Sweet Seals For You, Always
Kiana Khansmith
official daine visual archive
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$LAYYYTER
if i look back, i am lost
KIROKAZE
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shark vs the universe
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
Interview Vampire Daily
Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
occasionally subtle
Color Me Curious
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Origami Around
TMBGareOK. The Official They Might Be Giants tumblr
Doug Jones
blake kathryn
The Stonewall Inn
seen from Singapore
seen from Ukraine
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seen from United States
seen from Colombia
seen from Côte d’Ivoire
seen from India
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@toujoursanxieuse
2 years and 7 months in- i’ve moved on:)) he’s really great- like called me the other day bc i was spiraling and knew i needed to talk to someone. so i think we need to change this
6 months since my world ended and i’m myself again :)
it’s been a while… it’s been better than it was. big news is i’m cutting my hair!! but it’s more than just a change and a new style- i’m letting go of one of the last few things i have of him.
yes it’s my hair - i know this but it was supposed to be engagement hair, wedding hair, yearly photograph hair. and now it won’t be anymore. it will be my hair again, my style my cut and my color.
almost a year ago now i was told that i wasn’t crazy for wanting to grow my hair out for engagement pictures and it sent me into lala land and now im finally doing it. i will have short hair again and i will be myself again
why do i have to hurt like this and you get to act like i never existed
2 years and 7 months when the waves of sadness are brutal
people asked why I was quick to get a tattoo after my breakup- 5 days after my tattoo and I feel more like myself than I did before it all happened. it releases something in you- it brought a piece of me back out.
2 years and 7 months in when I didn't need to feel guilty for taking care of myself
things I liked doing:
reading
watching dry comedy tv shows
sitting on the beach
taking pictures
eating snacks
having anything to drink other than water (this seems silly but you can have something else OCCASIONALLY)
sleeping in late
crafting
do you see the pattern?
2 years and 7 months in when I learned we were "too Dissimilar"
things my ex didn't like doing:
reading
watching dry comedy tv shows
sitting on the beach
taking pictures
eating snacks
having anything to drink other than water (this seems silly but you can have something else OCCASIONALLY)
sleeping in late
crafting
Every thing my ex said that I'll never know if it was true or not:
"Now we can save for a place"
"don't worry I've thought of places to propose"
"I'm so glad you like these kind of movies like me, its cool that we can watch it together" - this one stings a bit because he broke up with me the next day
"and when we have our own place...."
knowing what I know now- I wish he was honest, and he hadn't dangled that happiness infront of me. The fact that these statements were probably once true- but not any longer.
2 years and 7 months in when I learned the hard way how someone can lie and love you at the same time.
trying to wrap my head around the fact that there actually is an after you phase,
but for almost 3 years i only thought of the phase we were in.
the fact that i felt such a high improbability of a future without you should tell you how blindsided i was.
but “you do have a choice”
2 years and 7 months in when the phase after you started and i had to learn how to function all over again
did you feel the same hurt i did on that day? or did you have time to grieve me while i was sleeping next to you?
2 years 7 months in when you had know for a “few months”
if i had answered the phone more
would it have made a difference
would you still be with me
or was i too comfortable in the silence of not speaking?
you know the answer to this one…
but it’s one i’ll never know the answer too.
2 years and 7 months in when i had relearn how to truly love myself.
maybe we were too different but that didn’t stop me from falling in love with you
2 years 7 months in when you said good bye and i didn’t understand why
i’m just waiting for the day- the day you find all of the little things that remind you of me.
the characters in video games that you named after me
the songs that are in your library bc i liked them
the characters modeled after me in video games that you played
not now
not tomorrow
maybe not even next week
but months from now when you find all of these things and you have to be reminded of how you hurt me and how you have to think of me and i’ll stay on your mind
like you are on mine now
2 years and 7 months in when i started to heal
“Give yourself credit for the days you’ve made it when you thought you couldn’t.”
— cwote
i’ve never questioned myself so much than without you here and i hate that you did that to me.
