@traumaghost-moved-blog - Tumblr Blog

GOD I HATE MY PAREENTS

im watching this episode of greys anatomy where owen chokes christina in her sleep and i think it triggered me and uh now i feel a panic attack coming on and my throat feels like its closing up too WOW

#ok to interact

my mother is so much nicer to me these days but after everything she has done to me i feel like i can never trust her again i dont want her affection now i dont want her "love" now i dont want her kindness now and i dont need it either its too late for her to show me any of that now

#its so out of character for her to be this affectionate and loving to me i hate it #ok to interact

when i was a kid after i would get beat for something i always imagined ways that i would fight back like stratch their eyes out grab a knife or stab them to death or imagine the most greusome death i could think of and wish it upon them i was filled with so much hate and anger as a kid and i still hold on to all of that now

#ok to interact #i remember telling my friends that i wished my parents would die and hey would look suprised normal kids didnt want theirparents to die

and theres nothing i can do about it because they always have the upper hand

#theres nowjere i can go

the only thing my parents keep me around for is to take their anger out on me

#they hit me berate me choke me yell at me because im the only one submissive enough to take it #ok to interact

since people still want to follow this blog for whatever reason im just going to post some personal posts here from time to time

anyways im fucking suicidal and angry at the world i just want to give up

#theres so many followers here and not enough on my new blog and i want attention and sympathy now :'(#and like why are yall following this blog in the first place?????#like im really fucking confused about that

traumaghost-moved-blog