Transcripts of a Friendship

[transcriptsofafriendship-blog]

JM: Okay. I think you are running from external pressure. I feel like you feel very pressured in all areas of your life. That pressure has influenced what you do and what you pursue, and you're running from it to try and figure out exactly what it is you want independent of outside bias.  

NF: I do feel pressure. I'm trying to figure it out, but it's like constant stress and hard work - I just wonder why is it so difficult and will it ever just be easy?!?!!? Do you have a solution jedi master 

JM: Need to stop caring about others and only focus on you. Less societal pressure, more internal. If you shift it from external to internal, it will feel less like a burden and more like growth. That being said, I feel the exact same thing. 

NF: I think it's so hard right now bc I am making that transition. I think this is because we are both super aware of it and working towards changing..and redefining our goals. I'm beginning not to care about external validation - I just want to dance & be healthy, a job I feel good in, and be around people that lift me up & make me excited about life. 

JM: Yeah, we're societally programmed to feel this pressure and constant need of approval. Must banish it and stop caring. Only care about personal growth through actions. Carol Dweck - "As a society we value natural, effortless accomplishment over achievement through effort. We endow our heroes with superhuman abilities that led them inevitably toward their greatness." People want to feel as if their success is inevitable. 

NF: Hmmm interesting. i get that. I think we are good at that though...I think we do have a passion for learning. I guess I need to just trust the process more than anything, and believe that this is all part of the master plan to make my dreams come true? No idea anymore.

JM: Yeah, find happiness in the process because the process is the growth part.  

NF: Yeah, yeah, that's what I need to do. Just enjoy the process...I also guess I actively put myself in this massive growth stage, and I've only been working in it for 8 months so I should be patient. PATIENCE & HAPPINESS IN THE PROCESS AH

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JM: Slogan- complicated till the grave

NF: COMPLICATED BISHHHHHHHHHHH. I need a drink stat.

JM: Same I haven't dont anything. I am sabotaging my future. 

NF: Tomorrow we will do stuff. I need to get it together. This weekend we shall work plot plan. It's P's bday today. Should I say anything to him? I'm thinking no

JM: Hmmmmm if you want. Maybe yes just to see what happens if you are particularly bored. Also, do you have any of these : 13 Recurring Dreams And What They Actually Mean

NF: AH I dunno. These dreams are SO random but I do get the being chased all the time, which says I'm running away from something which is weird bc I don't think I am. Do you?

JM: Interesting, I need to think about that. I will write back once I decide my answer.  

NF: Ok great looking forward to your thoughts jedi. I decided against contacting P, for many reasons: 

1. He'll think I'm saying it to create content again and have ulterior motives which I don't

2. If I don't, he'll def think about why I didn't and he'll get some further understanding that I'm over his tepid shit

3. I could be dating someone new and he's no longer on my radar

4. He never did anything or said anything on my bday. Bye annoyance. Either way, it makes the statement that he's no longer important in my life and that unless he initiates some real convo then bye. 

so yeah.

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JM: How to Escape a Tinder Nightmare. We need to continue Vine account about Tindering. 

NF: YEAH let's do it this weekend hahahahahaha. If it's for our art, I'm down....It's so funny. I can't even deal. hahahah. 

JM: Also, People can submit articles to A+ (Ashton Kutcher's viral news site) and, if accepted, get paid and published. The articles have to be viral nuisances though, but that's definitely doable whatever.  

NF: That's so awesome...I should write a letter to Mark Manson and send it to Ashton's site. Like, thanks for perpetually co-signing on tepid MFers delusional ideas of love you ASSHOLE. xx

JM: DO IT. 

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NF: Tim McHenry, Director of Public Programs and Performance- "The Buddhist notion of 'attachment' is symbolized by the Attachment Trap: In India and parts of Southeast Asia monkeys are sometimes trapped by placing food in a vessel with a hole just big enough for the monkey to reach through with one hand. Sensing the food, a passing monkey will reach in and grab it, forming a fist. What the monkey soon discovers is that it cannot pull it's clenched fist out of the hole. The monkey will stay that way, with its hand clinging tightly to the food, until someone comes along and captures it. If the monkey would just let go, it could easily free itself. This 'attachment trap' is a metaphor for a core Buddhist principle: by holding tightly to external sources of happiness, we prevent ourselves from being truly free." Brainwave 2015 - The Attachment Trap | Rubin Museum of Art Let's go to this museum in Chelsea!

JM: Attachment trap is everything! So true. Down to go to Rubin, let's go Sunday maybe

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JM: "If you've ever looked at old paintings in the museum and noticed men wearing long, pointy shoes, that's an ancient form of boasting about penis size. These long, pointy-toed shoes, called poulaines, were also meant to suggest the size of the wearer's penis - the longer point, the more virile the man." .....do you think all guys are obsessed with length....so weird, why are they so obsessed?

JM:  "Another way men did this was with their codpieces-- a flap or pouch that attached to the front of the crotch of men's trousers emphasized (or more likely, exaggerated) the genitals. They were usually extremely large and meant to suggest the equivalent of what was under it." ....Justin Bieber's Calvin Klein ads

NF: hahaahahaha - I dunno but that is so so funny. Hahahha point shoes though...wow so hilarious. They should just wear a t-shirt that states the length size. 

JM: I want to send that fact to guys and ask them why.

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NF: My mom said "be a woman first and then someones lover. Be kind to you as that's the only way you can be kind to others. I need a little more time to be single (not married) and grow up where I am in charge of my life. Everyone wonders where I am heading, but I always knew I was on a journey to give myself a chance to grow up - on my terms - in my spirit." I'm like DAMN mom it's only 8 am holy deepness. But I love it I agree. 

JM: LOVE her. Did you read the Atlantic article about how society is giving women bad advice? Society says focus on education and a job, not dating. Then there is this magical turning, they say around 27, when society says ok you're too old you need to get married. And at that age people are still figuring out their career and who they are, so it creates this really intense pressure.

NF: YEP. I FEEL IT. I just read it.....I just can't physically, mentally, spiritually give up the trajectory of my personal advancement that I have been building all my life to become a wife and mom right now....but with that said, I can absolutely be a companion to a male counterpart and have a committed relationship and grow together...I think its single vs. dating vs. married. It's so difficult to figure out the equation. I think society is uncomfortable with a single woman..even at work everyone asks me- so do you have a boyfriend...ohhhhh, you don't, ok. Like ummm no I could if I wanted, I just don't want an okay person in my life for the sake of having a relationship. I'd rather be a nomad, become my best version, and find that guy that makes my world infinitely better. On all levels...ESP in my work life...someone that can be a creative partner....ANYWAYS. I want a boyfriend.

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NF: I'm listening to German guys music on Soundcloud that I found because I stalked him and I kind of am obsessed with it...listen

JM: Word, doing the pymetrics games right now

NF: ooo tell me what pymetrics says! They are fun, I can't believe my 3 career matches ughs

JM: It says I don't have any results...It said they are working on it but don't have any at the moment. Odd.

NF: Kim K's butt is gross to me, it's like going to fall down

JM: Agree it looks manufactured, unnatural, gross etc etc but her face is hot 

NF: Everything about her is great just her body gets kinda creepy as the years go on

JM: Okay pymetrics emailed me back. They said Hedge Fund (excellent fit), Entrepreneur (great fit), Accounting (good fit). makes sense except despise accounting

NF: Nice, did they connect you with companies?

JM: Yeah, it gave me a bunch

NF: I can't believe I got HR (excellent) / sales & trading (great) / Investment Management (great) WTF WEIRD. also..... it said: expend a lot of effort to improve a low likelihood of success (100%), attentive (100%), and consistent processing speed (97%)................SURPRISING

JM: HR I don't get at alllll. I can see you in S&T. I got: go above and beyond to achieve desired results (100%), trusting (99%), and prefer delayed rewards (98%). The results are kind of confusing because I agree with the first one, despite my constant fight against pervasive laziness, but I never considered trust to be one of my top traits before, and I guess I do prefer to delay rewards just because I am hoping for rewards later....

NF: Wow wow so interesting. I can see trust as a top trait of yours - you are def not someone who is deceitful. Awwww cute. I love your results. 

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JM: I am tepid AF

NF: Yeah you are, but I think you should friend request him tonight bc here's why: he just accepted my request so you saw on FB that we became friends so you casually also friended him. If you do it next week, it shows that you like actively sought out to friend him instead of just a consequence of our friendship announcement today. 

JM: HAHA oops caps ruining my life

NF: I kinda like the caps

JM: Same, it's kinda artistic. My artistic license may be: ONLY WRITE IN CAPS BECAUSE EVERY WORD MATTERS AND SHOULD BE AMPLIFIED- STYLISTIC AMPLIFICATIONS

NF: I'm adding this to our transcript

JM: WORD

[transcriptsofafriendship-blog]

JM: I'm obsessed with our transcribing

NF: Good, it shows that you are dedicated to the cause - which is a positive. It made me follow suit, so your obsession worked! 

JM: Jon Stewart was so hot

NF: AWWW JStew lil cutie. I wanna post that pic of him in soccer uniform on imostlywearblack. We must go see him, we must we must....." Capricorn: Sexually Mars in Aries means single people are going to be far more likely to hook up with someone new than usual." OOOOOOOOO...

JM: Ideal post. Hahaha i know but then this: “Venus will be moving into your fourth house of home and family, where she’ll stay for around four weeks. This marks the start of a relatively quiet time when you’re far more likely to be found happily ensconced at home than out on the town." Directly contradict each other 

NF: maybe it means ensconced at home bc you have a lil cutie and you dont feel the need to go out as much........

JM: hahaha maybeee. This came up on my email from Product Hunt-  http://www.lessthanone.com.  It says I have 2.95 soulmates. I hope I don't pick the 0.95 one

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NF: Do we have anything else to close out before merc is over? 

JM: Except for creating a pre-curated Tinder, nah. 

NF: Haha- like a biased digital pre-arranged marriage, wow. Also.....Richard still hasn't logged on, and still 4,000 miles away. Richard might be.... dare I say .... gone? 

JM: I feel like he may be dead. The kidnappers took his phone, went on Tinder to lure other kidnapped suspects. Then his phone died and he and the other suspects are now being held for ransom. Because he is high profile and the media does not want to mess up the ransom negotiations, it has been kept under the radar. However, as a member of Tinder, you have this precious information and actually know what's going on. Would it make sense to ask him if this theory is correct...... 

NF: hahah. yes. brilliant. this is exactly what happened. I will wait til after mercury retrograde to inquire - the weirdness surrounding it is too much right now.

[transcriptsofafriendship-blog]

Revelation

JM: This article is interesting.... maybe I should go completely sober.

NF: Ewan <3

JM: So I've been thinking about our conversation this morning and I feel like we're looking at it from the wrong perspective. Instead of focusing on different career paths, the self discovery should be things that make you happy and things that don't make you happy. 

Look at every opportunity across industry or position or whatever in that light. Because it's not really specific industries. It's just types of things you're interested in and the way you want to interact with them. I think the issue with sales is not only quota but also the lack of creation, which is why agency probably makes more sense. But agency could get annoying if you don't like the types of brands you work for etc. etc. I feel like if we just create a list of likes/dislikes for both of us, and then analyze every opportunity in that lens then it will provide insight into everything rather than feeling like something is wrong or always discontent. 

NF: Love it. Let's do it. I really love that idea! It kind of draws in with the relationship thing of dating- do you know what you want. Find what matters and look for that. We really should write a book. That's all encompassing for people like us...who is most people.