This one is for iamthewallrose who wanted to know if there are any scenes that show if Erwin cares about Levi the same way Levi cares about him. I think an answer to that would come in many parts. I might write a longer meta (yes even longer than this, I tend to ramble) about this later but right now i’ll just tell you “it’s all about the parallelism”!.
First, the parallel between Erwin and Levi during the military coup arc. The MP tried to use Erwin as a way to get to Levi. And they also used Levi to try to get to Erwin. They even called Levi Erwin’s confidant. This connection is further solidified when it is Erwin and Levi’s reunion that Isayama decided to dedicate a whole page to, complete with meaningful looks and silences (a staple of the Eruri relationship).
There was also that “Levi…” during Erwin’s conversation with Zackley.
The second parallel (one I think is often overlooked) is the parallel between Erwin and Historia. Both have (had in Historia’s case) masks. Both have daddy issues. Both feel they are partly to blame for one of their parent’s death. And both grapple with their own self worth and their relationship to humanity as a whole. They grapple with whether they are good people or not. They both kind of adopt “alter egos” that they believe will allow them to do the best good to the world. Yet, their need for alter egos reveals a lack of self worth and an abundance of self hate. They both believe their true selves are unworthy of doing good and of receiving love. Erwin, for example believes his “crimes” are unforgivable and that he will go to hell. The casualness with which he states this conviction suggests this is simply a truth he lives with. He believes he deserves to die like one knows that the sun is hot. I believe both are substantially portrayed as suffering from depression. As we know, Historia’s lack of self worth and her desire to do the right thing lead to an identity crisis which revealed her habit of disassociating from her true self. In the end Historia doesn’t abandon who she really is and instead embraces herself. She also accepts the fact that she doesn’t want to save the world, that she doesn’t have to. Instead she wants to help people who think that they are useless. In the scheme of things this might not be the grandest of ambitions but it shows that love for humanity is very much a part of who Historia is, even if she isn’t trying to save the world.
Erwin is different from Historia in that he has lived longer, has watched more people die, and is so far down the self hate path he might never leave. Like, Historia Erwin’s fight against Titans and the almost obsessive, dissociative way in which he goes about it stems from many things, and one of those things is the guilt of “killing” a parent and a desperate desire to do good by his father. And to be of use to the world.
While I have no doubt that Erwin’s own curiosity also drives him, I don’t think this is his only reason for risking so much. Erwin’s selfishness is a complex thing and in my opinion it comes from a severe sense of guilt and lack of self worth more than anything else. If it was Erwin’s curiosity alone that drove him, why does he put so little worth on his other emotions (such as love)? Why was he so ready to die when his arm got eaten instead of ordering his men to save him (we must remember his dream had not been realized then)? Why, when talking with Zackley, was he devastated to learn that he didn’t always think 100% about humanity, that he had wanted his friends to live even if it hadn’t been what was best for humanity? Why was he disappointed in himself for wanting his friends to live (what’s with all the impossibly high expectations)?
Everything points toward self hate, a lack of self worth, a desperate need to disassociate, self denial, and a view of himself as a morally tainted person whose only worth lies in how far he is willing to go to end the Titan threat and to realize his father’s dream about finding the truth. Ultimately his death would not only be the culmination of his entire worth (remember the martyr complex Krista had) but, in Erwin’s mind, it would be just given how many people he has sent off to their deaths.
Erwin’s selfishness, to me at least, comes from the fact that he refuses to see his worth, that in his vehement rejection of his own personal desires (outside from discovering the truth of the Titan’s) and emotions he hurts the people that care for him. His selfishness is like Eren’s when he put much too high expectations on himself and hurt Mikasa because of his insecurities and then later became suicidal when he felt he was in fact useless, despite his power.
And here’s another point. An obsessive loyalty to a cause, especially when it inspires someone to hide their true selves and true feelings, isn’t portrayed as 100% good in SNK. It is more often portrayed as a hint at something deeper within a chatacter, something like depression, guilt and self-esteem issues. In Erwin’s case it has often been portrayed as a necessary evil. Erwin’s role more than anyone else’s calls for disassociation. However, this doesn’t mean the reasons behind Erwin’s single minded devotion to his cause aren’t similar to Historia’s or even Eren’s. That they don’t come from a deep well of mental issues that have been brewing ever since his father died. Maybe, its harder for people to see this in Erwin because he is not only a fully grown adult but also an authority figure. We don’t expect authority figures to have self-esteem issues or to have crippling insecurities. But to me it is obvious Erwin suffers from these things just like some of the kids.
Now, getting back to Levi, another thing that Erwin and Historia have in common is that one person sees through their masks. One person tries to pry a part their walls and they succeed in a way. Erwin has Levi and Historia has Ymir. Some people have speculated that Erwin is his most genuine self with Levi, and I believe this (one just has to look at the range of emotions Erwin has on his face whenever he talks to Levi, talks about Levi, and even when he hears about Levi). This parallel is ripe with possibilities such as the reciprocity of Ymir and Historia’s relationship and how they both influenced each other to become better.
And finally this parallel with Historia and to some degree Eren brings up a possibility for the future of Erwin’s character. Both Eren and Historia have come to peace with who they are and what they want to do and why they want to do it. Eren and Historia have healed themselves from the toxic, destructive way they treated their own selves and I believe are now able to affect the world and the people they love in a better way. Erwin hasn’t gone through that change yet and the question is is it too late? Does he have too much blood on his hands? Is there really any future for him outside of dying for his cause? That’s why it’s so interesting that Levi is the one that confronts Erwin about his future, that’s why it’s so interesting that it is Levi who confronts him about showing his true emotions. Levi’s attitude towards Erwin goes against everything Erwin believes about himself. Levi doesn’t believe Erwin’s life is just a throw away life, and due to the overtly personal nature of Levi’s plea, we can see Levi doesn’t believe Erwin’s worth lies solely in dying for a cause. While Erwin denies himself his own personal emotions not directly linked to achieving his goals, Levi demands for them to be seen. Levi is frustrated at the way Erwin carelessly regards his own life. He is saddened that Erwin is intent on seeing his own life as a dead end. However, the fact that Erwin let’s small bits of his true self show to Levi is a big deal. Perhaps, when the time comes Erwin, like Historia, will have a change of heart because of a blunt, stubborn person who saw something in him that he didn’t see in himself.
Is Erwin selfish? Yes, but not in a straight forward “he only cares about himself and not humanity” way. Not in a “his dreams come before anyone and anything else” kind of way. He is selfish in the way Historia was selfish. I’m not worried that his selfishness will lead to the expedition’s failure, that he will do drastic things and kill off many people just to be there when the truth is revealed. Because that, in my opinion, is not the nature of his selfishness. The nature of his selfishness will more likely lead to his death, in fact, the nature of his selfishness guarantees his death, requires it. Erwin’s selfishness lies in the fact that by denying his true self he restricts himself from interacting/affecting the world and the people that care about him in the best way possible. It lies in the fact that his insecurities and guilt, more than anything else, drive him. Even if humanity has benefited from Erwin’s methods, there is always a question of whether or not this is truly all Erwin has to offer. Levi seems to believe Erwin has much more to offer.
I think the whole single minded, suicidal dedication to a cause not being 100% right and hinting at deeper mental issues is a theme you can find almost everywhere in SNK. From Reiner, Annie, and Bertholdt to Kenny, Uri, and the Reisses.
Or I could be totally wrong about all of this! But I don’t regret anything mwhahaha!!!
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