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almost home

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@transphobe-euthanization
you know that uncomfortable feeling where every masculine person that was afab in mainstream media, HAS to absolutely have a "oh I LOVE feminity actually omg I am such a woman hippity-dee do I love womanhood dw I'm not ONLY masculine I'm not a MAN and if I wanted to be a man that was just my insecurity at being a woman because I am a WOMAN and wanting to be a man is BAD because IM NOT and my entire character arc will be about realising how much of a woman I really am, how wrong i was to be masculine and the story will end with me growing out my hair and wearing more feminine clothing, this will be unilaterally treated as a good thing by the narrative"
it feels so good to have a word for it.
this is transandrophobia.
I think that as a community there would be a lot less infighting if we all accepted that cis people see us as transgender first, and whatever gender we identify as second. (if at all) That out transness, to cis society, puts us in an entirely different class of people. We are all so othered from our cis counterparts that we cannot meaningfully operate in the world as cis men and cis women do.
and it's maddening and invalidating and even dysphoria inducing but it is the truth. and only by accepting this truth can we free ourselves and come together as one unified community.
This is very obvious if ever you’ve helped someone gain knowledge about transness from their cis position where they weren’t necessarily bigoted.
I use my dad as an example a lot, but it’s because he’s a good one lol
He would call trans people just “a trans”. And when he wanted to be more specific he always floundered around about it. “A trans… uh… ma- or wait… a trans wom- er… a trans who was x gender but is now y gender.”
It’s weird from the perspective of a trans person, because like… you’ve described they transitioned from one to the other. There’s probably an obvious one of those things they would want to be called. But, then again, if you don’t know how these terms work, is this about what the person wants to be called or about how they transitioned? MTF and FTM put what the person transitioned away from first, and so maybe that’s the one that’s important to highlight when you call someone a trans [whatever gender].
Even people who aren’t necessarily vehemently bigoted, just have absorbed things they’re even actively working on unlearning, will tend to, in the beginning of the process at least, still just see us as “trans”, and not necessarily register what way to gender us.
Most people aren't using this term in a hostile way, but it's still important to consider the implications of our language.
let's get basic opinions out of the way:
forcefem is a kink
forcefem is morally neutral
kink is not activism
pedophiles have no place in lgbtq+ community or any community with minors in it
children cannot consent
pedophiles are not oppressed
(updated) thoughts on the whole suggestrogen defending pedophiles thing
TL;DR: The things she has said on pedophilia is beyond simply discussing the non-existence of thoughtcrimes or advocating for more compassionate, humanizing approach to people who experience potentially harmful kinds of attraction, and goes into territory I find genuinely concerning. That being said, it is vital that we do NOT let this poison us against sex positivity, being reasonably supportive of paraphiles, and trying to have a nuanced and compassionate discussion on child abuse and people who are pedophiles that helps defuse this incredibly powerful cultural moral-panic bomb. I include a few resources for non-punitive, humanizing justice for people who have abused others at the very end of this post.
Putting this under a read more so I can ramble as much as I feel is needed (and boy did I). Obvious major trigger warning for extensive discussion of pedophilia and child sexual abuse, although no specific details on any acts of abuse themselves; there is one reference to zoophilia which links to a post that does mention an actual act of it.
This post has been updated to more accurately reflect the issues at hand, and the terminology used to discuss them.
Rather than distinctly male or female, the human brain is much more like the heart, kidneys and lungs – basically the same no matter the sex of the body it's in.
rb to make a biological essentialist mad <3
“This collapse is a telltale sign of a problem known as publication bias. Small, early studies which found a significant sex difference were likelier to get published than research finding no male-female brain difference.”
the notes on this are toxic - to help clear up any misunderstanding, here’s the actual science paper:
With the explosion of neuroimaging, differences between male and female brains have been exhaustively analyzed. Here we synthesize three dec
in short: brains are brains
Transphobes can die mad 🤷🏻
A closer look because these ladies deserve to be appreciated 💓
it's actually so funny that all you need to do as a female athlete to be immediately disqualified is being good, because everyone knows women suck ass at everything and if a woman is good at something that's unnatural. hashtag feminism hashtag protect women.
official linguistics post
uterus mysticism is weird to me, besides all the bioessentialism stuff, because like. Dude it’s just an organ. Imagine if we did this to the gallbladder or kidneys.
Divine feminine is stored in the appendix actually. appendicitis is just the Virgin Mary trying to break through to you. Never get your appendix removed its mother Mary speaking to you.
If you see the quote "I refuse to share my body with a man who wouldn't defend it politically" or any variation of it floating around the internet — it was Kat Blaque who originally said it and she would really appreciate it if people gave her proper credit for it but it's gone viral on a lot of different platforms and most of the people sharing it don't know it's from her or choose not to credit her on purpose.
Like I just know terfs are going to be parroting it pretending it wasn't said by a black trans woman about herself & her life.
Words cannot express how insidious these types of posts are, and how distressing it is to see them become so commonplace. I’ve seen variations of this exact joke at least a hundred times on insta, all with hundreds of likes and shares. I cannot emphasize enough how these types of posts are the exact same as those ai generated videos of angry snap recipients, or made up stories about crazy feminists. This joke is just one of many targeted attempts to do four things: Normalize ableism and make people wary of suicidal people, Further the stereotype of queer people being weak and unstable, further the even more specific stereotype of the “cringe, weak” transmasc or nonbinary person with a weird name, and ultimately divide the community. The kind of things described in this post did happen, but nowhere near as frequently as is described, and mostly during the national mental health crisis of the pandemic. This is cherry picked propaganda, meant to make people say “I’m not like them. I’m normal, I’m strong, i fit in. I can’t be associated with this group.” All in all, as a community we have to be more vigilant against these types of blatant attempts at sowing discord and crush them at inception.
I think we need to talk about a specific type of exorsexism, where someone's personhood and gender are reduced to pronouns.
I'm talking about referring to people as "a they/them", "a they", "a he/they".
It's something that's not typically done to people who prefer (or are assumed to prefer) a single normative pronoun set. You can actually encounter a sentence that includes "he/theys" and "trans women" next to each other like this:
I don't know how to name this phenomenon yet, but I think it's fucked up.
Would really appreciate if this post got the same amount of attention as the posts I put in the transandrophobia tag, because it isn't less important.
soooo apparently "tme" means having a vagina now. This makes complete and total sense. Very useful framework./sarc
Also the presumption that everyone with a penis is "tma" and all "tmas" have penises is wild. Do tme/tma users not know bottom surgery exists 😭😭 or do trans women become "tme" the second they get bottom surgery. This is why I hate these fuckass terms. Like why not just say "trans women" and "non trans women" if that's what you mean not "tme/tma" and "having a penis/vagina"
edit: oop is a trans woman and presumably uses she/her. respect that. also terfs fuck off im genderfluid and proud
"But at least if you're TME, you're more likely to be believed"
record scratch sound effect
what
this is just blatant rape culture abuse apologia 101. like this is an ACTUAL MRA talking point, that "females are believed when they're assaulted", just fucking wrapped up in a slightly less offensive sounding bow. what the fuck
If you’ve ever had the privilege of calling a trans person by their chosen name for their first time in real life it will genuinely change your life and I’m being so serious.
Had a friend (let’s call her Maddie) who didn’t exactly try to pass, whose parents weren’t supportive, and didn’t really have other irl friends. Claimed to “not care about her name or pronouns, so I should just call her by her ‘real name’ (birth name). And I did. For a long time, I did, because she never told me she used anything else. One day she asked for my insta and I added her, and I noticed her displayname on there was “Maddie”. I asked her about it, and she said it was just a “silly online name”.
Later that day we went to the movies to watch that new Captain America film. I cringed the whole way through, while she waffled on in my ear about “comic-accuracy” (I love her, but she’s a nerd.)
‘Maddie, I’d love to hear this after it’s over but please let me listen to the dialogue.’
She looked like she was about to cry, and I thought I’d made her sad by essentially telling her to shut up, but then she smiled and I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much joy come out of a single person from such a simple thing to say.
Later I dragged her to the makeup store and essentially role-played as a straight couple with an apathetic boyfriend so she could pretend not to want to be there while I explained what everything did, dropping the man voice I’d been trying to hold in public for years just to yap about different lipstick shades like a valley girl.
And I went up to the register with her, and she was practically shaking when she handed one stick of eyeliner to the woman behind the register and she commented on how nice it was for “him” to be buying me something.
And we played it off, until we walked out the store and made a dash for the family-bathroom where I did her eyeliner while she cried and giggled and took a million pictures of herself and wiped it off and tried to do it herself over and over until it looked decent and then she hugged me so hard I nearly cracked a rib.
I can’t really explain what that afternoon meant to either of us. She and I drifted apart after a few months because meeting up became really hard, but still I remember that day like it was yesterday. I think I’ll remember it forever.
Spread trans joy. It’s the purest thing in the world.
Spread trans joy. It’s the purest thing in the world.
This will never not be funny to me.
Peer reviewed tags by @dark-whimsy