Kyle’s inner monologue: “God damn it…”

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@trashyscrounger
Kyle’s inner monologue: “God damn it…”
“I think we’re all going out with Cartman right now.”
(Kyle lovingingly nudging Cartman)
Kyle: Eric your crushing my hand.
Cartman: Ngghh…
Kyle: It’s just a one prick Eric, you won’t even feel it that much… especially with all that meat on you.
Cartman: Aye!
Kyle laughs: Sorry.
Cartman looks at the ground with his eyebrows furrowed In worry.
Kyle sighs: Would it make you feel better if I hold you?
Cartman nods
The nurse comes in
Nurse: Alright are we ready for-
Cartman is on Kyle’s lap, nearly taking up Kyle’s whole upper half. It looks like a fat cat suffocating its owner.
Kyle: I’d like to get this over with as soon as possible, im starting to lose the feelings in my legs.
Eric leaned in, his voice barely above a whisper. “Kyle?”
Kyle whispered back, “Yeah?”
Eric turned his head, a grin so wide it made his dimples stand out, those blueberry-and-honey eyes catching the starlight. “I like you,” he said, quick and quiet, before whipping his head the other way.
Kyle stared at the back of Eric’s head, taking in the way his ears had gone all rosy. It was kind of adorable. He leaned in just a little, close enough that his breath barely ghosted over Eric’s skin.
“Can I tell you something?” he whispered.
Eric turned his head slowly, eyes searching, and gave a small nod.
Kyle swallowed, his heart thudding. Then, just as soft, says “I like you too.”
Kyle grinned as Eric scrunched up his nose.
"You do?"
"Yup."
"You like, like me?"
"Mhm."
Eric let out a little chuckle. "Heh, fag."
Kyle rolled his eyes and socked him in the arm before pulling him into a hug. Eric yelped, whining about his poor, abused arm, but he still hugged back.
Yeah. This was perfect.
Kenny: We should get married for, you know, tax benefits.
Butters: Tax benefits…?
Kenny nods
Butters: Yeah… Yeah! Tax benefits!
Butters runs off excited
Stan: Does he know..?
Kenny: No and he never will.
Kyle kisses Cartman
Cartman: … did you just take my virginity?
Kyle: What?!
Kyle can’t sleep without a weighted blanket on him. It keeps him grounded and secure. So when his weighted blanket comes up ‘missing’, he ask Eric to lay on him when he comes over.
(Kenny and Stan were a bit surprised by this at first, throwing comments like, ‘your going to crush his windpipes’ or ‘ His bones!’)
It started with three words.
“I like you.”
Craig stopped in his tracks, a snowball frozen mid-air in his hand.
Tweek took a shaky breath, staring down at his red, trembling fingertips. “Not just ‘like’ like... Not this fake boyfriend bullshit we've been doing for years to make things easier for us.” His words were rushed, nervous, like they might explode if he didn’t get them out fast enough. “I mean it. I want, nghh to hug you…”
He paused, the cold biting through his shirt, but it was nothing compared to the warmth flooding his face. “And hold hands,” he added, barely above a whisper. His hands were shaking now, maybe from the cold, maybe from the fear of saying something he couldn’t take back.
“Tweek,” Craig said quietly. He lowered his arm, letting the snowball fall to the ground with a quiet thump.
But Tweek was already spiraling. “And kiss you!” he burst out, crouching down in a panic and grabbing his hair. “I want to do all kinds of stuff with you, Craig! Stuff that isn’t fake or for show!” His voice cracked. “All that real cheesy gay shit!”
Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He’d tried so hard to keep this inside, to play it cool like Craig always did, but it wasn’t working. He’d never been good at pretending.
When he looked up, Craig had moved closer. He wasn’t smiling or frowning—just watching with that steady, unreadable calm he always had.
Craig crouched down to meet him.
“Okay,” he said.
Tweek blinked through the tears. “What?”
Craig shrugged his shoulders. “I said okay. If you want to do all that ‘cheesy gay stuff’,” he said, drawing casual little shapes in the snow between them, “then let’s do it.”
He looked up at Tweek. “Let’s be boyfriends. For real this time.”
He reached out a hand. Tweek stared at it, waiitng for some sort of punchline or ‘gotcha!’ but it never came.
He looked back at Craig’s face. That calm, collected expression that used to frustrate him now felt like something solid, something safe.
“…O-okay,” Tweek whispered. He slipped his hand into Craig’s, their fingers cold but fitting together easily, like they’d always have.
Craig gave a small smile, just the corner of his mouth turning up, and stood, gently pulling Tweek up beside him. Together, without another word, they walked back toward town.
Behind them, drawn clumsily in the snow, were two stick figures holding hands.
Kyle: Eat shit and die, Eric.
Cartman: Eat shit and live, Kyle.
They lean in for a sloppy make out
The priest at their wedding: ???
I love it when they stalk eachother (They both deny it)
Butters and Kenny are the type to have shotgun wedding. (Butters accidentally shoots his husbands head off)
I know for a fact Cartman has snuk into Ike’s room a few times to gather info on Kyle wether it be for his birthday, Hanukkah, or even just knowing what his favorite things are.
They’re like, somewhat friends, (or at least Cartman thinks. Ike just hopes he would stop coming into his room late at night to ask what brand of shampoo Kyle uses…)
Butters and Kenny is literally
A himbo and a whore.
Both blondes, mind you.
(An assumption, yea, but they work so well together don’t they?)
Butters and Kenny is literally
A himbo and a whore.
Both blondes, mind you.
(An assumption, yea, but they work so well together don’t they?)
Heeey, I'm back after almost a year! With a new drawing! Did you miss me? :3
Kyle: God, you drive me insane!
Cartman: …
Cartman: Firstly, Jews don’t belive in god, Kyle. Secondly -
Kyle: AAAHHHH!!!
Kyle tackles Cartman to the ground
Stan and Kenny watch close by.
Kenny: bet 20 bucks their going to fuck today.
Stan: Ew dude, gross…
Stan: I give it till next week.
Kenny: Deal.