𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐞 : john logan x fem!reader
𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐤 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 : smut, its all smut, implied squirting, teasing, f! fingering, teasing, slapping. probably more. established relationship.
𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐥𝐮𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 : you ask Logan for a very specific thing- and neither of you expected for him to like it so much.
𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐧 𝐢𝐜𝐞 : 2.7k words
𝐛𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐲’𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫 : so it started out as a Drabble, turned into this. enjoy I hope this turns all of you on and it turns into a masturbation session <33 @enchanthings [they deleted their blog :( ]
It was a normal, intimate night between the two of you. You rocking rhythmically on his lap while his hands gripped tightly beneath your jeans, fingers pressing into your ass hard enough that it would 200% leave a mark in the morning.
He slipped out of your pants to drag up your shirt slowly, hissing appreciatively through his teeth at your bra choice, " jesus, it's like you're tryin' to kill me."
You giggle breathlessly against his lips, leaning back to tease him, " dunno what you mean baby," your finger slips coyly past your unbuttoned waistband and into the lace band of your thong, the pretty blue peaks out behind the denim, just enough for Logan to bite his lip and glance up at you from below his lashes.
"yea?" He grips your wrist and hooks the elastic under his thumb, snapping it against your abdomen- laughing when you jolt and moan under your breath, "y'sure you have no idea what I mean?"
you shake your head and slink off his lap, "not a clue." you planted your knees onto the carpet and lay your cheek against his thigh, pushing your elbows together and boosting your tits up, presenting a shameful image for him to admire.
Logan threads his hands through your hair, "what d'ya want pretty? hmm?" he strokes your face, pushing the odd strand away from your eyes and tucking it behind your ear.
you shuffle a little beneath him, biting your lip.
Logan grins down at you, "you thinking about something baby?" you nod your head slowly, "you can tell me. it's just us here."
"wantyoutoslapme" you mumble, your fingers playing with the zipper of his fly, barely noticing the obvious tent brushing against your nose- more occupied with the sudden dryness of your throat and the burning of your cheeks.
Logan tilts his head, squinting at you, "might need you to enunciate a little darling." his index finger taps your pouted lips, pretending to not enjoy your embarrassment, he definitely didn't feel his head swim at the way your chest heaved with the weight of his stare and he swears that the sight of your pressing your thighs together didn't make his dick even harder than it was.
You glare at him, but there wasn't any heat behind it, "I said it clearly enough."
"I dont think you did baby," He leans down to peck your mouth, holding himself back from licking into your mouth and devouring that sweet, peachy taste of your lipgloss.
you whine and almost bury your head into the crook of where his thigh meets his pelvis, ignoring how he stifles a laugh, eventually you sigh. What did your mother always say? closed mouths dont get fed.
You don't really want to be thinking about your mum right now, but she always had words of wisdom that were multi-faceted.
"I want you to..." you blink up at him, "slap me."
Logan pauses above you, the hand that was playing with the ends of your hair and running along your shoulder froze.
"what?"
"see I knew you'd do that-" You huff, noncommittally shrugging your shoulders "it's fine, take off your pants, I'm more than happy-"
Your fingers are held in place with his, "let a guy buffer for a bit baby. It's not everyday your girlfriend asks you to slap her."
"yea but not in like a weird way" you justify, "in like a kinky way. you don't need to full palm bitch slap me, just like. a little one."
"a little one?"
"yea, try it"
"now?"
"babe start acting your IQ and slap me"
Logan huffs, and against every single nerve in his body, against his rational judgement, against his brothers parenting and beatings into his brain that under no circumstances do you ever lay your hand on a woman, jackass.
"okay..." he brings his hand up and pulls back very slightly.
well to him it was.
but you jerked back as you watched him bring his hand out, further and further like a rubber band and you weren't prepared to feel snap against your face.
"woah!" you grab his wrist and place it, maybe 4 inches away from your cheek, "the fuck you winding up for?"
"I'm not" he jumps, "babe I dont want to hurt you, I dunno how I feel about hitting you."
you cock your head at him, "I get that, but you're not hurting me, its more like.." you chew your lip racking your brain for an example, "oh."
you slap his thigh.
Logan hesitates, staring at the spot that you slapped, "huh..." he nods slowly. It wasn't so much of a slap than a firm pat against his skin, sure his muscles tingled a little beneath his jeans, but the area warmed just as quickly. maybe he could see the appeal.
you rush to interrupt his thoughts, "sorry- that probably was so random. and I won't force you to do anything you dont want to, I'm more than happy with what we do right now plus we can find other things."
"no..."
"no?"
"no- I mean yes- no." He shakes his head and wraps his hands around your shoulders, "I'll slap you."
What a weird sentence, and whats weirder is that your panties flooded almost instantly.
"yea?"
"yea ill slap you."
"ok, but don't like warn me before, it's the surprise that-"
you swallow the rest of your words with a gasp, your cheek burned deliciously and Logan's hand hovered by the area in question. Slowly you returned back to your position, your breathing stutters and fingers quake as red, hot pleasure burns through your body.
"like that?" Logan's cocky smirk makes you want to simultaneously stick your fingers down his throat and beg him to fuck the living daylights out of you.
"yea, just like that. do it again. m'dont care that it hurts"
He does it again, gaining confidence- instead of hovering and waiting for your approval his hand forms a choker over your neck, his fingers bracing against your jaw, "pretty baby doesn't care that it hurts huh? Just wants me to slap her" He brushes his knuckle against your face, "So fucking gorgeous, fuck, you wouldn't think that you're such a filthy girl from your face darling."
You whimper, barely noticing that your hand had started to slip under your panties and rub slow circles over your clit.
"turns y'on? never would've thought that you're into this, not in my wildest dreams." Logans eyes flutter from your face, where moans slip from your puckered lips to your fingers that begin to quicken.
He tsks, watching your hips roll into your palm, "naughty girl," He slaps the other cheek. Not letting you register the tingles blooming through your face before he manhandles you onto the bed.
You laugh, sitting up onto your shoulders as Logan kneels between your legs, dragging his arms backwards to slide off his t-shirt, gripping the neckline and throwing the article somewhere onto his floor.
He lowers himself, staring up at you predatorily, his lips dragging up from your stomach, biting the skin until you fall back with an appreciative hum- head bouncing on the soft pillow beneath you. He lifts again, one palm pressed to where his lips were teasing you, the other caressed your neck, pushing your hair away.
"this," he murmurs lowly, pointer finger ghosting from your throat down to your cleavage and circling your nipple through the flimsy fabric. The bud hardened and you arched into his touch- gasping softly, "off." he flicks the puckered nub.
You struggle to contort your arms to your clasp, shoulders straining against the stretch.
Eventually it falls limp and you graciously throw it in the general direction of where his shirt was carelessly thrown on the floor.
Logan hums from above you, "hmmm, this is the perfect view, in fact.." he trails off, grabbing your jeans and tugging them harshly down your legs, contributing to the pile on the other side of the room. You moan when he presses a finger against the ruined fabric of your panties, "there she is..my pretty girl."
You blush and attempt, albeit pathetically, to whine against his arms placing your legs wide apart, bending at the knee so he can slot comfortably between them, still rubbing and teasing you over the lace of your underwear.
The protests die on your tongue when he pulls the barrier to the side and delivers another slap, this time to your pussy, which clenches hopelessly around nothing. Logan brings his hand up in awe, fingers glistening under the yellow glow of his lamp.
"oh my god" he glances at you, grinning when he sees you nearly at the point of tears, "you are so into this. The whole tough guy, dominant thing really does it for ya?"
You shield your face from his teasing, "I didn't fucking know asshole," you peak at him between your fingers, "and don't act like you dont love this." you angle your knee to grind into his bulge.
"you play dirty, baby," he punches out, gripping your knee in place while he taps against the hand covering your mouth.
You lower your palm hesitantly and startle against his fingers that bury themselves into your mouth, the taste of your arousal bursts over your tongue, and you delicately hold his wrist, keeping the two digits firmly in place as you coat them with a thick layer of your saliva.
he hisses, watching you intently make a show out of sucking his fingers, tongue swirling and weaving in between the knuckles. Logan chuckles to himself when you try to force more into your throat, barely gagging when your swollen lips meet the webbing of his hand.
"what's got you so worked up pretty?" you roll your eyes and discreetly shift your hips towards him- the answer is pretty obvious, but Logan decides to toy with you a little bit more.
Maybe he really is loving this whole dominant thing.
He takes his fingers gently from your mouth, skimming them down your body and into your underwear.
"fuck! Logan," Your hand shoots down to grip his forearm, eyes rolling back and fluttering shut when he rolls your clit between his soaked fingers.
"nuh uh baby," He breathes against your lips, arm bracketing over your head to hold himself up, "look at me. wanna see your gorgeous eyes." his fingers drum against your temple until you meet his gaze.
You jump forward and bite his lip, not hard enough to hurt, but firm enough to drag him closer to you while free hand snakes under his arm, digging your nails into his back.
Logan swears against your mouth, "or you could do that." You laugh at his surprise, but it turns into a guttural moan when he delves into your face, mouth devouring yours whilst his tongue strokes and licks any inch of you he can reach.
"please" you whisper when you break apart for air, breathing into each others mouths, "Logan, you gotta do something- pleaseeee," you whine and buck your hips when his fingers stop circling your clit and tease your hole.
"patience baby," He snickers, thoroughly enjoying watching you suffer.
"fuck you, and fuck your patience." you grit out, squeezing your eyes shut when he barely breaches you with the tips of his digits, "fuck you more than your patience, ohmygod, god I'm going to kill you logan. As soon as we're done fucking, and we fuck a little bit more, I'm breaking up with you. How humiliating is this, I'm so wet baby- please come on."
Logan nods along, almost condescendingly to your babbles, eyes widening in the right places and pouting his lips at the better ones. But when your voice breaks into that breathy whine, his resolve shatters along with it and he can't help but swallow the gasp you let out when he sinks in, knuckles deep.
"fuckkk" you both say in unison, granted yours is more muffled because you've arched so far back that your mouth is in the pillow, but Logan compensates, his voice is significantly deeper than when you started and the obscenity is breathed against your sternum- where his mouth is peppering kisses whilst watching your chest bounce with each hard thrust of his wrist.
Your moans are choppy and sound more like sobs when Logan sits up onto his haunches, staring at where his fingers disappear inside of you, a wet trail left along them every time he pulls back.
"You're doing so well baby," he bites his lip, angling the hell of his palm into your clit, so with each push the bundle of nerves is bumped with the calloused skin, "look at you, doing so well f'me." he leans down briefly to kiss your pussy, but stays longer when he feels how wet you are against his lips.
"Logan," you whimper warningly, both hands scratching his scalp as you fight against the momentum to trap his head between your thighs, "Logan m'gonna cum if you do that."
He glances up at you, almost as if he forgot you were present whilst he got lost in your pussy, the lower half of his body now bent along and off the bed- it seems he took you with him, your knees now hooked onto his shoulders.
"I mean I'm not complaining," He shrugs, huffing in amusement when you roll your eyes, which widen comically when one of the hands that was wrapped around your thigh and rested on your hip came down in a harsh smack.
You let out a broken moan when his head dips again, this time working in tandem with his fingers. The sounds are lewd and you feel inexplicably sorry for whatever poor soul was getting the free show- but it was overshadowed by the overwhelming amount of pleasure that spiked through your entire body.
Logan slurped and nipped at your pussy, tongue lavishly stimulating your clit with harsh sucks that ended in debauched pops, making your head spin and cheeks flush.
"what were you saying pretty?" he mumbled against you, removing his mouth to kiss the inside of your thigh. You whimpered in response, barely able to bring your head up to meet his gaze, "what?"
"that," His fingers sped up and mouth parted when you jolted, gripping your breasts whilst gaping at him, " 's soon as we're done fucking, and we fuck a little bit more,' " his voice is pitched slightly higher, mimicking you, breaking at bits when he leans down to spit on down onto your hole where his fingers disappear, "what was the end bit? I cant seem to remember."
His fingers slow, much to your dismay, as he waits for your response,
"No! nono, baby," you words are slurred as you blindly reach for his wrist, "baby," you coo at him, stroking his hair, "I don't even remember, you know what they say, bitches be crazy. all that jazz."
He snorts at you, "really?"
"yea, but I'm bitches. please make me cum."
"You're not a bitch pretty," He kisses your cheek.
"John," You grind your hips down into his fingers, "Can we talk about the feminist meaning of the phrase and the wider effect on society. after you make me cum."
"Oh so I'm John now?" He pecks your hip, curling his fingers slowly.
"No," You stroke his face and whisper, "Logan."
He hums happily, increasing the pace slightly whilst crowding over you with his body, "And?"
Your chests brush together as you grind out a deep groan, hands limply hung from his shoulders.
You hook your ankles over his hips, welcoming him into your space, "Baby," You murmur, noses brushing together. Logan speeds up, plunging fast inside of you, the promiscuous sound of your wetness makes you arch your back.
"Anything else?" He prompts, breath fanning over your neck- you moan and bury your finger in your hair,
"F-fuck" You legs quiver around his torso, "I don't fucking know, daddy? sir?"
Logan nips at your throat, "Not what I was looking for, but I'll take it." He takes a nipple into his mouth, sucking harshly and rolling it between his teeth.
"Shit," Your hands fly to cradle his face against your breast, "cumming, yes Logan, don't stop" You sob into his hair, body convulsing against his.
A silent scream parts your mouth as wetness gushes onto Logan's fingers, you twitched and writhed as he continued to fuck you with slow thrusts- his fingers making hollow and wet sounds against you.
Only when your orgasm subsided is when he removed his fingers, eyes glistening as he sucked off your arousal. You watched, heavy pants still billowing out between your lips.
"So..." He slumped next to, already moving to grab a wet wash cloth, "You got any other requests for me?"
Pairings: Johnny Depp x Reader (and kind of x female!OC but that’s not the main focus of anything)
Summary: You’re a new actress trying to get your start. You end up getting your first role cast in a music video for Marilyn Manson’s “KILL4ME” music video but it turns out to be much more than you expected.
Warnings: SMUT (male x female, female x female)
A/N: 1) I made the reader straight with no prior female x female experiences. I don’t know why if I’m being honest but that’s how it is so please don’t come at me for it. 2) This is NOT how the film industry should work. If you’re trying to get into the industry, please stay safe, be responsible, and recognize red flags. Typically, randomly popping up pornographic requests is NOT professional or safe. This is just a fantasy I had while watching the music video and was written this way strictly for entertainment purposes.
Word Count: 5696
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This project requires nudity and sexual scenes. If you are not comfortable, do not apply.
The warning had been clear as day and yet, here you were, sitting in your car at the old mansion that was the filming site, nerves going off the charts and feeling less than comfortable with the imminent nudity and sexual scenes. You were an actor, you reminded yourself. This was the only job you’d landed since arriving in Los Angeles and, despite your promises to yourself and your family that you wouldn’t resort to full nudity for a project, there were bills that needed paying and your waitressing job wasn’t cutting it.
Besides, shouldn’t you be thrilled? This wasn’t just any music video you’d landed a role in but a music video for Marilyn Manson! He was a goth rock legend and you couldn’t hide your excitement when you’d found out who you’d been booked to work for.
But still, the nudity and sexuality made you uneasy. There hadn’t been a script or anything. Your only instructions were to come looking your best and with an open, ready to work mindset. So here you were, physically feeling like a million bucks but butterflies going crazy within.
Inhaling a deep, calming breath, you opened the door to your barely working 2008 Honda Civic, feeling even more self-conscious when you saw the other cars that were parked outside of the massive mansion were all beautiful and sleek, most of them black and very expensive looking.
Crew members stirred around outside, entering and exiting the house with lights and props and sound equipment, everything needed for the production. You walked through the large black door that led into the beautiful white mansion, opening into an equally fantastic interior. You audibly gasped, “This is beautiful…”
“Y/N?” A woman’s voice questioned from beside you and you spun quickly to face her, snapping out of your amazed daze.
“Yes.” You answered hastily.
She checked the clipboard in her hand, “Great, you’re right on time. Come right this way, we’re gonna get you into hair and makeup.” You were about to reply when she’d taken off down the hall without giving you a moment to speak so you followed, avoiding the moving equipment around you.
Before you knew it, you’d been whisked away into a small room that was full of makeup, hair styling tools, and costumes. Nobody told you what they were doing as they pulled your hair straight and did up your makeup, surprisingly simpler than you’d expected with just light eyeshadow and moderate eyeliner.
“Alrighty, now I’m gonna have you undress and put on that robe over there.” The man in charge of costumes directed.
Your brows furrowed, “How undressed?”
“All the way, sweetie. No panties, no bra. It’s all gotta go.” He must have seen the uneasy look on your face because he gave you an unsympathetic shrug, “You signed up for a nude project, hun. Welcome to Hollywood.”
**
“Y/N is here. I believe that’s it, Mr. Manson.” The same woman as earlier announced as you entered the room you were supposed to be briefed in. It took everything in your power to remain professional when you saw Marilyn Manson standing there, talking casually with another girl who you assumed to be a co-star.
Like you, his makeup was already done up and he was in full costume. His face was painted pale white with a black loop drawn across one half and his other half blank except for the unnaturally blue contact and dark panda-like eyeliner. His lips were stained bright red and you almost felt like you were looking at a picture of him online.
“Thank you, Yolanda.” None other than The Marilyn Manson (and yes, “The” was now an official part of his name in your mind) thanked the woman who you assumed to be an assistant. “Come on in, Y/N.” He beckoned you into the room and you tried to front your most professional, most confident face but the way you held your robe tight to your body gave you away.
“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Manson.” You came up, reaching to shake his hand, “It’s a real honor to get to work with you.” Kiss ass, you muttered to yourself.
Instead of shaking your hand, he simply waved his hand in the air, “Ah, the pleasantries. I hope it will be a pleasure to work with you as well.”
You retracted your extended hand awkwardly, unsure of whether or not that was a blow off or him just being mysterious and cool, and scuttled to stand with the other girl. She was beautiful and blonde, tall and thin. Model-esque. You felt insecure next to her, especially in front of someone as influential as Manson. You were just you, an inexperienced actress-to-be, on her first professional job with a bunch of people who definitely knew their way around a camera.
“Alright, so I know you came here with minimal details,” Marilyn began, a weirdly neutral look on his very painted face, his tone flat and low. It was hard to read him with his contacts in. “Hopefully, that’s a good sign this will work well. You’re both willing to take risks. You’re flexible. Well, I’m here to give you the details. As you know, there is nudity and sex required for this video. It will be between you two,” You stiffened up awkwardly as he gestured all too casually between the two of you, “And my old friend here.”
On cue, none other than Johnny Depp walked into the room. Your jaw visibly hit the floor. There is no fucking way. “Hello.” He greeted with a smile, the same smile that you’d seen millions of times in his movies that you’d binged every so often.
Were you the only one feeling so shocked? Why the hell was the actress next to you so calm? Why was Johnny so calm? You were about pretend to fuck Johnny fucking Depp!
Johnny stepped forward to shake your hand, “I’m Johnny, nice to meet you,” He introduced politely.
Starstruck, you took his hand, “Y/N. It’s nice to meet you as well.” Then he leaned down and kissed your hand, actually kissed your hand like a fucking gentleman, eyes never leaving yours. God, the way he looked up at you through his strands of middle parted 90’s hair… it was enough to make your breath catch.
Slowly, almost reluctantly, he moved from you to the girl next to you, “I’m Marie.” She responded to his introduction politely. He brought her hand to his lips as well but, maybe you were crazy - just imagining some fantasy, but it felt detached and fast when he did it to her.
“Great, well now that we all know each other,” Marilyn interjected as Johnny moved back to stand by his friend, “I’ll continue. I’ve already shot my parts so I’ll be here to direct you if needed but I want this as natural as possible. Aside from a few artistic shots, I need this to be raw, primal, and absolutely fucking filthy.”
You and Marie listened on in intent silence, soaking in his every word. But you found it hard to focus when, out of the corner of your eye, you saw Johnny eyeing you. No, no, it couldn’t be. He was probably just zoned out behind you.
***
A few hours later, all of the artistic shots had been done. There were shots of you pulling up thigh high stockings that clipped onto the garter belts hanging from your nearly sheer black underwear and having a leather corset tightened tightly on your back, cinching your waist smaller than you’d ever seen it. You had put on massively high heels and large, luxurious costume jewelry.
Even though the outfit could be seen as objectifying, you’d never felt more confident or powerful in your life. After your last shot of just your nearly bare thighs, you were dismissed momentarily so Marie could film her sections.
You walked over to your bag and took out a water bottle, not realizing how much this took out of you, running the same seemingly simple shots over and over again under blaring lights. “How long have you been acting?”
Oh God. It was him.
You turned to see Johnny standing next to you, very close, much closer than was considered polite distance but not so close that you felt suffocated. He looked gorgeous, hair hanging perfect from his beautiful tan skin. Earrings hung from his lobes, dangling just slightly. His white button up shirt was only buttoned half way, showing off his smooth, toned chest that barely showed any signs of his older age (not that he was ancient but he was definitely on your list of celebrities over 45 that you would let rail you). But the cherry on top was the eyeliner. The fucking eyeliner. It took you back to so many of his characters that you’d fallen in love with but with the white shirt and earrings, you were getting almost a refined Jack Sparrow crossed with Sweeney Todd feeling and God you’d never been so turned on by a pirate/ serial killer.
“You okay?” He asked, and you blinked rapidly, totally horrified that you’d been staring.
“Oh! Sorry! Um, this is my first real shoot, actually. You know how Hollywood is…” You chuckled awkwardly, reaching your hand around to rub your neck. Of course, he knew how Hollywood was, stupid! You cursed yourself, hoping you didn’t sound as dumb as you felt.
He leaned a hand up against the wall, “Yeah, I know how that is. But don’t worry, this is a great place to start.” He reassured, looking away at the set oh so casually. Your eyes trailed up his arm that had planted itself just beside you on the wall. Was he really doing what you thought he was doing?
No! He was Johnny Depp. He could have whichever woman he wanted at the bat of an eyelash. Why would he want you?
“Y/N! We’re ready for your scene with Marie!” The director called to you from behind the camera and you perked up.
“I better go.” You nodded over to the set, walking away awkwardly, almost scared that you be perceived as rude for having to do your job.
He chuckled and waved you on. This made you blush bright red and turn to run off to set.
You found yourself directed to a bed, “All right,” The director began, Marilyn standing directly next to him, hand on his chin as he watched his vision be brought to life, “Now, first, we’re going to get shots of you making out. I need it hot, I need it passionate. I don’t care if you’ve never kissed a girl before, make it look like you have. Next, we’re going to do totally nude shots of you grinding.”
Your eyelids fluttered slightly in shock at what he said. Okay, you could do that, you hyped yourself up.
Before you knew it, you were lying on the bed, Marie on top of you. Her soft lips were against yours and her nails raked gently down your throat, sending shocks down your body. Even though you were acting, it was hard to separate the feelings that arose, regardless of your sexuality. It had been a long time since anyone had touched you like this. Your hands tangled in her hair and your eyes were screwed shut.
“Cut!” The director yelled and Marie immediately pulled back, snapping out of character and back into her over-professional attitude. You, on the other hand, needed a brief moment to pull out of character. After just a second, you pushed yourself up onto your elbows, Marie still straddling you. Your breasts filled the tight push up bra you wore but you felt surprisingly comfortable in it, even around all these people. That was, until you glanced over to see Johnny standing beside Marilyn, at first looking at a monitor and reviewing footage, but then over at you, his gaze stuck on your accentuated chest.
Your face flushed red as you quickly looked away, not seeing the amused smirk that graced his face. Little did you know, he was very aware of what he was doing and very pleased with your reaction.
“That was perfect. Now we’re gonna move onto the sex scenes.” He waved you and Marie over and you obeyed once she climbed off your torso.
Marilyn and Johnny too came over, completing the small group. Marilyn spoke, “Now you knew there was sex and nudity and I’m very pleased with how this is turning out,” He paused, giving you both a very serious look, “But now, I’m going to ask something of you that you probably aren’t comfortable with. Usually with sex scenes, there’s fabric in place to hide cocks and shit but I don’t want any of that. It distracts actors from the scene and there’s always the issue of whether or not you see it. I want raw, I want primal, I want absolutely fucking filthy.”
He was quiet for a moment, waiting for you and Marie to piece together his request, but filling in the rest when he saw both of your professional exteriors crack in confusion, “I want you to all actually fuck. Only if you’re comfortable with it but if you’re not you’ll be paid for the work you’ve done and we’ll find someone to replace you.”
You nearly choked, “Like… porn? You want this to be porn?” Johnny chuckled to himself, seeing your embarrassed, nervous reaction. You were so cute.
He looked pensive for just a moment before nodding, “Yeah, I suppose so.” He answered bluntly, “Like I said, only if you’re comfortable with it but, if not, you’ll be fired for the rest of the video.”
Oh God, were you really about to agree to porn? Like actual fucking porn? Three way porn at that! But three porn with Johnny Depp…. It was the one thing you told yourself you wouldn’t do. But then again, your rent was due in two weeks and you were $300 short. “I’m in.” You answered, almost regretting it immediately.
“Me too.” Marie agreed, long arms crossed across her chest.
“Good. Now let’s get to it.”
**
The lesbian sex scene had gone by relatively hitch free, save for a few awkward placement issues. Marie, being straight as an arrow, had no clue what she was doing, and you too were inexperienced in the department but with a little direction, the scene was finished.
She knelt on her knees, holding your naked hips up and grinding your bare core against her own. Your eyes were closed, trying to remember every previous sexual encounter and porno you’d seen to try and make the sexiest faces and the sexiest form.
Johnny couldn’t take his eyes off you as you writhed on the bed, completely naked and grinding up against another beautiful woman. Everything about you looked so authentic but innocent but dirty. He found himself craving you in the most unprofessional ways as he watched your breasts bounce with every roll of your hips.
When the scene was over, you nearly jumped off the bed and rushed for your robe. You were embarrassingly wet right now, the eye contact you’d made with Johnny while having your clit rubbed was just absolutely intoxicating and you were just thankful that you were able to control yourself enough to not get your juices all over Marie.
As they changed the scene around, you stood beside Johnny and Marilyn. “Method actor?” He asked.
You cocked an eyebrow, “What do you mean?”
“You looked pretty into the scene up there. Wonder what you were thinking about…” He continued. Your heart was in your throat. His tone was dark and sultry and implied exactly what he thought you were thinking about and boy was he correct. “As a method actor myself, I completely understand your… position.”
Johnny looked down at you, his dark eyes unyielding as he dove into your very soul and could see you every fantasy.
“Okay! Everyone on set!”
**
Ignore the cameras, you screamed at yourself. You’re not doing porn, you’re just having a threesome with Johnny Depp and some girl named Marie. Yeah, that was a convincing story to tell yourself. Just relax in this totally normal situation. Pfft, as if.
But you were an actress. Then something occurred to you, the ghost of a voice spoke to you. It was actually words spoken by Johnny in an old interview you’d seen him do, words that had stuck with you as a foundation in your training: “The most important thing that an actor needs to do is not to act, but to react. That’s what it is all about, and you do one of the most difficult things in the world, which is to just be–to be in the state of being.”
Just relax. React to the scene. Be in the scene. Hell, this wasn’t even a scene anymore. This was a secret fantasy you’d never known you’d had coming to life. There wasn’t even any acting involved. So just be.
“Action!”
Immediately in character, you caressed Marie sexually, hands running along her sides as you nipped along her neck. Now that you were the dominant character, her scantily clad body was putty in your hands. Your teeth raked along her skin and you felt her shudder beneath your touch, brushing her long blonde hair over her shoulder.
Then a quiet metallic sound drew your attention. You and Marie both looked over towards the ornate door to see Johnny standing there, looking in through the gold grated peephole.
Marie looked at you, her eyes full of question. Should you let him in? Honestly, you weren’t sure if your characters knew who he was. No! Stop, you’re not playing a character now. You’re you. You are the character.
You chewed your lip seductively and walked over, legs crossing and hips rocking as your heels clicked on the hardwood floor. You reached down, perfectly manicured fingers gripping the handle delicately and unlocked the door. Before he could even get ahold of his surroundings, you had him by the collar and pulled him in. He could play all the sexy flirty games he wanted, but right now, you were in control and you were going to make him want you more than anything, even if it all was just for the camera.
His hands found your hips immediately as he attempted to steady himself but, gosh, all he wanted to do was take you here and now, preferably without Marie or the cameras, but he figured that if that’s what it took to fuck you, he was more than willing to compromise.
You pulled him in, your lips finally crashing against his. At first, he was hesitant but only for half a second, before he returned the kiss with even more fervor than you’d gone in with. Marie came up on his side and nibbled his ear, hands roaming up and down his chest between your very close bodies.
Johnny pulled back from this kiss and twisted just enough to snake an arm around Marie’s thin body and led her to face you. Then his hands came to firmly hold the back of each of your necks and forced your faces together, pressing you and the other woman to kiss. You both complied obediently, a strange mix of submissively and dominantly, like you were submitting to him but then fighting between the two of you.
Her lips moved graciously against yours, smooth and soft. It was so much more different than kissing a man. This felt delicate still despite the absolute filth that was ensuing. Her hand shot out to hold you by the jaw and pulled you in roughly, Johnny’s hand almost not needing to do anything.
He watched in amazement as the two of you obeyed his every physical command, the way you both looked so lost in each other. He knew you were straight just by interacting with you earlier but you could have had him fooled now.
This wasn’t the first time he’d been in threeway with two other girls but this was definitely the hottest one. Before, it was all just to see if he could pull it off and then just to have the novelty of having girls bend to his will but this was different. You were different. He couldn’t really explain it but he was completely enamored by you. An air of innocence surrounded you from the moment he set eyes on your otherworldly beauty but the saw in your eyes a fire that burned with the ability to be more than that. He was determined to see just how hot that fire burned.
He pulled you and Marie apart before bringing her to kiss him. While he did, his free hand absentmindedly groped your chest, your breasts spilling from the top of your push up bra. A twinge of jealousy went through you as you watched them kiss, although you knew how irrational it was. They were actors. You were too. There was nothing personal about this. But, for some unexplainable, unprofessional reason, there was for you.
You slinked behind the older man like a cat and ran your fingertips ever so gently across his closed shoulders and down his biceps. They trailed down his sides as his body moved from the intense makeout session with Marie before coming around to tease over his growing bulge. In his black well fitting pants.
His body tensed ever so slightly, barely noticeable except to you two, when your hand made contact with his erection. You smirked to yourself, a dark, sexy smile, the kind of smile you’d expect to see in a twisted Tim Burton film. You were finally the mysterious gothic beauty you’d always imagined yourself as in all of his stories.
With swift fingerwork and a quick, almost too skilled, flick of your wrist, you had Johnny’s belt whipped off him and held firmly in your hands. He pulled Marie off of him and shoved her roughly onto the bed, undoing the buttons of his shirt as you walked in circles around him, trailing your gaze up and down his perfect body and dragging the leather of his belt on his torso and thighs as you did so.
The way you looked at him, like a lioness about to devour her prey, made Johnny feel like he was on fire. You seemed so in control and confident and you had a way of touching him, as if you knew exactly what made him tick. It was intoxicating.
His shirt was unbuttoned in a matter of seconds and without warning, he had you pressed back against the mattress as well. He crawled over your body, rolling his hips just right against your clothed core. A small, quiet whisper of a moan escaped your lips at the sudden, well placed contact.
Your hands tangled into his hair as you pulled him down to you, forcing his head into your neck. He kissed and sucked and nipped and licked just right, like he had a map to your body. You were embarrassingly wet from just kissing and you secretly prayed that nobody noticed but you were too lost in the moment to do anything about it.
Your leg wrapped around his waist and pulled him into you again. “Fuck…” His voice was a raspy, low whisper, said just loud enough for you three to hear.
Johnny kissed down your neck and across your breasts, moving over to Marie’s chest, which he dove into with full force. She squirmed and moaned beside you as he assaulted her perfect breasts. You rolled over as far as you could and caught her lips in yours, swallowing her moans.
That was, until Johnny’s hand trailed down to rub your core. You gasped into Marie’s full lips and rolled your hips into his hand, begging for more. Suddenly, he sat back onto his heels and grabbed your hips roughly, flipping you over onto all fours like he’d done it a million times before. “Ah!” You squealed slightly at the sudden action.
He climbed off the bed and knelt just behind you, palms rubbing over your ass and admiring every inch of you. Marie adjusted to sit just in front of you, legs spread to reveal her bare vagina before you. You weren’t sure when she’d lost her underwear but low and behold here you were face to face with all she had to bear. You’d never eaten a girl out before but you’d seen enough porn and fooled around with yourself enough to know what might work as a good start.
Cautiously, you started a few kitten licks to her clit, noticing every flinch or shudder that left her lips. Just as you began to get the hang of it, there was a loud rip as you felt the fabric of your panties be literally torn from your body. You gasped loudly, looking back behind you to see Johnny with his tongue between his teeth, admiring your body.
Johnny ran his surprisingly soft hands up and down your ass before dragging his fingertips through your already dripping folds. You moaned against Marie’s clit, her hands pulling on your hair, as his fingers circled your clit. You pressed your hips back against him, begging for more, and he was more than happy to oblige.
Before you knew it, the three of you were a tangle of limbs. At all times, you were being touched by someone, whether it was groping your chest, your ass, or your pussy, but it was always a game trying to figure out who it was. The heat was becoming unbearable and you were grateful for the lack of clothing. Your body was slicked in sweat, both yours and Johnny’s mostly.
He’d taken a clear preference to you and you almost felt bad for Marie but you didn’t feel too bad, seeing as how your lifelong fantasies were coming true. When someone was touching you, it was almost always Johnny, although he didn’t let his bias completely ruin the shot. He was a professional after all.
Soon, after at least ten minutes of blind fingering and hand jobs, you found yourself straddling Johnny as he lied naked on the bed. This was it, the moment you actually had sex with Johnny Depp. He held his large erection in one hand, guiding it to your entrance and then moved his hands to grip your hips tightly, lowering you down onto this length.
“Oh my… fuck-” You hissed out, throwing your head back as you adjusted to him. You’d never felt so full before, so complete. Without even moving, he made you feel absolutely incredible.
He chuckled sexily below you, loving your reaction. This whole scene had been a game with you, fighting for who was seducing who, who was in charge, but here he was finally proving it was him.
You steadied yourself on his chest, soft hands splayed out against his surprisingly taught, tattooed skin. To look at him like this, you never would have guessed how much older he was than you. He could pass for a very handsome man in his thirties easily.
You swiveled your hips experimentally and clenched your walls around his cock. Johnny sucked in a sharp breath as his fingertips dug harshly into your skin, sure to leave little bruises in their place. You looked down and locked eye contact with him through your long eyelashes, your hair disheveled and hanging in your face sexily, as you squeezed your muscles around him yet again and moved your hips.
“Fucking hell.” He groaned out beautifully, short nails digging crescents into your skin. His grip moved to cup your ass cheeks from below, grabbing them firmly and moving you up and down until you found a pace that worked for both of you.
Marie lied on the bed beside Johnny, one leg strewn across his chest and the other behind your bouncing body, as she toyed with her clit with one hand and fingered herself with the other.
You reached down to play with her breasts, pinching and rolling her nipples between your soft fingertips but the action was half hearted at best. All you could focus on was how Johnny felt inside you, hitting all the right spots. How you had him at your will just as much as you were at his. His hair was strewn around his face on the pillows like a damn god, his eyeliner smeared every so slightly from the sweat. His eyes screwed shut every now and then but otherwise, he looked at you like no other man had ever looked at you before.
He reached between your bodies and found your clit, rubbing it in small, tight circles. Your walls began to clench uncontrollably as you felt your orgasm nearing. Your back arched as you leaned back, moving your hands to rest on his thighs as you rose and fell on his length. Marie leaned down, attaching her lips to your perked nipples and biting one gently, licking over the skin to soothe it before doing it again.
Johnny reached down to finger her roughly as she ravaged your breasts. You continued to bounce, the new angle hitting that perfect spot inside you. “I’m gonna-” Marie whined out, her voice high and seductive.
You nodded quickly, eyes screwed shut, “Me too!” You exclaimed, trying with all your might to stave off your orgasm for as long as possible but the pleasure was just building up too much.
“Cum for me.” Johnny demanded from both of you and that was all it took for you to crash over the edge. Hot flashes stroke across your body in electric waves as your body failed to keep moving. He continued to lift your body for you, helping you ride out your high but his fingers dug tightly into your skin when your walls spasmed uncontrollably around him.
“Fuck!” Marie whined out, her legs shaking against Johnny’s body as she came.
You reluctantly rolled off Johnny’s body when you felt him lift you off and rested off to the side, breathing heavily while you recovered. He got up onto his knees next to you and stroked himself quickly, aggressively, using your slick to glide his hand across his erection, before painting Marie’s body in white ribbons.
“And cut!” The director’s voice yelled out, harshly returning you from your daydream. Your eyes suddenly snapped as wide as a deer caught in headlights as the studio lights flicked on around you and the crew was visible again. The reality of everything came crashing down on you. Shit, that wasn’t some secret fantasy in your head. That was a pornographic threesome with Johnny Depp and some woman named Marie!
You glanced over to the more experienced actress and breathed out a sigh of relief to see her looking the same way you did, completely shocked and a little disappointed at what you’d agreed to, but too pleased and amazed at what you’d just done to care too much before.
Johnny, on the other hand, looked like he was already recovering with a cool exterior. He’d already begun climbing off the bed to get his clothes back on, leaving you and Marie alone on the bed to register what had happened.
“Fuck me, that was hot.” Marilyn stepped onto the set, completely comfortable and practically ignoring the fact that he’d just watched his best friend fuck two women. You blushed a bright red. Great, you forgot that Marilyn Manson now would have the image of you fucking in his memories for forever. Not exactly the impression you typically went for in Hollywood… Or was it?
The director watched over the footage, “They looked like they were enjoying themselves a little too much.” He snorted, pointing out something on the screen to Marilyn and you just prayed that it wasn’t a funny face you made in the heat of the moment.
Marilyn waved him off, “No such thing as too much fun with sex, Paul.”
Even though the crew were all doing their various jobs, you were convinced that every eye was on you. WIth a beet red face, you slinked out of the bed, hands covering your breasts and keeping your thighs as close together as you could, trying to shield your nudity from the room. It wasn’t that you were ashamed of your body, it was just the feeling of being so exposed to a room full of strangers that made the blood rush to your face.
You rushed around, trying to pick up whatever small scrap of clothing you could identify as yours. On the ground, beside the bed, was a crumpled heap of thin stringy black fabric. Your underwear! “Thank God!” You murmured to yourself, bending down to pick it up, only to have it fall in two, rendered unwearable.
Your face dropped when you saw it and sighed, starting to become more comfortable in your naked skin but more so because you had no other choice at the moment. Could you even request clothing from the crew? Where did your actual clothes end up? Why did you even think that was a ridiculous request to want your clothes back?
Just as you dropped the shredded underwear, ready to find a crew member and get your clothes back, you heard Johnny chuckle, low and sexy behind you, “You’re a great method actor,” He complimented with a wink and slight smirk, knowing damn well what he meant, the nonchalance of his entire being making you dumbfounded, “Perhaps, we could do this again under less professional circumstances.”
And with the invitation, said in the most casual way - as if inviting you for coffee, he pushed the last button through the loop of his pristine white button up, and walked to find his best friend, leaving you standing on set, naked, clutching the underwear he’d literally ripped from your body just minutes earlier, eyes on his majestic figure and trying to comprehend what the fuck just happened.
word count: 6359 // masterlist | inbox (please request ! ) | WIP list
summary: after a year long relationship that yielded nothing more than a few pathetic pecks on the lips, you venture out to get kissed. It's a stroke of cosmic luck that the man who chooses to kiss you is one of Hawkins's hottest.
Contents/Warnings: afab!reader, smut (18+), kissing, makeouts, fingering, brief oral sex (m receiving), brief mentions of virginity/virgin kink
A/N: this is special for many occassions! first, because I actually started and finished something that i haven't had sitting in my drafts for two years! second, because i'm finally back into the swing of things with stranger things and billy to boot. and third, because i hit 1K!!!!!! thank you so so much for helping me hit this milestone, it feels insane and i'm so ready to celebrate! i'm planning on a little writing event to celebrate even more but for now enjoy 6.3K of nasty billy smut <3
reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! your feedback motivates me to write more, so thank you for your support :-)
You feel like an imposter in the middle of this party. On the surface you know what you’re doing- you’ve got on a bra that pushes your chest up, and a top that plunges so low that you’re nearly showing nipple. It’s riding up your stomach, too, a strip of fabric that’s eager to reveal all of the parts you’re supposed to be showing, considering it’s Halloween and everyone’s costumes are thinly veiled excuses to get naked.
But beyond that-? Beyond dressing the part, beyond wearing the right bra with the right top and smearing glittery eyeshadow over your lids, you’re at a complete loss. Because the bra and top and makeup are supposed to get you laid, and you’ve never done that before.
You’re woefully under-touched, under-kissed, even, but enough time has passed since the end of your last relationship that you’re looking to get back out there again. The problem with that one had been that it was simply… boring. It feels mean to say that, because the boy was nice and respectful- maybe too respectful. A year and a half’s worth of dating had garnered only quick pecks on the lips, and you were starting to wonder who was less interested in physicality with the other person by the end of it. It had felt more like you’d been friends for the year, and had dipped your toes into awkward hellos and goodbyes on the mouth. It was a relationship by name only- and you’re ready for the real thing.
You’re nervous, but you’ve been thinking that you might need something hot and heavy to get you comfortable in the dating scene. After all, as much as you’d resented your last relationship’s lack of spice, boys are hardly ever that hands-off. You suspect anyone else you try going steady with will have their hands all over you by the third date, and the thought makes your stomach flip. It’s a little trepidatious, a little excited, which is why you’re testing the waters tonight, and aiming to get kissed before going home.
It feels too perfect that the man whose eye you catch is Billy Hargrove. You’ve been subtly gazing at him for months now, because he’s easy on the eyes and his rebellious attitude only sweetens the deal. He sits behind you in history, too, and you admittedly relish the shenanigans he comes up with to both keep himself occupied, and irritate your teacher. You’ve caught yourself smothering a laugh at a few of his snarky comments, or leaning to your left to cover up the sight of him smoking from the front of the class. On occasion he asks you for a pencil, and the last time he’d returned it he’d flashed one of those dazzling smiles at you, reaching out to tug at a lock of your hair before sauntering out. You wish you could say you’re smart enough not to fall for such childish antics, but you’re not, and you’ll happily get schmoozed by the school’s bad boy instead of going home un-kissed.
“Hey,” He offers you a salacious grin, his dusty blonde curls spilling over his shoulders in ringlets you’re jealous of. He’s either going as the Terminator or as a half-naked man, and honestly, the second option sounds more like him than Arnold Schwarzenegger does. He’s got a leather jacket on, one that he hasn’t even attempted to zip up to cover his tanned chest below. He’s thick, muscled and stocky, but you try keeping your eyes on his own as he crowds you against the wall of the hallway you’re both standing in. You’re the only people in the narrow space, but the party rages on just through the doorway, so you’re not completely removed. He has to raise his voice just a smidge to talk to you, but you can hear him and his gruff voice sends a chill up your spine. It’s dark, and your stomach does another one of those flips as you realize you’re nose-to-nose with one of the most handsome men you’ve ever seen.
You shrink backwards against your volition- what you wouldn’t give for the courage to lean closer - and smile, a curve of your lips accompanied by a flush to your cheeks, “Hi.”
“You look nice,” He comments, “I’ve never seen you dressed like this before.”
“I don’t usually wear it to class,” You glance down at your chest, then back up at him to find that his eyes dart upwards at the same time. Your cheeks heat more, and your stomach writhes below your heart, “It’s a little… much.”
“It’s perfect,” He grins, blinking lazily at you and tilting his head further down, one of his arms coming up to brace against the wall behind you, “You’re kind of the last person I thought would be here, though.”
“I’m not that bad, am I?” You ask, nearly cringing. But he laughs, and you’re really berating yourself for falling so easily now, because your knees nearly give at the sound. It’s rich, warm, and practiced, you’re sure, but it doesn’t matter in this moment, because Billy Hargrove is paying attention to you, and it looks like the only item on your bucket list is about to be checked off pretty soon.
“Not bad. Just quiet. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. And that’s not really something you see at these types of parties. You drink?”
“Not really,” You shake your head, peering down at your underfilled cup of something, barely two sips taken from it, “I only took it because someone handed it to me, and I didn’t know how to say no.”
He takes it from you without another word, his fingers brushing your own as he grips the cup in his gloved hand, lips stretching wide around the rim to down the thing in one go. He blinks afterwards, shaking his head briefly as the taste stings his tongue, but his eyes are brighter when they open again, and he drops the empty cup onto the hallway floor without a second thought.
“How much have you had?” You ask, not wary, but curious, and he laughs again.
“None of that. I’ve only had beer so far. That’s gross,” He licks his lips, his tongue so bright pink it’s almost red, his lips now coated in a glossy sheen of saliva, “They just put whatever they could find in there.”
“Is it strong?” You ask, remembering the way your throat had burned in taking only a few sips.
“Nah,” He shakes his head, his curls flying and his eyes gleaming, “Not unless you’re a lightweight.”
You shrug haphazardly, then realize all too late that you’re not good at flirting. Perhaps this is why you’d gone a year and a half without a proper kiss- what do you say now? He’s inches from your face, liquor wafting off of his tongue and cologne off of his bare chest. What could the right thing to say possibly be in this scenario?
Billy seems to realize he needs to do the talking, because he dips closer, his face now achingly close to yours, “So, do you like it here?”
“At the party?” You ask, and he doesn’t point out your stupid question. He just nods, one of his curls falling and tickling your cheek where you’re looking up at him.
“It’s okay,” You hum, casting a wary glance towards the crowd mere feet away, “It’s a little loud, though!”
Your voice is semi-raised to prove your point, and he breathes out a laugh that makes his teeth gleam in the dull light of the hallway. He gets impossibly closer, his chest pressing against yours for a split second before his hands find your waist and nudge you backwards, to your left.
“What-” You stammer, but your feet soon find a doorway instead of solid wall, and he backs you into a dark bathroom off the hallway, further removed from the noise of the party.
“There,” He hums, flicking on a light and shutting the door behind him, planting his feet against it and leaning back, “Is that quieter for you?”
You feel the breeze coming through the window, and the soft lights of the bathroom are actually pleasant compared to the lingering darkness of the hallway or the stark white lights of the main room. You turn to face the window, peering out over the lawn that’s lit only by streetlamps. There’s no partygoers on the lawn yet, but there’s no police either, so maybe that’s for the best. It really is quieter in here, not silent but better, and you nod thoughtfully.
“Yeah. Thanks.” You turn, finding Billy mere inches from your face. He licks his lips, his tongue glistening and dark pink, obscene as it coats his lower lip in a layer of saliva you want to taste. It’s a bold thought, considering you’ve never done more than a press of lips-on-lips, but you can smell his breath and even the beer on it doesn’t discourage you from thoughts of kissing him for real.
“Anytime,” He winks, he actually winks, a ludicrous gesture that you appreciate for its obviousness. You’re so nervous that you need over-the-top, you need him to lead so that you don’t fumble around in the dark and lose your shot. If he wants to kiss you, he’ll have to kiss you, and from the way he’s breathing against your face you presume he’s about to.
“So,” He hums, one of his hands finding your waist. Your tight shorts mold right to your skin, not boxy or baggy or anything that would prevent his fingertips from pressing against your every curve, “‘Thought I heard you broke up with your boyfriend this summer.”
“I did,” You nod obediently, head bobbing up and down while your lashes flutter involuntarily. You don’t necessarily mean to act like a lovesick child, but he’s so close and warm and electric in the small space of the secluded bathroom that you’re uncontrollably fawning over him. It’s difficult to look him in the eyes so you do it upwards from a bowed head, pupils surely eclipsing your irises by now.
“So you’re mingling,” Billy nods slowly in understanding, his lips pursed in thought before they spread into a grin so dripping with charisma that you’re surprised it’s not forming a puddle on the floor. “That’s good. You need to let loose and have some fun.”
“I guess so,” You laugh, quietly, primly, nervously. You wonder if he can tell that you’re thrumming with equal parts excitement and terror. You won’t go back on your mission for the night but now that it’s plausible you’re getting clammy-palmed and weak-kneed. You hope when he does it- if he does it, he won’t laugh when you collapse afterwards.
“You seem nervous.” He notes, and your stomach drops to your feet. Okay, so he can tell. But he doesn’t back off- on the contrary, his hand strokes gently over your waist, rubbing in one soothing, slow circle before cementing itself against your side again.
“I’m sorry,” You blink, glancing down at the floor in search of sanctuary from those icy blue eyes, another gentle laugh spilling from your lips like it’ll shield you from the moves he’s putting on you, “I’m really- I don’t usually do this. I’ve never done this before.”
The admission comes out before you can really think about it, and when you do, you cringe.
The mission of the night was to get kissed, not to admit you’d never been before. And sure, it could still happen. But if word ever gets out that Billy Hargrove was your first kiss, your first real kiss despite your year-long relationship, you’d never show your face outside again.
He rears his head backwards, genuine shock taking over his face before he schools it back into that delightfully-forward grin of his. You’re drinking in how sleazy he’s being, because for once you want to feel like a man can’t keep his hands off of you, not that you’re dreading the moments before you have to see him because you’ll have to peck at his lips like a shy bird. Perhaps tomorrow will be the day you decide greaseballs aren’t for you, but tonight, you’ll let this one win.
“Y/N,” He practically sings, his voice low like a cat’s purr and twice as sensuous, “You’re kidding. He never kissed you?”
“No, I’m not,” You breathe, nearly sobbing despite your lack of tears, “I don’t- I just never… no one’s ever-”
“How could anyone resist?” He asks, and your heart pounds in your ears.
“That guy-” Billy’s brows scrunch, his curls dangling over the sides of his face as he leans closer to you, “Michael-? Bradley-? Tom-?”
It’s none of those, but you’re not eager to utter his name at the moment. You stay silent, aware that you could press yourself backwards against the wall behind you but pointedly staying in place, silently begging for Billy to close the gap between his lips and yours. It’s a painfully small thing, and a 5 degree lift in the angle of your head would fix it. But you’re frozen, basking in the way his eyes shine as he leans over you.
“How could he not kiss you?” Billy asks, and he leans in, he’s leaning in, he’s doing it, he’s closing the gap and-
Your entire world shifts on its axis.
At first, it’s just like it was with your ex, but longer. It’s a press of lips to lips, but Billy’s are soft and they taste a little bit like nicotine and a whole lot like beer. Then he breaks away and before your brain can even register that he’s done it, there’s a soft smacking sound and he goes back in for more. This one, this one is a killer. You feel his tongue, warm and wet and smooth, peek out of his mouth and brush upwards against the apex of your bottom lip. It makes you shudder, a full body thing that Billy feels against his palm. He breathes through his nose, probably a laugh but not a cruel one, and when his lips briefly part from yours again, barely backing off a milimeter, they brush against your own mouth when he speaks.
“He never did that?” Billy asks, his voice husky and low. He moves in for another kiss, and this time, at the prodding of his tongue against the seam of your lips you part them, nervous and excited and everything all at once as his tongue blots at the soft skin lining the inside of your mouth, spit-soaked and barely missing your teeth. He doesn’t break apart this time, though, he breathes through his nose and you feel the cool rush of air against your philtrum. It means his lips don’t have to separate from yours, and you barely hold back a moan as his lips advance further on yours, slotted with your own and gently pulling at them, urging your own mouth to mesh further with his. His hand on your waist begins tugging, dragging you closer to him as he pries his mouth off of yours, panting softly while his spit-soaked lips press a wet kiss against the skin just at the corner of your mouth.
“How did he never do that? Shit,” He breathes, long and low as he goes in for another kiss. He’s bolder this time, his tongue spilling out of his own lips and into your mouth, brushing against your own in a gesture that whites out your vision. It’s electric, it’s hazy and it stirs something squirmy beneath your gut as his tongue slides over your own, rolling his spit over yours and combining them in a substance you want to swallow. You don’t have much choice, because it drips close to your throat and you nearly choke on it, but his tongue retreats and your throat bobs as you chase after it. You do moan this time, nothing obscene but audible in the small, closed-off bathroom. Billy grunts at it, a low, gruff sound that makes the feeling beneath your stomach more intense, and you realize your hands have come up to grip against the sides of his leather jacket without your consent.
“How’d he stop himself, huh?” Billy asks, his voice husky. It sends a shiver down your spine but it follows through to your core, and you feel yourself begin to throb dully, “How’d he resist? I can’t fuckin’ stop. I can’t stop.” He grunts, pressing kiss after hot, sucking kiss to your lips, “How’d he stop himself from doing this 24/7, babe?”
You hang off of him desperately, whining lowly, but he’s so good of a kisser that you’re not embarrassed about it. It’s justified- you’re almost mourning the fact that this is your first kiss and not your forever kiss. There’s a good chance he’ll never look at you again after tonight, and you can only hope to find someone half as good at this as he is.
He moans, nose smashing against yours as he drags himself off of you, “He never did this? How ‘bout this,” He ducks down again, this time kissing against the side of your jaw and veering towards your ear, “Did he do that?”
“No,” You whimper, putty in his hands.
“Why not?” He asks, trailing towards your mouth again, “Why didn’t he kiss you, babe?”
“I don’t know,” You breathe, the response as true as it is embarrassing.
But he doesn’t seem to be mocking you- no, he goes in for another round of mouth-to-mouth, mumbling against yours, “He’s a fuckin’ idiot, that’s why. Can’t believe he never gave you what you deserve.”
He licks into your mouth again, tongue snaking in and out as he swipes it against your molars. It’s so far in your mouth that you’re surprised you haven’t swallowed it yet, but you valiantly try to, your lips closing around it as you suckle it and slide off of it with a wet smack.
“Motherfucker,” He groans, a choppy, broken sound that comes out like a laugh as he grips your face, preventing you from chasing after his mouth. He’s breathing heavily, and you realize you are, too, partially exposed chest heaving against his own bare one. You hadn’t realized how dazed you were until the bathroom light spills back into your eyes from where Billy’s forehead and curls had been blocking it, and he stares at you with a half-grin and twinkling eyes.
“You sure you’ve never kissed anyone before? That was a good move,” He licks excess spit off of his bottom lip, eyes staring harder at your lips than your own gaze, “Fuck, I can’t believe that loser could keep his hands off of you. Jesus, f’you were my girl,” He stops short, words half-choked as he cups your face in a large, rough hand. You stare up at him, dazzled, eyes flitting over the boy’s unfairly charming grin and movie-star handsome features, “I’d never stop kissing you.”
“Billy,” You whine, a desperate mewl while he holds your face in his large palm. It’s dizzying, and you feel drunk off of the kiss instead of whatever jungle juice you’d been reluctantly sipping only minutes before. Not only have you been kissed, you’ve been frenched, properly wooed and sweet-talked until your limbs began melting. He seems to sense that you’re not steady on your feet, and his nose scrunches for a flash of a second before it smooths out with his widening grin.
“Come with me,” He slides his hand from your waist to your back, then lower beneath your ass. It’s not necessarily lewd, but it’s not chaste either, and you yelp until you realize he’s trying to get you to jump into his arms.
“Come on, up,” He instructs, tugging again at the plush of your ass through your shorts, and you clamor to wrap your arms around his neck, hiking your waist up to wrap your legs around his own.
He grins, wolfish and toothy, “Good.” Then he’s off, arms slung beneath your ass as he hauls you out of the bathroom. Instead of turning back towards the party he heads for the stairs, and your stomach jumps with nerves as he starts to take them at a jog.
“Billy!” You shriek, arms clasped tight around his neck, “Don’t- you’ll drop me.”
“Relax. I work out,” He huffs, half-scoff, half-laugh, “Whatever you weigh, I can lift more.”
He proves his point by maintaining his grip on you the entire way up, but as soon as he starts beelining for a bedroom your gut twists again.
“Billy,” You repeat, your voice embarrassingly nervous. Are you ready for this? You’d like to be. It’s a fantasy, really, being swept off of your feet by him and sharing your first time with the man who’s surely the best lay in Indiana. But you’ve just had your first kiss, should you really be moving so quickly? “I don’t- I- I’m sorry, but I don’t know-”
“Seriously,” Billy grunts, throwing a hand out to slam the door shut behind the two of you as he hefts you onto the bed, “Relax.”
You bounce on the mattress, watching as he stops in front of you in all of his leather-clad glory. His chest is still bared, his jacket more of an accessory than an article of clothing. His curls are beginning to frizz, springing wildly this way and that, and his breathing matches your own despite hauling you up a flight of stairs mere seconds ago. He jams his hands into his pockets, a lighter in one and a squished carton of cigarettes in the other. He strikes his thumb against the lighter, burning the end of a cig until it glows, and you watch him take a deep drag through the same lips he’d just pressed all over your own.
“I’m not gonna fuck you,” He says, after smoke billows from his mouth, “Not yet, if you’re not into it. But you can’t go home without a real kiss,” He grins doggedly, offering you his cigarette, “You smoke?”
“No,” You shake your head, and he snickers.
“Didn’t think so. Wanna try?”
“No,” You repeat, squirming on the bed, “So you’re not gonna- we’re not-?”
“Not now,” He rolls his eyes, but there’s another charming smile on his face, like he’s endeared by the way your fingers twiddle together, “You need a makeout. It’s good shit,” He sniffs, taking another drag from his cigarette and pinching it between his fingers as he advances towards the bed, “Move.”
You scoot backwards, nearly too far, and he leans himself against the pillows. He eyes you expectantly, then grabs your bicep to usher you over his lap, “C’mon, like this. There you go,” He nods encouragingly as you straddle his waist, and he wastes no time before reaching for your face again, this time curling his hand around the back of your neck and yanking you in.
It’s less slow this time. You don’t mind it- he smashes his lips to yours and his tongue fills your mouth before you can process being kissed at all, licking hot, fat stripes against your own and swiping over your teeth. The appreciative hum that he lets out when your tongue licks a careful, tentative line against his own vibrates through your mouth, transferring into a full-body shudder that shakes you against his lap. He snickers into your mouth, and it’s an odd sensation, one that leaves you reeling when he tears himself away for another inhale at the end of his cigarette.
“You’re learning,” He notes, smoke filling the air in a hazy cloud not unlike the one covering your brain with the taste of Billy’s saliva on your tongue, “You’re so shy. Still can’t believe that guy never touched you,” He scoffs, his free hand regaining its spot on your waist and molding to its curve as he sucks in another lungful of smoke, “His fuckin’ loss. Lemme fix it, though.” He eyes you, ducking his head so that his eyes bore into your own, “We don’t have to do anything tonight. But when you feel like it,” He reasons, his voice dripping with warm, enticing charm, “Give me a call. Anyday, babe, I’ll be there. You don’t deserve some two-pump chump that’s gonna waste your time. Call me,” He knocks his forehead into your own, less gentle than an embrace but tender all the same as he steals another kiss from your spit-slicked, puffy lips, “And I’ll pick you up.”
“Billy,” You breathe, stars in your eyes. It’s an offer you wouldn’t refuse in a million years, and despite knowing that you’re not ready for sex yet, you’ve got a dull ache between your legs that refuses to go away, and an embarrassing amount of wetness between your thighs for someone who’s only been kissed. He leans back in with that shit-eating grin to press it to your mouth again, and you happily let yourself get sucked back into another sloppy, languid kiss. You suck on his tongue again- he liked that the first time, and you feel his stomach muscles tense where your fingertips splay out over his bare abdomen beneath you.
The more you swap spit, the more you feel Billy get hard beneath you. You wouldn’t have flattered yourself before now and assumed that sitting on a man’s lap would get him hard like this, but the feeling of his cock hardening beneath you is undeniable. You pant when he breaks away to take one last drag of his cigarette before smashing it onto the nightstand, barely hitting an ashtray. He’s hard and you’re throbbing, and the pressure between your legs is too intense to ignore when Billy’s mouth trails spit down from your mouth to your neck. He starts mouthing at the skin just beneath your jawbone, juts towards your ear, then migrates back over to your throat. He tongues messily at the skin there, then sucks so that a sharp pain begins blooming on the surface, your skin beginning to raw.
“Never got a hickey either?” He guesses, the words tongued into your skin. You shake your head, and he feels it when your hips begin to rock unconsciously against his.
“Jesus, slow down,” He bites against your neck, breaking through your brain fog and holding you still by your hips, “Thought you didn’t want anything crazy.”
“I don’t,” You whimper helplessly, “But- but I need something, this- this feels really good.”
“Alright, easy,” He pats your hip twice, sharp smacks against the hem of your jeans, “How ‘bout I finger you? That’s all, just my hand. Won’t even look if you don’t want me to.”
“I-” You falter, thinking it over, “I can keep my shorts on?”
“S’fine,” Billy shrugs, raising his head to press his nose against yours and mouth at your lips again, “Doesn’t matter to me.”
“But you,” Your hands fall to his lap, braced against his thighs and pointedly avoiding the bulge between them, “That’s not fair.”
“I’ll jack off,” He grunts against your mouth, “Good?”
“Yeah.” You make the split-second decision, stomach aflutter as you try dismounting his lap. But he doesn’t let you, the leather of his jacket creaking as he holds you firmly in place.
“No, here,” He insists, and despite the awkward angle, manages to fit his hand into one leg of your shorts. He drags his fingers across your clothed core, but as soon as he feels the wetness seeping through it his eyes flash darker.
“Jesus, you’re fuckin’ soaked. It’s a shame that fucker never kissed you.” His eyes gleam and so do his teeth as he grins, “You clearly like it.”
The only answer you’re capable of giving him is a wanton moan, feeling the pads of Billy’s fingers drag tantalizingly slowly across the pad of your panties. You’re sure they’re stained entirely by now, and once Billy gets you used to the feeling of someone touching your cunt he hooks his fingers in the elastic band and stretches them to the side.
“You sure?” He asks, his mouth still infuriatingly distracting as it slots over yours, time and time again. He’s a voracious kisser and you revel in every second of it, nearly forgetting to nod affirmatively.
He needs no further prompting.
His fingers touch your pussy, bare this time instead of clothed. It’s an odd sensation, mildly alarming that you have to quell by reminding yourself that you want this. And you do- you really do, you want Billy’s fingers to push past the slit of your cunt and press against the sensitive spots inside. You’ve experimented with yourself, felt your body and figured out what makes it feel good. What places to stroke, what places to push, what places to tease. But Billy’s fingers are bigger than yours, and it’s an entirely different sensation to have someone do it for you than to use your own hand.
It’s thrilling, and you melt against Billy’s lap. You realize your kiss has gone weak from the sensation of Billy’s fingers stroking up and down your cunt, giving you all the warning in the world before putting any pressure there. When he finally slips two fingers inside your slit and catches the wetness gushing out your jaw goes slack, tongue doing nothing but pooling spit around your teeth while Billy’s swipes over it.
“Fuck,” He grunts against your teeth, his free hand pawing at your jaw to tilt your head backwards slightly. It allows his tongue to go deeper towards your throat and you nearly gag, your own tongue rising to clash with it. Once you reengage you can’t stop, and you’re not sure you ever want to considering the way this feels right now.
His fingers stroke in and out, back and forth, up and down, and the tight pressure your shorts put on his wrist keeps it pressed firmly against your clit. It’s a heavenly feeling and you’re close already, the kiss having stirred you up more than you’d like to admit. You’re worried about leaking against his jeans but Billy takes it in stride, fingers pumping in and out of your wet cunt so skillfully that there’s wetness beginning to slide down towards his wrist.
You’re caught between mortification and bliss, but a long, forceful roll of Billy’s tongue over yours cements you in the latter.
“You’re almost there,” He notes the way your thighs clench around his wrist, feeling the pulsing of your sex as his fingers slide smoothly in and out, “Come on, babe,” He speaks across your tongue, lips pressing ravenously to your own, “Come on, lemme have it. Come on, give it to me, your first time. I wanna feel it, lemme feel you lose it on my fingers.”
“Oh my god,” You whimper, hips ticking forwards as Billy mumbles filthy hot utterances into your mouth. You drink them, sucking against his tongue again and feeling your chest begin to shudder with choppy breaths. The feeling that’s been plaguing you between your thighs all night is beginning to crest, and one deliberate nudge of Billy’s thumb against your already-aching clit is all you need to begin trembling on his thighs.
“Oh- oh my god, oh- aah!” You cry, Billy’s mouth colliding with yours and muffling your words. He licks them out of your mouth, teeth scraping against your lower lip and stinging the skin there. You roll your hips against his hand, unknowingly but helpfully, and he lets you ride out your orgasm to its end before he begins clamoring for his jeans with still-sticky fingers.
“Oh- lemme,” You start, hands flying for his zipper, but they hover there uselessly while he stares up at you. You can tell he’s agitated, pent-up energy making his eyes wild. You feel bad for the guy- he’s honestly generous to offer to get you off and take care of himself. But this is so far out of your wheelhouse that you’re afraid you’ll do it wrong, and you’d be embarrassed to no end if you couldn’t get a man off when he’s already this hard.
“You don’t have to.” He repeats, continuing to fumble for his cock until he can wrestle it free from his boxers. It’s large, you’d say, though you have nothing to base it against, and it’s an almost pretty color at the tip, flushed and pink. It’s oozing with wetness the same way you were, and Billy presses a flat palm to your mouth instead of his own.
“Lick it,” He instructs you, unable to tear his other hand away from his aching cock even though it’s dry, “Get it wet.”
You feel ridiculous dragging your tongue up his palm but you do it anyways, and he slams it onto his cock so roughly it looks like it’d hurt. But he starts tugging at it, palm sliding up and down its length almost viciously. You wonder if it does hurt, but there’s enough lubrication from your spit and your slick alike for his palm to glide instead of catch. You watch in almost-fascination as he jacks himself off, grunting and lunging forwards to draw you into another kiss, his tongue smearing messily over your lips before prodding between them.
As much as he’d teased you for getting off on kissing, he seems to be doing the same. He pumps his fist up and down the length of his cock but he’s grunting and groaning into your kiss, tongue fighting against yours when you’re brave enough to use it. The next time you remember to suckle at the tip of his tongue he heaves, his muscles tightening beneath your palms as he nears his own climax.
Wordlessly, without even breaking your kiss, you fumble for his cock. You remember to dip your hands between your own legs first to gather the leftover slickness there, and you’re by no means experienced, but you find its mushroom tip with your fingers and curl them around it. His own hand stutters, then stops, and you slide your fist down his length, stopping when you press against his balls. You pick up your pace, but try doing it gently in case you’re somehow doing it wrong, and he slings his arms around you waist to crash your bodies together even closer.
“Fuck,” He pants into your mouth, hot and heavy and gruff, “Fuck, you’re dirty.”
You squeeze experimentally, at the very base of his dick, and he bites your lip. It’s rough, and you’re almost convinced he’s drawn blood, but you know now that squeezing works, so you work your way up and down his cock, peppering in there and there until his chest is heaving against yours.
“Good, keep going, keep going,” He chants, the words spilling messily over your mouth, “I’m gonna- I’m gonna fucking-”
You part from the kiss, keeping one hand on his cock as the other flies to the mattress. You haul yourself off of his lap and flatten yourself over his thighs, knees bent as you fit your mouth over the head of his cock.
He cums.
You don’t know why you did it- it’s not like you’ve ever done it before. But you know it’s what you’re supposed to do, and you’re pretty sure you did it right if the mouthful of cum shot at the back of your throat is any indication. You nearly choke on it, cheeks briefly bulging until you can manage to swallow what doesn't stick to your tongue and cheeks.
“Aagh, what- what the fuck,” He groans, aggressive, nearly a roar as his hips buck. It presses his cock further into your mouth, nearly down his throat, and you steel yourself against gagging as he fucks out his orgasm into your mouth.
“Fucking hell,” He pants, grabbing you by the hair and tugging you off of him. He pulls you back into his lap and dives in for a kiss that lets him taste his own release on your tongue. It nearly makes him hard again, and he has to push you off before he goes back on his earlier promise to take things relatively slow with you.
“You’re fucking crazy,” He accuses, eyes hooded as he stares scrutinizingly at you, “You’ve never done any of that before?”
“No,” You breathe, shaking your head dazedly as you regather your surroundings. You feel the mattress beneath your fingers, the burn from having your knees bent for so long, “No, I- I don’t know, I just did what felt right.”
“Felt fuckin’ amazing,” He tosses his head back against the pillows and watches you swallow the contents of your mouth, part your spit, part his, part cum.
“You,” He starts laughing again, a breathless shudder of his chest, “You’re better than you think you are. Now I’m really not letting some loser fuck your virgin pussy,” He rolls his head sideways to look at you, and you nearly squirm under the intensity of his gaze, “Swear you’ll call me?”
“I swear.” You nod akin to a bobblehead, “Are- can we…? Stay here?”
“I need a minute,” He admits, nodding, his brows raised as he fumbles for another cigarette. You tentatively stretch out beside him, but you don’t close the gap until he does. His large palm grabs the side of your head and mashes it into his chest, playfully smearing at your hair until you’re sure it loses its shape.
“You bombshell.” He laughs, letting you curl into his side on the bed. You plant a hand on his chest, and something happy and squirmy happens in your chest, “You tricked me.”
“It’s my first time!” You insist through a proud, growing grin, and he drags his hand down your back, nails scratching there and eliciting a shiver that bleeds down your spine, “I swear.”
“I believe you. But you’re hot.” He insists, breathing heavily as he exhales smoke, a rare contentness seeping through his body as he recuperates beside you, “Can’t wait to see what you do when I finally get inside you.”
reblogs and comments are greatly appreciated! your feedback motivates me to write more, so thank you for your support :-)
i’m begging like on my hands and knees for more i would’ve done that sober please please please it was like so amazing you are so talented keep it up!!
I hate being sober
Pairing: Dean Di Laurentis x childhood best friend!reader
⟡ Main Index | ⟡ Archive for Earth-66
☆ Read part 1 here!!
a/n: Big thank yous all around for your patience. I hope you guys enjoy this part! Let's all be responsible readers and keep some tissues nearby. Don't blow your snot on your shirts and keep your underwear on!!
Classification: Smut +18 | Alcohol consumption at a college party (background), confrontation, insecurity and anxiety around sexual performance and orgasm, references to a past bad relationship, emotional vulnerability, fear of rejection or disgust from a partner, overthinking and anxiety in romantic/sexual communication, sensory deprivation, mild nipple play, oral sex, conversations during sex/talking you through it and praise, unprotected p-in-v, creampie, mild cum play??, multiple intense orgasms, crying during sex and aftercare and past references.
Word count: 14 k
Divider by me ;)
Hockey boys disappeared.
You wished you had known that before you let Dean slip out of your place two nights ago.
They didn’t do it intentionally, never maliciously either but the season swallowed them whole. They vanished into six a.m. skates and afternoon lifts, into physical therapy appointments that patched together bruised shoulders and strained knees. Into mandatory media interviews the athletic department insisted would make the team more marketable, more approachable and into lectures they attended only long enough to collect notes before hurrying off to practice again, then came the exams they'd postponed because hockey had always come first until suddenly it couldn't.
Their schedules folded in on themselves until entire days disappeared without warning.
You only ever seemed to find them again at parties, ones Allie and Hannah practically dragged you to, insisting fresh air, loud music and cheap drinks counted as emotional healing.
Your skin had been buzzing ever since that night, an awareness sitting right beneath the surface no matter how hard you tried to ignore it. Every time you opened your dresser, the tangled pile of Agent Provocateur lace shoved unceremoniously into the back of your drawer stared back at you like evidence from a crime scene. You'd stuffed it in there without folding a single piece, too flustered to deal with it afterward, yet you still couldn't bring yourself to move it somewhere less obvious.
Then there were Dean's texts, you answered them eventually, right after rewriting each reply sufficient times to make yourself question your own sanity. Was starting a sentence with a capital letter too serious? Did ending it with a period make you sound annoyed? Was “okay” different from “ok”? You caught yourself deleting perfectly normal messages simply because they looked too eager before sending something shorter that felt even stranger.
You hadn't mentioned that night once.
You tried not to think too much about the kiss or what had come before and especially not how it had ended. He'd watched you pull your pajamas on without a trace of impatience, giving you the privacy of looking away whenever your eyes met before inevitably finding you again, you kept your focus away from the memory of the gentle press of his lips against your forehead before he'd left, so tender you could still feel the warmth after he’d stepped away. You'd looked completely wrung out, limbs heavy, emotions stripped bare, too tired to pretend you were anything but vulnerable and he'd treated you like something precious instead of fragile.
You hadn't reached for him.
Even now, the memory made your fingers twitch uselessly at your sides. If you'd caught his wrist and tugged him back for even another minute, would anything feel different now? Or would you still be dissecting text messages like they were evidence in a court case, wondering how you had become shy after years of knowing each other better than anyone else?
“So that's what it feels like,” you breathed, the words escaping before you realized you'd spoken them aloud as your heeled boots scraped lazily against the sidewalk.
A few steps ahead, Allie stopped so abruptly she nearly caused a collision. She turned on her heel, her brows knitting together as she looked first at Hannah walking beside you, checking whether she'd heard the same thing, before her attention landed squarely on you.
“That's what what feels like?” she asked, curiosity overtaking whatever conversation you three had been having.
You could feel another exchange of glances pass between them, so quick most people would've missed it. Hannah's eyebrows lifted ever so slightly, Allie's mouth pulled into a thin line before she gave the smallest shrug in return.
Years of friendship had made you fluent in conversations that didn't require words. If you had to guess, it translated roughly to “Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe it was too soon to drag her to a party.” You pretended not to notice. Instead, you let your gaze drift down the street.
Cars lined both curbs, squeezed bumper to bumper beneath the streetlights, while clusters of students spilled across lawns and sidewalks with red cups already in hand. Music pulsed from somewhere ahead, bass so heavy it vibrated faintly beneath your feet and every few seconds another burst of laughter erupted from the overcrowded house at the end of the block where people continuously filtered through the front door, the party breathing them in and out.
You let out a quiet sigh, wondering whether turning around now would actually be more awkward than simply going inside.
Hannah spoke first, her voice light. “We don't have to stay long,” she reasoned, slipping her hands into the pockets of her jacket as she smiled at you. “There's free booze. Let's just treat it like a pregame, then we can head back to the apartment, order something greasy and play poker.”
“No offense, girls,” you replied with the ghost of a smile, “but I'm not stripping naked in front of you two tonight. Sorry to disappoint.”
Allie snorted. “I think she means the normal kind of poker.”
You looked at her with exaggerated disbelief. “We're in college, Allie. There is no other kind.”
A laugh escaped Hannah while Allie rolled her eyes so dramatically you were surprised they didn't disappear into the back of her head permanently.
“Okay…” Allie muttered under her breath, drawing the word out as she pointed an accusing finger at you. “Pessimist.” Then her entire expression brightened again, optimism returning with alarming speed. “Let's not waste good outfits by turning around prematurely. One hour.” She held up a finger. “Two, tops.”
“And no boys–” Hannah added.
You watched Allie's head whip toward her so quickly a strand of hair stuck briefly to her lipstick. “What?” she protested.
Hannah ignored her entirely, keeping her eyes on you instead. “We'll keep them at bay.”
“Who's we?” Allie demanded, her eyes widening in horror. She turned toward Hannah, raising both eyebrows in an elaborate series of expressions that looked suspiciously like she was trying to negotiate exceptions without saying them openly.
“Yeah,” you chimed in before Hannah could answer, “let's not be rash.”
Both of them looked at you at once and you blinked innocently. “I mean…” you amended, scratching lightly at the side of your neck. “Talking's fine, right?” Your shoulders lifted in a small shrug. “If Tucker came up to me, I wouldn't ignore him.”
“You like Tucker?” Hannah asked carefully, the question so gentle that it almost sounded like she was testing the ice before stepping onto it. Her eyes narrowed, though the corner of her mouth betrayed the beginning of a smile. “Though he's not the demographic I'm worried about.”
Your head snapped toward her. “No, I–” You stumbled over the words, making a vague gesture in the air between you. “It was just an example. He's a boy–” You caught yourself. “Man.” The correction did absolutely nothing to restore your confidence as both of them continued staring at you expectantly. You winced. “Okay, it was a bad example,” you admitted, ducking your head.
Before either of them could capitalize on it, you slipped neatly between them and continued walking toward the house, hoping physical distance would somehow end the conversation…It didn't.
“Surprised you didn't use Dean,” Allie remarked quietly.
Your entire body locked up and your next step faltered before stopping altogether. Slowly, you turned back to face them, your expression caught somewhere between horrified and deeply offended. “Let's pick another word.”
Allie blinked. “…What?”
You shrugged awkwardly, refusing to elaborate for a second before mumbling, “‘Use’ just sounds wrong.”
“I meant ‘use him’…” Allie's grin spread wider the second she realized what could’ve happened inside your head. “As in ‘use him as an example’.” She pointed at you dramatically. “Though if you're into that dominatrix shit, I'll just ask you not to do it in the apartment.” She tilted her head thoughtfully. “And much less with Di Laurentis. I doubt his ego could handle physically being under a woman and–”
Your eyes widened a little more with every passing sentence. Your mouth opened twice, each time thinking now was the moment you'd interrupt, only for Allie to barrel cheerfully into the next thought before you could squeeze a single word in.
“…he'd probably have trouble performing or something. I don't remember Six Flags having a ride where you stand in line for forty minutes just to leave disappointed. He'd spend more time advertising himself than actually delivering and fuck forbid he finds a captive audience…we'd never hear the end of how 'life-changing' he thinks his d–”
“Allie,” you finally managed weakly, which thankfully made her rant stop.
A few steps away, Hannah made a strangled sound that was half laugh, half cough. “Okay!” she wheezed, trying and failing to compose herself. “I think we'll all stay away from boys tonight.”
A huff of laughter escaped you, the tension finally cracking. “So if Garrett waltzes in,” you asked, “you're just going to keep that man away?” Your eyebrows lifted knowingly. “If what slips through the thinnest walls ever made is any indication, I'd like to see that work in your favor.”
Hannah didn't even have the decency to look embarrassed. “Well, that's different,” she replied with unmistakable pride. “We're together.”
“Better wrap up your French lesson then, Madame,” Allie declared, already marching ahead with exaggerated determination. She shook her head dramatically, muttering loud enough for both of you to hear. “We? Who's we? Far as I know this is still a free country…” She threw one hand into the air in theatrical protest without ever slowing her pace, leaving you and Hannah exchanging an amused glance before following after her.
You grimaced before leaning slightly toward Hannah, lowering your voice as though the woman in question might somehow overhear you from halfway up the walkway. “I think we should start putting the news on as background noise,” you reasoned with complete sincerity.
A laugh escaped Hannah before she bumped your shoulder lightly with hers as the two of you started walking again, unhurried despite Allie steadily increasing the distance between you.
“College is torture enough,” Hannah sighed. “Let's at least wait until we get this semester's grades.”
You nodded thoughtfully. “And gauge exactly how much pain we actually deserve…smart idea.”
Hannah breathed out dramatically. “Or the worst I've ever had.”
You laughed under your breath just as Allie's voice carried across the front lawn. “Are you guys coming or what!?” She stood on the porch with one hand on the doorway of the open front door, the music spilling out around her while impatiently waving both of you over.
“Yeahhh…no,” you replied, motioning toward the overflowing house in the distance, the one she'd insisted would be a good idea in the first place. “I think this one already beats it.” You let out a long, defeated sigh as you and Hannah finally caught up to Allie, meeting her expectant stare. “Poor choice of words again, babe.” You told her, pressing your lips into a thin line.
Allie rolled her eyes with exaggeration, muttering something under her breath that was completely swallowed by the music pouring from the open front door before disappearing inside. The bass had grown strong enough to rattle the loose wooden steps with every beat.
You stepped through the doorway last.
Warm air, thick with perfume, sweat, beer and something unmistakably fruity from whatever jungle juice someone had mixed in the kitchen, hit you instantly. Every room seemed packed wall to wall with students, some danced with complete disregard for personal space while others shouted conversations directly into each other's ears. Plastic cups littered every available surface, laughter rose above the music in uneven bursts and somewhere upstairs someone cheered so loudly, it briefly overpowered the speakers.
“…Or what,” you echoed quietly to yourself as the front door swung shut behind you.
The phrase lingered in your head while your eyes swept over the crowded rental. You spotted Hannah and Allie weaving confidently through the bodies ahead of you, Hannah reaching back once to make sure you were still following before the crowd swallowed her hand again.
“I'm gonna get us something to drink!” you called over the music once you'd caught up.
Allie answered with an enthusiastic thumbs-up that quickly dissolved into dancing with whoever happened to be beside her, already swaying to the beat without a hint of self-consciousness. Hannah, meanwhile, had her phone out before you even finished speaking, her attention dropping to the screen with a smile you recognized instantly as she typed what was almost certainly a message to Garrett letting him know the three of you had made it there safely.
You smiled back at everyone who greeted you on the way through the house, returning waves and quick hellos even when you barely recognized the faces. If you acted normal for a while longer, maybe your brain would eventually believe that this was just another party, another late night. No tangled thoughts or awkward tension sitting beneath your skin, no constant awareness of a pair of hands that had learned you with impossible patience only two nights earlier.
You kept searching for the kitchen instead, hoping the simple task would occupy your mind before it drifted back to your bedroom, to the mirror the two of you had stood in front of, to the way he'd looked at you through your own reflection, the quiet praise, the tenderness and how he'd made you feel seen by expertly opening the walls to your own pleasure.
By the time you reached the kitchen, you were relieved by the mundane sight of overcrowded counters. You pulled it open, grabbed three cans of soda and decided they were probably the smarter choice, experience had already proven that alcohol loosened your tongue far more than your common sense appreciated.
You cracked yours open, taking a long sip as the cold, fizzy sweetness settled pleasantly in your throat, cooling the nervous warmth that had been building there all evening. For a moment, you simply stood there, your eyes wandering over the crowded kitchen. People leaned against countertops with red cups in hand, someone laughed loudly, making the room glance over and two strangers debated mixers in front of the freezer.
Then your gaze caught on the one face you had hoped not to see, your ex.
His eyes found yours in the same instant, his posture straightening automatically. You recognized that look, that subtle shift that always came a second before he decided on his next move which was toward you.
Instinctively, you took a step backward, only to bump into a cluster of people reaching for drinks behind you. Someone muttered a quick apology without looking up, another squeezed past with a bag of ice and before you could sidestep out of the way, the kitchen had filled in around you completely. There was nowhere left to retreat.
He threaded through the crowd anyway, slipping between shoulders and conversations with determination until he stopped in front of you, wearing the careful expression of someone approaching a frightened animal he believed he could still coax closer. “Haven’t seen you around in a while.”
“Let’s make that a little longer then, wouldn’t that be nice?” you replied with a smile that never quite reached your eyes.
He exhaled through his nose, already looking faintly irritated in that familiar way that told you he'd remembered one of the things he'd disliked most about dating you, your sarcasm. “Come on, don’t be like that–”
“Don’t be like what?” you cut in flatly.
He hesitated, his rehearsed opening clearly unraveling. “I just meant…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m trying to apologize here, okay?”
You let out a humorless laugh. “Great fucking job you’re doing,” you noted with a careless shrug. “Fantastic timing too, just like in the cafeteria.”
He sighed heavily, rubbing a hand across his face as though he could erase the last few weeks with the gesture alone. “I know I fucked up, okay? I tried to text you–”
“You’re blocked.” The interruption came so automatically you barely thought about it.
He paused for half a second before giving a slow, unimpressed nod. “I figured.”
“Good.” You took another sip of your soda before looking back up at him. “I was worried guessing would use up the rest of your brain cells and you wouldn’t have any left by the time exam season came around.”
A dry, humorless laugh escaped him. He glanced around the kitchen instinctively, checking whether anyone had overheard the exchange before his attention settled back on you. “This is all just a fucking game to you, huh?” His eyes dragged over you with thinly veiled annoyance.
“Isn’t that what made you leave?” You shot back, “Only one of us hates losing badly enough to flee.”
“Fuck you,” he bit out sharply. “I didn’t flee.”
“You didn’t stick around to try either.” You stepped forward to press a finger firmly against the center of his chest, the contact making him stiffen. “I fucked you.”
His jaw flexed so hard you thought you heard his teeth grind together. Slowly, almost unconsciously, he took a step backward, your finger slipping away from his shirt.
“Don’t text again,” you finished, your voice suddenly much quieter than before. “I think you’ve wasted enough of each other's time.”
He stared at you for another second, searching your face for something that wasn't there anymore, then he looked away first. Without another word, he turned, disappearing back into the crowd until the moving bodies swallowed him entirely.
You remained where you were, blinking slowly as your pulse settled, willing the humiliation from the cafeteria and the anger sitting hot in your chest to dissolve together into something less exhausting. They stubbornly refused.
Your eyes dropped to the soda can still clutched in your hand. You frowned at it as if it had failed you before lifting it for another long drink, the carbonation stung pleasantly at the back of your throat. You swallowed, exhaled through your nose and muttered under your breath, “I fucking hate being sober.”
“No you don’t.” The voice reached you immediately and it made every muscle in your shoulders relaxed before your brain had even caught up. You turned around so quickly a few drops of soda sloshed over the rim of the can. Relief settled into your chest the second you saw him.
Dean stood just a few steps away, both hands shoved into the pocket of a dark hoodie thrown hastily over a wrinkled Briar hockey T-shirt. A baseball cap sat low on his head, hair escaping around the edges and there were faint shadows beneath his eyes that spoke of too many early practices and not nearly enough sleep. He looked nothing like someone who planned on staying at the party and despite looking completely worn out, seeing him made the crowded kitchen feel infinitely less suffocating.
“Get me out of here,” you sighed, the words leaving you in one long breath. “Please.”
Dean's eyebrows lifted in genuine surprise before one corner of his mouth curled upward. The tiredness hanging around his eyes didn't disappear but it softened beneath a grin he was clearly trying and failing to suppress. “Is that begging I hear?”
Your eyes narrowed sharply. “Make yourself useful, Di Laurentis.”
He nodded with exaggerated thoughtfulness, accepting the challenge as he reached over to pluck the two unopened soda cans from your hands, balancing them effortlessly in one hand. “Front jean pocket,” he instructed, nodding toward your right side. “On your right.”
Your gaze followed the gesture before immediately flicking back up to his face, then, despite yourself, it drifted lower to his jeans. You looked back up at him with unmistakable suspicion and slowly shook your head. “I'm not putting my hand in there,” you decided, lowering your voice instinctively beneath the music. “It's inappropriate…and there's a…” Your eyes darted downward again before returning to his. “…lump.” Doubt colored the last word.
Dean stared at you for a beat before an incredulous laugh escaped him. “Those are my car keys,” he clarified, amusement bleeding into every syllable. “I figured you should wait in my car.” His grin only widened the longer he watched realization dawn across your face. Tilting his head slightly, he studied you with obvious delight. “You think I'm hung like that?”
You straightened, refusing to give him the satisfaction of looking embarrassed. “There was a point where we bathed together before it got weird,” you reminded him matter-of-factly. “I think I know exactly how hung you are.”
His eyebrows climbed. “Seen it recently?”
You snorted. “Your pants don't leave much up to the imagination.”
“Trust me,” he replied with effortless confidence, giving a small shake of his head. “They do.” He nodded once more toward his pocket. “Front pocket. Go on.”
You groaned quietly. “You saying ‘go on’ doesn't somehow make this better, you pervert,” you whisper-yelled, stepping closer so your complaint wouldn't carry past the people milling around the kitchen.
Dean mirrored the movement, leaning down until the two of you were close enough that neither of you had to raise your voices. Around you, the party rolled on without a second glance. Someone behind you was arguing over whose turn it was at beer pong, another group erupted into cheers from the living room and a couple squeezed past carrying more drinks, nobody spared the two of you so much as a curious look.
Dean's eyes lingered on your face, taking in the fake indignation you weren't quite managing to sell.
His smile softened, more playful than teasing. “Don't let those fingers stray, then,” he murmured, his tone light, you couldn't tell whether he was trying to fluster you or simply enjoying how easily you flustered yourself. “I'd hate for you to get distracted.”
You reached forward, hooking a finger through one of Dean's belt loops and giving it a small tug that drew him a step closer without either of you thinking much about it. The movement brought him within arm's reach, the familiar scent of clean detergent, cedar and the lingering bite of cold night air clinging to his hoodie crowded out the smell of beer and cheap liquor filling the kitchen.
You intentionally looked everywhere but at his face as you slipped a cautious hand into his front pocket, determined to keep your attention fixed on finding the keys rather than on the warmth radiating through the denim beneath your fingertips. Your fingers searched carefully until they brushed cool metal.
The two of you stood almost chest to chest now, neither acknowledging just how little space remained between you. “New perfume?” he asked conversationally, though the amusement in his voice was impossible to miss. It was probably the safest compliment he could give you, anything more direct and there was a decent chance you'd retaliate by driving a knee into somewhere he valued quite highly.
Then again, he thought with private amusement, doubling over from the pain would technically put him even closer to you.
“Shut up,” you mumbled, refusing to look at him as you heard him unsuccessfully swallow a laugh. Your index finger finally caught the loop of the keychain and with a victorious little huff you pulled the keys free before quickly retreating a full step as though distance alone could erase how aware you'd just become of him.
You held the keys up between two fingers. “Couple of lumps you've got in there.”
Dean stared at you for half a second before slowly shaking his head. “Poor choice of words.”
You pointed vaguely in the air between the two of you. “Yeah, say that to Allie.”
His brows pinched together. “…What's that supposed to mean?”
“Nothing.” You answered far too quickly before he could pry further. Gesturing toward the crowded rooms beyond the kitchen, you added, “I don't care if they drink, just make sure they have a driver home. We drove here.”
“Yes, ma'am,” he replied with an exaggerated nod and a mock salute. “Garrett's with them anyway. I'll tell him.” Moving to the side, he tipped his head toward the hallway in a silent gesture for you to go first. You squeezed back through the crowd, Dean falling into step close behind you without needing to be asked.
“Alright,” you muttered, fishing your phone out as you carefully navigated around a couple dancing in the middle of the hallway. “I'll text them too.” Your thumbs were already opening the group chat. “Seeing my fuckass ex is enough of an excuse to call it a night.”
Dean's expression, playful until then, quieted as he glanced back toward the kitchen you'd just left before looking down at you, his pace never slowing to make sure you never had to push your way through the crowd alone.
“He's here?” Dean asked, every trace of amusement now fully gone. His shoulders straightened instinctively as his eyes swept back toward the kitchen over his shoulder. “Where?”
You caught him halfway through turning, already reading exactly where his mind was headed. Before he could take a single step, you reached out, your fingers slipping into the waistband, lightly catching against his jeans to tug him back in the opposite direction. “Not the mission,” you reminded him.
Dean's attention dropped briefly to your hand before he let himself be redirected without resistance, falling back into step behind you. “I'm willing to make an exception,” he muttered, though there wasn't much conviction behind it anymore. After a beat, his voice softened. “Did he talk to you?” The concern sat plainly beneath the question.
You hummed in acknowledgment. “And I talked back.” You shrugged as if it had cost you nothing, even if your heartbeat hadn't entirely settled yet. “He won't invade Troy tonight…problem solved.”
By the time you reached the main room again, you rose onto your toes, scanning over the sea of heads for Hannah and Allie. “I saw them over there last.”
Dean followed your gaze before nodding. “They went out back. I'll go find them.” He jerked his thumb toward the street outside. “My car's up there.”
“No detours,” you warned, pointing a finger squarely at his chest. “I'm serious.” You didn't have to explain which detour you meant.
Dean looked at you for a second before lifting both hands innocently. “I'd say I'll keep my eyes down,” he replied, “but then we'd come face to face.” He punctuated the joke with the most exaggerated, insincere shrug imaginable, very intentionally mocking your ex's height.
You couldn't help the laugh that escaped you. “Face to nose if he's wearing his lifts,” you corrected.
“Told you he wasn't that tall,” Dean added, unable to resist sounding just a little smug as he began walking backward toward the sliding door leading outside, keeping his eyes on you until someone bumped into his shoulder and forced him to glance away.
“Yeah, well,” you mumbled as you headed toward the front door instead, weaving between conversations and dancing bodies, “one pair of fakers we were.”
The cool night air met you the second you stepped outside, washing away the suffocating warmth and noise of the packed house. You drew in a deep breath, the distant bass now muffled behind closed walls and doors instead of vibrating through your ribs. Following Dean's directions, you walked up the street beneath the glow of scattered streetlights until you found his car parked along the curb. You unlocked it with a press of the key fob, climbed into the passenger seat,and shut the door behind you. The silence that settled around you felt almost foreign after the chaos inside. You leaned back, letting your head rest against the seat, absently turning the unfinished soda can between your hands while condensation dampened your fingertips.
It wasn't long before the driver's door opened. Dean slid into the seat beside you, shut the door with a solid thud and for a moment neither of you said anything, both simply appreciating the quiet. The two of you sat without moving, facing the windshield as warm orange streetlights painted long streaks across the hood of the vehicle.
“Forgot how to drive?” you asked quietly, turning your head toward him. The question died when you realized he was already looking at you. He hadn't been watching the street ahead at all.
“Forgot I can't read your mind?” he countered, one eyebrow lifting.
“We both know you can,” you replied just as quietly, the corner of your mouth threatening the smallest smile. “Just won’t advertise it.”
Dean held your gaze for another second, searching your face as though deciding whether to challenge that. Instead, he looked away first. He reached for the ignition, started the engine and shifted the car into drive. It wasn't surprising in the slightest when he drove toward your apartment without asking where you wanted to go.
The drive passed in comfortable silence, it didn’t beg to be filled but still acknowledged some conversations deserved better than red lights and passing traffic. Every now and then your eyes drifted toward him, only to find his attention fixed on the road, one hand resting loosely on the steering wheel while the other tapped absentmindedly against the stick shift in time with a song only he seemed to hear.
He glanced at you once at a stoplight, offering a faint, reassuring smile before looking ahead again.
When he parked on campus, neither of you commented on the fact that he killed the engine immediately instead of lingering in the driver's seat. You climbed out together, your footsteps falling into an easy rhythm as you crossed the silent pathways toward your building.
The night air had cooled further, carrying the scent of damp grass and distant rain and Dean stayed close without crowding you, matching your pace while occasionally glancing your way as though weighing a dozen different openings to a conversation he hadn't quite found yet.
You unlocked your apartment door and stepped inside. He followed a second later, pulling the door shut behind him until the click of the lock left the apartment wrapped in familiar silence.
“Not much of a talker these days, I see.” The words carried no accusation. If anything, there was relief in finally saying them aloud after days of carefully skirting around the obvious.
Your replies had shrunk from paragraphs to sentences, then from sentences to a handful of words. Phone calls that once stretched lazily into the early hours now barely lasted a few minutes before one of you found an excuse to hang up. You wandered farther into the living space, slipping your jacket off your shoulders and draping it over the back of the couch.
Beneath it, the fitted top you'd worn out suddenly felt much less out of place than it had at the party. At home, there was no reason to pull the fabric loose or check how much skin it revealed. Hiding from Dean had never really been an option and after everything the two of you had shared, it felt pointless to start now.
“Not much of anything lately,” you mumbled, avoiding his eyes as you smoothed an imaginary wrinkle from the hem of your top.
Even without looking, you could feel his gaze settle on you. It carried none of the hunger that had unsettled you in front of your bedroom mirror days before. Instead, it was patient, concerned, impossibly attentive and that made it even harder to meet. Warmth crept across your skin anyway, a shiver tracing lazily up your spine under the weight of being so thoroughly seen.
Dean took a couple of measured steps forward, stopping before the space between you disappeared entirely. He tilted his head slightly, trying to catch your eyes and finding only your profile. “Did he get into your head?” he asked gently.
The question lingered for barely a heartbeat before you shook your head and finally looked up.
Your eyes found his. “No,” you answered. “You did.” The words came out quietly, stripped of frustration or blame. They weren't meant as an accusation, they mostly sounded like the first honest thing you'd managed to say all week.
“Well,” he breathed, the corners of his mouth lifting into an easy smile, “think I should've gotten first dibs on it before anyone else anyway.” As he spoke, he closed the remaining distance between you with unhurried confidence, leaving barely enough room for a breath to pass between your bodies.
“Funny,” you answered dryly, though the effort it took to keep your expression straight was entirely wasted. Your lips betrayed you, twitching upward despite your best attempts. You rubbed absently at your eyebrow before letting out a sigh, trying to smooth away nerves that refused to settle. “I don't know how to talk to you anymore,” you admitted, the confession falling somewhere between frustration and vulnerability.
It explained the clipped texts, the shortened calls, every conversation that had ended long before either of you had actually wanted it to. Dean's expression softened as he gave the smallest shake of his head, his voice matching the gentleness in his eyes. “That's okay.”
“No, it's not.” Your gaze dropped to your heeled boots, suddenly fascinated by the floor beneath them.
“You're doing it to me,” he replied with certainty. “I would know.” He stepped forward until there was nowhere left for the distance between you to exist. “Look at me.”
The request carried none of the sharpness of a command. It was patient, warm, spoken with the confidence that you'd meet him there eventually. Slowly, you lifted your eyes just as his hands came up to cradle your face, his palms warm against your cheeks, his thumbs resting lightly close to your ears. “It's okay,” he repeated, searching your face as though he intended to make you believe it through persistence alone.
You exhaled through your nose. “Of course you'd think that.”
“Mhm.” The sound vibrated quietly in his throat as he leaned in, brushing the tip of his nose gently against yours. The tiny gesture stole another reluctant smile from you. “Though if you ever say you're not much of anything again,” he murmured, “I'm afraid we're gonna have issues.”
Your hands rose instinctively, settling against his biceps, feeling familiar muscle beneath the soft fabric of his hoodie. “Don't we already?” you asked, smiling properly now.
“My only issue,” he replied without hesitation, “is that I haven't kissed you in two days.” His thumbs brushed lightly across your cheeks. “What's yours?”
“I already told you.” Your smile lingered as he began guiding the two of you backward through the apartment with tiny, measured steps, never pushing or assuming. Every movement left you room to stop him if you wanted to, though you never did.
“And I know you have a close second,” he said quietly.
You hesitated, swallowing once before admitting the thought you'd spent days trying to bury. “…It's embarrassing when the wanting shows.”
Dean's expression softened further. He shook his head once. “And the only person who ever made you feel ashamed of that isn't here anymore.”
Your fingers tightened around his arms without thinking. “It's gonna take a while to unlearn that,” you whispered.
“I can wait,” he answered. There wasn't a trace of impatience in his voice, only certainty. “I happen to know that what comes after is worth a lot more than passing time.”
Your breathing caught slightly. “What comes after, Dean?” you asked, your hands holding him a little tighter as though the answer might slip away if you didn't.
He leaned down until his lips barely grazed yours, close enough for every word to be felt as much as heard. “You.” The single word lingered between your mouths before he continued softly, “Everywhere else it can wait. Until that happens, you cum first.” A teasing smile slowly returned to his lips. “Still think my choice of words is poor?”
A quiet laugh escaped you, so warm it dissolved the last remnants of tension sitting in your chest. “Not if you prove it to be right.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. His mouth found yours with restrained hunger, patient for only the first heartbeat before deepening the kiss. One hand slipped from your cheek to the place where your jaw met your neck, tilting your face upward to meet him fully, while your own fingers disappeared into his hair, threading through the soft curls at the back of his head as every uncertain conversation from the past two days quietly gave way to something the two of you had always understood better than words.
Your tongues moved together with an ease that made the last two days of awkwardness feel impossibly far away, every hesitant thought dissolving into this. Your fingers gradually slipped from his hair, lingering there for a heartbeat before finding the front clasps of your top instead.
You worked at them absentmindedly, your attention never truly leaving him until the kiss eventually broke with a soft, audible pop, though neither of you moved very far.
Dean rested his forehead lightly against yours, his breathing still uneven as his eyes searched your face rather than wandering elsewhere. “Do you need anything?” he asked, his voice low enough that it barely disturbed the silence filling your room. Even as you continued undoing the clasps, he never looked away from your eyes. “Tell me what I can do.”
A small smile tugged at your lips, heat pooling low in your belly at the intensity of his gaze. You finished with the last fastening and shrugged the fabric from your shoulders, letting it slide carelessly to the floor beside your feet. Your breasts spilled free, nipples already tight and aching from the cool air and the weight of his stare before folding your arms loosely across yourself more out of habit than discomfort. “I was hoping you had a plan.”
Dean nodded, his expression turning thoughtful. His gaze drifted around your room instead of lingering on you, as though sorting through possibilities rather than impulses. The lingerie crossed his mind only briefly before he dismissed it, that had helped once but it wasn't something he wanted either of you to rely on.
He pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead before turning away entirely and walking toward your dresser. Pulling open the top drawer, he began looking through it with surprising confidence, as though he vaguely remembered where things belonged from years of friendship spent around you.
“Sure…” you nodded, watching him with growing amusement as you bent to unzip your boots, kicking each one aside before slipping out of your skirt and underwear as well, letting them pool at your feet, leaving you completely bare before him. “Make yourself right at home.”
“We can argue about it later,” he answered without looking over his shoulder, continuing his careful search. “You'll tell me how forward it was of me and I'll agree with whatever punishment or compensation you decide on afterward.” His hand paused before finally lifting a long, narrow scarf from beneath a folded sweater. “This'll do.”
Your eyebrows lifted. “For what?”
Turning back toward you, he crossed the room at an unhurried pace, stopping within arm's reach. The teasing had disappeared from his face, replaced by the same patience he'd shown you all evening.
Holding the scarf loosely in one hand so you could see it clearly, he asked, “Do you trust me?”
You tilted your head, studying him, trying to read whatever idea was taking shape behind his eyes. “I don't think I've ever had to ask myself that.”
“I need you to ask now,” he replied gently. “Do you trust me?” He let the question sit between you before adding, “And if you don't like where this is going, we stop. Immediately…at any point.” His certainty wasn't performative, it was calm, leaving no room for doubt about whether he meant it.
You held his gaze for another moment before answering, your voice barely above a whisper. “I trust you.” A faint smile softened your features. “It's not something I've ever questioned.”
He waited a beat before speaking again, giving you every opportunity to change your mind.
“Turn around.” The instruction was patient, offered rather than imposed. He didn't repeat it when you hesitated, didn't fill the silence that settled between you.
His eyes simply remained on yours as you swallowed, searching his face one last time before slowly turning your naked body away from him until your back faced his chest. You felt him move closer, heard the faint rustle of fabric as he stretched the scarf carefully between both hands. It rested gently over your eyes, the material impossibly soft against your skin before he drew the ends behind your head and tied a secure knot with care.
His fingers lingered, checking that nothing tugged uncomfortably. “Is this too tight?” he asked.
You instinctively shook your head before remembering he would probably request for it to be spoken. “No,” you managed softly.
His hand settled lightly against your hip, the simple contact making your breath catch. With the gentlest pressure, he guided you back around until you faced him once more. Deprived of your sight, every other sensation sharpened, from the warmth radiating from where he stood, to the rhythm of his breathing and the subtle creak of the floor beneath shifting weight.
You heard the soft thud of fabric landing somewhere nearby once he peeled off his hoodie and t-shirt, followed by another low rustle before his footsteps returned. His hands found yours gently, wrapping loosely around your wrists before guiding them upward until your palms rested against the warmth of his bare chest.
He didn't move them any further, leaving the choice entirely to you. Tentatively, your fingertips traced across firm muscle, learning the shape through touch alone. Your confidence grew by degrees, hands exploring broader paths over his shoulders and chest, your nails lightly grazing the contours beneath his skin before drifting lower over the firm lines of his abdomen, pausing briefly at his navel before following the faint trail of hair disappearing beneath the waistband of his jeans.
Your fingers came to rest just above the button. “I want these off,” you breathed.
Dean couldn't help the smile that spread across his face, though you only heard it in the warmth that colored his reply. “You think you're in a position to make demands?”
“That's exactly what I think, Di Laurentis.” You nodded once beneath the blindfold, a small smile tugging at your own lips. “If you want me to play the game, you're going to have to comply a little sooner.”
A quiet chuckle escaped him before it faded just as quickly. When he spoke again, his voice had lost almost all of its teasing edge. “I don't think this is us playing around anymore.” You felt him lean in, his breath brushing against your forehead as he spoke. “I hate that we used that as an excuse.” The frustration threaded through his words was unmistakable, directed inward rather than at you, carrying the weight of every feeling the two of you had hidden behind jokes because admitting them outright had always seemed far more frightening.
You couldn't help but smile at the memory, warmth creeping into your expression. There had been something absurdly innocent about the two of you back then, trusting each other so completely that curiosity had outweighed embarrassment, stumbling into questions neither of you had been old enough to answer, only to leave them hanging for years.
“We were getting too curious,” you murmured, a quiet laugh escaping with the admission.
“Isn't that what's happening now?” he asked, his voice carrying the faintest hint of amusement.
You tilted your head beneath the blindfold, the smile on your lips widening. “You know how to tie your own laces now, don't you?” you teased. He laughed softly before leaning in to press a gentle kiss to your lips. Your hands rose instinctively, finding the sides of his face, your thumbs brushing lightly along his jaw as you returned the kiss with an ease that had finally replaced the uncertainty of the past few days.
His tongue brushed yours, drawing a soft moan from your throat as heat pooled heavier between your thighs and while you kissed, his hands worked open the button of his jeans. You heard the metallic rasp of the zipper, followed by the rustle of fabric as he shoved them down his hips along with his boxers. He kicked off his shoes and stepped out of the rest of his clothes, leaving him gloriously bare. The heat of his body radiated against yours and you could feel the hard length of his cock brushing against your stomach, hot, heavy and already leaking at the tip.
His strong hands slid down your sides, then gripped your waist, lifting you effortlessly as a surprised yelp escaped you, quickly dissolving into a breathless laugh. Your legs wrapped around his hips as you kept kissing, mouths moving together in perfect sync while his muscles flexed beneath your palms as he carried you across the room, the thick head of his erection nudging teasingly against your inner thighs with every step.
He knelt carefully onto the bed, the mattress dipping under your combined weight and gently laid you back against the pillows. Your legs fell open shamelessly, knees bending and parting wide to make room for him. The cool air kissed your dripping pussy, making you acutely aware of how soaked and ready you already were.
Dean settled between your spread thighs, hips brushing the sensitive skin of your inner legs as his lips left yours to trail hot, open-mouthed kisses along the corner of your mouth, your cheek and down the sensitive column of your throat. Then he pulled back, leaving you waiting in the dark, blindfolded and aching.
You reached for him, fingers tracing and caressing every inch of his face from his cheekbones, the slight stubble on his jaw and the curve of his lips, trying to paint his expression in your mind.
His nose nudged affectionately against yours and you felt the warmth of his breath mingle with your own, the thick tension between you crackling like electricity.
He swallowed. “Can I kiss you?” His voice was hesitant, it didn't belong to the confident grin he usually wore. The uncertainty made your brows draw together for the briefest moment before your expression softened into a small, helpless smile.
“I think we're beyond you asking,” you replied, your heartbeat quickening as the silence stretched comfortably between you.
Dean's eyes lingered on your face, before landing on your lips for only a moment before lifting again. “Not on your mouth, Y/n,” he specified shamelessly.
You swallowed hard and nodded softly against the pillows, chest rising and falling faster as you heard the mattress shift under his weight.
His warm lips finally landed on your shoulder, pressing a slow, open-mouthed kiss there before trailing lower. They brushed along your sternum, then settled between your breasts, his hot breath fanning over the sensitive skin. When his mouth closed around one peaked nipple, you gasped sharply. The wet heat of his tongue swirled around the stiff bud, flicking and sucking with just the right pressure, sending jolts of pleasure straight to your core. Your back arched instinctively, pushing more of your breast into his mouth as slick arousal coated your outer lips.
The hand not supporting his weight traced a feather-light path from your knee upward, fingers grazing the soft skin of your inner thigh before reaching the neglected breast. He cupped its full weight, massaging slowly, rolling the nipple between thumb and forefinger while he continued devouring the other, gauging every reaction, squeezing harder when your breathing turned ragged and gentling when you whimpered, learning exactly how you liked to be touched.
When the first nipple was glistening and throbbing from his attention, he switched sides. His mouth claimed the other peak with the same hungry reverence, sucking deeply while his fingers continued to knead the slick, sensitive flesh he’d just left behind, all while low, needy sounds spilled from your throat.
Satisfied, Dean let his tongue drag lower, licking a slow, wet trail down the underside of your breast. He pressed lingering kisses along your ribs, then your stomach, each one audible and intentionally placed, his lips brushed over your navel, teasing the sensitive skin there before venturing even lower. He took his time, kissing the crease where your thigh met your pelvis, then settling fully between your spread legs.
Your heart thundered so loudly in your ears that the rest of the world felt distant. Blindfolded and trembling with need, every other sense was amplified, the heat of his breath against your dripping pussy, the faint scent of your arousal mixing with his and the slight tremble in his hands as he gripped your thighs. He was clearly trying to pace himself, wanting to savor you without rushing, refusing to give your doubts any room to surface.
A broken moan tore from your lips the moment his mouth finally sealed around your swollen clit. The wet heat, the perfect suction and the slow swirl of his tongue, were nearly too much, your hips jerked upward, fingers fisting the sheets as pleasure spread outwards.
He reached up, finding your hand where it gripped the sheets and laced his fingers through yours, squeezing once. The simple touch pulled you back into the moment when your mind threatened to drift.
“Tell me what you like,” he murmured against your pussy, the low vibration of his voice making your clit throb.
Your mind reeled. No one had ever been this patient with you, this attentive, this unwaveringly focused on what you needed instead of how quickly things could move forward. It felt unfamiliar, so much so that part of you didn't quite know what to do with it and the comparison arrived before you could stop it. Your ex had tried a handful of times but his enthusiasm had always faded the moment your body didn't respond on the timeline he expected. He would pull away with a shrug, muttering excuses about not enjoying it or not liking the taste, always making it sound like a matter of preference while leaving the weight of it squarely on your shoulders.
Every abandoned attempt had left you feeling increasingly self-conscious, wondering whether there was something wrong with you, whether you simply asked too much by needing patience instead of urgency.
Your throat tightened around the words before they ever had a chance to leave it. You wanted to explain why his patience mattered so much, why every careful pause and every moment he gave you without expectation made something in your chest ache but the memories felt too tangled, too embarrassing to lay bare.
“I wouldn’t know,” you breathed, voice shaky.
Dean didn't ask what you meant, he didn't press for details you clearly weren't ready to give, nor did he try to fill the silence with speeches that would only skim the surface. He pressed a soft, open-mouthed kiss right over your clit, then answered calmly, “Feel it. I know you can.”
He accommodated, strong hands sliding under your ass to tilt your hips slightly, giving himself better access. His tongue flattened and licked a long, slow stripe from your entrance up to your clit, gathering your wetness and savoring it with a quiet hum of approval. The sound was so genuine it made your cheeks burn.
He repeated the motion again and again with broad strokes that coated his tongue and lips in your slick arousal, then circled your clit with the tip of his tongue, learning the exact pressure that made your thighs twitch. He sucked the swollen nub gently between his lips, holding it there while his tongue flicked it softly. The suction was warm and rhythmic, never rushed or demanding and when your breathing grew uneven, he eased off enough to drag his tongue back down, licking through your folds and pressing the flat of his tongue against your entrance, tasting you deeply.
His saliva mixed with your own arousal, dripping down over your ass and soaking into the sheets beneath you. He kissed your pussy like he was kissing your mouth, slowly and attentively, alternating between gentle licks, soft sucks and lazy swirls of tongue that explored every inch of your most sensitive regions.
The blindfold made it impossible to predict where his tongue would go next, keeping your body in a constant state of anticipatory tension while Dean kept your hand firmly in his, thumb stroking soothing circles over your knuckles whenever he felt you start to tense or overthink.
Every so often he would pull back to press a tender kiss to your mound or the crease of your thigh, murmuring soft, wordless sounds of encouragement against your skin before diving back in. The sensations were overwhelming in their gentleness, relentless patience that made your pussy feel swollen and pulsing under his mouth.
After another slow, savoring pass of his tongue through your folds, he moved lower and pressed the tip of his tongue against your entrance. He circled the tight ring of muscle first teasingly, before pushing inside, gently but insistently. The thick of his tongue slid into you, stretching you open in the most intimate way possible. He fucked you with it in slow, shallow strokes, curling and thrusting, coating himself in the fresh rush of slick that leaked around his mouth while his nose pressed firmly against your clit with every forward motion, rubbing in time with the rhythm of his tongue.
Your skin grew damp with sweat, a light sheen covering your chest and stomach, nipples tightened into painful peaks, aching in the cool air. Your hips rolled and twitched against his face, thighs trembling as they tried to close around his head only to fall open wider again.
Your breathing turned into soft, broken whimpers that even you could tell sounded strained and uncertain. Dean noticed and slowed his movements but didn’t yet stop, still fucking you gently with his tongue, still licking up every drop of your arousal like he couldn’t get enough.
“Mngh…Dean–” you barely managed, his name catching on a shaky breath before your voice gave out entirely. His head lifted rapidly as he pulled away, concern replacing concentration as he searched your expression for any hint of discomfort. Every trace of certainty vanished from his posture, his brows drawing together as he studied you.
One of your hands reached down blindly, grabbing at his shoulder and pulling him upward. Your chest heaved as you struggled to steady your breathing, each inhale feeling a little too shallow to quiet the thoughts racing through your mind. Words crowded against one another, half-formed confessions and old fears tangling together until you couldn't tell where one ended and the next began.
Your other hand shook as it slid down your body, covering your throbbing, soaked pussy, clit pulsing hard under your palm, slick, swollen and too painfully sensitive to keep going. You still weren’t anywhere close to coming and all you could think about was saying the wrong thing, about ruining the fragile safety he'd spent so much time building around you. More than anything, you were terrified of disgust, that subtle withdrawal, the excuses and the feeling of being left unfinished.
Your voice came out small and fragile. “I’m sorry. I’m–fuck, I’m so sorry.”
His hand found your cheek, palm warm against your skin as his thumb brushed slowly beneath the blindfold. He studied your face in silence first, as though making sure you were really listening before he spoke and when he did, there wasn't an ounce of frustration in him. “You don't apologize,” he said firmly, thumb stroking gently across your cheek once more before coming to rest beneath your jaw, encouraging you to keep your chin up. “Not to me.”
One hand stayed wrapped tightly around his arm, fingers digging into the firm muscle as if you were afraid he might pull away despite his words. Your heart hammered so loudly in your ears that you barely registered his words at first. “It just takes really long–”
“Hey…” Dean nudged your face gently with his palm, guiding you back to the present until your racing thoughts quieted. “I would’ve sucked you clean off the bone if you hadn’t pulled me up,” he smiled.
The moment you registered his words, you let out a shaky sob that melted into soft laughter, the tension in your chest finally easing.
“We can try again some other time if you want–”
You were already eagerly nodding before the words had fully left his mouth.
He chuckled, the sound low and breathy against your skin. “Yeah? Did you like it? Was that okay?” His fingertips traced feather-light paths along your sides, your ribs and the curve of your waist, keeping the connection gentle but constant, which he knew you needed.
“Overwhelming,” you breathed, still feeling the lingering slick between your thighs as it cooled and the heavy pulse of your swollen clit against your palm.
“Mmm…Yeah?” His voice dipped with interest.
“Overwhelming’s good,” you continued softly. Your body felt flushed and sensitive all over, like it needed that intensity just to begin learning how to let go. “I like feeling you close.”
“How close?” he teased, his nose brushing slowly along the side of your jaw, warm breath tickling your skin.
“Really fucking close,” you whispered, guiding his face until his lips met yours in a deep, slow kiss. You could taste yourself on his tongue, tangy, slightly sweet and undeniably intimate, nothing like you had imagined. Dean moved his tongue against yours with the same patience he had shown between your legs, licking into your mouth with quiet groans of pleasure that vibrated through your chest.
“Tastes like fucking heaven,” he rasped when you finally parted for air.
Your nails dug into his shoulders as you pulled him closer, until your chests pressed together, skin hot and slightly damp with sweat as the hard length of his cock rested heavily against the soft inside of your thigh, twitching every time you moved.
You smiled against his lips, letting out a teasingly doubtful hum. “Careful there…might be disappointed when you go.”
“Doubt it. If there is one, you’re going there too.” The smug happiness in his voice made you laugh, the sound light and breathless. He responded by pressing a flurry of soft kisses all over your face, cheeks, nose, forehead and the corner of your mouth, while his cock dragged teasingly along your inner thighs, leaving a faint trail of precum on your skin.
Your laughter quickly faded into quiet, needy moans, inciting your own hand to apply pressure against your still-throbbing pussy, fingers slipping through the mess of slick there in an attempt to relieve the area. Dean lifted his upper body slightly, looking down between you as he stilled the accidental roll of his hips and you moaned again at the loss of friction.
“I could get closer,” he breathed, voice rough with want. “Want me to do that?”
Your legs parted wider in silent invitation as you nodded against the pillow, heart racing.
“Let me see you,” he spoke softly. It wasn't a command, more of a gentle suggestion, one he waited patiently for you to consider. You slowly moved your hand away, exposing your glistening, swollen pussy to him once more while you tried to picture the expression on his face, the way his eyes would darken with hunger and affection. “Do you have condoms?” he asked carefully.
“Closer, Dean,” you echoed, voice small but sure. “I want you as close as you can get right now.” You paused, ears straining for any change in his breathing. “I’ve never…” You trailed off, taking a deep, steadying breath. “I’m clean. I take my birth control–”
“Me neither.” His forehead dropped against yours, breath warm on your lips. “I just want you to be sure.”
You swallowed, nodding as your hands roamed up and down his arms and across his broad shoulders, feeling the tension and warmth of his muscles. His pulse jumped under your touch. “I would want it to be with you,” you confessed, bare and vulnerable.
He went still above you, the words knocking something loose. “I've always wanted it to be with you,” he breathed, the honesty in his voice wrapping around you like a second skin.
With a deep, measured breath, he wrapped his hand around the thick base of his cock, stroking it once before pressing the blunt, leaking head right against your slick entrance. Hovering over you, he braced his forearm beside your head, eyes remaining locked on your face as he pushed in leisurely until he sank deep in one long, continuous thrust.
Both of you moaned openly, lips falling slack at the intense sensation. He filled you completely, stretching your walls around his girthy length, stealing the breath right from your lungs. At the same moment, he reached up and gently tugged the blindfold away, letting you finally see him, your eyes glassy with overwhelmed tears as they met his, the eye contact undoing you more than the fullness between your legs.
You whimpered, voice breathless. “I hate that you might be right.”
“About?” he chuckled softly, staying buried to the hilt while he gave you time to adjust, eyes tracing over your face like he was trying to memorize it.
“Thinking highly of your dick…” You swallowed hard, your pussy fluttering and clenching around the solid invasion. “It sure is there.”
“Focus on it then,” he grinned, that cocky yet tender expression making your chest tighten. His gaze dropped to your lips, then back up as though he couldn't settle on one place to look.
“Not much else I can do,” you admitted, voice shaky, the words barely making it out whole.
Dean leaned down, catching your mouth with his, searching and wanting to swallow the shakiness right out of you. Only when you softened against him did he begin to move, shallow at first, drawing back only a few inches before sliding back in, letting you feel every inch of him dragging along your sensitive inner walls. Each time he bottomed out, his pelvis pressed firmly against your clit, sending sparks of sharp pleasure through you. Your body rocked beneath him with every careful thrust, the wet, intimate sound of your joined bodies filling the room alongside your shared breathing.
“Talk to me,” he murmured, eyes never leaving your face as he kept an unhurried pace, rolling into you repeatedly. He watched for every flicker, every little crease between your brows and twitch at the corner of your mouth, searching for the exact angle and depth that made your expression soften with bliss instead of tension. “What’s on your mind?”
“You,” you answered immediately, the most honest thing you could say.
His smile deepened with satisfaction but he wanted more than what was at the surface, what he knew you thought he wanted to hear. His thumbs brushed tenderly across your temples, easing your mind. “What’s around it?”
“How…” A moan interrupted you as he rolled his hips just right, cock stroking a spot inside you that made your toes curl. “Just how much I’ll want you to believe me when I say this was good…once it’s over. I know it will be.” Your breathing came in heavy pants now, chest rising and falling against his. “Even when…when I won’t–”
“If,” he corrected gently but firmly, still thrusting steadily as the head of his cock dragged deliciously along your walls on every withdrawal, then pushed back in deep. “That’s if you don’t.” He paused, “Listen to me, I don’t think there’s anything you’d tell me that I wouldn’t believe.”
“Well…I need you to be sure,” you pressed, blinking rapidly to keep the tears from spilling. Vulnerability sat raw in your throat, each word feeling like it cost you something you couldn't get back. Your nails dug crescents into his sides, holding on like he might disappear the second you finished the thought. “Please, be sure.”
“Certain,” he nodded, then leaned down closer, forehead nearly touching yours, eyes locked so you could see the sincerity burning there. “I’m right here with you, now and after this.”
He maintained the thrusts long and measured, pulling almost all the way out until only the swollen head remained inside you, letting you feel the stretch as he sank back in again, its slick glide was audible with every meeting of your bodies. Sweat beaded along his collarbone and dripped onto your chest as he held himself above you, muscles flexing with control.
His pelvis kissed your clit on every downstroke, rubbing in slow circles when he stayed buried deep, grinding the sensitive bundle of nerves until your thighs trembled around his hips.
When your brows creased a little too tightly, he adjusted the angle, tilting his hips until the sensation smoothed your expression again. He watched your eyes and mouth, learning your body in real time, focused entirely on making this feel safe and good rather than chasing his own end, he simply wanted to be connected to you.
Your walls hugged him tightly, fluttering with every push, your wetness coating his shaft and easing each deep slide while you could feel the way his cock throbbed inside you, the subtle twitch it gave when you clenched around him. He drew his cock back slowly so you could feel every ridge and vein dragging along your inner walls before sinking back in.
Your breath hitched sharply, as if that alone told him everything he needed to know, he repeated the motion, slower this time letting you feel the full drag and press of him. He pulled out almost completely on the next stroke, just the swollen tip resting inside you, before sliding back in with one smooth thrust that forced a whimper from your throat, strokes that let you savor the way your pussy stretched around his thickness, the way your walls fluttered and clenched trying to keep him inside.
Your hands roamed his back, nails lightly scoring his skin as another deep thrust made your feet arch and when your brows drew together in concentration, he moved again, tilting his hips, changing the depth. Near the end of a dragging stroke, he reached down and hooked one hand behind your knee. He lifted your leg slowly, draping it over his hip and higher along his side, opening you up further, the new angle letting him press deeper. He rolled his hips upward on the next thrust, driving his cock into you with a smooth, upward grind that rubbed directly against a spongy pillow inside while his pelvis continued to crush against your clit.
Your whole body reacted at once, back arching hard as a broken moan spilled from your lips.
“Right there, mmh?” he cooed, voice low and warm, repeating the exact same rolling motion. “Try that for a bit?”
You nodded quickly, eyes falling shut as you surrendered to the sensation. His cock stroked along that perfect angle with every upward push, the head pressing right where you needed it most, pussy clenching tightly around him and soaking his cock even more with every grind.
Dean kept watching you, even as your eyes stayed closed. He studied the way your head tilted back against the pillow, the rapid rise and fall of your chest, the way your lips trembled on every moan. He adjusted the angle of his hips in tiny increments, searching for the rhythm that would keep those creases of wonder on your face. The emotional weight of his attention made your throat tight, he wasn't just fucking you, he was tuned in completely, making sure you felt safe and cherished in every stroke.
“M–middle,” you moaned, voice breaking on the word.
Dean adjusted accordingly, angling his cock exactly where you needed him but before he could even settle into the new position, a raw, wanton moan tore from your throat and your back arched sharply off the bed as your eyes opened.
“Breathe,” he instructed gently, locking eyes with you and giving a slow, reassuring nod. His thumb brushed over your parted lips. “Breathe,” he repeated, “Focus on what you know.”
He kept moving in that centered, precise rhythm, strokes that dragged his thick cock along the same devastating path inside you.
“Mmpppff,” Your eyes fluttered shut as the pleasure built higher, one hand dug into his shoulder, nails biting into his skin while you struggled to draw full breaths. You tried to focus only on the slick drag of his cock entering and leaving your pussy, the way your walls stretched and clenched around his girth, the constant wet sounds of your bodies meeting.
“There you go. That's it,” he husked, bending lower to press a soft kiss to each of your closed eyelids. The new angle drove him even deeper, he pressed forward, settling his weight fully over you and nudging his face into the crook of your neck. Your moans became continuous, loud and broken, spilling from your open mouth without pause.
Dean groaned against your neck, low and desperate sounds vibrating through your skin and making you even hornier. His own unfiltered whimpers and heavy breathing mixed with yours as the position allowed you to breathe him in, sweat, skin and sex, chest heaving beneath his weight.
For several thrusts, no sound came out of you at all. Your mouth hung open in a silent cry, breath caught somewhere between your chest and your throat, refusing to let go. The pressure inside you coiled tighter than you'd ever known, winding higher with every drag of him, every muscle in your body drawn taut and ready to snap.
It was new, unfamiliar with an edge of fear threading through it, a building intensity you had no name for or memory to compare it to. Your fingers curled hard into his shoulder, keeping yourself against a feeling that seemed too big for your body to hold.
A sudden, sharp gasp tore from your lungs, followed immediately by a sob that shook your entire frame. The orgasm crashed over you, deep, vaginal and violently intense, unlike anything you'd known your body capable of. Your pussy clamped down hard around his cock in rhythmic contractions that squeezed him in waves as pure ecstasy ripped through you. For one disorienting second you didn't know whether to cry or laugh, caught between the shock of it and the sheer relief of finally breaking. You sobbed openly, tears spilling down your temples and into your hair, a startled laugh bubbling up right alongside them.
“Mmhnhgh…fuck, fuck, fuck!” you cried, voice wrecked and trembling as the pleasure kept rolling through you in devastating pulses. Your walls fluttered and pulsed wildly around his thrusting cock, soaking him even more.
Dean groaned deeply at the sensation, his hips stuttering for a moment before he forced himself to keep moving, drawing out every last tremor of your orgasm. A quiet laugh escaped him, disbelieving and reverent, the sound punched loose from his chest before he could stop it. He stared down at you, eyes wide, drinking in the sight of your face gone soft and open, tears streaking your temples and lips parted around broken breaths. You looked undone in the most beautiful way he'd ever seen and for a second his vision blurred, his head going light with it.
He blinked hard, jaw tight, willing himself to hold it together as your walls kept squeezing him greedily, refusing to let him go.
He fucked you through it with careful, deep strokes, prolonging the pleasure until your body trembled beneath him. You felt impossibly wet, your arousal and his precum mixing and leaking out around his cock with every thrust.
The first orgasm had barely begun to fade when his pelvis ground harder against your swollen clit with each rolling thrust. The added stimulation pushed you straight into a second, clitoral orgasm that blindsided you, entirely different from the first and brighter too now as many sensations arrived all at once for your mind to sort through. Your thigh quivered violently against his side as bright pleasure exploded outward from your clit, blending with the deep, pulsing contractions still rippling through your core. You cried out again, fresh tears streaming down your face as the dual sensations overwhelmed every nerve in your body.
Your vision whited out for several seconds, your entire body locking up and then shaking apart in his arms. Sobs mixed with desperate moans as wave after wave rolled through you, leaving you raw and shattered in the best possible way.
Dean bent down and kissed away your tears, the salt of it lingering on his lips. “That's how you're supposed to feel,” he hushed against your temple, voice rough with awe and restraint.
“Nnngh, can’t–” you managed, lips parted, chasing words that wouldn't come.
“I know, I know,” he soothed, voice thick. “Gotta let it happen.”
Dean kept thrusting for as long as he could, fucking you through the tail end of your orgasms. His hips snapped forward a few more times, chasing his own release, less controlled than anything he'd let himself be before.
With a wanton whimper, he buried himself to the hilt and came hard, harder than he ever remembered coming, raw and unguarded, shaking with the force of it. Thick, warm pulses of his cum spilled deep inside you, flooding your pussy with heat that made you shudder, your oversensitive body twitching around him as his cock throbbed and jerked against your walls.
He stayed inside you, breathing heavily against your neck, neither of you speaking and just letting the last tremors settle.
After a moment he pulled back reluctantly, until there was just room between your bodies for both of you to look down and watch. He gave a few shallow, unhurried thrusts, fucking his cum deeper into you, the creamy mixture leaking out around his cock with every small movement. You were both transfixed by the filthy, intimate sight, watching each slow slide, neither of you willing to look away until his cock finally stopped twitching.
With one final thrust he stilled completely, buried deep inside you and let his forehead drop to your shoulder.
Neither of you moved.
The room went quiet except for your shared, rasped breathing and underneath it, the faint hitch of his breath catching, over and over in quiet little hiccups he couldn't smooth out no matter how he tried. You ran your hands slowly up and down his back, soothing the tremor still running through him and caught the small, wet sniffle against your skin, proof that he'd cried too, that this had undone him just as much as it had undone you.
You finally felt like you could breathe again. Every muscle in your body went limp as you melted into the mattress, utterly spent, tears still drying on your cheeks and Dean's warm weight pressing you down in the most comforting way possible.
You kissed while stubbornly blinking back tears, holding yourselves together until you simply couldn't anymore. Time dissolved into something shapeless, measured only by slow breaths, racing hearts and bodies pressed together. The sheets twisted around your limbs and for the first time, your body didn't feel like something you had to apologize for.
When Dean finally moved, he did it with an achingly slow pace. He kissed you deeply, tongue dancing with yours while he began to pull out, as though the press of his lips could somehow stop the inevitable. You whimpered softly into his mouth at the feeling, his thick cock sliding from your sensitive, cum-filled pussy in one continuous, wet glide.
A thick trickle of your shared release followed, leaking slowly down your folds and onto the sheets. The sudden emptiness left you aching and strangely bereft, even as his tongue continued to stroke gently against yours through the loss.
Whatever this was afterward, it was unlike anything you'd ever experienced.
“Stay right here,” he murmured against your lips once they parted.
Dean eased himself out of bed shortly to start the shower, testing the water with the back of his hand until the temperature was just right before returning for you. He wrapped an arm around your waist and picked you up bridal style, carrying you into the bathroom and taking your weight without making you feel incapable.
Then guided you beneath the warm stream. Steam gradually filled the room while he took his time cleaning you, soapy hands moving with care over every inch of your skin, washing away sweat and the evidence of your shared pleasure, pausing every so often to brush a kiss against your shoulders, the back of your neck, the curve of your spine, or inside of your wrist.
He slipped away for a moment with a parting kiss, only to strip the bed and remake it with fresh sheets before returning the instant he heard the water stop.
You couldn't help but stare as he stepped into the bathroom doorway. A clean towel was already waiting in his hands, along with clean underwear and a pair of pajamas he'd unearthed from your dresser, and with obvious satisfaction, one of the hoodies he'd been insisting had mysteriously disappeared months ago.
Another towel hung dangerously low on his own hips, barely clinging to the sharp cut of his pelvis. Droplets of water still clung to his skin, tracing slow paths down the defined lines of his abs and the deep V that disappeared beneath the towel. The sight made your breath catch all over again, his body glistening, relaxed and impossibly attractive in the soft bathroom light.
Dean noticed your gaze and gave you a small, knowing smirk but said nothing. He set the clothes aside and got to work, drying your skin carefully section by section, working moisturizer into every inch of you with soothing strokes and helping you into the soft fabric of your clean underwear and pajamas. Then he carried you back to the freshly made bed despite your quiet insistence that you could walk.
After fluffing your pillows and tucking the blankets around you, he finally took a moment to dry himself off and pull on his boxers. Only then did he return to your bedside, lean down and press a gentle kiss to the crown of your head before lingering there for a moment, as though reassuring himself that you were comfortable and finally at peace.
“I'll go raid your cabinets for something to eat,” he said quietly, palm moving slowly over your hair in absent, soothing strokes as he looked down at you. His thumb brushed lightly against your temple before his hand slipped away.
It was far too late to order food and even if somewhere nearby was still open, you doubted you had the energy for anything more substantial than a few bites. A tired smile tugged at your lips as you gave him a small nod but the moment he stepped away from the bed, your chest tightened unexpectedly, eyes following him across the room as though distance alone suddenly felt wrong.
Dean noticed the movement out of the corner of his eye but kept walking toward the bedroom door. “If you hear something heavy drop,” he said over his shoulder, a teasing grin returning now that the weight of the evening had begun to lighten, “that's probably just me hiding from Hannah and Allie if it comes down to it.”
A quiet chuckle escaped you as you turned your head toward the clock resting on your bedside table, the glowing numbers confirming just how late it had become. “Doubt they'll be back tonight,” you murmured, your voice rough with exhaustion.
Dean paused with one hand resting against the doorframe. Instead of leaving, he turned back to look at you properly. His teasing expression faded as he searched your face, trying to read what you needed without making assumptions but he knew tonight had been overwhelming in more ways than one. Maybe you wanted to be alone now, to untangle your thoughts in private before either of you tried putting words to everything that had changed between you.
He wouldn't force that conversation tonight if you weren't ready. “I can go,” he relented, the offer sincere enough that you knew he'd leave without hesitation if that was what you wanted.
Your hands fidgeted restlessly with the edge of the blanket gathered over your lap, smoothing wrinkles before twisting the fabric between your fingers again. You gave the smallest shake of your head, so slight it was nearly impossible to notice.
“I'd rather you didn't.” The words came out quietly. Your gaze drifted away from him, settling instead on the dark window across the room where your reflection stared back faintly against the glass.
You drew in a slow, steadying breath. If there was ever such a thing as good timing, you doubted either of you had managed to stumble across it tonight, then again, maybe there never would've been a perfect moment for this. All you knew was that you were tired of keeping parts of yourself hidden from him.
Dean remained exactly where he was. He didn't move closer, didn't interrupt or rush to fill the silence stretching between you.
“I think I love you,” you admitted at last, it felt strangely fragile once spoken.
Your eyes finally lifted to meet his as you blinked quickly, trying to keep the fresh sting of tears from spilling over, you'd already cried enough for one night.
Dean's expression didn't morph into surprise. Instead, he nodded once, his head tilting and his answer arriving with a tenderness that marked you more than if he'd been shocked. “I know that.”
A breathy laugh escaped you, your head shaking as you smiled weakly. You should've known he’d say that. The two of you had said those words before, they'd existed between you for years in birthday cards, sleepy phone calls, goodbye hugs and reassurances before exams or after bad days, less frequently as you'd grown older, perhaps but they had never truly disappeared.
This was different, though, you'd hoped he'd hear it in your voice. “No…not like that.” You swallowed, clearing your throat before trying again. “The…the other way.” The confession sat awkwardly on your tongue, still too new to fit comfortably. “It's probably going to take me a while to figure out that one too.” You let out a self-conscious laugh that barely qualified as one. “I just thought…I'd give you a heads-up.” Your fingers tightened around the blanket. “In case…you have time to stick around for that too.”
Your eyes dropped back to your hands, unable to bear watching disappointment if it appeared.
For a long second, the room remained perfectly still, then Dean smiled. It was far from the teasing grin he wore so effortlessly, a smile touched with years of memories only the two of you shared.
“I know, baby,” he ventured.
His fingertips tapped absently against the doorframe as scenes from years ago drifted through his mind of the two of you, younger and convinced you were being impossibly sneaky, sitting shoulder to shoulder in playgrounds you'd long since outgrown after the sun had gone down, hiding behind climbing frames and plastic tunnels simply because they gave you somewhere to be alone together.
Memories of fingers laced together in the dark, shared laughter muffled into sleeves and the first time your mouths had met almost by accident, followed by another and another, both of you pretending each one had been just as thoughtless as the last since acknowledging it felt far more frightening than simply letting it happen again.
“I never thought we'd grow out of it,” he admitted, his eyes never leaving yours. “You've never been an enigma to me…Of course, I have time,” he murmured. “I've loved you for as long as I can remember. For you, I’ve always had time.”
He smiled softly and everything inside you slid into place.
Oh, love. The nostalgia returned with childlike wonder. How long had it been waiting for you to find your way back to the playground?
a/n: Comments, likes and reblogs really do mean the world and help more than you know! More stories will be added to the archive soon, so stay tuned for new content. Thank you so much for reading! 🤍
I absolutely loved your last Dean story!! I was wondering if you would be able to write about a reader who has never been able to finish, with herself or anyone else, and dean helps her learn.
Beautiful writing!
I would've done that sober
Pairing: Dean Di Laurentis x childhood best friend!reader
⟡ Main Index | ⟡ Archive for Earth-66
☆ Read part 2 here!!
a/n: Well that was long, but such a delight to write and soooo so sexy
Classification: Smut +18 | Talks of ex's and sexual dysfunction/insecurity, emotional vulnerability, recreational drug use (NOT DURING SEX), dry humping/grinding, getting caught, fingering, tension and arousal descriptions, orgasm, praise and partial undressing/lingerie.
Word count: 12k
Divider by me ;)
You sat across from the fire pit in the boys’ backyard, elbows resting on the armrests of your chair while the flames cracked softly in front of you both. The night air had turned colder hours ago, but neither of you had gone inside. Dean kept talking and you kept letting him or trying to.
Every time he opened his mouth, you exhaled slowly through your nose as if physically releasing air might stop you from interrupting him.
“He’s an arrogant son of a bitch,” Dean repeated for probably the fifth time that night. He took another drag from the blunt before passing it toward you, smoke curling past his lips as he leaned back deeper into the chair.
“That’s what pisses me off the most,” he continued, staring hard into the fire like your ex-boyfriend personally offended him. “He had no clue what he was doing in the relationship from day one and still had the confidence to ask you out.” His jaw tightened slightly. “Usually I respect delusion like that, but that guy’s a fucking disaster.”
You accepted the blunt with a quiet sigh.
Dean had been ranting for nearly a week straight now. Anyone overhearing him would’ve assumed he’d been the one publicly dumped in the cafeteria instead of you but he’d been there when it happened, front row seats to your ex fumbling through excuses while half your friends sat frozen around the table pretending not to listen. Maybe that was enough for Dean.
Now, instead of being out partying with the rest of the team, he sat outside with you night after night, sharing weed and acting personally victimized by your breakup.
“Dean,” you finally interrupted, tone firm.
He stopped talking immediately.
You inhaled slowly before looking over at him through the smoke, holding his gaze while you exhaled. “It’s okay.”
Dean’s expression flattened instantly. “We have very different definitions of okay.”
His eyes drifted back toward the fire for a second, replaying the memory again. You could practically see it happening behind his eyes, the cafeteria, your expression and your ex stumbling through his speech.
“You should’ve let me talk to him,” he muttered.
“What good would that have done?” You brought the blunt back to your lips, inhaling before handing it over again. “It’s not his fault.”
Dean’s head snapped toward you so fast he nearly dropped the thing. “The fuck does that mean?”
You almost rolled your eyes at the offense in his tone. Instead, you looked away toward the fire again, watching orange light flicker against the patio stones.
“I’m lost here,” he scoffed. “Is being wrapped around another girl at a party three hours after dumping you not a dick move now?”
A laugh slipped out of you before you could stop it. “Dean,” you said gently, finally turning your head toward him again. “I think I’m the only person who wasn’t surprised by the breakup.”
His brows furrowed.
You shrugged one shoulder lightly. “He just beat me to it.”
“Oh.” The word left him quietly. Dean looked away immediately afterward, dragging a hand over his mouth while he gathered his thoughts before glancing back at you. “That’s the first time I’m hearing about that.”
He passed the blunt over again.
You took it carefully, staring down at it between your fingers for a second before answering.
“Yeah, well...” You inhaled deeply, smoke burning pleasantly in your lungs before you let it back out slowly. “You’ve got other business to worry about.”
Dean huffed out a laugh instantly. “You are my business.” The certainty in his voice made your lips curl before you could stop them. “So start talking.”
He always did that. Dean had this way of making honesty feel inevitable. The two of you talked about everything, always had. He knew things about you your closest friends didn’t. Hell, he’d bought condoms for you the first time you planned on sleeping with someone because you’d been too embarrassed to walk into the store yourself.
You moved deeper into the chair, pulling one leg beneath you while you searched carefully for the right words. “Um…” You inhaled again, then blurted it out before your brain could stop you. “I suck at the sex thing.”
Dean’s face twisted immediately in disagreement as you passed the blunt. “Bullshit.”
You laughed softly. “No, seriously. I do.” You rubbed awkwardly at your neck before continuing. “Turns out not being able to cum eventually becomes an issue when your partner realizes you never actually have with them.”
Dean’s expression changed instantly. Every conversation you’d ever had about sex clearly started replaying in his head at once because confusion hit him violently.
“But you told me–”
“I lied.” The words came out easier than expected. You shrugged lightly, though your stomach still tightened. “I’ve been lying for years...Faking it until I got tired of faking it and started bruising egos.” A humorless smile tugged briefly at your mouth. “Including mine.”
Dean stayed quiet now so you stared into the fire instead.
“I just…” You exhaled slowly. “I don’t think sex is really my thing.” Your shoulders lifted. “I like the idea of it. I enjoy parts of it…but everyone talks about this huge explosive ending and I just…” You shook your head. “Don’t get there…naturally people stop believing you when you say it was still good.”
Dean watched you carefully. “Was it?”
“The sex?” You let the silence drag for a second before shrugging again. “I think so.” Your lips twitched faintly. “It was good enough to build better stories around afterward.”
Dean stopped smoking entirely after that. The blunt burned slowly between his fingers while he stared down at it, suddenly looking far more sober than either of you probably were. He looked like he was trying to organize his thoughts before speaking again.
“How about alone?” The question came softly, carefully.
If you didn’t know him so well, you might’ve mistaken the look on his face for pity. Thankfully, you did know him, which meant you recognized concern immediately.
You shook your head slowly. “That’s why I’m saying it’s not his fault.”
“It’s not yours either,” Dean argued as he flicked the rest of the blunt into the fire pit before continuing. “It just hasn’t happened yet.” His voice softened further. “Doesn’t mean it never will.”
You let out a slow breath, eyes closing briefly as the weed finally started loosening the tension sitting on your shoulders. “It’s definitely not from lack of trying.”
You could feel him staring at you even with your eyes closed.
The silence stretched comfortably after your confession, softened by the crackling fire and the distant chorus of crickets surrounding the backyard. The flames had started dying down, wood collapsing inward with quiet snaps while smoke drifted lazily into the cold night air.
Dean still hadn’t looked away from you. “So what now?” he asked finally.
You swallowed slowly, still keeping your eyes shut. For a second or maybe an entire minute, Dean genuinely thought you’d fallen asleep mid-conversation.
Then your lips twitched. “Celibacy.”
The offended sound that tore out of him made your smile widen. You heard him trying to hold it back too, which honestly made it funnier but this was Dean. Subtle outrage had never once existed in his body.
“Think I’d look hot as a nun?” you asked lazily.
“You’d look hot in a banana costume wearing clown shoes six sizes too big,” he replied instantly. “And you’re absolutely not dropping out of Briar to become a nun. End of discussion.”
His tone came out firm enough to sound ridiculous considering he had absolutely no authority over your life whatsoever.
You finally peeled your eyes open to look at him. The weed had settled into your bones now, leaving you heavy and relaxed against the chair. Dean looked hazy too, hair falling perfectly while the firelight flickered warm across his face.
“You’re not giving up because some five-eleven idiot couldn’t be patient long enough to figure you out.”
You grinned. “He’s six-one.”
Dean scoffed. “He tried out for the Hawks freshman year. Trust me, he’s five-eleven.”
Your brows lifted. Dean kept going without needing encouragement, already slipping into that protective streak he pretended wasn’t there. He always collected information about people around you, quietly filing it away for future use whenever he deemed necessary.
“He was wearing lifts during tryouts,” Dean added smugly. “One bad pivot and the guy almost snapped an ankle.”
A laugh escaped you softly.
“If you wanna stop having sex altogether, God forbid–”
“You should become a priest,” you interrupted.
Dean barked out a laugh, tipping his head back. “Yeah,” he nodded. “It’d probably take a year and a half to cleanse my sins.” He pointed toward himself loosely. “And that’s assuming I don’t burst into flames the second I walk into a church.” His eyes drifted back to you. “Can I continue now?”
“Yes, Father,” you replied through a chuckle.
Dean shook his head, smiling despite himself before settling deeper into his chair again.
“If you really wanna do the celibacy thing, fine.” He shrugged dramatically. “I’ll support you. We’ll find support groups together and hold hands through the trauma.” His mouth twitched. “Though personally, I’d go through withdrawals first.”
“How solidary of you.”
He nodded solemnly. “Exactly. Plus I can probably add it to my extracurriculars somehow.”
You laughed harder at that, shoulders shaking slightly as you leaned back into the chair. “You’re so fucking stupid.”
Dean watched you carefully while you laughed. The sound came out lighter than anything he’d heard from you all week, chest rising and falling unevenly while your eyes squeezed shut again for a second and suddenly the conversation stopped feeling funny to him.
Because underneath the jokes, underneath the weed and the teasing, he kept thinking about what you’d actually said earlier. About you trying and nothing happening.
Dean loved sex. Everyone knew that much about him but you did too or at least you loved wanting it, loved feeling desired, loved the intimacy, the heat and everything wrapped around it and now all he could think about was how frustrating that must’ve been for you. Wanting something everyone else talked about so easily only for your body not to cooperate no matter how hard you tried.
The thought sat badly in his chest. Dean looked down at the dying fire for a second before his eyes lifted back to you.
“Use me,” he blurted out.
Your laughter faded gradually after his words, the smile still lingering at the corners of your mouth while your eyes settled back on him even more carefully this time.
“What do you mean?”
Dean didn’t even hesitate. “I’ll be your last resort,” he repeated easily, like he’d already thought this through far more than he probably had. “Aren’t you always telling me to make myself useful?”
You narrowed your eyes, blinking slowly through the haze settling heavier behind them.
“What exactly are you suggesting?” You rubbed at one eye with the heel of your hand. “Because I’m starting to think I hallucinated that sentence.”
“I hold my weed better than you,” he reminded you smugly.
That part, unfortunately, was true. Dean leaned forward in his chair, elbows resting against his knees now, all lazy amusement gone strangely sincere beneath the teasing.
“You wanna quit? Fine.” He shrugged. “Quit when you’re actually out of options.”
A quiet huff left you, somewhere between disbelief and laughter. “Didn’t realize Six Flags counted as an option.” Your lips twitched faintly. “I hate rollercoasters.”
Dean nodded decisively. “Then I’ll go out of business.”
“You’ll close the park?”
“I’ll shut the whole thing down,” he promised solemnly. “Just so you can ride the teacups.” The grin spreading across his face warned you half a second too late. “Remember when you threw up on the–”
“Yes,” you cut him off immediately, flat and horrified. “I remember.”
Dean laughed anyway. Full-bodied, warm and entirely too pleased with himself as he pointed at you. “You were crying,” he accused through the laughter. “You kept saying your stomach hated you–”
“I was fifteen.”
“And dramatic.” He added. “But so cute…less mouthy too.”
“You held my hair while I threw up into a trash can behind the funnel cake stand.”
Dean’s laughter softened slightly at that memory. Back then he’d been genuinely terrified something was wrong with you. He’d hovered beside you the entire night looking pale enough to pass out himself while you recovered on a bench wrapped in his sweatshirt. Now he just looked fond.
You glanced away first, eyes dropping back toward the dying fire while your thoughts started turning over his earlier suggestion again despite yourself.
It could go horribly. Actually, no, it would go horribly. There were at least seventeen reasons this crossed every boundary imaginable. You already hated rollercoasters, hated fast turns and hated giving up control over literally anything involving your body and Dean…Well, Dean was Dean.
Confident, experienced, annoyingly good-looking and unarguably good at sex if campus rumors counted for anything and unfortunately they definitely did. You hadn’t exactly conducted research firsthand but after years of hearing stories from girls around campus, the reviews were embarrassingly consistent.
“You really think that highly of your dick?” you asked finally.
Dean shrugged lazily against the chair. “Nobody said anything about using it.”
That made your eyes snap back to him fully. “And if nothing works?” you asked quieter this time.
The question slipped out more honestly than intended because suddenly you weren’t thinking about sex anymore. You were thinking about aftermaths, about what happened if this ruined things between you. Dean had woven himself into your life years ago so naturally that imagining him gone felt impossible now.
You genuinely didn’t know how you’d survive losing him too.
Dean studied you for a second and for once the confidence in his face softened into something steadier. “Then we fail,” he decided.
You swallowed.
His grin returned slowly afterward, softer around the edges. “Fail with me,” he corrected. “Fail better.” He pointed between you both lazily. “Fail together.”
A laugh escaped you despite every effort not to give him one.
You rolled your eyes hard enough to make him grin wider, shaking your head while the weed continued smoothing the sharp corners off your thoughts. The night air no longer felt cold against your skin and embarrassment had slowly stopped existing somewhere during the conversation. Maybe that was the dangerous part and not Dean’s suggestion but how easy it suddenly felt to consider it.
You didn’t bring it up again for the rest of the night and neither did Dean.
When the rest of the guys stumbled back into the house loud and half-drunk sometime after midnight, he changed back into normal so smoothly it almost irritated you. He made sure you had food, water, your charger and then bullied one of the sober freshmen into driving you home while standing outside by the car until you pulled away like he always did.
You slept absurdly well afterward.
A heavy sleep and dreamless night, the type that glued you to the mattress the next morning until sunlight was already cutting aggressively through your blinds. By the time you shuffled out with an oversized hoodie you were certain was your ex’s, your phone was buzzing with unread texts from Dean sent hours earlier, probably before morning practice.
You ignored every single one and it wasn’t because of regret. Embarrassment simply crawled into your chest somewhere between the first and third spoonful of cereal and decided to settle there permanently.
The entire conversation replayed so clearly now that you were sober. “Use me,” You nearly groaned into the bowl.
Three hours of class helped, at least temporarily. You sat near the back of the massive amphitheater classroom while your professor rambled enthusiastically about the new book he’d conveniently written himself and would definitely require students to purchase before midterms. You probably would’ve absorbed more information if you weren’t scrolling mindlessly through Instagram the entire lecture.
The doors behind you opened quietly midway through class.
You barely paid attention at first since nobody descended the stairs toward the lower rows and a second later the seat beside you groaned softly under someone’s weight.
You recognized the cologne immediately.
“How hard do you think you need to scrub for that scent to leave your skin?” you whispered without looking up.
Dean grinned beside you, leaning closer enough for warmth to brush your shoulder as his eyes dropped toward your phone screen.
You locked it quickly and finally looked at him. “You’re not in this class.”
“I see your phone works perfectly fine,” he replied.
The professor thankfully dismissed class early before you could answer, students immediately growing louder as backpacks zipped and people exited the space.
You stood quickly and started gathering your things. “Did you need something, Di Laurentis?” you asked flatly.
Dean remained seated on purpose, forcing you to awkwardly climb past him to leave the row. The asshole looked entirely too pleased with himself while you muttered under your breath and stepped over his legs.
The second you reached the aisle, he stood and followed.
You walked fast, actually, aggressively fast. Dean almost struggled to keep up at first, his legs clearly still wrecked from morning practice while you marched out of the building like escape itself was the objective. He finally caught you outside near the steps leading toward the quad.
“We need to talk.”
You slowed at last before turning toward him. “What we need is space,” you corrected, motioning firmly between your bodies.
Dean looked down between you both thoughtfully, then took exactly one step backward.
You almost laughed, especially because he looked unbearably smug afterward, standing there grinning in the middle of campus like he deserved a reward for basic listening skills.
“You’ve gone to New York with me enough times to know I don’t need more space,” he pointed out. “But fine.” His expression softened slightly afterward, amusement fading as he studied your face more carefully. “What’s going on?”
Of course, he was right. Dean practically crawled into people’s personal bubbles recreationally, so the fact he’d backed off at all made it harder to flee the conversation entirely.
You exhaled slowly. “We said stuff last night.”
He nodded once, blinking at the tension written all over your face. “Yeah. That’s usually how conversations work.”
“Stuff you might regret,” you clarified.
Dean’s brows lifted before a quiet laugh escaped him. “Regret?” He pointed toward himself loosely. “C’mon. It’s me.”
His voice gentled slightly after and the worst part was he looked relieved, because apparently the phrase ‘stuff you might regret’ translated in Dean’s brain to ‘good, she’s not upset’.
“I would’ve said that sober,” he assured you.
His eyes stayed fixed on yours while your attention darted briefly around campus before returning to him again exactly like he knew it would. Dean stepped closer instinctively, lowering his voice enough that the passing students around you blurred into background noise.
“You want me to repeat it?” he asked quietly. “Let me help you cum.”
Your stomach tightened at his tone of voice. “It might not work,” you reminded him softly.
You hoped your face conveyed the actual problem because this had never been about his ego. Dean could survive failure, he’d probably laugh through it, so that wasn’t what scared you.
Dean shrugged anyway, maddeningly calm. “What if it does?”
“And what if it doesn’t?” Frustration finally slipped into your voice. “Dean, I don’t want us to get weird.” You shook your head hard once. “I don’t need ‘optimistic Dean’ right now,” you muttered. “I need ‘realistic Dean’, so pull him out of your ass.”
“You already are weird,” Dean corrected easily, smiling down at you. “I accepted that years ago.” His grin widened then. “Actually, I encourage it.”
You rolled your eyes, though the corner of your mouth betrayed you.
“Let me try,” he insisted again, the confidence in his voice should’ve irritated you more than it did.
Instead, you found yourself studying him in silence, searching for something off in his expression. Some sign this was ego, curiosity or boredom disguised as concern but he just looked…earnest. Enthusiastic, sure, because he was Dean and apparently incapable of approaching anything halfway but not creepy about it and maybe this was partially your own fault.
You’d spent years talking openly with him about sex, relationships and attraction. About wanting something good someday instead of tolerable, about how when you were old and exhausted with kids running around, you still wanted a partner who looked at you and wanted you back because you were almost certain you’d still want them too.
Dean remembered everything you said…unfortunately.
You sighed heavily. “We need rules.”
“Fine.” He agreed so fast it almost startled you. Dean straightened afterward, nodding once with ridiculous seriousness like the two of you were entering business negotiations instead of whatever disaster this actually was.
You almost reconsidered your next words. Almost.
“No kissing.”
Dean’s shoulders visibly dropped. “Why?”
“Because!” you hissed. “And if we’re doing this, you don’t get to question the rules.”
His face twisted in disbelief. “We’ve kissed before.”
You crossed your arms tighter. “That was different.”
Dean scoffed softly. “We were literally each other’s first kiss.”
Again, he was right. You weren’t just each other’s first kiss either, a few firsts existed between you both scattered through years of friendship and growing up side by side, all except for sex. There was awkward teenage curiosity, truth or dare disasters and one regrettable spin-the-bottle incident Garrett still occasionally referenced against your will.
Which was exactly why kissing now felt dangerous. This couldn’t spiral into some ‘why didn’t we do this sooner’ conversation. It needed boundaries and structure, something detached enough that neither of you accidentally ruined the friendship orbiting underneath all this and selflessly, you also didn’t want the group dragged into the fallout if things exploded.
“We’re adults now,” you said firmly. “So no kissing.”
Dean stared at you for another second before exhaling dramatically.
“Okay,” he relented…Too easily, which immediately made you suspicious he’d already started planning arguments against it for later.
“I’ve also thought about what you said last night,” you continued carefully. “About Six Flags.”
Dean’s brows lifted.
“And shutting down the entire park feels unfair to you,” you explained. “Potentially devastating, honestly.” Your lips twitched slightly. “So you can still hook up with other people if you want. I genuinely don’t care.”
Dean actually looked offended. “Didn’t realize I needed permission.”
“You know what I mean.”
“No, I don’t.” His voice sharpened for the first time since the conversation started. “But no thanks.” He shrugged once. “It makes this more exciting anyway.” A grin tugged briefly at his mouth again. “I’ve got one ride right now and that’s all I need.”
Your face scrunched at his words. “Does weed somehow make you an even bigger asshole?”
Dean ignored that completely. “I’m not doing anything with anyone else until we’re done here,” he repeated firmly. The teasing disappeared entirely from his voice that time and there was no smugness either, just certainty.
You quieted automatically when a group of students passed nearby, a few of them recognizing Dean instantly and greeting him as they crossed the quad. He responded absentmindedly without taking his eyes off you once.
The second they moved far enough away, you continued. “Why?”
Dean’s expression softened at the question. “Because I need you comfortable,” he answered simply. “And I need you to trust me more than you already do.”
You groaned. “Oh my God,” you muttered, dragging a hand down your face. “You’re making this weird.”
He grinned at your reaction while you grabbed his sleeve and started pulling him further across campus before more people stopped to talk to him. Dean let you drag him along without resistance, looking far too entertained by the whole thing.
“We don’t even know how long this will take,” you pointed out.
“My fist works perfectly fine in the meantime,” Dean decided easily.
You looked up at him so fast your neck almost hurt.
Dean pressed his lips together, visibly trying not to laugh at the pure disbelief written across your face. His head tilted slightly, hair strands falling over his forehead while he watched you stare at him like he’d just confessed to tax fraud.
Your gaze dropped away first.
Contrary to what everyone on campus believed, Dean didn’t actually need constant hookups to survive. He liked the reputation, liked exaggerating it even more whenever it annoyed you enough to argue back or laugh at him but underneath all that, he could handle himself perfectly fine.
Unfortunately for you, he seemed almost smug about proving that now.
“Can I add rules too?” he asked.
You sighed dramatically. “Sure.”
The two of you kept walking through campus side by side, your pace slower now that the conversation had moved on from terrifying to merely humiliating.
“No scheduling things specifically for this,” Dean decided. “If it happens, it happens.”
You blinked once before nodding slowly. “Yeah. Okay.” Relief actually loosened something in your chest at that. “That’s good. I’ll stress less.”
Dean glanced sideways at you, probably pleased you agreed so quickly…Except his rule immediately created entirely new problems.
“Uh…” Your steps slowed slightly. “How do you…” You scratched awkwardly at your eyebrow. “Take it?”
Dean stopped walking altogether. “How do I take what?” he asked carefully. “My coffee?”
You groaned. “No.” Your hand motioned vaguely between the two of you in a series of gestures that explained absolutely nothing. “Like…how do you like it?”
Dean’s brows lifted as realization hit him almost visibly.
You looked away at once. “Fuck,” you muttered under your breath. “Do I need to be clean shaven constantly or not?” Your voice lowered progressively through the sentence while your eyes darted around campus to make sure nobody nearby overheard you discussing grooming preferences in broad daylight.
Dean stared at you for half a second too long before answering.
“Y/n.” The seriousness in his tone made your eyes flicker back toward him. “The day I tell you what to do with your body, you better knock me unconscious.”
Your mouth parted slightly.
“I’ll literally kneel for it if that makes it easier,” he continued firmly. “Do whatever makes you comfortable.”
And he meant it. Dean would enjoy it either way, obviously, but that wasn’t what mattered to him here. What mattered was getting you out of your own head long enough to actually enjoy yourself instead of performing comfort for someone else.
You blinked slowly at him because suddenly your ex’s comments replayed in your head with uncomfortable clarity. Little preferences disguised as jokes and suggestions repeated enough times to become expectations and judging by the expression tightening briefly across Dean’s face, he’d realized exactly where your question came from too.
That only made you feel worse somehow. Your attention drifted toward the students moving around campus nearby.
You suddenly wondered if people would notice eventually. The same way older women always claimed they somehow knew when girls became sexually active. Weird comments about posture and confidence, wider hips and glowing skin that sounded fake until suddenly you became the target of them too.
Your stomach tightened faintly. “What are we supposed to tell people?”
Dean barely hesitated. “To mind their own fucking business.”
You snorted softly.
He looked over at you again, entirely serious despite the amusement still lingering around his mouth. “Just like I’m doing mine.”
The rest of the week passed almost painfully normal.
There were parties, late-night food runs, afternoons sprawled around the boys’ house while someone yelled at a video game in the background and hockey games while Dean acted exactly the same as always. You spent time with Hannah and Allie between classes and after them, listened to Garrett complain dramatically about assignments he’d started twelve hours before they were due, watched Tucker cook enough food for six grown men while Logan disappeared upstairs with company more often than not.
Nothing changed.
Dean still touched your shoulder when he walked past you, still stole fries off your plate and still looked at you too long whenever you laughed at something stupid and somehow that made the entire thing worse because half the time you genuinely convinced yourself you’d imagined the whole conversation by the fire pit entirely.
Maybe the weed had made you both insane and none of it was real.
You sat curled up on the floor of the boys’ living room later that week with your knees tucked to your chest, a notebook balanced across your thighs while formulas blurred together across the page. Your back rested against the couch and the TV played quietly in the background though neither of you actually paid attention to it.
Dean sat opposite you in the armchair, long legs spread comfortably while he hunched over his own notebook with far more concentration than anyone would expect from him or maybe not because he took hockey so seriously. He took school seriously too, despite pretending otherwise whenever possible but unfortunately for you, he also looked unfairly good doing homework.
You tried focusing on your own work, tried hard. Instead, your eyes kept lifting toward him between equations, your brain repeatedly snagging on the memory of everything he’d said days earlier and the fact neither of you had taken any of it back…or done a single thing about it.
“What’d you get for number three?” Dean’s voice pulled you from your thoughts but still didn’t look up from his notebook.
You blinked down at your own page, trying to remember where your brain had abandoned the assignment entirely.
“C,” you answered eventually. “But I’m not confident about it.”
Dean hummed thoughtfully. “I’ve done the math twice and I keep getting B.”
You reread the problem slowly, trying to force your attention into place. “Then it’s probably B.”
Dean finally looked up at that, one brow lifting. “You’re admitting you’re wrong?”
You snorted softly. Honestly, it was extremely possible. Your brain hadn’t functioned properly all week because you kept thinking about him offering himself up like some absurdly confident science experiment.
“Don’t need to dig through my family tree to know I’m not descended from Isaac Newton.”
A smile tugged slowly across Dean’s mouth as he leaned back in the armchair. “If you are,” he said, eyes dragging over your face, “I’m glad the ugly recessive genes skipped you.”
Your nose scrunched instantly. “What kind of compliment is that?”
“The kind I’m hoping gets you over here to help me.” He motioned you closer lazily with his pointer and middle fingers.
You sighed before setting your notebook on the coffee table and padding across the room toward him. The house was quieter this late afternoon, though not empty. Hannah was upstairs with Garrett, Logan had disappeared into his room hours ago and Tucker was outside training.
“Let’s see,” you murmured.
You bent slightly over Dean and the notebook resting on the armrest, attention dropping fully to the equations scattered across the page. The movement loosened the collar of your shirt enough for cool air to brush your skin.
Dean noticed and his throat cleared quietly.
Your attention remained on the notebook while his eyes betrayed him completely, dropping for one dangerous second to the visible lace of your bra before forcing themselves back upward toward your face instead.
Dean had promised himself he’d take this slow and naturally because the second he acted weird about it, you would too. You’d overthink every movement, every look and accidental touch and unfortunately for him, you’d always been terrifyingly good at reading him.
He moved the notebook slightly farther from you as one hand settled carefully against your hip, guiding you.
You reached automatically for the notebook before he moved it entirely out of reach, successfully grabbing it just as he tugged you forward enough for your balance to tip. A second later you settled directly onto his lap, knees falling naturally to either side of his thighs.
You blinked once. “Smooth,” you muttered, adjusting yourself carefully without looking at him. “I’ll give you that.”
Dean grinned openly now. You balanced the notebook against his chest like it was a table and reached backward for the pen loosely held in his free hand. His fingers brushed yours before letting go.
“Should be a five,” you corrected while marking over the equation. “Not a seven.” Your brows furrowed slightly. “Your handwriting’s gotten worse over the years.”
“You still read it.”
“I’m not the one grading you.” Your eyes lifted straight into his.
You’d sat on Dean’s lap before, during packed car rides, group trips and random stupid moments over the years where proximity stopped mattering because he was just Dean. This didn’t feel like that, not even close.
“Not in math,” he said quietly.
Only one of his hands touched you still, resting warm and steady against your hip like he was making a conscious effort not to overwhelm you. Whether it was intentional or not, it worked. His eyes drifted downward slowly toward your mouth.
“You should be rating everything else though.” A grin ghosted briefly across his lips. “Pretty sure Six Flags has customer surveys.”
You shook your head once, slow enough that your hair brushed lightly against your cheek. “No ride, no survey.”
Dean’s mouth twitched. His legs spread slightly wider underneath you then, subtle enough that you still felt the change as the apex of your thighs aligned more directly with his. The hand on your hip tightened enough for you to notice. “Go on then,” he murmured.
Your gaze dropped before you could stop it, down to the visible tent pressing insistently against the front of his sweats. Heat climbed your throat immediately.
“Interesting moment you picked,” you muttered softly, eyes flicking briefly toward the rest of the house.
You felt comfortable there. Comfortable enough to leave clothes behind, to wander into the kitchen without asking and to nap on the couch when you got tired during movie nights but knowing the others were still around somewhere made your pulse jump harder instead of calming it.
Dean noticed. “Just focus on me,” he instructed quietly.
Not ‘look at me’, just ‘focus’ which you could do.
You looked at him, seeing the genuine curiosity and lack of judgment in his eyes and for the first time, the wall you'd built around your sexuality felt more like a shield and less like a cage.
Slowly, tentatively, you moved as the gravity of the moment pulled you toward him. You settled your weight directly onto him, feeling the distinct, blunt shape of his cock through the layers of your clothes. He wasn't fully hard yet, just a semi-firm pressure against your clothed pussy but it didn't make you recoil. In fact, it sent a low thrum of anticipation through your nerves.
The air between you grew thick, charged with a tension that felt heavy enough to touch. You remembered your own rule: no kissing. So, you kept your face inches from his but you didn't close the gap. Instead, you focused on the sound of his breathing, which had hitched the moment you sat down. You could feel the warmth of his breath ghosting over your lips, a teasing, invisible touch that made your skin prickle.
Dean’s hand still hovered near your waist, trembling slightly but he didn't grip you. He seemed to be fighting every instinct to pull you closer, respecting the fragile boundary you had set.
"I'm gonna keep my hands off," he whispered, his voice strained and rough. "You just keep moving. Take whatever you're comfortable with."
He pulled his arms back, resting them flat against the seat beside him, leaving you in complete control. The sudden lack of physical contact made the friction between your pelvises feel even more intense. You knew what you were doing, you had enough experience to know how your body worked, even if the 'explosive ending' always eluded you. You began to rock, a slow, tentative grind that pressed your pussy firmly against the length of him as a sharp, jagged exhale escaped his lungs.
You felt him react instantly, the semi-firmness beneath you surged, his cock thickening and hardening rapidly against your center. You rolled your hips in a circular motion, aiming for the sweet spot, feeling the dampness beginning to soak into your underwear. You were getting wetter, the friction creating a sliding, sensual heat that radiated upward into your stomach.
"You still okay?" he breathed out, voice barely a murmur.
You simply nodded and tried to focus entirely on him, wanting to give him something perfect, something that would leave him breathless. You pushed down harder, grinding your clit against the hard ridge of his dick. You watched his face, head falling back against the headrest, leaving his throat exposed and pulsing but he forced his eyes to stay open. He wanted to see you. He wanted to witness the way your expression changed as you found a rhythm that worked.
The intimacy was suffocating in the best way. There was no kissing to distract you and no wandering hands to break the spell, just the raw, rhythmic pressure of friction. You could feel the heat radiating off his thighs, the way his chest heaved in time with your movements as your own breathing became ragged, mirroring his, the sound of your synchronized gasps filling the quiet space.
You felt a small, involuntary moan escape your throat, a soft sound of pleasure that made Dean’s hips jerk upward instinctively, trying to meet your descent. You pressed closer, your mind racing, trying to synchronize your pleasure with his but as the tension built, a familiar frustration began to creep in. You were so close to that peak, that elusive edge but the more you focused on his perfection, the more you felt yourself slipping away from your own. You wanted it, you wanted to break through the ceiling you'd lived under for years and the frustration made you grind harder, more desperately.
You were just beginning to lose yourself in the friction, your body humming with a desperate, electric need, when the spell was shattered.
The heavy thud of footsteps hit the wooden porch outside, then came muffled voices.
Tucker.
The sound slammed into you like ice water dumped straight down your spine.
You jolted backward instantly, panic snapping through your body so violently that your balance disappeared completely. The friction, the heat, the dizzy haze clouding your brain shattered in one humiliating second as you scrambled away from Dean in pure instinct.
Dean’s hands had actually stayed off, so when you lurched backward, there was nothing anchoring you in place, no arm catching your waist or grip steadying you. You slipped right off his lap in a graceless tangle of limbs and landed hard beside the chair with a muffled curse, your pulse hammering violently against your ribs.
Dean moved at the same time you did. One hand grabbed the nearest couch pillow and yanked it straight into his lap while the other instinctively reached toward you, fingers brushing empty air because you were already halfway onto your feet.
The front door opened and you froze.
Your breathing came embarrassingly uneven as you tried forcing your body back under control, thighs trembling faintly from the abrupt stop, nerves buzzing so hard beneath your skin it almost hurt. Dean leaned back into the chair with his head tipped toward the ceiling for one brief second, chest rising sharply beneath his t-shirt while tortured frustration flashed openly across his face before he forced himself together enough to look toward the entryway.
Tucker walked in distractedly, phone pressed to his ear while he kicked the door shut behind him with his shoe.
“–No, because that’s not what I said,” he argued into the phone before finally glancing up.
Dean’s voice came out rough and annoyed. “Can't you knock?”
The irritation in it made your eyes widen and before thinking better of it, you reached over and smacked lightly at his arm which made him look offended for half a second.
Tucker’s brows pulled together slowly as his gaze moved between the two of you…You standing there awkwardly and Dean spread out in the armchair with a pillow aggressively covering his lap.
The TV was still playing, forgotten in the background too.
“Wait,” Tucker muttered into the phone, eyes narrowing slightly. “Hold on.” He lowered the phone away from his ear and motioned vaguely around the living room. “I live here,” he pointed out flatly. “If you two wanna study in complete silence maybe turn the TV down or go to the library.”
Your mouth pressed into a painfully tight smile.
“Hey, Y/n.” he greeted, much more gently.
“Hi,” you replied weakly with an awkward nod.
Tucker gave you one more lingering look before wandering toward the kitchen, already returning to his phone conversation while opening the fridge like absolutely nothing life-altering had just occurred in his living room.
The second he was no longer looking, your eyes snapped back toward Dean, his were already on you, wide and still dark with frustration and lingering heat and approximately ten other emotions you absolutely did not have time to unpack right now.
You hurried toward where you’d abandoned your bag near the couch and started shoving your things inside far too quickly.
Dean muttered a curse under his breath behind you as the fridge door opened again. “Wait, wait, wait,” he whispered urgently.
You ignored him completely, nearly dropping your belongings while trying to zip your bag shut.
“You don’t have to leave,” he continued quietly, unable to stand for reasons both of you were painfully aware of. The pillow remained trapped over his lap while he leaned forward slightly, voice dropping lower. “Stay for dinner.” Then louder, “Right, Tucker?”
From the kitchen, still mid-conversation, Tucker lifted a distracted thumbs up without even looking over. Of course you could stay, you were always welcome there and it somehow made this infinitely worse.
“Y/n, c’mon,” Dean tried again, even softer this time.
You finally looked at him, at his flushed face and the way he still looked wrecked from you despite the interruption.
Your stomach flipped painfully. “You can text me that survey of yours,” you muttered.
Dean groaned quietly at the reminder, watching as you grabbed your bag and headed straight for the front door before your embarrassment could physically consume you alive.
You didn’t say goodbye or looked back. You slipped outside into the cold early evening air and shut the door behind you, immediately dragging in one huge breath like you’d been underwater too long.
Fresh air hit your lungs sharply, cool and tensionless.
Your legs felt weird as you walked down the porch steps and somewhere beneath the embarrassment sat an even more irritating realization. You needed to change your panties and somehow, you still hadn’t come.
For the first time in your academic career, you were thankful exam week existed.
The chaos of midterms had given you and Dean something else to focus on besides the fact you’d nearly climbed him in the middle of his living room while Tucker casually walked through the front door. Between study sessions, essays, last-minute cramming and the general emotional collapse that overtook Briar every semester, things had settled back into something manageable.
You and Dean had talked afterward, though absolutely not alone.
He’d insisted on meeting in a crowded coffee shop near campus where old women typed aggressively on laptops and students cried quietly over textbooks in the corner booths. Dean had spent most of the conversation reassuring you Tucker didn’t know anything, swearing repeatedly that if Tucker had known, the entire hockey house would’ve heard about it within twelve minutes. More importantly, he’d made sure you still wanted this and despite the embarrassment, the frustration and how badly your body still reacted whenever he looked at you too long, you did.
“Are you seriously not coming?” Allie paced dramatically across the apartment while speaking, changing outfits for what had to be the fourth time in under an hour. Both you and Hannah tracked her movements from the couch like spectators at a tennis match while she disappeared into her room only to emerge seconds later wearing something slightly tighter each time.
Hannah finally peeled her attention away from Allie to look at you instead.
“She’s right,” she agreed. “Exams are over. Maybe partying would actually help.”
You smiled lazily from your spot curled into the couch cushions, blanket draped across your legs while exhaustion sat heavy behind your eyes.
“What’ll help me is eight uninterrupted hours of sleep,” you informed them. “Which I plan on pursuing aggressively the second both of you leave.” Your mouth twitched slightly. “Now see some boys and make questionable use of your mouths elsewhere.”
Allie barked out a laugh loud enough to echo while Hannah groaned.
“When are we finding your rebound?” Allie asked as she finally settled on an outfit and bent down to tug on her boots.
“It’s too soon,” you decided immediately.
“It is,” Hannah agreed with a firm nod. “She doesn’t wanna think about men right now and we’re respecting that.”
You pointed gratefully toward her. “See? Emotional maturity.”
“Sure,” Allie snorted. “I’m still passing your Instagram around tonight though.” She grinned wickedly while crossing toward the couch. “You can decide what to do with the options later.” Before you could answer, she leaned down and squeezed you tightly against her side. “Don’t wait up for us.”
You watched them drag out the goodbye process intentionally, moving toward the door with exaggerated slowness like they expected you to suddenly change your mind and throw on heels at the last second.
You sighed and stood from the couch, physically herding them toward the exit. “Just go,” you laughed while they protested loudly.
“We tried,” Hannah reminded you with a smile while Allie opened the apartment door. “We’ll send you the address anyway.”
“I won’t change my mind.”
“You say that now...”
You waved them off anyway and finally shut the door behind them once they disappeared down the hallway already talking excitedly about shots and music and whatever terrible decisions the night would inevitably produce.
Silence settled across the apartment immediately afterward.
You exhaled slowly…now what? You considered your options while wandering aimlessly through the living space. You could curl up on the couch with your laptop and a movie or crawl into bed and disappear beneath blankets for twelve straight hours like a Victorian woman with mysterious exhaustion. Or…Your thoughts drifted elsewhere automatically, toward your room and the drawer beside your bed.
You grimaced slightly. Maybe tonight was the night you tried again, actually committed to figuring yourself out instead of giving up midway through frustration like usual. You’d bought enough toys over the years based entirely on optimistic reviews and late-night curiosity alone.
Were they even charged? You were approximately two steps away from your bedroom when knocking sounded at the front door.
You groaned at the sound. “Did you guys forget your condoms again?” you called out while turning toward the entrance. Honestly, it happened often enough that the assumption came naturally now.
You unlocked the door and pulled it open. Then blinked at who you saw. “Dean.”
Dean stood casually in the hallway wearing a baseball cap and dark sunglasses despite the fact it was nighttime indoors, which might’ve worked better if he wasn’t also carrying an enormous black bag beside him.
“I always carry condoms,” he informed you smugly.
Your face scrunched instantly as his answer only emphasized how thin the apartment walls actually were. You narrowed your eyes at him while glancing suspiciously down the hallway.
“Why aren’t you at the party?”
Dean lowered the sunglasses enough to properly look at you over the frames.
You looked soft tonight, comfortable. Wearing sweatpants and an oversized shirt, hair messier than usual from lying around all day. The sight quickly made something warm settle low in his chest.
“Because I’m here with you.”
“No,” you corrected. “You wanted to be here with me.” You pointed vaguely toward campus. “Past tense…You should currently be at that party.”
“No can do.” Dean slipped smoothly past you before you could stop him, nudging the apartment door shut behind him with his foot.
Only then did you fully notice the bag. It was large, rectangular, black and rigid with no visible branding whatsoever. It completely ruined the whole incognito outfit.
Your eyes narrowed harder while Dean looked far too pleased with himself.
“I come bearing gifts,” he announced, then he walked straight toward your bedroom like he paid rent there.
“How did you know I didn’t go to the party?” you asked while following him toward your bedroom.
Dean set the bag carefully onto your bed before finally turning around, fingers hooking beneath the brim of his cap as he pulled it off. The sunglasses followed next, revealing eyes already fixed on you with far too much satisfaction.
“I have my sources.”
You grimaced again. “That sounds vaguely threatening.”
“Hannah asked me the other day to convince you to come out tonight.” He shrugged casually. “I didn’t.”
You crossed your arms. “Who says I would’ve agreed anyway?”
Dean smiled instantly. “Me.” The confidence in his answer came without hesitation. “I’m very persuasive.”
You rolled your eyes before your attention dragged back toward the massive black bag sitting suspiciously at the foot of your bed. “What is that?”
Dean glanced over his shoulder toward it. “Our entertainment for tonight.” His mouth twitched slightly. “Well…mine.”
You narrowed your eyes harder at him before stepping around him toward the bed. The bag gave nothing away from the outside, rigid and sleek and annoyingly mysterious.
Cautiously, you reached inside and your fingers brushed lace first. You blinked then slowly pulled the item free into the light between you both, pinching it delicately between two fingers like it might suddenly attack you.
“Lingerie?” you asked, genuinely confused.
Dean nodded once. “I had to get rid of the boxes,” he explained. “Turns out Agent Provocateur packaging isn’t exactly subtle.”
Your eyes widened immediately. “Agent Provocateur?” You stared at him in disbelief before looking back into the bag. “Are you insane?”
One by one, you started pulling more pieces out. Black lace…cream silk and tiny straps. Things so soft they barely felt real against your fingertips.
Dean watched your growing expression carefully and only then seemed to realize he may have gone slightly overboard. “I got lost on the website,” he admitted. “And then there was free shipping after a certain amount which felt financially irresponsible to ignore.”
You straightened slowly, still clutching one lace bodysuit in your hands while looking at him like he’d lost his damn mind.
“Explain to me,” you said carefully, “how exactly this counts as entertainment.”
“Besides the obvious?”
Your stare sharpened. Dean exhaled quietly before answering, his tone softening as the teasing faded from his expression.
“When you were on my lap the other day…” His eyes flickered briefly toward the floor before returning to you. “You stopped focusing on yourself after a while.”
Your fingers tightened slightly around the lace.
“You started trying to get me there instead,” he continued gently. “Like you were more worried about proving something than actually feeling good.”
Heat crept onto the nape of your neck because he was right. Dean noticed everything.
“And I get it,” he added quickly, voice staying careful. “Probably instinct. You wanted me to enjoy it.” His mouth twitched faintly. “Which I definitely did, by the way. Don’t start doubting that part.”
You stayed quiet while watching him and actually listened instead of acting on your urge to flee.
“Tonight,” he said after a beat, nodding lightly toward the lingerie scattered across your bed, “the lingerie can be for me.” His eyes moved back to yours. “So the rest can just be yours.”
The room went quiet afterward. The plan had probably sounded more coherent in Dean’s head at one in the morning while online shopping half-awake with his laptop balanced on his stomach but somewhere beneath the absurdity of it, you understood what he meant.
Lingerie wasn’t only about someone else seeing you in it, women bought it for themselves too, to feel pretty, desired and confident. Sometimes just to stand in front of the mirror and reclaim something private but eventually, with partners, it often became performative too, something shared and visual. Dean was trying to remove that pressure from everything else.
Your gaze drifted slowly back down toward the pile of lace but you still weren’t entirely sure what happened next. You tried things on and then, what?
Your voice lowered slightly. “What kind of mind games are you playing?”
You hoped it didn’t sound accusing because it wasn’t meant to. You were just struggling to process the fact Dean had seen through you so clearly after one failed attempt, that he’d gone and actually thought about it, considered it and returned with something tangible instead of empty reassurance and blind confidence.
Dean shook his head immediately. “No games.” His voice stayed soft and patient, ready to leave the second you told him this was too much. “Let’s just give it a shot.”
Silence stretched again before you finally reached for a pair of panties instead. The lace slid smoothly through your fingers as you lifted the panties between you both for further inspection.
Dean’s eyes dropped instantly and despite himself, one very clear thought crossed his mind.
‘Yeah. Definitely one of my favorites.’
“How do you even know these will fit?” you asked honestly. The fabric looked expensive enough to disintegrate if handled incorrectly, soft lace brushing against your fingertips while you inspected the tiny details stitched into it.
Dean opened his mouth…closed it and opened it again. “I’m…observant?”
Even he sounded unsure of the answer.
Your lips twitched as you bit back a laugh while digging through the pile until you found the matching bra, then gathered both pieces in your hands.
“Observant and persuasive,” you mused while backing toward the bathroom. “Let me know when there’s something substantial to add to that list.”
Dean nodded solemnly like you’d given him serious criticism to reflect on. “Will do.”
The bathroom door clicked shut behind you and the second it did, Dean exhaled sharply and looked down at himself...for fuck’s sake.
He adjusted himself miserably through his pants while staring at your closed bathroom door in defeat. Lately everything about you affected him differently, your voice, your teasing and the way you looked at him for half a second too long depending on the day.
It was becoming genuinely embarrassing.
Dean barely moved from the spot you’d left him in.
He stayed planted near the foot of your bed, one hand dragging occasionally through his hair while his eyes remained fixed on the bathroom door like staring hard enough would somehow let him see through it. Every few seconds he twitched awkwardly in his pants, dealing unsuccessfully with the consequences of occasionally hearing your hums through the thin wall while knowing exactly what you were changing into behind it.
Inside the bathroom, you stood frozen in front of the mirror for far longer than necessary.
You tried very hard not to think about how closely Dean must’ve paid attention to you over the years to somehow get the sizing exactly right because it fit perfectly.
The lace sat snug against your skin without pinching anywhere, soft black patterns curling over your chest and hugging your hips beautifully. The bra lifted your breasts enough to make your posture straighten instinctively while the matching panties rested low against your hips, delicate enough to feel expensive but comfortable enough not to make you tug at them every two seconds.
You looked good, not just tolerable under dim lights or acceptable after strategic positioning and reassurance and maybe that was what scared you most because now you had to walk back out there and let someone else see it too.
With one last glance toward your reflection, you finally reached for the doorknob and stepped back into your room.
Dean looked up immediately, the reaction was almost embarrassing.
He stopped breathing for half a second entirely, eyes dragging over you slowly enough to make heat climb straight into your throat. He barely blinked while following your movement across the room as you drifted toward your full-length mirror, fingertips lightly tracing the lace resting over your shoulders before moving lower toward the small details connecting the cups together.
The silence stretched thickly.
You kept looking at yourself mostly because looking directly at him felt dangerous right now, even as he moved behind you slowly without touching. He was just standing there close enough for warmth to gather along your back while his eyes followed yours through the reflection. Wherever you looked, he looked too, until eventually your gazes met in the mirror.
You swallowed. “What do you think?”
Dean inhaled deeply through his nose. “I think,” he said slowly, “Six Flags might be going out of business soon.”
Your brows lifted immediately before a quiet laugh escaped you despite yourself.
You turned around to face him fully then, stepping closer until only inches separated you both. Your hands settled carefully against the center of his chest, fingertips brushing lightly against the fabric of his shirt while you looked up at him.
Dean held your gaze steadily, too steadily, sometimes it genuinely felt like he could read your thoughts if he stared long enough. “What do you think?” he echoed softly.
You hummed quietly, eyes flickering downward toward his mouth before lifting back up again.
“I think…” Your hands began sliding slowly down his chest, fingertips grazing over the hard planes beneath his shirt one inch at a time. “Maybe…” Your voice softened further as your palms drifted lower. “I could show you something I actually know how to do.”
Dean’s jaw tightened as your fingers brushed the bulge straining against his pants.
“With my mouth,” you finished quietly.
You didn’t move afterward and neither did he.
In your head, the logic made sense. Dean already thought you were beautiful, so you didn’t need him witnessing your frustration firsthand too. You could give him something good instead, something you knew how to control.
For one dangerous second, he looked like he was genuinely considering it. Then Dean exhaled sharply and turned you around instead, guiding you gently back toward the mirror until your back rested against his chest.
A startled breath caught in your throat as your ass pressed unintentionally against the hard outline of his erection.
Your eyes met his again through the reflection.
“I don’t doubt you can do those things,” he murmured near your ear. “All of them.”
One of his hands settled carefully against your waist while the other slid slowly downward, fingertips brushing beneath the waistband of your panties enough to make your stomach tighten.
His eyes never once left yours in the mirror. “So why do you?”
The reflection showed the two of you, a study in tension and longing. You could see the intensity in his eyes, the way he watched you not just with desire but with a focused, intentional kind of devotion.
His hand didn't push further, he stopped before his fingertips brushed the outer lips of your pussy, leaving a teasing spark of contact. He held himself there, gaze locking onto yours in the mirror, waiting. He wasn't going to take a single inch more without your explicit permission.
You felt your heart hammer against your ribs, chest heaving. You looked into his eyes and gave a small, shaky nod.
The moment you did, he slid deeper. His fingers glided through the slick already gathering between your thighs, parting you with a gentle pressure that could’ve made your toes curl. He didn't rush, he navigated the wet lips until his fingertip found the small, swollen bud of your clit. He began to circle it slowly with agonizingly steady rotations that sent ripples of electricity shooting straight to your core.
"Tell me what you see," he whispered, voice a low and gravelly vibration against your ear.
You swallowed hard, voice trembling as you focused on the reflection. "You...you touching me," you breathed.
As you spoke, you watched your own body react. Your breathing picked up, turning into shallow, jagged gasps. In the mirror, you saw your breasts heaving, the nipples peaking and hardening into tight, sensitive points through the lace of your bra. As if reading your thoughts, Dean’s other hand reached around, his fingers finding one breast and gripping it. He massaged the hardened peak, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger and you let out a sharp, involuntary swallow, head tilting back slightly.
"And what's at the end of me?" he asked, voice humming with a dark, sensual curiosity.
"Me," you whispered, the word barely leaving your lips.
"What else?" he pressed, fingers continuing that relentless, circling motion. He was forcing you to stay present, stripping away your ability to hide in your head or focus on his pleasure. He wanted you trapped in your own skin.
You stared at yourself, hyper-aware of every inch of your anatomy. "Beauty marks," you murmured, noticing the small moles on your thighs and torso that you usually ignored.
"And here?" he asked, his thumb flicking the tip of your nipple.
"Hardened nipples," you gasped, eyes fluttering.
"And on your skin..." he prompted, his fingers quickening their pace, the friction against your clit becoming more insistent and demanding.
"Goosebumps," you whimpered. You could see them breaking out across your shoulders and arms, a physical manifestation of the arousal peaking within you.
The sensory overload was dizzying. Every time you named a part of yourself, the pleasure seemed to intensify, as if acknowledging your own body was unlocking a door you'd kept bolted shut. Dean’s fingers were no longer just circling, they were fluttering, vibrating against your most sensitive spot with a precision that made your hips instinctively buck back against him. You felt the wetness flooding out of you and coating his fingers, making the sounds of his touch wet and explicit in the quiet room.
You tried desperately to keep your eyes locked on his in the mirror but as the pleasure climbed, the world began to blur. Your eyelids grew heavy, the edges of your vision darkening as the sensation centered entirely on the point where he was rubbing you. You started to moan, the sounds raw but still shy, escaping your throat without your permission. You pushed your backside harder against the rigid length of his erection, craving the friction, the completion.
The tension in your lower belly coiled tighter and tighter, a spring winding up to the point of snapping. You were right there, on the precipice, the beginning of an orgasm shimmering just out of reach. Your breath became a series of broken sobs as your body trembled in anticipation. Was this it?
"I think...I–" you started, voice breaking as the first wave of a climax seemed to form but just before it solidified, just as you were about to believe it would, Dean abruptly pulled his hand away.
The sudden void was shocking. You gasped, body jolting from the abrupt loss of stimulation, the orgasm denied at the very last second of creation. You were left vibrating, aching and halfway undone but before you could process the frustration, he gripped your waist and turned you around in his arms so you were facing him.
Your eyes were wide, glazed with lust and confusion, chest heaving as you looked up at him.
"What the hell are you doing?" you asked, voice a breathless wreck.
Dean didn't answer immediately. He just looked at you, taking in the desperate hunger in your eyes. He gripped your hips firmly, knuckles white and began backing up toward the bed, pulling you with him.
"Trusting you to do it first," he murmured.
As the back of his knees hit the mattress, he let himself fall back, laying flat on his back and spreading his arms wide, leaving himself completely open and vulnerable to you.
You climbed over him, your movements determined, fueled by a desperate, humming need that had been wound tight in the mirror. You braced your knees against his sides, feeling the hard muscle of his thighs beneath you and planted one hand firmly on his chest. Beneath your palm, you could feel his heart hammering a frantic rhythm, a mirror to your own. With a renewed sense of determination, you slipped your other hand beneath the fabric of your panties, your fingers finding the slick, swollen heat of your pussy.
As you began to touch yourself, you closed your eyes for a moment, repeating the litany he had forced you to acknowledge in the mirror. You focused on the hyper-awareness he had instilled in you, turning that mental lens inward. You found your clit, already engorged and sensitive and began to circle it. Your breathing became ragged, each exhale a shaky shudder that vibrated through your entire frame.
You opened your eyes and looked down at your hand on his chest. You watched the way his pectorals heaved under your touch, his skin flushed and warm. Then, you felt his hands slide up your legs, his large palms gripping your thighs firmly. The sheer intensity of his gaze, the way he watched your every movement with a hunger that felt almost tangible, made a low moan escape your throat.
You had never reached this point before, never felt this close to the edge of something so profound. The pleasure was a rising tide, threatening to pull you under.
"Be patient," Dean breathed, his voice a low, grounding rumble that seemed to vibrate through the mattress and into your bones. "Listen to your body."
You nodded, eyes locked onto his and focused entirely on the sensation. You ignored the noise in your head, everything except the friction of your own fingers. You kept your hand working at a speed you liked, a steady, rhythmic pressure that built a coil of tension in your lower belly. You began to squirm, hips rocking in a slow, undulating motion against your own hand, chasing the spark.
In your haze of arousal, you shifted, pressing your soaking wet clothed cunt directly onto the rigid length of his erection through his pants. The sudden, blunt pressure against your clit sent a shockwave of pleasure through you and you let out a loud, uncontrolled moan. Dean groaned in response, a sound of pure, tortured restraint as he kept his hips from jerking upward to meet you.
You quickly lifted your hips again, holding them high in the air, body arching as you fought to maintain the rhythm.
“Holy fuck,” You were so close now, the world was narrowing down to the point where your fingers met your flesh.
"Attagirl. That's it," Dean whispered, voice thick with praise. "You're doing so good. Just like that...look at you, taking it all in. So fucking worth it."
His words were like fuel to the fire. The praise made you bolder and movements more frantic. You pressed harder, your fingers fluttering with an urgency that bordered on desperation until the tension reached a breaking point, a white-hot spark that suddenly ignited into a roaring flame.
The orgasm hit you like a physical blow. Your head snapped back, your spine arching as the first wave of pleasure crashed over you. Your lips parted and an unreal, unabashed sound, a high, keening cry of release slipped out of you, echoing through the room. It was your first time ever coming and the sensation was overwhelming. It didn't just peak and fade, it rolled through you in long, rhythmic pulses that seemed to last forever, shaking your entire body, leaving your muscles twitching and your mind a complete blank.
Dean didn't move. He looked at you, completely mesmerized, eyes wide and unblinking. He watched the way your throat worked as you gasped for air, the way your breasts heaved and the way your body shuddered under the aftershocks. Beneath you, his cock throbbed and twitched painfully against the constraint of his pants, a visible manifestation of the agony and ecstasy of watching you shatter.
As the waves finally subsided, leaving you limp and floating, you collapsed onto his chest with a sultry whine, skin damp with sweat and breathing heavy and synchronized with his as you caught your breath.
The silence of the room was thick, charged with the lingering electricity of the moment.
You swallowed hard while still catching your breath, voice a mere whisper against his skin. "Is it too soon to say that was the best orgasm I've ever had?"
Dean let out a heavy, uneven breath beneath you, the sound shuddering straight through his chest and into yours. Only then did his hands finally leave your thighs. Slowly, almost cautiously, they slid upward along your sides until his palms settled against your back.
Gone was the restraint that had kept his fingers tense and controlled earlier. Now he touched you lightly, almost reverently, fingertips drifting along the curve of your spine over the lace while he tried to steady his breathing. Every few seconds his hands flexed against you instinctively, like he still couldn’t quite believe what had just happened.
“Definitely the best one I’ve ever had,” he murmured.
His voice sounded wrecked, dizzy, like simply watching you come apart on top of him had pushed him somewhere dangerously close to losing it himself.
You lifted your head slowly from where it rested against his chest, pushing up enough to properly look at him.
Dean blinked up at you lazily, pupils completely blown.
You swallowed once. “Did you…?”
The question barely finished forming before Dean’s expression morphed into something sheepish and amused all at once. He swallowed too before nodding once against the mattress.
Your eyes widened slightly as his hand slid upward from your back, fingertips brushing softly along your jaw while he looked at you with an expression so openly fond it almost hurt to hold eye contact with him.
“Am I still not deserving of a kiss?” he asked quietly. Half joking, half absolutely not.
You hummed thoughtfully like you were genuinely considering it. “You want a cookie and a gold star too?”
Dean’s grin spread slowly across his face, matching yours instantly despite the pleasure still weighing down his features. “Better than the survey.”
You laughed softly through your nose before finally leaning down the rest of the way.
The kiss was warm, searing and long overdue.
Dean’s hand moved instantly to the back of your head, holding you in place like he’d been waiting weeks to finally do exactly this. It started slow for approximately two seconds, soft lips parting against yours carefully, almost disbelievingly, before weeks of tension snapped apart all at once.
You melted into him with a breathless sound as his mouth pressed harder against yours.
Dean kissed like he did everything else, thoroughly.
His thumb pushed lightly beneath your jaw, tilting your head back enough for him to deepen the kiss, tongue sliding against yours slow at first, exploratorily, before the restraint he’d been clinging to all night dissolved completely. The taste of him, the warmth of his mouth and the low groan that rumbled out of his chest when you kissed him back with equal desperation made your stomach tighten all over again.
The kiss quickly turned messy, hungry. You could barely catch your breath between them, mouths reconnecting instantly every time you pulled apart for air like neither of you could tolerate the distance anymore. Dean’s grip tightened on your hair as his other hand spread wide against your back, dragging you flush against him while his tongue swept against yours again, deeper this time, making heat rush straight through your body.
So much for rules.
Seems like Six Flags had just been privatised for a single Agent Provocateur wearer…indefinitely.
☆ Read part 2 here!!
a/n: Comments, likes and reblogs really do mean the world and help more than you know! More stories will be added to the archive soon, so stay tuned for new content. Thank you so much for reading! 🤍
c/w ᝰ.ᐟ viral trends: if you were athletic, what sport would you play? brat!reader, teasing, oral sex (m. receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v, multiple orgasms, spanking, praise, pet names (baby, pretty, princess, bunny, good girl + no y/n), rough-ish sex + ‧˚꒰🍨꒱ #bruised male ego ₊˚⋆
“Pissin’ me off. You know that?” He looks over at you with a scowl. You give him a little face and he rolls his eyes, blowing out a frustrated breath.
He looks back at the tv screen, lifting the spoon to his lips, eating a little ice cream, trying to act like he's not rolling that stupid question you had over ten different ways.
His arm is wrapped around your shoulders still, lying lazily on the back of the couch, but his body angles away slightly like the suggestion of “pissed-off-boyfriend”. Just enough for you to notice—just enough for you to snort to yourself.
He shakes his head to himself, still finding it irritating several minutes after the fact. You scoop another bite into your mouth, feeling his eyes follow the movement.
You keep your attention fixed on the television with the most innocent expression you can manage, determined not to acknowledge the giant sulking hockey captain sitting mere inches away from you.
The silence drags on for another few seconds before he finally shakes his head.
“What? You wanna try mine?” you ask, lifting your spoon to his lips but he pushes it away with two fingers.
“I still can’t believe you.”
“Seriously?” you giggle.
“Yes, seriously!” he insists as you take the bite yourself. “The audacity.”
Your shoulders bounce as you fight off the laugh threatening to break past your lips.
“I’m being so serious right now, baby.”
“I know,” you whisper, the words barely breathing past your lips as you try not to crack.
“No, you don’t.”
“I do.”
“You absolutely do not,” he counters.
He looks down at you, waiting for your undivided attention. You turn your head, looking up at him, watching the forgotten ice cream on his spoon drip off onto his bare chest.
You lean in, grinning, running your tongue up his warm, tight skin and he scoffs again, pushing your head away.
“Knock that shit off,” he scolds you through a half-laugh. “You don't get to lick me.”
His arm slips away, shifting from you completely, putting space between the two of you. He fixes his hat, muscles flexing with it, the gold chain around his neck flickering in the low light, just a pair of grey sweats and cozy socks on his body.
Your cheeks puff as you trap another laugh behind them when he gives you a jaded look for checking him out after all that.
“What?” His eyes narrow at you, voice still dancing between irate and amused. “You’re laughin’.”
“M’not.”
“You are.”
“I’m literally eating dessert, Cameron.”
“You can do both,” he mutters through a mouthful of ice cream himself.
“I don’t think I can.”
“You absolutely can because you’re doing it right fucking now—”
“Calm down,” you laugh when his voice cracks as it tumbles from his lips.
He thumps you on your head with his spoon and you push him away. Rafe leans a little closer, narrowing his eyes suspiciously. “I don’t appreciate being mocked.”
“I’m not mocking you, baby.”
“Yes, you are,” he snips. “You're extremely easy to read.”
“Can't a girl ask questions?” you ask, looking back toward the movie.
He mutters under his breath, sliding a rough finger under the strap of your tank top, lifting it, letting it fall with a little snap, stinging comedically versus ever-so-slightly like he hoped it would.
“I have never been so disrespected in my own home,” he mumbles like a tired father.
The laugh slips free before you can stop it. “You so dramatic.”
“So dramatic?” he asks, turning his body toward you, sitting up straighter. “So dramatic?”
You have to bite the inside of your cheek so hard it almost hurts just to keep yourself from laughing again. “I just asked what sport would you play if you were more athletic? I didn't mean to make you emotional.”
He pivots toward you slowly, eyebrow cocked, begging the silent question. Emotional… Are you fuckin’ kidding me?
You keep your eyes on the movie for another second before finally glancing over, and he's there for a question you'll hear loud and clear.
“What did you call me now?”
“…Unathletic?”
“No. Emotional.” He chuckles, letting out a long breath through his nose, shaking his head like he’s trying very hard to stay calm as a smile threatens at the corner of his mouth. “Are you actually outta your mind?”
“Rude,” you whisper.
“And I skated five miles last game.”
“Wowzers,” you giggle.
“My slapshots are over a hundred miles an hour, princess. You can't even drive that fast. And you're gonna sit there and act like that shit isn't athletic? You looked at me and came to that conclusion?”
Rafe lets out another long groan, dragging a hand over his face before pointing the spoon at you.
“You know what?” He sits forward. “I’m not done.”
You angle toward him, still trying not to smile. “You’re not?”
“I bench three-fifteen.”
“Hot damn.”
“Three-thirty-five on a good day.”
“Oh, thank god—”
“I squat four-fifty.”
“Sensational,” you answer, watching his nostrils flare.
“I’m givin’ you my actual stats and you don’t give a fuck—you’ve seen me shirtless.”
“A few times—”
“A few? All the fucking time.”
“I mean… You are a whore. I’ll give you that—”
“I’m making this embarrassingly easy for you. Use your eyes,” he huffs, flexing for you, trembling with the effort. He rolls his shoulder, showing off his triceps too.
“Wow…” you murmur, letting your eyes wander over his broad body. “…Big boi.”
“…Did you just call me big boi?” he asks, staring at you another second before his eyebrows lift.
“Good boy?”
Rafe’s lips fall open like that title might have very well crossed the line “…I hate that,” he admits.
“Huh?”
“I hate that I liked that. Stop sweet talkin’ me when I’m pissed at you.”
You blink at him, all innocence again. “…Why are you pissed?”
“Shut up… Fuckin’ brat.”
Your head snaps toward him, acting offended yourself. “Rafe Cameron.”
“Rafe Cameron,” he mocks you, lifting his voice to a higher octave.
“Don’t be a bitch about it. It was just a question.”
His eyebrows furrow. “Thin ice.”
“What?”
“That's what you're skatin’ on,” he mutters, his abs tightening with his laugh, the ice cream-slicked spoon gliding along his tongue, looking at you out of the corner of his eye.
Rafe drops his spoon back into the bowl with a dramatic sigh, settling his big body into the couch a little more before he looks over at you.
“Can't even enjoy my sweet treat right now.” He points at you again. “Fuck you.”
“Ughhh,” you scoff, “I’m just messin’ with you, baby.” You reach forward, plucking your phone out of the place you had it resting, thumb tapping with a beep before you toss it to the side.
"…You're joking?"
“‘Bout what?” you ask, your lips curling into a smile.
“‘Bout what, my ass,” he scolds. “You were recording that shit.”
“Well…” You tilt your head, scraping the last bit out of your bowl. “I could lie—” You gasp as his hand closes around your wrist, eating your last bite of ice cream before you can react. “RUDE!”
“ME?” he fires back with the same offense. “You’re rude. And wrong. I’m athletic as fuck. Take it back.”
“I know, baby. I know,” your voice turns impossibly sweet, more sympathetic than not, like you’re trying really hard to believe that just as much as he does, which only fires him up more.
He lets your wrist go and you lean across the little space between you, cupping both of his cheeks in your hands and squishing his face until his lips pucker into an unwilling pout before you kiss him.
He lets you do it too, chuckling through it as you rub your thumbs over the apples of his cheeks.
“I believe you,” you breathe. “So fast.” Your lips pushing against his again. “So talented.”
“Shut up,” he mumbles.
“Six miles a game is so damn impressive, baby.”
“I said five.”
“You’ll get there,” you breathe as his hand comes up to cradle the back of your neck, pulling you into his lap, his other arm hooking tight around your waist.
“You’re impossible,” he mutters.
He kisses you deep, sugar lingering on his soft lips before his tongue slips in. Rafe’s hand drifts lower, dipping between the waistband of your leggings, squeezing the supple flesh underneath in his big palm.
“Should make you suck my cock right here for teasin’ me, pretty,” he mumbles into your kiss. His hand reaches farther, your panties already soaked when his finger traces along the fabric. “You get wet off tormenting me, or what?”
“Maybe,” you breathe.
“Hmm… I got a question for you, baby,” he mutters, letting the tip of his thick finger dip in your wet hole. He pushes in and out slowly, letting that comment dangle in the air for a moment.
“What?” you ask impatiently.
“You athletic, bunny?”
You chuckle against his lips, your chest pushing a little tighter to his. “Maybe,” you whisper, and a crooked smile slides across his lips.
“Run.”
“…What?” you laugh breathlessly, the man still teasing your pussy with his fingers even after the threat.
“You heard me… You. Better. Run,” the words drip past his lips into yours.
“Rafe.”
“I’ll even give you a ten-second head start, baby.”
“You’re kidding—”
“One.”
“…Rafe.”
“Two.”
You scramble over his lap so fast you stumble a little, feet finally finding the hardwood with a slap, fixing your tank top, tugging up the back of your pants as you scurry toward the steps, but he’s already to seven.
“Eight… Nine…”
Behind you, Rafe’s voice follows at the exact same steady pace, his spoon scraping up the last bit of his ice cream, completely unconcerned by your growing panic as your foot hits the first step.
“Ten…”
You squeal, grabbing the banister to keep yourself from slipping as your socks slide against the polished wood.
By the time you hit the middle of the staircase, you’re laughing so hard you can barely breathe, glancing over your shoulder, your eyes matching his.
Rafe’s long legs eat up the distance, moving like the captain of a D1 hockey team—fast, ridiculously athletic, and somehow already much closer than you could ever imagine.
Your scream echoes through the stairwell, bouncing off the high ceilings while Rafe’s laugh follows right behind it.
It isn’t even a normal laugh anymore. It’s loud and completely unhinged. Your heart pounds against your ribs, feet scrambling for any extra bit of traction while you practically throw yourself up the stairs two at a time.
You make it maybe three more steps before a pair of strong arms wraps around your waist, tossing you over his shoulder. Your entire world flips upside down, your eyes landing somewhere around the back of his gray sweats.
“Rafe!” you squeal—Crack! His hand lands against your ass with a playful smack.
“You’ve been runnin’ that mouth for thirty minutes,” he pants. “We threw gloves. I caught ya. Not my fault you’re slow as shit.”
He turns his head, chuckling against your skin before he bites teasingly. He isn’t actually angry—you know that much—but he’s absolutely decided you’re not getting away with tormenting him for the better part of half an hour without paying for it somehow.
“You’re in trouble,” he informs you matter-of-factly as he clears the last few stairs. You groan dramatically, going limp over his shoulder.
Your heart races wildly, every laugh stealing what little air you have left as you throw yourself farther up the staircase.
Rafe’s breathing barely changes. His footsteps never slow, never stumble, his strong legs carrying him up the stairs with the same effortless burst that gets him to loose pucks before anybody else on the ice.
And somewhere in between the first step and the last, you realize you probably should’ve picked a less athletic man to bully for the last thirty minutes.
“I’m sorry. Okay?” you giggle.
“Nah,” he chuckles, shouldering his bedroom door open, kicking it shut behind him with the heel of his foot. “Told you to run,” he reminds you, sounding entirely too pleased with himself. “Gave you a ten-second head start like a gentleman.”
You smack his ass in mock protest, still breathless from laughing all the way up the stairs but before you can say anything he’s flipping you back over.
Your body lands on the comforter, a surprised gasp tripping past your lips as you press yourself up on your elbows to get a better look, but he’s already climbing over you.
The mattress dips beneath his weight as he catches your face with a single hand, smiling so hard he can barely keep a straight face.
The two of you end up rolling sideways, tangled together in a mess of limbs and discarded clothes.
“Fuck, baby,” he teases as his body presses down on top of yours, watching you struggle to catch your breath. “Breathin’ hard and I don’t even have my fingers in you yet.”
“—You should though,” you whisper, the sweetness in your voice almost breaking him. “Felt so good downstairs.”
“Is that so? Glad you were enjoying yourself, pretty,” he mumbles, and you can just hear the “but” waiting to leave his lips after all of that bullying. “You’re not gettin’ off that easy.”
His mouth parts against yours, tongue sweeping slow and hungry, tasting you as his hand moves away. You moan into him as your hands slide up his chest, finger twisting into his hair, dragging him closer.
Rafe’s hips press forward, grinding slow and heavy between your legs, gold chain swinging at his collarbone, dragging cool against your skin.
His hand slides up your body as his lips toy with your breast, biceps swelling when he tilts down, mouthing at your chest and sucking at the gentle skin of your cleavage. He moans around you when you bring his fingers to your lips.
His eyes flick up to yours—dark and heavy as you slide two into your mouth. The tips press against your tongue and your lips seal tight, cheeks hollowing.
He lets out the filthiest groan as you swirl your tongue—just like you would if it were his cock in your mouth—and you know from the look on his face that he’s remembering that little threat he made downstairs.
“You want it, huh?” he asks as you whimper a soft ‘yes’. “Suck it. Maybe I’ll forgive you.”
“Baby,” you sigh, your lips trembling at the corners when you fight back a smile, forcing your lips into a pout.
“You want me to feel bad for you?” he chuckles, rolling you effortlessly on top. You giggle with delight, your hand slapping against his muscular chest as you steady yourself.
His hand tangles in the back of your hair, pulling you down to his mouth. His lips brush against yours, humming out a pleased sound having you on top like this. “Got twenty more minutes of teasin’ you. Do a good enough job and I’ll make it ten—”
“Football,” you grin.
“What?”
“I would have said football.”
“Keep talkin’,” he warns, his palm reaching up, resting on the top of your head, guiding you down. You laugh breathily, dragging your tongue along the deep ridges of his stomach, pressing kisses as you work lower and lower.
He sinks a little deeper into the pillow, lashes lowering as your fingers wrap around his thick dick, pumping as a line of spit falls from your lips.
“Fuck, baby,” he groans. “That’s it.” The praise falls from his lips as his hand rests behind his head, propping himself up for a better look as you tap his swollen tip against your tongue.
The thick muscles in his thighs clench with each slap, jaw dropping as your lips wrap around him tight, one hand slipping into your hair.
You moan around his length, taking him deep, watching his eyes roll back. “Christ… Just—Just like that, baby,” he pants, guiding your head, using your mouth to stroke him.
You let him use you—let him fuck your throat—spit slicking your chin as your eyes water and your hands grip his thighs for balance.
The wet sounds fill his room—every moan, every gag, every obscene sound making you more and more desperate.
His big hands rest on the back of your head, eyes pinching shut, fucking up into your mouth from the bottom. Your nails drive into his thighs, throat hot with the effort as his dick swells on your tongue.
You can tell he’s close, his breathing quickening with each passing second—that praise leaving his lips coming out a little more slurred as your soft lips glide up and down his dick.
“Thinkin’ about cummin’ just like this, pretty. What do you think?” he grits through his teeth—a smug smile painting his features.
You mumble around his dick and he grins, pulling you off him, leaving you reaching for air.
He rolls you again, spreading you open, a scream leaving your lips when he slaps your pussy. Your legs clamp together and all he does is shake his head with a grin, clicking his tongue, gripping your thigh to pin it down again.
He drives into you, burying himself to the hilt, your hands finding his hips, trembling at how deep he is.
Your gasp snaps into a moan, back arching off the mattress, when he draws his hips back, the muscles in his chest and stomach flexing tighter when he drags his body. His eyes fall, eyeing his wet cock, the head dropping between his shoulders as he blows out a deep breath.
“Wanted you so bad I barely made you beg,” his words grumble past his lips as his chain swings in your face.
You pull him down by his necklace, crashing your lips to his again. Your teeth scrape his lip, his tongue licking into your mouth. You’re so wet he slides in and out of you with ease, slick sounds echoing between your bodies.
He grinds down, hips circling, making your breath catch. “Yes,” you cry, clenching around him, and he groans—loud and filthy.
“Look at you. Crying on my cock—” he grunts, slamming his hips forward so hard your body jolts, skin smacking against his. “Fuck, pretty girl. You made a goddamn mess for me, huh?”
Sweat drips off his brow, biceps flexing as he squeezes your hip, keeping you flush to him, using the leverage to slam into you harder.
His hands hook behind your thighs, folding you in half, pinning you to the bed as he drives into you. Your nails claw at the sheets, then at his back, then into his hair, pulling at the roots.
“Rafe—Rafe, holy shit—” he dips down to kiss you—his cock sinking impossibly deep.
“You’re right there. C’mon, pretty girl. Stop bein’ a brat and fuckin’ give it to me.”
Your head falls back, mouth open in a silent cry as your body tightens, every muscle trembling as he keeps hitting that exact spot.
“C’mon, baby. Let him hear who makes you cum.”
Your orgasm rips through you hard, a choked sob escaping your lips as you clamp around him, shaking under his weight.
“That’s it,” he whispers against your mouth, still thrusting through the aftershocks. “Good girl. Good fucking girl.”
You’re soaking him, dripping down your thighs, pulsing around him as he keeps fucking you through it, working you toward another.
“Feel that mess you made?” he asks, smugness laced in every word. “Proud of you, baby. So filthy for me. Need you on top.”
He pulls out fast, making you whine at the loss of him. Rafe wraps his hand around his dick, pumping as he watches you climb on, hovering over him, delicate fingers circling your clit as he licks his bottom lip.
You spread your thighs, sinking on his tip, taking the first few inches, moving up and down teasingly before you take the rest—eyes locked on his, nails digging into his chest.
You ride him hard, your bodies colliding in messy, rhythmic slaps, the sounds of your pleasure filling the room.
Rafe grabs your waist, lifting you just enough to slam back up into you. “You’re gonna cum for me again,” he rasps. “Right fucking now.”
And you do—your belly tightens, the band snaps, and his name tumbles past your lips as your head falls back. Your throat’s ragged from sobbing his name, thighs drenched in sweat and slick, shining under the low light.
“Goddamn, baby… I’m almost there,” he mutters, reaching up to hook a hand around the back of your neck and kiss you, his hips stalling out as a whimper slips from his lips when he sighs that he’s cumming, filling you with his heavy load.
You shut your eyes in exhaustion, his smile sliding against yours as his nose nuzzles yours. His cock throbs inside you still, his heartbeat thudding against yours.
He kisses you again anyway, both of you still breathing hard, forehead resting against yours. His smile lingers, lazy and completely satisfied at how exhausted and fucked-out you look.
“You know…” he murmurs, brushing a thumb across your cheek. “You still haven’t apologized.”
“Yes, I did,” you laugh.
“Mm-mm,” he grunts, pressing a kiss against your forehead.
“Literally said I was sorry,” you pant, drawing in a breath as he waits for you to finish your sentence, not even trying to hide the teasing look on his face.
“For ruinin’ my sweet treat?” he lifts an eyebrow. “No, you fuckin’ didn’t.”
A laugh slips out of you before you can stop it.
“This?” he asks, tipping his chin toward your body. “This reaction’s apology enough for callin’ me unathletic, baby.”
His eyes drift over your face, taking in your damp skin, the little wisps of hair stuck to your forehead, the way you’re still trying to catch your breath.
“Stop,” you chuckle, turning your face away a little as he looks up at you like you’re the prettiest thing he’d ever seen.
“Look at you… So sweaty,” he teases softly, his voice losing most of its bite as his fingertips tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “So fuckin’ beautiful.”
Heat climbs into your cheeks, your lip bitten to hold back your smile. “Stop teasing me, Rafe Cameron.”
“Coming from you?” he smiles, grabbing your cheeks between his fingers before stealing another slow kiss. “M’serious that more than made up for you fuckin’ with me,” he whispers, the words deep—vibrating against your mouth. “Now delete that fuckin’ video.”
“Absolutely not.”
Rafe’s smile spreads against your lips before he lets out a quiet, defeated chuckle, already knowing exactly what your answer would be. He gives your hip a playful squeeze and shakes his head once.
SUMMARY: Four-year-old Noah is still struggling to understand why Vancouver is no longer home. During Minnesota’s family day, an overly curious reporter asks him a question no child should ever have to answer—and Quinn makes it clear that his son is not part of the media’s story.
WC: 2.9k
WARNINGS:I nappropriate question directed at a child, anxiety surrounding relocation, protective dad Quinn, emotional child, comfort, happy ending
Requested: Quinn Hughes + A reporter accidentally asks your child an inappropriate question during family day
Minnesota was supposed to feel like home by now.
At least, that was what you kept telling yourself every morning as you opened the curtains to a view that still looked unfamiliar.
The house was beautiful. The neighborhood was quiet, the people were kind, and Quinn had done everything possible to make the transition easier. He had chosen a place with a backyard big enough for Noah to run around in, made sure his bedroom was painted the same pale blue as the one he’d had in Vancouver, and even arranged his stuffed animals across the bed in precisely the same order.
But Noah knew it wasn’t the same, at four years old, he didn’t understand trades, contracts, management decisions, or why his father had suddenly started wearing different colors.
All Noah understood was that the bedroom window looked different.
His preschool teacher wasn’t Miss Amelia anymore, his grandparents (on your side) weren’t a short drive or a quick flight away, the playground he loved was gone, and the arena no longer had the little hallway where he used to wait for Quinn after games, most painfully, whenever someone asked him where home was, Noah still answered Vancouver.
You and Quinn never corrected him
“Noah, buddy, you ready?” Quinn stood near the entrance of the Wild’s practice facility, already dressed in part of his gear. His skates were missing, but he wore his hockey pants and compression shirt, his hair still slightly damp from the shower he had taken before leaving home.
Noah stared at him from behind your leg.
He was wearing the tiny Minnesota jersey Quinn had ordered for him, with HUGHES written across the back and the number Quinn, the jersey was slightly too large, falling almost to Noah’s knees, but he had refused to let you tuck it in.
“Daddy’s shirt,” he had insisted.
Now, however, surrounded by cameras, employees, players, partners, and excited children, Noah seemed less certain.
Quinn’s expression softened immediately, he crouched several feet away rather than walking straight toward him “Hey,” Quinn said gently. “It’s just me.”
Noah pressed his cheek against your thigh “I know.”
“You wanna come see my new stall?”
Noah hesitated “Is it like your old one?”
The question made something twist inside your chest, Quinn’s smile faltered for only a moment “A little bit,” he answered. “But I put your picture in this one too.”
Noah lifted his head “The one with my dinosaur pajamas?”
“The very same one.”
“You said Mommy couldn’t put that picture anywhere.”
“I said Mommy couldn’t show it to my teammates.”
“You showed Brock.”
Quinn glanced at you, you raised your eyebrows, fighting a smile “Brock saw it by accident,” Quinn defended.
Noah finally stepped away from you and shuffled toward his father. Quinn opened his arms, and Noah walked directly into them, letting Quinn lift him against his chest “There’s my guy,” Quinn murmured, kissing his temple.
Noah wrapped both arms around Quinn’s neck “Are we going home after?”
“We are.”
“To our Minnesota house?” you hated the uncertainty in his voice, Quinn rubbed his back slowly “Yeah, buddy. To our house.”
Noah didn’t answer.
Family day had been presented as something casual—a chance for the families to visit the facility, watch part of practice, take pictures, and spend time together away from the intensity of the regular season.
Quinn had been looking forward to it.
He wanted Noah to see where he worked now. He wanted the new arena to become familiar rather than frightening. He wanted his son to associate Minnesota with something other than packed boxes, tearful goodbyes, and nights spent asking when they were going back to Vancouver.
For most of the morning, it seemed to be working.
Noah sat beside you in the stands during practice, his small hands wrapped around the railing as he watched Quinn skate.
Every time Quinn passed your section, he tapped his stick against the glass, every time, Noah’s face brightened “That’s my daddy,” Noah announced proudly to anyone close enough to hear.
“I know,” you laughed.
“He’s the fastest.”
“I’m not sure about that.”
“He is.”
“Okay.”
“And the best.”
“Definitely.”
After practice, Quinn brought Noah onto the ice.
Noah wore a helmet that seemed comically large on his head and stood between Quinn’s skates while Quinn held him beneath the arms. Noah’s own skates barely touched the ice as Quinn guided him forward.
“I’m doing it!” Noah shouted.
“You’re doing all the work,” Quinn agreed.
“You’re holding me.”
“Just a little.”
“You can let go.”
Quinn loosened his grip for less than a second, Noah immediately squealed and grabbed both of Quinn’s hands “No! Hold me!” Quinn laughed, pulling him safely against his legs “I’ve got you. I’m not letting go.”
You took a picture from the bench.
Quinn looked toward you over Noah’s helmet, smiling in that quiet, private way that still made your stomach flutter. For the first time since the move, the three of you looked settle, not completely, but closer.
the trouble started after they came off the ice.
Several members of the local media had been allowed into a designated section near the locker room to capture harmless family-day content. Most of them were respectful. They asked the players about their children, took pictures of the families, and laughed when one of the younger kids stole a microphone.
Noah was sitting on the bench in front of Quinn’s stall, trying to untie the laces of his tiny skates, Quinn was beside him, still half-dressed in his gear, helping without making it obvious “You have to pull this part,” Quinn explained.
“I know.”
“You’re pulling the wrong lace.”
“I’m doing it myself.”
“All right.” Quinn sat back obediently, Noah struggled for another ten seconds before silently holding his foot toward him.
Quinn hid his smile “Need some help?”
“Just a little.” you stood a few feet away, speaking with one of the other partners, when a reporter approached the stall.
He appeared young and nervous, probably eager to capture something different from the usual family-day clips. His camera operator followed behind him, Quinn noticed them immediately.
He placed one hand against Noah’s back “Quinn,” the reporter greeted him. “Do you mind if we ask you and your son a couple of questions?”
Quinn glanced toward you.
You gave him a small nod. Noah had participated in short interviews before in Vancouver, usually answering simple questions about his favorite player or what snack his father ate before games.
Quinn looked at Noah “You wanna answer some questions?” Noah stared suspiciously at the microphone “Do I get to hold it?”
The reporter laughed “Absolutely.”
He handed Noah the microphone and crouched in front of him “What’s your name?”
“Noah.”
“And how old are you, Noah?”
Noah proudly held up four fingers “Four.”
“Who’s your favorite hockey player?”
“My daddy.”
Quinn’s ears turned pink “Good answer,” the reporter said. “Do you like watching him play for Minnesota?”
Noah looked at Quinn before answering “Yes.”
“What do you like best about Minnesota?” Noah’s small smile disappeared, he stared down at the microphone, Quinn immediately recognized the change “You don’t have to answer, bud,” he said.
Noah leaned slightly closer to him “The snow,” he whispered, the reporter smiled, but instead of taking the hint and moving on, he continued.
“Do you miss Vancouver?” Noah nodded.
“A lot?” Another nod, you had already begun walking toward them, Quinn’s hand moved from Noah’s back to his shoulder “That’s enough about the move,” Quinn said calmly.
It should have ended there.
It would have ended there with anyone who understood boundaries, instead, the reporter looked at Noah and asked, “Were you scared that when your dad left Vancouver, he might leave you and your mom too?”
The locker room seemed to go silent, you stopped walking, Quinn froze, for one horrible second, Noah simply stared at the reporter.
He was four years old.
He didn’t understand that the question was designed to create an emotional clip. He didn’t know it was based on headlines, rumors, and the language people had used when discussing Quinn’s departure.
He only heard one thing, his dad might leave him.
Noah’s lower lip began to tremble, Quinn moved instantly, he took the microphone out of Noah’s hands and gave it back to the reporter, his movements controlled despite the anger sharpening every feature of his face “No.”
The reporter blinked “I’m sorry, I—”
“No,” Quinn repeated. “You don’t ask a four-year-old something like that.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“I don’t care what you meant.” Quinn rarely raised his voice, he didn’t raise it then either.
That somehow made it more severe.
His tone was low and unwavering, and every person nearby could hear the fury beneath it “He’s a child,” Quinn said. “He isn’t here to answer questions about my career, our move, or whatever story you’re trying to turn my family into.”
The reporter stood up quickly “I genuinely apologize.”
“You should apologize to him.”
The reporter looked toward Noah, but Noah had already thrown himself into Quinn’s chest “Daddy,” he whimpered.
Quinn’s anger disappeared from his face immediately, he pulled Noah onto his lap and wrapped both arms around him “I’m here,” Quinn murmured. “I’ve got you.”
Noah buried his face against Quinn’s neck “You’re not leaving?” Quinn closed his eyes, your heart broke at the fear in your son’s voice “No.” Quinn held him tighter. “Never. I’m never leaving you.”
“But you left our house.”
“I know.”
“And your old team.”
“I know, buddy.”
Noah began to cry, not loudly. Noah rarely cried loudly when he was genuinely upset. Instead, his small body shook, and his fingers clutched the fabric of Quinn’s shirt as though he believed his father might disappear if he loosened his grip.
You reached them and sat beside Quinn “Noah,” you said softly, he turned just enough to see you, his cheeks already wet “Mommy.”
“I’m here too.” You brushed his hair away from his forehead, the reporter attempted another apology, but a member of the team’s communications staff quickly guided him and the camera away.
Quinn didn’t look up.
His entire focus was on Noah “Listen to me,” Quinn said, moving Noah back enough to see his face. “Daddy changing teams doesn’t mean I’m leaving our family.”
Noah sniffled “But you went away first.”
The words struck Quinn visibly, the trade had happened quickly, too quickly.
Quinn had flown to Minnesota first to meet with management, complete medical evaluations, and begin practicing. You and Noah had remained in Vancouver for another two weeks while the movers packed the house and you handled everything that couldn’t be arranged from another country.
Quinn had called constantly.
He had read Noah stories over FaceTime, eaten dinner with you through a screen, and slept with his phone on the pillow beside him in case Noah woke up crying, but to a four-year-old, his father had still packed a suitcase and vanished “I did,” Quinn admitted. “And I’m sorry that scared you.”
“Are you going somewhere again?”
“I have road trips sometimes, but I always come back.”
“To Minnesota?”
“To you,” Quinn corrected gently. “I come back to you and Mommy. It doesn’t matter which house we’re living in.”
Noah looked between you “What if they make you leave Minnesota?”
Quinn’s jaw tightened, but his voice remained soft “Then we would talk about it together.”
“And we all go?”
“We all go,” you promised.
“No one goes first?” Quinn glanced at you, the guilt in his eyes almost unbearable “No one goes first,” he said. “Not like last time.”
Noah studied him for several seconds “You promise?” Quinn lifted Noah’s small hand and pressed it against his own chest “I promise you that there is nowhere I would ever go where I wouldn’t want you and Mommy with me.”
“Even Vancouver?”
“Even Vancouver.”
“Even Michigan?”
“Even Michigan.”
Noah’s brows knitted together “What about space?” Quinn nodded solemnly “I’d need a bigger spaceship, but yes.”
Noah let out a watery giggle, the sound released some of the pressure in the room, you leaned forward and kissed Noah’s cheek “Do you want to go home?”
Noah nodded, Quinn started removing the rest of his gear immediately, he didn’t care about the scheduled lunch, the team photographs, or the activities planned for the afternoon.
The organization could manage without him, his son needed him.
When you reached the parking lot, Noah refused to walk. Quinn carried him with one arm while holding your hand with the other, Noah rested his head on Quinn’s shoulder “Daddy?”
“Yeah?”
“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Quinn glanced at you, you already knew neither of you would be capable of saying no “Our bed,” you corrected.
“Our bed,” Noah repeated.
“Of course,” Quinn told him.
“And can we watch my movie?”
“The dinosaur one?”
“Yes.”
“The one we’ve watched six times this week?”
Noah lifted his head “Seven.” Quinn sighed dramatically “Well, we can’t stop at six.”
At home, Noah changed into his pajamas even though it was still early in the afternoon. He curled up between you and Quinn on the couch, holding one of Quinn’s hands in both of his.
He didn’t let go for the entire movie.
When Noah eventually fell asleep, his cheek was pressed against Quinn’s ribs and his legs were stretched across your lap, Quinn stared down at him “He thought I left him.”
You reached across Noah and touched Quinn’s arm “He was confused.”
“I should’ve handled it differently.”
“You handled an impossible situation the best way you could.”
“I went ahead without you.”
“You had to.”
“I still did it.” his fingers moved gently through Noah’s hair “I knew he was having a hard time,” Quinn whispered. “I didn’t know he thought I could leave him.”
“He’s four, Quinn. He doesn’t know how to explain what he’s afraid of until someone gives the fear a name.”
Quinn’s jaw clenched “Someone who had no right to do that.”
“No,” you agreed. “He didn’t.”
Quinn looked toward you “I should’ve stopped the interview as soon as he asked about Vancouver.”
“You did stop it.”
“Not fast enough.”
You squeezed his arm “This isn’t your fault.”
His gaze returned to Noah, for several minutes, neither of you spoke, the television played quietly in the background, filling the living room with the familiar voices of animated dinosaurs. Boxes still sat unopened near the wall. A framed photo from your Vancouver home rested on the floor because you hadn’t decided where to hang it.
Quinn noticed it too “Maybe we’ve been trying too hard to make him forget Vancouver,” he said.
You looked at him “I don’t want him to forget it.”
“Neither do I.”
“It was his home.”
“It was ours too.”
Quinn reached for your hand “What if we put the pictures up?”
“The Vancouver ones?”
“All of them. His room, the seawall, the arena, his preschool. We could make a little photo wall in his room.”
You smiled faintly “He’d like that.”
“And we’ll visit when we can.”
“Yes.”
Quinn was quiet before adding, “But we make things here too. New places that belong to him. Not replacements. Just…more.”
“More home?”
“Yeah.”
Noah stirred between you, his eyes opened slightly, unfocused with sleep “Daddy?”
“I’m right here.”
Noah tightened his hold on Quinn’s hand “You didn’t go?”
“No.” Quinn bent down and kissed his forehead “I’m not going anywhere.”
Noah’s eyes closed again, a few days later, the team released a statement announcing stricter boundaries regarding interactions between media members and players’ children.
Quinn didn’t care about the public response.
He didn’t read the arguments online or watch the clip that had briefly circulated before the organization requested its removal, instead, he spent his next free afternoon helping Noah decorate his bedroom.
They placed photographs from Vancouver along one wall, Noah at the beach, Noah sitting in Quinn’s old stall, Noah bundled in a Canucks beanie, sleeping against Quinn’s chest after a game.
Beside those pictures, they added new ones.
Noah on the Minnesota ice, Noah wearing his oversized Wild jersey, the three of you standing in front of your new house. When they were finished, Noah sat on Quinn’s shoulders and examined the wall “That’s Vancouver,” he said, pointing.
“It is.”
“And that’s Minnesota.”
“Yep.”
“Which one is home?” Quinn lowered Noah carefully and turned him around, for a moment, he seemed to consider the answer, then he placed one hand over Noah’s heart “Anywhere we’re together.”
Noah looked toward you from across the room “Mommy too?”
“Especially Mommy.”
You laughed, Noah wrapped his arms around Quinn’s neck “So Minnesota is home?”
Quinn held him tightly “It can be.”
“And Vancouver is home?”
“It can be too.”
Noah thought about that, then he smiled “I have two homes.” Quinn looked over Noah’s shoulder at you, his eyes soft “No,” he said quietly. “You have one family.” He kissed Noah’s temple “And we’ll make a home wherever we go.”
✮⋆˙ warning: smut, MDNI!!! Bottom!Oscar Top!Lando (yes i also believe in bottom oscar piastri supremacy 🫦👈 @osctwink ) and Sub!reader
✮⋆˙ summary: landoscar x f!reader, – it's almost 3k word of full smut – just smut with no plot bc i'm horny (also let's pretend Lando messed up a race)
✮⋆˙ a/n: pleeease let me know if i messed up English and tell me if you liked it!! i want to contribute so much to the landoscarxreader
♡ ‧₊˚ ⋅ ౨ৎ ‧₊ .ᐟ⋆𐙚₊˚⊹♡
Oscar came out of the bathroom; droplets of water on his torso made his skin glow under the warm lights of their shared bedroom. A towel tucked around his waist but low enough to see his V-line.
His eyes met them. Lando and his girl making out laying on the bed, moaning into each other's mouths. Oscar stopped moving to enjoy the view displayed in front of him, the 81 shirt you wore made his heart melt.
You were feeling the soft touch of Lando's hand over your thigh, his bracelets tickling your skin. Lando was craving intimacy after a bad race, he wanted to be comforted, to be in your embrace to have nothing else on his mind.
"Couldn't wait for me, I see"
Lando removed himself from you to look at his boyfriend, the winner of today's grand prix. There was a slight bit of sadness in his eyes; they didn't talk that much since they left the paddock. You could feel a light touch of awkwardness between them.
"You did your best" As if Oscar could read his mind "I'll stand next to you on Monza"
Lando gave a half-smile, the younger driver leaned into the bed and cupped his cheeks and he parted his lips with his thumb and softly took them between his own.
Oscar could feel the older boy relax into the kiss, the older's hands travelled across his abs. Lando broke the kiss for an instant, his eyes examining up and down the body in front of him.
"Did you gain some abs?"
"Like what you see?" He grinned.
"Shut up"
And they were lost in each-other's touch again, and as much as you loved seeing your boyfriends in love, you couldn't bear the feeling building up between your thighs.
"Hmm Hmm" You coughed to get their attention.
"Someone feels left out?" Lando smirked.
The aussie immediately came by your side, tucking your hair behind your ear and kissed your jaw, your neck, leaving kisses down your body, passed your navel to end up between your thighs.
"My favourite pair" he whispered, he glanced at you waiting for your approval before kissing over your panties.
"Make room for me will yah" Lando said putting his hands on his boyfriend's nape "You want both of our tongue baby ?" He pecked your knee as Oscar thrown your panties on the floor.
You nodded, your breath stuck in your throat, eager to know how their mouth would feel on your most private parts.
"So pretty" Oscar mumbled to himself, he brushed his fingers over your pussy sending shivers down your spine "she's already so wet" he beamed looking at the boy next to him.
"You just want a tongue all over your pussy, don’t you sweetheart?" Lando settled himself next to Oscar, their shoulders pressing together. You felt a wet and warm feeling on your folds and heard a small moan, the sound muffled into your core.
And then, another feeling: a gentle kiss on your clit, kitten licks all over in circles. Oscar was teasing your bud over and over while Lando's tongue was lapping at your entrance.
Oscar must have felt the way his boyfriend was slurping all of your taste. He brought his tongue to your entrance and made his way along Lando, who moved up to your clit. The groan coming from their throats sent vibrations straight to your pussy.
"Mh can't get enough off her– taste so good mh"
You felt their hands spreading your thighs to stop them from crushing their heads. The heavy wet sounds they did made your head spin; you looked down and saw their tongue brushed against one another. And soon they were French kissing, Lando's lips tucked between Oscar's.
You locked your fingers through their hair, tingling strands gently. Lando removed himself from between your thighs and pushed Oscar delicately next to you. The towel around the younger's waist was almost undone, his happy trail poking out. But nothing could hide the evident erection that built a tent with the tissue.
You crashed your lips into Oscar's, tasting yourself in his mouth, you feel his hips jerk up slightly.
"Uh uh someone's horny" Lando chuckled, taking off his shirt.
"Says the guy who's been begging me all day to suck me off" His cheeks changed into a light shade of pink at the memory of today's event before the race.
The brit grabbed the towel, and stared at his lover who nodded. Nicely trimmed, his dick was red and heavy on his abs. You kissed his pink cheeks one last time
"Gotta congratulate my race winner" you beamed as you got down on him.
You kissed the tip of his head, tasting the sweet precum coming out from it. You started with slow and wet strokes of your tongue.
"What are you waiting for" Oscar grinned staring at his teammate.
Lando's tongue was brushing yours while Oscar's cock was between both your mouth. He seized the sheets, holding his breath, trying to smother his moans. That was so much like him, every time trying to stay compose, shyness to be so sensitive because of your touches.
"Fuuck "
And of course, it takes a little time to break him into a whimpering mess. Lando focused on the base lapping the underside of his cock as you wrapped your soft lips around the head.
Sliding your mouth down his cock, you felt his veins against your tongue. Taking him as deep as you could. Oscar's hands flying into the curly-headed boy, Lando's tongue wet on his balls.
"Aah– You should– mngh– stop I– I'll be too soon"
You both obliged, giving your boyfriend one last slow lick from the bottom to the top of his cock. Lando lay down next to him and brought his lips to his tenderly.
"I'm first you're second?" He asked while taking hold of your waist to guide you over his lap. Lando moved your hips grinding himself into you to release the burning feeling. Oscar gave his dick fast and needy strokes, focused on your pussy wetting his teammate's cock, begging to be stuffed full.
"Can you keep my shirt on?" The younger asked.
"Why?" The older frowned.
"What do you mean why?"
"Last time it was yours too" Lando pouted, "when will it be my time?"
"Jealous?" You smirked, rolling your hips to feel Lando's tip rubbing against your clit. Oscar chuckled glancing at the boy next to him.
"Uh yeaaaah duh" He raised you up for a second and slid you down on his cock in one thrust. A cry escaped your mouth.
You wore his teammate's shirt? As you want, but he's making you HIS, only being able to scream HIS name, the only one to make you cum while Oscar could just watch.
His thrusts were hard and needy, fucking his cock deep into you. His cock deep into your pussy with every up and down.
"Fuck– you're beautiful" Lando moaned as he rested his arms behind his head, admiring your body and how you look so needy for him.
Oscar's eyes were lost on the dick appearing and disappearing inside of you. He reached his left hand where both of his lovers were connected to rub soft circles on your clit while his right hand was pumping fast on his throbbing cock.
Oscar's fingers, Lando pushing up against your core, your body shivering with sensitivity.
"Yes– Yeah–! –mmh Lando"
You sank down and your thighs trembled. Unable to keep your rhythm, the boy underneath you grabbed your hips probably leaving bruises later from the tight hold. Oscar closed his eyes, listening to both of your moans, the wet sounds coming from your connection made him lose his mind.
"Can't wait to have you on my dick"
You felt every inch stretching you, craving fullness, but your sensitive pussy made you lose any rational thoughts. His cock hitting that sweet spot relentlessly.
"Oh my –god –fuuuck" a pornographic moan pulled out of your mouth. You felt your pussy contracting around his dick, a build up sensation ready to explode in your stomach.
Lando chased his own orgasm, using you for his pleasure, fucking his dick hard into your pulsating pussy. His hair sticking on his forehead, glancing at the boy next to him pumping himself furiously.
It was too much, and you clenched around the older boy, moaning his name again and again as you came.
Lando stopped abruptly. Not fucking you through it as usual. You felt betrayed, your orgasm stolen from you. Oscar opened his eyes. His own soon-to-be orgasm shut down. He met your frustrated look and raised an eyebrow to the brit next to him.
"I've an idea" he grinned, an interrogating look on Oscar face. He carefully lifted you up leaving an empty feeling inside you. Though you were sensitive, not coming properly made you eager for more.
"Did you prep?" Lando said looking at his boyfriend. Oscar blinked, taken aback.
"Well no... remember we had a race 3 hours ago"
Lando manhandled you to lay on your back with a kiss on your forehead.
"On your knees" he commanded to his teammate. Oscar came between your legs, resting his arms on each side of your hips. "Good boy"
You all have been together for so long, but he still felt incredibly shy and exposed in front of you; he lowered his upper body so he could hide his face in your stomach.
Lando stood behind him, licking his lips. He could see his boyfriend's cock dangling in front of him, so milkable. He bit his lips and looked at you
"Can you grab the lube baby?" he said pointing to the night table with his chin. You reached out for the tube, cherry flavour Oscar's favourite. Lando took it from your hands and spread a good amount on his fingers.
Oscar felt the pressure of Lando's fingers, he pushed slowly past the tight ring of muscle. You curled your fingers in Oscar's hair as he rested his forehead on your thighs. The boy relaxed in your arms, allowing Lando to slide his fingers gently into him.
You moved your hand down, touching yourself to the boys in front of you. The younger one quickly removed your hand to replace it with his mouth. You gasped as you felt him moan into your pussy.
Lando added a second finger, grinding them inside, and soon found his boyfriend's sweet spot. He pressed down on it and massaged it with every thrust.
Oscar bit your thighs to muffle a moan, precum dripping down the sheets beneath him. The older boy was knuckles deep inside him and every time his fingers sank he loosened a bit.
You felt the slow and uncoordinated strokes of Oscar's tongue his movements were uneven, making it hard to concentrate on your pleasure. Lando saw your pleading look in your eyes, withdrew his long fingers and caressed the flesh of his lover's ass. Oscar whined, greedy for more.
Lando grabbed his teammate waist and bring Oscar's back to his chest, separating the boy from your pussy. Both of the boys got off the bed and stood by it.
"Baby" Lando said looking at you over Oscar's shoulder "Lay down on your stomach for me, ass up"
You did as you were told; you moved close to the border of the bed, your ass sticking out, your tiptoe touching the floor.
The aussie couldn't wait any longer, he fondled your back lovingly. You felt his cock rubbing on your cheeks, rubbing your pussy wetting his cock.
"Can I?" He asked with flushed cheeks.
"Yes please" you begged.
He pushed his thick cock into your dripping hole. The earlier teasings making you wet as a fountain, your wetness coating his dick the sound of your skin slapping echoed through the room
"Hhm– Fuuck" he whined, his balls tight ready to burst. "So tight for me" He took a deep breath, calming his nerves to make him last enough to have you trembling under him.
Lando bit his lips, grabbed a condom from the nightstand and the lube on the bed.
"You‐You're made for me" Oscar's voice broke, he gripped your hips roughly and pushed them into his cock.
Lando came back behind Oscar. He rolled the condom over his dick and rubbed it between his boyfriend's ass cheeks as he poured the liquid all over him.
"Gotta congratulate my boy for his win" he grinned, quoting your words.
"Stop teasing" the younger one whined as he stopped fucking your pussy to get still.
Oscar's eyes closed as he felt himself stretched around the other McLaren boy. He gasped at the intrusion. You ground your pussy against his cock, the pleasure from it helping him relax.
Lando was in. He was giving soft ins and outs. Sliding himself deeper with each thrust. Oscar moved slowly, getting accustomed to the new feeling. Weak in the knees, as he drove his cock into you, Lando's cock was pulling back.
"Soo good– You're so tight I almost came on the spot" Lando said.
You felt it twitching inside you. Pure pleasure went all the way, as Oscar pushed himself into you hard. Suddenly you felt his hips slamming back and forth fast into you.
"Ooh fuuck Osc–" You moaned, feeling yourself clenching around him.
You turn your head to look at your boyfriends. Oscar's head was thrown back, his eyes closed, mouth wide. Lando's nails digging into your boyfriend's hips.
He crushed Oscar's ass into his cock, burying himself deeper into the other boy. The movement made the aussie pull out of you, leaving just the tip at your entrance. As Lando pulled out of him, he made Oscar push back into you.
"You mmngh love being f–fucked like that baby" Oscar panted.
"Yeah I– I–love it pleeease Osc–" you replied
Lando touched that soft spot again, making the boy behind you a whimpering mess. His voice cracked, repeating your name like a prayer.
"Mm not gonna l–last I– mnghh I'm gonna–"
You ground against his cock, feeling your pussy pulsating around him and your lower stomach tighten. Lando was using his boyfriend to fuck you. Lando took Oscar's hips to fuck you hard, chasing through him your release.
The thought made your head spin.
You heard your name being moaned, and you felt his cock throbbing inside you. Oscar milked his cock inside of you, warm cum filling you up. He removed himself leaving you stuffed and full of him.
The brit kissed the boy shoulder as he pulled out slowly, he got rid of the condom and in an instant plunge his dick inside of you. He smiled at the mixed juices coming out of your pussy.
"Gotta take care of our girl" he smiled at his boyfriend who lay back next to you. You held his hands and locked your eyes with his as Lando fucked your already full pussy. His balls slapped on your clit and his thrusts were making your body jerk under him.
Unsteady breath, his thrust sending tingles down your body, his cock bullying his way over and over. He felt so good inside of you, fucking you senseless. He couldn't hold it anymore.
"Yeah – baby just like that – mnggh– feel soo good– !"
Twitching inside you, Lando blew his load into your pulsating pussy. Hot cum filling your pussy mixing with the previous liquid. Your walls squeezed him hard, eyes shut, back arched and a jolt of electricity run down your body.
Lando tried to catch his breath, still deep inside you, not wanting to get separated. You felt deezy, lost in heaven. Oscar tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear.
Maybe you're crazy, or maybe Lando's crazy, but you're both pretty sure his teammate Oscar has a crush on both of you?
And fuck it, why not have a little bit of fun while you figure it out?
AKA - the fic in which you and Lando torture poor, sweet Oscar
Warnings: 18+ Content, PWP (some plot.... mostly porn...), dirty talk, praise, oral (m & f receiving), thigh riding, p in v, fairly light dom/sub themes, dom lando, sub oscar, switch reader, everybody's bisexual in this house, biting, unprotected sex (be safe pls guys lol), completely pathetic oscar piastri, not beta read..., katsreading classic shitty ending...
Word Count: 9k
Note: I'm sooooo sorry for teasing this fic for months. I have no explanation for why it took so long to write. It's a completely self-indulgent work of PORN. I hope u guys love it bc it's actually kinda my baby at this point. Seriously, this thing is 20 pages in a word doc. (15 of those pages are just straight up porn!!!!!!!!)
The first time Lando brings it up, you’re pretty sure he’s gone insane.
“You’re letting the rivalry stuff get to you head, Lan,” you say softly, stroking a stray curl out of his face.
You’re sat back on your living room sofa, watching-but-not-really-watching something on the TV, and Lando’s sprawled across you, legs tangled through yours as his head rests against your chest.
“I’m telling you, I’m right,” he insists, not bothering to look up. “Oscar has a crush on you.”
You laugh, completely unconvinced, but he continues. “I’ve caught him staring at you more than once, and not just in a normal way. Do you remember in the drivers’ room in Bahrain, when you bent down to tie your laces? I’m pretty sure he stopped breathing for a second. And in Austria, when you hugged me after quali he went bright red.”
He says it all in one long rush of words. When he’s done, you shake your head, fighting not to laugh again. “Babe, he was probably just zoned out. You know how boring work stuff can get! I feel like you’re thinking too far into this.”
He tilts his chin up, stubborn as always. “I know what I saw.”
The two of you laugh it off, though, because the thought of Oscar Piastri harbouring a quiet little crush on his teammate’s girlfriend is quite silly.
It’s so silly, that the thought doesn’t cross your mind again for weeks.
Until Silverstone, when Lando wins, and you find yourself screaming at the top of your lungs as he gets up onto the podium.
You’ve giggled at pictures of yourself like this before, looking up at the podium as Lando receives his trophy. You can never manage to hide that adoring look in your eyes, like nothing matters but him, and you can feel it shining through now while you clap and cheer until your voice is hoarse.
There’s something so special about seeing your boy standing where he belongs.
The British national anthem begins, and for just a second your attention flicks to the left, where Oscar stands in his own spot on the podium.
You expect him to be staring straight off into the crowd, or perhaps tilting his head back, shutting his eyes as the anthem plays. What you don’t expect is to find him staring straight at Lando, with a far too familiar look in his eyes. The same look you were giving Lando ten seconds ago.
You blink up at him, like maybe your eyes will focus, and see that Oscar’s not even on the podium and you were just making things up. This does not happen. Oscar remains on the podium, and his eyes remain fixed on your boyfriend.
The national anthem comes to an end, and Oscar finally manages to drag his eyes away from Lando.
When he looks down into the crowd, his gaze collides with yours, and there’s a flicker of awareness in his expression, as his cheeks pink ever so slightly. It’s over in a second, though, because then the champagne is out, and there’s no time to think about anything other than celebrations.
In the garage, Lando finally seeks you out, planting a firm kiss on your lips the second he can reach you.
He pulls away to speak to you, grin spreading across his cheeks, still completely high from his win. Usually, you’d let him yap at you for hours straight after a race, but right now? Something sparked in you, seeing the way Oscar stared up at your boyfriend. Something that certainly won’t be satiated by a peck on the lips.
You wrap a hand around Lando’s neck, pulling him back towards you.
You catch him a little bit off guard, but it doesn’t take him long to melt into you, his big hands firm at your waist, pressing you against him as he lets his tongue explore your mouth. He tastes like champagne and victory, and it’s taking every ounce of restraint in you not to tear all his clothes off and give him a real winner’s reward.
Especially when you can feel the solid outline of chest through his soaked shirt.
You’re actually pretty sure you could, without anyone noticing. It’s so chaotic in the paddock right now that nobody is paying the two of you a lick of attention.
(Plus, it’s not like it would be the first time you and Lando have had sex in public… though maybe his place of work still isn’t the best time to go for a round two..?)
Somehow, you manage to drag yourself away from the kiss moments before it becomes straight up pornographic.
Lando’s cheeks are flushed, and his lips are still parted. He tilts his head, a grin spreading across his cheeks.
“What was that for?” he asks, breath hot against your ear as he leans back in, in close enough for you to hear him.
You bite your lip, not fully sure if you should tell Lando the real answer. But you do.
“I think,” you reply, “Oscar might have a crush on you.”
“Yeah?” mutters Lando.
You nod.
“Because I think,” he replies, tilting his head to the left ever so slightly, “He might have a crush on both of us.”
You follow his eyeline to where Oscar stands across the room, looking away from the two of you. His ears flush pink as both of you stare.
*
It’s not an uncommon sight, to find you, Lando, and Oscar sat around in the McLaren motorhome after a race.
Most friends and family choose to return to their hotels at this point, to avoid hours of sitting around and waiting, but you like the quiet time with the boys, listening to them recapping the race in private before they’re dragged away to do media stuff.
Today is no different. Lando is sat back on the sofa, legs spread comfortably as he explains his mindset through turn one to Oscar. You’re slotted in beside him, one arm around his shoulders, stroking his neck lazily as he speaks.
Oscar listens carefully, clinging on to Lando’s every word—like he always does—but his voice wavers when he replies. Lando asks him a question about his tyres into turn one, and Oscar starts to answer, but you lean in just a little bit closer to Lando as he does, purely to see if he’ll react.
Your hand slips into Lando’s hair, brushing a stray curl from his forehead, and when he turns his head slightly you press a soft kiss right below his ear. It’s completely innocent, of course, but it certainly does something to Oscar, because he trips over his words right away.
You drag your eyes away from Lando, to watch as a flushed pink spreads from Oscar’s neck, kissing up his freckles until it settles at his cheeks.
Lando, cool as a cucumber, pretends not to notice that Oscar has essentially turned to a babbling pile of mush, and stretches his arm along the back of the sofa behind you, brushing his fingers over your shoulder before he responds.
“That’s interesting, mate. Think it’s one we could both work on, but I definitely think you managed it better there.” He says, though it appears to go in one ear and out the other.
The best reply Oscar can conjure up is a small nod paired with a large gulp. He attempts to continue, talking about his best lap time of the race, and the incident with the cars at the back towards the start of the race, but his voice shakes each time one of you shifts in your seat.
You try very hard not to laugh, because it is a little bit cruel, but you can’t help that you’re a bit like cats sometimes, playing with your prey before you pounce.
When a member of the media team appears at the door, clipboard in hand, and announces that it’s ‘Interview O’Clock,’ Lando sighs dramatically, and attempts to cling onto you a little bit longer.
You manage to stand from the sofa despite his attempts, leaning down to kiss him quickly before you go. Then, you turn to Oscar, bending down across the sofa, and press a light kiss to his cheek. It’s a perfectly friendly goodbye.
A perfectly friendly goodbye that manages to turn Oscar an even more neon shade of pink. He freezes for half a second as the blush spreads, before managing to mumble a soft “bye,” under his breath. Lando watches this with a smug grin, and his eyes briefly flick to yours as you walk out the door.
You smile back, pretending not to notice that Oscar still hasn’t managed to recover.
*
There’s two weeks until the next race, and somebody at McLaren decides that this means Monday night is a perfectly acceptable day of the week to go out drinking.
You’d love to be able to say that you weren’t expecting to end up six cocktails deep clinging to Lando’s bicep at the VIP table of a ridiculously exclusive club, but unfortunately you know yourself far too well for that, and you’re not sure you and Lando have ever managed to go for ‘just one casual drink’. What you might not have been able to predict, however, is that Oscar Piastri would decide to join you for the night.
Oscar Piastri, who gags at the smell of vodka and takes an hour to finish half a pint.
It’s that part of the night, where everyone is either drunk or politely excused themself an hour ago, where your skin is warm and sticky and your options are to dance or take a nap.
Most of the remaining team have chosen to take themselves to the dancefloor, but you, Lando, and Oscar remain sprawled out across the plush purple booth.
Lando’s arm is around your shoulders, fingers softly tracing lines up and down your bare skin. You’re a touchy couple on an average day, but a few drinks in? you couldn’t pay Lando to take his hands off you.
Oscar sits opposite you, stirring a deep golden drink as he avoids your gaze. His cheeks are once again flushed, partially from the alcohol, partially from the warmth of the room, and maybe a little bit from simply being around you and Lando. His shirt is unbuttoned just enough to expose the sharp rise and fall of his collarbones as he breathes, and you don’t try to hide the way your eyes trace his freckles.
Lando leans in closer to you, his lips brushing against the edge of your jaw. You keep your eyes on Oscar but lean into his touch. The smell of Lando’s cologne always does something to you, and this many drinks in you’re melting like butter for him. When his hand runs up your thigh to rest at your hip, you don’t hesitate to turn to him.
The kiss starts out warm and familiar, almost like you’re whispering that you love each other over the music. It doesn’t stay like that though. Maybe it’s the music, or the drinks, or Oscar’s eyes on you, but something heats up the kiss.
Your hands wander up and down Lando’s arms, his back, his thighs as you kiss, desperate for more contact. You actually moan into his mouth when he grabs a handful of ass, like you’re starved of his touch or something, and didn’t literally fuck him six hours ago.
When you break for air, Lando’s grin is lazy as he looks at you in that way that tells you he’s got about thirty minutes of this left in him before he bends you over the nearest flat surface and makes you cum until you cry.
Part of you considers that this club could use a bit of entertainment, and maybe you should test it out? The rational part of you agrees that you’ll keep it to the bedroom tonight.
But not quite yet.
You glance across the table and catch Oscar’s expression. He’s caught somewhere between fascination and guilt, lips parted in a half gasp as he glances away, eyes never meeting yours.
He tries to act casual, fingers tapping the side of his glass as his eyes dart over to the bar then back to you and Lando. It’s almost endearing.
You tilt your head slightly, and Lando takes it as an invite to trace your jaw with his teeth, drawing a soft whimper—silent against the pounding club music—from your lips.
When his lips meet yours once more, his tongue is greedier as he nips at your bottom lip, hands tangling through your hair as he pulls your head back, granting him further access to your mouth. The burning heat of Oscar’s gaze only spurs you on, rocking your body against Lando’s as you continue to kiss.
It’s Lando who pulls away this time, with a low murmur of, “It’s time to go.”
As much as you love being a little bit of a brat sometimes, when Lando’s voice sounds like that, and you know exactly what’s waiting for you back at the hotel,you’re certainly not putting up a fight.
You follow Lando out of the booth, pausing to say goodbye before you go.
“Don’t stay out too late, Osc,” he shouts over the pounding music, slapping a hand against Oscar’s shoulder before finding your hand once again.
You run a hand up Oscar’s arm, giving the solid muscle a quick squeeze. “Goodnight, Oscar,” you say, in the sweetest voice you can produce, like you haven’t just sat and tortured the poor guy for an hour.
And then you leave him, flushed and tipsy, to his own thoughts.
*
When you get back to your hotel room, there’s not much talking.
Not until you’re naked, adjusting yourself above Lando’s dick.
“Fuck,” he whispers, as you grind down onto him him. “So pretty like this, baby.”
You steady your hands against his chest, tracing lines up his tanned skin. He’s still wearing his white shirt, but he’s unbuttoned it completely.
He sits up, trying to shrug off the shirt, but you catch his wrist before he can get it off.
“Leave it on, please?” You ask, words broken into a half-moan as you feel him shift in his seat again, pressing himself deep inside of you.
He raises an eyebrow, lips quirking up into a smile. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you reply, breathy, rocking your hips against him, chasing any friction you can find. “Looked so fucking good today, Lan. Couldn’t stop thinking about this all night.”
“Mm,” he murmurs, keeping his eyes locked on yours. “Did you see the way Oscar was staring at us?”
You nod. “Couldn’t take his eyes off us.”
Lando thinks before he speaks again, rocking his hips up, forcing another moan out of you. “Do you think he’s picturing us now?”
And suddenly there’s an image in your head, of Oscar, all alone in his hotel room, whimpering as he finds his climax but it’s still not enough to satisfy him, not now that he’s had the thought of the two of you using him like a toy.
“I think he’s fucking his hand,” you reply, voice a soft whisper, “wishing he was here with us.”
And you feel the way Lando’s body responds to that—jaw clenching, hips snapping up into you, as he pictures the two of you having your way with his sweet teammate.
“I bet he’s never had a threesome,” he says once he’s able to form a sentence.
“We’d treat him so well,” you gasp, fully riding him now.
Lando pulls you down against him, his movements becoming far less patient and controlled. “We’d ruin him.”
You can’t help the grin that spreads across your face, when you reply, “Maybe we should.”
His response is a soft hum, which he lets out right before lifting you off him like you weigh absolutely nothing. You gasp at the sudden feeling of emptiness, but it doesn’t last long, because then he’s flipping you onto your stomach and lining himself up with your entrance from behind.
“You’d love it, wouldn’t you baby?” He groans, as he pushes himself into you, not giving you that achingly slow moment to adjust this time, fucking in and out, hard.
He grabs a handful of your hair, yanking your head back as he pounds into you, the new angle allowing him to hit an even deeper spot than before.
You can barely find it in you to form the word, “Yes,” but you manage it, and it comes out a desperate, pleading sob. “I’d love it.”
“I know, my love.” He replies, planting a kiss at the base of your neck before dropping a hand to rub slow circles against your now-throbbing clit.
It’s devastating—the combination of Lando thrusting into you, so hard and so unrelenting, paired with his hand, so gentle as it guides you towards your orgasm. You don’t have to tell him when you’re close, because he already knows it, and he is too.
His hand speeds up, pace not faltering until jolts of pleasure are coursing through your veins and you’re seeing stars.
The feeling of you clenching around him as you moan out his name is just enough to push Lando over the edge too.
His thrusts slow to a deep, final stop, and he presses his fingers into your thighs hard as he reaches his climax.
He’s still for a moment, before he pulls out, just taking in the sight of you underneath him. When he does, you roll over, panting heavily, trying to catch your breath. When you lock eyes with Lando, he leans over to kiss you once again, softly this time.
Before his lips meet yours, you whisper, “You’d love it too.”
“Of course I would,” he replies. And that’s that decided.
*
Date night, a week and a half into summer break, you’re just on the verge of being tipsy as you and Lando make your way home—both of you agreeing to walk through the warm streets of Monaco rather than bothering to wait for a driver to pick you up.
Lando’s hand rests on your waist, always a steadying presence by your side. He leads you round a familiar corner, just a few streets away from your apartment.
And that’s when you see him.
Oscar, looking so perfectly sweet, lovely Oscar, in shorts and a dark hoodie, hair flopping down into his eyes as he walks right into you.
He notices you just a second after you notice him, but that second is enough for Lando to give your waist one tight, firm squeeze, a silent agreement between the two of you.
“Oscar!” You call out, arms extended wide for a hug. You relish in the pink tinge that stains his cheeks when you release him.
“Hello, mate,” adds Lando, slapping him on the back. “How’ve you been?”
“Yeah, alright,” he says, “Just resting up, you know how it is.”
“Course, I do, Osc,” Lando replies, and you’re sure Oscar’s blush deepens at the use of that nickname. “So you’re not busy, then?”
“Nah, not particularly.”
“Great!” smiles Lando “So you’ll come back to ours for a drink?”
Oscar blinks. “What, like, now?”
Lando grins. “Like, now.”
“Ah, you know, I should probably be getting home—”
You cut him off, running a hand up his bicep, doe-eyes blinking hard. “Come on, Oscar, it’s just one drink and we’ve missed you so much this week.”
He swallows, hard, then says, “alright. Just one.”
“Just one,” echoes Lando.
*
When you’ve returned your wine glasses to the kitchen, after the one drink Oscar agreed to, you settle back down on the sofa next to Oscar, who’s wedged between you and Lando.
Your short skirt shows off most of your bare legs when you’re sat like this, and Oscar stares straight ahead, blinking at your wall as he avoids looking at all the skin you’ve got on display.
Lando catches your eye, and you nod, one final yes.
“Babe,” he says, faux concern laced through his voice. “You have something on your lip. Come here.”
You lean forward across Oscar, enough so that the neckline of your shirt drops, exposing far more cleavage than before.
Lando leans forward too, and before you can register what he’s doing, he licks the corner of your mouth.
You laugh, head tilting towards Oscar, which leaves your neck exposed. Lando takes that chance to scatter open-mouthed kisses down your neck, pausing to scrape his teeth along your pulse point.
You lock eyes with Oscar, a gasp of pleasure slipping from you, and he holds your gaze for a second, pupils blown wide. When he looks away, he’s blushing, hard.
You let the hand closest to him snake along his back, and he’s burning hot against your touch.
Oscar parts his lips, like he’s right on the cusp of saying something that’s on his mind. But he doesn’t. Instead, he shifts in his seat silently.
Lando stills against you, breath still warm against your neck as his lips curve up into a smile before he pulls away.
“Sorry, Oscar,” he says, sly grin only growing wider, “Are we bothering you?”
You can’t pull your eyes away from Oscar now, the way the flushed pink of his cheeks spreads right up to the tip of his ears, and right down below the collar of his shirt.
His eyes don’t meet yours or Lando’s when he replies, shakily, “No.”
You let your fingers trace down the curve of his spine, pausing as you find his shirt has ridden up ever so slightly, revealing a sliver of his back.
When your fingers, whisper soft, press against the warm skin, he inhales.
It’s tiny—so quiet—but it’s like music to your ears
“Lan?” You say, as casually as if you were about to ask him to add tomatoes to his shopping list.
“Hmm?” He replies, equally as casually.
“I think,” you continue, emphasising the I, “Oscar might like it,”
“Do you think so?” Lando asks, though the way he says it tells you it’s not really a question.
He turns his head, so he’s perfectly in line with Oscar’s throat.
“I think you’ve got a crush on my girlfriend, Osc.” He murmurs, breath soft against Oscar’s neck. You watch as his jaw clenches in response, eyes fixed ahead of him, desperately holding onto some shred of control.
Lando brings his hand up to Oscar’s face, cupping his cheek. He keeps his mouth so close to his neck that when he speaks again, voice sure and steady, his teeth graze the sensitive skin.
“Do you want to kiss my girlfriend?”
And that’s when you see Oscar lose the shred of control he’d been holding onto. His eyes snap down to meet Lando’s, and he nods silently, the movement so subtle you’re sure you would’ve missed it if you weren’t paying such close attention to him.
Lando doesn’t miss it though.
Using the hand cupping Oscar’s cheek, he tilts his head towards you, an invitation you’re more than willing to accept.
Your fingers ghost against his face, finding Lando’s hand and settling over it as your lips meet Oscar’s.
The first thing you notice is how soft Oscar’s lips are. His lips part in a whisper of a gasp as you take his bottom lip between your teeth, nipping just hard enough to sting.
Kissing Oscar feels just like kissing a girl usually does. He’s so pliant, so ready to let you take the lead, which you do, tongue pushing into his mouth, tasting the sweet wine from before.
You almost have to remind yourself not to reach for a handful of tit—though, judging by the way Oscar’s turning to mush at your touch, he’d probably quite like that.
You adjust your weight, knee brushing against Oscar’s leg, and he actually whimpers into your kiss, both of his hands now resting at your waist.
A smile curling at your lips, you pull away ever so slightly and take in the sight of him, cheeks already flushed pink, lips parted as he catches his breath. You lean in again, but don’t quite let him have another kiss yet.
“The thing is,” you whisper, lips brushing against his. “I think you might have a crush on my boyfriend, too.”
Oscar’s breath catches as you run your fingers through his hair, barely giving him a second to think before you’re gripping it, turning him to face Lando, who hasn’t stopped staring since you got your hands on his teammate.
“Do you want to kiss my boyfriend, Oscar?”
Lando doesn’t hesitate for even a second to take that invitation.
His mouth finds Oscar’s with a determination that flushes your cheeks pink, like he’s been picturing this moment just as much as you have. You bite your lip, not bothering to hide exactly how hot the image of the two of them kissing is to you.
Lando’s hand never leaves Oscar’s cheek, thumb pressing lightly into the hinge of his jaw as he deepens the kiss, and then, with a shift of his body and a firm tug, he’s pulling him closer, guiding him easily until he’s straddling his lap.
It’s so seamless, so natural, if you’d have blinked you might have missed the movement altogether.
You decide you love the way Oscar doesn’t resist at all. His body completely yields to Lando’s, knees resting against Lando’s thighs, hands still clumsily grasping your waist until one finally moves, uncertain, to Lando’s shoulder.
He lets Lando take complete control of the kiss, lets himself be tilted and pulled into exactly the position Lando wants him in; completely melts against him.
Then, a sound slips from Oscar’s throat. It’s small and broken, almost a whimper, and it makes Lando smile against his mouth, letting out a satisfied hum. You recognise that smile, because it’s one you’ve prompted on many occasions. It’s the smile that says, yeah, that’s right, I’m the one who makes you feel good.
And oh, how right he is.
Lando kisses Oscar like he owns him, like he’s known all along that this moment was waiting, and Oscar gives himself over to it so easily it almost makes you dizzy to watch, his body softening against Lando’s touch, knees tightening around his thighs as though he needs an anchor.
He’s probably never been kissed quite like this before. You certainly hadn’t, before Lando.
You’d once told him he ruined other men for you forever. Though you quickly took that back after your first threesome together, as it turned out he was quite capable of making other men very pleasant indeed.
Your gaze wanders down Oscar’s chest to his waist, where Lando’s hands hold him steady. The gasp that escapes you is completely involuntary, when you realise Lando can very nearly touch his fingers together around Oscar’s waist.
The size difference between the two boys is almost as erotic as the sight of them lapping up each other’s tongues. Oscar, so much bigger than Lando, yet looking so unreasonably tiny as he completely hands over control.
You decide you could stay and watch this forever, the two of them locked together, but then Lando finally breaks the kiss, dragging his mouth away just far enough to look at you over Oscar’s shoulder, eyes dark and shining with triumph. His lips curve, breathless but steady, and his voice is low when he says, “Look at us, having all the fun without my beautiful girl… Come here, Baby.”
Lando’s words are a command, not really a question, you know that, so you find yourself moving before your brain has fully processed his words, leaning into their burning space.
Lando’s hand is still firm against Oscar’s jaw, so it’s easy for him to guide the angle when you press closer, tilting Oscar’s face just enough to allow you access to him. The brush of your lips against his is different this time, wetter now from Lando’s kiss, his breath stuttering hot against your mouth as he struggles to process this fantasy of his coming to life.
This time, Lando doesn’t just watch as you kiss Oscar.
No, he drops his hand to your panties, completely exposed under your short skirt and presses hard against you, until the tiniest bit of friction sends a jolt of pleasure through you. At the same time, he grinds his hips up against Oscar, forcing soft whines out of both of you at once.
Lando continues his movements, revelling in the sight of you and Oscar moaning into each other’s mouths.
You’re just about to lose your patience with his barely-there touch, when Lando abruptly pulls Oscar off his lap, separating the two of you completely.
Oscar blinks at Lando dumbly, eyes glassy and hair a mess.
“On your knees,” says Lando.
Oscar follows his instruction obediently, dropping to his knees.
You’re not expecting Lando to drop down with him, so they both kneel at your feet, but you’re certainly not complaining when it happens.
You let Lando be in control here, like he always is, and so does Oscar.
Lando continues, “pull down her skirt.”
Oscar brings his hands up to the tiny thing, and does as he’s told, delicate hands working quickly to pull the tight fabric down your legs.
You lift your hips up to help him, and when they’re off his hands shoot right back up to pull down your little red thong—already soaked through from just kissing the two boys.
You can’t help but laugh at his eagerness, and your eyes lock with Lando’s as his lips quirk upwards.
“Look at you,” He purrs against Oscar’s ear. “So eager. Do you want to make her feel good?”
He nods, and you spread your legs for the two of them, revealing your soaked core.
Lando touches you first, fingers swiping achingly slowly from your entrance up to your clit. He brings the fingers to Oscar’s mouth, where he parts his lips obediently and sucks your wetness off Lando’s fingers.
“Doesn’t she taste perfect?” Lando asks.
Oscar just nods again.
“Go on,” he continues, “You can taste.”
It’s like Oscar is made to serve, like making you feel good is the only thing keeping him ticking, like he needs it more than oxygen.
The way he laps you up, two fingers fucking into you hard and perfectly deep.
You let your head drop back, eyes fluttering shut as he finds a steady pace, fingers curling up into you until he finds that spot that has your hips twitching up into him. He smiles against you at that, but doesn’t slow down, so eager to please.
Lando notices it too, the way he reacts to your pleasure, because a second later you hear his voice, low and calculated, murmuring words of encouragement for him.
“That’s it, Oscar. Good boy,” he says, and Oscar whines against you, the feeling of his stuttering breath almost enough to send you over the edge.
He pumps his fingers in and out again, but when his pace stutters for a moment, another whimper slipping from him, you notice it, and your eyes dart down to where he kneels.
There, you find Lando, palm pressed flat against Oscar’s cock as he continues to mutter words of encouragement for Oscar.
And that, the sight, the feeling of Oscar desperately moaning into you while he squirms under Lando’s touch is far too much for you to handle.
Your head drops back against the sofa once again, and you squeeze your eyes shut, focusing on the way Oscar’s tongue flicks against your clit, and your heartbeat pounding in your ears.
And then you’re right there, waves of pleasure crashing over you, your hips pushing up against Oscar’s mouth, as his little noises of pleasure blend together with yours.
You fall back, catching your breath. You don’t open your eyes right away—instead, you give all your energy to your other senses. To the feeling of the two men kneeling at your feet, their shoulders brushing your knees as they move against one another. To the sounds Oscar is making, so perfectly desperate, as Lando strokes his cock.
Dragging an eye open, your gaze finds Lando, peppering open-mouthed kisses along Oscar’s jaw, left hand gripping the back of his neck just hard enough to make him gasp, while his right hand continues to work up and down his length, which is no longer concealed by layers of soft fabric.
You keep your eyes glued to them as Lando’s mouth finds Oscar’s again, licking into his mouth, teeth catching against his flushed lower lip as they kiss hungrily, and messily.
Just as Oscar begins to rock his hips up against Lando’s firm hand, he pulls away—from both the kiss and Oscar’s cock, a grin spreading across his cheeks.
“Desperate for it, aren’t you, Osc?”
If this embarrasses Oscar, he certainly doesn’t show it, simply nodding, wide-eyed, at Lando.
“Been picturing it for a long time?” Lando continues, tracing a finger down Oscar’s pale, exposed neck.
Again, Oscar nods. But this time, he allows a soft shade of pink to tint his cheeks.
“Did you touch yourself, thinking about us?”
Oscar hesitates, then chokes out, “Yes—Fuck. After that night at the club.”
Lando’s eye’s snap up to meet yours, and he drops his hand back down to Oscar’s cock.
“We pictured you, too, Osc. Talked about you while we fucked that night.”
Oscar doesn’t reply, simply drops his head to Lando’s shoulder and whines, melted to a puddle under Lando’s touch.
He pulls away again, to Oscar’s visible disappointment, though this time he guides the Australian to his feet, positioning him next to you on the sofa.
“Come here, baby.” He says, attention back on you now. He gestures for you to join him, kneeling on the floor in front of Oscar.
“How about you show Oscar just how badly you wanted him?” He says once you’re on the floor next to him, gently tucking a stray hair behind your ear.
You nod, taking Oscar’s length in one hand. It rests for a moment at the base of his cock, barely moving. He takes a deep breath, and it’s perfectly shaky.
Lando’s hand snakes across yours, interlocking your fingers, before he drags both of you up and down Oscar’s length.
Oscar’s head drops backwards immediately, a groan spilling from his lips as his hands cling to the edge of the sofa.
“That’s it, beautiful,” says Lando, and you’re not completely sure if he’s talking to you or Oscar, until he pulls his hand away from yours, and whispers, “You want to make Oscar feel good, don’t you?”
You nod, continuing to work Oscar’s cock while Lando stands up, unbuttoning his trousers.
Oscar makes the most perfect sounds when you’re stroking his dick, and you focus in on that while Lando rises to his feet and undresses himself, testing what makes him squirm.
You trace a gentle finger along his tip, gathering the drop of precum that has pooled there. Oscar manages to breathe out a soft, “Please,” at that, which only makes you grin harder.
You still your hand, and look up at him through your lashes. “Is that what you want, Oscar?”
He nods, jaw tense.
“You’re going to have to use your words, baby.”
Oscar squeezes his eyes shut, fists clenched, and shakily manages, “right there, please.”
“Good boy,” you reply, letting your fingers caress the soft skin again. His hips buck up as you move, and you settle into a rhythm again.
Lando is fully naked now, and you realise this as he lines his length up with your face.
You look up at him, still grinning.
“Hey,” he says.
“Hey,”
“Want something to do with that pretty little mouth of yours?”
You nod, because for some reason, despite being able to produce a whole string of commands for Oscar, when it comes to Lando your brain melts back down into putty.
He hums as you stick your tongue out, swirling it against his tip before taking in his whole length.
You know the size of him so well, know exactly what you can handle, so you don’t have to think as you bob your head up and down. You find a steady beat, hand moving up and down Oscar’s length as you take Lando’s.
You continue for a little while, until the three of you are a mess of spit and groans, and you’re pretty sure you could cum at least once from the pure eroticism of making the two drivers feel this good.
Your brain is short-circuiting in that way it often does when Lando’s dick is in your mouth, and you desperately want to just shut your eyes and let him use you.
He must notice the way your eyes flutter closed, hand still steadily working Oscar’s throbbing cock, because he threads his hand through your hair and seconds later is snapping his hips forward into you, finding a steady rhythm.
There’s something so perfect about the way the two men react to your movements—Lando, pushing your head down as far as he knows you can take it, muttering just how good you are for him, while Oscar fists his hand into the sofa, a whining, twitching mess. You feel completely in control of Oscar, yet you couldn’t feel less in charge with Lando.
But that’s what’s so perfect about your relationship with Lando, and why it works so well when you invite someone new to the bedroom. The two of you know each other’s bodies so perfectly, that it gets to be a game of discovering what the new person likes together.
When your jaw is beginning to ache, Lando slows his movements to a stop before he pulls away from you. A string of saliva connects you still, and you try to chase it, not quite ready to be done yet, but Lando stops you with a firm hand, turning you back to Oscar.
“Good girl,” he says, when you speed your hand up again, pumping up and down until Oscar is shaking, jolting with each movement, and you pull your hand away completely, leaving him twitching up against nothing.
Then Lando’s hands are on you, lifting you up onto the sofa, where Oscar sits trying to catch his breath.
“Think he’ll sit there like a good boy while I take care of you for a bit, baby?” Says Lando, voice low and hoarse.
You nod, immediately, and when you look up at Oscar, he’s nodding too.
“That’s right,” Lando continues. “Sit on your hands for me, Osc. No touching yourself for a bit, okay?”
He nods, cheeks flushed a brighter shade of red than you’ve ever seen them. Lando manhandles you into the position he wants you in—ass up, face down, resting on Oscar’s lap.
When you get your hands on Oscar’s thigh, he lets out the tiniest whimper, already tortured by not being able to touch himself. You begin to say something, to praise him, tell him what a good little toy he’s being for you two, but then Lando begins to tease at your entrance, and then you’re the one whimpering pathetically.
You’re not quite sure how you continue to be surprised by the sheer size of Lando, after so many years together, but when he bottoms out in one slow, delicious thrust, it has you crying out, weak at the knees, barely able to steady yourself over Oscar.
Lando gives you a second—just a second—to adjust, before rocking back into you.
“Fuck,” you whisper, “So perfect, Lando.”
Lando grunts, hips rolling hard against you, hitting your G-spot once more, forcing another choked half-moan from your lips.
And poor Oscar doesn’t know where to look, eyes darting between you—mouth dropped open into a silent ‘O’, eyes fluttering, barely open, rocking forwards into Oscar’s lap each time Lando’s hips snap against yours—and Lando, all toned, tanned skin, one hand digging bruises into your waist as the other tangles through your hair, fucking you hard and deep at this ridiculous angle that hits exactly the right spot.
Oscar shifts, hands still firmly tucked underneath him, his cock throbbing against his pale chest.
Lando yanks your hair back, ripping a moan out of you. The way Oscar’s dick twitches at the noise has you right there on the verge of another climax.
You clench around Lando, head falling forward to rest on Oscar’s thigh, and you’re not sure which of the two men groans louder.
“That’s it, Baby,” grunts Lando, “So fuckin’ close. You gonna come for me?”
You just about manage to hum in agreement, which is enough for him to drop the hand laced through your hair down to your clit, his skilled, practiced fingers rubbing quick, tiny circles that have you rocking back onto him.
Each brush of pressure sends a jolt of pleasure right up your spine until you’re dizzy and the only thoughts on your mind are Oscar’s strong thigh underneath you, and Lando’s warm, solid body behind you.
It feels like Lando is fucking into you even deeper than before, and it’s almost too much for you to handle, the feeling is too good. A moan threatens to rip from you, but you cut it off, teeth sinking, biting, into Oscar’s leg. And once again, he whimpers, hips bucking up into thin air, cock painfully strained.
Then you’re tumbling over the edge, vision blurring as tiny explosions go off in your stomach, Lando’s own thrusts becoming far more erratic as he brings himself to his climax.
“Gonna come, fuck—course I am, seeing you all over Oscar like this.”
You don’t have the words to tell Lando exactly how fucking hot this is for you, too, watching him play with his teammate like a toy, feeling him so deep inside you that you can barely breathe, but you do manage to turn your head to look at him. To catch a glimpse of him as he loses control, eyes squeezed tightly shut and jaw clenched, hard.
Warmth spreads through you, and that feeling, that fullness you can never get enough of is suddenly the only thing on in your brain, which is foggy and without thoughts once again.
You keep your face pressed into Oscar, as you whine out a pathetic, “Lando,”
“I know,” he says, soft and gentle as he pulls out of you.
You roll onto your back, searching for his face. He pulls you up against him, then slowly, as you catch your breath, tilts your head to look at Oscar.
Oscar, who is squirming, hands shoved underneath him, beautiful brown eyes watery as he tries to maintain control.
And holy fuck, the sight of Oscar like that, so pathetic, clears the fog in your brain. Enough that you think you might quite like to have a little bit more fun with him.
You stare at Oscar, who’s blinking at you dumbly, presumably waiting to be told exactly what he can and can’t do. Lando must interpret it this way too, because he lets out a light chuckle, and pats your shoulder.
“Got him all stupid,” he says.
“Exactly how I want him,” you reply, standing up so you’re towering over him despite your still shaking legs.
“Oscar,” you say sweetly, placing one hand on each of his shoulders, steadying yourself more than anything.
“You gonna sit nicely a little longer, while I get myself off on this big, strong thigh of yours?”
He swallows, hard. And you’re fairly sure you even hear Lando suck in a breath.
Oscar starts to nod, but, like he knows you’re going to tell him to use his words, manages to choke out a strangled, “Yes. Please.”
You let the grin spread across your face again and lower yourself onto his thigh.
And oh, you weren’t exaggerating when you called him big and strong. The muscles of his thigh tense as you settle on it, and it’s close enough to rock solid underneath you.
Oscar groans at the contact, at the feeling of you, so wet against him, still dripping with Lando’s cum.
Lando settles himself on the sofa next to you, and begins to stroke his cock lazily, like he’s got all the time in the world.
You rock your hips forward, the tiniest bit of friction enough to spark a moan from your lips.
Oscar’s hands fumble at the hem of your shirt, a silent request to get you just as naked as them, and you nod, letting him pull it up over your head. You have to pause your movements for a second, when your shirt covers your face, but once Oscar has managed to get it off you’re right back to it, hips rolling forward into him.
You use his shoulders to steady yourself, and find your fingers tracing the solid muscle at the base of his neck.
Formula one drivers and their necks.
You bring your lips down to his neck, and run your tongue along it. Oscar hisses in a breath, and you let your teeth nip at his sensitive skin just a little.
Somewhere next to you, Lando laughs.
“Knew you’d be all over his neck, baby.”
In silent agreement, you scatter a few more bruises along Oscar’s jaw.
His hands find your hips, and move you back and forth, speeding up until you’re moaning, loud, in his ear. You’re still so sensitive from your last orgasm, and Oscar is so desperate to make you feel good, you’re sure you’ll be close to another within seconds at this rate.
You toss your head back, unashamedly bucking your hips into him, squeezing your eyes tighter and tighter until the only thing in your brain is your next climax rapidly approaching.
The pads of your fingers press into his shoulders—hard, but you can barely spare a thought for any pain he might be in, and he certainly doesn’t complain as you fuck yourself against his thigh.
You’re sure you see stars, this time, as you come, panting hard, nails digging harsh marks into Oscar’s back.
You stay like that for a moment, heart racing, head tipped back.
As you let your head straighten, eyes still squeezed tightly shut, a pair of hands grips at your waist. They’re too big to be Oscar’s, you think, and far too familiar as they run up and down your bare skin.
“Hey,” comes Lando’s voice—soft, and gentle in that way it always is when you’re coming down from a climax. “Do you want to fuck Oscar like this?”
At that, you manage to pry your eyes open, breath still shallow and uneven.
You take in the way Lando still looks so relaxed, despite his arousal, and the casual sing-song to his voice when he asks you these questions designed to drive you mad.
Then, you shift your eyes across to where Oscar sits patiently underneath you. And the way he looks almost knocks the breath right back out of you.
His cheeks are flushed, the pale pink a stark contrast against the pale of his freckled cheeks, and his eyes are glassy, barely focused on you as you take him in. His lips part ever so slightly, and you think, for a moment, that he might speak.
But he doesn’t. He just continues to stare dumbly at you.
Then, finally, you let your eyes drop down.
Oscar’s cock is painfully hard against his chest, precum leaking from its tip. You trace a gentle line up its base, and he shudders, pleading doe-eyes snapping up to meet yours.
You feel yourself soften at the edges a little. Lando always loves to play with his food a little bit before he eats it, but you can’t help but take pity on Oscar.
“Is that what you need, baby?” you ask, fingers still feather-light against his tip. “Need me to take control? Ride you properly?”
He buries his face in your shoulder, voice barely a whimper, and nods.
You glance up at Lando, and his grip on your waist tightens, before lifting you. You adjust yourself above Oscar, then sink down onto him, a sharp gasp falling from you as you do.
Oscar bites his lip, humming out a half moan as he fumbles to keep you from moving for a second while he regulates his breathing.
“It’s okay, baby,” you whisper, “we can go slow.”
Oscar nods, fingers digging hard into the soft flesh of your thigh when you grind against him. It’s a gentle, barely there movement, but it has him whining in your ear.
“Fuck,” he pants out, “feels good.”
Lando, sat so close next to him that their whole sides are pressed together, runs a hand down Oscar’s arm.
“Yeah?” he says, letting his thumb rub circles across Oscar’s bicep. “You love it?”
You roll your hips forward again, and Oscar whimpers. “Yes, Lando—” he inhales sharply. “Love it.”
Lando grins, settling himself back into the sofa and running a lazy hand over his cock, which is already getting hard again.
He’s far too comfortable like this – sprawled across his sofa, at his house, watching his girlfriend ride his teammate.
“Thought you would.” He replies, after a long pause. “Pictured how good you’d look under both of us. All needy and pathetic.”
This time it’s Oscar thrusting up into you, the soft moans from both of your mouths blending into one. He finds a steady rhythm—him, fucking up into you as you grind your hips against him, both drawing tiny little noises of pleasure from the other.
Oscar brings a hand up to your tits, eyes fixated on the way they bounce up and down as you ride him, the sight almost pornographic. He rolls a nipple between two fingers, harder than you’re expecting, and the moan it drags from you is a surprise to even you.
“Fuck,” says Lando—still thrusting up into his own hand—as Oscar brings his mouth to join his hand, tongue flat against your nipple, “We might have to keep him.”
“Fuck him in every position,” you reply immediately, voice breathy.
That has Oscar bringing his mouth back to yours, swallowing your moans as he presses his tongue into yours, hands completely unable to decide where to rest as they explore your naked body.
Lando chokes out another moan. When you look at him again, he says, “I want you to make him come.” It’s nearly enough to make you choke on thin air. “Wanna watch him fill you up, too,” he continues, voice hoarse, hand still pumping lazy strokes up and down his flushed cock.
Then he looks at Oscar. He doesn’t meet his eyes. Not until Lando’s hand grabs his jaw and tilts it towards himself.
“Does that turn you on, Osc?” He asks, and you clench around Oscar, forcing a deep groan out of him before he can reply.
“Yes, fuck, please. Gonna—” He interrupts himself with another sharp moan, hips snapping up into you harder, deeper, hitting that spot that makes you feel so good over and over.
Your nails dig into his shoulders again, and you bring your mouth right up to his ear, so your breath warms his cheek when you whisper, “Please, come for me baby.”
It doesn’t take long for his thrusts to become uneven, his whimpers becoming louder and far more pathetic, and then he’s lacing his fingers through yours before his final, deep thrust.
There’s something so deeply intimate, about the spreading warmth of Oscar coming inside you, where Lando has already filled you up.
Oscar pants, as his cock throbs, and all you can do in response is press your mouth up against his cheek again and tell him how perfect he was for you.
“Made me feel so good, Oscar. Filled me up so nicely.”
He practically purrs in response, eyes half lidded, brain so clearly dazed and foggy, leaving him completely pliant. You wait a moment, before getting up, letting Oscar ride his high a little longer.
You wince at the emptiness when you do get up, but Oscar’s mouth simply drops open, face blank and seemingly completely devoid of thoughts.
You raise an eyebrow to Lando, who seems perfectly content to sit and fuck his own hand, as he watches you do whatever you want with Oscar.
You look back at his open mouth, and his soft pleading eyes.
Your thumb slips into his mouth far too easily, and when it does, it’s like it ignites something in Oscar’s brain. He sucks your finger, humming as he does.
And it’s a bit like looking in a mirror. You know exactly what he needs, because it’s exactly what you need when you get like this.
“Want something in your mouth?” you ask, voice oh so gentle now.
He nods, and you guide him to his knees in front of Lando, where you join him. Oscar drops his mouth open, blinking up at Lando, who doesn’t hesitate to fuck into it, earning a whine of thanks from Oscar.
Lando laces his fingers through Oscar’s hair and uses his mouth like a fuck toy, the only sounds filling the air the wet, hot grunts of pleasure from both men, and the soft sound of gagging as Oscar desperately tries to fit more of Lando’s impressive length down his throat.
You’re not sure how long you’ve been watching them like this, wide-eyed and open-mouthed, when Lando pulls away from Oscar,
But suddenly he’s fucking into your mouth, and Oscar can’t even bring himself to whine about his mouth being empty, because then Lando’s switching back and forth between the two of you, edging himself closer and closer to a second climax.
You can barely think, once again, so desperate to please Lando when he’s like this, so turned on by the feeling of choking on his cock, but both you and Oscar still far too sensitive to touch yourselves, reduced to existing just to make Lando feel good.
You’re sure Lando’s followed this train of thought too, because he’s not going to last long, muttering jumbled words of praise to both of you as his thrusts become more frantic.
“Gonna play nice?” he asks, breathily. “Gonna share?”
He doesn’t need to ask, not really, because he knows you’d both say yes to just about anything right now, but you’re both whimpering out pleas of yes, Lando, anything anyway as he strokes his cock above your faces.
When he finally fucks himself over the edge, warm come spills across your face, your eager tongue, your chest, and Oscar’s too.
And it’s sticky, and disgusting, and so erotic when Oscar starts to lap at your face like he’ll die if he doesn’t get to taste Lando again, waiting patiently for you to reciprocate. When you do, you let your tongue explore all the way back down his chest, not sparing a drop.
You share another kiss, as Lando watches, and it’s salty and hot. You run your hands along his thighs, and he gropes hungrily at your ass, neither of you quite ready to take your hands off the other yet, all three of you very aware that this won’t be the last time you fuck. Not even close.
*
You’re not quite sure how all three of you manage to fit in the shower, but you do, and whilst you’re in there Lando insists it’s entirely unfair that Oscar’s only had one orgasm, before sinking to his knees and sucking him off until he’s gripping onto you, and the bathroom wall, desperately willing his legs not to give in, even when faced with the totally, stupidly, ridiculously hot sight of Lando swallowing his come.
After that, the three of you, mostly clean and dry, return to the sofa.
“Reckon we’ll let you stay the night,” says Lando, swinging his feet over to rest on Oscar’s lap.
Oscar just laughs, a light, breathy noise, and replies, “Yeah, think you’d be pretty shit hosts if you didn’t.”
SUMMARY: During Quinn and Y/N’s wedding reception, her maid of honor surprises everyone with a video made from years of forgotten clips, old rants, private vlogs, and quiet confessions Y/N never thought Quinn would see. What starts as a hilarious collection of embarrassing moments slowly becomes an emotional timeline of her falling in love with Quinn—until the final clip reveals something that leaves the entire room speechless.
WC: 10k
WARNINGS: Wedding fluff, emotional pregnancy reveal, happy tears, teasing, Hughes family softness, Jack and Luke being chaotic brothers, Quinn being overwhelmed in the sweetest way.
AN: This is a request of the form but thanks to the fact that I still can't access my email (because my phone company still can't give me my new sim) I didn't put the photo of the request
The reception had already reached that point in the night where everything felt softer than real life.
The lights were warm and golden, strung across the ceiling in delicate rows that made the entire room glow. Candles flickered in glass holders on every table. White flowers spilled beautifully from the centerpieces, petals scattered between champagne flutes, folded napkins, and half-empty plates of cake. Somewhere near the dance floor, a group of cousins had abandoned all rhythm in favor of enthusiasm, and Jack Hughes had appointed himself the unofficial leader of a dance circle that no one had asked for.
Y/N watched from the sweetheart table with her cheek aching from smiling, her husband sat beside her.
Her husband, even thinking the word made something flutter behind her ribs.
Quinn Hughes, who had been her boyfriend for years, her best friend for even longer than that, her quiet place in every storm, was now sitting beside her in a black tux with a wedding band on his finger and his hand resting warm and steady over hers beneath the table.
He had been touching her all night, not in a dramatic way. Not in a way anyone else would necessarily notice unless they knew Quinn well enough to understand how he loved.
His thumb over her knuckles, his fingers brushing her lower back when they walked between tables, his palm settling at her waist whenever someone pulled them into a picture. His knee pressed against hers under the table. Every few minutes, he looked at her like he was checking that she was still there. Like he still could not fully believe the ceremony had happened. Like he had watched her walk down the aisle and had somehow never recovered from it.
Y/N wasn’t sure she had recovered either, she kept replaying the moment in her head. The doors opening, everyone standing, the music swelling. Ellen already crying in the front row, Jack turning around too early because he had no patience, only for Luke to yank his sleeve and whisper something that made him straighten up.
And Quinn.
Quinn waiting at the end of the aisle. Quinn, who looked like every bit of air had been stolen from his lungs, he hadn’t smiled right away. That was the thing she remembered most. He had looked stunned first. Completely frozen. His eyes had gone glossy almost instantly, and his mouth had parted a little like he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words.
Then she had taken one step, then another, and his face had changed. The smallest smile, the softest breath, the kind of expression that said, there you are. Y/N had almost started crying before she even reached him, now, hours later, her veil was gone, her shoes had been kicked off under the table, and Quinn still looked at her like she had just walked toward him. “You okay?” she asked quietly, leaning close so only he could hear.
Quinn turned his head, his eyes softened “Yeah,” he said. “Why?”
“You keep staring.”
“I’m allowed.” she smiled, cheeks warming. “Because we’re married?”
“Because you’re beautiful.” Her heart twisted. “Quinn.”
“What?”
“You can’t say stuff like that when I’m already emotional.” His mouth lifted at one corner. “You’ve cried four times today.” “Five,” she corrected. “I cried when your dad hugged me.” Quinn’s smile grew. “That was a good one.”
“It was not a good one. It ruined my makeup.”
“You still looked beautiful.” She rolled her eyes even though her chest felt too full, before she could respond, a loud laugh from Jack’s table pulled their attention across the room. Jack was standing with a champagne flute in hand, telling a story with entirely too many gestures. Luke sat beside him looking exhausted but entertained. Trevor Zegras was leaning so far back in his chair laughing that one of Quinn’s cousins had a hand ready behind him in case he tipped over.
Y/N shook her head “How did your family survive you three growing up?” Quinn followed her gaze “My mom is very strong.”
“That’s an understatement.” At the head family table, Ellen was speaking softly with Jim, her eyes still puffy from crying during the parent dances. Jim had tried to hold it together during his dance with Quinn, and for most of it, he succeeded. But near the end, Quinn had said something Y/N couldn’t hear, and Jim had pulled him into the kind of hug that made everyone in the room pretend not to stare.
Y/N had cried then too, obviously, the entire day had felt like walking through one memory after another. Every person who approached them had a story, a blessing, a joke, a piece of the life Quinn and Y/N had built together without realizing how big it had become. A college friend reminding Y/N about the first time she said Quinn’s name with a smile she tried to hide. A Canucks teammate telling Quinn that he had known Y/N was different when Quinn started checking his phone with actual urgency. A family friend saying she had never seen Quinn look more peaceful than when Y/N entered a room.
It was overwhelming, beautiful, a little embarrassing, but mostly beautiful, the DJ had just started transitioning into another upbeat song when the microphone near the dance floor crackled.
Y/N looked up, her maid of honor stood near the projector screen, holding the mic with both hands and wearing a smile that immediately made Y/N’s stomach drop “No,” Y/N whispered, Quinn glanced at her. “What?”
“I know that face.”
“What face?”
“That face.”
Her maid of honor tapped the microphone “Hi, everyone!” the guests cheered lazily, some raising glasses. Jack shouted, “Is this another speech?” Her maid of honor laughed. “No, Jack.”
“Thank God.” Ellen immediately turned in her chair. “Jack.” He lowered his glass. “Respectfully. I meant respectfully.” Luke muttered, “You did not.”
The room laughed, Y/N sat up straighter, beside her Quinn looked curious, hher maid of honor smiled directly at the bride and groom “Don’t worry, i promise I’m not going to talk for long. But I do have one more little surprise for Quinn and Y/N.”
Y/N’s eyes widened, Quinn’s hand tightened over hers “What kind of surprise?” he murmured “I don’t know,” Y/N whispered. “That’s why I’m scared.” Her maid of honor continued, “When Y/N and Quinn started dating, I started noticing something.”
“Oh no,” Y/N said immediately, Jack leaned forward from his table, suddenly alert. “This sounds good.” “It is good,” Luke said, already pulling out his phone, Y/N pointed at him across the room. “Do not record this.” Luke lowered his phone halfway, Jack leaned over and pushed it back up. “Record it.” The maid of honor grinned. “Y/N has always been the kind of person who records everything. Random updates. Funny complaints. Little vlogs. Emotional spirals. Dramatic rants that she sends at midnight and then pretends never happened.”
The room erupted into knowing laughter, Y/N covered her mouth with both hands “No.” Quinn looked at her, amused now. “What did you send her?” “I don’t remember,” she said, horrified. “That is the problem.”
“And over the years,” her maid of honor said, “I saved some of them, Y/N turned bright red, Jack slapped the table. “This is the best wedding I’ve ever been to.” “You cried during the vows,” Luke said.
“I can have multiple favorite parts.”
The projector screen lowered, the lights dimmed, Quinn leaned closer to Y/N, his shoulder brushing hers “You okay?” “No,” she whispered. “I am about to become a victim.” He smiled, pressing his lips briefly to her temple “I’ll protect you.”
“From my own camera roll?”
“I’ll try.” The screen flickered, A title appeared over a shaky phone video of Y/N’s old apartment "QUINN & Y/N: A LOVE STORY, ACCORDING TO Y/N’S CAMERA ROLL"
The entire room cheered, Y/N made a helpless noise and hid against Quinn’s shoulder, Quinn laughed softly, wrapping an arm around her, then the first clip started Y/N’s face filled the screen, younger, flushed, and clearly fresh from getting home. She was lying on her bed, holding the phone above her face at the most unflattering angle possible“So,” video Y/N began dramatically, “I just got back from dinner with Quinn Hughes.”
The room reacted instantly, Jack yelled, “Oh, this is historic.” On screen, video Y/N narrowed her eyes “And I need to say something. Quinn Hughes is so annoying.” the room burst into laughter, current Y/N groaned into Quinn’s suit jacket. Quinn’s eyebrows lifted. “Wow.”
“I didn’t mean it.”
“You said it with conviction.” Video Y/N continued, “He does this thing where he says, ‘I don’t care, you pick,’ but then when I pick, he gets this little look on his face.” she paused and made an exaggerated Quinn expression: blank, slightly squinting, mildly concerned, the Hughes table lost it, Luke pointed at the screen. “That’s exactly his face.” Jack laughed so hard he leaned into Trevor. “That is literally him at every restaurant.”
Quinn shook his head. “I don’t look like that.” Jim, from across the room, said gently, “You do, bud.” the laughter got louder, video Y/N sat up on her bed, still ranting “We walked around for almost forty minutes because apparently every restaurant was both fine and not fine. And then when we finally picked somewhere, he ordered the safest thing on the menu and said, ‘This is pretty good,’ like we didn’t almost starve getting there.”
Y/N peeked up at Quinn, he was laughing now, ears pink “That happened one time,” he said, she raised an eyebrow. “It happened last week.”
“Not for forty minutes.”
“Thirty-five.”
“Still different.” On screen, video Y/N sighed dramatically “He is so annoying.” she paused, her expression softened without warning “But, like…” She groaned, kicking her feet against the bed. “Why is he also the cutest person I’ve ever met?” The entire room let out a loud, teasing awwww, Quinn slowly turned to look at his wife “The cutest person you’d ever met?” Y/N covered her eyes. “I was young and vulnerable.”
“You were twenty”
“Exactly. A child.”
Jack yelled, “She had taste!” Luke added, “Questionable, but taste, Quinn ignored them, smiling in a way that made Y/N’s embarrassment soften around the edges, the next clip appeared, Y/N was sitting in a car, the camera angled low. Quinn was driving, one hand on the steering wheel, the other resting near the gearshift. He looked focused, serious, completely unaware of whatever commentary was about to happen. Video Y/N whispered, “I am documenting this for future evidence.” on screen, Quinn glanced sideways. “Are you recording?”
“No.”
“You are.”
“I’m collecting legal proof.”
“Of what?”
“That Quinn Hughes is the worst passenger princess alive.” the room exploded. Quinn’s mouth fell open “I was driving!” current Y/N laughed into her hand. “I had a point.”
“You did not.” video Y/N turned the camera more toward Quinn “He’s driving, technically, but spiritually? Passenger princess. He has complained about the temperature, the snacks, the playlist, the fact that I put my feet on the dash even though I did not put my feet on the dash—”
“You were close,” video Quinn interrupted.
“My feet were on the floor.”
“They were angled suspiciously.”
Current Jack doubled over, Luke was wiping tears from the corners of his eyes, trevor screamed from another table, “Spiritual passenger princess is insane!” Quinn pointed at him without looking away from the screen. “Don’t start.”
Video Y/N continued, whispering loudly, “He also thinks I don’t know that he skipped three songs from my playlist.” on screen, video Quinn’s eyes widened slightly “You did know?”
“Of course I knew.”
“I didn’t skip them. I curated.”
The room laughed again, current Y/N looked at Quinn. “You still do that.”
“Some songs need curating.”
“My playlist does not need your interference.”
“Debatable.”
Another clip cut in before she could argue, this time, the phone camera panned slowly across Quinn’s apartment, the coffee table, the kitchen counter, the couch, the floor beside the couch, the nightstand, everywhere the camera went, there was a water bottle. Some full, some half-empty, some suspiciously abandoned. Video Y/N spoke in a low, documentary-style voice “Here we observe the natural habitat of the wild Quinn Hughes.”
Quinn dropped his face into his hand, Y/N started laughing despite her embarrassment.
Video Y/N zoomed dramatically on a bottle beside the TV “The wild Quinn is a fascinating creature. He can remember every detail of a hockey system, every flight time, every team schedule, every tiny adjustment made during a game…” the camera moved to another bottle on the windowsill “But he cannot remember where he placed his water.”
Ellen was laughing through tears, Jim shook his head. “That tracks.”
Video Y/N whispered, “This one has been here for three days.” on screen, younger Quinn walked into frame wearing sweats and a hoodie, He stopped when he saw the camera “Are you filming the bottles again?”
Jack nearly screamed “Again? There were multiple episodes?” current Y/N grimaced. “It was a recurring series.” Quinn turned slowly toward her. “A series?”
“You gave me material.”
Video Quinn sighed, then started collecting the bottles, video Y/N whispered, “Progress.” the clip switched to another night, the room on screen was dark except for a lamp. Video Y/N lay in bed, wrapped in a tiny corner of blanket, looking betrayed “It is currently two thirteen in the morning,” she whispered. “And Quinn has stolen all the blankets again.”
The camera flipped, Quinn was dead asleep beside her, completely wrapped in the comforter like a burrito, only his face and one hand visible “He says he doesn’t do this on purpose,” video Y/N whispered. “That is a lie. He rolls over very calmly, very politely, and then takes everything with him like a soft little thief.”
The room roared, Luke slapped the table. “A soft little thief!” Jack was wheezing. “That is poetry.” Quinn’s face was bright red now “I was asleep. I cannot be blamed.” Y/N turned to him. “You absolutely can.”
“I didn’t know.”
“You woke up once because I tried to take it back and you said, ‘No, I need this.’”
“I have no memory of that.”
“That does not surprise me.”
Another clip appeared, Y/N sat at a kitchen island, staring into the camera with the seriousness of a news anchor “It has been four hours since I texted Quinn asking what he wanted for dinner.” the screen showed a screenshot, with Quinn’s unanswered text at the top and several dramatic follow-ups from Y/N.
Y/N: dinner?
Y/N: hello?
Y/N: quinn????
Y/N: I know you’re alive jack just posted you
Y/N: this is why I have trust issues
The reception howled, video Y/N continued, “Jack has responded to me. Luke has responded to me. Quinn has not.” the clip cut to video Jack’s reply on screen.
Jack: order what u want. make his spicy so he learns.
Current Jack stood halfway out of his chair and pointed proudly at the screen “I was helping!” Ellen gave him a look. “You were enabling chaos.”
“I support women.”
Luke nodded solemnly. “He does when it inconveniences Quinn.”
The clip cut again to Quinn walking into the kitchen later, video Quinn looked into the takeout bag “Did you get the spicy noodles?” video Y/N calmly said, “Yes.”
“You know those are too spicy for me.”
“You should’ve answered your phone.” The room exploded again, Quinn turned to Y/N, betrayed. “That was premeditated.”
“You ignored a dinner text.”
“I was busy.”
“You were liking Luke’s Instagram post.” Luke lifted his glass. “He was.”
Quinn sighed, the next few clips came one after another, each funnier than the last, Quinn standing in a grocery aisle holding two jars of pasta sauce, reading both labels like he was studying for an exam, Y/N whispered, “We have been here for eleven minutes. It is sauce.”
Video Quinn frowned. “This one has basil.”
“They both have basil.”
“This one has more basil.”
Current Jack shouted, “More basil!” Luke repeated it under his breath, laughing harder every time, then Quinn trying to build a bookshelf and insisting the instructions were “not clear,” while video Y/N zoomed in on the manual where step three had very clearly been skipped, then Quinn in a hotel room looking for his hoodie while it sat on the chair directly behind him, video Y/N whispered, “He can read plays at NHL speed but cannot locate cotton from six feet away.” Then Quinn sitting on the couch watching reality TV with intense focus after claiming, repeatedly, that he “didn’t care about this show.” video Y/N whispered, “He just asked who betrayed who in episode four. He cares.”
Trevor stood up. “I knew he cared!” Quinn pointed at him again. “Sit down.”
Then there was a clip of Quinn wearing one of Y/N’s green face masks, expression blank, arms crossed, video Y/N asked, “How does your skin feel?” video Quinn muttered, “Fine.”
“Glowy?”
“No.”
“You look glowy.”
“I look ridiculous.”
“You look moisturized.” Current Y/N was laughing so hard she had to lean into Quinn’s side, Quinn, despite himself, was laughing too.
It was mortifying. It was ridiculous. It was so painfully them that it made her chest hurt, everyone was seeing the little details now, the relationship behind the public photos, the things no article, no Instagram post, no wedding speech could ever fully explain.
The water bottles, the stolen blankets, the terrible texting, the basil, the quiet humor, the comfort, their life.
Then the screen faded to black, the laughter slowly died down, Y/N exhaled, thinking maybe it was finished.
It wasn’t.
A new clip appeared, and instantly, the mood shifted, it was Y/N again, years younger, walking outside at night. The camera shook a little in her hand. Her cheeks were pink from the cold, and city lights glowed behind her. She looked shy, almost embarrassed, like she had recorded this in a moment of bravery she might regret later, video Y/N looked into the camera “I don’t know why I’m recording this,” she said softly. “Maybe because I want proof that I knew.”
Current Y/N went still, Quinn’s hand tightened around hers.
On screen, video Y/N took a breath “I had dinner with Quinn tonight. Again. Nothing happened. I mean, not nothing. We talked for three hours, and he walked me home, and he gave me his jacket even though he pretended he wasn’t cold.”
A tiny smile pulled at Quinn’s mouth, Y/N swallowed hard, she had completely forgotten that video.
Video Y/N looked down, smiling at herself “And I know this sounds insane because it’s early. Like, very early. And I’m probably being dramatic. But…” She paused, then whispered, “I think I just met the person I’m going to marry.”
The room went completely silent, Y/N felt her eyes sting immediately, Quinn didn’t move, he stared at the screen like someone had reached into the past and handed him something fragile, Jack’s teasing smile faded, Luke lowered his phone slowly, Ellen pressed her hand over her mouth,Jim looked down at the table, blinking fast.
On screen, video Y/N laughed nervously “So if this goes terribly, no one can ever see this. Delete it. Burn my phone. I am serious.”
A soft, emotional laugh passed through the room, Quinn finally turned his head toward Y/N “You said that?” he whispered, she nodded, her throat tight. “I guess I did.”
“That early?”
“I think part of me knew before I was ready to admit it.” His eyes searched her face, then the clip changed.
The next video was from the lake house. The sunset painted the water orange and pink. Y/N sat on the dock in an oversized sweatshirt, hair messy from the wind. In the background, Quinn was on the boat with Jack and Luke, pretending to be annoyed while clearly keeping track of everyone, video Y/N turned the camera toward him “Quinn is acting like he’s irritated right now,” she said quietly. “But he already checked if Jack had sunscreen on twice, told Luke not to jump too close to the dock, and noticed I forgot my drink before I noticed.”
The camera caught Quinn stepping off the boat, picking up a water bottle, and wordlessly bringing it toward her, Y/N whispered, “See?”
Current Ellen made a small, tearful sound.
Video Y/N turned the camera back on herself “He notices everything. He acts like he doesn’t, because he’s Quinn, but he does.” she looked over her shoulder at him again “I used to think love was supposed to feel loud. Like fireworks or movie scenes or some big dramatic moment. But with Quinn, it’s quieter than that.”
Current Y/N’s breath caught.
On screen, video Y/N smiled faintly “It’s him walking on the outside of the sidewalk. It’s him putting my phone on the charger when I fall asleep. It’s him standing next to me at parties when I’m nervous, not saying anything, just being there until I feel okay.”
Quinn’s jaw tightened, his thumb moved slowly over the back of her hand.
Video Y/N’s voice softened “I don’t think he knows how easy he makes it to love him.”
Ellen started crying then, fully crying, Jack looked toward his mom, and his own face crumpled for half a second before he recovered by pretending to adjust his tie, Luke caught him “You’re crying.” Jack sniffed. “I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I’m sweating from my eyes.”
“That is crying.”
The next clip came from a team event. Y/N stood in a bathroom mirror, dressed up, looking overwhelmed and giddy “Okay,” video Y/N whispered. “I am hiding in the bathroom because Quinn just introduced me to, like, twelve people as his girlfriend, and he said it so casually. Like he didn’t just rearrange my entire nervous system.”
A few soft laughs moved through the reception, current Quinn leaned slightly closer to her “I remember that night,” he said quietly, Y/N looked at him. “You do?”
“You were nervous.”
Of course he remembered.
On screen, video Y/N pressed a hand to her chest “He looked so proud. Not loud proud. Quinn proud. Which is worse, actually, because it makes me want to cry.”
Current Jack whispered loudly, “Quinn proud is a real thing.” Luke nodded. “Very subtle. Very deadly.”
Video Y/N looked at herself in the mirror “I love him,” she whispered. “I haven’t said it yet. But I do. I love him so much it makes me feel stupid.”
Quinn went very still, Y/N looked down at their hands because she couldn’t handle looking at his face just yet.
The video moved to another year, Y/N sat on the floor of Quinn’s apartment beside a half-packed suitcase. Quinn was asleep on the couch behind her, one arm tucked under his head, his hair messy, Y/N spoke quietly “Quinn is asleep, so I’m documenting this before I lose my nerve.”
Quinn inhaled slowly, He remembered that night, their first truly hard conversation, the one about distance. About schedules. About whether love was enough when life kept pulling them in different directions. About how tired she was. About how scared he was to ask her to stay close when his world was so demanding.
Video Y/N looked down at her hands “We had one of those conversations tonight. The kind where nobody is really wrong, but everything feels scary because you love each other enough that the future matters.”
Jim reached for Ellen’s hand.
Video Y/N glanced at sleeping Quinn “And I realized something. I don’t need everything to be easy with him. I just need us to keep choosing each other when it isn’t.”
Her eyes filled on screen “I think that’s what forever is supposed to be.”
Current Y/N wiped under her eyes quickly, Quinn noticed immediately, he lifted their joined hands and kissed the back of hers.
The next clips were shorter, stitched together with soft music underneath, Y/N filming Quinn at an airport, half-asleep with coffee in his hand “He says he’s not tired. He is lying.”
Y/N filming him from behind at a family barbecue, where he was helping Ellen carry plates into the kitchen without being asked “This is one of the reasons I love him.” Y/N filming Quinn kneeling to tie the laces of one of Jack’s younger cousins because the kid had tripped twice already “He is going to be such a good dad someday. Don’t tell him I said that. He’ll panic.”
The room reacted softly at that one, Ellen’s hand flew to her chest, Jim looked at Quinn, his expression gentle, Jack’s brows lifted slightly, but he didn’t tease, Luke looked down with a tiny smile.
Quinn turned his head toward Y/N slowly, she was staring at the screen, cheeks flushed, tears gathering again, she had forgotten saying that too, or maybe she had buried it somewhere deep because it had felt too big at the time.
On screen, the video moved on, Y/N, sitting in a hotel room after a playoff loss, wearing one of Quinn’s hoodies “He lost tonight,” video Y/N said softly. “And I hate that there’s nothing I can do to fix it for him.” the camera moved to her hand, where she was twisting the hoodie sleeve around her fingers, “But maybe love isn’t always fixing things. Maybe sometimes it’s sitting beside someone while they’re sad and making sure they know they don’t have to be sad alone.”
Quinn’s eyes shone, Y/N leaned into his shoulder.
Then came a Christmas clip at the Hughes house, wrapping paper everywhere, Jack stealing someone’s cinnamon roll, Luke arguing that he had not, in fact, lost a board game, because the rules had been “unclear.” Ellen laughing in the kitchen, Jim holding two mugs of coffee and shaking his head at all of them.
The camera focused on Quinn sitting on the floor, looking across the room at Y/N with a tiny smile, Y/N whispered, “Sometimes I look at him with his family and I just know. I want this. I want the loud, messy, teasing, everyone-talking-over-each-other version. I want him. I want his people. I want all of it.”
Ellen broke completely, Jack wrapped an arm around her shoulders from his seat, pressing a kiss to the side of her head, Luke wiped at his face and looked annoyed about it.
Trevor, shockingly, stayed quiet.
The video continued, a rainy street, Quinn holding the umbrella almost entirely over Y/N while his own shoulder got soaked, video Y/N said, “He thinks I don’t notice when he does stuff like this. I notice everything.”
A grocery store, Quinn carrying all the bags even though Y/N was holding out her hands, video Y/N said, “He says he doesn’t need help. He is very stubborn. Unfortunately, I love him.”
A quiet morning, Quinn asleep with his face half-buried in a pillow while Y/N whispered, “He stole the blankets again, but he also brought me coffee in bed yesterday, so I’ll let him live.”
The room laughed through tears.
Then the screen shifted again, Y/N appeared in a car, older now. Calmer. Softer. Her smile was different, the kind that came from years of being loved steadily “I think Quinn is going to propose soon,” video Y/N said.
The room gasped and laughed, Quinn turned sharply toward his wife.“You knew?” Y/N gave him a guilty look. “I suspected.” Jack threw his hands up. “Are you kidding me? We were so careful.” Luke stared at her. “I asked about flowers in a normal way.” Y/N gave him a look. “Lukey, you walked into the kitchen, said, ‘Hypothetically, do you hate roses?’ and then left.”
Luke’s face went pink, Jack pointed at him. “I told you that was suspicious.”
“You kept staring at her hand!”
“Because I was nervous!”
Video Y/N laughed on screen “No, I did not find the ring. I did not snoop. I am very respectful and mature.”
Current Jack muttered, “That means she thought about snooping.”
Video Y/N continued, “But Quinn has been acting weird. Sweet weird. Nervous weird. He keeps checking his phone and hiding it like he’s in a spy movie, Jack looks guilty every time he sees me, and Luke asked me what flowers I liked and then looked like he had committed a crime.”
The room laughed again.
Quinn shook his head, but he was smiling.
Video Y/N’s expression softened “But honestly? I don’t care when he asks. Or where. Or how perfect it is.” She looked straight into the camera “If he ever asks me to marry him, my answer will always be yes.”
Quinn’s smile faded into something overwhelmed, he remembered the proposal vividly, his shaking hands, the ring box in his pocket, Jack whispering, “Stop looking like you’re about to get arrested.” Luke checking the setup twelve times, Ellen crying before Y/N had even arrived, Jim squeezing his shoulder and saying, “Just talk to her. That’s all you have to do.”
And then Y/N turning around, Y/N seeing him, Y/N saying yes before he had even finished asking, he hadn’t known she had already decided, he hadn’t known the yes had been waiting for him long before the question.
The video faded, for a second, the room was quiet.
Then another clip started, Y/N sat on the floor of their bedroom in one of Quinn’s Canucks sweatshirts. The room was dim, lit only by a lamp. Her hair was pulled back, her face bare, her expression nervous and tender.
Current Y/N’s heart dropped, she remembered this one “Oh,” she whispered, Quinn looked at her “What?”
She shook her head, already tearing up again, on screen, video Y/N gave a small embarrassed laugh “Okay,” she said. “This is embarrassing, and I don’t know why I’m doing it.”
A ripple of soft laughter moved through the room, video Y/N twisted the sleeve of Quinn’s sweatshirt between her fingers “But I was thinking today that someday, if everything goes the way I hope it does, there might be a wedding. And maybe people will give speeches, and maybe everyone will talk about when they knew.”
She smiled, eyes already glossy “And I think I know now.” the room went still, video Y/N took a breath “I know because I don’t feel like I’m waiting for my life to start anymore. I know because even on boring days, even on hard days, even when he forgets to text me back or steals the blankets or leaves water bottles everywhere…”
A few tearful laughs broke through, video Y/N smiled wider “…there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
Quinn was staring at the screen, his eyes red now.
Video Y/N looked directly into the camera “If you’re somehow watching this at our wedding…” She laughed softly. “I guess he asked.”
Y/N’s first tear slipped down her cheek, Quinn reached up immediately and wiped it away with his thumb.
On screen, video Y/N’s voice quieted “I don’t really care what our wedding looks like. I don’t care about the flowers, or the cake, or whether everything goes perfectly.”
She paused, her eyes softened in a way that made current Quinn’s breath catch “As long as he’s the one waiting for me at the end of the aisle.”
The room dissolved, Ellen was crying openly now. Jim had turned his face slightly away, blinking hard, one hand still holding Ellen’s. Jack wiped under his eyes quickly and then pretended he hadn’t. Luke stared at the table, jaw tight, his napkin pressed against one eye.
Trevor, for once, did not say anything.
On screen, video Y/N smiled one last time “So, future Quinn,” she said softly, “if you’re seeing this…hi. I love you. I loved you before you knew. I’ll love you after this day is over. And I’m really, really glad it was you.”
The screen went black, everyone thought that was the end, the applause started slowly, emotional, warm.
A few people stood, Y/N covered her face with both hands, crying and laughing at the same time “I can’t believe she did that,” she whispered.
Quinn didn’t speak, he looked completely undone, his eyes were glossy, his face pale with emotion, his hand still holding hers like he needed the contact to stay upright. Then, before the applause could fully rise, the screen flickered again.
The room quieted, text appeared on the screen.
One more clip.
Y/N froze, her heart stopped, her maid of honor, standing near the projector, looked at her with tears in her eyes.
Y/N’s lips parted, she knew, she knew exactly what this was.
The final clip appeared, it was recent, so recent that Y/N felt the air leave her lungs, she was sitting on the bathroom floor, not the elegant, glowing bride everyone had seen walking down the aisle today.
Just Y/N.
Bare-faced. Hair messy. Wearing one of Quinn’s old hoodies. Knees pulled to her chest. One hand covering her mouth while the other held her phone with a visible tremble, her eyes were red, she had clearly been crying before she even started recording.
The room went completely silent, Quinn’s body went still beside her.
On screen, Y/N let out a shaky laugh that immediately turned into a sob “Okay,” she whispered, voice breaking. “I don’t know why I’m recording this. I think because I can’t tell him yet and I need to say it somewhere or I’m going to explode.”
Current Y/N’s hand flew to her mouth, Quinn slowly turned toward her but she couldn’t look away from the scree, video Y/N looked down, her trembling hand lifted something into view, a pregnancy test, positive.
The entire room gasped, Ellen made a soft, broken sound, Jack’s mouth fell open, Luke sat frozen, Jim’s eyes widened before immediately filling.
Quinn did not move, he stared at the screen as if his whole world had stopped turning.
Video Y/N started crying harder “I’m pregnant,” she whispered, the words seemed to echo through the reception hall.
Y/N’s tears spilled over, beside her, Quinn’s grip on her hand tightened, but not painfully. Desperately. Like he was afraid this was a dream.
On screen, video Y/N pressed the pregnancy test against her chest and laughed through a sob “I’m pregnant. And I’m scared because I don’t know how to tell him without crying, and I’m happy, and I’m terrified, and I love him so much that I don’t even know what to do with all of it.”
Quinn’s eyes snapped to Y/N, she finally looked at him, his lips were parted, his eyes were full “Y/N,” he breathed, she tried to speak, but nothing came out. On screen, video Y/N wiped her face with the sleeve of Quinn’s hoodie “I always knew I loved him,” she said, voice shaking. “But this feels different. Because now there’s this tiny, impossible little part of both of us, and I keep thinking about him.” her smile trembled "I keep thinking about Quinn holding a baby. Our baby.”
Ellen was crying into Jim’s shoulder now, Jim had one hand over his mouth, his own eyes wet, Jack had both hands on top of his head, completely speechless, Luke looked like someone had hit him directly in the chest with emotion.
Video Y/N looked down at the test again “And I know he’s going to panic at first,” she said, laughing softly through tears. “Not because he won’t be happy. He will be. I know he will be. But because he’s Quinn, and he’ll immediately start thinking about cribs and doctors and whether the apartment is safe enough and whether I’ve eaten enough today.”
A watery laugh moved through the room because everyone knew she was right, Quinn let out a broken laugh, one tear slipping down his cheek.
Video Y/N’s voice softened “But he’s going to be the best dad. I know that too. I’ve known that for years.” Her eyes lifted to the camera, full of tears “Because he loves so quietly, but he loves so completely. He notices everything. He takes care of people before they ask. He remembers little things. He makes people feel safe.”
Y/N was crying too hard to hide it now, Quinn reached for her face, his fingers trembling.
On screen, video Y/N let out another shaky breath “And this baby is so lucky. So lucky. Because they’re going to have him.” She paused, crying harder “And I’m lucky because I get to have him too.”
The silence in the room was overwhelming, not empty silence, full silence, the kind that held every heartbeat in the room. Video Y/N looked at the pregnancy test again, then back at the camera “I was going to tell him privately. I still am, probably. Maybe I’ll put the test in a little box or buy a tiny jersey or do something cute and not completely unhinged like recording myself sobbing on the bathroom floor.”
A few soft laughs broke through the tears, Quinn covered his mouth with one hand, Y/N let out a sob and grabbed his other hand with both of hers.
On screen, video Y/N’s smile turned impossibly tender “I love you,” she whispered. “I love you as my boyfriend. I love you as my fiancé. I already know I’m going to love you as my husband.” her hand dropped gently to her stomach “And I think I’m going to love you most as the father of our baby.”
That was when Quinn broke, a sound left him, small, breathless, half laugh, half sob, Y/N turned toward him fully, crying “Quinn,” she whispered.
But the video wasn’t finished.
On screen, video Y/N wiped her cheeks one more time “So, future Quinn, if you’re watching this, please know I wanted to tell you in a perfect way. But I also know you, and I know us, and nothing about us has ever had to be perfect to be beautiful.” She smiled through tears “I don’t need a perfect wedding. I don’t need a perfect announcement. I don’t need perfect timing.” Her voice cracked “I just need you.” she looked down at her stomach again “We need you.”
The screen faded to black, for several seconds, nobody breathed, nobody clapped, nobody spoke. The room was suspended in that one truth, pregnant, their baby.
Quinn and Y/N’s baby.
Then Quinn moved, he stood so quickly his chair scraped against the floor, but he didn’t seem to hear it. He turned toward Y/N, both hands reaching for her before he even seemed to decide what he was doing, Y/N stood too, trembling “I’m sorry,” she said immediately, crying. “I was going to tell you before the wedding, but then everything got so busy, and I wanted to find the right moment, and I told her because I was freaking out, and I didn’t know she put it in the video, I swear I didn’t know—”
Quinn shook his head quickly “No,” he said, voice broken. “Don’t apologize.”
“I wanted to tell you privately.”
“Baby,” he whispered, and his voice cracked so hard that Y/N sobbed again. “Come here.” he pulled her into him, not carefully, not politely, desperately, his arms wrapped around her so tightly she disappeared against his chest, her face pressed into his suit jacket, his hand cradling the back of her head.
The room erupted, not into wild cheering at first, into crying, into gasps, into hands covering mouths and people standing and hugging each other. Ellen practically stumbled toward them, Jim right behind her, both crying. Jack looked like he had forgotten how to function. Luke was still sitting for half a second longer, staring at his brother and Y/N like he was watching the entire universe rearrange itself.
Then Jack shoved his chair back “No way,” he said, voice thick. “No freaking way.” Luke stood too, wiping at his face “Quinn’s going to be a dad,” he said, like saying it out loud made it real, Jack turned to him, eyes wet “We’re going to be uncles.” Luke blinked, then his face crumpled “Oh my God, we’re going to be uncles.”
Trevor slapped both hands over his mouth, then immediately pointed at Quinn “I’m going to be the fun one!” Jack whipped around. “Absolutely not.” Luke shook his head. “You are not getting unsupervised access.”Trevor looked offended through his tears. “I am emotionally available!”
“You taught a child to say ‘tax fraud’ last summer,” Jack said.
“It was funny!”
“It was not age appropriate!”
Y/N laughed wetly into Quinn’s chest, but Quinn didn’t let go, he held her like the entire room could disappear and he wouldn’t notice, his face was buried in her hair, his shoulders shook once, then again “Quinn,” she whispered, pulling back just enough to see him.
He looked down at her, he was crying, openly, no hiding it, no pretending, tears on his cheeks, eyes red, mouth trembling with a smile he couldn’t quite control “You’re pregnant?” he asked, like he needed to hear her say it in real life.
Y/N nodded, crying harder “I’m pregnant.” his breath left him “Our baby?” she gave a watery laugh. “Yes, Quinn. Our baby.” he looked down between them, at her stomach, then back at her face, his hands moved carefully, almost reverently, from her back to her waist.
“Can I?” he whispered, her face crumpled “Of course.” his hand settled over her stomach, there was nothing to feel yet. Nothing visible beneath the fabric of her wedding dress, but Quinn placed his palm there like it was the most precious thing he had ever touched.
Y/N covered his hand with hers, the room seemed to break again, Ellen cried harder, Jim put a hand over his eyes for a second, Jack turned away, hands on his hips, breathing through emotion like it offended him personally, Luke leaned into him slightly, and Jack immediately wrapped an arm around his shoulders without making a joke.
Quinn stared at his hand on Y/N’s stomach, then he laughed softly, disbelieving and tearful “I’m going to be a dad?” Y/N nodded “You’re going to be a dad.”
He looked at her “I’m going to be a dad.”
“Yes.” His smile broke wide and terrified and joyful all at once “I don’t know anything about babies.” Y/N laughed through tears. “You know plenty.”
“I don’t. I know hockey.”
“You know how to love people.” His face changed, softened, broke open again, Y/N placed her hand against his cheek “That’s the important part.”
Quinn leaned down and kissed her, it wasn’t like their first kiss as husband and wife after the ceremony, sweet and emotional and watched by everyone, this was messier, salt from tears.
A laugh caught between them, his hands trembling at her waist, hers gripping the lapels of his jacket, when they pulled apart, Quinn rested his forehead against hers “How long have you known?” he whispered.
“A little over a week.”
His eyes widened. “A week?”
“I wanted to tell you. I swear.”
“No, I know. I know.” He shook his head, still trying to absorb it. “You’ve been carrying this by yourself for a week?”
“I wasn’t by myself. I told her.” Y/N glanced toward her maid of honor, who was crying and covering her mouth. “Because I was panicking.”
Quinn looked at the maid of honor, for a second, Y/N thought he might be upset, instead, he mouthed, thank you, her maid of honor sobbed harder.
Then Ellen reached them “Oh my God,” Ellen whispered, Y/N turned just in time for Ellen to pull her into the gentlest hug possible, like she had suddenly become breakable “My sweet girl,” Ellen cried. “Oh, honey.” Y/N melted into her “I’m sorry I didn’t tell everyone privately.”
Ellen pulled back, holding Y/N’s face “Do not apologize. That was beautiful. You hear me? Beautiful.” Jim stepped closer, his eyes wet and his smile trembling “Congratulations,” he said softly.
Then he looked at Quinn, his son, a husband, a father.
Jim’s face crumpled slightly before he pulled Quinn into a hug, Quinn went into his dad’s arms immediately, Jim held him hard, Y/N watched Quinn close his eyes, one hand still reaching back toward her like even in his father’s embrace, he needed to keep touching her, Jim whispered something against Quinn’s ear that Y/N couldn’t hear.
Whatever it was made Quinn nod quickly, eyes squeezed shut, when Jim pulled back, he gripped Quinn’s shoulders “You’re going to be great,” Jim said, voice rough.
Quinn shook his head slightly, overwhelmed, Jim nodded firmly “You are.” Jack arrived next, he looked at Y/N, then at Quinn, then at Y/N’s stomach, then back at Quinn “I don’t even have a joke,” Jack said, voice breaking.
Y/N laughed. “That’s how I know it’s serious.” Jack stepped forward and hugged her carefully “I’m so happy for you,” he whispered, and it was so sincere that Y/N started crying again “Thank you, Jack.”
He pulled back and pointed at her stomach “Hi, baby Hughes. I’m your favorite uncle.” Luke immediately shoved him aside “Absolutely not.”
Jack glared. “I called it first.”
“That’s not how babies work.”
“You don’t know that.” Luke hugged Y/N next, his arms awkward and careful and sweet “Congratulations,” he said quietly.
“Thank you, Lukey.” his face softened at the nickname, then he looked at Quinn “You’re going to be a dad.”
Quinn huffed out a shaky laugh “I know.”
“No, like…” Luke blinked hard. “A dad.”
Quinn nodded, eyes wet again “I know.” Luke pulled him into a hug then, and Jack joined because apparently emotional boundaries no longer existed. Quinn got trapped between both of his brothers, one laughing, one crying, both pretending neither was fully losing it.
“Don’t teach the baby your restaurant indecision,” Jack said into Quinn’s shoulder, Luke added, “Or the blanket stealing.” Quinn laughed, trying to shove them off. “Can you give me five minutes before parenting critiques start?”
“No,” Jack said.
“Absolutely not,” Luke agreed, Y/N watched them, one hand resting unconsciously over her stomach, Ellen noticed, her face softened impossibly, she stepped beside Y/N and wrapped an arm around her waist “You okay?”
Y/N nodded, though she was still crying “I’m happy.” Ellen kissed her temple “I know.”
Y/N looked across the room, everyone was reacting now, friends hugging, family crying, phones held to chests instead of recording because some moments felt too sacred.
The maid of honor stood near the projector, wiping her face with both hands. Y/N caught her eye and shook her head through tears “You’re in trouble,” she mouthed, her maid of honor mouthed back, “Worth it.”
Eventually, the DJ, who had clearly not been emotionally prepared for any of this, spoke gently into the microphone “Well,” he said, voice thick, “I think congratulations are in order for the bride, the groom…and baby Hughes.”
The room exploded, this time, it was cheering, loud, joyful, overwhelming cheering, people stoo, glasses lifted, someone shouted, “Baby Hughes!”
Jack shouted louder, “MY NIECE OR NEPHEW!” Luke yelled, “OUR niece or nephew!” Y/N laughed, crying at the same time, Quinn finally escaped his brothers and came straight back to her.
He looked dazed, happy, but dazed, like someone had handed him the entire future at once and he was trying very hard not to drop it “You okay?” Y/N asked, echoing her question from earlier, Quinn stared at her for a long second, then he laughed softly “No.”
Her eyes widened “No?”
“I mean, yes. But no.” He shook his head, smiling through tears. “I’m happy. I’m so happy I don’t know what to do.” her face crumpled “That’s exactly how I felt.”
He placed his hand over her stomach again “Hi,” he whispered, Y/N sobbed, Quinn looked embarrassed for half a second, but then he kept going, voice barely above a breath “Hi, baby.”
The entire room seemed to collectively melt, Jack made a strangled noise behind them, Luke whispered, “Oh, that was unfair.” Ellen cried again. “Quinn.” Quinn ignored everyone, his eyes stayed on Y/N’s stomach “I’m your dad,” he whispered, like he was trying the words on for the first time, Y/N covered her mouth,Quinn looked up at her “I’m your dad,” he said again, this time to her, half disbelieving.
She nodded “You are.” he swallowed hard “And you’re my wife.” she laughed through tears. “Yes.”
“And we’re having a baby.”
“Yes.”
He blinked “That’s a lot.”
“It is.”
“I love you so much.”
“I love you too.”
“No.” Quinn shook his head slightly, his hand still warm over her stomach. “I mean, I loved you this morning. I loved you when you walked down the aisle. I loved you before that. But this…”
His voice broke “This is different.” Y/N’s eyes filled again “I know.”
“I didn’t think I could love you more.” She smiled through tears. “And? he let out a shaky breath “I was wrong.” she stepped into him, wrapping her arms around his waist.
Quinn held her carefully now, different than before, still close, still protective but with a new awareness beneath his palms, as if every place he touched her had become sacred.
A few minutes later, after more hugs, more tears, and Jack loudly declaring that he needed to be involved in all baby name discussions, the DJ restarted the music.
But the mood of the reception had changed completely, the wedding had become something else, not just a celebration of what Quinn and Y/N had been, but of what they were becoming.
Husband and wife, Mom and dad, a family.
Quinn led Y/N back to the dance floor, the song was slow, soft enough that people began pairing off again around them. Ellen danced with Jim, still wiping her eyes. Jack tried to pull Luke into a dramatic slow dance as a joke and got shoved away. Trevor attempted to join them and was rejected by both.
Y/N stepped into Quinn’s arms, his hand settled at her waist, then, almost instinctively, drifted lower, closer to her stomach, she smiled “You’re going to do that a lot, aren’t you?”
He looked down at his hand “Probably.”
“Quinn.”
“What?”
“You found out ten minutes ago.”
“Yeah.”
“And you’re already hovering.”
“I am not hovering.”
“You are emotionally hovering.”
He smiled faintly “I’m allowed.” she shook her head, laughing softly. “Because we’re married?”
“You okay?” she nodded “That just sounds real when you say it.”
His eyes softened “Our baby,” he said again, quieter, Y/N leaned her forehead against his chest “Our baby.”
They swayed together, around them, the reception continued. People danced. People cried. People whispered excitedly. Somewhere nearby, Jack was already telling someone that he was going to teach the baby to skate before they could walk. Luke was arguing that developmentally, that made no sense. Trevor was insisting that babies loved him.
But Quinn and Y/N were in their own world, the same way they had been in every clip, in cars, in kitchens, in grocery stores, on docks, on bathroom floors, in bedrooms where whispered hopes had become real.
Quinn looked down at her “You said I was going to panic,” he murmured, Y/N smiled against his chest. “A little.”
“I’m not panicking.”
She lifted her head and gave him a look “You asked your dad if babies need passports.” his mouth opened, then closed “That was a valid question.”
“We are not traveling with the baby tonight.”
“I know that.”
“Do you?”
He sighed, but he was smiling “I’m processing.” she laughed softly “I know.” his face grew serious again “I wish you didn’t have to be scared alone.”
“I wasn’t alone,” she said gently. “And I knew you’d be happy. I just… I think I was overwhelmed by how much I wanted it with you.”
Quinn’s throat worked “Yeah?” she nodded “I love you so much it scares me sometimes.”
His eyes shone “That’s what you said in the video.”
“I meant it.”
“I know.”
He pulled her closer, his lips brushing her forehead “I’m scared too,” he admitted, Y/N looked up “You are?”
“Yeah.” His voice was quiet, honest. “Not because I don’t want it. I do. I want it with you. I just want to do it right.”
Her expression softened “Quinn.”
“I know there’s no perfect, but…” He glanced down at her stomach, then back at her face. “I want them to feel safe. I want you to feel safe. I want to be good at it.”
Y/N cupped his cheek “You already are.” He gave her a doubtful look “You take care of everyone you love,” she said. “You notice everything. You show up. You stay. That’s what I meant in the video.”
His eyes searched hers “You really think I’ll be a good dad?”
Y/N smiled, tears gathering again “I think our baby is the luckiest baby in the world.”
Quinn’s face crumpled, he dipped his head and kissed her again, slow and emotional, his hand resting gently over her stomach between them, when they separated, Jack’s voice cut through the tenderness “Not to interrupt the most emotional wedding dance in human history,” he said loudly from the edge of the dance floor, “but I need to say something.”
Quinn closed his eyes. “Please don’t.”
Jack ignored him, he lifted a glass “To Quinn and Y/N,” he announced.
The room quieted again, but this time with laughter waiting beneath the surface, Jack’s voice wavered slightly, even as he tried to sound casual “You two are disgusting.”
Y/N laughed, Quinn sighed, Jack continued, “Like, genuinely unbearable. You make normal couples look bad. You’ve been married for five minutes and you’re already having a baby, which feels very aggressive.”
Luke muttered, “That’s not how that works.”
“But,” Jack said, pointing at them, “I also need to say that Quinn has been in love with Y/N forever. Like, forever. Before he admitted it. Before he understood it. Before any of us were allowed to make fun of him for it.”
Quinn’s expression softened despite himself, Jack swallowed “And Y/N… you’ve loved him exactly the way he deserves. Even when he is a terrible texter. Even when he takes forever to pick dinner. Even when he hoards blankets like a tiny Canadian dragon.”
The room laughed, Quinn muttered, “Tiny?” Y/N pressed her lips together to keep from laughing harder, Jack’s voice grew thicker “So, yeah. Congratulations. On the wedding. On the baby. On making all of us cry against our will.”
Luke raised his glass beside him “To baby Hughes,” he added softly, the room repeated it “To baby Hughes.” Quinn’s hand tightened around Y/N’s, Y/N looked around the room, tears in her eyes, overwhelmed by the love surrounding them.
Then she looked at Quinn, he was already looking at her, of course he was “I guess the video worked,” she whispered.
His smile was watery “It ruined me.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be.”
He leaned closer “I want a copy.” she groaned softly. “Quinn.”
“I mean it. I want all of it.”
“The embarrassing parts too?”
“Especially those.”
“Even the blanket thief clip?”
“Yes.”
“The basil?” he paused, Y/N raised an eyebrow, he sighed. “Even the basil.”
She smiled “And the last one?”
His expression changed again, softened into something so tender it made her chest ache “Especially the last one,” he whispered, Y/N nodded, tears slipping down her cheeks again “Okay.”
The song shifted around them, but they kept dancing, at some point, Ellen took another picture. Jim wrapped his arm around her. Jack and Luke stood beside them, still wiping their faces when they thought no one was watching. Trevor cried openly and claimed he had allergies.
And Quinn held his wife in the middle of it all, his wife, the mother of his child, the girl from the videos, the girl who had once sat on her bed after a first date and called him annoying, the girl who had stood in the cold and whispered that she thought she had met the person she was going to marry, the girl who had cried on a bathroom floor because she loved him so much that the thought of their baby had overwhelmed her completely.
Quinn pressed his lips to her temple “I loved you before I knew too,” he whispered. Y/N looked up at him “You did?”
He nodded “I think everyone else knew first.” she laughed softly “That sounds like you.”
His thumb brushed her waist “I’m glad you waited for me.”
“I wasn’t waiting,” she said. “I was loving you.” Quinn’s eyes filled again “Same thing.” She smiled “Maybe.”
He looked down at her stomach, then back at her “I’m going to spend the rest of my life loving both of you.”
Y/N’s breath caught, around them, their family danced and cried and laughed, the screen behind them was black now, the video over, but Y/N could still feel every version of herself from the clips standing with her.
The girl who ranted, the girl who hoped, the girl who knew, the girl who cried over a positive test because she loved Quinn too much to hold it quietly inside her own chest, and now she was here.
In her wedding dress, in Quinn’s arms, with his ring on her finger and his hand over their baby, she thought about what she had said months ago in that final clip.
I don’t care what our wedding looks like, as long as he’s the one waiting for me at the end of the aisle.
She smiled through her tears, because Quinn had been waiting, and now, somehow, there was someone else waiting too, tiny, loved, unseen but already cherished beyond words, their baby, their future, their forever.
Y/N rested her head against Quinn’s chest as he held her close, and for the first time all night, neither of them said anything.
They didn’t need to, everything that mattered had already been said, in old videos, in whispered promises, in happy tears, in the quiet, shaking way Quinn’s hand stayed over her stomach like he was afraid to miss a single second of loving them.
summary — part 2 to "am i making you nervous?" :: you just had the best sex of your life, and it was with none other than your best friend. as the night continues, you question your feelings, fraser gives you three more orgasms, and after he accidentally lets something slip, you’re both finally forced to confront the elephant in the room. safe to say, this truly was the best night of your life.
warnings/tags — explicit smut, (best) friends to lovers, unprotected sex/creampie (again, always better to be safe than sorry!), squirting, cussing, pwp(?), kind of mutual pining, fraser is a sub for one millisecond, munch fraser (oral f and m receiving), multiple orgasms, overstim, praise kink, dumbification, dirty talk, couch sex, he takes his glasses off here..., accidental love confession, quite fluffy!, pet names (baby, sweet girl, good girl), intended lowercase, use of y/n, sort of proofread but also not reaaaally. 18+ content! read at ur own discretion!
word count — 3,350
a/n — i tried to make this a stand alone but idrk how that went along 😭 also, if the scene where fraser gives head sounds awkward let's please uhm,, not talk about it,, bc ive never actually received good head before so i have no clue what that's like. anyways! thank u for all the love on the first one!!
one word you wouldn't use to describe yourself was greedy.
but right now, as you lay on all fours, begging fraser for more after he'd just given you the best orgasm you've ever had, greedy might be the most fitting word for you.
"fraser, please…"
fuck. he was a goner.
while fraser was still trying to make sense of everything that had happened in the past ten minutes, some sort of post-climax clarity hits you, and you start to wonder about what the aftermath of this could be. will you ever be able to look him in the eye again? would he ever be able to look you in the eye again? do you become best friends who fuck on occasion and end up ruining the bond you previously had? will you be left wanting more, only to be crushed when fraser tells you he doesn't feel the same way?
because it turns out… that small crush you had might not be so small after all.
your line of thought is cut off when fraser shifts, hands moving across your ass before he gets to your dripping cunt. he collects some of the cum leaking out, and stuffs it back in, emitting a moan out of you.
"more, huh?" and just like that, he's switched over to that bolder version of him– the version of him that exists with one goal and one goal alone: to please you.
he can feel his dick start to stiffen again; the sight of you like this was something he'd kill to see forever. teary eyes, disheveled hair, swollen lips, a faint bruise ghosting your hips, and you trembling in way that isn't visible, but could be felt under his touch. everything was so overwhelming.
but before he got too hard, fraser knew one thing he had to do. taste you.
"frase—" you start, voice whinier than ever.
"shh, i know baby, i know," he murmurs, voice entirely too soft for what he's doing—or is about to do. "but i wanna taste you first, is that okay with you?"
fuck, he was so fucking intoxicating. his voice was still sweet - it's the same voice you've heard pretty much everyday growing up, only now, it was tinged with something rough, dark, and… primal.
you nod as hard as you can, unable to muster anything other than: "please."
fraser wastes no second before sinking into you, groaning the second his tongue makes contact with your heat. he licked a long stripe up your pussy, then he pushed his tongue in, and as he does so, he can taste himself in you. that's when he's convinced this is heaven. right here, burying his face into you, gripping the soft flesh of your ass as your legs shake and you moan out his name like it's the only word you know.
he involuntarily bucks his hips up, grinding across the couch for any friction he could get. you taste so good his cock hurts from how hard he is.
as he explores the soft walls of your pussy, he moves his left hand to stimulate your clit and it feels so good your vision starts to blur. then he takes his tongue out, only to insert his finger in as he starts sucking on your clit. when fraser realizes you could take one more, he inserts a second finger, and you don't know if it was because of your prior orgasm, but you cum so suddenly it shocks you.
in fact, you squirt all over him, and fraser only realizes he still has his glasses on when it splashes onto his lenses.
he takes them off and continues thrusting his fingers in to let you ride your orgasm out before removing them. however, he's still lapping at you, drinking in everything you released, including what was dripping down your thigh.
then fraser snaps out of whatever trance your pussy put him in.
"holy shit…" he pants, face flushed, and lips drenched in your juices.
he notices you're still slightly trembling, and turns you around, letting you recover a little. his cock throbs when you pull him in for a kiss the second he turns you, and his heart warms at the thought of you wanting to kiss him just as much as he wants to kiss you.
it felt like you would've been kissing forever if he didn't pull away, although he was reluctant to do so. "do you need water?"
you hadn't even realized your mouth had turned into the sahara until fraser asked, and even though there's nothing you want more than to just continue, your body has its needs, and you might've passed out in the middle of sex if he hadn't asked you.
the attentiveness makes your head spin, but not in the way it had when he was fucking your brains out just earlier. this time, it had your brain spinning with thoughts you never dared to entertain before. as unwanted as they are, there's no stopping the smile that spreads across your lips.
"yes, please," you slurred, and you both laugh at how fucked out you sounded.
when he stands up to get you water, your eyes don't miss how insanely hard his dick is and that only makes your head spin more. partly because you knew that was going to be drilling inside you again, but mostly because… wow. he was rock fucking solid, and he still put your needs first.
it was honestly the bare minimum, but in a world where so many guys' consideration disappeared the second they're having sex, your heart can't help but flutter.
ohhhh no. fraser better hurry and make you cum again before your thoughts drift further off and become uncontrollable.
he's back with a cup of water and a small smile on his face.
"thank you," you say before downing the whole thing.
"always."
you set your cup down, and you spend a couple of seconds just looking at each other, like you're silently communicating that you're both aware this isn't the same anymore. but that can't happen… can it?
you break the ice as your eyes trail down to his cock still standing uncomfortably tall, "soo… are we gonna do something about that?"
fraser gulps, opening his mouth to reply, but you're inching closer and closer to his cock, looking like you've come straight out of his wet dreams, so he has to bite his lip to avoid letting out an embarrassing moan.
"n-no, i'm supposed to make you forget…" he says, cursing himself for stuttering, but can you blame him, when he can feel your breath on his pulsating cock that's been begging for attention ever since he licked that stripe across your slit?
"mmm, i dunno frase… having you fuck my face sounds like a pretty good way to forget."
you end the sentence with a bat of your eyelashes, and fraser truly can't believe this is happening to him right now.
before he's able to reply, you wrap your hand around him and he lets out a shaky exhale. "fuck…"
that brings a smile to your face as you continue stroking him, squeezing him at random times which sends his eyes flying wide open each time. you're stroking him at a torturous pace, but it was purposeful. you wanted to rile him up, to push him to the point of abandon.
"fuck, y/n– just…" he mutters, a whine slipping in his usually leveled tone.
"just what, fraser?" you smirk, stopping your movements entirely which makes him let out a frustrated groan.
"just do it, already," at this point, his teeth were clenched and his patience was running thin.
"i need you to be a bit more specific…" you hold back a giggle, but fraser notices, and that's when he realizes what you were playing at.
he doesn't reply, instead, opting to gather your hair into a makeshift ponytail and guide you onto him himself. "that's right, open up, baby."
the pet name sends a flurry of butterflies to your stomach again, but you ignore them, trying your hardest to break fraser with your mouth. but, unbeknownst to you, you'd already broken him from the moment your lips found his.
the beads of precum taste salty, and you lick around his head to taste more. fraser hisses at the feeling of your hot mouth and tongue engulfing his tip, eyes threatening to close shut from the pleasure, but he knows there's no way in hell he's missing this view.
fraser's big, but not so big that you couldn't deep-throat him without your gag reflexes acting up. when you reach the base of his cock, you hum, and the vibrations make fraser tighten his grip on your hair, letting out a deep groan.
"you're insane…" he pants, still keeping eye contact as you pull away to catch your breath. this time, fraser lets you work your magic—dragging your tongue across the whole length with a teasing smile on your face, then flicking over the slit when you reach the top. that gets a moan out of him, and you clench at nothing over the sound, fueling you to keep going.
fraser's caressing your head as you take all of him in again, making sure you show every vein, every ridge, every detail, some love, and there's not an inch of him that goes unexplored.
fraser betrays himself and shuts his eyes close, pleasure too overwhelming to keep them open. he focuses on the way your tongue is moving, the air you're exhaling out of your nose that makes him shudder, and the sound of slurping filling the room — the episode playing on the TV long forgotten.
he opens his eyes again, looking down to see you already looking up, eyes filled with tears. he moves the hand in your hair to pat your cheek.
"your mouth was just made for me, wasn't it?" you nod, replying with a muffled 'mhm' which sends another wave of vibrations through him, making him tip his head back in an attempt to keep it together.
"ohh, fuck…" fraser moaned, starting to buck his hips up, both of his hands now holding your head in place.
his eyes were shut tight, relishing in the perfect way your lips suctioned him and the perfect way you moaned against him. but as he feels his release building, he realizes there's a better place to cum in.
he suddenly pulls you off of him, and for a split second, fraser debates whether to turn you around or fuck you in missionary – because if he had to look at you while buried inside you like this, he honestly wasn’t sure he’d make it out alive.
the weight tips quickly in his head, and he turns you around.
you're surprised you aren't on your back, but you don't have to think about it too much before his voice interrupts your thoughts.
"tell me what you want, baby. tell me how you want it."
your anticipation skyrockets, tightening around nothing over the hunger that's so terribly evident in his voide.
"just please fraser. lose yourself, make me forget, and give it to me. i need you."
the raw vulnerability in your voice, practically begging him to let go of his inhibitions, is what finally does it for him. there were so many moments throughout tonight where he thought, this is it, but nope – this was it. you telling him you need him.
"everything," he repeats, his voice a low, dangerous promise, "you're taking everything."
there's absolutely no more hesitation as he grips your hips, anchoring you in place as he lines himself up. he enters you in one long, powerful, and unapologetic thrust that seems to reach all the way to your soul, and you almost scream at the feeling.
"ah— fuck!" you moaned, just as a low primal groan escapes his throat. he's slamming into you with no remorse, and you're sure the couch is never gonna recover from this.
he finds a relentless rhythm, and you swear wind gets knocked out of you with each of fraser's thrusts. he's no longer just your sweet best friend; he is a man possessed by the need to claim you, to drown out every bad memory and every ounce of stress you've carried all day.
he's driving into you with desperation, movements becoming faster and more frantic when he feels your cunt tighten around him, swallowing him whole. your mouth was heaven, but this… this transcended it.
"thaaat's it… just focus on me," he leans to growl into your ear, his breath hot and ragged. "forget everything else – it's just you and me, y/n. just me."
every thrust is a declaration, every heavy breath a testament to how much he's been hiding beneath that calm, sweet exterior. every thrust shows his determination to leave you so completely shattered that the only thing you can feel is the shape of him inside you.
your head was spinning with each slam of his hips. this position allowed more of fraser's strength, and you felt it. the feeling was so overwhelming — every vein, ridge, and the swollen tip of his cock hit the deepest parts of you. you were drooling now, unable to help yourself. the sounds coming from both of you—your whimpers, his moans, the sound of his pelvis hitting your ass and his balls brushing against the insides of your thighs—were borderline pornographic.
"feels good?" he asks, speeding up his thrusts to a pace unimaginable. you can't even form a coherent reply, answering him with a bunch of unintelligible mumbles and murmurs. he can only laugh.
"my sweet, good girl... you've really been fucked dumb, huh?" you nod, and he continues. "anybody ever fuck you like this?" then you shake your head, mustering up all your power to reply with a simple 'no!' but it sounded nothing like it—just a bunch of moans and whimpers.
you feel the coil in your stomach tighten, and start tapping on the couch from how intense it was, but you didn't want him to stop, and you let him know by yelling (what seemed to be) "don't stop!" over and over again until it sounded coherent.
knowing you want to keep going, your action of tapping out, has him smirking. huffing out a sweet laugh—contradicting his current not-so-sweet deeds. "what? you wanted this, so take it. take all of your best friend's big cock."
the sheer audacity of him to refer to himself as your best friend as he wrecks you makes your heart race even faster than the physical sensation. it was a delicious, dizzying contradiction.
fraser is completely gone now. the restraint he usually prides himself in has been incinerated by the heat of your body and the desperation in your voice. he sees the way you're tapping on the couch; a frantic, rhythmic signal of how much you're struggling to handle him and it only encourages him. that little smirk on his face is pure, unadulterated mischief, a flash of the confident, dominant man he keeps hidden behind his gentle smiles.
"nnngggfhh," your moans are muffled with the way your face is planted on the couch, and fraser can't believe how much he loves hearing you so absolutely lost, only able to produce cute little noises.
he finds your clit again and you scream. that was possibly the loudest you've ever screamed.
"you're so loud for me, y/n," he groans, voice thick with a dark, satisfied pride. "i love how much you need this. i love how much you need me."
and he doesn't know if it was the intoxicating feeling of your pussy wrapped so perfectly around him, or something else, but he pulls out and flips you around, shutting up any complaint that was at the tip of your tongue by sliding back in immediately.
and right away it feels different. this time he can see you, every proof of pleasure on your face: your unfocused eyes, the drool, how your eyebrow twitched. and it felt so much more… intimate.
this was really you.
and just like you asked, he's losing himself. losing himself in you, in the pleasure, in his indisputable feelings for you.
he can feel you reaching the edge the way your muscles are twitching and your breath is coming in short, jagged gasps. he knows you're right there, teetering on the brink of total oblivion, and he wants to be the one to push you over. he wants to be the reason you lose your mind.
"cum for me, y/n," he commands, his voice dropping into a low, intense rumble that vibrates through your entire body. "show me how much you want it. show me how much you love this dick."
he delivers a series of rapid, punishingly deep thrusts, his entire body tensing as he pushes himself to the absolute limit. he's driving you toward the peak, his eyes fixed on the way your body is reacting to him, waiting for the moment you finally break.
it's not long before you completely shatter onto him, moaning his name like a mantra, as your toes curl and your eyes roll all the way to the back of your head.
then the feeling of him chasing his own high while his thumb continued rubbing your clit made you overstimulated.
you're pretty much limp at this point as fraser continues to thrust into you, but the urgency is no longer there. you already came, and that's all that matters to him.
soon, he's nearing his own climax, and he's repeatedly saying, "take it, take it like the good girl you are."
you're whining, but the overstimulation starts turning into pleasure and you move your hips to match his thrusts, finally regaining some of your brain power.
he leans in to capture your lips in a kiss, saying: "that's it... god, y/n... just like that..." in between kisses.
he gasps, which sounded awfully like a sob, and you couldn't help but clench around him. he delivers one final, devastating thrust, before burying himself deep, pouring himself into you. and surprisingly, the feeling of his hot seed filling you up sends you over the edge again, vision going absolutely white as your body shudders with intensity.
fraser tries to help you ride your orgasm out, but he was exhausted, and he could only really manage four shallow thrusts before collapsing on top of you. he pulls out as he rolls over, nuzzling into your neck before impulsively uttering, "i love you."
at that, you freeze, and so does fraser.
"oh, fuck– i meant…" he trails off, eyebrows furrowed with worry, but he doesn't know how to excuse what he just said.
"you meant..?" you continue, hoping it wasn't just a slip of the tongue.
when fraser doesn't reply, you think: fuck it.
"fraser i… i think i love you too," his eyes widen.
"what?"
"look– i think love's a strong word, but i truly have liked you for a while, and if this aching feeling in my chest isn't love, then what is it?" his eyes continue to widen and his mouth is now agape, but he lets you continue. "and i know, maybe i'm not entirely thinking straight after four of the best orgasms i've ever experienced, but i'm confident that if you asked me in any state of mind, i'd still say i love you."
a smile slowly starts to form on fraser's lips, and he cups your jaw, caressing your cheek before pulling you into a kiss. this time, there was nothing underneath it but softness and the love you shared.
when you pull away, fraser's contagious smile just refuses to leave his face.
"i never would've thought i'd ever hear you say that, y/n," he starts, "i've loved you for so long, but i never expected… well, this," he gestures around you and you giggle.
"well, this is definitely happening, fraser pierre minten," you kiss him again, and in between kisses, he says:
summary — after a terrible day, you need to get laid. like, need. but being recently dumped and afraid of hooking up with strangers, you aren't left with many options. you’re already hanging on by a thread when fraser shows up at your door looking unfairly good. it takes everything in you not to ask him to help with your little... problem, and things only get worse once your show takes a very explicit turn. luckily for you, fraser's a good friend.
warnings/tags — explicit smut, unprotected sex/creampie (wrap it before u tap it always!), riding, implied friends to lovers (ending is pretty ambiguous), sexual tension, hint of a praise kink maybe?, dirty talk (sort of possessive), breast play, couch sex, glasses stay ON!, pet names (baby, sweetheart, good girl), intended lowercase, sad attempts at humor, honestly a little angsty - but mostly smut, not proofread we die like real men. 18+ content! read at ur own discretion!
word count — 3,478
a/n — first fic on here, but this is not my first rodeo! this one's wordy, but im definitely not opposed to making it wordier with a part 2, if anybody would want that!
today has been terrible. it felt like the world was working against you at all times, and by the end, all you wanted was a good fuck. either that, or a good night’s rest.
problem is: you have no one to go to. you’d recently broken up with your boyfriend, and you didn't feel like going out. but even if you did feel like it, all of your friends were busy, and a night out alone sounded like a true crime story waiting to happen.
you were starting to think you should just choose sleep, but in the middle of binging a show, someone knocks at your door. it was fraser.
you and fraser have been friends since… forever. you knew the ins and outs of each other, and despite his busy schedule, you managed to keep in touch.
and you soorttt of have a tiny crush on him. sort of. but it was tiny! minuscule, even. molecular. and other synonyms.
in your current state, however… you’ve never wanted to eat him alive more than now. but you're a good well-adjusted member of society, so instead of jumping his bones, you ask him why he's here.
there was no denying that after you broke up with your ex, there's been some tension between you two. but it went unmentioned, although definitely noticed.
"i just wanted to see you," he says, and jumps to add more when he realizes how awkward it sounded. "you know—to hang out, and stuff?"
like it was second nature, he leaned against your door frame, hands shoved in the pockets of his sweatpants. he was wearing his glasses, which was a rare sight nowadays. it only intensifies your desire.
your words stay stuck in your throat, and when it takes you a bit longer than usual to reply, a flicker of hesitation flashes in his eyes. he shifts his weight from one foot to another, no longer leaning on the door frame.
“i mean… if you aren't busy,” he adds softly, looking down at his feet, before looking back up at you. “sorry, i was just– i was driving around and thought of you, so… i came over.”
you regain your composure, or what’s left of it, at least, and respond. “no, yeah, of course!”
you open the door wider, letting him in. he lets out a soft ‘thanks’ before kicking his shoes off and placing them to the side. when you make eye contact again, he offers you a small, sweet smile. the one that always made you feel a bit better.
“sorry for coming over so suddenly. we can just do whatever - i didn't actually really have a plan,” he chuckles, “we could watch something, or i’ll try to cook something up? or you can just talk. i’m a good listener, you know that,” he smiles again, a hint of pride in his voice.
although you haven't said anything about today out loud, fraser seems to have noticed you've had a rough day, and that warms your chest a little.
it's always been moments like these that have you questioning what you truly felt for him. his words were enough to loosen some tension in your shoulders — tension you hadn't even realized you were carrying until it faded. he’s the sweetest person you know, and you've always had a special connection; he could sense whenever you were off, and you could read his face better than most people.
sometimes—more than you'd like to admit, actually—the thought of you and fraser being made for each other crosses your mind, but you're quick to shoo it away. just friends, y/n, your brain reminds you. although, you do still think he looks scrumptious.
“i was actually in the middle of a show, but we could switch it to something else you want.”
you both walk into the living room, and he plops right down on the couch, which makes you giggle. “you don't have to change it for me. i’m just happy to be here.”
you sit down right beside him, the space between you almost non-existent, but that was the norm. you don't get to reply before he speaks again.
“you know… talking's still on the table. you look like you’ve had a long one. do you wanna talk about it? or just keep watching and pretend the day never happened?”
“well i…” wish you would bend me over and fuck me till i forgo— woah, what the hell, y/n? you can't think about stuff like that, you shake your head, hoping to shake the thoughts away too. “i don't know.”
the pause you took makes fraser’s brow quirk, but he doesn't mention it, and instead lets you continue.
"we can just watch the show, if that's alright with you," you murmur, and fraser gives you a look—one that tells you to stop checking with him because he'll do anything for you and you know that.
"i already told you, y/n, I'm happy with anything," despite his words, he doesn't actually sound irritated with you.
before you could reply, he's already grabbing the remote and pressing play.
as the episode went on, you explained to him what was happening, the characters and their relationship, and what the show was about, since he hadn't seen it. you both were having a fun time, laughing and joking around. his company and the sound of his laughter eased you more than you thought it would.
but then the episode takes a sudden turn, and before you knew it, clothes were flying.
fraser was doing his hardest trying to listen to you without getting lost in the way your eyes lightened up with interest as you explained, and doesn't even register when the episode turns steamy at first. not until you become increasingly quiet.
his eyes are back on the tv, and the moans become louder. initially, fraser doesn't look away or show any signs of discomfort—he’s grown, he can handle a little sex scene—but as the nudity becomes more prominent, he can't help shift in his seat a little, suddenly becoming more aware of your scent, how close you were, and the sweat trickling down his back.
you, on the other hand, were cursing yourself for not just switching the show earlier. but you also didn't see this coming! just when you were no longer hot and bothered, this episode decided it wanted to be a porno out of nowhere, and it didn't help that fraser’s scent took up the whole room, and that you were so close you could feel his chest rising and falling.
his broad chest, his big arms, his chiseled abs… christ, y/n–snap out of it!
the lighthearted, easygoing energy between you and fraser from before was now replaced by something heavier, as the air grew thicker and warmer.
fraser finally turns to look at you, and a faint tint of red brushed at his ears, but he didn't look flustered. his gaze is heavy, sweeping over your face before dropping down to your lips, and then, almost involuntarily, down to the curve of your neck.
“well, uh… they certainly aren't very shy about it,” he spoke, smiling almost sheepishly.
you awkwardly chuckle, tearing your eyes away from the screen, although you didn't know if you could handle holding eye contact. “yeah... they really aren't.”
you turn your head in time to see his eyes dip to your lips, and you have to bite back from instinctively licking them. the tension was heavy, and the scene in front of you was not helping lightenit at all.
you find yourself looking down at his lips too, then at his hands, then memories of him shirtless from last summer flashes in your mind. bad, fucking time, brain. i’m almost dripping.
you see the way his adams apple bobs as he gulps, and you don't realize when you got this close. you must've been inching closer subconsciously.
fraser notices the space between you growing smaller and smaller, but he doesn't pull back. he just holds his breath, studying your every move. he looks down at your lips again, and for a split second, something primal takes over him.
his hand finally moves. a slow - agonizingly slow - deliberate, delicate movement, as if you’d vanish into thin air if he moved any quicker. his large, warm hand grazed your jawline before his thumb settled just below the corner of your mouth.
his face shows no sign of it, but you can feel the hesitation in his touch.
“you’re… you’re very close, y/n,” he notes, but he doesn't move to create distance. if anything, he moves a fraction of an inch closer. “am i… am i making you nervous?”
a hint of awkwardness lingers in his tone, but the look in his eyes isn't one you’d find on an awkward man. the only thing fraser was waiting for was your signal.
you almost couldn't believe this was happening. if middle-of the-day you had known you’d end the day just inches from fraser minten’s face, you probably wouldn't have felt so bitter about the events that went down.
you swallow the lump in your throat before you speak.
“fraser, can i be honest with you?”
his expression shifts at that, and he’s still a heartbeat away when he responds, voice barely above a whisper. “yeah?”
“i had a disastrous day, and after, i’ve been aching to be dicked down. so if that’s not what you want to do right now, please pull away.”
fraser freezes. his thumb still rests against your lip as his eyes widen slightly. for a second, his brain scrambles to make sense of what he just heard—of the complete, unfiltered honesty of your request. he can't help but be stunned.
then, when it clicks, something in the air shifts.
his pupils dilate until you could hardly see the blue in his eyes, any softness that remained in his expression melts into something much… darker.
he lets out a long, shaky exhale before replying.
“pull away?” he repeats, head slightly shaking, like he couldn't fathom anyone pulling away at a chance like this. his voice is almost unrecognizable, laced with thick desire. thick enough to rival yours.
“never in my wildest dreams would i ever do that,” is the last thing he says before he leans in, capturing your lips in a long-awaited kiss. it felt relieving, and you relaxed into it as his hand slides from your jaw to the back of your neck, fingers tangling in your hair to hold you steady.
he pulls away to catch his breath, forehead resting against yours. his glasses fogged with every exhale, but he didn't care. “i’ve wanted this for so long, y/n. you have no idea.”
he doesn't wait for your reply before he tilts his head again for another kiss. it’s rougher than before, no longer testing the waters. this time, you could feel the hunger. his need. his possessiveness—and it all makes you moan into it.
his tongue desperately sweeps against yours in a newfound confidence, looking to taste every inch of you. he kisses like a man starved, and you could feel–or taste–something frustrated in the way he kissed you. and, truthfully, he was frustrated. frustrated at how long you’ve been depriving him of this.
then his muscular thighs slide between yours, silently expressing how much he wants you, too, if it wasn't already obvious.
in between kisses, you both take your tops off. the second you unclip your bra, fraser lets out a low, guttural sound, hands immediately moving to get a feel for them. “so fuckin’ gorgeous, sweetheart.”
you’re already straddling him at this point, and while he knows you’re growing needier and needier, he can't help but be mesmerized, staring mindlessly as he groped at them. the soft flesh felt like heaven under his touch, and he starts licking at one of your nipples.
he nibbled and sucked on it as he played with the other. you grinded against his hard-on, sighing at the friction it granted you.
fraser gets a little lost in your tits, but when he hears your whines progressively get louder, he finally pulls away with a string of saliva connecting him and the nipple. the sight only makes his cock agonizingly harder.
“p-please, frase…”
he looks back up at you, and the desperation in your eyes makes something in his head click. before you could register it, he’s gotten rid of every article of clothing getting in the way, and lifts your hips up so you can finally sink down on him.
you both moan at the sensation. your walls were gripping him like a vice, and his dick filled you up in a way that put every dildo you own to shame.
his large hands roam around your body before settling on the fat of your ass, gripping it the way he’d been gripping your chest.
“so tight, y/n… i’m gonna lose my mind,” you subconsciously tighten at his words and he curses under his breath. “you can't keep doing that, i swear—”
he cuts himself off with a groan as you grind against him.
“sorry, you just feel so good and i need it so badly frase—” he kisses you, stopping your tangent from getting any longer.
“i could say the same about you.”
you stop moving for a while, willing yourself to loosen up a little, but your efforts seem to have no effect on fraser.
“oh, god… baby,” he gasps, eyes still fluttering at the feeling. his grip on your ass tightens as he tries to steady his breathing, but you don't really hear his labored breathing. the only thing repeating in your head was what he had just called you.
baby.
the petname makes your head dizzy, and you hold back a moan as your head replays the way he said it.
fraser finally gathers himself, and starts moving up. the moans he let out were music to your ears, and as his movements sped up, your own moans grew louder.
the overly-cautious fraser you knew wasn’t present at this moment, movements driven by the sheer need to be inside you.
you bounce to meet his thrusts, and he starts hitting the spot that makes your eyes roll and toes curl. “that the spot, y/n?”
too fucked out to speak, you nod, and that brings a smile on fraser’s face. happy he was fulfilling his job well.
one of the hands he had resting on your ass moves towards your heat, beginning to circle around your neglected clit. the sudden attention on it almost knocks all the wind in your lungs out.
“fuuuuck—i feel so full of you f-frase—god,”
at that, he continues thrusting up, feeding off of your praise. your walls tighten around him again and he swears he almost came, but he holds on, dedicated to giving you what you need.
suddenly, a surge of confidence moves through fraser, and he starts saying things you never would've expected him to say, but you weren't complaining. if anything, you wanted to hear more.
"shit—you taking it well f'me? hm? y-you like the way my cock fills you up, fucking you so dumb you forgot about how your day went?"
the sudden change in his tone sends a jolt of pure electricity straight to your core. fraser is usually so soft spoken, so careful with his words, so polite. to hear him use that low, dirty tone to hear him claim you with such blunt, arrogant confidence is more intoxicating than the physical sensation itself.
his eyes move between your cunt—admiring the way he disappears in you and how well you take him—and your expression. he loved seeing how the pleasure twisted your face, loved that he was lucky enough to be blessed with such a sight, loved that it was him making you feel this good.
“thaaat’s it,” he coos, hips snapping upward at an unruly pace. “look at you, you’re such a good girl for me, aren't you? taking it all.”
his thrusts are purposeful, aiming directly at the spot he found over and over again, and even looking to go deeper if he could. he relished in the way your walls tighten at his words.
"tell me," he commands, his voice a husky, demanding rasp as he thrusts deeper, his thick thighs tensing with the effort. "tell me how much you love it when I'm inside you like this. tell me you don't want anyone else to ever touch you like this again."
the words that leaves fraser’s mouth feel uncharacteristic, when really you’ve just tapped into a new version of fraser that you created. he’s toeing the line between friends just helping each other and something much more, testing how much of this would later be disregarded as things he said in the heat of the moment, or be taken as what they are. the truth.
he tsks at your lack of response, and you’re already apologizing in your head before you could find the strength to voice it out.
“say it, baby,” he whispers against your ear, pace becoming frantic. “tell me you’re mine.”
he continues to be unrelenting in his thrusts, because there’s a part of him that wishes that it doesn't register in your brain. that you file it away as “dirty talk,” and he counts on your fucked out self to keep quiet, so that you don't make the mistake of choosing a response that’ll completely undo him.
much to his dismay, you say exactly what his brain has been itching to hear.
“‘m yours! i’m a-all yours, frase–!” you cut yourself off with a scream as one powerful thrust hits a part of you you've never felt anyone or anything reach before. you can feel your orgasm at the tip of your tongue at this point, and you were a slurring mess. even just that one sentence took all your brain power to create.
the sound of your scream and your admission are the final catalyst that break him. it sends a surge of pure, unadulterated adrenaline through his veins, and his eyes are blown wide as he watches the way your body arches and trembles beneath him.
his large hands are gripping your hips so tightly he knows it’ll leave faint bruises, but he doesn't really care as long as it isn't hurting you. he wants to leave a mark. he wants you to remember this.
he slows his thrusts down to deepen them, and it’s just what you needed to tip you right over the edge. you reach your climax with a loud moan of his name, and he keeps moving through it, chasing his own high.
“you’re mine,” he pants, his voice a ragged, broken thing. “mine, mine, mine…”
he whispered those words, unable to keep them to himself, hoping the ringing in your ears would block him out.
the sensation of your walls pulsing around him is too much, and he spills into you right away. your walls continue to flutter around him, milking him for all he’s worth.
he collapses forward, his heavy chest rising against yours, burying his face in your neck to catch his breath before finding your lips again in a kiss.
after just letting your lips move against each other, you pull back enough to look at him. his hair is a damp, curly mess, his face is flushed, and his eyes are back to normal. he looks completely spent, still breathing heavily, but there was a faint trace of a smile on his lips.
“you alright there?” he breaks the silence first, his voice now returning to the sweet one you were used to. “did… did that help?”
the quick switch from whatever wild animal possessed him, back to his gentle, fraser-like manner, gave you whiplash—if you didn't already have it by now. but even after that intense orgasm... you wanted more. remnants of your day were still in your head, and you wanted nothing more than for them to be gone.
"yeah," you pull out of him, still sounding slurred. but right as you got out, you crawl over and get on all fours, pushing your ass in front of him. "but i-i think i need more..."
you don't know what’s gotten into you, but you’ve never experienced an orgasm like that in your life. if this was the only night you’d get another orgasm like that, you knew better than to waste it.
alright, maybe you were a liiittle dick-notized, so what? fraser seems to be pussy-drunk too. a win-win situation.
it's only when you turn to look back at him with a pleading look on your face as he got a front row view of his cum oozing out of your hole, that he realized he was in for a long night.
Pairing: Lane Hutson x fem!reader
Word Count: 15.2k YIKES
Summary: Your best friend desperately needs your help to impress a potential lover, but his eyes may be set on a different prize.
Warnings: alcohol, catcalling, unprotected sex, other vague sexual innuendos at the end
Notes:
Hi i'm starving and tired but here we go
i literally only can describe bars as millenial burger restaurants basically
mandatory beg for likes/reblogs/comments/thoughts in my inbox
This is part 3, part 2 here
It had been nine days. Nine days since the terrace, nine days since Lane had stood in the cold and cracked himself open and waited for an answer that never came, nine days since Cole's voice had shattered whatever moment had been building between you like a rock through a windowpane. Nine days of nothing. No texts, no calls, no two-in-the-morning murmurs through the phone about murder books and coffee shops. You'd sent him three messages—hey, can we talk, and then two days later lane, please, and then four days after that just I'm sorry—and he'd left all three on read, the read receipts appearing within minutes like he was still watching, still waiting, just not willing to answer, and that somehow felt worse than no response at all.
You were becoming unhinged about it. There was no other word. You'd spent the first three days telling yourself it was fine, that he'd come around, that this was just Lane being dramatic and processing and he'd text you eventually with something awkward and sweet and things would go back to normal. By day five you'd stopped believing that. By day seven you'd started having the dreams.
They weren't like the dreams you'd expected to have—not the explicit, feverish, body-memory kind that you'd have assumed would follow a night like the one you'd shared. These were worse. So much worse, because they were soft. In the first one you'd been lying on his bed, head in his lap while he scrolled through his phone, his free hand absently carding through your hair, and he'd been humming along to that stupid niche band he loved, and you'd been talking about something inconsequential—your coworker, maybe, or a podcast—and he'd looked down at you with that soft closed-mouth smile and said yeah, but you know I'm only listening to you, right? and you'd woken up with your face wet and your chest aching so hard you couldn't breathe.
The second dream had been worse. He'd been making breakfast in his kitchen on a Sunday morning, wearing boxers and a faded BU hoodie with the sleeves pushed up, and you'd come up behind him and wrapped your arms around his waist and pressed your cheek between his shoulder blades, and he'd just leaned back into you, comfortable, easy, like your body was a piece of furniture he'd arranged his life around. He'd covered your hands with his where they clasped over his stomach and said good morning, beautiful girl, without turning around, casual as breathing, and you'd woken up gripping your own pillow so tightly your fingers ached.
The third dream you wouldn't even let yourself think about. It had involved his laugh—not the nervous giggle or the drunk cackle but the real one, the quiet one he only did when he was truly, genuinely happy, the one that was more of an exhale than a sound, his eyes crinkling and his whole face going soft. In the dream he'd been laughing at something you said, and he'd been looking at you like you were the funniest, most brilliant person alive, and you'd thought, with dream-clarity, oh. Oh, I love him. I love him and I've been pretending I don't because pretending was safer than admitting that this boy has the power to destroy me.
You'd woken up from that one at four in the morning and stared at your ceiling for an hour, your heart pounding, your mind replaying every moment of the last three years through a new lens—every movie night where his shoulder had pressed against yours, every airport pickup where he'd hugged you too long, every time he'd remembered your coffee order or texted you about a song that made him think of you or shown up at your door in a snowstorm because you'd been crying. Three years of evidence, laid out like a case file, every piece pointing toward the same conclusion you'd been too stubborn or too scared or too careful to see. He'd been yours the whole time. He'd been yours and you'd let him suffer in silence, let him invent fake girls to talk about, let him lie awake in love with you while you dated other people and called him your best friend and never once stopped to ask yourself why his opinion mattered more than anyone else's, why his laugh made your chest feel full, why you'd never once—not once—in three years gone more than two days without talking to him.
The daydreams came next, uninvited, surfacing at the worst possible moments—in the shower, on the metro, at your desk during a meeting. You couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to just be with him, in that mundane, unremarkable way that couples were together. Grocery shopping on a Tuesday, arguing about pasta shapes. Falling asleep on his chest while a movie played in the background, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your arm. Him coming home from a road trip, exhausted, dropping his bag in the hallway and finding you in your shared bed and just—collapsing into you, his face in your neck, his arms around your waist, mumbling missed you into your skin like it was the only sentence his tired brain could produce.
You imagined his hands. That was the part that snuck up on you—the specificity of it, the way your brain would zero in on some small detail and obsess over it until you felt sick with wanting. The way his fingers had trembled against your waist that night. The way his thumb had drawn that slow absent circle on your bare back at the gala, possessive and gentle, like touching you was involuntary, like his hand had decided it belonged there independent of his brain's input. The way he'd looked at you in the bathroom mirror while zipping your dress, those pale blue eyes dark and focused, his jaw tight, his hands so careful, so controlled, while you knew—could feel—that every nerve in his body was screaming at him to pull you backward into him.
You missed him so badly it had become physical. A hollow ache below your ribs, a heaviness in your limbs, a persistent low-grade nausea that lived in the pit of your stomach and intensified every time you picked up your phone and there was no message, no notification, no stupid tiktok or song recommendation or three-in-a-row texts about something he'd seen on his commute. The silence was deafening. Lane's silence specifically, because he'd never been silent before—not in three years, not once—and the absence of his voice in your life was like a tooth that had been pulled, the phantom ache of something that used to be there.
It was eleven-thirty on a Saturday night and you were lying on your couch in sweatpants and an oversized shirt, half-watching a show you'd already seen, your phone balanced on your stomach, when you opened Instagram on autopilot—muscle memory, distraction, the modern equivalent of picking at a wound. You scrolled without seeing, thumbs moving through stories of people you barely knew, food posts and sunset videos and someone's vacation in Lisbon, and then you tapped onto Cole Caufield's story, posted twenty minutes ago to his close friends list, and your whole body went still.
The video was dark and shaky, clearly filmed by someone drunk, the camera whipping across a crowded bar to capture the sound of something being chanted—you couldn't make out the words, just the rhythm, the communal bellowing of a team that had just won. The camera panned and found faces you recognized—Nick at the bar, Juraj's enormous frame blocking half the screen, a few guys you didn't know in Habs beanies—and then, briefly, in the background, half-cut-off by the edge of the frame, Lane. Sitting in a booth. Leaning back against the wall with a beer in his hand, his head tipped back, his eyes closed, his mouth set in that tight flat line that wasn't a smile. He looked tired. He looked sad, even in a three-second blurry clip, even surrounded by his teammates celebrating a win, and something in your chest cracked open like a fault line giving way.
The caption read postgame vibes @ champs bar let's goooooo 🍻.
You stared at the screen. Stared at that three-second clip of Lane with his eyes closed and his jaw tight and his body folded into the corner of a booth like he was trying to disappear. Nine days. Nine days of silence and dreams and fantasies and this aching, hollow, growing thing in your chest that you'd been calling guilt but which was, you were beginning to understand, something else entirely—something bigger, something scarier, something that had been there all along and had only needed the right conditions to surface.
You sat up. Your phone clattered to the floor. You were already moving before your brain caught up—off the couch, down the hallway, yanking open your closet, pulling out the first things your hands found. Jeans, a top, a jacket. You didn't check a mirror. You didn't think about what you were going to say. You grabbed your keys, your wallet, your phone, and you walked out the door into the cold Montreal night with your heart in your throat and a single thought screaming through your head like a siren, overriding every careful, rational, self-preserving instinct you'd ever had.
Get him back. Go get him back. Right now.
The bar was the kind of place that had probably been a hardware store in a past life—high ceilings, exposed ductwork, a long wooden bar scarred with years of coaster stains and knife gouges. It was packed, shoulder-to-shoulder, the postgame crowd buzzing with the manic energy of a win, Habs jerseys and team colors dotted through the masses like a scavenger hunt. The air was thick with spilled beer and cologne and the overlapping roar of too many conversations happening at once, and you had to push through a wall of bodies just to get past the entrance, your eyes scanning the room in a frantic sweep that moved too fast to process anything clearly. Booths on the left, high-tops in the center, the bar along the back wall—it was a lot of ground to cover, and you were craning your neck, rising on your toes—
"Yo! Hey!"
A hand waved above the crowd from a high-top near the pool tables, and you turned to find Arber Xhekaj grinning at you from across a sea of heads, his enormous frame making him impossible to miss even in a packed bar. He was already pushing his chair back, beckoning you over with a wave so enthusiastic it nearly took out the guy walking past him, and you redirected your path toward him on autopilot, still scanning the room over his shoulder, your eyes darting from face to face. "Hey," you said when you reached the table, and your voice came out distracted, thin, your gaze already sliding past him to check the booths behind his left shoulder. "Hey, Arber. Hi."
"Whaat, no way!" He stood and pulled you into a side-hug that lifted your feet slightly, one massive arm clamping around your shoulders. He smelled like beer and aftershave and the particular sweat-funk of someone who'd played sixty minutes of hockey and then showered but not well enough. "What are you doing here? I didn't know you were coming out tonight! Sit down, sit—move over, Ivan, make room—" He gestured at the chair next to him, already dragging it out with his foot, his face open and friendly and genuinely pleased to see you. "You want a drink? I'm getting another round, let me—"
"I'm good, I'm good." You sat, your knees bouncing under the table, your eyes still roaming the bar. From this angle you could see most of the room—the booths where you'd spotted Lane in Cole's story, the high-tops where a group of guys in Habs hoodies were doing shots, the pool tables where Juraj was attempting a trick shot while Nick watched with his arms crossed. No Lane in the booths. No Lane at the high-tops. Your stomach tightened. "Are you guys celebrating? I saw Cole's story, congrats on the win."
"Huge win, baby. Huge." Arber settled back into his chair, his legs spread wide, his posture loose and comfortable and taking up approximately twice the space of a normal human being. He was in a fitted black t-shirt, biceps bulging, his dark hair still damp from the shower, and he was looking at you with that easy, confident warmth he always had—the kind of guy who made eye contact like it was a sport he intended to win. "So what, you just decided to pop by? Or are you looking for—" His eyebrow quirked, a knowing smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, and he leaned forward on his elbows. "Lane?"
"What? No." Too fast. Way too fast. You forced a laugh that felt like swallowing glass. "No, I just—I was in the neighborhood, I wanted to hang out. With you guys. With the gang." You gestured vaguely at the bar around you, the word gang hanging in the air between you like a dead fish, and Arber's smirk deepened into something amused and knowing but he let it go, settling back in his chair with his beer.
"The gang, yeah. We're the gang." He took a sip, studying you over the rim of his glass, and you were about to redirect the conversation—say something about the game, about anything, about literally any topic that wasn't the five-foot-nine defenseman you'd come here to find—when your eyes finally swept the bar and landed on him.
Lane was leaning against the far end of the bar top, one elbow propped on the surface, his body angled toward a girl you'd never seen before. She was pretty—brunette, sharp cheekbones, a low-cut top—and she was standing close enough that her hip was nearly touching his, her hand resting on the bar beside his arm. And Lane was smiling. Not the tight flat line from Cole's story, not the anxious grimace he wore when he was uncomfortable, but a real, genuine, engaged smile, his pink lips curved wide, his eyes crinkling at the corners, his head ducked toward hers like he was hanging on every word she was saying. He said something back and she laughed, touching his arm, and he looked down at her hand on his bicep and then back up at her face with an expression that was open and warm and interested, and your heart dropped through the floor so fast it took your stomach with it.
"—anyway, so I tell him, I tell him, you can't pinch on a two-on-one, that's literally—hey, you listening?" Arber was saying, and you realized you'd been staring, your body gone rigid in your chair, your nails digging into your palms under the table.
"Yeah. Yeah, no, the pinch thing, that's—" You dragged your eyes back to Arber and forced them to stay there, your jaw clenched so tight your molars ached. "That's so annoying. When they pinch. On the two-on-one."
Arber narrowed his eyes at you, then followed your line of sight over his shoulder, glancing toward the bar. He turned back slowly, the corner of his mouth curling. "You sure you're not looking for someone?"
"I'm literally hanging out with you, Arber. I came to see you." You leaned forward on your elbows, mirroring his posture, pushing a smile onto your face that felt like it was being held on with duct tape and prayer. "I'm having a great time. Tell me more about the pinch thing. I'm riveted."
He laughed, a low warm sound, and leaned in too, closing the distance between you. "Okay, so you actually want to hear about defensive zone coverage? Because I will talk about that for hours, don't test me."
"Try me." You tilted your head, your hair falling over one shoulder, and you could feel the flirtation coming out of you like a reflex—automatic, mechanical, a script you knew by heart. You were good at this. You'd always been good at this, the banter, the eye contact, the leaning-in, the little laughs at the right moments. It was muscle memory. It meant nothing. But Arber was smiling at you like you'd just made his night, his eyes bright and interested, his forearm resting on the table close enough that his pinky was an inch from yours, and you let your knee brush his under the table and said something about how you'd always thought defensemen were the smartest guys on the ice, and he bit his lip and grinned and told you that was the best thing anyone had ever said to him.
You were performing. You knew you were performing, and the knowledge sat in your chest like a stone, cold and heavy, because every laugh and every hair-tuck and every casually-delivered compliment was happening while your eyes kept betraying you, flicking over Arber's shoulder every few seconds to the bar where Lane was still leaning toward the brunette, still smiling, still looking at her with that easy unguarded warmth that used to be yours. She was talking close to his ear now, her mouth nearly touching his skin, and he was nodding, laughing, his hand coming up to rest on the bar behind her back—not touching her, not quite, but close, close, the ghost of the same possessive gesture he'd used on you at the gala.
Arber said something funny and you laughed, bright and loud, and touched his forearm, and across the bar Lane's head turned—just slightly, just enough, like the sound of your laugh had cut through the noise and found him on instinct. His eyes found you across the room, found Arber, found your hand on Arber's arm, and for one split second his face went completely blank. The smile vanished. The warmth vanished. Everything vanished, replaced by a look so raw and so brief that you might have imagined it—a flash of something that looked like the cold, like say something, please, anything—and then the brunette said his name and he turned back to her, his jaw tight, his hand curling into a fist on the bar top.
You smiled at Arber so hard your face hurt.
He was funny, actually, genuinely funny in a blunt unfiltered way, and under different circumstances you might have enjoyed sitting here with him, might have leaned into the attention, might have let the night go somewhere easy and uncomplicated. But your peripheral vision had tunnelled to a single point at the far end of the bar, and every few seconds your eyes would betray you again—another glance, another check, another inventory of the distance between Lane's body and the brunette's body, which was shrinking by the minute.
She was touching his chest now, one finger tracing the collar of his shirt, and he was looking down at her hand and then up at her face with a half-smile that you recognized—the flattered, slightly bewildered smile of a boy who couldn't quite believe someone was coming onto him. It was the smile he'd worn at the bar that first night, the one you'd catalogued without meaning to, the one that made his cheekbones look high and his eyes look impossibly blue and his whole face look heartbreakingly, devastatingly open. He said something close to her ear and she grinned, her hand sliding up from his collar to the side of his neck, her thumb brushing the hinge of his jaw, and he didn't pull away. He didn't flinch. He just stood there and let her touch him, his own hand finally settling low on her waist, fingers curling into the fabric of her top, and something in your chest caved in like a kicked wall.
"—and then he just peed on it, right in front of God and everybody, and Slaf goes—hey, you okay?" Arber paused, his beer halfway to his mouth, his eyes narrowing with genuine concern as he studied your face. "You look kinda—"
"I'm fine." The words came out clipped, mechanical, your smile frozen in place like a mask welded to your skull. "The dog thing is hilarious. What did Slaf do?"
"So Slaf picks up the bag and holds it out at arm's length like it's a bomb, and he goes—"
Lane leaned in. You saw it happen in excruciating, frame-by-frame slow motion, like a car crash you couldn't look away from—the way his hand on her waist tightened, pulling her a half-step closer, the way his head tilted down toward hers, the way her chin tipped up, her fingers sliding into the hair at the back of his neck. And then they were kissing. Not a polite peck, not a tentative first move, but a real kiss—his mouth on hers, her body pressing into him, his other hand coming up to cup the side of her face, his thumb brushing her cheekbone in a gesture so tender it made your vision blur. He kissed her the way he'd kissed you that night in his bed, with that same earnest slightly-off-rhythm focus, his whole body leaning into it, and you realized with a sick lurch that he was good at it now. Practiced. Like someone had taught him.
"—and that's when I said, bro, it's a puppy, you can't be mad at a puppy—" Arber was still going, still animated, still completely oblivious, and you made a sound that was supposed to be a laugh but came out as more of a choked exhale. You picked up Arber's beer and took a sip without asking, just to have something to do with your mouth, something to replace the words that were climbing up your throat. Your eyes were burning. Your chest felt like it was being crushed in a vise, slow and deliberate, every breath requiring conscious effort.
The brunette pulled back from the kiss, laughing, her lipstick slightly smudged, and Lane grinned—that full, genuine, crinkled-eye grin—and wiped his lower lip with his thumb, and you had to look away. You had to. You physically could not watch another second of it without something inside you splitting open, so you turned back to Arber and fixed your gaze on his face with the intensity of someone defusing a bomb, your smile so wide and so brittle it could have shattered on contact.
"You should come to the next game," Arber was saying, leaning closer, his knee pressing warm against yours under the table. He'd moved in during the dog story and you hadn't even noticed, his body angled toward yours, his arm draped over the back of your chair. "I can leave tickets at will-call. Lower bowl, good seats. You ever sit behind the bench?"
"I haven't." You twirled a strand of hair around your finger, tilting your head, your pulse hammering in your ears. "You'd do that? Leave me tickets?"
"For you? Obviously." He smiled—slow, confident, the kind of smile that knew exactly what it was doing. His hand dropped from the back of your chair to your shoulder, his thumb tracing a small circle against the fabric of your jacket, and you let him do it, let the warmth of his palm soak through the material, let your body lean slightly into his touch, because the alternative was turning around and watching Lane run his fingers through a stranger's hair and you would rather chew through your own tongue.
The thought arrived fully formed, like it had been waiting in the wings for its cue—you didn't decide to do it so much as you felt your body lean forward, propelled by something ugly and desperate and furious that had taken root in the hollow space behind your ribs the second Lane's mouth had touched someone else's. Arber was mid-sentence, something about road trips and team dinners, his face close and comfortable and right there, and you closed the distance before you could talk yourself out of it.
You kissed him. Your hand came up to the side of his jaw—stubbled, warm, wrong, wrong—and you pressed your mouth against his with a precision that felt surgical, deliberate, angled just enough to be visible from across the bar. Arber made a surprised sound against your lips, a muffled "mmph," and then he recovered fast, his hand sliding to the back of your neck, pulling you in, kissing you back with an easy confidence that told you this wasn't his first rodeo. He kissed well—firm, practiced, unhurried, his thumb stroking the nape of your neck in a way that was probably supposed to feel good but instead felt like static, like white noise, like touching a surface that looked like skin but wasn't.
You kept your eyes open for the first two seconds. Long enough to see past Arber's cheek, through the crowd, across the bar to where Lane was standing with the brunette's lipstick on his mouth—and his head was turned. He was looking. He was looking right at you, his face frozen in that same blank mask from earlier, his hand still resting on the brunette's waist but his eyes locked on you, on Arber, on the shape of your mouth pressed against someone else's. The expression on his face was unreadable—not angry, not hurt, just empty, wiped clean, like someone had reached inside him and pulled the plug on whatever was keeping the lights on. And then his eyes dropped. He looked away. He turned back to the brunette and said something close to her ear and placed his hand on the small of her back and guided her toward the other end of the bar, away from you, away from the sight line, and he didn't look back.
You closed your eyes and kissed Arber harder, sliding your hand from his jaw to the back of his neck, pulling him deeper, and the kiss was fine. It was a good kiss. Technically sound, mutually enthusiastic, the kind of kiss that should have made your pulse race and your stomach flip and your brain go pleasantly foggy. Instead you felt everything—the scratch of his stubble against your chin, the taste of beer on his tongue, the hand on your neck that was too big, too confident, too not trembling—and you felt nothing. A void where sensation should have been, a performance so convincing that Arber groaned softly against your mouth and tightened his grip on your neck and you had to fight the urge to pull away and wipe your lips on the back of your hand.
When you finally broke the kiss, Arber was grinning—slow, satisfied, a little dazed, his thumb still tracing circles on your nape. "Okay," he breathed, a laugh threading through the word. "Okay, that was—I wasn't expecting that, but I'm not complaining."
"Yeah?" You smiled at him and it felt like your face was going to crack in half. Your heart was beating at a normal rate. Your stomach was flat and calm. Your skin wasn't tingling. Everything was exactly where it should be and nothing was happening inside you and that, more than anything, told you everything you needed to know about what you'd just done and why you'd done it and how thoroughly, irreversibly stupid it was.
"I gotta ask, though." Arber's grin softened into something more searching, his blue eyes studying your face with more perception than you'd credited him with. "That wasn't—you weren't trying to make Lane jealous, right? Because I'm into this, whatever this is, but I'm not really the type to—"
"No," you said quickly. Too quickly. Again. "No, I just—I wanted to kiss you. Is that weird?"
"It's not weird." His hand was still on your neck, warm and steady, and he leaned in like he might kiss you again, his mouth hovering near yours. "I'm glad you wanted to kiss me. I've been thinking about it since—" He stopped himself, laughing. "Never mind."
You let him brush his lips against yours again—softer this time, a brief warm press—and over his shoulder you scanned the bar, the booths, the far end where Lane had been standing. The spot was empty. The brunette was gone. Lane was gone. Just an empty stretch of bar top with two abandoned glasses and a cocktail napkin.
The next week had been a masterclass in mixed signals—texting Arber just enough to keep him warm, leaving him on read just long enough to keep him at arm's length, a careful calibration of attention and absence that you were beginning to suspect made you a terrible person. He'd send you a reel at noon and you'd heart it instantly, and then he'd follow up with miss u at nine and you wouldn't respond until the next morning, something casual like miss u too, been crazy at work, and the cycle would repeat. He never pushed. He never got annoyed. He just kept showing up in your phone with his easy confidence and his lowercase texts and the implicit promise of tickets to a game you hadn't asked for but couldn't bring yourself to refuse, because somewhere in the reptilian back-brain of your decision-making you'd convinced yourself that going would serve a purpose. You'd see Lane. Lane would see you. Something would crack open. Something would resolve.
The road trip had been a long one—five games in eight days, a swing through the Metro division that you'd tracked obsessively through highlights and box scores like a person who definitely wasn't spiraling. They'd gone 3-2. Lane had four assists. You knew this because you'd watched every single one of his points on the NHL app, paused and replayed the ones where his face was visible, searching for—you didn't even know what. Some sign. Some flicker of the boy who'd cried on a terrace and told you he'd been in love with you since Boston. What you got instead was the professional version: helmet on, jaw set, the efficient focused machine he became on the ice, indistinguishable from any other player once the visor was down. You couldn't see his eyes. You couldn't see his expression. He was just number 48, moving through the neutral zone, and you were just a person watching a screen with a hollow ache in her chest.
Arber's tickets were waiting at will-call, just like he'd promised—lower bowl, fourteen rows up, close enough to see the players' faces when they circled the net during warmups. The arena was electric in the way Montreal always was, the Bell Center vibrating with twenty-one thousand voices and the particular manic energy of a Saturday night game against Toronto. You found your seat between a guy in a Guy Lafleur jersey who'd already spilled beer on his own shoe and two women in matching Price sweaters who were taking selfies with the ice behind them, and you settled in, your hands wrapped around a seven-dollar beer, your eyes already scanning the ice as the team came out for warmups.
They were beautiful to watch in person—the speed was the thing that never translated to TV, how impossibly fast these men moved on blades on a frozen surface, the sharp hiss and crack of edges cutting ice audible even over the crowd noise. You found Lane almost immediately, the way you always did, the way your eyes had apparently been trained to locate him in a crowd of bodies since before you understood why. He was on the far side of the rink, stickhandling with that smooth effortless stride, his jersey hanging loose on his shoulders. He looked focused. He looked fine. He looked like someone who was not thinking about you at all.
Arber found you from the ice during warmups—you felt his gaze before you saw it, that confident weighted look, and when you glanced down toward the home bench he was right there, looking up into the stands, and his face broke into a grin when he spotted you. He tapped his stick on the ice twice and pointed at you with his glove, a gesture so public and uncomplicated it made something twist in your gut, and you waved back, smiling, performing, your arm moving in a lazy arc while your eyes were already sliding past him to the far side of the rink where Lane was taking a slap shot into the empty net, his body coiling and releasing with that fluid efficient grace, his face revealing nothing.
The game itself was a thriller—fast, chippy, the kind of back-and-forth affair that kept the crowd on its feet. The Habs scored first, a power play goal from Caufield that sent the building into hysterics, and Toronto answered back twice before the end of the second period, each Leafs goal landing like a personal insult to the collective pride of everyone in the lower bowl. You cheered at the right moments, groaned at the penalties, jumped to your feet when Nick Suzuki tied it with eight minutes left, and through all of it you watched Lane. He played well—crisp passes, smart positioning, that uncanny ability to read the play before it developed that had made him a standout at BU and followed him to the show—but he never looked up. Not at you, not at your section, not at the stands at all. He played his game and skated his shifts and sat on the bench between them with his head bowed, his glove off, his fingers flexing around his stick, and you might as well have been a ghost in the stands for all the acknowledgment he gave the audience.
Arber, by contrast, looked at you constantly. Every time he came off the ice for a shift change, his eyes would find you in the lower bowl—quick, flicking, proprietary—and once, after a big hit along the boards that drew a roar from the crowd, he skated past the bench and tapped his chest with his glove and pointed at you, and the two women in the Price jerseys beside you elbowed each other and giggled and one of them leaned over and said "is that your boyfriend?" and you said "no" and meant it.
The Habs won 4-3 in overtime, a Lane Hutson slap pass deflected into the roof of the net by Juraj Slafkovský, and the arena detonated. You were on your feet with everyone else, screaming, your hands cupped around your mouth, watching the pile of bodies on the ice celebrate, and for three seconds, just three, you let yourself feel it. Pride. Joy. That specific warmth of watching someone you'd loved since they were twenty years old succeed on the biggest stage, the glow of it spreading through your chest like spilled honey. Lane was buried somewhere in the pile, his teammates jumping on him, his stick abandoned on the ice, and even though you couldn't see his face you could picture it— that full unguarded grin, the crinkled eyes, the way he looked when he was genuinely, uncomplicatedly happy—and the image was so vivid and so painful that you sat back down and pressed your palms flat against your thighs and breathed through the ache until it dulled.
After the game you lingered. You told yourself it was because the parking garage would be a nightmare if you left with the crowd, but really you were standing in the concourse near the players' exit, your jacket zipped to your chin, watching the stream of arena staff and VIP pass-holders and the occasional player's family member filter through the security checkpoint. You could see the hallway beyond the barrier—part of the team's private corridor, industrial and fluorescent-lit, the doors to the locker room just visible at the far end. Players came and went in suits and beanies, their faces flushed and loose with post-win energy. Cole passed with his girlfriend, laughing about something. Nick walked out with his arm around his wife's shoulders, nodding at the security guard. Arber came out in a gray suit with the jacket unbuttoned and his tie loose, scrolling his phone, and you stepped back behind a concrete pillar before he could see you, your heart hammering.
Lane came out last. Or near last—alone, anyway, his suit jacket buttoned but his collar open, no tie, his hair still damp from the shower and pushed back from his forehead. He was looking at his phone, his thumb moving across the screen, his expression unreadable—neutral, closed, that new mask he'd apparently perfected. He walked with his head down, his long stride eating up the hallway, and you stood behind your pillar and watched him pass fifteen feet away without looking up, without slowing, without any indication that he knew you were there. The security guard held the door for him and he murmured something—thanks—and disappeared through it, and the door swung shut behind him with a soft hydraulic hiss.
You could go after him. The thought was there, fully formed, pulsing in the front of your brain—you could walk through that door, flash whatever credentials you had, catch him in the parking lot, say the thing you'd come here to say. The words were ready. They'd been ready for days, rehearsed in the shower, in the car, in bed at three in the morning when the ceiling was dark and the silence was loud. I'm sorry. I was scared. I love you too. I think I've loved you since Boston too. Simple words. True words. You could feel them sitting in your throat like a physical weight, ready to be expelled, and all you had to do was walk through the door.
You didn't walk through the door. You turned around, shoved your hands into your jacket pockets, and walked the long way around the concourse to the east parking garage, your footsteps echoing against the emptying concrete. The arena was still humming behind you—muffled music, the clatter of cleanup crews, the distant shouts of fans spilling onto the street—but the further you walked the quieter it got, the fluorescent lights giving way to the cold blue glow of the garage stairwell, and by the time you pushed through the heavy door into the open air the night was silent and dark and freezing.
The walk from the garage to your car was short—two blocks down a side street that ran parallel to the arena's service road, lined with chain-link fences and dumpsters and the backs of commercial buildings. The streetlights were sparse here, casting pools of yellow that didn't quite connect, leaving stretches of shadow between them where the dark felt thick and physical. You walked fast, your keys threaded between your fingers, your breath coming out in white clouds, your shoes clicking against the pavement with a sound that seemed too loud in the quiet. You were three-quarters of the way to your car when you heard the voices behind you.
"Hey! Hey, sweetheart!"
Two guys. You didn't turn around, your shoulders tightening, your grip on your keys tightening until the metal bit into your palm. Footsteps, uneven, the scuff of heavy boots on pavement, and laughter—the loose uninhibited kind that came from drinking, the kind that could be harmless and could be the opposite of harmless and you had no way of telling from the sound alone.
"Where you going so fast? Come have a drink with us!"
"Don't be rude, baby, we're talking to you!"
Closer now. You could see your car ahead, thirty feet, twenty-five, and you walked faster, not running, not yet, because running felt like an admission of something and you were trying to convince yourself this was fine, this was just two drunk guys being obnoxious, this happened all the time, you were fine. Your hand was shaking around your keys. Your pulse was thudding in your ears. Twenty feet. Fifteen.
"Yo, I said hey." A hand grabbed your elbow—not hard, not painful, but the contact sent electricity through you like a cattle prod, your body locking up, your feet stuttering to a halt. You turned and there were two of them, big, red-faced, Leafs jerseys, the stink of beer rolling off them in waves, one of them still gripping your arm while the other boxed you in from the side, his body angling across the sidewalk so you couldn't move forward. The one holding your arm was smiling—loose, sloppy, his eyes dragging down your body in a way that made your skin crawl—and he leaned in, close enough that you could smell the whiskey on his breath, and said "there she is, what's the rush, huh?"
"Let go of me." Your voice came out thin, reedy, nothing like the voice you wanted it to be, and the guy's smile widened, his grip tightening on your arm.
"Relax, we're just being friendly—"
"Hey." The voice came from behind them, from the dark, and it cut through the street noise like a blade—sharp, low, vibrating with something that made both guys turn. Lane stepped out of the shadow of a doorway thirty feet back, still in his suit, his hands at his sides, his posture deceptively loose. His jaw was set, his eyes flat and cold and fixed on the hand gripping your arm, and his voice, when he spoke again, was so controlled it was almost eerie. "Get your hand off her."
The guy holding your arm looked at Lane, looked at his size—younger, leaner, not exactly intimidating in a tailored suit—and laughed, a dismissive sound. "Relax, buddy, we're just talking to—"
"I said get your hand off her." Lane moved forward, not fast, not slow, just a steady deliberate approach, and something in his bearing had shifted entirely, every trace of the nervous stammering boy replaced by something coiled and certain and dangerous. He stopped six feet away, his eyes locked on the guy's face, and his voice dropped to something that wasn't a shout but carried more weight than one. "You've got about three seconds to step back before I call building security and have you both arrested for harassment on arena property. There are cameras on every corner of this block. You want to explain to the cops why you're grabbing women outside a hockey arena at eleven o'clock at night?"
Silence. The guy's grip loosened on your arm—not releasing, but loosening, uncertainty flickering across his drunk face as he looked from Lane to his friend and back. His buddy had stepped back already, his hands raised, the drunk bravado evaporating.
"Lane, it's fine," you started, your voice shaking, and he held up a hand without looking at you, his eyes still fixed on the guy.
"It's not fine." Flat. Final. "Let go of her. Now."
The guy let go. He stepped back, his hands raised in a mock-surrender, a nasty smile still clinging to his face like he was trying to salvage the situation. "Whatever, man. Wasn't hurting nobody. Relax."
Lane didn't relax. He stood there, perfectly still, watching them until they turned and walked away, their footsteps fading down the block, their voices fading with them, and then the tension drain out of his shoulders. He exhaled, a long shaky breath that clouded white in the cold air, and his hands, hanging at his sides, were trembling.
He turned to you, finally, and the look on his face was worse than the cold, worse than the guys, worse than anything that had happened in the last two weeks. It was polite. That was the devastating part—his expression was arranged into something careful and civil, the kind of neutral courtesy you'd give a stranger holding a door, and his blue eyes met yours for exactly two seconds before sliding away to a point somewhere over your left shoulder. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah." Your voice came out scraped raw, still shaking with adrenaline, and you swallowed hard. "Lane, how did you—were you following—"
"Are you okay?" he repeated, same flat tone, same careful courtesy, and you realized he wasn't going to answer your question. He wasn't going to give you anything. He was standing four feet away from you in his suit with his jaw tight and his hands still trembling at his sides and he was looking at you like you were someone he used to know.
"I'm okay. They just—they grabbed my arm, I'm—"
"Good." He nodded once, a short mechanical dip of his chin. "I'll walk you to your car."
He fell into step beside you without waiting for a response, his hands shoved into his trouser pockets, his long stride shortened to match yours, and the silence that settled between you was suffocating. Not comfortable, not the easy quiet you'd shared a hundred times walking back from class or the grocery store or late-night diners at BU. This was the silence of two people occupying the same sidewalk who had nothing to say to each other—or rather, who had too much to say and no permission to say it. You could hear his breathing, steady and controlled, and the soft click of his dress shoes on the pavement, and the distant wail of a siren somewhere across the city, and the absence of his voice was so loud it made your ears ring.
You wanted to fill it. You wanted to say something—anything—wanted to tell him about the dreams, about the hollow ache that had taken up permanent residence behind your sternum, about the kiss with Arber and how it had felt like touching a mannequin, about how you'd come here tonight not for the game but for him, always for him, everything always for him. But the words were stuck somewhere behind the lump in your throat, tangled and knotted, and every time you opened your mouth the silence from him was so total and so final that the words died before they formed.
Your car was ahead,sitting alone under a flickering streetlight, and Lane walked you right up to the driver's side door and stopped. He pulled his hands from his pockets, flexed his fingers once—still trembling, you noticed, a fine shake that he couldn't quite suppress—and stepped back, giving you space. "Get home safe," he said, his voice flat and quiet and completely, devastatingly empty. He was already turning away, his body pivoting on his heel, his face angling toward the dark street behind him.
His jacket was still within reach. The dark wool of his lapel, the crisp line of his shoulder, the fabric shifting as he moved away from you, and your hand moved before your brain could stop it. Your fingers closed around the back of his jacket—grabbing, fisting, pulling—and the fabric bunched in your grip as you dragged him back toward you with a force that surprised you both. He stumbled half a step, his balance broken, his shoulder blade pressing against your palm through the wool, and he went rigid under your touch, every muscle locking.
"Lane." His name came out wrecked—barely a voice at all, more of a sound, something broken and wet and shaking apart at the seams. Your eyes were burning, your vision blurring, and you could feel the tears gathering at your lashes, threatening to spill. Your fingers tightened in his jacket, twisting the fabric, anchoring yourself to him like he was the only solid thing in a world that had gone liquid. "Lane, please."
"What." The word came out clipped and hard, a stone dropped on the pavement between you, and his shoulders stayed rigid under your hand, his back still turned, his face angled away. He didn't turn around. He didn't soften. The word just hung there, flat and cold and impatient, like you were keeping him from something more important.
"I miss you." Your voice cracked on the second word and the tears spilled over, hot and fast, tracking down your cheeks in the freezing air. You were crying—you were standing in a parking lot crying and holding onto the back of his jacket like a child and you didn't care, you didn't care how it looked, you didn't care about dignity. "I miss you so much, Lane, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I should have said—it on the terrace, I should have—"
"You should have." A scoff—quiet, exhale-short, not cruel but not kind either, just the sound of someone hearing something they'd waited too long to hear. He turned his head, just slightly, just enough that you could see the edge of his profile—the line of his jaw, the tip of his nose gone pink from the cold, the corner of his mouth pulled into something that wasn't a smile. "Which part are you sorry for? The part where you told me I didn't love you, or the part where you let me pour my heart out on a freezing terrace and then said nothing?"
"I was scared—"
"Of what?" He turned now, finally, fully, and his face was so carefully composed it looked like it had been assembled from the outside in—each expression placed deliberately, nothing real showing through, a mask so polished it reflected the streetlight. His blue eyes found yours and there was nothing in them. Just flatness. A closed door where a door used to be open. "What were you scared of? Because I've been trying to figure it out for two weeks and I can't. You weren't scared of the sex. You weren't scared of me. You had me in your bed, you had your hands on me, you were calling me baby and telling me it was okay, and then I told you how I felt and you—" He stopped. Exhaled through his nose, slow and controlled, his jaw working beneath the skin. "You told me it was chemicals. You told me I didn't know what I was feeling. Like I was some dumb kid who couldn't tell the difference between getting laid and being in love."
"Lane, I didn't mean—"
"You meant it. You meant every word." Still devastating in its absence of heat, because anger you could work with, anger you could meet with anger, but this—this careful, measured nothing—was like trying to fight a wall. "And then you kissed Arber. In front of me. In front of the whole team."
"Well, you kissed that girl," you shot back, your voice wet and shaking and desperate, the words tearing out of you before you could stop them. Your grip on his jacket tightened, your knuckles white against the dark wool. "You were all over her at the bar, you were—"
"Yeah." He laughed—a short, brittle, humorless sound that died before it reached his eyes. "Yeah, I was. You know what happened after? She took me home. She got her hands on me, she was—it was fine, she was nice, she was right there, and I freaked the fuck out." His voice cracked on the last word, the flatness fracturing for the first time, something raw and ugly bleeding through the cracks. His jaw clenched so hard you could see the muscle jumping, his eyes bright and wet under the flickering streetlight. "I couldn't do it. I couldn't touch her. She had her hand in my pants and I was just—nothing. Frozen. Like my body knew it wasn't right because it wasn't you."
He stepped closer, not gently, not tenderly, but with a desperate almost aggressive urgency that made you stumble back half a step until your hip hit the car door. His eyes were on yours now, really on yours, and the flatness was gone—replaced by something furious and devastated and so deeply, irreparably broken that it made your lungs seize. "Do you get that? Do you understand what that's like? I can't—I can't even think about another person without comparing them to you. Nobody smells like you, nobody laughs like you, nobody soothes in that stupid voice and makes me feel like I'm—like I'm—" He dragged both hands through his hair, gripping at the strands, his chest heaving, and when he dropped his hands his palms were shaking. "Nothing compares to you. Nothing. And it's fucking tearing me to shreds, it's been tearing me to shreds for three years, and you're so goddamn scared to feel anything that you just—you push me away. You tell me I don't know what love is. You kiss my teammate to prove some kind of point."
"That's not why I—"
"Then why?" His voice broke completely, splitting open down the middle, and the sound that came out was raw and wounded and so Lane, that it felt like a fist closing around your throat. His eyes were red-rimmed now, his nose flushed dark pink, his lower lip caught between his teeth, and he was looking at you with an expression that held nothing back, just the full devastating weight of three years of unrequited love written across his face in the cold dark of a parking lot. "Why did you kiss him? Tell me. Tell me it wasn't because you saw me with her and wanted to hurt me. Tell me it meant something. Tell me anything, because I've been going out of my mind trying to understand how the girl who held my face and told me I was good could stand there and watch me fall apart and then kiss someone else like I was—like I was nothing."
"Because I love you." The words ripped out of you like something torn from the root—raw, ugly, too big for your throat, and you felt your face crumple as the tears came harder, faster, streaking hot down your freezing cheeks. Your hand was still fisted in his jacket, the fabric twisted so tight your fingers ached, and you pulled at it like you could hold him there through sheer force, like if you let go he'd disappear into the dark and take your whole world with him. "I love you, Lane. I've been in love with you since Boston and I was too scared to see it and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.”
His face changed. Crumpled, the composure collapsing inward like a condemned building, his jaw going slack, his chin dipping, his eyes squeezing shut as he fought the wave of something that looked like it might drown him. His lips pressed together hard, that tight trembling line, and you could see him biting the inside of his cheek, could see the muscles in his throat working as he swallowed again and again, fighting the tears back by force. His nostrils flared with each controlled breath, his chest hitching once, twice, and when his eyes opened they were glassy and wet and red-rimmed and so beautiful it physically hurt to look at him.
"Do you?" Quiet. He reached up and closed his hand around yours—the one still gripping his jacket—and peeled your fingers off, one by one, gently, so gently, his thumb brushing across your knuckles as he freed the fabric from your grip. He held your hand for one second, his fingers wrapped around yours, his pulse hammering against your palm, and then he let go. "I don't think you do."
He turned. He walked away. Down the sidewalk, past the flickering streetlight, his dress shoes clicking against the pavement in a steady even rhythm that didn't falter, his shoulders straight, his hands in his pockets, his silhouette growing smaller and darker with every step until the shadows between the streetlights swallowed him whole and there was nothing left but the sound of his footsteps fading and then nothing at all.
It was past midnight on a Wednesday when you knocked on his door, and you'd been standing in the hallway for four minutes before you actually did it—four minutes of pacing back and forth in front of his apartment,, your sneakers squeaking against the linoleum, your hands shoved into the pockets of the hoodie you'd thrown on paired pajama pants because you hadn't been thinking about what you looked like, you'd only been thinking about getting here. The fluorescent light above you buzzed and flickered in a way that would've been annoying if you'd had the bandwidth to care about anything other than the door in front of you and what you were going to say when it opened.
You knocked before you could talk yourself out of it. Three knocks, quick and firm, and then you stepped back and wrapped your arms around yourself and waited. For a long moment nothing happened—no footsteps, no rustling, no sound from behind the door—and a sick wave of dread rolled through your stomach, because what if he wasn't home, what if you'd driven forty minutes across the city in your pajama pants for nothing. You were turning to leave when you heard the deadbolt click.
Lane opened the door, and the sight of him nearly buckled your knees. He was barefoot, wearing gray sweatpants that hung low on his hips and a faded t-shirt that was so old the lettering had cracked into a web of pale lines. His hair was a disaster—flat on one side, sticking up on the other, the clear evidence of someone who'd been asleep on the couch or in bed with his face mashed into a pillow. His eyes were squinted half-shut against the hallway light, puffy with sleep, that soft disoriented look of someone dragged out of unconsciousness by an unexpected sound, and his cheeks were creased with the faint pink imprint of a pillowcase. He looked warm. He looked soft. He looked like every dream you'd had for the last two weeks, and you had to physically clamp your jaw to keep your face from falling apart.
He blinked at you. Once, twice, his brow furrowing as his sleep-fogged brain tried to process what was happening—who was standing in his doorway, why, what time it was—and then his expression closed. Not flat, not the parking-lot mask. Just careful, guarded, his lips pressing together in that familiar tight line, his hand still on the doorframe, his body angled like he was ready to close the door at any second. He didn't say anything. He just looked at you, waiting, and the silence was so heavy you could feel it pressing against your eardrums.
"Do you remember—" Your voice came out thin and reedy and nothing like you'd rehearsed, nothing like the confident version of this speech you'd delivered to your steering wheel on the drive over. You swallowed, tried again. "Do you remember sophomore year, the night before your first game of the season? When you couldn't sleep because you said it felt weird, playing actual minutes, and I came over at like two in the morning and you'd rearranged your entire dorm room?"
Something shifted in his face—a flicker, barely there, like a candle guttering in a draft. His jaw loosened a fraction. His hand on the doorframe went slack. He didn't respond, but he didn't close the door, so you kept going, the words coming faster now, tumbling out of you in a rush like water through a crack in a dam.
"And you'd moved your desk against the wall and your bed was in the middle of the room and you'd put your stick across two chairs like a barrier, and I asked you what the stick was for, and you said—" A wet laugh escaped you, shaky and raw. "You said it was the blue line. You said if you stared at it long enough you'd stop feeling weird about crossing it. And I sat on your bed and you laid down with your head in my lap and I played with your hair until you fell asleep, and when I tried to leave at four in the morning you grabbed my sleeve and said don't go yet, please, and I didn't. I stayed. I stayed until your alarm went off and you went to morning skate and I went home and changed and came back for the game."
Lane's hand had dropped from the doorframe. His arms were crossed now, loosely, over his chest, and he was leaning against the doorjamb with his head tilted slightly, his expression unreadable but his eyes—those pale, sleep-puffy, red-rimmed blue eyes—fixed on your face with an intensity that made your throat close up. He was listening. He was actually listening, and the crack in the dam was widening, more words pouring through, faster and messier and less coherent.
"You scored that game. Two assists and a goal, and after the game you texted me we did it—not I did it, we. And I was sitting in my dorm in my pajamas eating cold pizza and I read that text and I felt so—" Your voice broke and you pressed the heel of your hand against your eye, smearing tears you hadn't realized were falling. "I felt so proud of you. I felt so full, Lane, like my chest was going to split open, and I didn't understand why. I didn't understand that that was love. I didn't understand that every single time you grabbed my sleeve and said don't go yet you were asking me to stay in a way that had nothing to do with the physical act of remaining in a room, and I was too stupid and too scared to hear it."
The hallway light buzzed. Somewhere below, a door slammed. Lane's bare foot shifted on the hardwood, a tiny movement, his toes curling against the cold floor, and his arms uncrossed slowly, his hands finding the doorframe again—not gripping this time, just resting, his fingertips pressed white against the wood.
"I hear it now," you whispered. "I hear every single time you said it. Don't go yet. Stay. Please. And I didn't, Lane—I left. I left your apartment at three in the morning after you told me you loved me and I walked out the door and I've been regretting it every single second since."
The silence that followed was the loudest sound you'd ever heard. It pressed against the walls of the hallway, filled the space between your bodies, turned the buzzing fluorescent light into a roar. Lane hadn't moved—his fingertips still white on the doorframe, his chest rising and falling in slow controlled breaths, his face turned toward you but his eyes fixed somewhere around your collarbone, like he couldn't quite bring himself to look at you directly. His jaw was working, the muscle flexing beneath the skin, and you could see the effort it was taking him to hold himself together—the tight pull of his shoulders, the rigid line of his spine, the way his bare toes were curled so hard against the hardwood they'd gone white.
He was quiet for so long you thought he was going to close the door. You braced for it—the click of the latch, the blank wood, the end of everything—and your fingers curled into fists at your sides, your nails biting half-moons into your palms. Your tears had slowed but your face was still wet, still hot, still stinging in the stale hallway air, and you stood there in your pajama pants and your stolen hoodie and waited for the rejection you deserved.
"When you left," he said, and his voice was so quiet you almost missed it, rough and scraped and thick with sleep and something that sounded like it had been carried a long distance. "That night. After we—" He swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "After everything. I laid in bed and I could smell you on my pillow and I thought, okay, she just needs time. She just needs to process. She'll text me in the morning and we'll get coffee and she'll say something, anything, and we'll figure it out." His eyes lifted to yours, finally, and the rawness in them made your knees go weak. "And then the morning came. And then the afternoon. And then it was night again and my pillow still smelled like you and my phone was empty and I realized you weren't processing. You were leaving."
"Lane—"
"I counted the hours." He said it like a confession, like something he'd been holding in his chest that had been rotting there. "I'm not—I know that's insane. I know that's not normal. But I laid there and I counted them. Twelve hours. Twenty-four. Thirty-six. And by hour forty-eight I stopped counting because I realized you weren't coming back, not really, and I had to—" He broke off, pressed the heel of his hand against his eye, his jaw clenching. When he dropped his hand his lashes were wet, clumped together, and his nose had gone that dark flushed pink that meant he was fighting tears. "I had to get up and go to practice and pretend I was fine. I had to sit in the locker room and listen to the guys talk about the gala and smile and say yeah, it’s going to be fun and not tell anyone that the girl I'd been in love with for three years had just walked out of my apartment like I was—like I was a mistake she needed to get away from."
"You weren't a mistake." The words came out fierce, desperate, shaking. "You were never a mistake, Lane, not one second of it—"
"Then what were you so scared of?" Not angry, but genuinely asking, his voice cracking around the question like it was something he'd been turning over in his head for weeks without finding an answer. His hands had dropped from the doorframe and were hanging at his sides now, open, empty, and he looked at you with an expression so open and so tired and so completely undefended that it was like looking at the inside of someone's chest cavity. "Because I've been trying to understand it and I can't. You weren't scared of me. You were happy—I could feel that you were happy—and then I told you I loved you and you just."
He didn't finish the sentence. He didn't have to.
"I was scared of loving you," you said, and the words were so simple and so inadequate and so true that they sounded stupid out loud, reductive, like summarizing a symphony as some notes in a row. "I was scared of how much I loved you. I was scared that if I let myself feel it, really feel it, and then you left—or you changed your mind, or you met someone else, or you woke up one day and realized I wasn't—then I would lose you and I would lose the feeling and I would never get either of them back. And I thought—" A hiccupping breath, wet and ugly. "I thought if I didn't say it, if I didn't name it, it couldn't be taken away. Like not saying it out loud meant it wasn't real and therefore couldn't be destroyed."
Lane stared at you. His chest rose and fell, rose and fell, and a tear slipped free from his lash line, tracking a slow path down his cheek, catching in the corner of his mouth. He didn't wipe it. He just let it fall, his lips parted, his brows drawn together in that soft devastated furrow, and you could see him processing—turning your words over, examining them, holding them up to the light of three years of evidence and trying to determine if they were real.
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," he whispered, and his voice was wet and cracking and almos tinged with something that might have been the ghost of a laugh. "You were so scared of losing me that you lost me."
"Yeah." A sob tore out of you, sharp and graceless. "Yeah, that's—I know. I know how stupid it is. I know."
Another silence, shorter this time, charged and trembling. Lane shifted on the hardwood again, his weight rocking forward half an inch, and his hand came up to the doorframe—not gripping it this time but resting against it, his fingertips light, his arm extended between you like a bridge half-built. His eyes were moving across your face, tracing your features the way he had at the coffee shop, at the gala, in bed—slow, intent, memorizing—and the expression behind the exhaustion and the hurt and the careful guarded hope was so achingly familiar that it made your vision blur again.
"You drove here in your pajamas," he said quietly.
"I drove here in your pajamas," you corrected, and you both looked down at the hoodie—the faded BU hoodie you'd stolen so long ago it had probably stopped being his and started being yours, the cracked lettering across the chest, the stretched collar, the years of wear baked into the fabric. His eyes lingered on it, and something in his face crumpled, the last wall giving way, his chin trembling, his eyes filling fast.
He stepped back from the doorframe. One step, two, leaving the door open behind him, the apartment warm and dark and glowing with the blue light of a TV left on mute. He didn't say come in. He didn't say anything. He just stood there in the warm light of his apartment in his bare feet and his old t-shirt with his eyes wet and his mouth shaking and he looked at you like you were the answer to a question he'd been asking for three years, and then he opened his arms.
You crossed the threshold and he caught you—arms closing around you so tight it knocked the air from your lungs, his hands fisting the back of the hoodie, your hoodie, his hoodie, pulling you into him with a desperation that felt like drowning. His face buried in your neck and yours in his shoulder and you could feel him shaking, feel the sobs he was fighting, feel the heat of his tears against your skin where his mouth pressed into the curve of your throat. You grabbed fistfuls of his t-shirt and pulled him closer, closer, impossibly closer, like if you could just get enough pressure you'd fuse together and never have to be separate again.
"I'm sorry," you gasped into his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm—"
"Shut up." Muffled against your neck, cracked and wet and so tender it broke something open in your chest. "Just—shut up, don't apologize anymore, just—"
He pulled back and kissed you. Not the sweet, clumsy, earnest kiss from that first night in his bed—this was three years of silence and weeks of anguish and a lifetime of wanting compressed into the press of his mouth against yours, hungry and desperate and tasting like salt tears. His hands came up to your face, palms flat against your cheeks, thumbs swiping across your cheekbones, wiping tears you were both crying, and he kissed you like he was trying to pour himself into you, like he was trying to make sure you understood the magnitude of what he'd been carrying, like every press and part and slide of his lips was a sentence in a language he'd been speaking fluently for years while you were still learning the alphabet.
You kissed him back just as hard, your fingers in his hair, your nails scratching at his scalp, pulling him deeper, and he groaned into your mouth—a raw, unguarded sound that vibrated through your teeth—and his hands dropped from your face to your waist, gripping hard, walking you backward through the dark apartment. You stumbled over something—a shoe, a gym bag—and his arm snaked around your lower back to steady you, pulling you flush against him, and you could feel him already, half-hard against your hip through the thin cotton of his sweatpants, his body responding to yours the way it always did, immediate and helpless and total.
Your back hit the kitchen counter and you gasped into his mouth, the edge digging into your spine, and he pulled back just enough to look at you. His face was wrecked—flushed, tear-streaked, his lips swollen and wet, his blue eyes almost black in the dim blue light of the living room, and he was looking at you with an expression that contained everything, every version of himself he'd ever been around you—the nervous boy at the bar, the trembling virgin in his bed, the crying mess on the terrace, the closed-off stranger in the parking lot—all of them layered on top of each other, all of them yours.
"Tell me you love me again," he whispered, his forehead pressed against yours, his breath hot and unsteady on your wet lips.
"I love you."
"Again."
"I love you, Lane. I love you, I love you—"
He kissed you again, swallowing the words, his hands sliding down to the backs of your thighs, and he lifted you like you weighed nothing—onto the counter, your legs wrapping around his waist on instinct, your heels hooking behind his thighs. The countertop was cold through the thin fabric of your pajama pants and you broke the kiss with a hiss and he laughed—this wet, disbelieving, beautiful sound that came out of him like something uncaged—and pressed his face into your neck again, inhaling deep, his nose dragging along your skin the way it had that night at the fire, greedy and desperate and so full of want it made your ribs ache.
"I used to fall asleep on your couch," you breathed into his hair, your fingers curling into the damp strands at his nape. "And you'd cover me with a blanket and I'd pretend to be asleep because I didn't want you to stop touching my hair."
A sound escaped him—half sob, half groan—and his hips pressed forward, his cock fully hard now, straining against his sweatpants, grinding against you through the layers of fabric. "I knew," he rasped against your throat, his lips dragging across your pulse point. "I always knew you were awake. I just—I kept doing it because I thought maybe one day you'd open your eyes and—"
"And see you," you finished, your voice breaking, and he pulled back and looked at you and his face was so open and so raw and so full of something that had been growing in the dark for three years that you couldn't breathe. "I see you, Lane. I'm looking right at you."
He kissed you again—shorter this time, fierce, his teeth catching your lower lip—and his hands found the waistband of your pajama pants, tugging, and you lifted your hips and let him pull them down, the fabric bunching at your thighs, your underwear following, the cool air hitting the wet heat between your legs and making you shiver. He shoved his sweatpants down just far enough—impatient, graceless, his hands shaking—and then he was there, the hard hot length of him pressing against your entrance, and he paused, his forehead against yours, his breath coming in ragged gasps.
"I never stopped wanting you," he said, barely a whisper, his voice cracked and raw. "Not for one second. Even when I was angry. Even when I was trying to forget you. I couldn't—nothing worked, I couldn't—" A tear slipped down his cheek and rolled to the corner of his mouth and you caught it with your thumb, cupping his jaw, and he turned into your palm and pressed a kiss there, his lips trembling. "I'd try to jerk off and I'd end up just—thinking about your laugh. Your stupid laugh. The way you snort when something actually catches you off guard."
You laughed—a wet, ugly, snotty laugh that proved his point—and he groaned and pushed into you in one long, deep, aching slide, and the sound that came out of both of you was identical, this shared gasping moan that harmonized in the dark kitchen. He filled you slowly, inch by inch, his forehead dropping to your shoulder, his whole body trembling, and you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in—pulled him so close there was no space, no air, no gap between your body and his—and he bottomed out and stayed there, buried to the hilt, his cock pulsing inside you in rapid desperate throbs that matched his heartbeat.
"Oh god," he breathed against your collar, his voice wrecked. "Oh god, I missed you, I missed this, I missed—"
"I know. I know, baby, I'm right here."
"Don't leave." The words came out muffled against your skin, desperate, cracking, and his arms tightened around your waist until his fists were pressed white-knuckled against the small of your back. He started to move—not the slow tentative rhythm of that first night but something deeper, harder, each thrust deliberate and grinding, his hips rolling into yours with a purpose that made your vision blur. The counter rattled, a mug somewhere behind you clinking against the backsplash, and the sounds—wet, slick, skin on skin, his ragged breathing and your stuttered moans and the soft repetitive thud of his hips meeting yours—filled the dark apartment like music.
"I used to watch you across the room at parties," you gasped, your nails digging into his shoulders through the thin cotton of his shirt, your heels locked behind his thighs, pulling him deeper with every thrust. "I'd watch you talk to other girls and I'd feel this—this horrible thing in my chest, and I didn't know what it was, I thought I was just being protective, I thought—"
"You were jealous." He said it against your jaw, his lips dragging across the skin with each word, his hips never stopping, that steady devastating grind that was hitting something inside you that made your thighs shake. "You were jealous and you didn't even know it because you were so—fuck—so busy pretending we were just friends—"
"We were never just friends." The words tore out of you on a moan as he thrust deeper, angling your hips, finding that spot that made white spark behind your eyelids. "Lane, we were never—we were always—"
"I know." A sob, muffled against your neck, his rhythm faltering as his body seized with it. "I know, I always knew, I was just waiting for you to—ah—waiting for you to catch up—"
His hand found your face again, cupping your jaw, tilting your head down so he could look at you while he fucked you, and the eye contact was devastating—his eyes blown wide and wet and streaming, both of you crying and moving and clinging to each other on a kitchen counter in the middle of the night like the world was ending and this was the last lifeboat. His thumb brushed your cheekbone, wiping tears, and his mouth found yours again, sloppy and wet and tasting like salt, and he kissed you through a sob and you kissed him back through one of your own and neither of you stopped moving.
"I'm not gonna last," he gasped against your mouth, his hips stuttering, his rhythm gone ragged and desperate, his cock throbbing inside you so hard you could feel every pulse. "I can't—I'm too close, I've wanted this for too long, I—"
"It's okay." You pulled him impossibly closer, your arms locked around his neck, your face pressed to his. "Come on, baby. It's okay. I've got you."
"I love you," he choked out, and his whole body locked up—back arching, hips slamming forward, burying himself as deep as he could go—and you felt him break apart inside you, hot and pulsing and desperate, his cock jerking in rapid waves that flooded warm and full. The sound he made was not a moan, not a groan, but a sob—this cracked, wrenched, devastated sob that shook through his chest and into yours, his face crumpling, tears spilling, his mouth open against your neck in a silent scream that dissolved into your name, your actual name, spoken like a prayer he'd been holding in reserve for this exact moment.
You held him through it, your fingers in his hair, your legs locked around his waist, your own tears falling into the damp strands at his temple. His hips kept moving—slower now, involuntary, riding out the aftershocks in shallow twitching thrusts that made him whimper against your skin each time—and you could feel him softening inside you, feel the warmth of him slipping out, and you clenched around him on instinct and he shuddered so hard the counter rattled.
"Don't go," he mumbled into your neck, his voice nothing but a ruined whisper, his arms still locked around your waist, his full weight pressing you against the counter. "Don't go. Don't go. Don't go."
"I'm not going," you said into his hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his head, your lips against the damp strands. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."
EPILOGUE
Three months later, on a Tuesday morning in February, Lane Hutson was standing in his kitchen making eggs and singing along to a song you'd never heard, wearing nothing but a pair of plaid boxers and a hickey on his collarbone that you'd put there forty minutes ago. His hips swayed slightly as he scrambled the eggs, an unconscious rhythm that had nothing to do with the music and everything to do with the fact that he was, at his core, a person who moved through life like the world was a song only he could hear. The kitchen smelled like butter and coffee and the faint lingering ghost of sex, the specific cocktail of sweat and body heat and tangled sheets that had permeated every surface of this apartment since you'd officially moved in two weeks ago.
"You're staring at my ass," he said without turning around, and you could hear the smile in his voice, that smug little curve of his lips that he'd started deploying with increasing frequency now that he knew exactly what it did to you.
"I'm staring at your ass," you confirmed from the kitchen table, wrapped in his BU hoodie, but at this point, ownership having been long since transferred—and nothing else, your legs tucked under you, your hair a disaster, your thighs still aching from the morning's activities. Lane had discovered, with the single-minded intensity of a scholar uncovering a new research field, that he could make you cum with his mouth, and he'd been treating that discovery like a competitive sport ever since. He'd gone down on you twice this morning already—once lazily, half-asleep, his face between your thighs under the covers like it was the most natural place in the world for him to be, and once in the shower after, on his knees on the wet tile, water streaming down his flushed face, his blue eyes looking up at you with an expression of such focused devotion you'd had to grab the shower rod to stay upright.
He set a plate of eggs in front of you and kissed the top of your head, lingering there, his nose in your hair, breathing you in. He still did that—smelled you, constantly, like some kind of compulsion, burying his face in your neck when you were watching TV, pressing his nose into the crown of your head when he passed behind you in the hallway, inhaling the collar of your shirts when he hugged you. It should've been weird. It wasn't. It was so fundamentally Lane that it had become part of the architecture of your relationship, as essential as his hand on the small of your back, his thumb tracing circles on your hip, the way he tucked his cold feet under your legs in bed and then apologized even though you'd never asked him to stop.
"Practice at eleven," he said, sliding into the chair across from you with his own plate, his bare knees bumping yours under the small table. A forkful of eggs, a sip of coffee, and then those pale blue eyes were on you, doing the thing—the slow intent sweep that used to make your stomach flip and now made it flip for entirely different reasons, because you were allowed to look back now, allowed to match his intensity, allowed to reach across the table and cup his jaw and say you're so pretty and watch him dissolve into that pink-cheeked, wide-eyed, devastating smile that he still couldn't believe you meant. "I'll be home by four. Cole wants to get dinner but I told him maybe, because—"
"Because you want to have sex instead."
"I want to have sex and eat dinner. In that order. Possibly also during." He grinned, unrepentant, and stole a piece of toast off your plate. The insatiability hadn't dimmed—if anything it had intensified now that the emotional barrier between you had been demolished, now that every touch didn't carry the weight of unspoken feelings and the fear of crossing some invisible line. Lane fucked like he played hockey—focused, creative, with an endurance that bordered on superhuman and a willingness to try anything that made you wonder what exactly had been lurking in that head for three years of supposed innocence. He'd bent you over the back of the couch. He'd pressed you against the balcony window at two in the morning, his hand over your mouth, his hips snapping into you while the city slept below. He'd woken you up at five in the morning by sliding inside you from behind, his lips on your shoulder, his hand on your stomach, whispering sorry, sorry, I couldn't wait, I needed— like he was apologizing for something you'd never in a million years want him to apologize for.
But the sex wasn't the best part. That was the thing that kept catching you off guard, the realization that kept ambushing you in quiet moments—in the car, at the grocery store, during intermissions at games. The best part was this. Mornings. Eggs and coffee and his bare knees bumping yours under a table too big for two people, his hair uncombed, his voice still rough with sleep, stealing your toast and telling you about his day like it was the most interesting thing in the world because sharing it with you made it so.
The best part was the way he came home from practice and dropped his keys in the bowl and found you wherever you were—on the couch, in the kitchen, at your desk working—and just collapsed into you, his face in your neck, his arms around your waist, his whole body melting against yours with a sigh that sounded like a man stepping out of the cold. Missed you, he'd mumble into your skin, every single time, even if he'd been gone three hours, even if you'd texted throughout, even if he had a game that night and would see you across a crowded arena. He missed you. He always missed you. He said it like a fact, like gravity, like something that didn't require examination because it was simply true, and you'd learned to stop being afraid of the size of it and just let it hold you.
The Arber thing had resolved itself with a grace that you hadn't deserved. Arber had texted you three days after you made up with Lane, something casual—hey haven't heard from u, u good?—and you'd called him and told him the truth, all of it, the whole tangled mess, and he'd been quiet for a long moment on the other end of the line before saying, "Yeah. I kind of figured." He wasn't angry. He wasn't even hurt, or if he was, he buried it beneath that easy confident warmth that was just part of who he was. "He's been in love with you since I met him," Arber had said, and you could hear the smile in his voice, the real one, not a front. "Like, painfully. The whole team knew. We had a bet, actually. Slaf had money on you two getting together by New Year's." A pause. "I should've listened to Slaf."
He'd moved on fast, because Arber was Arber—charming, confident, the kind of guy who had a date by the weekend and a new situation by the next, not out of callousness but out of a genuine ease with the world that meant he never stayed down for long. He'd hugged you the next time you saw him at a team event, a real hug, warm and brief, and said "you look happy" into your hair, and when you said "you too" he'd grinned and said "always," and meant it, and that had been that. He and Lane were fine—teammates, friends, the whole thing folded into the past without resentment, because Arber understood something that had taken you three years to learn: you couldn't help who you loved, and the person you didn't love wasn't a failure, just a detour.
"I'm thinking pancakes on Saturday," Lane said, pulling you out of your thoughts. He was on his second cup of coffee now, his legs stretched out under the table, his bare foot hooked around your ankle under the table in that absent contact-seeking way he had, like he needed to be touching you at all times to confirm you were real. "There's that place, the one with the stupid name but the insane brioche. We could invite Nick and his wife. Double date." He said double date with a private little smile, like the concept still delighted him, like being able to call you his girlfriend in a social context was a novelty he hadn't gotten over and maybe never would.
"Double date," you repeated, grinning.
"Double date." He reached across the table and stole a bite of your eggs, his fork twirling the food with a casual intimacy that made your chest tight. "And then maybe after, we could—" His eyebrows waggled, ridiculous, and you threw your napkin at him and he caught it and laughed—that real laugh, the quiet one, the exhale, his eyes crinkling, his whole face going soft—and you thought, not for the first time and not for the last, that this was the thing you'd been most afraid of. Not losing him. Not the pain of a broken heart. This—this—the staggering, overwhelming, ordinary miracle of being loved completely by someone who saw all of you and stayed anyway, who wrote your coffee order down and smelled your hair and fucked you on kitchen counters while you both cried and then made you eggs in the morning like it was nothing, like it was everything, like every single day was a privilege he'd earned and intended to spend well.
"Lane."
"Yeah?"
"I love you."
His fork stopped halfway to his mouth. His eyes found yours—those big, pale, ridiculous blue eyes that had been looking at you like this since a party at BU three years ago—and his face did the thing where it couldn't decide between smiling and crying so it did both, his lips curving up while his lashes went wet, his cheeks flushing that warm rosy pink, his prominent ears going red at the tips. He set the fork down. He reached across the table. He took your hand, threaded his fingers through yours, squeezed once, and brought your knuckles to his mouth, pressing a kiss there that was so soft and so deliberate it felt like a promise renewed.
"I love you too," he said against your skin, and his voice was steady and sure and full, and the smile he gave you was the whole truth, and it was enough.
dean di laurentis x fem!reader with voyeur!allie hayes
𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: Allie only wanted to talk to Dean, and with an empty house like this she was not expecting the sight that greeted her.
𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬: 18+ mdni; smut!!; kinda rough sex?; voyeurism. duh.; reader is a freak and she knows dean is too; lemme know if I missed any!
𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐬: 2k
𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐲: hehehe... all i can say is i need both of them. NOW.
Allie knew she asked for this.
This ridiculous sex assignment that would prove that she and Dean are not in a relationship, and prove to Sean that she wasn't completely and irrevocably in love with you.
It should've been easy, really. Hang out with somebody, let go of inhibitions and completely lose herself in the body of another person. No strings—just hot incredible sex. Joanna Maxwell made it sound so easy, and at first, it was.
Hot guy with a fake I.D. flirts with her, she makes out with him. Then, she runs into him again outside of the bar. Complete coincidence. It was going smoothly when they arrived at his apartment; clothes were thrown off, hot mouths trailing kisses down each others throat to elevate each other's pleasure.
It started going wrong when he went to go down on her and he uttered a nickname that only you and Dean have ever called her: Princess.
After that, Allie couldn't hear anything but your voice ringing in her ears. Her need for you was so strong, it started to affect her vision too; she looked down at the guy but only saw your eyes looking up at her from between her legs. Your fingers dimpling her thighs, gripping them apart.
She squeezed her eyes shut at the sight in an effort to blink you away. But her efforts went nowhere when Carter's tongue prodded at her pussy and all she imagine was your tongue being responsible for the ministration.
The entire ordeal was torturous because the moment Carter rolled a condom on his cock and she looked up, the brunette was replaced by Dean.
She considered herself lucky when she was able to leave his apartment without screaming yours and Dean's names at the top of her lungs while coming, saving the small amount of dignity she had left when she hurriedly packed up her stuff, rushing to Hannah's showcase.
It was only until after she watched Dean almost break Hunter—who she found out was the "Carter" at the bar—did she finally decide to confront the burning ache that stayed in her gut despite her previous orgasms.
Her uncertainty of Dean being in the house quelled when she caught sight of your motorcycle parked at the driveway, having brought him home after you and Garrett managed to pull him off of Hunter.
Allie's footsteps, however, still carried hesitation.
She wondered if it was a good idea to even admit what's been on her mind. Because even though Dean just admitted that he liked "them," there was something behind his eyes that said otherwise. A flicker.
It felt weird walking up the stairs to his room. The routine secrecy all too familiar in her bones that she hesitates when she's right in front of his door, looking side to side as if the house wasn't ghostly empty.
But just as her fist was about to make contact with the door, she caught sight of Dean's writhing back through a sliver in the doorway.
Her breath caught.
There he was.
And there you were.
Tangled in a mess of sheets, Dean's hips drive into yours, the force enough to create a rhythmic thump, thump, thump against the wall. Allie watches as Dean cups the back of your neck, fingers sinking into the mess of your hair as his sweaty forehead meets your own.
She knew she should be jealous. The guy that just confessed that he wanted a serious relationship is balls deep in the person she just accepted she's in love with? She had every right to be.
But as she watches you pant into each other's mouths, eyes never wavering from the other, she felt nothing but a jolt of arousal down her spine.
A fleeting kiss was left on your lips when you tried chasing Dean's, leaving you whimpering at the loss of his closeness until he brought those burning kisses down your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin just below your ear.
"Oh fuck me." You breathed, nosing his sweaty hair when his lips trailed the valley of your breasts.
He looked up at you with a smirk threatening to split his face, dimples already showing. "I al—shit—already am, doll." Wasting no time on your pleasure, he wrapped his bitten-red lips around one of your nipples, tongue lapping at the hardened peak.
Allie watched his hand follow the arching of your back, pressing your chest further into his mouth. As if breaking contact wasn't even a question. The blond's brows furrow as his lips turn to your other nipple, groaning against your skin when she caught sight of your legs pushing him further into you.
She shook her head, ready to leave, convinced that she was going crazy that she even stayed this long but your voice stopper her in her tracks. You whimpered at a particularly hard thrust, hand tangled in Dean's hair.
"B-but it isn't really me you want—ahh—"
Your words almost had him faltering, but a brief flash of anger appeared in his eyes, prompting him to hold the back of your thighs against the crook of his elbows, effectively stretching you further with his girth.
"The fuck does that even—mngg-mean? Huh?" His every word accompanied a thrust into your cunt, nose flaring at the implication, though he never denies it.
"Fuck! I—" Your voice faltered to a gasp, ignoring the burning stretch of you hamstrings that would surely make itself known later, and focusing on the feeling of his tip nearly bruise your cervix. "I meant—god your fuck—cking cock—I meant, it's not just me that you—"
"Don't—"
"You fucking want Allie, don't you?" At the sound of her name, Allie's jaw dropped, leaning closer to the door, careful not to push it. The girl held her breath, eyes trained on Dean's scrunched face, and watching as it melted in surrender.
"I—you…" His voice weakened.
"Yeah, you preening—" A hiccup at Dean's hastening thrusts. "You preening fucking slut, Di Laurentis."
Confusion lined Allie's face. She expected you to recoil—given that Dean hasn't denied your sentence—but she watched as a sick and satisfied smile line your face, eyes unwavering from the man's blues.
"I want you, too." Dean pathetically argued, lips against your temple. He felt one of your hands on his ass, pushing him to a grind. "Fuuuck me—!"
"I know, Dean." You keened, cunt clenching around his twitching cock.
The mere mention of her name enough to drive both of you close to climaxing. It was greedy. It was sick how you clenched your thighs together when her pathetic ex-boyfriend had her in bed. Sick how you imagined—wished it was you who could drive those noises and more from her.
And how disgustingly filthy it was that Allie imagined you just to fucking reach her climax while her ex boyfriend's cock was buried inside her.
You were both fucking greedy.
"But imagine her—" Your fingers pull at his blond strands, a grunt vibrating his chest at your words. "—Right here. Between us." Continuous whimpers slip past his clenched jaw, a tight coil warming his lower belly at the thought of having both his girls.
"Gah! Fuu—!" He surged forward, burying his face in your neck. Dean had felt vulnerable enough at Malone's earlier. He had let people see through the surface and thought he could hide away for a while. Fuck you—the girl that had his eyes flickering from Allie—through his mattress and complete the stupid assignment.
He made the mistake of thinking you wouldn't notice his insatiable yearning for you both.
"Don't fucking hide from me."
His teeth, biting your flesh in an attempt to muffle his whimpers, loosened pathetically at your command, forehead finding yours once more. Groans spill from his mouth freely now, cock leaking an orgasm worthy amount of pre come the more you talked.
The sick squelch in the air echoes the violent thumping against the wall. The following sound of wet skin slapping mixed with the intoxicating blend of Dean's woodsy scent and your bodywash had Allie's thighs clenching and her mouth watering, fingers idly hovering over her chest.
"Is this what we're—hah—do-ing? Using each other 'cause we can't have her?" Your head was getting fuzzier with every grind of his pelvis against your clit. One of your hands trail down his chest to thumb his sensitive nipples, coaxing a whine from his throat.
"Are you fucking me the way you want to fuck her?"
The lack of bitterness in your voice and the neediness dripping from your words had a gasp tearing from Allie's lungs—she was lucky that Dean's unbridled moan covered it.
"FUCK! Wha…" The blond's hips barely parted from yours now, using his knees to shove his cock deeper into you, causing a bulge at your lower tummy. "What're you doin' to me?" He mumbled, dazed at the feeling of your warm quivering hole suffocating his cock.
"Look," You ignore him in favor of guiding his hand to the bulge in your lower belly, a gush of arousal flowing out of your cunt at his moan, causing his hips to stick to your flesh. "I'm so full of you. So fucking full, I could share you."
Dean swears he just died and went to heaven. Your filthy words mixed with your sultry breathy tone rewiring the nerve endings in his brain, clouding and consuming his mind.
"Tell me," You breathed, raking your nails down his back when his tip hit that spongy spot inside of you repeatedly. "How do you want her?"
"Huh?" Dean only looked at you dumbly, eyes glazed with his mouth parted, releasing uncontrollable groans that go straight to your—and unbeknownst to you, Allie's—core.
"Do you want to watch me eat her out? Here. On your bed, coming on my tongue while—fuck—" You gasped, growing warmer at the thought of her taste. You could feel yourself teetering over the edge, clenching around his girth, not allowing him to pull away at all.
Your pert nipples graze his chest with each thrust, the added stimulation and the thought of having Allie dripping all over you while you looked up and see her mouth wrapped around Dean's cock coaxing a strangled moan from your chest.
You feel Dean's hips falter against your own, thrusts growing sloppy at your suggestion. Your words sink into his brain, branding a permanent vision of your fingers pumping Allie's pussy violently while you ignored his pleasure.
Dean's baby blue's widen when he felt his balls tighten, thrusting harshly once, then twice before burying himself as deep as he could inside you. He refrained from burying his face against your neck, an unrestrained groan of your name resounding from his chest.
His gaze never wavers, a red hot flush running down his spine at the sight of your scrunched brows, lashes fluttering, struggling to keep your eyes open from the pleasure that rushed through your bones, flashing lights behind your eyelids. Your aching cunt flutter wildly around his cock once more before gripping him like a vice, feeling him flood your sensitive pussy with spurts of warm cum.
He thrusts a few more times, gentle now, to stretch out your orgasm, nosing at your temple before smiling against it. "You okay?"
Your stomach flipped at his dimpled smile. "Yeah," You breathlessly laugh at the sight of his hair sticking out in every direction. "'m more than okay."
"Good. I'll be right back."
You bit your lip at the feeling of him leaving your pussy, your mixed arousal dripping out of you immediately. Dean paused at the sight before cursing under his breath, running out of his room and into the bathroom with his cock still hard against his belly, making you burst out laughing.
He flipped you off before he got out of sight.
And when he came back, shoving his tongue inside your still sensitive cunt after giving you a cold water bottle, you didn't tell him about the familiar pair of eyes you caught hiding behind the sliver of his door before the figure darted away.
You definitely didn't tell him that the sight of her hand hovering dangerously close to her crotch, hooded brown eyes glazed, was what pushed you to come around his cock.
💌 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐞:
i firmly believe that deanallie is a freak4freak and bi4bi ship.
Hi! 🤍 I had an idea for an angst-heavy Connor Bedard fic. Connor Bedard and the reader were the NHL’s golden couple. Young, successful, and deeply in love, they seemed to have the kind of relationship everyone admired. Their wedding captivated the hockey world, and when they welcomed their daughter, fans became even more convinced they were living a real-life fairytale. But behind closed doors, perfection was only an illusion.
Somewhere along the way, Connor stopped turning to his wife first. Instead, he began confiding in someone else. It never became physical at first, but every late-night phone call, every inside joke, every vulnerable conversation, and every piece of himself he shared with someone else slowly chipped away at their marriage. The reader isn’t just heartbroken because another woman knows her husband—she’s devastated because she’s no longer the person he runs to first.
For the sake of their daughter, they continue pretending everything is fine. They smile through family photos, interviews, charity events, and game nights while their marriage quietly falls apart behind closed doors. I’d love lots of domestic angst, emotional flashbacks to when they were hopelessly in love, therapy, both POVs, and the heartbreaking realization that sometimes relationships don’t end because love disappears—they end because two people slowly stop letting each other in. Whether they find their way back to each other or ultimately let each other go is completely up to the writer
The person he stopped coming home to
SUMMARY : Connor Bedard and his wife were once hockey’s golden couple—young, adored, married, and parents to a little girl everyone believed completed their fairytale. But behind the perfect photos and polished interviews, Connor has started giving pieces of himself to someone else: his worries, his fears, his late-night honesty. It isn’t physical, but it is intimate enough to break something sacred. For their daughter’s sake, they keep pretending, until therapy, resentment, and the memory of who they used to be force them to decide whether love is enough to rebuild what they stopped protecting.
The first time you realized Connor Bedard was no longer coming home to you, he was standing in your kitchen.
Physically, he was there.
Barefoot on the cold tile, hair damp from the shower, one hand braced against the counter while the other held his phone. His wedding ring caught the soft yellow light above the stove every time his thumb moved across the screen.
Your daughter’s plastic cup sat beside him, half full of apple juice. A tiny purple hair clip was abandoned near the sink. There were goldfish crackers crushed under the high chair, laundry humming in the machine, and the faint smell of the chicken you’d reheated twice because Connor had said he would be home by six.
It was nearly nine, you stood in the doorway, unseen for a moment, watching the small smile tug at his mouth.
Not the polite smile he gave reporters, not the tired smile he gave fans when they stopped him in public, not even the soft smile he saved for your daughter when she ran toward him yelling, “Daddy!”
This one was private, quiet, familiar.
And it was not yours.
“Yeah,” Connor murmured into the phone, voice low enough that it felt like he was trying not to wake the house, even though you were awake. Even though you were always awake when he came home late. “No, I know. It’s just been a lot.”
Your chest tightened, he laughed softly “I don’t know. You get it.”
You get it, three words, that was all it took. You had heard Connor say a million things over the years. You had heard him whisper nervous promises before his first NHL game. You had heard him curse at himself after bad losses. You had heard him cry into your shoulder when the pressure became too much and he was too young to know where to put all of it.
You had been there for every version of him, the boy with shaking hands before draft interviews, the rookie who could barely sleep.
The young star who learned too quickly that talent came with expectations sharp enough to cut, the husband who once called you from hotel rooms just to hear you breathe, the father who had cried harder than you when your daughter was born.
And now, standing in your own kitchen, you listened to him tell another woman that she understood him.
Not you.
Her.
You did not say anything at first, you simply stepped back into the hallway, one hand pressed to your stomach, the other covering your mouth as if you could physically hold in the sound of your heart breaking.
Because the worst part was not that Connor was speaking to someone else, it was that he sounded relieved, like he had finally found the person he wanted to talk to.
And somehow, somewhere, that person had stopped being you.
—
Two years earlier, Connor had cried during his wedding vows, he had promised himself he wouldn’t, he had joked about it for weeks, rolling his eyes whenever you teased him “I’m not crying,” he’d said, lying across your bed while you sat beside him with wedding seating charts spread over your lap. “I play in front of twenty thousand people. I can handle saying vows.”
“You almost cried when our dog learned how to give paw.”
“That was different.”
“You also cried during that commercial with the old man and the horse.”
Connor had thrown a pillow at you “You’re making that up.”
“I have video evidence.” he had grabbed your waist then, pulling you down until you fell against his chest, your papers scattering across the comforter.
You had laughed so hard you couldn’t breathe “Connor,” you’d protested, still smiling. “The seating chart.”
“Don’t care.”
“Our wedding guests might.”
“They can sit on the floor.”
You had lifted your head from his chest, pretending to glare at him, but Connor had only looked at you with that soft, devastating expression that always made you forget what you were annoyed about “What?” you’d asked.
He had brushed his thumb along your cheek “Nothing.”
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?”
“Look at me like that and then say nothing.” his smile had faded into something quieter “I just can’t believe I get to marry you.”
You had rolled your eyes because if you didn’t, you might cry “You’re so dramatic.”
“I’m serious.”
“I know.”
He had kissed your forehead “I’m always going to come home to you,” he whispered. “No matter what happens. No matter how crazy everything gets. You’re my person.”
And on your wedding day, standing in front of family, teammates, cameras, and the entire hockey world waiting to turn your love story into content, Connor broke before he even finished his first sentence.
Everyone laughed softly, you cried too, not because it was embarrassing, because you believed him.
Because when he looked at you with shaking hands and wet eyes, you knew with the kind of certainty people spent their whole lives chasing that Connor Bedard loved you more than he loved the game, more than he loved the noise, more than he loved being adored.
He had promised you forever with his whole heart and you had promised it back.
—
Now, forever looked like Connor sleeping on the edge of the bed, his back turned toward you, phone face down on the nightstand.
A careful distance between your bodies where warmth used to be, you lay awake beside him, staring at the ceiling, listening to him breathe.
Your daughter, Ellie, was asleep down the hall with three stuffed animals tucked under her arm and a nightlight glowing beside her crib. She was almost two now, with Connor’s eyes and your stubbornness. She said “hockey” like “ock-ee” and clapped every time she saw her father on TV.
To her, nothing was wrong, to everyone, nothing was wrong, that was what made it feel unbearable, the world still saw the golden couple, the young captain and his beautiful wife.
The fairytale wedding, the baby announcement that had broken the internet for two days, the family photos in matching pajamas at Christmas.
The charity gala pictures where Connor’s hand rested at your waist and you smiled like your heart was not cracked clean down the middle.
The interviews where people asked how marriage and fatherhood had changed him.
Connor always smiled “It grounds me,” he would say. “My wife and my daughter are everything.”
And everyone believed him, you used to believe him too, now you wondered how many times he had said those words after texting her from the locker room.
Her name was Mia. she worked with the team’s media department, she was smart, funny, kind in that effortless way that made it impossible to hate her without hating yourself too. She never crossed a line in public. Never touched his arm too long. Never looked at him in a way other people would notice.
That almost made it worse, if she had been cruel, you could have blamed her, if she had been obvious, you could have called it what it was and screamed.
But Mia had not stolen your husband with lipstick on his collar or hotel room secrets, she had taken him one conversation at a time.
Or maybe Connor had given himself away.
That was the part you could not stop thinking about, every night he did not tell you what was wrong, every joke he saved for her.
Every insecurity he handed to her first, every part of himself he stopped trusting you with, you could forgive attraction.
Maybe.
You could understand temptation, maybe.
But intimacy? the kind that had once built your marriage?, the kind that made someone your home? that felt like betrayal in a language no one else could hear.
—
Connor knew you were awake.
He could feel it, you had always been too still when you were hurting. Too quiet. Too careful. In the beginning, he had learned all your silences like a second language.
The silence when you were tired, the silence when you were angry, the silence when you were scared, the silence when you needed him to reach for you but did not want to ask.
He used to be good at reaching, he used to roll over and pull you into his chest without thinking. He used to kiss the back of your shoulder until you softened. He used to ask, “Where’d you go?” when your mind drifted somewhere dark.
Now he lay on his side, facing the wall, pretending he did not know, ecause if he turned around, he would have to look at what he had done.
And Connor was terrified that if he looked too closely, he would not be able to lie to himself anymore.
It was not an affair, that was what he kept telling himself, he had never touched Mia.
Never kissed her, never slept with her, never said he loved her, he had only talked to her.
At first, that was all it had been.
A conversation after a brutal loss. Mia had found him sitting alone in an empty hallway after media, elbows on his knees, still in his suit, tie pulled loose around his neck “You don’t have to say the right thing all the time,” she had said gently.
He had laughed without humor “Kind of do.”
“No,” Mia had replied. “You just think you do.”
And something about that had made him exhale, not fully but enough.
He had been so tired.
Tired of being watched. Tired of being analyzed. Tired of being young and expected to carry himself like a veteran. Tired of coming home and seeing you with Ellie, tired too, stretched thin, giving everything you had to motherhood and marriage and the life his career demanded.
He didn’t want to add to your burden, that was the first excuse, you had enough on your plate.
You were home with Ellie alone during road trips. You handled missed dinners and rescheduled plans and the loneliness of being married to someone whose life belonged partly to the public. You smiled through it. You told him you were proud. You never made him feel guilty.
So when Connor felt himself unraveling, he stopped bringing it home, not because he didn’t love you, because he thought he was protecting you.
Then one conversation became two, two became texts, texts became late-night calls from hotel rooms, hotel rooms became inside jokes, inside jokes became comfort.
Comfort became habit and habit became a locked door between him and his wife.
Connor closed his eyes, beside him, you shifted under the covers, he wanted to turn around, he wanted to say your name, he wanted to confess everything, even though there was nothing and too much to confess all at once.
Instead, he stayed still, a coward in the bed he used to call home.
—
The breaking point came at a charity event, of course it did.
There were cameras, there were always cameras.
Connor wore a black suit, crisp and expensive, with one hand resting on the small of your back as you posed together in front of a sponsor wall. You wore a satin dress the same shade as champagne and earrings Connor had bought you after Ellie was born “You look beautiful,” he had said when you came downstairs.
For one fragile second, you almost believed things could be normal,hen his phone buzzed, you watched his eyes flick down, you watched his expression change.
Soft.
Instinctive.
Private.
You did not need to see the name on the screen, your body knew before your mind did “Don’t,” you whispered.
Connor looked at you. “What?”
“Don’t answer her while your hand is on me.”His face went pale, around you, people laughed and glasses clinked and photographers called Connor’s name.
“Baby,” he said quietly.
The word hit you like a slap, baby, he had not called you that in weeks, maybe months, you turned your head and smiled for the camera, Connor’s hand tightened on your waist, to anyone watching, it probably looked sweet.
Protective.
Loving.
You leaned closer, still smiling, and said through your teeth, “Move your hand.” His fingers fell away, the photographer lowered their camera, “Perfect, thank you!”
You stepped away from Connor before he could speak, you made it halfway down the hall before he caught up to you “Y/N.”
“Not here.”
“Please.”
“Not here, Connor" he glanced around, panic flashing across his face. “Can we just talk?” you laughed once. It sounded nothing like you “Now you want to talk to me?”
He flinched, good, you thought, then immediately hated yourself for it, Connor dragged a hand through his hair. “It’s not what you think.” you turned to face him.
There it was, the sentence every woman feared because it almost always meant it was exactly what she thought, just dressed in technicalities “Did you sleep with her?”
“No,” he said immediately. “God, no.”
“Did you kiss her?”
“No.”
“Do you love her?” Connor’s mouth opened, nothing came out, the hallway seemed to narrow around you, your whole body went cold “That,” you whispered, voice shaking, “should have been the easiest no of your life.”
His eyes filled “I don’t know what it is.”
You took a step back as if distance could save you, Connor reached for you, then stopped himself “I swear to you, I never meant for this to happen.”
“What happened?” you demanded. “Say it.”
He looked wrecked.
Good.
No.
Not good.
You loved him but you also hated that you loved him while he stood in front of you, unable to deny that some part of his heart had wandered outside your marriage “Say it,” you repeated, tears burning your eyes. “Because I need to know I’m not crazy.”
Connor swallowed hard “I let her become someone I went to.”
The words landed between you, small, devastating, honest, you nodded slowly, wiping your cheek before the tears could ruin your makeup “Yeah,” you whispered. “You did.”
His voice broke. “I’m sorry.”
You shook your head “No, Connor. You’re sorry I noticed.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Neither was making me share my husband without telling me.” He recoiled like you had hit him, for a second, neither of you spoke.
Then someone laughed around the corner, and the sound was so normal, so careless, that it made your chest ache.
You looked back toward the ballroom “We have to go back in.” Connor stared at you “What?”
You straightened your shoulders. “We have to go back in, smile, take pictures, thank donors, and pretend we’re fine.”
“I don’t want to pretend.”
“You should’ve thought about that before you made pretending the only thing we’re good at.”
—
That night, Connor slept in the guest room, not because you asked him to.
Because he did not dare crawl into bed beside you, he sat on the edge of the mattress with his elbows on his knees and his phone in his hand.
Mia had texted three times.
Are you okay?
I’m sorry if I caused problems.
Connor?
He stared at the messages until the words blurred, then he deleted the thread, not because deleting it fixed anything, because keeping it felt like choosing.
And for the first time in months, Connor understood with sickening clarity that he had been choosing every day, not in one dramatic moment, not in a single unforgivable act, but quietly.
Constantly.
He chose when he called Mia after losses, he chose when he told her things he had not told you, he chose when he smiled at his phone across the room while you folded your daughter’s pajamas alone.
He chose when he convinced himself that because he had not touched her, he had not betrayed you, Connor covered his face with both hands.
A memory came without warning.
You, pregnant with Ellie, lying on the couch with one of his hoodies stretched over your stomach. He had come home after a long road trip, exhausted and sore, and found you asleep with one hand resting protectively over your bump.
He had knelt beside you, pressing the softest kiss to your stomach “I’m home,” he had whispered, you had woken just enough to run your fingers through his hair “Missed you.”
Connor had rested his forehead against your belly “I missed both my girls.”
You had smiled sleepily “You don’t even know she’s a girl.”
“I do.”
“You do not.”
“I’m her dad. I know things.” You had laughed, and Ellie had kicked, and Connor had looked up at you like he had never been happier in his life.
He had meant every second of it, that was the worst part, he had loved you, he loved you now.
But love had not stopped him from hurting you.
—
Therapy was your idea, divorce was also your idea, not because you wanted it, because you needed Connor to understand that you were no longer standing in the ruins of your marriage with a broom, asking him where to sweep.
You told him on a Sunday morning while Ellie sat in her high chair eating banana slices and smearing yogurt across her cheeks, Connor froze with his coffee halfway to his mouth “What?”
You kept your voice low “I found a marriage counselor.”
He blinked “Okay.”
“And I found a divorce attorney.” His face went white, Ellie babbled happily between you, holding up a banana piece like she had discovered treasure “Baby,” Connor said, voice barely there.
You looked at him “I’m not saying I’m filing today.” his shoulders trembled with the breath he took “I’m saying I need both options. Because I don’t know which one we’re going to need.”
Connor looked down at his coffee, you could see him fighting tears.
Good.
No.
You were tired of that war inside yourself, tired of wanting him to suffer because you were suffering, tired of wanting to comfort him because he was still Connor.
Your Connor.
Ellie dropped her spoon, both of you bent down at the same time to pick it up, your hands brushed, you pulled back first.
Connor noticed, of course he noticed, his mouth tightened “I’ll go,” he said. “To therapy.”
“That’s not enough.”
“I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do.” Your voice cracked despite your best effort. “I don’t need you to attend therapy like it’s a punishment. I need you to show up. I need honesty. Ugly honesty. I need you to stop protecting yourself with half-truths.”
He nodded slowly “I’ll do whatever you need.” you stared at him, exhausted “I needed you to say that months ago.”
—
The therapist’s office had beige walls, soft lighting, and a box of tissues sitting on a table between you like a warning.
Connor sat on one end of the couch.
You sat on the other.
A space wide enough for a marriage to die sat between you, the therapist, Dr. Hall, was calm in a way that almost irritated you “What brought you here?” she asked.
You laughed under your breath, Connor looked down at his hands, you waited, for once, you needed him to go first.
He took a long time, then he said, “I had an emotional affair.” the words cracked open the room, you looked at him sharply.
Connor did not look away this time “I didn’t sleep with her,” he continued. “I didn’t kiss her. But I gave her parts of me that belonged in my marriage. I let her become the person I went to when I was overwhelmed or scared or upset. I hid it from my wife because I knew it was wrong. Even if I didn’t admit that to myself at the time.”
Your throat tightened, Dr. Hall looked at you “How does it feel hearing him call it that?”
You stared at Connor, painfully young, painfully sorry, painfully yours “It feels validating,” you whispered. “And horrible.”
Connor’s eyes shone “I’m sorry.” you shook your head, tears already falling “I keep thinking about how stupid I must have looked.”
His expression crumpled “You didn’t—”
“No, let me finish.” Your voice sharpened. “I keep thinking about all those nights I asked if you were okay and you said you were tired. I keep thinking about me lying beside you, wondering why you wouldn’t touch me anymore, wondering what I did wrong, wondering if having Ellie changed how you saw me, wondering if I became too much or not enough.”
Connor looked like he could barely breathe “I never thought that.”
“But you let me think it.”
The silence that followed was brutal, Connor wiped at his face with the heel of his hand “I know.”
You turned toward Dr. Hall “I wasn’t just his wife. I was his best friend. Before all of this. Before the NHL got so loud. Before everyone decided we were this perfect thing. He told me everything.” You looked back at Connor. “You used to call me first.”
Connor’s lips parted, no defense came.
Only tears.
“You used to call me first,” you repeated, quieter now. “And then one day you didn’t. And I didn’t even know it was the last time.” Connor bent forward, elbows on his knees, crying silently into his hands.
You wanted to touch him.
You didn’t.
—
Connor started sleeping at the team apartment three nights a week.
It was supposed to be space, that was what Dr. Hall called it, intentional separation with clear boundaries.
To you, it felt like practicing grief.
Ellie did not understand.
She stood at the front window the first night he left, palms pressed to the glass, watching his car pull out of the driveway “Daddy?” she asked. you crouched behind her and wrapped your arms around her little body “Daddy loves you so much, baby.”
“Daddy home?”
Your eyes burned “Daddy will see you tomorrow.” she turned around and patted your cheek with a sticky hand “Mama sad?”
You broke, not loudly, not dramatically, just enough for Ellie to frown and wrap her tiny arms around your neck “Mama no cry.”
You held her too tightly “I’m okay,” you lied, that night, after you put her down, you sat alone in the nursery long after she fell asleep, the rocking chair creaked softly beneath you.
There was a framed photo on the bookshelf from the day you brought Ellie home. Connor was sitting in that same chair, shirt wrinkled, hair messy, newborn daughter asleep on his chest. He looked terrified and completely in love.
You remembered taking the picture, you remembered how he had whispered, “How am I supposed to leave the house ever again?”
You remembered laughing “You have a job.”
“Not anymore. I quit.”
“Connor.”
“She needs me.”
“I need you too.”
He had looked up at you then, expression so soft it hurt “I know,” he said. “I’m not going anywhere.” You stared at the picture until your vision blurred, people always talked about betrayal like it was a fire. Explosive, obvious, destructive, no one told you it could feel like water damage.
Slow.
Quiet.
Seeping into everything until one day the house you built no longer felt safe.
—
Connor hated the apartment, it was too quiet.
Too clean.
Too empty.
No toys underfoot. No tiny socks in the couch cushions. No shampoo bottles lined up in the shower beside yours. No half-finished mugs of tea abandoned around the house because you always forgot where you set them down.
No you.
He came back from practice, sat on the couch, and stared at the wall, for months, he had convinced himself he was overwhelmed by domestic life.
The crying baby, the schedules, the pressure of being needed at home and at the rink, but now that he had silence, he despised it.
He missed Ellie’s laugh, he missed your voice from the next room, he missed the way you used to slide cold feet under his legs on the couch.
He missed being irritated by your alarm in the morning, he missed you asking if he wanted the last bite of your dessert, even though both of you knew you did not mean it.
He missed his life and the ugliest truth of all was that he had been careless with it because he assumed it would always be there.
His phone buzzed, for one sick second, his body reacted like it used to, then he saw your name.
Can you take Ellie tomorrow morning? I have an appointment.
Connor sat up immediately.
Of course. What time?
Your reply came two minutes later.
8:30.
He stared at the screen, thumbs hovering, he wanted to ask what kind of appointment, he wanted to ask if you were okay, he wanted to say he missed you, instead, he wrote:
I’ll be there.
Then, after a pause:
Do you need me to drive you?
The typing bubble appeared, disappeared and appeared again.
No. Thank you.
Connor closed his eyes, that was what he had reduced you to.
Polite.
Distant.
Careful.
Like he was a stranger you were trying not to inconvenience.
—
Co-parenting while still married was its own quiet hell, Connor came over in the mornings sometimes, making Ellie pancakes while you got ready upstairs. You could hear him talking to her in the kitchen.
“Blueberries or bananas?”
“Boo.”
“Blueberries?”
“Boo!”
“Okay, bossy. Blueberries.”
Ellie giggled, your heart twisted, he was such a good father, hat made it harder, somehow.
If he were awful, you could leave cleanly.
But Connor was gentle with your daughter. Patient. Devoted. The kind of dad who let her put sparkly stickers on his face before games and then forgot to remove one before media. The kind who tucked her stuffed rabbit into his suitcase before road trips because she insisted Bunny needed to “watch Daddy hockey.”
He loved her beautifully, he had loved you beautifully too.
Once.
When you came downstairs, Connor looked up from the stove, for a second, the scene was so ordinary you almost forgot, then his eyes softened with guilt, and you remembered.
“Morning,” he said.
“Morning.”
Ellie shrieked your name and lifted both arms, you picked her up, kissing her cheek “Did Daddy make breakfast?”
“Daddy boo pancakes!”
Connor smiled faintly, you hated how much you missed that smile, after breakfast, while Ellie played in the living room, Connor cleared his throat “I changed my number.”
You looked up “What?”
“And I requested that Mia be reassigned away from anything directly involving me.” His voice was careful, not defensive. “I know that doesn’t fix it. I’m not saying it does. I just wanted you to know.”
You gripped the edge of the counter “Did she fight it?”
Connor shook his head “I told her I crossed lines and that I couldn’t have any contact with her anymore.”
The room tilted slightly “What did she say?”
He swallowed “She said she understood.”
You looked away, a bitter laugh slipped out before you could stop it “Of course she did.” Connor flinched, but he did not argue.
Good, progress, maybe, pain, definitely “I’m not telling you because I want credit,” he said quietly. “I should’ve done it before. I know that.”
You looked at him then, really looked at him, he looked tired. Not practice tired. Not road-trip tired. Soul tired. His face had thinned. His eyes were red around the edges. He had the expression of someone who had finally understood the damage and knew understanding it did not undo it “I don’t know how to trust you,” you admitted.
Connor’s face crumpled “I know.”
“I don’t want to check your phone. I don’t want to become that person.”
“I’ll give it to you anyway.”
“I don’t want it.”
“I know.”
“No, Connor, I don’t think you do.” You crossed your arms tightly over your chest. “I don’t want access. I want peace. I want to not wonder. I want to not feel sick when your phone lights up. I want to not look at old pictures of us and wonder if I was happier because I knew less.”
His eyes filled, you hated that you still knew the exact second he was about to cry “I don’t know how to give you that yet,” he whispered. “But I want to learn.”
The words settled between you.
Not enough.
But something.
—
Therapy got worse before it got better, that was the thing no one put in the inspirational quotes, healing was not soft lighting and breakthroughs.
Sometimes healing was you sobbing so hard you could not speak while Connor sat beside you, shaking, forced to listen to every ugly thought you had swallowed for months.
Sometimes it was Connor admitting things that made you want to walk out “I liked being needed without feeling like I was failing someone,” he said one session, voice raw. “With Mia, there wasn’t history. There wasn’t a baby crying in the next room. There weren’t chores or resentment or expectations. I could just be the version of myself who was struggling, and she didn’t need anything from me.”
You stared at him “So I needed too much?”
“No.” He turned toward you quickly. “No, that’s not what I mean.”
“But that’s what happened.”
Connor dragged a hand over his face “I think I convinced myself you didn’t need me emotionally anymore. You were so strong after Ellie was born. You handled everything. And I felt useless, and then guilty for feeling useless, because you were the one doing most of the work. So instead of telling you that, I disappeared more.”
You laughed through tears “You felt useless, so you made yourself less useful?” Connor’s mouth trembled “Yeah.”
The honesty hurt.
But lies had hurt more.
Dr. Hall leaned forward slightly “What did you need from him then?” she asked you, you wiped your cheeks “I needed him to ask me if I was okay and stay long enough for the real answer.”
Connor lowered his head.
“I needed him to hold Ellie and tell me to take a shower. I needed him to notice that I was lonely. I needed him to come home from road trips and not act like being tired excused being absent.” Your voice cracked. “I needed my husband.”
Connor started crying then, not silently this time “I’m sorry,” he choked out. “I’m so sorry.” For the first time in weeks, you reached for him, your hand covered his, Connor froze.
Then he clung to you like a drowning man, it was not forgiveness.
Not yet.
But it was the first time touching him did not feel like touching the wound.
—
The flashbacks came at strange times, you would be packing Ellie’s diaper bag and suddenly remember Connor at nineteen, standing in your first apartment with flowers from a gas station because he had forgotten Valentine’s Day until midnight“They’re ugly,” he had said immediately.
“They are.”
“I panicked.”
“I can tell.”
“I also got you a muffin.”
“A muffin?”
“Chocolate chip.” You had stared at him for three seconds before bursting into laughter, Connor had looked so relieved that you laughed harder.
Then he had crossed the room, wrapped both arms around you, and buried his face in your neck “I love you,” he had mumbled.
“With your gas station flowers and panic muffin?”
“Especially with my panic muffin.” You had kept the receipt pressed between the pages of a book for years, another memory hit while folding laundry.
Connor on your honeymoon, sunburned despite your warnings, insisting he was fine while moving like a man twice his age “You’re red,” you had said.
“I’m tan.”
“You look like a lobster.”
“A very athletic lobster.”
“You need aloe.”
“I need respect.”
“You need aloe.” He had pouted until you rubbed it across his shoulders, then immediately melted under your hands “I married well,” he murmured.
“You married someone smarter than you.”
“Yeah,” he said softly. “I know.”
The memories did not comfort you at first, they made you angry, because that Connor had existed, that marriage had existed, you had not imagined it, you had not invented the tenderness or exaggerated the love.
It had been real.
And somehow, real things could still break.
—
The first time Connor asked to come home, you said no, he nodded like he expected it. You stood by the front door after Ellie had fallen asleep, arms crossed, hoodie sleeves pulled over your hands.
It was one of his hoodies, you had put it on without thinking, Connor noticed but did not mention it “I’m not ready,” you said.
“I know.”
“I don’t want you back in our bed because you miss the house.”
“I don’t.”
You gave him a look, he corrected himself “I mean, I do miss the house. I miss Ellie. I miss you. I miss all of it. But that’s not why I’m asking.”
“Then why are you?”
Connor looked down, then back up at you “Because I want to be here for the hard parts too. Not just breakfast and bedtime and the moments where Ellie runs to me. I want to be here when she won’t sleep. When the dishwasher breaks. When you’re exhausted. When we’re uncomfortable and still figuring this out.” His voice shook. “I don’t want to keep being a visitor in the life I damaged.”
Your throat tightened, that was a good answer, you hated that it was a good answer “I believe that you believe that right now,” you said.
Pain flashed across his face “But you don’t trust it.”
“No.”
He nodded “Okay.” Connor reached for his coat, some part of you wanted to stop him, instead, you let him leave, then you slid down the door and cried into his hoodie until your chest hurt.
—
Connor did not ask again for three weeks, he kept showing up anyway, not dramatically, not with grand gestures that made forgiveness feel like a performance.
He showed up quietly, he took Ellie to the park so you could sleep, he fixed the loose cabinet handle you had asked him to fix six months ago.
He sent you his travel schedule before you had to ask, e called after games, but not to unload. To ask about your day. To ask how Ellie slept. To ask, carefully, if you had eaten dinner.
At first, you answered with one-word replies, then sentences, then one night, after a rough game, he called from the hotel.
You almost did not answer, then you did, Connor’s face appeared on the screen, hair wet, hoodie pulled up, exhaustion carved into his features.
“Hi,” he said.
“Hi.”
He hesitated “I had a bad game.”
Your stomach tightened out of habit, this was the kind of moment he had taken elsewhere, you waited.
Connor swallowed “My first instinct was to shut down,” he admitted. “Or say I was fine. But I’m not fine. I’m embarrassed and angry and I feel like everyone can see I’m messing up in every possible area of my life.”
Your eyes filled unexpectedly, he looked directly into the camera “And I wanted to tell you. Not because I expect you to fix it. Not because I deserve comfort. I just… I wanted to let you in.”
For a long moment, you said nothing, Connor looked terrified, then you whispered, “I’m sorry about the game.”
His shoulders sagged slightly “Thanks.”
“You looked tired in the third.”
His mouth twitched “Brutal honesty. Nice.”
“You called me, not ESPN.”
That made him laugh softly, the sound hurt, the sound healed, both at once “I miss you,” Connor said, barely above a whisper.
You closed your eyes “I miss who we were.”
“I do too.” when you opened your eyes again, he was crying.
“I don’t know if we can get back there,” you said.
Connor nodded, wiping his face “I don’t either.”
“But I think…” You took a shaky breath. “I think maybe I want to see if we can become something else.”
His lips parted, hope was dangerous on his face, you had to look away “Don’t make me regret saying that.”
“I won’t.”
“You don’t get to promise that with words anymore.”
Connor nodded “Then I’ll show you.”
—
He came home on a Tuesday, no cameras, no announcement, no dramatic embrace in the doorway, Just Connor carrying two duffel bags into the house while Ellie screamed like he had returned from war.
“Daddy home!” Connor dropped one bag instantly and scooped her up “Hi, baby girl.” she grabbed his face between both hands “Daddy stay?”
Connor looked at you over her shoulder, your heart clenched, then he kissed Ellie’s cheek and said, “Daddy’s going to try really hard.”
It was not the perfect answer, it was the honest one, that night, he slept beside you for the first time in nearly two months.
Neither of you touched at first, the space between you was smaller than before, but still there, you lay on your back, staring at the ceiling.
Connor lay beside you, equally still, finally, in the darkness, he whispered, “Can I hold your hand?” Your eyes burned, such a small question, such a different man than the one who once assumed access to you because love had made it easy.
You turned your hand palm-up between you, Connor reached for it slowly, his fingers wrapped around yours, he exhaled like he had been holding his breath for months.
You cried silently, so did he, neither of you said anything. for that night, holding hands was enough.
—
Repair was not linear, some days, you laughed together while making dinner, and it scared you how easy it felt, some days, Connor’s phone buzzed and your entire body went rigid, some days, he reached for you and you leaned in, some days, you moved away, he learned not to make his hurt about your healing.
You learned that forgiveness was not one decision, but many, a choice made in small, exhausted increments, in therapy, Connor learned to stop saying, “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” as if intention could soften impact.
He learned to say, “I hurt you.” he learned to sit in the discomfort without asking you to reassure him.
You learned to say the ugly things before they became poison.
“I hate that I compare myself to her.”
“I hate that part of me wants to punish you.”
“I hate that I still love you this much.”
Connor listened, sometimes he cried, sometimes you did, sometimes both of you sat in the car after therapy, emotionally wrung out, sharing fries in silence because neither of you had the energy to cook.
One evening, after a session that left both of you raw, Connor drove home with one hand on the wheel and the other resting near the center console.
Not reaching, just there, an offering, you stared at it for three stoplights, then you placed your hand over his.
He did not squeeze too tightly.
He did not make it a moment.
He simply turned his palm up and held on.
—
The public never knew, not really.
They speculated, of course, they noticed Connor was quieter, they noticed you missed a few games, they noticed you stopped posting as much.
But eventually, the story changed because stories always did, someone got traded, someone got injured, someone else got engaged.
The hockey world moved on.
Inside your house, things moved slower, Connor started taking Ellie on his own during mornings after late games so you could stay in bed. He learned where her favorite pajamas were. He learned which cup she would accept and which one would cause a meltdown. He learned how to braid her hair badly, then better, then almost well.
He stopped treating fatherhood like something he helped with and started living inside it.
He stopped treating marriage like something that survived on love alone and started tending to it like something alive. One night, months later, you found him sitting on Ellie’s bedroom floor after putting her down.
The room was dark except for the nightlight, Ellie slept peacefully in her crib, Connor had his back against the wall, knees bent, head tipped back “You okay?” you whispered.
He looked over, his eyes were wet “Yeah.” you lowered yourself beside him, for a while, neither of you spoke, then Connor said, “I almost lost this.”
You looked at Ellie, then at him “Yeah.” he nodded, swallowing hard “I almost lost you.” You looked down at your hands “You did lose me for a while.”
Connor closed his eyes “I know.” that was another thing that had changed.
He no longer rushed to soften the truth “I don’t think I realized,” he said, voice breaking, “that love doesn’t disappear all at once. I thought as long as I loved you, we were safe. But I stopped letting you in. And you stopped feeling safe with me. And by the time I noticed, we were living in the same house like strangers.”
Your throat tightened “I kept waiting for you to come back to me.”
“I know.”
“I was so angry that you didn’t.”
“I know.”
You looked at him then, Connor’s face was open, devastated, honest “I’m still angry sometimes,” you admitted.
“I know.”
“But I’m not only angry anymore.”
Hope flickered across his expression, careful, fragile, you reached for his hand, Connor stared down at your fingers like he did not deserve them.
Maybe he didn’t, maybe deserving was not the point, maybe rebuilding was less about deserving a second chance and more about honoring one if it was given “I love you,” you whispered.
Connor broke, he covered his mouth, shoulders shaking, you moved closer, and this time, when he leaned into you, you let him “I love you too,” he choked out. “I never stopped.”
“I know.”
“But I stopped acting like it.”
You nodded against him “Yeah.”
He held you carefully, like something precious and breakable “I’m going to spend the rest of my life acting like it,” he whispered. “Not just saying it. Not just when it’s easy. I know I don’t get to ask you to believe me right away. But I’m going to show you. Every day. Even on the days you’re mad. Even on the days it hurts. I’m here.”
You cried into his shoulder, for the first time in a long time, his arms felt like home, not the same home as before.
That one was gone, but maybe this could be a new one, built slower, built honestly, built with doors open.
—
A year after the charity event where everything shattered, Connor stood beside you at another one.
Same kind of ballroom, same polished floors, same cameras.Different marriage, his hand rested near your back, not on it.
You glanced at him.
Then you stepped closer, allowing his palm to settle gently at your waist, Connor’s eyes softened.
Not private in a secretive way, private in a way that belonged to you again, a reporter asked for a photo, you smiled, Connor smiled too.
But this time, when his phone buzzed in his pocket, he did not look down, not even for a second.
His eyes stayed on you, later, in the car, your heels kicked off and Ellie asleep in her car seat, you looked over at him “You didn’t check your phone.”
Connor started the engine “No.”
“You didn’t even look.”
He glanced at you “There’s nothing on there more important than you.”
The words could have been too easy, too pretty, a year ago, they would have made you ache, now, they settled somewhere gentler, because he had earned the right to say them one ordinary choice at a time.
You reached across the console, Connor took your hand immediately, in the back seat, Ellie stirred “Mama?” she mumbled sleepily.
“I’m here, baby.”
“Daddy?” Connor looked at her through the rearview mirror “I’m here too, Els.” she sighed, comforted by the answer, and fell back asleep.
You looked out the window as the city lights blurred past, once, you had believed love meant never breaking, then you learned love could break in silence, in distance, in every conversation not had and every truth swallowed too late.
But you also learned something else.
Sometimes love came back not as a fairytale, not as perfection, not as the golden couple everyone thought they knew, ometimes love came back as therapy appointments and hard conversations.
As phone calls answered honestly, as hands held in the dark, as a husband learning, day by day, to come home with his whole heart.
Connor lifted your hand to his mouth and kissed your knuckles “I love you,” he said quietly, you looked at him, the boy you had married was gone, so was the girl who believed marriage could survive on promises alone.
But the man beside you was trying, choosing, staying and for the first time in a long time, that felt like enough to begin again “I love you too,” you whispered.
Summary: There are five key moments in yours and Beau's friendship where he knows you're it for him. There’s one moment where something is done about it.
Author’s Note: One shot based off this request.
The first words Beau Maxwell ever said to you were “I think I’m in love with you,” after he witnessed you throw your drink in the face of a man at the beginning of junior year. You were at Malone's supporting Hannah since you and Allie convinced her to sign up for one of the open mic nights. And while you were roommates with Allie and Hannah, you hadn't yet met any of their newly acquired friends.
Looking away from the mojito-soaked man at the sound of his voice, you locked eyes with him for the first time. A smirk tugged at the corner of your mouth as your eyes slowly traveled down him, assessing, before moving back up to his eyes.
“In that case, Maxwell, I’ll take another mojito,” you tell him as you push the now-empty glass into his chest. He wraps his hand around your hand still holding the glass, giving you a genuine smile. And he will never know that you stopped breathing for a second at the feeling of his warm hand touching you. His pupils are dilated so much you can barely tell his eyes are the warmest shade of brown; a shade that will soon become a new comfort.
"You know me?"
"Everyone knows you," you tease. And they did. Beau knew they did, but he'd never been truly happy to be known until he met you. And he made sure he did everything in his power to know you too, starting with buying you a new drink.
I
"I brought three kinds of medicine, two different movie choices, and hot tea, which I will be forcing you to drink," you firmly stated as you barged into Beau's room during a Thursday in November. He hadn't shown up for breakfast in the food hall and hadn't answered your texts, so when you found Dean waiting in line to pay for his food, you demanded to know where Beau was.
Beau's room was completely devoid of light, air stale. At the sound of your voice, he startled awake with a cough that sounded painful. You flinched. He squinted as he looked at you, trying to discern your figure in the darkness.
"Angel?" He asked in a scratchy voice that sounded nothing like him. The nickname he gave you because of your Halloween costume that year was followed by another coughing fit. He lets out a groan once the coughing subsided. You frowned at the state of him. He looked like he’d barely gotten sleep and he was actively shivering despite the heater turning the room into a sauna.
"Oh, my Beau," you placed what you brought on his dresser before making your way over to his bed. You chucked your hoodie off and then crawled in next to him.
"You'll get sick," he mumbled as you draped your arm over his stomach. You scoffed and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek.
"And then you can take care of me." He snorted and gave your thigh a squeeze.
"You have class."
"And you're sick," you countered. He rolled his eyes, trying to hide the smile threatening to grow on his face. Snaking his arm under your neck, he fell back asleep as you gently combed your fingers through his hair. Hours later, he wakes to him spooning you. Your back cemented against his chest. He felt his heart speed up as he heard you let out a soft sigh after he pressed a kiss to the back of your head. Burying his face in your hair, he fell back asleep with a smile on his face.
II
"Are you sure he won't mind me wearing his jersey, Dean? That seems like it might be crossing a line," you huffed as he tugged one of Beau's spare jerseys out of his bag and threw it directly at your face. You knew Beau was nervous about this game because they were playing against Harvard, a team with no losses yet this year.
"You are the only woman Beau would be okay with wearing his jersey tonight," Dean assured you. You stared down at the fabric in your hands, the "13" underneath "MAXWELL" stared up at you. You originally planned to make a sign like Allie was, but Dean insisted you had to do more.
"Fine," you agreed, trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the thought of how Beau would react to seeing you.
The stadium is completely packed by the time the three of you arrived. You followed after Dean and Allie, settling into the seats Dean bought for the three of you before you even had a chance to look at the tickets. They were as close as you could get to the field.
The sound in stadium was deafening, so Allie had to practically shout in your ear when she told you, "He's going to go crazy when he sees you in that!" You rolled your eyes at her playfully.
"I doubt he'll care," you told her. You heard Dean scoff next to her and you narrowed your eyes at him before quickly looking back to the field when the music announcing the home team’s entrance starts. Beau is the first one who runs out, the matching jersey hugged his frame while the one on you flooded. As he made his way back to the side of the field, helmet in hand, you saw his eyes scanning the crowd.
The sound, as loud as before, seemed to dull as he finally found you. A huge smile stretched onto his face as he waved to you. His eyes fell to your chest, and you saw him freeze mid-wave. His brows furrowed, face becoming serious before he gestured for you to turn around. You pulled your hair over your shoulder and turned so he could read the back.
Looking over your shoulder, you saw the smile returned to his face before he blew a kiss to you and then looked over at Dean and gave him a thumbs up. You giggled at how giddy he looked and sat in your seat as he started getting ready for the game.
You were on his mind the whole game, not in a distracting way, but in a way where he wanted to impress you since you decided to wear his name and number across your back. Briar ultimately won, the stadium went absolutely crazy as it was one of their best games to date.
The three of you had joined in on the crowds' chants when Allie turned to you, a shit-eating grin planted on her face.
“You know, you could celebrate tonight by letting Beau take that off you." She wiggled her eyebrows at you. You gave her shoulder a light shove and reminded her that "Beau doesn't think about me like that, we've been over this."
And if you didn’t see the way Dean slapped his hand against his forehead, you'd blame it on you watching Beau run up the stadium's steps to get to you.
III
"And you're sure you don't mind me kissing you?" Beau rolled his eyes at you and then shook his head.
“For the last time, Angel, if it helps you land the audition, plant one on me!” You giggled at his exasperation.
“I just want to be sure that this won’t make things weird,” you said throwing your hands up in defense playfully. You handed him the script before you grabbed your own.
“Okay, just read the lines as best you can. Ready?”
He nodded. You took a deep breath, closed your eyes, let it out slowly, and then opened your eyes. The two of you started, the scene an argument between a married couple because the husband just lost his job. The husband begging the wife not to leave him even though he can’t keep a job.
You had to give it to Beau, the man could act. You almost believed there was real emotion charging his acting when he got on his knees, hands gripping the end of your dress as he begged you to just listen to him, that he’d fix everything if you just kept loving him as he loved you. You delivered your lines perfectly.
You finally turned away from him, making to storm across the room before you felt his fingers wrapped around your wrist, tugging you towards him. You spun into his chest, heart pounding in your ears. The hand not in his grip was placed on his chest as you stared up into his eyes.
Beau’s eyes drifted to your lips before looking back into your eyes. You nodded slightly giving him permission. And even though the script didn’t specify what kind of kiss it was, you didn’t expect that.
He placed his hands on the sides of your face before slamming his lips onto yours. And the moan he let out was definitely not in the script. He kissed you like he was starving, your lips finding his again and again.
“So I was thinking we could start getting rea-OH FUCK!” The two of you jumped apart at the sudden voice, your chest heaved as you tried to suck in air, fingers gently brushed your lips.
Allie stood in your room’s doorway, completely shocked by what she’d witnessed. You immediately started shaking your head at her.
“No, no, this isn’t what it looks like! I needed help for the audition. We were rehearsing lines, it was nothing else,” you explained hoping she wouldn’t press the matter. What you didn’t see was Beau’s devastated face because of the wording you’d used. The ache behind his ribs grew as the pressure from your kiss started fading.
IV
"It's two in the morning. Are you okay?" Beau asked concerned as he picked up the phone call immediately after the sound of the first ring jolted him out of sleep. He heard rustling from the other end of the line.
"Angel, I can't hear you," he yawned out as he sits up in his bed. And then he heard it. Moaning, you moaning. Muffled like the phone is under a blanket. Beau's breath hitched. And then came a man's voice telling you how good you're being for him.
And Beau hated himself for not hanging up as soon as he realized you'd somehow butt-dialed him in the middle of having sex, but he'd blame it on the shock if questioned. He heard the man tell you to get on your hands and knees, and only after he heard you beg the man in a whiny voice to stop teasing you and what he assumed was the man smacking your ass with a groan, did he yank the phone from his ear and end the call.
He didn’t realize how heavy he'd been breathing until he laid back down, cock throbbing, strained against his boxers. And it's not the first time he'd gotten off thinking about his best friend, but it's the first time he'd done it knowing exactly what you'd sound like underneath him.
V
"I just really, really love him," you cried into your cup. Hannah had been sitting next to you on the hockey house's couch, listening to you rant about Beau. At a certain point she had wandered off to the bathroom, but you felt her settle back down next to you. You hadn't looked at her because you had started tearing up after she left, and you knew the tears would fall if you looked at her.
"Wait, who?" You heard next to you in a voice that was definitely not Hannah. Your body froze, eyes widening as you slowly turned your head to look next to you, already knowing who would be sitting there.
Beau was staring at you with a frown on his face.
"Angel, you didn't tell me you're in love."
"I mean, we don't really talk about those things," you said quietly with an awkward laugh. You prayed he didn’t realize you’d been talking about him.
"We don't talk about our hookups, but of course I want to know if you're in love." And that was the first and only time Beau ever lied to you because he knew that he didn’t want to ever see you fall in love with someone else. But knowing that you had already fallen in love with someone felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. His mind focused immediately.
“It’s nothing serious. I would’ve told you if it was,” you promised, voice shaky. “He doesn’t love me back anyway.” You gave him a sad smile.
Beau felt like the worst person in the world for having felt relieved that whoever you were in love with wasn’t in love with you too. He immediately shoved all of his emotions to the side after he saw a tear roll down your cheek. He swiped it away before he gave you a kiss on your cheek.
“Well, he’s an idiot. Come on,” he told you as he stood, fingers wiggling at you. You laced your fingers through his and let him pull you up. He weaved you through the other people at the party.
“Where-” you started.
“Guest room, Angel. Party is over for us tonight.” He gave your hand a squeeze. And your heart physically ached at how much you feel for him while knowing he would never feel it in return.
The rest of the night consisted of Beau giving you the shirt he’d brought to sleep in, him gently wiping your makeup off, grabbing you both water, advil, and snacks, before the two of you finally climbed into bed.
“Mamma Mia?” He asked as he turned on the tv.
“Please,” you murmured as you threw another chip in your mouth. And that’s how the two of you fell asleep an hour later: tipsy, Mamma Mia playing quietly, chips spilled on the ground, and you curled up on top of him.
Now
Beau smelled you before he saw you. The theme for his and Dean’s joint birthday party being masquerade caused him to be vigilantly searching for you since the party started an hour ago. You had warned him that you wouldn’t be taking the theme lightly and that he’d have to find you. He realized now that you hadn’t been joking.
But as soon as your perfume, that blend of coconut and vanilla, hits his nose, he whips his head around to the woman walking towards the kitchen. You have on a short, blood red dress, dripping with rubies; a loan from the theatre’s costume department. The way it hugs your body has every man’s head turning to follow you. Beau’s jaw tightens at this revelation. Your toned legs are accentuated by the stilettos digging into your feet, and all he can think about is having them thrown over his shoulders.
As you get to the kitchen, you look back towards Beau over your shoulder, your mask covering enough of your face that most people wouldn’t know who you are.
But Beau isn’t most people, and he’ll be damned if any other man holds your attention tonight. With no hesitation, he moves through the crowd, eyes fixed on you, the smirk on your face growing as he gets closer.
“How long have you been here?” Is the first thing out of his mouth as he pulls you down the hall next to kitchen and crowds you against the wall. He’s not even trying to hide the way his eyes are cataloging every centimeter of you, something which doesn’t go unnoticed by you as your cheeks grow warm.
“Long enough to see you and Emily getting cosy,” you tell him, head cocking to the side, jealousy coating every word. He tugs your mask off your face before he dips his head, mouth next to your ear, and whispers, “I’m begging you to tell me that’s jealousy I’m hearing.”
Your breath hitches, head jerking back to look into his eyes. The smell of the alcohol lingering on his breath mixed with the cologne you had bought him for his birthday makes your head go fuzzy.
“Jealousy?”
“If this isn’t jealousy, I can always go see where Emily went off to.” Your eyes narrow looking up at him as your hand shoots down to wrap around his wrist. He lets out a chuckle.
“Don’t.”
“No?”
You firmly shake your head. He begins to smile before stopping, thinking back to the month before when you’d been crying over the man who didn’t love you. The two of you hadn’t discussed it again after that night, but he knew he wouldn’t survive trying to make a move finally if you still had feelings for another man.
“You still in love, Angel?” Your eyes flicker over his face. The open desperation painted on it knocks the air out of your lungs. How hadn’t you seen it? All the times Allie and Hannah, or even one of the hockey guys implied Beau felt the same way come rushing into your mind.
And that realization, coming from the wild look in his eyes, is what gives you the final push.
“With you, my Beau? Always,” you breathe. And his lips are immediately on yours. You kiss him back frantically, your hands settling on his shoulders, you slide one up the back of his neck, fingers tugging at his hair as he digs his fingers into your hips. His hands hold you firmly against the wall as he breaks the kiss, but then he starts sprinkling your face with light kisses until you’re giggling.
“Say it,” he begs, and when you don’t respond immediately, he adds in a, “please.”
“I’m in love with you, Beau Maxwell,” you whisper as you look into his eyes.
“I’m in love with you, Angel, desperately.” He rests his forehead against yours for a second.
“I know this isn’t romantic, but I am unofficially asking you to let me be your boyfriend,” he raises his finger to cut you off as you’d opened your mouth to question him, “Unofficially because I can’t wait for you to be mine, but I also know you deserve to be asked properly, so I’d like to prepare that.”
“I would love nothing more than for you to be my boyfriend,” you say, pushing up on your toes to kiss him again.
He stops you right before his lips touch yours and asks, “Just to be clear, I was the one you were in love with last month, right?”
summary: After a chance meeting in Minnesota, reserved Canucks captain Quinn Hughes begins a secret romance with America’s sweetheart — a world-famous actress and singer. When he invites her to Michigan for a family wedding, she’s swept into the chaotic, loving Hughes household, where starstruck brothers, protective moments, and lake house memories show her what it means to be loved for herself.
wc: 6.5k
warnings: none
note: The request is much longer but I decided to place only an extract!
masterlist // imagine masterlist.
Quinn Hughes had never been the kind of guy who stared.
He noticed things, sure. He was observant in that quiet, almost unfair way he had, the kind of person who could read a play before it happened and read a room before anyone said a word. But staring? No. Quinn was too controlled for that. Too private. Too careful with himself.
And then you appeared on the jumbotron in Minnesota.
The Canucks were playing the Wild, and the game had settled into that loud, electric rhythm that came with an arena full of fans trying to make the opposing team feel unwelcome. Quinn was on the bench, leaning forward, elbows on his knees, half-listening to something one of the guys was saying beside him when the entire arena suddenly changed pitch.
It was not a normal cheer.
It was not a goal cheer, not a fight cheer, not even the kind of cheer that came when someone won free tickets or chugged a beer on the big screen.
It was chaos.
Quinn looked up.
And there you were.
You were sitting a few rows behind the glass with a handful of castmates and crew members from the movie you were filming in Minnesota, bundled in an oversized coat, hair tucked loosely under a beanie, laughing like you hadn’t expected to be noticed. Which was ridiculous, because everyone noticed you. America’s sweetheart. The girl whose face had been on movie posters, album covers, perfume campaigns, late-night interviews, award shows, and childhood bedroom walls for over a decade.
The crowd lost its mind.
You turned red immediately, pressing your hands over your face while the people around you cheered and pointed. One of your castmates shook your shoulders dramatically, another bowed down beside you like you were royalty, and you just laughed, embarrassed and bright and impossibly real.
Quinn forgot, for a full second, that he was in the middle of a hockey game.
“Dude,” someone on the bench muttered, following his gaze. “Is that—”
“Yeah,” another player said, dragging the word out. “That is definitely her.”
Quinn didn’t say anything.
He just watched as you smiled up at the jumbotron, gave a shy wave, then mouthed, “Hi, Minnesota,” and the arena somehow got louder.
He should have looked away.
He did not.
By the time the camera cut back to the ice, Quinn had missed the entire last part of whatever tactical thing the assistant coach had been explaining behind him.
And, because life had a sense of humor, the Canucks won that night.
Which meant there were media obligations, postgame routines, and a hallway outside the visitors’ locker room full of team staff, arena workers, reporters, and, somehow, you.
You were talking to someone from the Wild organization, your coat folded over one arm, your face scrubbed softer without the arena lights hitting you. You looked less like a global superstar and more like a very tired girl who had been working twelve-hour shoot days and had agreed to come to a hockey game because her castmates had begged.
Then you looked up.
Your eyes met Quinn’s.
He nearly tripped over absolutely nothing.
You smiled first.
That was how it started.
Not with some grand Hollywood moment. Not with a dramatic sweeping romance or a headline splashed across every entertainment site by morning.
It started with you smiling at him in a hallway in Minnesota and saying, “Good game.”
Quinn, who had spent his entire life handling pressure, blinked and said, “Thanks. Good… watching.”
You stared at him.
He stared back.
Then you laughed so hard you had to cover your mouth.
And Quinn, despite wanting the floor to open up and swallow him, laughed too.
Somehow, through a combination of your castmates being nosy, a Canucks staffer knowing one of your producers, and Quinn being gently bullied by three teammates who had seen him forget how to function, numbers were exchanged.
Privately.
Very privately.
At first, it was texts.
Then FaceTime calls from hotel rooms and trailers. Then Quinn finding out you were nothing like the glossy version of yourself people projected onto you. You were funny. Weirdly competitive. Too good at remembering little details. You cried at animal rescue videos. You sent him voice notes of song ideas at two in the morning and then immediately apologized because you forgot he had morning skate.
You asked him about hockey like you actually wanted to understand it.
He asked you about filming like he actually cared.
And somewhere between late-night calls, stolen dinners, and Quinn learning that you always wore sunglasses not because you wanted attention, but because sometimes you desperately wanted less of it, he fell.
Hard.
The relationship stayed hidden because both of you needed it to.
Quinn valued privacy the way some people valued oxygen. You lived in a world where privacy had to be protected like something fragile and endangered. Every friendship was analyzed. Every outfit became a theory. Every person seen near you became a rumor.
So you kept each other quiet.
Jim and Ellen knew, eventually.
Of course they did.
Quinn could hide most things from the internet. He could not hide anything from his mother.
Ellen had noticed the way he disappeared to take calls, the way his voice changed when he said your name, the way he smiled down at his phone like he was trying not to. Jim had noticed too, though he mostly handled it by giving Quinn one long look across the dinner table and saying, “So, are we pretending you’re not dating someone?”
Quinn had nearly choked on his water.
Meeting Jim and Ellen had been terrifying for you, but they had been warm from the start. Ellen hugged you like she already knew how nervous you were. Jim asked about your family, your work, your schedule, and somehow managed not to make it feel like an interview.
They treated you like Quinn’s girlfriend.
Not a celebrity.
Not a headline.
Not a public property.
Just his girlfriend.
Which was why, when summer rolled around and Quinn invited you to Michigan for his cousin’s wedding, you said yes even though your stomach twisted with nerves the second the words left your mouth.
“I want you there,” Quinn had said softly over FaceTime.
You were in your trailer, still in makeup from set, your hair pinned back and your eyes tired. “With your whole family?”
“Yeah.”
“Jack and Luke?”
“Yeah.”
“And cousins?”
“A lot of cousins.”
“And family friends?”
Quinn paused.
You narrowed your eyes. “Quinn.”
“There might be a lot of people.”
You groaned, tipping your head back against the couch. “You’re making me meet the entire Hughes cinematic universe at once?”
He smiled. “Pretty much.”
“What if they hate me?”
“They won’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
“What if I’m awkward?”
“You are awkward.”
“Quinn.”
“That’s one of my favorite things about you.”
You tried not to smile. Failed. Then the nerves came back again. “What if paparazzi find out?”
His expression softened immediately. “Then we’ll deal with it.”
“I don’t want to ruin the wedding.”
“You won’t.”
“But if people follow me, or if photos leak, or if your family feels like I brought all this attention—”
“Hey.” His voice was quiet but firm. “You’re not bringing anything bad. You’re coming because I asked you to come. Because I want you there.”
That was the thing about Quinn. He didn’t make speeches often. He wasn’t dramatic with words. But when he said something, he meant it so fully that you had no choice but to believe him.
So you flew to Michigan by yourself two days before the wedding, because Quinn had already gone ahead with his family and you had one last day of filming before your break.
You wore leggings, a hoodie, a baseball cap, sunglasses, and absolutely no makeup. It did not matter.
Two people recognized you in the airport bathroom. One gate agent whispered your name so loudly that three more people turned around. Someone tried to take a photo while pretending to check their phone. You smiled anyway, signed a napkin for a little girl who was shaking too hard to speak, and made it through the flight by curling up against the window and reminding yourself that at the end of it, Quinn would be waiting.
And he was.
The second you saw him outside baggage claim, wearing a Michigan hoodie and a backwards cap, hands shoved into his pockets, your chest loosened.
He saw you and smiled.
Not his polite media smile. Not his quick family-photo smile.
Your smile.
You walked straight into his arms.
Quinn hugged you tightly, one hand at the back of your head, the other around your waist. You let yourself breathe into his chest.
“Hi,” he murmured.
“Hi.”
“You okay?”
“Ask me again after your brothers meet me.”
He huffed a laugh and kissed the side of your head. “They’re going to be weird.”
“That is not comforting.”
“No, I’m warning you.”
The drive to the lake house felt like entering a part of Quinn you had only heard about in stories. Michigan in summer was green and golden and wide, the roads lined with trees and water flashing between them. Quinn pointed things out in his understated way.
“That’s where Jack fell off his bike and acted like he lost a leg.”
“That field is where Luke cried because he didn’t score in a soccer game when he was six.”
“That ice cream place was basically our whole childhood.”
You watched him as much as you watched the scenery.
He was different there. Softer. Younger somehow. Less captain, less NHL star, more just Quinn Hughes from Michigan, showing the girl he loved the places that made him.
When you got to the house, Ellen was the first one out the door.
“Oh, honey, you made it!”
You barely had time to smile before she wrapped you in a hug.
Jim followed behind her, grinning. “Good to see you again.”
“You too,” you said, and meant it.
Quinn took your bags inside while Ellen fussed over whether you had eaten, whether the flight was okay, whether you needed coffee, water, a snack, a nap, or possibly all of the above. You insisted you were fine, though the truth was your nerves were buzzing under your skin.
The house was quieter than you expected.
“Where is everyone?” Quinn asked, glancing around.
“Out on the lake,” Ellen said casually, opening a cabinet. “Jack, Luke, Trevor, Cole, Alex, a few cousins. They’ve been out there for hours.”
You froze with a glass of water halfway to your lips.
Quinn noticed instantly.
His hand touched your lower back. “You’re good.”
You nodded.
Ellen, completely unaware of the storm she was about to start, picked up her phone and sent a message to one of her sons.
Then she called toward the hallway, “Quinn’s girlfriend is here!”
It was not meant as an announcement.
It was not meant as a warning.
It was simply Ellen being Ellen.
But somewhere outside, on the lake, that sentence detonated.
Jack Hughes was sprawled on a boat with sunglasses on, arguing with Trevor Zegras about whether they had enough food left to justify staying out another hour.
Luke was half in the water, hanging onto the side of the dock, while Cole Caufield tried to convince him to jump back in.
Trevor’s phone buzzed.
He glanced down.
Then he sat straight up.
“Oh my God.”
Jack lifted his sunglasses. “What?”
Trevor looked at him slowly. “Your mom said Quinn’s girlfriend is here.”
Luke’s head snapped around so fast he almost swallowed lake water.
Jack stood up. “She’s here?”
Cole frowned. “Wait, like the secret girlfriend?”
“The one Quinn refuses to talk about?” Trevor said.
“The one Mom likes?” Luke added, as if that made the situation ten times more serious.
Jack was already moving. “We’re going back.”
Trevor scrambled after him. “Because we’re starving?”
“Yes.”
“And because we want to see her?”
“Obviously.”
Luke launched himself out of the water with the urgency of a man responding to a national emergency. “Nobody be weird.”
Everyone looked at him.
Luke pointed around at them. “I’m serious. Quinn will kill us if we’re weird.”
Trevor grinned. “You’re going to be the weirdest one.”
“I am not.”
Ten minutes later, Luke was the first one through the back door.
He was still damp, hair messy, wearing swim trunks and a T-shirt that looked like he had pulled it on inside out. He rounded the corner into the kitchen mid-sentence, saying, “Mom, did you make—”
Then he stopped.
Completely.
You were standing by the counter beside Ellen, holding a glass of water, laughing politely at something Jim had said.
Luke stared at you.
You stared back.
Quinn, standing beside you, immediately closed his eyes like he could sense what was about to happen.
Luke turned his head very slowly toward Ellen.
“Mom,” he said, voice cracking slightly. “You do know she is literally standing in our kitchen, right?!”
The house went silent for half a second.
Then came thunder.
Feet pounding up the deck stairs. Doors opening. Voices overlapping.
“What?”
“Who?”
“Move, dude!”
“Is she actually—”
“Luke, don’t block the doorway!”
Suddenly Jack appeared behind Luke, then Trevor, then Cole, then Alex, then a cluster of younger cousins, all trying to see into the kitchen at once.
The noise startled you so badly that the glass slipped in your hand.
Quinn caught it before it fell.
Of course he did.
His other hand came up instinctively in front of you, not pushing you back, just shielding you a little from the sudden stampede.
“Guys,” he said, mortified. “Chill.”
Nobody chilled.
Jack’s mouth was open.
Trevor put both hands on top of his head.
Cole whispered, “No way.”
Luke looked like his childhood had just walked into the kitchen and asked for a glass of water.
You gave a small wave. “Hi.”
Trevor pointed at you, then at Quinn, then back at you. “No. No, no, no. Absolutely not.”
Quinn’s face went red. “Trevor.”
“You’re dating her?”
Jack finally found his voice. “Quinn, what the hell?”
Ellen gave Jack a look.
Jack corrected himself immediately. “Sorry. What the heck?”
Luke was still staring. “Are you actually the same person from The Summer We Stayed?”
You blinked, then laughed. “I mean, yes?”
Luke looked devastated by the confirmation. “I watched that movie, like, twenty times.”
“Twenty?” Jack said. “You cried at the end.”
“So did you!”
“I did not.”
“You called Mom after and said it was emotionally manipulative.”
“It was!”
Trevor stepped forward, completely abandoning any attempt at dignity. “I need to be honest. I had posters of you growing up.”
Quinn made a strangled sound. “Trevor.”
“What? I’m being vulnerable.”
“You’re being weird.”
“I had the blue album poster,” Trevor continued, ignoring him. “And the one from that superhero movie. The silver outfit? Iconic.”
You were trying so hard not to laugh that your shoulders shook. “Thank you?”
Quinn looked like he wanted to walk into the lake and never return.
Jack dragged a hand down his face. “This is insane.”
You glanced up at Quinn. “You didn’t tell them?”
“I told them I had a girlfriend.”
“Yeah,” Luke said. “You left out the part where your girlfriend is one of the most famous people alive.”
Quinn muttered, “That felt like her business.”
That softened you immediately.
Because underneath his embarrassment, underneath the chaos of his brothers and friends losing their minds in the kitchen, there was that same careful respect he had given you from the beginning.
He never used you as a story.
Never as proof.
Never as a flex.
You reached for his hand under the counter and squeezed it.
Unfortunately, Jack saw.
“Oh my God,” Jack said, delighted. “He’s holding her hand.”
Quinn glared. “Jack.”
“He’s blushing.”
“I’m not.”
“You are, though.”
Luke leaned toward Cole and whispered, very loudly, “I’ve never seen him this red.”
“I can hear you,” Quinn said.
“Good,” Luke replied.
The younger cousins hovered near the doorway, whispering among themselves. One little girl, maybe nine or ten, clutched a phone to her chest and looked like she might burst into tears from nerves.
You noticed immediately.
You slipped around Quinn, despite his hand tightening briefly as if worried the group would overwhelm you, and crouched slightly to her level.
“Hi,” you said gently. “What’s your name?”
The girl swallowed. “Maddie.”
“Hi, Maddie. I’m Y/N.”
“I know,” she whispered.
A few people laughed softly, but you kept your attention on her.
“Do you want a picture?”
Her eyes went huge. “Can I?”
“Of course.”
That broke the dam.
Within minutes, the kitchen turned into the strangest, sweetest meet-and-greet of your life.
Cousins asked for photos. Someone found a Sharpie. You signed a phone case, two hats, a napkin, and one cousin’s old hoodie because she swore she would “never wash it again,” which made Ellen immediately say, “You absolutely will wash that.”
Trevor insisted on getting a photo “for closure” with his childhood crush.
Quinn stood behind the camera with the flattest expression imaginable.
“Smile, Quinn,” Trevor said, throwing an arm around you.
“I’m not in the picture.”
“Emotionally, you are.”
Jack tried to act cool and failed spectacularly when he asked you about one of your albums and then immediately admitted he knew all the lyrics because Riley played it constantly.
Luke, still somewhere between starstruck and confused, asked, “So when you were in that movie where you played the runaway princess—”
Quinn cut in, “Luke.”
“What?”
“You don’t have to interview her.”
“I’m not interviewing her. I’m asking a question as a fan.”
“As a fan,” Jack repeated, laughing.
Luke ignored him. “Did you actually do the horse stunt?”
You grinned. “Some of it.”
Luke looked at Quinn. “She did the horse stunt.”
Quinn rubbed his forehead. “I heard.”
Trevor leaned against the counter. “I still cannot believe Quinn pulled America’s sweetheart by saying ‘good watching.’”
You gasped. “He told you that?”
“No,” Trevor said. “I guessed. But judging by his face, I nailed it.”
The room erupted.
Quinn turned to you, betrayed. “You told them?”
“I told Ellen.”
Ellen lifted her hands innocently. “It was a very charming story.”
“It was humiliating.”
“It was charming,” you corrected.
Jack pointed at Quinn. “You said ‘good watching’ to her?”
Quinn looked at the ceiling. “I hate all of you.”
Jim, who had been quietly enjoying the entire collapse of his eldest son’s dignity, patted him on the shoulder. “Could’ve been worse.”
“How?”
Jim thought about it. “No, actually, that was pretty bad.”
You laughed so hard you had to lean into Quinn’s side.
By dinner, the initial shock had settled into something warmer.
People still stared sometimes, but not in a cruel way. More in the way people looked at someone they had only seen through screens and were now trying to reconcile with the person passing salad across the table and asking if anyone needed more bread.
You were funny. Not polished-interview funny, but real funny. You teased Quinn when everyone else did. You asked Jack about his summer training and Luke about New Jersey and Trevor about whatever story he had started telling with way too much confidence. You remembered everyone’s names, even the younger cousins. You helped Ellen clear plates despite Ellen telling you three times that you were a guest.
At one point, Quinn found you in the kitchen, sleeves pushed up, rinsing dishes beside his mom while Ellen told you a story about the boys growing up.
“You don’t have to do that,” he said softly.
You looked over your shoulder. “I know.”
Ellen smiled to herself but said nothing.
Later that night, after the house had quieted and most people had moved outside, Quinn took you down to the dock.
The lake was dark and calm, moonlight rippling across the surface. Music and laughter floated from the house behind you, softened by distance.
You sat beside him with your knees pulled to your chest.
“So,” Quinn said after a while.
You looked over. “So.”
“That was…”
“A lot?”
“I was going to say embarrassing.”
You smiled. “It was sweet.”
“Trevor said he had posters of you.”
“I’m choosing to take that as a compliment.”
“Luke forgot how to breathe.”
“That was also sweet.”
“Jack called me a loser in front of you.”
“You are a little bit of a loser.”
Quinn looked at you.
You leaned over and kissed his cheek. “My loser.”
His expression softened, the teasing draining out of him.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
You knew what he meant.
Not just with his family. Not just with the chaos.
With all of it.
You nodded slowly. “I think so. I was scared.”
“Of them?”
“Of them not liking me. Of them thinking I’m… too much.”
His brows pulled together. “You’re not too much.”
“You say that because you love me.”
“I say that because it’s true.”
You looked down at the water. “Sometimes people don’t know what to do with the fame part. They either treat me like I’m not real, or they get weird, or they assume everything around me is going to become a circus.”
Quinn’s jaw tightened slightly.
“But your family didn’t make me feel bad,” you added quickly. “They were excited, yeah. Very excited.”
He groaned.
“But they were kind. And normal. Mostly.”
“Mostly is generous.”
You laughed, then rested your head on his shoulder.
Quinn leaned his cheek against your hair.
“They already adore you,” he murmured.
“You don’t know that.”
“I do.”
“You said that before.”
“And I was right.”
Behind you, from somewhere near the house, Jack yelled, “Quinn! Tell your girlfriend Luke wants to know if she’ll sing at breakfast!”
Luke yelled back, “I did not say breakfast!”
Trevor shouted, “He said brunch!”
Quinn closed his eyes.
You burst out laughing.
The next morning, Quinn decided to show you Michigan properly.
It started quietly.
He took you to the little ice cream place he had mentioned on the drive from the airport, the one he swore had the best mint chocolate chip in the state. You wore a sundress, sunglasses, and one of Quinn’s old Michigan caps pulled low over your face.
For exactly seven minutes, nobody noticed.
Then a teenage girl behind the counter stared at you for too long.
Her eyes widened.
You gave her a tiny, knowing smile.
She slapped a hand over her mouth.
“Oh my God,” she whispered.
Quinn immediately went alert beside you.
The girl looked terrified of her own excitement. “I’m so sorry. Are you—”
You nodded gently. “Yeah.”
“I love you,” the girl blurted, then looked horrified. “I mean, not in a weird way. I mean, your music. And your movies. And you. Sorry.”
You smiled. “That’s really sweet. Thank you.”
“Can I get a picture? Only if that’s okay. I don’t want to be annoying.”
“It’s okay.”
Quinn stepped aside automatically, but his eyes scanned the small shop, already checking who was watching, who had a phone out, who was edging closer.
One photo became three. Then someone’s mom recognized you. Then a group of college students at a corner table realized what was happening.
Within five minutes, the tiny ice cream shop had turned into a crowd.
You handled it beautifully.
You always did.
You smiled, posed, signed receipts, complimented someone’s earrings, hugged the teenage girl who was crying a little, and kept saying, “Thank you, that’s so kind,” like every person mattered.
Quinn watched with a strange ache in his chest.
Because you were good at it.
Too good.
Good in a way that told him you had learned how to make yourself available even when you were tired. How to make strangers feel loved even when they were standing too close. How to stay gracious when everyone wanted a piece of you.
When one guy tried to lean in too close for a photo, Quinn moved before he could think.
He stepped beside you, hand firm at your back.
“Give her some space,” he said.
His voice was not loud.
It did not need to be.
The guy backed up immediately.
You glanced at Quinn, then reached down and squeezed his hand.
Once you were finally outside with melting ice cream, Quinn exhaled hard.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
You frowned. “For what?”
“I brought you here.”
“Quinn.”
“I didn’t think it would get like that.”
“It always gets like that eventually.”
He hated that answer.
You could tell.
You stopped walking and turned toward him. “Hey.”
He looked down at you.
“I’m okay.”
“You shouldn’t have to be okay with that.”
“I’m not always,” you admitted. “But today was fine. They were mostly sweet.”
“Mostly.”
You smiled softly. “You were very scary.”
“I was not scary.”
“You used your captain voice.”
“I don’t have a captain voice.”
“You absolutely have a captain voice.”
Quinn’s mouth twitched. “Did it work?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’m using it again.”
You laughed and leaned into his side as you walked back to the car.
After that, Quinn got more careful.
At the University of Michigan, he parked somewhere less obvious and tried to keep the tour low-key. He showed you Yost from the outside first, telling you stories about being a kid around the program, about visiting campus, about the strange pull the place had on his family.
You listened closely, fingers linked with his.
“You get different here,” you said.
He looked at you. “Different how?”
“Lighter.”
He shrugged, embarrassed.
“I like it,” you said.
That made him smile.
For a while, you managed to wander campus like any other couple. Quinn pointed out places connected to Jack and Luke, told you which streets got insane on game days, and admitted that yes, he still got chirped by his brothers about things that happened when they were children.
Then someone recognized you near the Diag.
This time it spread faster.
College students were quicker with phones. A few approached politely. Then more. Then someone posted online.
By the time you and Quinn were trying to leave, there were paparazzi waiting near the edge of campus.
Not many.
But enough.
Your hand tightened around his.
Quinn felt it.
“Y/N!” one photographer called. “Is this the boyfriend?”
“Quinn, over here!”
“How long have you two been dating?”
“Did you meet the family?”
“Are you going to the wedding together?”
Quinn’s face went hard in a way you rarely saw.
He moved slightly in front of you, keeping his body between you and the cameras as he guided you toward the car. His hand stayed on your waist, steady and protective.
You kept your head down.
Not because you were ashamed.
Because sometimes not giving them your face was the only control you had.
One photographer stepped closer.
Quinn stopped.
“Back up,” he said.
The photographer laughed. “Just a few shots, man.”
“Back up.”
There it was again.
The captain voice.
The man backed up.
Quinn opened your door, waited until you were in, then shut it carefully before going around to the driver’s side.
Inside the car, everything went quiet.
The cameras flashed through the windshield.
Quinn started the engine, jaw clenched.
You watched him for a second. “Baby.”
His grip tightened on the steering wheel.
“I’m sorry,” he said.
“You didn’t call them.”
“I know, but—”
“You didn’t do anything wrong.”
He shook his head. “I wanted to show you my life. Not make yours harder.”
Your chest squeezed.
You reached over and touched his arm. “You did show me your life.”
His eyes flicked to yours.
“The ice cream place. The campus. The lake. Your mom’s kitchen. Luke having a crisis because I did a horse stunt.”
That got the smallest laugh out of him.
You squeezed his arm. “That’s the part I care about.”
“I hate that they follow you.”
“I know.”
“You shouldn’t have to be used to it.”
“I know that too.”
Quinn looked at you then, really looked, and the anger in him softened into something sadder.
“I just want you to feel safe here,” he said.
You leaned across the console and kissed him softly.
“I do,” you whispered. “With you.”
By the time you got back to the house, the photos were already online.
Jack knew before you even walked in.
Because of course he did.
He was sitting at the kitchen island with Luke and Trevor, phones in hand, eyes wide.
Quinn stopped in the doorway. “Do not.”
Jack put his phone face down immediately. “Wasn’t going to.”
“You were.”
“I was, but now I’m not.”
Luke looked guilty. “There are pictures.”
“I know,” Quinn said shortly.
Trevor glanced at you. “Are you okay?”
The question was surprisingly gentle.
You softened. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
Jack studied Quinn’s face, then slid off the stool. “Want me to say something stupid to distract everyone?”
Quinn looked at him.
Jack shrugged. “It’s kind of my gift.”
You smiled.
Luke stood too. “Or we can make sure nobody posts anything from here. Like, family-wise. No one has to know where the house is or wedding stuff.”
That made you pause.
Trevor nodded quickly. “Yeah, I’ll tell the guys. No tagging locations. No stories with the house. No lake signs. Nothing.”
Cole, passing through with a bag of chips, said, “Already told everyone in the group chat.”
Quinn looked around at them, surprised.
Jack shrugged again, but his expression was serious now. “She’s family-adjacent. We protect family-adjacent.”
Luke frowned. “Why adjacent?”
“I didn’t want to scare Quinn by saying family.”
Quinn rolled his eyes, but his throat worked like he was touched.
You were touched enough for both of you.
“Thank you,” you said softly.
Trevor pointed at you. “Of course. Also, for the record, if anyone asks, I was very normal when I met you.”
Quinn snorted.
Luke said, “You told her you had posters.”
“That was honesty.”
“That was a cry for help.”
The wedding weekend turned into exactly the kind of chaos you should have expected from the Hughes family.
At the rehearsal dinner, you sat beside Quinn while relatives came up one by one under the very thin excuse of introducing themselves. Some were genuinely calm. Some were not. One aunt told you she loved your Christmas album so much she played it every year while baking cookies. A teenage cousin tried to pretend he did not care and then asked for a selfie twelve minutes later.
You said yes to everyone.
Quinn kept checking on you quietly.
A hand on your knee under the table.
A murmured, “Need a break?”
A glass of water appearing before you asked.
At one point, you leaned close and whispered, “You know, your family is really sweet.”
He glanced across the room, where Jack was attempting to teach two cousins how to do a ridiculous dance while Luke filmed and Trevor shouted corrections.
“That is not the word I’d use.”
“They love each other.”
“They’re loud.”
“They’re happy.”
“They’re embarrassing.”
You smiled. “You’re embarrassed because they love you loudly.”
Quinn looked at you.
You shrugged. “I think it’s nice.”
He was quiet for a moment before saying, “They love you loudly too.”
You looked down, suddenly shy. “They barely know me.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
At the wedding itself, Quinn looked beautiful.
There was really no other word for it.
He stood beside you in a suit, hair neat for once, tie slightly crooked until you fixed it for him. He looked down at you while your fingers adjusted the knot, eyes soft in a way that made your stomach flutter.
“What?” you asked.
“Nothing.”
“You’re staring.”
“I’m allowed.”
You smiled. “Oh, now you stare?”
“I’ve been staring since Minnesota.”
That made you freeze for half a second.
Then you laughed quietly. “Smooth.”
“I’m getting better.”
“Barely.”
During the reception, the Hughes family fully adopted you.
Ellen pulled you onto the dance floor.
Jim asked if you were having fun and looked genuinely relieved when you said yes.
Jack made it his mission to get one normal picture with you and Quinn, but every time someone ruined it. In the first photo, Luke blinked. In the second, Trevor popped up behind you. In the third, Quinn looked like he wanted to be anywhere else.
“Can you smile like you’re dating the love of your life?” Jack complained.
Quinn deadpanned, “I am.”
“You look like you’re being held hostage.”
You leaned into Quinn’s side. “That’s just his face.”
Luke laughed so hard he nearly dropped the phone.
Later, one of the younger cousins asked if you would dance with her. You did. Then her brother wanted a dance too. Then somehow you ended up in the middle of a circle of Hughes cousins, laughing as they taught you a dance they had clearly made up five minutes before.
Quinn watched from the edge of the floor, arms crossed, trying and failing to hide his smile.
Jack came up beside him.
“You’re so gone,” Jack said.
Quinn did not look away from you. “Shut up.”
“No, like embarrassingly gone.”
“Jack.”
“She’s really nice.”
Quinn’s expression softened. “Yeah.”
“Not fake nice either.”
“No.”
Jack was quiet for a second. Then he said, “I’m happy for you.”
Quinn finally looked at him.
Jack shrugged, suddenly awkward. “Don’t make it weird.”
“You made it weird.”
“I was being emotionally mature.”
“You lasted four seconds.”
“That’s growth.”
Quinn huffed a laugh and looked back at you.
You caught his eye from across the dance floor and smiled.
His whole face changed.
Jack saw it.
“Oh, that’s disgusting.”
Quinn shoved him lightly. “Go away.”
By the end of the night, your feet hurt, your face ached from smiling, and your phone had hundreds of photos you knew you would treasure more than anything taken by professionals.
Not red carpets.
Not magazine covers.
Not award shows.
Blurry, warm, chaotic photos of Quinn’s family.
Luke giving you a thumbs-up while holding cake.
Trevor pretending to faint beside you.
Jack forcing Quinn into a selfie.
Ellen hugging you.
Jim laughing in the background.
Quinn kissing your temple when he thought no one was looking.
Someone caught that photo too.
You stared at it later in bed, tucked into Quinn’s side in the guest room, your makeup washed off and your dress hanging over a chair.
“Send me that one,” Quinn murmured sleepily.
You looked down at him. “This one?”
“Mhm.”
“You don’t even like photos.”
“I like that one.”
You smiled and sent it.
Then, after a second, you said, “Your family makes me feel normal.”
Quinn’s arm tightened around you.
“They make you feel normal?” he asked, amused. “After everything that happened in the kitchen?”
You laughed softly. “Okay. Not normal. But… wanted. For me. Not for the other stuff.”
He opened his eyes.
“You are wanted for you,” he said.
Your throat got tight.
“By them?” you asked.
“Yeah.”
His hand moved gently over your back.
“And by me,” he added, quieter.
You leaned down and kissed him.
It was soft at first, then sweeter, lingering in the quiet of the room while muffled laughter still drifted from downstairs.
When you pulled away, Quinn brushed his thumb along your cheek.
“I’m glad you came,” he whispered.
“Me too.”
The next morning, you walked into the kitchen wearing one of Quinn’s hoodies and found Luke already there eating cereal.
He froze again.
You stopped. “Are we doing this every time?”
Luke swallowed. “Sorry. It’s just weird seeing you in Quinn’s hoodie.”
You looked down at it. “Should I change?”
“No,” Luke said quickly. “No, it’s cute. I mean— not cute. I mean, it is cute. But not in a weird way. Quinn is my brother. This is uncomfortable.”
You stared at him.
Luke stared back.
Then you both burst out laughing.
Jack came in behind him, took one look at you, and grinned. “Morning, superstar.”
Quinn entered two seconds later. “Don’t call her that.”
“She is literally a superstar.”
“She has a name.”
“Fine.” Jack turned to you. “Morning, Quinn’s girlfriend who is also globally famous but apparently we’re pretending that’s casual.”
You smiled. “Morning, Jack.”
Trevor, appearing from nowhere, pointed a spoon at Quinn. “I just want to say, after spending more time with her, I get it.”
Quinn frowned. “Get what?”
“How you pulled her.”
Quinn blinked.
Trevor nodded solemnly. “She’s nice enough to overlook a lot.”
The kitchen exploded.
Quinn grabbed a dish towel and threw it at him.
You laughed until you had tears in your eyes.
And somewhere between the teasing, the pancakes Ellen made because she insisted no one was leaving hungry, the cousins asking when you would come back, and Quinn standing beside you with pink ears and a hand resting lightly on your back, you realized something.
You had spent years being loved by millions of people who did not really know you.
But this felt different.
This loud, messy, affectionate family had seen you startled in a kitchen, overwhelmed by strangers, nervous before a wedding, laughing barefoot on a dock, dancing badly with children, and wearing Quinn’s hoodie at breakfast.
And they liked you anyway.
Maybe even because of it.
When it was finally time to leave, Ellen hugged you tightly.
“You come back anytime,” she said.
Your eyes stung. “Thank you.”
Jim gave you a warm smile. “You’re good for him.”
You glanced at Quinn, who immediately looked down, embarrassed.
Jack hugged you and whispered, “For the record, if Quinn messes this up, we’re keeping you.”
Luke nodded seriously. “Yeah. You can have his room.”
Trevor added, “And I still want that poster signed next time.”
Quinn groaned. “There will not be a next time if you keep talking.”
You smiled up at him. “There’ll be a next time.”
His expression softened.
“Yeah?” he asked.
You slipped your hand into his.
“Yeah.”
Quinn squeezed your fingers, and when he looked back at his family, they were all watching with matching expressions of amusement and affection.
Jack made a gagging noise.
Luke looked genuinely happy.
Ellen was trying not to cry.
Trevor yelled, “America’s sweetheart and Canada’s grumpiest defenseman!”
Quinn pointed at him. “I’m going to throw you in the lake.”
“You can try!”
You leaned into Quinn’s side, laughing as the chaos started all over again.
And for once, the cameras were not there.
The world did not get this part.
This part belonged only to you, Quinn, and the loud, ridiculous, loving family who had somehow managed to make you feel, for a weekend, like you were not a headline at all.
Just a girl in love with their son.
And Quinn, red-faced and mortified and happier than anyone had seen him in a long time, would not have had it any other way.