Devil you call me

Ren. Possibly demonkin, def non-human. Member of an OSDD system. Body is 27 years old.

[trashprinceass]

Chat should I be considering a new therapist after being told I'm "not normal" as a disabled person

[trashprinceass]

Toothache so bad I had to take a little impromptu nap about it ✨️

[trashprinceass]

When you hit the pen but now you gotta pen sneeze and you know it's gonna explode every blood vessel in your face and also somehow make the hi even better

[trashprinceass]

*boots up the video game and then looks at phone for so long the controller disconnects and the console forgets who's playing*

[trashprinceass]

Tonight, after attempting to remove red bull from my diet and having the worst four days in recent memory, I would like to thank stimulants for making me not wish I could disappear as much

[trashprinceass]

Not that I ever want ANY! Fedbook features on this beautiful fuckass site but if I could have one wish... one... it would be for the 30-day mute button.

A way to say I love this person and treasure their content but BOY are they on a weird wave rn, I'll check back in a month

[trashprinceass]

Today I almost had a customer threaten me because I couldn't complete his transaction because my workplace removed the app I needed for that and did not replace it. At all 🩷✨️

[trashprinceass]

The AI operator when I call my workplace:

Hey there! Thank you for calling BusinessStore! Now, how can I help you today? 😊

The same operator the second it hears the words "call out":

Oh. Right. Yeah okay fine. Sure. Let me get your fuckass ID number. Bitch. Asshole. Let me guess, you gonna use sick time? Of course you are. That's right. Coward.

[trashprinceass]

Me a few wks ago: "Honestly when I'm not at work I'm usually horizontal recovering from the inevitable flare-ups I get."

My boss this morning at 730 am: "Hey Ik it's ur day off but I'm just calling to ask you to come in just for a little bit please we R so short staffed 😩"

[trashprinceass]

Wish there was like an underground healthcare system where u could just walk in with ur symptoms journal and b like "Dude. I've done the research. I'm Pretty Sure. Can we like, just do the tests that'll tell us if I'm right and then treat me when if it proves I am?"

[trashprinceass]

Gonna start just saying "Thank you, Janet" exasperatedly whenever somebody at work tries to help me in a most unhelpful way and see how many people get the reference and how many just think I'm calling them a weird insult

[trashprinceass]

Just woke up from a dream where I was lying on a metal table under a bright light and these figures wearing what looked like steampunk plague doctor masks were standing over me picking at my brain with surgical implements. That's just... a visual that my brain gifted to me tonight.

[trashprinceass]

I love weed and the way it's makes me less socially inadequate

[cyber-corp]

this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

[cyber-corp]

i know what i’m doing dw

[cyber-corp]

Keep in mind I only know like. Two Greek gods by name. Homer is one of them, and he was good friends with Odysseus I think?

[cyber-corp]

Wait fuck Homer isn’t a god he wrote the fucking thing. Fuck

[cyber-corp]

POST CANCELLED NO ONE LOOK

[cyber-corp]

desperately google searching for “greek gods to pray to when people notice your online idiocy”

[pluto-officially]

You're failing.

[cyber-corp]

You don’t think I know that, God of Death? Can I pray to you so I can DIE ALREADY

[communist-mannyfesto]

Pluto is Roman, not Greek

[cyber-corp]

?????

[enigma-system03]

Short version is that Pluto is a later name for the god of death, which is often associated with the Roman era/Roman mythology. Hades is the earlier name.

[cyber-corp]

I set up my own house made of sticks and it has promptly fallen on me

[cyber-corp]

HE’S NOT EVEN REAL?????*

[cyber-corp]

I made this post thinking I knew what kind of fire I was playing with. Hephaestus, God of Fire, looking upon me from his fuck off tower or whatever said “Oh you think you know? Check this shit” and promptly set my post ablaze for everyone to observe

[legionoftuna]

Hephaestus doesn't have a tower, he lived in a volcano

[cyber-corp]

FINE THEN. BIG FUCK OFF VOLCANO. WHATEVER

[cyber-corp]

wrong.

[pointless-achievements]

Achievement Unlocked:

Lightning Bait

You're basically doing the post equivalent of standing out in a field during a storm with a ten-foot copper pole, you better hope Zeus is busy hiding from Hera.

[cyber-corp]

FUCK'S SAKE NOT AGAIN

[taco-bee]

I need you to name every greek God you know and what they are for plz

For science

[cyber-corp]

OKAY FINE HERE'S WHAT I'VE FOUND

HERMES: DA FUNNY ONE

ZEUS: DA LIGHTNING (NOTE: THOUGHT HE WAS NORDIC, FATHER OF THOR)

POSEIDON: DA SEA ONE

HEPHAESTUS: DA FIRE/FORGING/STEEL ONE

APHRODITE: DA HOT ONE

KRATOS: GOD OF WAR

HADES: DA HELL ONE. ROGUE LIKE

APOLLO: DA DODGEBALL/PROPHECY ONE

[boxxed-juice]

ares is the god of war, not kratos

[cyber-corp]

WHY THE FUCK DOES THE GAME CALL HIM GOD OF WAR THEN

[ironwoman359]

I can't believe this post is less than 24 hours old, it feels like something out of classic tumblr lore

[rat-detector-the-14th]

Rat adjacent detector detector not detected

[trashprinceass]

Getting the hiccups while you're mid-chew on a pretzel is an extreme sport.

[trashprinceass]

Listen here officer. Why do they EVEN make reclining driver's seats if not so that I can lay fully down on my back while driving 75mph up the interstate, as is my GOD-GIVEN AMERICAN RIGHT

[devils-queen]

✞ 666 ✞