[adobekillustrator-deactivated20]

[me, attempting to communicate with the dead] “hey u up lol”

[ouija board spells out “READ AT 11:57 PM"]

[tbmblr-blog]

reed’s having a hard time guessing this one

[scorpiety-bye-deactivated202310]

sorry for being the girl of ur dreams? Lol. literally not my problem

[parakeet]

Me: *gives snail cucumber slice* 🐌: munch munch Me: *literally sobbing* you ask for so little but you deserve so much

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[glumshoe]

is it possible to love spiders too much?

[112468899-deactivated20201025]

[clayjokes]

The police pull my lifeless body from a lake but I’m wearing the funniest hat they’ve ever seen and they can’t stop laughing and keep dropping me back into the water

[oysters-aint-for-me]

intention deficit disorder

[oysters-aint-for-me]

when u have no intentions

[oysters-aint-for-me]

zero thought behind ur actions. absolutely no reasoning behind ur behavior whatsoever.

[glumshoe]

Mom: “What are you giggling about?”

Me: “I am telling lies to my friends about how I crack eggs.”

[anxietyproblem]

[boingoalive1988]

if you ever feel safe please remember that im out there

[glumshoe]

holy shit... yesterday our first female Luna moth eclosed from her cocoon, so we put her in a wire cage to call for males with her pheromones

OVER FORTY HORNY BOYS SHOWED UP

[animejebbush]

*bartender slides my drink to me from across the bar and i fucking fling it back twice as hard*

[glumshoe]

do you think tornadoes and volcanoes… are in love?

[milknjuice-deactivated20190908]

They should make Sprite for men

[fereldang]

i am not the same person i was 18 minutes ago.

[katzebruh]

I am now slightly worse