weird stories from a weird school

M and O

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- Someone said bonjour, and the other person replied “yes that’s real”

- A teacher sent everyone a document on google drive and decided to tell each person in the class individually instead of just saying it to everyone

- In PE a guy hit someone in the face with a dodgeball and was so ashamed he hid in a corner

- The same guy pulled a lever and a climbing frame almost fell off the wall

And finally, 

“Alcohol is the only reason I’m here”

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- A guy tried to scare someone by telling them the principal was coming, and then hE ACTUALLY APPEARED.

- Someone suggested drawing tiny men on someone’s skin was a good punishment for murder.

And finally,

“Sin! Sin! Sin!”

- M and O

11/07/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- A guy’s face was bleeding for three periods (over three hours) but he didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to make a fuss.

- Some kids were using the iPads to look at memes and when the teacher came past they opened a tab of photos of yaks and pretended to study them.

- M and O

10/07/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- A teacher left the room for a few minutes, and the whole class started throwing stuff out the window onto the roof on the next building.

- A guy yelled “chair seat, chair YEET” and slid along the floor on an overturned chair.

- A Spanish teacher told the class her husband was just temporary.

And finally,

“Miss, do you like it big?”

- M and O

06/07/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- We did a drug awareness day and they had fake drugs to show what they looked like (the opium was actually liquorice).

- A teacher showed his class photos of him as a teenager (he seemed like an edgy teen)

- There’s this Science teacher who has a lisp, and a girl laughed really loudly at his voice.

- Someone drew The Creation of Adam (the Michelangelo painting) but with turtles instead of people.

And finally,

“Sophia is in Year 10 and has no face.”

- M and O

04/07/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- *tries cucumber smoothie* “ew it’s like cucumber”

- Some kids found a round sofa (it looked like this) and hid inside.

- A Spanish teacher called a student ‘master’.

- There was an empty room so a guy just rolled around the floor for a few solid minutes.

And finally,

“Philosophy is the daddy of all subjects.”

- M and O

27/06/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened during exam week:

- These students kept on pulling the grass out of the ground and going "ahh look the grass just came out" and everyone was really supportive of the grass for coming out. 

 - A group of 16 year olds covered a teacher's car in cling film. 

 - In the science exam, there was a question on why plants absorb oxygen when there's no light, and a girl wrote "because the plants can't see in the dark". 

 - Three students left a message on a 12 year olds google drive saying that their google account had become sentient and needed a body. 

 - A teacher told his class that they can just pretend to do a lesson. 

 - Some guy wrote about how the death penalty was "made by satanists". 

 And finally, 

 "What's actually inside your body?" 

 - M and O 

 19/06/17-23/06/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- Some guy had left the RE class, so someone replaced him with a saxophone case called John. - Someone asked if fish were animals. - We had a supply teacher for science and he kept on randomly standing up on the chair??? And then he played a science edition of hollaback girl. - Someone just kinda brought their baby into school. - In music, the teacher asked a boy what kind of drums were used in a piece and he replied with "the mabooby drums???". - This teacher's lunch box was the face of a dog and these two girls found it hilarious. - The French teacher kept on putting tall people in front of short people one by one, so eventually the short people couldn't see the board. - Someone went "oh my gosh did you just finger my pencil case". And finally, "Jellyfish are cute but they cause so much pain" - M and O 13/6/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- Someone spent the entire photography lesson looking at 'one thicc bih' memes and drawing a single square. - One guy said to another student seductively: "I'd pay for you to be my therapist". - Some student asked the teacher if Beyoncé was Jesus, to which she replied with "yes". Then, another guy said "isn't she that weird woman with tattoos??" and everyone was shook. - When someone asked this guy whether he was a top or a bottom, he got confused and said "my teacher doesn't like me, so they're moving me down a set in English". - The science teacher said "volts are like pirates - you never know what you're going to get" and everyone was like ?????? - A girl came back from getting something from her maths teachers office, and as she sat down, she said "oh my god why are there so many memes on her wall". And finally, "What if when people opened their mouths they made the noise that wood makes when you hit it" - M and O 12/6/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- Someone wrote help on the wall with really shaky writing. - This science teacher seemed to be fascinated by this video of a guy reviewing a plug socket. - A younger girl (who's quite bossy tbh) was kicked out of her band. When the teacher asked who was crying, she sounded very sympathetic. However, when someone told her who it was, she just went "oh". - A student complimented a teacher's jacket, and she went "oh thAnk you, I can fit almost anYTHING in these pockets" and she proceeded to take the students book and pencil case and put them in her pockets. - A girl drew a smiley face on another girls cheek, and people thought it was a vase, a mushroom and a penis (it was clearly a smiley face lmao). Someone complemented her, saying it was 'nice contouring'. And finally, "DON'T SIT DOWN, YOUR SEAT IS COVERED IN GLUE" - M and O 8/6/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- The title of the maths lesson was 'quality ass' and everyone was dying with laughter. - The maths teacher couldn't stop saying 'queries' and every time she did, a bunch of lgbt people kept on looking at each other like :)) - For some reason, half of a Spanish lesson just ended up being this kid playing guitar. - Someone hid a pizza box in someone's locker. - We learnt about how 'feet' were used in this poem, and two girls lost it for some reason. - These kids were discussing how good tampons are at starting fires. And finally, "Can you use an acorn as a tampon?" - M and O 7/6/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- A student called his teacher senpai. - Someone accidentally wrote dog instead of God. - Someone accidentally wrote 'je suis' instead of 'I am' in their English lesson. - This person spent the entire English lesson glueing together bits of paper to make a really long paper snake. - This Spanish teacher had unusually long fingers and a bunch of kids couldn't stop laughing for the entire lesson. - A girl has been off school for a while now, and today was her first English lesson. The teacher literally went up to her, yelled her name and gave her a massive hug whilst the rest of the class was working in silence. - This girl was convinced that the girl next to her sneezed during class and tbh she's probably still questioning her sanity. And finally, "I had my willy braces on last night" - M and O 6/6/17

[tpskids]

Some things that happened at school today:

- In PE, a bunch of students decided to play tennis like the miis on wii sports. - Someone forgot to log off their laptop, so this person decided to create them a folder full of memes. - Instead of doing their work, these two students spent their entire maths lesson excitedly discussing eurovision. - This guy found a troll doll on the floor, so he threw it at this girl an said "hey, look how thicc this troll doll is". And finally, "Are you a top or a bottom?" "I'm a middle" - M and O 5/6/17

[tpskids]

There was this Geography teacher who used to be really obsessed with raccoons (like she showed us videos of them every lesson, this was her favourite) and when we got a new teacher the next year, someone said “you’re much better than our old teacher, she had a raccoon fetish”

[tpskids]

This one time in Photography someone had to go home because a camera flashed in their eye and they got a migraine, so suddenly loads of people tried taking photos of their eyes so they could go home too

[tpskids]

SO once I was walking across the school and I heard this guy say “If you’re going to bang Jonty, you’ll need some petrol.”

[tpskids]

Back when the killer clowns were a thing, there was this one girl who was really scared and everyone tried to reassure her but she just yelled “i LIVE IN A SHED”