Counting the days for leaving 2017. It’s time to review all I’ve done so far and also is time to figure out what future be like. I missed it last year, cause lots of preparation for some occasions. and yaa, I messed up.
2017 was very special for me. I call it Question and Answer year. The question came from my past year even my childhood year. Maybe God want me to realize many things that I really wanted in past. And it was exactly the same feeling that I wanted to feel. I thought I couldn’t turn back time. I really felt bad at that time and as time went by, I never thought it could happen. But, It really happened in this year.
I gave lots of complain to my parents, I argued to my my self and then I became a selfish person that really want to be heard only. I put my trust in wrong people. I wasted people who love and care about me. I missed morning and night prayer and reading bible. I made wrong decision about future and I was full of regret. I never thought that maybe I could hurt somebody’s feeling. I took long time to realize all that I’ve done was the worst things to do.
I worked as Trainer/HRD in finance company for 3-4 months. I resigned from the company cause I felt like I challenged my self too much. I felt bad at my self cause I motivated my employee to work in here while I was the one who needed to be motivated. But, I really met better people and friends than before. It was really hard for me to leave. But, I knew I faked my self to be there.
I started studying management. It’s quite fun. I discussed many things that I really wanted to know. I met friends with many characters. Sometimes, I wanted to kill em and sometimes I wanted to kept em forever. The class feels like hell. It is full of competitive students who want to be leader without any effort. They will stab you in the back or slap you in the face. We’re all the dirty players.
I opened food and beverage stall that sold chicken porridge and fruit soup. I opened for 4-5 months and then I closed. I’ve bankrupted. I really learned the lesson from its failure. I learned how to make a plan, how to be grateful all the time, how to be optimistic, how to be persistent and be the best till the show is done.
I opened online shop, yeay! I thought no one could notice my shop, but yaaah I am so thankful for customers who bought my product. I really sold the authentic one. Lots of idea for future, I can’t wait!
I’ve been seeking for a great job. I took test in some companies and all is failed. Many of them didn’t suit to my time schedule. so sad.
Family Time. I had a lot of times for family. We celebrated our birthday, blown the candles, eat birthday cake and had birthday dinner. We visited each other. We had many times for breakfast, lunch and dinner together.
I had birthday in December. I felt so happy. Only God knows why am I so happy :) I really am an easy going person after all. I took times to know my self well. What happiness means for me? What love defines? What is worth and value of my self?
It was all my quick review of 2017.
Aku sangat bersyukur untuk semua yang telah dilalui di tahun 2017. Semuanya memberikan banyak pelajaran yang sangat berharga. Untuk setiap kesalahan dan kegagalan tidak hanya ada air mata, rasa malu, dan marah ternyata. Sebenarnya yang aku butuhkan adalah “MENERIMA” semua hal-hal yang ada di luar kendali aku. Rasa marah dan penyesalan membawa aku ke dalam sebuah kesia-siaan. Menerima hal yang di luar ekspektasi itu ternyata sulit sekali. Ternyata tidak semua hal bisa kuadaptasi dengan baik dan cepat. Semuanya dari awal adalah benar tapi ketika aku tidak pernah mencoba menerimanya semuanya akan menjadi serba salah bila melihat dengan kaca mataku.
Tahun ini sungguh luar biasa merubahku mungkin enggak berdampak begitu besar buat orang-orang di sekitarku. Tapi hal itu menjadi nyata jika kita sendiri yang merasakannya. Untuk keluarga yang terus mendokan dan mendukung, untuk teman-teman yang menghibur, dan untuk orang-orang yang menyentuh hati, perasaan, dan cara pandang aku tanpa sadar dan seperti kebetulan. Semuanya sangat berarti.
Masih banyak hal yang ingin aku lakukan di tahun berikutnya. Kalau di tahun ini lebih banyak putus asa dan keluhannya, aku harap di tahun depan aku bisa lebih bersemangat dan menggunakan waktu sebaik mungkin.
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