this tweet has been fucking killing me
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@tourmelion
this tweet has been fucking killing me
mold pisses me off so much
oh you have to eat your produce the moment it leaves the store or the fuckin Hungering Dust will get it. and. poison your food
I ran into this post years ago and to be honest, it has completely reoriented the way I engage with food.
Like. I’ve always sorta understood that things grow moldy or stale or sour or such if left out, but I never really internalized it in a meaningful way.
But now I’m just like.
Yeah. The hungering dust. There exists omnivorous dust in the air that will eat my food if I don’t.
Those bagels have been sitting there for a week. Are we going to eat them soon or are we leaving them for the hungering dust?
Pizza’s been sitting out on the counter for an hour. Everyone’s enjoying the pizza, but if we don’t want “everyone” to include the hungering dust then we should probably put it away soon.
That’s just. That’s how food works to me now. There exists an invisible predator in the air that hungers for your yummies, and it will not hesitate to eat your food if you don’t make the effort to protect and preserve it. And eat what can’t be preserved before the dust can.
Life-changing.
food doesn’t actually “go bad”, it just gets eaten by something else first
roses are red, tomatoes are sweet, HE BOOTS TOO BIG FOR HE GOT DAMN FEET
*flies past*
roses are red, tomatoes are sweet, HE BOOTS TOO BIG FOR HE GOT DAMN FEET
The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
oh shit
As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.
Y'all know what to do Tumblr.
Okay, so about a month ago, I decided that a million is too high, especially since I had comments limited for about the first 6 months because it took me that long to figure out how to turn them back on. (I’ve explained that I am very stupid.)
So I posted to my followers that I’d lower the threshold to 700,000 because I love you all and I’m starting to worry about a handful of you.
Anyway, we have passed 700,000 sometime in the last 2 days, which is great news because I already have an appointment with my tattoo artist on Monday. It will probably take more than one session, but I’m hoping to at least have a partially finished version to show off by the deadline in June.
Even though OP will be getting the tattoo either way, I want to see if we can get this to 750,000 notes (three-quarters or the original goal). We’re currently at 748,929, so we only have 1,071 to go!
Navigating gender dysphoria? Be heard and be counted in the science.
Join our confidential, cross-country study of 18-25 year olds to tell your story, challenge preconceptions, and have YOUR experience reflected in the science on queer youth | ayagdos.org
IF YOU SEE THIS DO NOT TAKE THIS SURVEY. THIS IS A BAD FAITH STUDY TARGETING TRANS YOUNG PEOPLE FROM SOME OF THE LEADING MINDS OF THE ANTI TRANS MOVEMENT. DO NOT TAKE AT ALL.
Alright now that it’s not the middle of the night let me add some more context: All leading researchers of this study—J. Michael Bailey of Northwestern University, Lisa Littman, and Kenneth Zucker—have longstanding professional associations with research frameworks that challenge or reject gender-affirming models of care. Many trans-led organizations, advocates, and researchers are urging families NOT to participate in this study, as the data collected will be skewed to promote false and harmful narratives about trans people, and will be weaponized by lawmakers looking to pass discriminatory bills.
(Information above from PFLAG National)
Bailey has spent the last 20+ years of his professional career attacking the Trans community — he has been accused of misconduct MULTIPLE times around not getting informed consent for the research he does.
PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD THEY ARE BLAZING THEIR POST TRYING TO REACH THE QUEER COMMUNITY ON TUMBLR.
why so silent good messieurs
I’m SEVERELY disappointed this post didn’t include the eye witness statement of the mirror crash incident in question
got a giant and i mean GIANT fresh-squeezed strawberry lemonade at the farmer's market today. i'm talking like a full quart with a straw in it. very delicious. five dollars. nice. as i was leaving, laden with vegetables, a young man waved at me and asked where i had acquired my immense beverage. and after i pointed him toward the stall and informed him of the various prices and flavors, he looked toward the sky, basketball shorts flapping in the breeze, and bellowed to the heavens, "oh i am gonna SLUUUUUUUURP that." happy slurp that saturday everyone.
so last year during a period of intense suicidal depression i made this necklace that i always wear, right, and the thing is it's genuinely brought me a lot of comfort and relief and i've developed a strong sentimental attachment to it, to the point that i can inarguably state that it's had a net positive effect on my mental wellbeing. however i did now just have to stop to almost throw up laughing because i realised that i've succumbed to the amulet.
I did this but I made a rosary necklace from silksong and proceeded to become entirely dependent on the powers of delusion
my mom sent this comic in our family group chat a couple days ago
'Iron Lung,' the breakout feature from filmmaker and content creator Markiplier, will debut on YouTube on May 31st.
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
This stupid exchange between friends has become a cultural icon.
This stupid exchange
between friends has become a
cultural icon.
Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.
FUCK. honestly just FUCK. We missed a very important day yesterday.
what was yesterday, cat?
I’m not missing it this year.
i came here for the zukka content and stayed for the mayo discourse. im here to pitch a restaurant called White People Food where it’s shit combos like mayo+ketchup and pizza+ranch but the only seasonings allowed are salt and black pepper.
it’s the opposite of that post which is like “i tell the waiter to stop grating cheese when the room is filled with cheese” but in the opposite direction: no matter how much salt you ask them to put, it is simply untasteable
Fr tho all of my white friends just... don't eat good food?? Like I'm white too but my family eats a whole world of food. Like one night we make pad thai and the next it's pastelitos. We have food from around the world on a daily basis and my sister's girlfriend has never had paprika.
I'm alive!
FOR MY T-GIRLS AND T-BOYS! YOU MATTER! YOU ARE PERFECT! BLAZE UP! LOVE YOU 🩵🩷🤍🩷🩵
Oh this reminds me of a story from my youth, which I don’t Actually Remember Happening, but it has been recounted to me.
Basically when me and my bro were little, once, my mom had been making us supper. and she left the room for a minute for something, and when she came back, my brother was standing on a chair, and I was passing him green beans, which he was setting on the blades of the ceiling fan.
Now, when my mother saw this, she did what any respectable parent would do, and told us to sit our butts down and wait til our dad gets home.
Not much later, dad got home from work, ready to sit down to supper.
And mom sighs and goes, “honey, it’s hot in here, would you turn the fan on?”