herald of stop being shitty to elves

or i'll punch you in the kidney. mirae and maive lavellan. [[ indie inquisitor rp blog. ]]

[jumpforjo]

Dorian in 2A

i love him

more texts for you bitches

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

[constileslation-deactivated2021]

How will your story go?

[rpmemes-galore]

Reba McEntire   {Sentence Starters}

“Now who’s really the fool?”

“I wish you didn’t have to leave.”

“You could tell me you love me.”

“I don’t want to be a one night stand.”

“I can’t see anyone with me but you.”

“How long until you just can’t go on?”

“I might be heading for a breakdown.”

“Don’t look at me like I let you down…”

“I’ve had enough. I don’t want you around.”

“I’ve sacrificed more than you’ll ever lose.”

“Do my heart a favor, take your love away.”

“I can’t have you, but I never will forget you.”

“You’re lucky if you find just one good friend.”

“Well, I’d like to… but I don’t know if it’s right.”

“It’s the right time of the night for making love.”

“Thank you for the offer, but I can’t let you stay.”

“Last time I gave my heart so sweetly, it broke.”

“I need heaven’s help to make it through the day.”

“Darling, could I just have one moment with you?”

“If I had to say what love feels like… I’d say ‘you’.”

“Well, I can’t make it through this world by myself.”

“Aren’t you tired of looking for love you never find?”

“Sometimes you hurt me so bad, I just want to die.”

“You don’t remember me… Oh, but I remember you.”

“But, before you leave, there’s something you should know…”

“Sometimes you treat me so cruel, I don’t think I can take it.”

“Do you think I’m such a fool to believe everything you say is true?”

“You tell me that you’re always gonna love me… but that’s what he said.”

“Are you looking for someone to care for you? Or just someone to love you tonight?”

“Oh, I know it’s hard for you to say it’s over… Well, it’s twice as hard for me to let you go.”

[nipuni]

Team Inquisition! You must gather your party before venturing forth 

going to update my store with these and more soon!

[sordidsensoryarchives]

date a girl that can beat the shit out of you.

[jumpforjo]

it’s been too long since I drew my sweet son

[trash-lavellan-blog]

closed starter || @princeros

The Inquisition was, to Mirae’s disappointment but not surprise, absolutely saturated with shems. She hadn’t even been able to say they were shems out loud in ages, having been lectured now by Solas, Sera, Cullen, and the final straw: Josie. ‘It just doesn’t look right for the Inquisitor to use such... divisive language. Remember, you are not just for the elves anymore.’ It was bullshit.

Naturally, when Yuuri arrived, she was instantly drawn to him, going out of her way to introduce herself and bring him into the inner circle (and subsequently Viktor- it wasn’t really possible to have one without the other). Not only was he another elf- he was another First- another person that understood. 

He hadn’t been easy to get through to- fairly reserved, but Mirae made a mission out of it and slowly succeeded, tempting him with long talks about elvhen history and finding a way to make home recipes. Sometimes they even managed to train together, having shared at least similar upbringing in magic, even if they were from different clans. 

“Yuuuuuuri~” She called, making her way across Skyhold’s courtyard towards the other mage, waving cheerily. This was her favorite time to see him- just after a war meeting surrounded by people who simply didn’t get her way of thinking. “You’ll never believe what Cullen said in the meeting today- he’s so ridiculous. Templars are so weird, he just doesn’t know what to do since I free the mages.” Viktor was convinced that the Commander was stiff around her with a crush, Mirae believed he simply didn’t know what to with an elf and mage that wasn’t afraid of furthering her people. “Anything interesting happen to you today? I need a distraction.” 

[trash-lavellan-blog]

"If you're trying to flirt with me, you may want to try again."

first meeting starters || accepting! || @ofoathsandredemption

[text: Mirae] uh. i asked for the homework? what kind of shit are you into, Dorian?[text: Maive] :0[text: Maive] I don’t think... that was for this chat. [text: Mirae] Why not? [text: Maive] Just... have a feeling. that it was a wrong text. Right, Dorian?[text: Mirae] >>

[trash-lavellan-blog]

First-Meeting Sentence Starters

Several different scenarios that can be combined or modified for your pleasure:

"Uh, hi there."

"I was here first. Go to the back of the line!"

"Excuse me, is there any way you could let me go before you? I'm in a hurry."

"Service here is TERRIBLE today!"

"Is this seat taken?"

"Do you have a moment to talk?"

"Hi, listen, there's someone following me, and I'm paranoid so can you talk to me for a few minutes to make it look like I'm not alone?"

"Here, take this and run with me. I'll explain later!"

"Do you have some cash? This vending machine just ate the last of mine..."

"Hey, were you going to use this machine next? It gave me a free bag of chips, and I don't need to eat that many!"

"Do you work here?"

"Look, I'm not an employee, but the ____ are right over there."

"Hey, is this yours? It was by your feet."

"Are you from ____ or ____?"

"Hello, ____."

"I swear I've seen you on TV."

"Yes, I'm ____, and I can take a picture with you if you want."

"Oh my gosh, can I pet your dog?!"

"Sorry, there was a hair hanging off of your sleeve, and it was bothering me."

"Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to walk into you!"

"Wait a minute! I think they mixed up our orders."

"Ugh, this isn't my food. Did anyone here order a ____?"

"You look so cold. Do you want to borrow my jacket?"

"H-Hey, I'm freezing. Is there any way I can s-stand close to you and maybe get warmer?"

"You poor thing, you look like you're cooking! Here, take a bottle of water."

"It's so hot I think I might pass out. Can you help me?"

"Are you okay?"

"Oh, good, you're awake. What happened to you?"

"Where am I?"

"Get in! You're in danger!"

"Please, let me ride with you. There's someone after me!"

"Grab the spare helmet and jump on."

"Are you playing ____?"

"Hey, do you want to trade friend codes?"

"Hi, my date just stood me up, so now I have a free ticket."

"I'd love to take that free spot as long as you don't mind sitting next to me."

"Have you seen a lost child around here?"

"I found this child, and by the look on your face, I think they're yours."

"That coat isn't real fur, is it?"

"If you can't tell the difference between real animal pelt and fake, you shouldn't be harassing people on the street."

"Are we locked in here?"

"Can I use your phone?"

"Here, take my phone. No questions asked."

"What's cookin' good lookin'?"

"If you're trying to flirt with me, you may want to try again."

[splattermemes-deactivated202007]

“Fuck” Sentence Starters

Angry

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“Fuck this.”

“Get the fuck out of here.”

“Who the fuck are you?”

“Fuck that!”

“I fucking hate him/her/them/you.”

“Fuck. FUCK. FUUUUCK!”

“Shut the fuck up.“

“Get your fucking act together.”

“Keep your shitty nose out of my fucking business.”

“Leave me alone, or I’ll fuck you up.”

“Get your fucking hands off of me!”

“Stay the fuck away from me.”

“Who stole my fucking shit?!”

“Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?”

“You wanna fucking go, punk?”

“Get the fuck over it.”

“Where the fuck have you been?”

“What the fuck do you want from me?”

Sad

“Fuck life.” 

“No, I’m not fucking over it.”

“Why the fuck did he/she/they have to go and die?”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do now?”

“Why did things have to go so fucking wrong?”

“I’m gonna eat fifty fucking cartons of ice cream and then pass out and die like a warrior.”

“Try to fucking stop me from leaving my room. It’s not gonna happen.”

“The love of my life just decided that I was worth fucking nothing.”

“I fucking miss him/her/them.”

“Who the fuck cares?”

“All of this fucking shit was for nothing.”

“I fucked up my own life.”

“I can’t believe I did this fucking shit all over again.”

Insults

“Fuck you!”

“I fucked your mom last night.” 

“You’re a fucking asshole.”

“You just think you’re fucking hilarious, don’t you?” 

“Who the fuck died and made you king/queen/ruler?” 

“Go to fucking hell, you piece of shit!”

“Go fuck yourself.”

“Motherfucker!”

“Wow, that’s fucking small.”

“Get the fuck over yourself.”

Sexy

“Fuck me.”

“I don’t ‘make love’, I fuck.”

“I’d fuck you all night long.”

“You look like a fucking dog in heat.”

“You look so fucking hot right now.”

“Fuck–faster~”

“FUCK, I’m gonna come!”

“I’ll fuck you right here, right now.”

“Babe, fuck–not here.”

“You’re one cocky motherfucker. Let’s go back to my place.”

“I want to bend you over and fuck you until you can’t walk.”

“I want you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

“F-fuck–please–~”

“I’d let you fuck me any day.”

“You better use a fucking condom.”

“Tell me what you want me to fucking do to you.”

“Do you want me to fuck you while everyone’s watching?”

“Fuck, it’s big.”

“Let’s make a fucking baby.”

Situations

“Give me a break. I’m in the fucking hospital.”

“How are YOU mad at ME when I’m the one who’s in FUCKING JAIL?”

“Help me set this fucking thing on fire.”

“I’m gonna need a fucking lawyer.”

“This is all YOUR fault, you dumb fuck.”

“It’s not MY fault we’re in fucking handcuffs.”

“Fuck, I’m so wasted.”

“What the fuck did we do last night?”

“Where the fuck am I?”

“Fuck. SHIT. There goes my car.”

“Wait–fuck. Isn’t that my house?”

“Fuck it. Might as well have fun, if we’re going to get caught.”

“Why the fuck do you have gasoline?”

“Where the fuck did that baby come from?!”

“It’s not a party until someone almost fucking dies.”

“FUCK, you scared the shit out of me!”

[sunnybot]

assflash newshole

[trash-lavellan-blog]

hey everyone!! I’m back for the summer and I’ve added Mirae’s brother as a muse :0 feel free to hit up my IMs or messages if you’d like to play with either of them <3 

[ofoathsandredemption-blog]

Quite in the Library (closed)

@trash-lavellan

Normally Dorian paid little mind to the library goers. Unless help was requested, it wasn’t his job to mind- not to mention the fact that he didn’t have the time. But he did, in fact, noticed the elf walk in. There wasn’t really anything too off putting, he was just as average as anyone Dorian had ever seen- it was open to the public, after all. His gaze was shifty, back hunched over in a- dare Dorian say- absolutely atrocious attempt at nonchalant. He seemed to be… Searching for someone? Something? Dorian frowned, watching the man sneak in between the large shelves, looking between the small cracks above the books before darting around the next corner. The librarian rolled his eyes, quietly following the stranger through his adventures. He didn’t seem to be actually interested in what was on the shelves- at one point he began pulling the damned books out, taking a glance at the title before simply… Dropping one to the floor and moving onto the next.

Dorian could feel a headache coming on.

A certain book finally piqued his interest, the elf actually taking the time to flip this one open and examine a few pages. Dorian watched from his hiding spot behind the corner of the shelf as the stranger dug into his pocket, pulling out a…. Lighter?!?! Instinct kicked in as he jumped, tackling the man to the ground with a flare of his temper and little regard for safety.

“And what in the Makers fucking name do you think you’re doing?!?”

[trash-lavellan-blog]

@ofoathsandredemption

Mirae had always been a bookish type- and as such she never went for normal people that hung out at normal places. Maive always had to skulk around various academic buildings (including a Professor’s office once!). So now here he was, having to track some asshole down in a library since Mirae refused to tell him about him. God, he had to do everything himself. 

He didn’t even notice the librarian trailing behind him as he set about making a spectacle. The guy sounded like a tightass- it was only a matter of attracting him. 

Once he was in the ancient elvhen area- sounded like his thing from what he’d read on Mirae’s texts- he began pulling the droll books from the shelves, wrinkling his nose at the most boring sounding titles before dropping the damned things to the ground with a loud clap. He was at least careful to only drop the sturdier ones and made sure they landed closed. Since the man hadn’t appeared- it called for drastic measures. The lighter was of course, empty, Maive wasn’t a vandal. Right now, at least. But the noise was likely to attract a library with a giant staff up his ass- right?

Well, it would except that Maive was now on the ground. Rather forcibly. 

“Stuck up asshole hunting?” Maive answered before thinking, unscrewing eyes he hadn’t realized had shut to look at his assailant. His assailant was fucking gorgeous. Shit. 

“The lighter is empty! I swear! Look!” Maive fumbled with the little device for a moment, flicking it and watch the sparks light into a small flame. Well shit. He thought it was empty. “Oh! Yikes. Great save, Mr....?” It probably wasn’t the smoothest way of getting the name of the handsome stranger that tackled him to ground’s name but it would do. 

He managed his best easy smirk. “Sorry about that. By the way.” 

[imgayjokes]

[dreadhalla]

bonus:

[get-hunkedon-blog]

happy munday I cut my hair and got a lip ring with the only motivation of looking gayer