Dear Doctor Mueller,
I’ve got spider bites, mosquito welts, peeling, sunburned skin, saltwater in my ears, sand in my crotch, burned feet bottoms, and sun-stripped snapping hair. What is the general cure for these beach problems? Frank
Dear Frank, This is really an easy one. Stay indoors and watch soap operas. Douse yourself from head to toe with watered-down apple cider vinegar to speed up the healing process to all these injured areas. Do this while watching ” All My Children.” Love, Doctor Mueller
















