epiitaphsâ:
He takes the second bucket from the ground, assuming that Johnâs brought it for him. Heâs thoughtful like that, Seb thinks briefly as he moves the water closer to his own horse who eagerly starts in on it. âI canât feel it yet, but at some point the air will change.â Itâs not necessarily the cold - though thatâs obviously an integral part of the winter - but at some point, nature will fully shift and thereâll be no more battles to fight.Â
âDo you?â Sebastianâs mind is fully on the prospect of battle, it seems. They could have endless war if they wanted, with no need to pause. Heâs heard that sometimes the rain is brutal there - from some diplomat he barely paid any attention to - so he doesnât know if that stops anything. âItâd certainly snow less if we were there.â Itâs not the snow - well, it is the snow - but rather the mud thatâs the worst of it. All the same. But the subject returns to war, as anything does these day. âAlright, I do suppose I envy them that. Iâd much rather be at war than not.â Even when the fatigue sets in, when the screams of the dying are easy to call to mind. Heâd rather be there than at the capital. âYou feel for far too many people,â he tells John.Â
âYou donât mean that,â he replies lightly. âThereâs far too much even for you.â Though John does actually listen to him. Itâs nice. âWell, first of all the weatherâs been shit in general, weâve been taking too many losses, and some of the battlefield tactics make little to no sense in half the situations theyâre used in. And Iâm tired.â
John makes a noncommittal noise and doesnât look at Sebastian. Maybe he does care about too many people, but he feels like someone has to. If he has spare food and sees a child by the side of the road, heâll give it to them. If theyâve stopped near a village, John will walk to the nearest house and assure them that the battlefield is far away. The world is too full of evils and anger and selfishness, and John causes some of it. Heâs killed sons and fathers without hesitation, without mourning. Thereâs no harm in soothing where he can.
âOh, donât I?â Itâs good to smile with Sebastian after a long day of riding, a long week of killing. âIâm not so sure. Seems to me like weâre settled in for the night, and I have nothing but time and no one to entertain but yourself.â He could sit with any of the men they fight alongside and strike up a conversation, but heâd rather talk with Seb, whoâs interesting and funny and extremely rude. Plus, Sebastian doesnât spend hours around the fire bemoaning a family left behind.Â
Sebastianâs complaints slide right off Johnâs shoulders. Heâs glad to listen to them, but the negativity doesnât bother him. Instead he hums in agreement. âI almost didnât follow the orders earlier. It felt wrong. I wanted to make a different call, but,â he shrugs, âwhat I want isnât important.â Heâs not ranked well enough for that, and heâd get his ass handed to him for falling out of line. Someone has to hold the men strong. âLetâs go get something to eat, and then we can sleep. Weâre not on first shift, anyway.â















