ampervadasz]

[cosmicwhoreo]

don't you dare hide this in the tags

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Agatha: We all have our demons.

Agatha, grabbing Rio: This one’s mine.

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Agatha: Love, tell Nicky about the birds and the bees.

Rio, to Nicky: They’re disappearing at an alarming rate.

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Agatha: It's a bit fucked up I cant explode into hundreds of bats while making my dramatic exit.

Rio, with pity: It's so fun you have no idea.

Agatha:

Rio:

Agatha: Don't you fucking dare-

Rio: *Poofs off in a flare of dissipating bats and flowers*

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Agatha, in a high voice, holding barbie: hey ken! I was thinking about going back to school and starting a career!

Rio, in a deep voice, holding ken: nonsense, barbie. you’re staying home and having my kids

Alice: what the fuck are you guys doing?

Agatha: playing systemic oppression

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Lilia: shake what your mamma gave you!

Agatha: *shakes antidepressants*

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Agatha: *eating cinnamon roll*

Rio: cannibalism.

Agatha: *confused and panicked choking sounds*

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Early Rio, about Agatha: Every time I’m around her, my pulse increases, my breath shortens, and my temperature skyrockets.

Rio: I think I’m allergic to her.

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Jen: we normal witches usually call this a “traumatic event”

Jen *to Agatha*: ..not a “bruh moment”

Jen *to Alice*: ..neither a “major L”

Jen *to Rio*: and most definitely not an “oof lmao”

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Rio: Agatha is playing hard to get.

Rio: Little does she know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

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Rio: Do you want to explain the text you sent me last night?

Agatha: It was autocorrect.

Rio: Autocorrect wrote "You're so hot. Please step on me."?

Agatha: Yes

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Alice: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Lilia: I sleep with a gun under mine.

Agatha: You two are pathetic.

Alice: Oh, yeah? What do you sleep with?

Agatha: Rio.

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Pilot: Before we take off, please make sure all small items are secure.

Rio:

Agatha: Don’t fucking say it

Rio: I didn’t say anything

Agatha: I swear if you say it-

Rio: I haven’t said it!

Agatha:

Rio: Are you feeling secure?

Agatha: FUCK YOU

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Agatha: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder

Rio: *glares at Jen*

Jen: Well sorry I have morals

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Rio, leaning on the counter: Hey beautiful, come here often?

Agatha: Is this the part where I remind you we've been married for over 300 years or do I play along?

Rio: Play along!

Agatha: All right. Sorry, I'm not interested. I'm married.

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Agatha: Next time we meet, we’re enemies!

Rio, in her head: Enemies to lovers, slowburn, angst with happy ending, 300k+ words

[incorrectagathaallalongquotes]

Rio, on the phone with a nurse: My wife is going into labor!

Nurse: Is this her first child?

Rio, panicking: No, this is her wife!