A couple months ago I was out running on a short trail loop when I pass a guy and his two or three year-old kid. The guy had basically a tight spandex suit on, head to toe, with a hat and sunglasses, and he was running alongside his kid on a tricycle. They were moving quite slowly so I knew I’d be passing them frequently. He was a very fit and sexy young dad and the outfit worked wonders for him. I did think it was a little out of character for a straight guy to have his ass and body so outlined (who knows, I thought, maybe a gay dad?), but I certainly didn’t mind it as I spent the next 30 minutes or so passing them and getting to marvel at his ass, legs, and perfectly toned upper body the whole time. Face was very handsome as well. He kind of looked like a former baseball player.
Well weeks go by and I basically forgot about him (was hot to jerk off to a couple times though). A couple weeks ago I’m out for a run through the neighborhood, and just out of my peripheral vision probably 3/4 of a block away my subconscious spots something and my brain just reads “ASS.” So I run in that direction and as I’m approaching I see the ass I’d spotted is in very form-fitting pair of shorts on a very hot guy who is pushing his kid in a stroller and walking with his wife. Wow, I thought, those are some very tight and very short shorts for a guy with a wife. I know this stereotyping is awful, but I know any other gay guy would’ve thought the same. I’m thinking, goddamn, a guy walking around with his ass on full display like that must be looking to get fucked. So I run right by them and as I’m passing them I realize it’s the same guy from the trail weeks and weeks before. Handsome as ever and this time I shamelessly fully check him out head to toe as I pass him head-on. His wife is a few feet ahead of him so I figure, whatever. We both have sunglasses on so I can’t quite tell if he’s looking at me or not, but I also wasn’t really looking for it as I was mostly trying to take a mental picture.
Well, curiosity starts to get the best of me. I start thinking “ok, there’s no way this guy is actually out wanting guys to notice his ass”, but then I think about how many closeted guys are still out there, and he’s so fucking hot, so I decide to do the only thing I could think to - post to Craigslist missed connections. I know, this is 2020, but I think, where else would a closeted guy go who wants to be found? So I post with just enough details, and figure, well, I’m sure nothing will come of this and this will go down as one of the more delusional things I’ve ever done.
I kid you not, next morning, in my inbox, I had a reply. He’d identified exactly what I was wearing, said he remembered me from both encounters, and indeed HE WAS LOOKING TO GET FUCKED. Asked if I’d taken the covid test so we could safely fuck and everything, and let me know when his wife would be visiting her parents with his kid. Well, my damn moral compass gets in the way, and I think there’s no way I’m getting in the middle of someone’s marriage, and if he wants to get fucked in the ass by guys he needs to come out and get divorced or reach some agreement with his wife (that’s just my perspective, of course, no judgment meant). So I told him he was a sexy fuck and I’d love to but I couldn’t, and wished him the best of luck.
Moral of the story - while the whole thing certainly was a nice stroke to the ego, it’s also damaging in that it’s made it even more impossible to not think that every guy with his ass out on display is looking to get fucked! But maybe the real moral of the story is that they actually are... either way, he’s still fun to jerk off to, imagining how eager he was to get fucked and how hungry and sexy of a bottom he was.
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