Wanting to be Trans does not Mean Choosing it.
I know this might sound outrageous, but figuring out that you’re trans can be a complex and emotional process. It is not inaccurate to say that some trans people “want to be trans” (or did what to be before they realised they were).
This does not mean that any given cis person thinking to themselves “I want to be trans” is trans, that wanting to be trans makes someone trans, but that many trans people do, at some point, “want” to be.
Because, for a questioning trans person, the alternative to being trans is not to be cis. The alternative to being trans is not to happily be one’s birth gender. It is to be a miserable, with no explanation for why they feel the way they do, whether that’s outright distress or a general but unceasing sense of unease. It’s to think of oneself as sick, or a freak, or broken, or a pervert, or one of many other awful things they might think of themselves. If nothing else, the alternative is to be alone in feeling the way they do—to not recognise that there are others like them.
For such a questioning trans person, to realise that they are trans is to stop hating themselves. (Potentially; I know it is not always so easy.)
But they still wanted to be trans. That’s what they felt, and it may linger. They may feel like an imposter—how often are trans women mocked for “wanting” to be female?—but they are not. Many trans people do want to be trans. Not all. But everyone experiences things differently, and many do. This does not mean they chose to be trans. They already were, while they wanted to be.
So when transmedicalists et al say “trans people don’t want to be trans”, or “people who want to be trans are transtrenders”, I worry about the harm this causes for trans people who are questing or still uncertain in their identity.
gracieabrams
yousharknotpass
gamechangershow
titsay
