It wasn't unlike the two to rummage in each other's closets or drawers. They had met during their sophomore year and became close enough that they would help each other dress for special events or clean up during a bad week.
This time, Harry asked (y/n) over to his place to find something to wear for an academic achievement dinner with others in his cohort. He always said she was the better dressed of the two, but they knew that this was just an excuse to hang out (he had far more 'dressy' clothes than she).
"What's this?" (y/n) laughed, pulling out an informal, short-sleeve button-up with lines. An embodiment of the trend that plagued most men in 2018. "Did you seriously wear this?"
Harry laughed as well, slightly ashamed of the article of clothing she held up. "I caved okay? I wore it a few times when I was in High school, and I felt bad for just tosing it."
"Okay, well, we'll donate it today. You'll single-handedly ruin your reputation if you go out in that."
"Yeah, yeah," he brushed off, turning his attention to organizing paperwork for his internship. If only he had paid more attention and kept an eye on (y/n), he could have distracted her from the box at the top of his closet. He could have brushed it off, avoiding her opening it like she was now.
She was curious, and the two had very little boundaries. Because of this, she thought the box likely had a pair of shoes or some more old clothes. She wasn't expecting to find Harry's sex toys. The two were close and had mentioned some of their hook-ups, but nothing as detailed as this.
She was shocked initially, but ... interested? Picking up the thing that fascinated her the most, she finally turned around to face Harry. He wasn't directly looking at her, clearly invested at his desk.
With a small smile on her lips, eyebrows lifted, (y/n) asked, "Harry?"
He hummed in reply, still unaware of what she held in her hand.
"What's this?"
Finally, he turned around, unceremoniously. Once he saw the fleshlight she had in her hands, his face immediately began to burn. Getting out of his chair, he rushed to her reaching for the toy. "(y/n) how did you find this?" He definitely forgot he had the box there in open sight, otherwise, he would have moved it.
"There's a whole box! I didn't know you had stuff like this." Her voice was laced with genuine curiosity, no sign of teasing in her voice.
"Well, don't we all. It's not important." He said, standing in front of her, but avoiding her eyes.
"I'm not making fun of you, I think it's great you have such a selection. I've only got one vibe."
With heated cheeks, Harry finally looked down to (y/n), shocked she wasn't taking this as an opportunity to make fun of him. "What?"
"It's cool you have these, good you're taking ... care of yourself." She smiled, moving the fleshlight around in her hands, observing.
The two were frozen, unsure of what to do next.
Stunned, Harry decided to make this less of a big deal than he initially tried to. They were best friends, why wouldn't he be open about these types of things? His mind switched from that of embarrassment, to ... well honestly? Horniness.
"I think that one's my favorite, but," he reached up towards the box, pulling out a vibrating cockring, "this one is far better for paired playing."
(y/n) hummed a response, now looking at the ring he held in his hands. She felt herself getting turned on at the thought of Harry squeezing it on before going to fuck the person on his bed. She thought about how intense it felt for him, how much he must look forward to using it. "Yeah, that makes sense." Stop thinking of his face with it on-stop thinking of his face with it on-stop think-.
"But, what you're holding, is probably my usual for when I'm alone."
Her head began to turn with an idea in her head. Smiling, she asked "but I bet it'd feel nice for someone to use it on you, no? I love my vibrator, but it's really nice when someone else uses it on me." She succeeded, the words seemed to have an effect on Harry, as he raised his eyebrows, dazed that she was being so intimate.
"I-, I haven't tried that yet." Not that he didn't want to. His head was screaming at his lower half to stop getting so excited, but he just couldn't help himself.
With a racing heart and a bit of adrenaline, (y/n) blurted: "want to?"
Even more dazed, Harry was shocked (y/n) offered ... that. "It won't be ... weird?" He wasn't sure why he was asking, he definitely wanted her to do that to him.
"Of course it's not, we're best friends. Do you want to?"
Instantly, and embarrassingly so, Harry replied: "Yes please."
(y/n), smirking to herself, took notice of how pliable he seemed to be in this situation. They hadn't talked about how they acted during actual sexual settings, but seeing Harry take on a slightly submissive role was extremely arousing to her. "Get on the bed, yeah? Sit up on the pillows."
Letting out a shaky breath and nodding, Harry took the few steps to the bed, resting against the headboard. He stared at (y/n), who had been observing him this whole time. She took notice of how easily he complied like he was waiting for her to take control. The air was thick, and Harry's pants were becoming more constricting by the second at the mere thought of what was next.
Finally, (y/n) got on the bed, crawling her way up to him. Sitting up on her knees, she leaned in to rest her hand on the side of his face, brushing his cheek with her thumb. She's a soft dom he thought. "Do you want to do this?"
"Yes," he said shakily, finishing with a soft "please."
This gave (y/n) the brightest smile, proud of her best friend being so compliant. As a reward, she finally leaned in to kiss him. She had noticed how much his eyes drifted to her lips and knew he was waiting for it.
Instantly, Harry let out a whimper, leaning his body up to get more of her. Swiftly, she maneuvered herself to straddle his hips, able to hold his head with both hands after putting his toy down. Lifting his own hands, he wrapped them around her wrists. Not in a demanding way, but more so grounding himself to her, and she was obsessed.
The two were very close, but they had never kissed like this. Sure, a few pecks too close to each other's mouths that were meant as a goodbye for their cheeks, but not this.
She began to kiss him deeply, the two breathing heavy. She couldn't believe this was happening, she always felt an attraction to him, yet assumed it would never be acted upon since they were 'besties'.
Pulling away (that caused Harry to let out another whimper), she buried her face in his neck. This caused Harry to hold her in his arms, wrapping them around her back, flushing her against him.
"Okay?" he asked, nervous that it was too much and she was regretting it.
Shaking her head, she was smiling into his neck instead. "Yeah. It's ... it's good, yeah?"
"Mhm." It was a soft moment between the two, and despite the ache they both felt, they basked in the feeling of being so close. So fucking close. Intimate.
Finally sitting back, she looked at him, seeing how flushed his cheeks became with a simple makeout. She brought one hand up to his hair, ruffling it. They both held small smiles, their trust and confidence in each other evident. Slowly, she dragged her hand down, caressing his cheek once more, thumbing his bottom lip, touching his soft neck, reaching down his chest that was still covered. She finally reached down to the hem of his jeans, still maintaining heavy eye contact. The soft movements were making him breathe heavy, everything about their current position was extremely attractive to him, straight out of a dream.
"Gonna get you out of these jeans, 'kay?"
He nodded submissively, giving her full reigns. "Kiss?"
"Of course, baby." Using both hands to unbuckle his belt and undo his button and zipper, she kissed him slowly and deeply. She wasn't sure the last time Harry had been with someone, but she would guess a long time due to how much he was leaning into the kisses. "Going to move so I can get them off." First pushing the jeans down his hips, releasing his very obvious problem, then getting off of him to slide the jeans fully off alongside his briefs. "So big," she commented, making him release another moan.
She decided to stay at his side, giving her a more dominating position than on his lap. Especially providing better access once she got to use the fleshlight. He turned his head to her, leaning up for another kiss. With a quick peck, (y/n) directed her attention to his erection. Grasping it with one hand while the other was lost in his hair, she began to softly massage him.
Having been turned on for a while now, Harry began to let out soft moans. His eyes involuntarily shut, enjoying the pleasure he was receiving from her.
"I'm going to use the toy now, okay?" she asked seductively, unsure how dominating she should be for their first time. With his eager nod, she moved her hand to the previously discarded fleshlight, excited she would be the first to experience this with him. He finally looked down to his painful erection, leaking precum as he noticed the item in her hand. He knew it was coming, but the reality of it was crashing on him, and his breathing became more labored if possible.
She kept one hand still in his hair, while the finally itched closer to his erection with the toy.
"(y/n)" he breathed out, barely audible.
"Don't worry, I'm going to take care of you," she softly said, finally dragging the fleshlight up his erection, mimicking how his cock would drag against her. This experience was extremely visually gratifying for her, clearly.
With a gasp from Harry, she finally set the toy over his tip, slowly lowering it.
Enjoying the whimpers that came out of him (what could she say? She found vocal men so attractive), (y/n) began to slowly pump the toy around him, still teasing. "You're so big, huh? God, look. Look how you stretch this fake pussy."
Harry had long ago squeezed his eyes shut from being overwhelmed, yet he took (y/n)'s advice and looked down to his lap. There was something so erotic about his best friend holding his sex toy and using it on him. "Yes. Please, (y/n), feels so-" he was interrupted by a moan he couldn't withhold.
She gave a soft laugh at this, still caressing his head with her free hand. She wanted this to be a good experience for him, and she definitely did not identify as a hard dominant. "You like it?" She questioned, instantly receiving eager nods from him. She decided to finally give him the release he seemed to be reaching, and began to increase her speed. This only amplified the whimpers Harry let out, and she was empowered by knowing she was doing a good job.
She wanted to get him to cum quick, and given how much he was moving, she assumed it was close. While Harry moaned and whined, (y/n) moved the fleshlight on his length faster, a clicking sound occurring from the spit she provided a few moments earlier to help with the friction. This sent Harry into an even deeper state, his hips now wriggling uncontrollably, his knees bending his legs alongside his thighs twitching. She loved seeing him unravel, loved seeing how much he struggled with knowing where to put his hands (assuming from the way he keeps them clenched at his sides, she believes he likes them to be tied). His heavy breathing, the sweat that was collecting on his chest from where she pushed his shirt up, just the way his legs were tensed was all driving her insane.
"You can cum, baby. Cum when you want, you know you deserved it," she said softly in his ear, in the most seductive tone he's ever heard from her.
Gasping at her words, his movements became even more intense if possible. It was obvious how sensitive he was. His hips began to move up to match the thrusts she set with the fleshlight, although he was unable to reach her fast pace.
Quickly, his breathing increased, heavy puffs coming out of his nose instead of his now normal moans. She knew it was coming, and the way his whole body clenched and jolted, she realized he was coming in the toy.
His face-God his face-was something she would never be able to erase. His eyebrows creased in the most euphoric way, this pleading look unwillingly showing on his face. His mouth was gaped open as his head tilted back without his consent, his body clearly overwhelmed with the current sensations.
Not wanting to torture him, she began to slow down her thrusts, enough to milk him without extreme overstimulation. She wasn't cruel, but ... that was something she could see herself doing to him eventually. As punishment. Sure.
Finally, his whimpers began once again since she still was moving the toy against him, although it was considerably slower than before. He began to whisper "please" over and over, and if she wasn't so close to him, she wouldn't have caught it.
"What's that baby?"
He turned to her, his eyes clearly exhausted. She finally stopped her movements on his cock, leaving the toy resting slightly on top of his head so that his cum leaked onto him. The hand that was in his curls moved to push the hair off his forehead, although it stuck because of the sweat he had accumulated from their short session.
"Done. I'm- done, please," he said airily, clearly speaking from a sub mindset. His chest was noticeably moving with his breaths, an indicator of the orgasm he just had.
"Yes you are, we're done. You did so well for me didn't you?" She asked, taking the toy off of him, and setting it on the bedside table. She'll clean it later. "I'm going to wipe you off, then we can take a nap? You seem tired."
He nodded aimlessly, clearly going with anything she says. "Please."
She gave him a smile, adoring how he kept his eyes shut, body meshing into the bed. Quickly finding a small face towel in his drawers, she cleaned him softly. "Do you want some clothes? Briefs?"
He shook his head, finally opening his eyes to her. His eyes seemed less fuzzy than before, but all he did was make grabby hands. How could she ignore that?
Pulling her leggings off, she brought herself to his bed, laying on her side and reaching to bring Harry into her chest. He had said before how much touch meant to him, and he was always hugging all of his friends. Because of this, it was no surprise how easily he gave into cuddling her breasts, wrapping an arm around her tight. She put both of her hands in his hair, petting his hair.
"Is this ... okay?" he hesitantly asked, the more realistic side of himself beginning to worry.
"Of course it is. Don't stress, it was really nice, yeah? We can talk about it after we wake up."
He loved how that sounded, her warm chest and enveloping arms enough to convince him that it wasn't worth worrying about. With a happy hum, he fell asleep in her arms, where he had always belonged.
_________
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH. V INTERESTING VIBES. LOL. TELL ME IF YOU HATE IT TELL ME IF YOU LOVE IT MWAH. no, but seriously first time writing smut smut, and idk. harder than I thought.
Requested: Yes! In the smuttiest of moods so here we go ;)
Word count: 4,220
Warnings: Smut
MasterlistΒ
Harry spices up his sex life with the help of his best friend.
It was no secret that Harry was attracted to you. And it was even no more of a secret that you were equally as attracted to him. But there was always this barrier, this sort of invisible force that kept the two of you in check.
For a while now, Harry had began to tire over his βvanillaβ sex life. Donβt get me wrong, it was still great but he was looking for a little.. more. And it wasnβt like he could consult his beautiful eager girlfriend about this βfantasyβ because he didnβt even have one.
One night stands were getting old, he was bored of having to go out searching for girls willing to sleep with him, he wanted someone to be with and hopefully she would be a little into the kinkier stuff as well.
But it didnβt help that the usual lay just wasnβt enough for him lately. Sex was getting boring- normal sex was getting boring. And Harry was left feeling even more unsatisfied before the night was even over. It was the mix of random girls and random fucks, it was so tiring and he had lost interest quickly.
His jeans always felt tight, constricting against his throbbing cock, his internet bill had doubled from the amount of porn he had been watching, and even his hand wasnβt doing the job these days. He needed a change- something more than just standard sex.
He needed you.
He had tried ignoring these strange feelings he got whenever you visited each other. Whether it was because of your lack of clothing- short shorts or baggy t-shirts, or just the cute little things you did that usually went unnoticed by most, including yourself.
It wasnβt until he was over at your apartment for a movie night that he finally found a solution. Harry wouldnβt label himself as snoopy, except he was. You didnβt mind though, there wasnβt much to hide in your quaint home and you were an open book to Harry.
But neither of you were expecting his spark of sudden interest when his hands wrapped around the cool silicone of your favourite toy. He had been searching for nail clippers- honest when he dug his hand into your bedside drawer.
There had been a few times when Harry had noticed your wild streak, catching you sending nudes to whomever your flame at the time was, you had on more than one occasion dragged him into your favourite lingerie store for some new knickers.
He just hadnβt put the puzzle together. Maybe it was when you two were spending a day at the pool and your bikini was so clad it left little to imagination. Maybe it was the way your tight white costume wasnβt see-through, but you could see the indents of your well-rounded breasts covered by the damp material. Maybe it was the way the bottoms had risen up slightly, showing your plump ass cheeks that made his hands ache to touch them. Maybe it was just your body in general, the way your hair cascaded down your bare back and the way your curves fell right where he wanted them. Maybe it was then that Harry stopped seeing you as βjust a friend.β
And fuck, he couldnβt escape this now. Just the thought of you teasing yourself with the vibrating toy had him twitching in his pants. He could hear you messing around in the kitchen down the hall and he had to rake his fingers down his arm to scold himself for the filthy thoughts plaguing his mind.
Shutting the draw he hastily fixed his hair and stumbled back towards you. Your body was faced away from him, leaning slightly against the counter as you watched the popcorn bag rotating in the microwave. Your legs looked like they reached for heaven, Harryβs worn-out blue and white flannel buttoned loosely across your torso. Pants were scarce in your household βtheyβre so constricting and unnecessaryβ you had told him when you both first started hanging out together. Your skin was a little darker than usual, you were recently back from a holiday at the sea side and you hadnβt stopped bragging about the slight change in tone since you returned.
You hadnβt looked back since Harry left the room but you knew he was watching you quietly from the doorway. βWant butter or salt and vinegar?β he had a habit of changing his mind and tonight would be no different. βHm, what do you feel like, love?β your cheeks reddened before you smiled warmly. βYβknow butters my favourite.β With that, you tilted on your tippee-toes, opening the cabinet above the microwave where the spices were held- even though you were a reasonable amount shorter than the cupboard itself.
Harryβs sharp intake of breath didnβt go unnoticed, how could it? Your- his shirt had hiked up your legs leaving little to imagination. Your ass was barely visible but the tight stretch of muscle your thighs consisted of drove Harry crazy.
He looked away reluctantly, hoping that you hadnβt heard his gasp but secretly wishing you would. If you did notice, you didnβt say anything, just continued to place the steaming curdles into a bowl and adding an excessive amount of flavouring to them.
Harry still hadnβt moved from his spot- his feet and his eyes glued to your moving body. His orbs followed your legs as you grabbed the bowl, taking his hand in the process and dragged him into the living room where he had earlier set up some blankets.
Once settled, the movie he had picked droned on. He was too focused on the beauty sitting to his left, too focused on the way your fingers were rubbing circles on his hipbone, too focused on your head leant against his shoulder. Your skin was burning into his, ironically freezing him.
It wasnβt hard to realise that Harry was no longer paying attention. His eyes shifted to your still body as the minutes ticked on, creating wicked fantasies of you pinned underneath his sweaty body. His hand subconsciously trailed down to his crotch, rubbing slightly.
He even forgot you were sitting right next to him, scolding himself for being so foolish. Finally the credits rolled, a relieved sigh slipping past his parted lips, causing you to giggle lightly. Lifting your head and turning your body to face his you said, βLets do something fun.β Harryβs mind raced at the thousands of things he wanted to do with you- do to you, but he quickly shushed them.
βLike what?β you hadnβt thought that far ahead, all ideas quickly fading as your stared curiously at Harry. His hair was messier than usual today, bordering tangled but still somehow falling in delicate ringlets. His stubble was more visible- he had only been growing it for 20 years. He was dressed in a tight plain black shirt; you had borrowed it on occasion when staying at his house. It reminded you of how good he smelt- peppermint had soon become your favourite after spending so much time with him.
βBabe youβre staring.β He chuckled. You had been caught so many times gazing at him that you had lost count. It must have been obvious by now that you were interested in him, the staring only proved this. It was an absolute nightmare being so close to him without being able to touch him. To properly touch him. To wrap your legs around his waist, to create knots in his hair, to leave grazes down his spine.
Maybe it was wrong to think about your best friend like that- but how could you not? He was practically perfect and you were always put on edge by his effortless looks. Perhaps your fantasies had consisted of him once or twice- or at least on ten separate occasions.
βSorryβ you whined, βWanna play truth or dare?β he asked quizzically, βNooooβ you groaned, βAll you ever pick is truth and Iβm way too lazy to end up naked and running down a street at this point.β It had happened more than once and although Harryβs mind always jumped at the thought of your bare body, he was trying desperately to stop his bulge that was already starting to form.
βFine then lets just ask truths.β He concluded. βAsk truths?β βYeah ask truths. That way no one ends up cold or naked and we can still be entertained.β βSeems fair, alright you start.β You sat up straight now, crossing your legs. He copied your actions, βUm, shit thereβs not a lot I donβt already know about youβ he rubbed his palm across his forehead. βOh cβmon think of something!β he thought about it for a few moments longer, βIβm stumped. You go first then.β He pushed. You scoffed, βAlright when was the last time you had sex?β Harry was sort of startled by your bold choice, βLike a month agoβ it pained him to say it, the words getting stuck to his palate.
βA month? The Harry Styles hasnβt had sex in a month? How is that even possible?β you were shocked, you two had occasionally spoken about your sex lives but you really couldnβt believe someone as popular and as good looking as Harry hadnβt been relieved in over four weeks.
βWell when was the last time you had sex?β you shrugged, βI donβt know, I donβt keep track.β It was true, and just like you didnβt believe Harry hadnβt had sex in a month, he didnβt believe you.
βSo tell me, how have you not gotten laid in a month?β it shouldnβt have been such a shock but you were having a hard time believing that this was even possible. βNo particular reason I guess,β βor Iβm so fucking tired of missionary I would rather put my hand on a hot plate than do it anytime soonβ βand donβt get me started on the fact that Iβm tired of fucking randoms and would rather fuck my best friend, no biggie.β You scoffed again, βOh please- you can get any girl you want and youβre telling me youβre okay with your hand?β you were never one to be shy around Harry.
βWell no I guess thereβs obviously a reason..β βAnd that is..?β you were not letting him get away with vague answers. When his eyebrows scrunched together you groaned, βOh come on Harry you can tell me!β βFine! I guess Iβm just- Iβm just tired of sex?β βTired of sex?β this man practically lived for sex, there was absolutely no way he could ever tire of sex. βNo not of sex- just Iβm tired of sex with random girls and same old sex. I kind of want something more? Something different?β
βAnyways, itβs my turnβ he changed, βHow often do you use that vibrator thatβs in your bedside drawer?β you almost choked on thin air, how did he even know about that? βUh, I donβt know whenever I need to?β βCβmon y/n be more specific! When was the last time you used it?β your cheeks involuntarily reddened at his eagerness, βUm probably two or three days ago? I donβt know whenever I need it I guess.β Harry was satisfied with that answer- for the moment.
You pretended to take a while to think up a question when in reality it had taken you less than a few seconds to know exactly what to ask Harry. βWho do you fantasise about when youβre yβknow, wanking?β he looked down immediately, a strand of hair falling across his forehead, covering his emerald eyes.
You were so focused on the finer details of his face, studying him as if it were the first time you were ever looking at him, that you barely heard him mutter something under his breath. βPardon?β you asked. βI uh- I said I fantasise about you.β You swear your heart stopped- that or it was beating so fast you couldnβt really tell the difference.
βMe?β you have to admit it would be hard to believe someone like Harry Styles would be fantasising about his best friend when he could easily be getting laid by half the population of runway models. His cheeks were stained a shade of pink that soon became your favourite- his eyes refusing to connect with yours. βYeah, you.β
You couldnβt help yourself, βWhy me?β his head snapped up, forehead creasing as he looked at you incredulously, βWhat do you mean βwhy meβ? Why not you?β βBecause youβre you and Iβm just- Iβm just me.β You sighed defeated, head dipping.
His cold hands wrapped around your flushed cheeks making you jump slightly although he ignored it and wrapped them tighter, his thumb sweeping gently across the skin just below your eye. βBecause youβre beautiful, and sexy- fuck youβre so sexy! In my shirts, in your bikiniβs, in jeans or dresses or pyjamas, youβre always so sexy. And your eyes are so crystal and entrancing and I canβt help but fantasise about us waking up under the sheets in the same bed every morning and fuck I canβt help but fantasise about you moaning my name underneath those same sheets.β
You donβt really remember leaning forward and attaching your lips to Harryβs, you do however remember his hand slipping down and wrapping around the back of your neck as he kissed you back. His lips were soft and firm and when his tongue grazed against your lower lip you almost lost it. Pulling him closer to you by his collar, yours and Harryβs chests pressed firmly together.
Your hands skimmed down the bottom of his shirt, raking your nails softly up his flexed torso. He groaned softly, pushing you back slightly. His teeth nibbled at your collar bone, loving the foreign feeling of his mouth on your skin.
The sofa was becoming claustrophobic- you were so wrapped up in one another that the air around you became sticky and Harry was sure he was going to bust in his jeans if he didnβt get you to a broader surface soon. His lips detached from yours momentarily, dragging your panting body out of your seat and towards the bedroom, you couldnβt help but stumble over yourself- your mind swimming with thoughts of Harry.
After what felt like centuries, the two of you managed (barely) to make your way down the passage and Harry landed softly at the end of the matris. He spread his legs, making space for your body to slot in between. You took a moment to look at him. Just look at him. His lips were swollen and parted slightly; you smiled knowing you caused that. His shirt was crinkled and hanging strangely off of his heavy panting chest- before you could properly admire him, he reached forwards, wrapping his large hands around your waist and pulled you forwards.
You slipped easily between his legs, only having to bend down slightly to come face-to-face with him. You pressed a soft kiss to his bee-stung lips and he smiled slightly, which made you smile. You were both smiling messes before his hands skimmed the bottom of your shirt, slipping easily under the material. He took no time in finding the mounds of your breasts and resting his large hands on them, giving a cheeky squeeze. You gasped and Harry released a long puff of breath before he captured your lips in another hot and passionate kiss.
His tongue pressed past your lips and twirled endlessly with yours. He tasted like the watermelon gum he seemed to be chewing every moment of every day, and there was a faint tinge of salted butter every now and then that made you crave him just that much more. You could tell he was beginning to get uncomfortable craning neck so swinging your left leg of his jean-clad thigh, you sat half in his lap.
Harry couldnβt keep his hands still, he was aching to explore every inch of your body- but he was so needy, so desperate for the relief he knew you would give him. His hands were still buried in your shirt, rubbing patterns on your lower back. You were as impatient as he was, taking the initiative to slip your hands into the folds of his shirt and help him remove it altogether. His skin was flexed as your hand roamed the entirety of his chest. He whispered βfuckβ almost inaudibly as your fingers dipped lower, finally settling over the bulge in his jeans.
Being with Harry was like euphoria, you were so caught up in all of him that you could barely keep your hands still long enough to get his belt unbuckled without his help. He chuckled, replacing your hands with his own, removing the belt and helping you off of his legs, pulling his tight jeans to the floor- stepping out of them hastily.
His hands were back on you before you could even blink, wrapping his arm around your waist and walking the two of you back towards the bed. Your back was laid on the cotton material of your comforter, hair fanning out around you. His lips were attached to your neck now, leaving nibbles and kisses all along the entirety of them before he stopped at the base of your neck. You let out a soft moan before he bit softly onto your skin. Your fingers latched into his hair, nails curling against the scalp.
His hands worked at unbuttoning the material covering your torso, eyes bulging when your/ his shirt finally opened, revealing a black laced bra he had once seen in your drawer and wondered how it would look on your soft skin. βI like these,β he said tickling the material. You smiled, βthought you might.β His hands trailed down further, fingers rubbing between the elastic of your knickers. He looked down quickly, βI like these even more.β You only giggled pulling him closer for another kiss.
His hands reached behind you, raising your back slightly off of the bed, using one hand to unclip your bra. Your hands worked quickly, removing the material from your body, discarding it somewhere on the opposite side of the bed. He pressed his chest to yours before he lowered his hips, grinding his crotch against yours.
You moaned simultaneously, your hips raising to meed his as he ground down on you again. You could feel his stiff cock through the restraints of his boxers and as you were about to slip your hands into the material, releasing him from the confinements, he hastily stopped.
You laid your head back on the bed eyes flashing with worry as you wondered what you had done wrong. He leaned over you, chest pressing to yours as he reached his flexed arm out and opened the drawer of your bed side table. Still confused, you turned you head to see what he was doing. His hand dug around for a moment before he smiled satisfied, pulling his hand along with an object from the drawer.
Your eyes widened as you realised what was wrapped around his hand. Your vibrator. He smiled wickedly and pressed the βonβ button. It shook supply in his hand. He looked you directly in the eyes, βI want you to use this,β he blinked, βon yourself.β Your stomach churned at the idea of doing something so personal in front of him, but you couldnβt deny the tingling between your thighs at the thought of it.
Reaching out to take the toy from him, his hand quickly jerked away. βOne rule. You are not allowed to use it where you want it most. Thatβs only for me.β You whined slightly, desperate for some kind of contact. Reaching out again, he finally placed the vibrator in your hand, sliding off of your body and sitting himself at the end of the bed to get a better view.
Taking the familiar toy in your hand, you closed your eyes and tried to picture yourself alone. If it werenβt for the handsome man gasping across from you, you would have believed it. You placed the toy on the bridge of your nipple, sighing as it immediately pebbled, arousing you further. You ran it around the nub before guiding it across the valley of your chest, repeating the action on your other nipple.
You could hear his breathing become heavier as you dipped the vibration lower, down the entirety of your torso. It stopped just above your panties as you slowly dragged it over your clit, moaning audibly at the tingle. Rolling it around a few times, you could feel the material covering your heat becoming damper. Before you could continue, Harryβs hand reached out and stopped you, taking the vibrator for himself.
βFuck thatβs hot.β He knelt before you, dipping his finger into your knickers, rubbing his finger slowly across your throbbing pussy. βSo wet already,β he sighed contently, rubbing his hand up and down your slit once more. He finally relieved you, hooking his fingers into the waist band, tugging it torturously down your legs. He looked you up and down before smiling widely. βJust as pretty as I thought youβd be kitten.β
You had almost forgotten of the jiggling toy lying on the bed, before Harry retrieved it once again. He ran it up your legs, stopping momentarily at you thighs before taking you completely by surprise when he plunged it deep inside you. You arched your back off of the bed, whining lightly as it tingled inside of you. Harry leaned forward, crawling on top of you so you were eye level now. He removed the toy, rubbing it around your clit as your hands fisted the sheets.
Moving it into you once again, he swirled the vibrator around, exploring all of your walls. The vibrations were strong and had your thighs quivering as Harry continued to tease at your nerve bundle. βHarry I,β you tried to say but he plunged back into you again making you gasp out in pleasure. βIβm gonna,β he didnβt let you finish; he pushed the toy back into your opening, turning your vision blurry. He worked the vibrator at your clit, helping you ride out your high until you were panting heavily.
He removed the vibrator completely, switching it off and tossing it to the side as he crawled back on top of you. You opened your eyes, staring into his deep forest ones as your wrapped your hand around the back of his neck, pulling him in for another heated kiss. His tongue laced with yours as you reached down, wrapping your fingers around the waist band of his boxers, attempting to rid him of them. His hands joined yours as he briefly lifted himself off of the bed and removed them from his legs.
You felt his cock brush against your thigh and you were instantly soaked. For the second third time that night, Harry opened your drawer, retrieving a little silver wrapper. He pulled it apart with his teeth, looking incredibly sexy might I add, before his fumbled around, slipping the protector over his throbbing member. He pressed a sloppy kiss to your neck and below your ear whispering, βready?β you nodded swiftly.
He rubbed himself up and down your slit before he eased himself into you. Both you and Harry moaned out as he pushed himself deeper until he was filling you completely. βFuckβ he whispered pulling out and plunging back into you. βYouβre so,β he thrust back into you, βfucking,β another thrust, βtight y/n.β
You whined bucking your hips up to meet his as you created a rhythm. He bent down and attached his lips to your nipple as your nails raked down his back. He bit softly and thrust deeply into you again. He treated your other nipple the same, thrusting in and out of you as your body rose to meet his.
His thrusts were becoming sloppier and you could tell he was close. You wrapped your left leg around his hip giving him a new angle as he pulled out, only his tip remaining before he plunged back in and curved upwards, hitting your g-spot. You cried out, nails digging into him harder, βfuck, Harry, right, there,β you panted. He obliged, curling again and hitting you right where you needed him. His thumb came down against your sensitive clit and he rubbed circles in it, blurring your vision for the second time that evening.
He came shortly after, releasing into the condom as he lazily thrust into you a few more times as you both rode out your highs. He lay panting on top of you for a moment before he pulled out, removing and tying up the condom before he collapsed next to you on the bed.
Β His eyes fluttered shut but his strong arm wrapped around your torso, pulling you into his side. He smiled down at you, dazed, lashes thick with dew. You smiled back, only making him smile more. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. Before he sighed contently, βThatβs what Iβve been missing out on? Where have you been all my life?β Β
β¦..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
the last time I reblogged this post right before I got a great job, in a permanent work-from-home position, with benefits, retirement, and a salary literally 3x what I was making before, doing something I really like.Β
So, I was looking through my old prompts and I havenβt done this in 2 years, so I thought Iβd do an update! Some of you have requested smut prompts as well, so here you are~ I would say that this post is 18+, but I know that there will be people younger than that reading this, therefore there is no age limit, but this is adult content.
This is an explicit post.
As usual, this is a smut-based prompt list, SO PLEASE READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION. This is not for the faint of heart and it might be trash because Iβm not someone who usually writes smut~
This story contains: dirty talk, mommy kink, praising, thigh riding, hand job.
βCan we just cuddle for a while?β, he asks in small voice, looking at her with his lips pouted. Harry is always quite clingy but there are some days when itβs on another level. His voice is quieter than usual and eyes have that begging look.
Harry sits on her lap, with head resting on her shoulder, as she gently strokes his soft curly hair. He lets out an involuntary moan, when Y/N leaves a tender kiss on his earlobe. βYou like it?β, she asks already knowing the answer.
She keeps placing wet gentle kisses around Harryβs ears, making him squirm on her thighs. This area has always been very sensitive, so Y/N tries to pay enough attention to it during foreplay.
Harry can't stop panting while his neck is being kissed, licked and sucked gently, leaving barely visible hickeys on the skin. These actions drive him crazy, making his cock twitch. He starts grinding on her thick thighs, trying to get some friction.
βAw, baby. Already so desperate to cum, how cuteβ, she coos, pulling him into a hard kiss right after. Harry melts at the feeling of soft warm lips against his own. His lips parted slightly, allowing Y/Nβs tongue to slip inside.
βBaby, how about you take your pants off so you can ride my thigh properly?β He reaches for the waistband of his pants, but suddenly remembers something. Y/N sees a slightly worried look on his face so she immediately asks, βWhatβs wrong, honey?β
Well, Harry fully understands that she wonβt judge him, but this is something new, so heβs a little nervous. He wanted to try it for a long time and she knows it, he was gonna show it to her anyway today, so he quickly takes off his pants and sits back down.
Y/N stares at him adoringly, seeing pale pink lace panties that look so cute on him. She looks up at his face, glossy eyes and flushed cheeks make him even more beautiful that she wants to cry.
βYouβre so pretty it hurts, baby. I love your new panties, you look amazing.β His eyes sparkle at her words and he says, βThank you, mommy. I was a bit unsure at first but I really like it, I think I look cute.β Y/N smiles back, whispering into his neck, βThe prettiest baby ever.β
Harry is so glad he has her in his life. A person with whom heβs not afraid to be honest and vulnerable, who makes him feel like the most loved person in the world, who always makes him feel safe. Harry really couldnβt ask for more.
His skin burns with each new touch, his breath hitching as she swirls her tongue over his pink, hard nipples. βYou like it when i play with your nipples, don't you? I'll buy you pink clamps to match your cute panties, how does that sound?β Harry moans at the thought of it, saying, βUgh..mommy..yes, sounds so fucking good.β
Harry starts to rock on Y/Nβs thigh more confidently, hands gripping her shoulders and his whimpers are getting louder from all these sensations. He never gets enough of her touches, kisses and dominant tone, he always craves more of it. Harry is a pretty greedy slut for all these things , but heβs her greedy slut.
βFuck, mommyβ¦feels so goodβ, he says in high-pitched voice, as she bites his sensitive nipples and licks right after. Slight pain brings him a lot of pleasure, making him move his hips faster and harder. βRiding me so good, look at your pretty cock, baby.β
Harry sees his hard cock slipping out of his panties. Itβs been hard for too long, heβll cry from helplessness, if he doesn't cum. He looks up at Y/N with pleading eyes, murmuring βI need your handβ¦need to cum, please.β
Y/N doesn't need to be told twice, she reaches down and grabs his cock, stroking along his length. She moves her hand up and down, using the perfect amount of pressure. Y/N tightens her fist and keeps pumping him, looking right into his eyes.
Harry can only moan and whine, his head is empty, the only thought is his impending orgasm. βAhh..so close, mommyβ, he moans out, encouraging Y/N to move her hand harder. βAngel, youβre such a pretty mess for me. Cum for mommy like a good boy you are.β
Thatβs when he exploded all over her hand with a desperate cry. Heβs trying to get back to normal breathing as he sees Y/N, licking every drop of cum from her palm and fingers, with a satisfied moan, βFuck, baby, you taste so goodβ
This image can bring him to the grave. Heβs incredibly overwhelmed by it all, his eyes are almost closed, lips are swollen from bites, and his breathing is still heavy.
He looks fucking wrecked and itβs all just from hand job. Y/N loves how easily he can get to that point. She runs her hand through his hair, pulling him into a slow soft kiss.
βMy good boy, did so well for meβ, she coos between kisses, making him blush even more. Her words warm his heart, truly making him the happiest boy in the world. βMβ your good boy, mommy. Only yours.β
(y/n) was sat at her desk, smiling at her students through Zoom as they were currently engaged in a conversation about their own relationship experiences about compatibility. Today's lecture was based upon different theories of predictors of divorce, and it was always one of her favorite topics. Not only was she able to advise a group of young individuals about what they should strive towards, but she could also tell them red flags that were statistically necessary to avoid. It was also slightly amusing to her to see some students realize they were in relationships that wouldn't work out. It was always funny (although, sad) to see some students' eyes widen in realizing they needed to talk with their partner ASAP.
"As we come to an end, I want to talk about some more predictors that will really solidify a healthy relationship. As you all move towards marriage therapy in the future, these are topics you will hear about endlessly that tear partners apart."
Although the two were only together for four months, they both had keys to each other's apartments. They were very comfortable with one another despite being 'early' in the relationship, and they would often go to each other's homes in seek of comfort. Today, Harry had closed his shop early since he hadn't received a shipment of flowers. Realizing he wouldn't have much to sell, he decided to go see his love.
He knew she had a class to teach at this time, so he quietly made his way around her apartment, leading into the kitchen. After making a cup of tea as quietly as possible, he walked into her room. It was very comforting for him to hear her lecture, so he was looking forward to hearing her "professor" voice.
Thankfully, the way her room was arranged, did not allow her students to see Harry entering her room, but she offered him a smile nonetheless.
"So, as you can see on the PowerPoint, these are really the three things you and your future partner should be aligned on. When it comes to therapy, a couple will almost always come to you because they have some sort of disagreement on these three."
Harry had been fascinated with her area of focus as a professor, finding that marriage studies was something that suited her very well. Equally so, (y/n) was infatuated with Harry's job as a florist and now always had a lively home thanks to him.
"I'm going to go through each one very quickly, and then we'll go through questions so you all can finally get out of Zoom prison."
Harry sipped his tea as he heard the small chuckles from her class.
"First, money. I don't think many people realize how big of an issue this can become when they just start dating. This refers to how each party spends or saves it. Of course, you have your spenders that don't mind indulging in their pleasures whereas the opposed tend to save every penny they get. When two people are dating, they might note these differences and find them endearing but they will eventually become a big source of tension. In a marriage, finances are crucial and it can be difficult to be with someone who doesn't see your view on how to spend or save money. Especially when it comes to raising your own family.
"Next, we have sex." (y/n) gave a smile to her computer, already expecting her students to laugh. "I know, I know. But really, having an incompatible sex life can cause a divorce! What I mean by this is you typically see partners come into therapy because the other doesn't want to have sex as often, or maybe they want sex too frequently. Even, you'll hear about partners who want different things in bed," more laughter arose from her students, "so it's really important to establish what you like in bed." (y/n) didn't shy away from topics that were slightly uncomfortable, because she hoped students could learn from her not only for their profession but in their personal lives as well.
"Finally we have children. This one is kind of obvious, you either want kids or don't and a lot of arguments can come from disagreements about this. I've witnessed couples in therapy that are emotionally dysregulated because they agreed to have children when they never wanted to. Or, the complete opposite, where one party had to give up their dream to be a parent."
At this, a student spoke, "I see how all of these things can bring up problems, but I'm trying to figure out how I would even bring this up in my own relationship. It'd be kind of weird to bring it up now since we've been together for three years?"
(y/n) nodded along, Harry noting how she presented as more professional during her lectures. "This is a great question that I wanted to lead into. It really is recommended you have these conversations early. Some of these behaviors can be noticed early on, such as if your partner is a spender or is more frugal. You might also be able to observe stuff like sex behaviors, but there are partners who save sex for later in a relationship. So, although it might be strange, you should note from our prior chapter about those deep conversations we are meant to have with our partner once a week. These 'State of the Unions' as described in our previous book is so that we can talk about what went well and what could improve in the week. You can take this time to ask your partner how they prefer to spend their money, or what they want out of your sex life. A lot of people don't do this, but it really is necessary to establish how frequently you want to have sex each week and what you want to use in bed," at this, even (y/n) gave a small laugh, noticing her students faces. "Conversations about childbearing can definitely be sprinkled in, and you can talk more deeply to your partner about how you envision your life in the future as a parent. I see in your case you've passed the getting to know you stage, but I would recommend you sit down and get down to the nitty-gritty of it all. For others, I wouldn't talk about how many kids you want during the first date, but these three topics are definitely worth mentioning early!"
Harry was focused on what (y/n) was saying. He always thought that their relationship was surely one to last since she teaches others about the foundations of relationships. He has noticed that she's more rational than him, and does things with reason.
After some more quick questions, (y/n) finally let her class go a few minutes before they were meant to end. Sighing, she stretched and made her way to Harry on the bed. He was already sitting with his back against the headboard, making it easy for her to strip her top layers (she had pajama shorts, she never wore slacks/skirts during Zoom meetings, don't tell her students) and rest her body on his.
Instantly, Harry's hands made their way to massage her back, caressing her. "Last class, right?"
"Mhm."
He looked down, seeing her eyes closed.
"Hard day, baby?"
(y/n) rubbed her face further into his chest, breathing him in. "No, I just missed you."
With a breathy laugh, Harry said "saw me last night."
"Shush. Why'd you get out of work early? Not that I'm complaining of course" (y/n) could spend all day in his chest, it was the perfect combination of warm, soft, breathing in his musk/cologne.
He moved one hand up to massage her scalp, knowing that it tend to hurt the longer she was on Zoom. "Missed shipment. Lectures went well?"
Laughing, (y/n) smiles, "You caught the most entertaining part of my lectures. Other class dealt with grooming and the whole child predators thing."
"Yeah, I'm glad I was able to sit in, learned a thing or two." He gave a chuckle that made (y/n) move on his chest, making her smile too. "It's so nice dating a marriage professor, I don't know why everyone isn't."
(y/n) finally sat up to look at Harry, amused at his conversation. "There's not enough of us to go around, you're lucky, baby."
"Always lucky with you." he smiled, dimples prominent. "You mentioned talking about those three things with your partner earlier but we never had. Is it too early?"
Sighing, (y/n) looked at him with a guilty smile. "Sure I teach this stuff for a living but I'm not an expert on how to do it in real-time. But no, it's not too early, I always recommend new relationships talk about it roughly a month or two in."
"Oooh," Harry smiled, moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively on the conversation they were surely about to have.
"Okay fine. I'll start with money. I always have wanted hefty savings as a backup of any and every worst-case scenario but you've already seen that I do like to indulge ... frequently."
The two looked at each other with such adoration, still in the beginning stages of their relationship. "I think I'm the same. But I really don't mind spending money on experiences, I think that's pretty important."
"Weird way of saying we should go on vacation soon," (y/n) laughed.
"Loser," he smiled back, "as for sex, I would say we're pretty compatible." Harry gave (y/n) a cheeky smile, causing her to let out a snort she was trying to conceal.
"Oh my god, Harry." She started to blush, shaking her head.
"Oh better yet, we should talk about frequency, no? I love loving on you whenever I can. Daily, if you'll let me."
"Daily? If you even have enough stamina." This elicited a fake hurt gasp from Harry, making the two chuckle. "As for what we like, we should be lucky we're especially compatible with that. I mean, two switches? Who would've thought."
"A girl who lets me fuck her senseless but also fucks me? Match made in heaven," he dreamily sighed. In response, (y/n) swatted at his chest with a smile.
"Finally, child-bearing." (y/n) resumed with the list.
"Definitely never," (y/n) stated at the same time Harry let out a happy: "I want four babies!"
The two looked at each other, although they weren't sure if it was out of fear or shock.
Harry was the first to break the silence, "what do you mean 'never'."
With a blank stare, (y/n) calmly answered: "It's never been a dream of mine to be a mother, Harry. In fact, it's a nightmare to give birth to a child. To raise them. I'm not made for it."
Instantly, Harry felt himself crumble at the thought of his future tumbling with the only woman he saw could be a part of it. "What? What do you mean by that?"
(y/n) eyebrows were furrowed, not expecting their conversation to take this turn. "I really don't know how else to explain it, Harry. That's not what I want."
"But I do." He felt frustrated, always assuming that they were so similar that this conversation wouldn't be any different.
(y/n) shook her head, sitting up to look at the bedsheets instead of his eyes. "I don't know what to say. I know what I want and I can't ask you to compromise your dreams because I wouldn't do the same."
"You don't want to have kids with me? I know it's early but, you don't see that for us?"
Exasperated, she looked at him, her eyes begging "I don't want that with anyone Harry! I've never wanted that!"
"But you study marriages and families!"
"That doesn't mean I actually want a fucking 'family,' I won't be content by having offspring, Harry!"
The two sat in silence, realizing the implications of the conversation. They both knew where this was going, but were both afraid to say anything more.
After a few minutes, Harry finally spoke up, although soft enough that (y/n) wouldn't be able to hear if she wasn't right by his side on the bed. "What ... does this mean for us, (y/n)?"
(y/n) knew exactly what it meant, she had been teaching the downfall of relationships for a few years now. "If we don't have a future, Harry, then we shouldn't continue."
He was expecting it, but it still tore his heart to hear those words come out of the girl he loves. He felt his eyes water, opting to squeeze them shut while praying the past ten minutes were a joke. Shortly, he heard the girl of his dreams sniffling at his side. Finally looking over, he saw her rubbing her eyes harshly. Harry slowly reached a hand up, moving her hands. "Please, baby, you're hurting your eyes."
As she looked at him, he saw the tears that kept spilling from her eyes without her control. Barely making out the words through her sobs, (y/n) cried to him, "I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry. I didn't think- it's just who I am, and- Harry, you deserve your family."
Sighing as silent tears fell on his face, he brought her into his arms once again, although the atmosphere had shifted from when she was in his chest moments ago. "It's okay, baby. Don't blame yourself, it's okay."
The two cried with one another, coming to the realization that they wouldn't be together anymore if they didn't have a future. Soon enough, they realized, their apartments would both lose the touch of one another.
Instead of facing the implications of this unexpected separation, they tightly held each other instead, warding off thoughts of their future without each other.
u think i am joking but this is genuinely how i look while writing: βgod, youβre so fucking wetβ and βsuch a good girlβ for the hundreth time in my miserable existence
request: harry helping y/n through panic attack on a date
word count: 3k
warnings: detailed description of anxiety, panic attacks/panic disorder
*** <β click throughout the story for visualsΒ
ββ
Y/N was already anxious as she peered out her apartment window for Harry. It was their first official date and the stomach-turning nerves were getting to her. She thought about texting him multiple times feigning a short-noticed illness but didnβt want to disappoint the boy she was infatuated with.
Itβs justβ¦this was so entirely out of her league. She hoped she was dressed appropriately for the restaurant that they were going to. A plunging black and white bodysuit tucked in tight black jeans - hoping to earn some brownie points with Harry for the Gucci belt. ****
When she googled La Cuisine de ma Mère, the whole menu was in French - which she did not speak so she attempted to google a few of the dishes to find something she could pronounce without sounding like an idiot.
It was in the heart of London, in a strip of buildings that were too high-end for her to have the need to go there. Let alone afford something in anyone of those shops.
Y/N was extremely outgoing and personable, it shocked most people that she struggled with a panic disorder. She was usually good at isolating herself when it got too overwhelming.
(y/n) was sat at her desk, smiling at her students through Zoom as they were currently engaged in a conversation about their own relationship experiences about compatibility. Today's lecture was based upon different theories of predictors of divorce, and it was always one of her favorite topics. Not only was she able to advise a group of young individuals about what they should strive towards, but she could also tell them red flags that were statistically necessary to avoid. It was also slightly amusing to her to see some students realize they were in relationships that wouldn't work out. It was always funny (although, sad) to see some students' eyes widen in realizing they needed to talk with their partner ASAP.
"As we come to an end, I want to talk about some more predictors that will really solidify a healthy relationship. As you all move towards marriage therapy in the future, these are topics you will hear about endlessly that tear partners apart."
Although the two were only together for four months, they both had keys to each other's apartments. They were very comfortable with one another despite being 'early' in the relationship, and they would often go to each other's homes in seek of comfort. Today, Harry had closed his shop early since he hadn't received a shipment of flowers. Realizing he wouldn't have much to sell, he decided to go see his love.
He knew she had a class to teach at this time, so he quietly made his way around her apartment, leading into the kitchen. After making a cup of tea as quietly as possible, he walked into her room. It was very comforting for him to hear her lecture, so he was looking forward to hearing her "professor" voice.
Thankfully, the way her room was arranged, did not allow her students to see Harry entering her room, but she offered him a smile nonetheless.
"So, as you can see on the PowerPoint, these are really the three things you and your future partner should be aligned on. When it comes to therapy, a couple will almost always come to you because they have some sort of disagreement on these three."
Harry had been fascinated with her area of focus as a professor, finding that marriage studies was something that suited her very well. Equally so, (y/n) was infatuated with Harry's job as a florist and now always had a lively home thanks to him.
"I'm going to go through each one very quickly, and then we'll go through questions so you all can finally get out of Zoom prison."
Harry sipped his tea as he heard the small chuckles from her class.
"First, money. I don't think many people realize how big of an issue this can become when they just start dating. This refers to how each party spends or saves it. Of course, you have your spenders that don't mind indulging in their pleasures whereas the opposed tend to save every penny they get. When two people are dating, they might note these differences and find them endearing but they will eventually become a big source of tension. In a marriage, finances are crucial and it can be difficult to be with someone who doesn't see your view on how to spend or save money. Especially when it comes to raising your own family.
"Next, we have sex." (y/n) gave a smile to her computer, already expecting her students to laugh. "I know, I know. But really, having an incompatible sex life can cause a divorce! What I mean by this is you typically see partners come into therapy because the other doesn't want to have sex as often, or maybe they want sex too frequently. Even, you'll hear about partners who want different things in bed," more laughter arose from her students, "so it's really important to establish what you like in bed." (y/n) didn't shy away from topics that were slightly uncomfortable, because she hoped students could learn from her not only for their profession but in their personal lives as well.
"Finally we have children. This one is kind of obvious, you either want kids or don't and a lot of arguments can come from disagreements about this. I've witnessed couples in therapy that are emotionally dysregulated because they agreed to have children when they never wanted to. Or, the complete opposite, where one party had to give up their dream to be a parent."
At this, a student spoke, "I see how all of these things can bring up problems, but I'm trying to figure out how I would even bring this up in my own relationship. It'd be kind of weird to bring it up now since we've been together for three years?"
(y/n) nodded along, Harry noting how she presented as more professional during her lectures. "This is a great question that I wanted to lead into. It really is recommended you have these conversations early. Some of these behaviors can be noticed early on, such as if your partner is a spender or is more frugal. You might also be able to observe stuff like sex behaviors, but there are partners who save sex for later in a relationship. So, although it might be strange, you should note from our prior chapter about those deep conversations we are meant to have with our partner once a week. These 'State of the Unions' as described in our previous book is so that we can talk about what went well and what could improve in the week. You can take this time to ask your partner how they prefer to spend their money, or what they want out of your sex life. A lot of people don't do this, but it really is necessary to establish how frequently you want to have sex each week and what you want to use in bed," at this, even (y/n) gave a small laugh, noticing her students faces. "Conversations about childbearing can definitely be sprinkled in, and you can talk more deeply to your partner about how you envision your life in the future as a parent. I see in your case you've passed the getting to know you stage, but I would recommend you sit down and get down to the nitty-gritty of it all. For others, I wouldn't talk about how many kids you want during the first date, but these three topics are definitely worth mentioning early!"
Harry was focused on what (y/n) was saying. He always thought that their relationship was surely one to last since she teaches others about the foundations of relationships. He has noticed that she's more rational than him, and does things with reason.
After some more quick questions, (y/n) finally let her class go a few minutes before they were meant to end. Sighing, she stretched and made her way to Harry on the bed. He was already sitting with his back against the headboard, making it easy for her to strip her top layers (she had pajama shorts, she never wore slacks/skirts during Zoom meetings, don't tell her students) and rest her body on his.
Instantly, Harry's hands made their way to massage her back, caressing her. "Last class, right?"
"Mhm."
He looked down, seeing her eyes closed.
"Hard day, baby?"
(y/n) rubbed her face further into his chest, breathing him in. "No, I just missed you."
With a breathy laugh, Harry said "saw me last night."
"Shush. Why'd you get out of work early? Not that I'm complaining of course" (y/n) could spend all day in his chest, it was the perfect combination of warm, soft, breathing in his musk/cologne.
He moved one hand up to massage her scalp, knowing that it tend to hurt the longer she was on Zoom. "Missed shipment. Lectures went well?"
Laughing, (y/n) smiles, "You caught the most entertaining part of my lectures. Other class dealt with grooming and the whole child predators thing."
"Yeah, I'm glad I was able to sit in, learned a thing or two." He gave a chuckle that made (y/n) move on his chest, making her smile too. "It's so nice dating a marriage professor, I don't know why everyone isn't."
(y/n) finally sat up to look at Harry, amused at his conversation. "There's not enough of us to go around, you're lucky, baby."
"Always lucky with you." he smiled, dimples prominent. "You mentioned talking about those three things with your partner earlier but we never had. Is it too early?"
Sighing, (y/n) looked at him with a guilty smile. "Sure I teach this stuff for a living but I'm not an expert on how to do it in real-time. But no, it's not too early, I always recommend new relationships talk about it roughly a month or two in."
"Oooh," Harry smiled, moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively on the conversation they were surely about to have.
"Okay fine. I'll start with money. I always have wanted hefty savings as a backup of any and every worst-case scenario but you've already seen that I do like to indulge ... frequently."
The two looked at each other with such adoration, still in the beginning stages of their relationship. "I think I'm the same. But I really don't mind spending money on experiences, I think that's pretty important."
"Weird way of saying we should go on vacation soon," (y/n) laughed.
"Loser," he smiled back, "as for sex, I would say we're pretty compatible." Harry gave (y/n) a cheeky smile, causing her to let out a snort she was trying to conceal.
"Oh my god, Harry." She started to blush, shaking her head.
"Oh better yet, we should talk about frequency, no? I love loving on you whenever I can. Daily, if you'll let me."
"Daily? If you even have enough stamina." This elicited a fake hurt gasp from Harry, making the two chuckle. "As for what we like, we should be lucky we're especially compatible with that. I mean, two switches? Who would've thought."
"A girl who lets me fuck her senseless but also fucks me? Match made in heaven," he dreamily sighed. In response, (y/n) swatted at his chest with a smile.
"Finally, child-bearing." (y/n) resumed with the list.
"Definitely never," (y/n) stated at the same time Harry let out a happy: "I want four babies!"
The two looked at each other, although they weren't sure if it was out of fear or shock.
Harry was the first to break the silence, "what do you mean 'never'."
With a blank stare, (y/n) calmly answered: "It's never been a dream of mine to be a mother, Harry. In fact, it's a nightmare to give birth to a child. To raise them. I'm not made for it."
Instantly, Harry felt himself crumble at the thought of his future tumbling with the only woman he saw could be a part of it. "What? What do you mean by that?"
(y/n) eyebrows were furrowed, not expecting their conversation to take this turn. "I really don't know how else to explain it, Harry. That's not what I want."
"But I do." He felt frustrated, always assuming that they were so similar that this conversation wouldn't be any different.
(y/n) shook her head, sitting up to look at the bedsheets instead of his eyes. "I don't know what to say. I know what I want and I can't ask you to compromise your dreams because I wouldn't do the same."
"You don't want to have kids with me? I know it's early but, you don't see that for us?"
Exasperated, she looked at him, her eyes begging "I don't want that with anyone Harry! I've never wanted that!"
"But you study marriages and families!"
"That doesn't mean I actually want a fucking 'family,' I won't be content by having offspring, Harry!"
The two sat in silence, realizing the implications of the conversation. They both knew where this was going, but were both afraid to say anything more.
After a few minutes, Harry finally spoke up, although soft enough that (y/n) wouldn't be able to hear if she wasn't right by his side on the bed. "What ... does this mean for us, (y/n)?"
(y/n) knew exactly what it meant, she had been teaching the downfall of relationships for a few years now. "If we don't have a future, Harry, then we shouldn't continue."
He was expecting it, but it still tore his heart to hear those words come out of the girl he loves. He felt his eyes water, opting to squeeze them shut while praying the past ten minutes were a joke. Shortly, he heard the girl of his dreams sniffling at his side. Finally looking over, he saw her rubbing her eyes harshly. Harry slowly reached a hand up, moving her hands. "Please, baby, you're hurting your eyes."
As she looked at him, he saw the tears that kept spilling from her eyes without her control. Barely making out the words through her sobs, (y/n) cried to him, "I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry. I didn't think- it's just who I am, and- Harry, you deserve your family."
Sighing as silent tears fell on his face, he brought her into his arms once again, although the atmosphere had shifted from when she was in his chest moments ago. "It's okay, baby. Don't blame yourself, it's okay."
The two cried with one another, coming to the realization that they wouldn't be together anymore if they didn't have a future. Soon enough, they realized, their apartments would both lose the touch of one another.
Instead of facing the implications of this unexpected separation, they tightly held each other instead, warding off thoughts of their future without each other.
y/n found out something she wasn't supposed to and she wished she could take it back
part one (gravity)
part two (momentum)
part three (magnetism)
part four (tension)
previous part (impulse)
βββββ
(Y/N) had been filled with butterflies in her tummy and cotton-candy clouds since Harry picked her up for a lunch date before he had to go into work. He had told her he wanted to take her somewhere he loved, which made her all the more excited for the date than normal. She noticed he tended to plan around everything she liked (aside from the scary movie date, of course), taking her to places he knew would make her happy and centering the conversation around her. She was bubbling at the idea of getting more of a peek into his life outside of the classroom, hoping to add another piece to the green-eyed and curly-haired puzzle that made up her Harry.
"I've never been down here before," (Y/N) prattled as she walked with Harry down the sloping sidewalk a couple of blocks away from campus.
Harry swung their joined hands between them, a serene smile on his face as he took in the leaves falling around them. He was bundled comfortably in one of his knitted jumpers, this one a bright fuchsia shade that matched the laces he had threaded through his shoes, the heavy sleeves periodically falling over their hands. "I used to come out here all the time m'first year. I had a lot of time on m'hands, so I liked to explore. Only a little further down," he mused, peering through the slowly baring trees, "Y'can see the awning from here, actually. 'S that green one down there."
(Y/N)'s eyes followed the finger he pointed out towards an emerald green awning that had fading letters in a font that resembled wood grain. She couldn't make out the words, but she could see why Harry was drawn to a location like that. Just from that glimpse, she could see how well he would fit into that sort of environment.
As they drew closer, she found a coffee shop directly next door, a conjoined sign between the two spaces showing they were in business together and stop by the other if you go to one. A cute patio space was arranged just to the left of the business strip, leaving the wrought iron frames to be glazed over in the orange of the falling leaves with a couple seated at the middle table, cups of coffee in hand.
Mumbling, Harry pulled her along inside the store adorned with the green awning, an old-school brass bell dinging above their heads, "This is where I used to come study if I wasn't at the library. There's a corner in the back with these really soft pillows y'can sit and read at."
Looking around, (Y/N) took in the rich, warm tones that decorated the space. The high shelves were made of clean, stained wood to show off the intricate grain. Hand drawn signs were posted on the bookends of each shelf, delegating which genre was housed on the shelves, decorated with hallmarks of that specific category. Potted plants in shades of soft green were dispersed throughout the shop with the pots decorated to match the jewel tones accenting the space. Bright pops of gold mixed in with burnt oranges and the deep green that colored the awning, giving the space a soft-focus vintage ambiance that drew (Y/N) in.
"It's cozy," she whispered back, Harry's dimples digging deeper into his cheeks.
"Hi, Harry! How are you? We haven't seen you here in a while," the girl behind the checkout desk bubbled, a genuine smile on her features as she set down the book she was paging through to give them the full of her attention.
The tips of his ears were tinted pink, the dusting matching the flush that climbed up his cheeks. Harry glanced down at her, mumbling under his breath, "I didn't think I came here that much."
A breathy laugh was drawn from (Y/N) as she dropped her gaze to their joined hands as Harry greeted the attendant. She could hear that pleasant small talk happening beside her though she was hooked on the volumes lining the shelves. This wasn't the kind of place she usually found herselfβnot for years, anyway. She used to be a bigger reader when she was younger, but now she barely picked up a book for fun now that she was too tired or too busy to do so. (Y/N) hadn't even realized she was drifting towards the stacks until her grip on Harry's hand slipped an inch before he rushed to replace his hold.
"Don't go without me," Harry quietly laughed, catching up with her after putting to rest the small talk with the girl up front.
"Sorry," she smiled over her shoulder, gazing at the spines of the classics they were currently perusing, "What do you usually read, Harry?"
For a flick, she swore she saw his eyes pause on the romance shelves across from them with his nose gaining a dusting of blush before he paid his attention to her. "Usually fantasy and silly things like that, I guess."
"I'm surprised," (Y/N) started, letting go of his hand to drag her finger over the spines but not without a bump of her hip against his, "I thought you only read scientific journals and research papers."
An easy smile bloomed over his features at her teasing, the deep dimples on his cheeks stealing the show. "Oh no, I only read those to relax."
She shook her head with a curl stretching her lips as she drifted through the shelves and out of view of his friend up front. Classic titles were designed with fairytale-esque covers, with a few new additions being treated with the same grandeur that made (Y/N) want to shell out the money for a hardback copy of a book she didn't know anything about. Nineties paperbacks dominated the lower shelves of the romance stacks while contemporary pieces she remembered from her teenage years were shelved along the top. All the while Harry followed closely behind, his eyes glancing at her more often than they flicked to the shelves.
Just when she was about to steer the two of them towards the fantasy shelves, hoping to peek into Harry's life, she saw one of the smaller shelves towards the back, full of books covered completely in opaque brown butcher's paper. Each spine had the simple title scrawled along the length with peeks of sticky notes stuck to the covers. (Y/N)'s eyes widened when she realized what she had found.
Letting out a soft gasp, she rushed over to the concealed stacks, only halfway aware of the laugh Harry let out as he followed her.
"Harry, look," she rushed in a hush tone, "It's like those ones on instagram and Pinterestβthose surprise book shelves."
She pulled out the first book she could settle her eyes on, the title including something about a court of flowers and grime or something. The sticky note pasted to the front denoted the genre of book with a few key points, detailing a side plot of a love story with fantastical elements and world building. The print of the cover was completely sealed, leaving only the librarian's praise and recommendations handwritten along the back and the short sticky note to help determine whether or not the book was her cup of tea.
"I know," Harry smiled, looking down at the addition in her hands, "I always want to grab one of these, but 'm too scared I'll only pick something I've already read or won't like."
(Y/N) looked up at him with what she was sure were wide eyes with hope swimming through the irises. "Could we pick books for each other? I'll try to pick something you haven't read!"
His smile turned lopsided as his softening eyes flitted over her features. "I'd love that. Pick whatever y'want for meβI trust you."
Practically bouncing in her spot, (Y/N) reshelved the book in her hand and didn't waste a second before her eyes were scanning over the covert volumes before her. She could feel Harry's gaze linger on her for a moment, the line of her body feeling the heat of his eyes before he averted his attention to the shelves.
"What do y'like to read?"
(Y/N) rolled her eyes, a lopsided smile catching at the corner of her lips that Harry had a hard time taking his eyes off of. "Would it surprise you if I told you I like romance or whatever it was that Twilight was considered?"
"Not at all," he teased. His own grin tugged at his lips; it's not like he could blame her, he liked the same stuff if he was being honest. He liked the thought of her curled up with a book in her small bedroom, heart fluttering over soft words and a world built off of romance.
She mumbled some retort he didn't quite catch before she fell into her job of finding the perfect book for Harry. He was just as eager to find something for her, hoping that with all the time he'd spent getting every story, every anecdote, every inside joke out of her that he could find something fitting for his flower.
At the thought of his secretly appointed nickname for her, Harry's finger stuttered over the parchment covered spine of a book entitled with something about roses. He'd been trying his best not to think of her with that name, fearing the word would slip out when he was actually with her. He wasn't sure she was ready to explain why he'd been adorning her with new nicknames in his head; half the time he was unable to think of her without calling her by one of the affectionate petnames.
"I think I found it!" (Y/N) chirped, standing the full of her height from where she had fallen to her knees searching through the bottom few shelves, "This one is yours!"
A bright smile stretched across her cheeks, lifting the rounded apples to cause crinkles to fold around her eyes and bring a glow to her skin. That smile was one of the first things that caught his attention when he saw her that first time in Prof. Stanfill's lecture hall. Naomi had made her laugh with a whispered joke under her breath while Stanfill was droning on at the front of the room, causing (Y/N) to brighten up and make him falter in his notes. That's why he took that seat beside her when he realized her friend was no longer showing up. He dreamed of making her smile like that, and now he had her looking up at him with stars in her eyes and her teeth bared in joy.
"Let me see, then," Harry requested, taking a half step towards her before she pulled the book tightly to her chest.
"No," she shook her head, "I want it to be a real surprise. I don't want you to know until you get home. I really think you're going to like it, Harry."
He didn't doubt for a second that he would like whatever she chose to give him.
With her eyes directed squarely on him, he felt flush. A blush crept up his cheeks as he dropped his gaze to the book he had absently pulled for her. Reading over the daffodil colored sticky note, he found the details of a supernatural romance recommended by the librarian working up front (her name was Erika, if he remembered correctly) between a human girl and a fae male. Not much else was given about the story, adhering to the mystery that went along with the nature of the shelves, other than how sweet it was and how "he falls first!". This would be perfect for herβor at the very least, be better than the physics texts she skimmed over with barren interest.
Though he tried to keep his brain in the present, Harry couldn't help but picture her bundled up in the bay window he was lucky enough to have in his bedroom (he was very lucky with apartment hunting he found). He could picture the makeshift cushions that lined the sill he had fashioned out of blankets he took from home when he moved out, nested around her while she had the book he had picked for her in her hands. In his head, he saw her with her eyes rounded out as she read the epic, a gasp falling from her mouth at a particularly romantic part or her hand fluttering to the base her neck when something broke her heart (in the best way possible of course, he wouldn't want her to read anything that made her sad). Maybe, she'd even let him read with her.
"I think I found yours, too, flower."
The second he processed what had come out of his mouth, Harry's cheeks went up in flames. The crimson coloring trailed over his neck and painted the tips of his ears while his heart worked double time in embarrassed beats. He knew he needed to be more careful.
Across from him, (Y/N) canted her head with a slightly narrowed gaze. Her smile sat unshakable on her lips. "Flower?"
He swallowed thickly at her small question. "UmβI don't know, Iβ," he floundered, feeling like a gaping fish under her gaze, "I shouldn't have said that, 'm sorry."
"But, why flower?" she prodded, her tone still quiet between the shelves. She hadn't looked at the book in his hands for even a second, her attention placed solely on him.
Harry was grateful for the fact there was no way for him to catch his reflection at that moment. He was sure the sight of him with his skin growing more and more red would only make him feel even more embarrassed as he stumbled for his words. He ran a heavy hand through his hair, itching to find anything to occupy his fingers before he resorted to picking his nail polish.
"IβYou're jus'... You're pretty like a flower," he choked out, his tongue feeling lazy as he tried to voice the words, "and you're soft, and-and kind. And, y'always smell really nice too." Harry had never wished for anything more than a chasm to develop under his feet and swallow him underground in that moment. It appeared he couldn't be trusted to watch himself around her anymore. "'M so sorry," he stuttered out, "That's not what I meant to say. That was weird of me to tell you, 'm so sorry."
(Y/N) let out a bubbling laugh that rang through Harry's ears. The sound wasn't at all teasing or tormenting like the would have thought would happen after he minced his words so drastically. He peeked through his dark lashes to find her with glittery eyes and a her glossy lips drawn into an enchanting smile.
"Don't say sorry, I really like that, Harry. That was cute, thank you," she whispered to him, finishing the half step he had taken towards her, "I liked hearing you call me that."
An airy haze clouded his thoughts, the puffs tinted a sunset pink. They filtered through his body, making Harry feel light and lighter with every beat of his heart. Biting on the full of his bottom lip, Harry felt his smile return to his face. "Yeah?"
He watched on as she nodded her head softly, the curl of her lips mimicking his own with the white tips of her teeth peeking out as she bit at the pillow. She was backlit by the sun filtering through the wall of windows behind her. The decals that decorated the shop windows cast shadows in the shape of twirling vines and woodland grasses all around her. Orange and golden hues haloed her form, giving her the appearance of a long forgotten goddess who had returned to form right in front of him, ready for worship.
God, did he adore her.
The smallest of flaws could be picked at the top of her cheekbone, though it was no fault of her own. An eyelash had fluttered from the crown around her softened eyes and fell on the top of her cheek, clinging to her glowing skin.
He suddenly felt breathless as he tried to speak though he couldn't tear his eyes from her face. "You-You've got an eyelash on your cheek," he whispered out, his eyes reluctantly slipping from her own and falling to the offending hair that had taken home on her cheek.
A huff of a laugh was exhaled through her nose, "Where?"
Harry worked on auto-pilot as he lifted his hand to brush his fingertip against his own skin. "Right here," he directed.
A light entered (Y/N)'s eyes as she took a small step towards him. If Harry took a deep enough breath, he was sure his chest would brush against her. "Can you get it for me?"
Without thinking, he dropped the book he had picked for her onto a vacant section on the shelf beside him leaving his hands free to gently hold her. He looked for any sign of rejection as he cradled her cheek softly in his hand, though all he received was her leaning into his hold with her eyes trained on his face. Ducking his head to be level with her, he used his free hand to brush over her soft skin and glowing cheekbone. The dark lash stuck to the tip of his finger, a gentle curve to the hair that stuck up from his skin.
"You're supposed to make a wish now."
His fingertip was level with the full of her lips as he caught a glance she cast him through the vignette of her lashes. She pressed her lips together in a pout before she blew the lash off his fingertip. He assumed it fluttered to the ground somewhere behind him like the seed of a dandelion, but he was too transfixed with the vision in front of him to care.
"What did y'wish for?
Rising to the tips of her toes, Harry didn't get an answer before (Y/N) pressed her lips to his. His hand on her cheek tied him to the moment as he found it much too easy to float away when she kissed him. She'd never done this in such a public place, he realized, the thought only causing his muscles to liquify and relax further into her. They'd kissed in the university parking lot by her car and just outside her apartment before, but never in such a place where anyone could walk by and know that she was just as infatuated with him as he was with her.
By the time she pulled away from the short contact, Harry's face was surely flushed a deep red. He left his hand cradling her cheek, unwilling to fully step out of the moment they curated between the shelves.
(Y/N) looked up at him with a satisfied smile.
"My wish just came true."
Harry felt weak in the knees as he shook his head, looking for any slim grasp on stability he could find before he toppled over. He reluctantly dropped his hand to his side, though he'd rather she didn't feel how clammy his palm was growing as he tried to regulate his heartbeat. "Ar-Are y'ready, then? Or did y'want to look at anything else?"
"I'm ready," she smiled, looking a little too proud of herself over the flush that still colored his skin, "Are you? You picked something out for me, too, right?"
"Oh!" Harry puttered, having momentarily forgotten about the book he had stowed away on the shelf for her, "Yeah, I have one for you. Do y'want to see it?"
She was quick to shake her head, hugging his book closer to her chest, "No, it's okay. I want it to be a surprise for me, too."
Harry nodded his head with a shallow dimple denting only one of his cheeks as a lopsided smile tugged his lips. "If y'want, I can take care of all of this and y'can go next door and get us a table and some coffee?"
He'd found in the handful of dates they'd been on, that (Y/N) typically agreed to him paying for things a bit faster when he gave her something to do that she equated to paying him back. He thought she was the sweetest thing he'd ever come across, her big heart making him that much more smitten for her.
"Okay, I'll see you in a second then," Harry mumbled, hesitating for just a second as he reached for the book in her hands, "flower."
The same glow he had been hoping for settled over her skin at the return of the petname. He liked knowing he could draw those reactions from her.
"Okay, Harry," she smiled, handing over the book before rising to her toes. She planted a sweet kiss to the soft of his cheek, right over his dimple, before she turned towards the door. "Don't peek at your book!"
"I won't. I promise," he muttered after her, unable to tear his eyes off of the gold-soaked vision of his dream girl as she drifted through his favorite place.
She waved to him and said a quick thank you to the girl behind the register before she left for the cafe next door. Harry worked on autopilot, the butterflies in his tummy giving him enough gusto to carry him through the shop and towards the check-out.
Erika, the so-called expert librarian as her nametag appointed her, gave him a polite smile as she ran through her customer service script. Harry nodded along, only halfway listening as his heart was in the next store over along with his attention.
"So," she started, breaking from the familiar script Harry was used to, "Who was that? I've never seen you come in with anyone before."
Without permission, a large grin stretched over his lips despite the way he tried to bite it back. His eyes were trained on the book she had chosen for him; knowing she had thought of him as she grabbed the volume made his heart stutter. He didn't know how to introduce her when he barely had the words to describe how much she already impacted his heart.
"Sheβuh... She's m'(Y/N)."
A bubbling laugh left Erika's lips, "Oh, she's your (Y/N), I see. I should've known."
Harry didn't know what else to say but an airy yes, and a nod of his head. He watched as she bagged up the books and read off his total. He all but floated through the motions as he paid and waited as patiently as possible to return to his flower.
"Well, I hope you and your (Y/N) enjoy these, Harry," Erika smiled, passing off the paper bag that now held his most prized possession.
"Thank you," he sighed, already edging towards the doorway.
He decided in that moment that, though he still loved his Secret Garden bookshop, his favorite place now took the shape of a girl from his physics class.
βββββ
"Flower, I really do need to go to work now."
Harry's words fell on deaf ears as (Y/N) hooked her arms around his neck. She held him against her, pressing lingering kisses to the full of his lips in an attempt to persuade him to stay. He'd been hard pressed about studying this afternoon, their textbooks and notes splayed across the foot of her bed, but (Y/N)'s attention waned the longer they went on. He had struck a deal with her when they started reviewing the chapters, that he would reward her with as many kisses as she answered questions correctly.
In truth, she'd only got about seven out of the thirteen questions right, but she'd successfully drawn the last half hour worth of kisses out of him. With his arm wrapped around her waist while the other cradled the full of her cheek in his palm, she was warm in his hold as she tugged him to lay halfway atop her on her twin bed. He took very little convincing to let his lips linger over her's and twine his legs between hers.
(Y/N) knew their study session was meant to end when he had to go to work, but she couldn't find it in herself to pull away. Even when Harry whispered half-hearted reminders, he still drew his tongue along the seam of her lips, tightened his fingers around her waist and melted into her form. She wasn't going to stop him.
"Do you really need to?" she mumbled against his mouth, a slinking smile growing on her own as she ran her fingertips through the baby hairs on the back of his neck. "I was hoping you could stay and get dinner with me tonight."
His kissing mouth slid from her own to the full of her cheek and along her jawline. The length of his lashes felt like a butterfly's wing against her skin. "I know," he sighed, regret coloring his tone, "But I really can't miss tonight. Usually they're easy with me, but I have to go in."
Sucking in a deep breath, she finally relented. Her arms around his neck loosened until her hands slid to settle on the broad of his shoulders. "Fine," she sighed, reluctantly pulling away from his attention.
"I wish I didn't have to go," he mumbled, the full of his lips gently brushing against her skin before he dotted a single kiss on the apple of her cheek. He drew away with a soft smile on his face as he gazed over her features, his hand on her waist flexing around the curve. "You know I would stay if I could, right? I don't want to leave either."
(Y/N) dropped her eyes to where her hands gently adjusted his clothes she had ruffled and the curls of his hair she had dismantled from the careful waves around his neck. A crooked smile curled over her lips as she flicked her eyes to his through her lashes, "Maybe I could come see you tonight? On your lunch, I could come by and bring dinner and everything?"
If she hadn't been scanning so diligently for his reaction, (Y/N) would have missed the way the set in his shoulders tensed at her suggestion. The motion was minute and temporary as his muscles relaxed a split second later, though his features stayed stiff under the guise of nonchalance.
"I don't know, love," he started, untangling his limbs from hers, "I don't want to rush through m'lunch with you. I don't really have an uninterrupted break anyway, so I wouldn't get to spend too much time with y'even if y'came by. 'M sorry, flower."
His irises melted in apology, his hand on her face caressing over the bone in her cheek before he pulled away from her completely. He moved to sit on the edge of her bed, reaching for his collection of textbooks and notebooks at the foot of her bed. (Y/N) followed after, curling her feet under her bottom as she sat against her pillows. His motions seemed to be dipped in guilt, and (Y/N) almost felt bad for asking. If she had known he would feel this bad about rejecting her, she wouldn't have asked.
"It's okay, Harry, really," she crooned, settling a delicate hand on his bicep, "I was only wondering since we aren't able to see each other Friday night either, so I wanted to spend time with you. But, I understand, don't worry."
A lopsided smile tugged at Harry's lips, his fidgeting hands slowing now that his supplies were in a neat pile on her comforter. "I know, flower. 'M sorry that 'm busy this week; work can be a bit weird sometimes so it's easier to get through it before I make plans. I promise I'll be free soon, and we can see each other properly without school or work getting in the way."
"You don't have to promise me, I trust you," (Y/N) smiled, kneeing over her mattress to sit beside his dip in the mattress.
"I'll see you in class on Friday, anyway, right?"
"Right," she affirmed, beaming up at him, "And we still have our date for Saturday night."
Harry's own features brightened at the mention, nodding his head with his curls flopping over his forehead at the movement. "Can't wait, flower."
(Y/N) waited on him as he packed up his supplies, offering her hand when he was ready to be walked to the front door. Ny bid him her own goodbyes from where she was bundled on the couch, her phone pressed to her ear with Trystan's contact displayed across the top.
"Goodnight, Harry," (Y/N) said once they made it to the front door, her hand still cuddled in his as he stood just across the threshold, "Let me know when you get to work safe, okay?"
Harry's eyes dropped to their joined hands, a soft squeeze being delivered to her palm. "I will, flower. Goodnight."
She reached to her tip-toes and drew him in for a tender kiss, the contact lasting for only a moment before Harry broke. She watched as he made his way to the elevator. With the way he wasn't able to meet her eyes, even when he waved at her before the lift doors closed, she hoped she hadn't made him feel too bad about not being able to see him on his lunch.
βββββ
Now, when (Y/N) logged into the cam-site and tuned into one of H's streams, she couldn't help but feel a different kind of guilt layer over the usual skeeziness she experienced. With Harry in her life now (it had been almost a full month since their first date, actually), with him being the comforting, romantic presence that she had been craving when she found the site in the first place, she felt as if she was cheating on him in a way every time she watched the intimate moments of another man.
She made a point to rationalize it with herself whenever she felt especially bad. It's not like she and Harry were having sex at allβthe most they did was heavy kissing for a few moments before pulling awayβand she knew she wouldn't be upset if she found that he was still watching porn.
And, it's not like she could lie, H still did it for her. Until she had another outlet, she was going to take advantage of his content.
There wasn't much room for guilt at the moment anyway, she decided. Her muscles were entirely too lax and her mind too buried in a pleasantly fuzzy state to be worried about anything as she came down from her orgasm. H had just done his signature outro before the screen went black, leaving (Y/N) to work through her own aftercare with a dreamy smile on her lips. He had dipped into every little thing she loved this show, leaving her a puddle to be scooped up to be Β put back together.
Despite the fact that she sought out H to bring her to this state, now that she had Harry, he was her main focus afterwards. She wanted nothing more than for him to be with her, pushing out all thoughts of the performer that had graced her screen. She decided she couldn't feel too guilty about tuning into the shows when all she wanted in the most vulnerable moments was her Harry.
With lazy limbs, she reached for her phone that was charging on her side table. She quickly pulled open Harry's text thread, typing out a message telling him that she missed him and couldn't wait until the next time she could see him.
He was at work at the moment, but maybe her text would be a bright spot during his shift.
βββββ
"Harry, are you sure you're okay? You promise you're not sick or anything?"
Harry let out a breathy laugh at (Y/N)'s prodding. He was walking her to her car with a slight slump to his shoulders, her bag hanging off his elbow with her extra textbook tucked under his arm. "I promise 'm okay, was jus' up late last night, that's all. You're making me nervous that I look bad or something, flower."
"No, no, that's not it at all!" she rushed, quick to take her things from him as they approached her car, "You look perfect! You're just not usually so forgetful with everything, so I worry about you. I even got to class earlier than you, and that's how I know something is wrong."
He shook his head, the curling tendrils of his hair catching on the frames of his glasses he forgot to take off. The tips of his ears tinted pink as he dropped his gaze to where her hands brushed his as she pulled her book from his grip."I promise 's nothing more than lacking on some sleep, okay? You're very sweet to worry about me, though."
(Y/N) shut her car door with her class materials stacked in the passenger seat. She lent against the frame, twining her hands together as she looked up at Harry. "So you're going to go home and sleep then, right?"
"Unless I get called into work, yeah," he murmured, his toes kicking at the pavement under their feet, "But no matter what, I'll call y'tonight, okay?"
"Okay," she smiled, satisfied with his promise. He gave her a soft smile, the apples of his cheeks tinted a baby pink as he nervously adjusted the heavy cardigan on his form.
(Y/N)'s eyes followed the path of his hands, looking at the details of the rainbow, patchwork pattern of the garment. Each square was knitted from a thick yarn, colored in deep oranges and reds with bright yellows and earthen greens breaking it up. Black boxed stitched in made for the rainbow pattern to pop, all tied together with strips of blue making room for the heavy black buttons to sit. Only one of the buttons was fastened at his waist, leaving the cardigan to slip off his shoulder if he wasn't paying enough attention.
"What?" he mumbled, speaking through a small smile when he noticed her lingering gaze.
"Nothing," she smiled, shaking her head with her own cheeks growing in warmth at being caught, "I just really like your sweater. It looks soft."
"Yeah?" he bubbled, brightening at the compliment, "M'sister made it for me."
"She made it?!" (Y/N) perked up, now looking with a more scrutinizing eye at the garment, "Like, she knitted the whole thing and put it together?" Harry nodded his head with a hummed affirmation, pride tinting his features at the praise of his family. "Did she use a pattern or anything like that?" (Y/N) pressed, catching the way the emerald green on Harry's fingernails almost completely matched the squares on his cardigan.
"Nope! Jus' her. She's really good at this kind of stuffβwhenever I need something stitched or fixed, I send it to her and she has it done even better than before."
"Well, she's very talented," (Y/N) beamed, looking up at Harry's blushing face, "I really like it, Harry."
"Y'can wear it sometime, if y'want?"
"No, no," (Y/N) declined, shaking her head with fluttering hands, "It's your's, I can't take that from you. I just think you look really cute in it, that's all."
"Thank you, flower," he sighed, his voice wrapping around the petname that made her heart race, "I'll have to tell my sister how much y'love it."
She could feel her own skin beginning to glow at the thought of him mentioning her to his family. With her attention fixed on the butterflies swarming her tummy, she almost missed the way Harry took a step towards her. He placed his hands tenderly on her hips, fingers gentle against the curve as he dipped his head down.
"I'll call y'later, okay?" he reiterated, leveling the tip of her nose with her's in a cautious puppy's kiss in case she pulled away.
"But, only after you take a nap," she insisted, resisting the urge to tip her head and press her lips to his. She wanted him to know she was serious about thisβthere would be no exceptions to his health, not even her.
He did the job for her, kissing her through the smile on his lips. He gave a pulse of his fingers around the thick of her hips, a tickling sensation that drew her own smile to the surface.
"Bye, love," he mumbled to her, "Get home safe."
After finishing their goodbyes, (Y/N) lingered for a moment before resigning to head home. In her rearview mirror, he was a bright rainbow fleck in the view. She was entirely enamored by him, she decided, even as nothing more than a technicolor dot behind her, he made her heart skip a beat.
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(Y/N) sighed, falling into her bed after she finished putting away laundry. She felt restless in her own skin, an itch creeping through her muscles she was too familiar with. It was a growing trend now that after seeing Harry, she was left with a yearning need.
He had her stomach churning in the softest way possible every time she had to leave him. He was so cute and sweet and cloyingly memorable that she wanted nothing more than to kiss the life out of him and get tangled in her sheets with his limbs adding to the web. He was too loving for his own good, she decided; if he wasn't careful and smiled at her with his eyes too soft, she was going to have to jump his bones, there was no other choice.
Though she understood why nothing further had happened yet, it still left her muscles tight and her brain foggy when he would cut her off in the middle of kissing on his couch or in the tufts of her bedding. They had only been together exclusively for just over a month, making it a little soon to do too much more than indulging in kisses, but it still left (Y/N) with a pit in her stomach as she searched for relief. Even now, after seeing him in class and stealing a handful of innocent kisses in the parking lot, she was still plagued with the need for more.
She didn't think too hard about it before she pulled for her laptop and opened up a private tab. Her fingers worked lazily to type in the URL of the cam-site, going through the motions in an effort to distract herself from that lingering guilt she felt when tuning into H's shows. But, nothing in that moment could have compared to the relief she felt when she saw he had started a stream only seven minutes prior. She hadn't missed any of the good stuff.
With Ny out for the afternoon, (Y/N) skipped any of the drama of her usual set up, instead burrowing into her bedding and clicking the link. She planned on leaving any thoughts of her day behind in favor of throwing herself into whatever storyline H was displaying for the next hour, but the second he popped up on her screen, her mind went completely blank except for one thing.
The usual camera work of him sitting with his head out of frame and his clothed torso taking the main view greeted her. But, the only thing (Y/N) could manage to concentrate on was his clothes.
A heavy cardigan was draped over his torso, leaving his chest completely bare underneath. The knit of the chunky sleeves was caught in his hands, patches of color coming together in bright slashes that worked together harmoniously. She halfway heard his voice echoing through her speakers, detailing the mood of the day as being soft and gentle, that nothing would make him happier than to take care of the viewer. (Y/N) barely heard anything as her eyes were trained on the way he adjusting the falling shoulder, the green paint on is fingernails glinting in the low light
She knew that cardigan. She had just left that cardigan on campus after he had told her he was too tired to hang out tonight, but he would call her later tonight.
It was Harry's cardigan.
But that couldn't be right, could it?
Harry had told her his sister had gifted the garment to him, knitted it herself without the help of a pattern to imitate. H's nails were even painted the exact same shade of green she remembered was on her Harry's nails just a couple of hours prior. But, all of this had to be a coincidence, right?
Because that couldn't be her Harry.
Her Harry asked permission to touch her for months, and even now was unsure before he kissed her. It took him two dates to fully be able to hold her hand without asking to twine their fingers together! There was no way her Harry was the same guy that recorded himself jerking off for strangers. There was no way that the same sweetheart that took months to grow the courage to talk to her and begged for cheek kisses in the middle of study sessions could be the same person that called himself daddy for others and had sexted with her only a month prior.
But there's no way it could be anyone else, and she knew that.
Just as the performer started to shed the knitted cardigan from his body, (Y/N) snapped the lid on her laptop shut. She recoiled from the device like it had burned her, pushing the computer to slide to the foot of her bed as she curled up by her pillows with her knees to her chest. Her mind was swirling like a twister, too fast for her to comprehend anything before another bubbling thought worked its way in the mess.
As soon as she reasoned out some kind of coincidental explanation (maybe his sister had made a duplicate and gifted it to someone who just so happened to put on cam shows?) the vision of Hβor should she call him Harry now?βdraped with the unmistakable pattern over his shoulders shocked her again.
What was she supposed to do now?
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(Y/N) didn't realize how long she had sat curled up by her pillows until her phone buzzed with a thrumming pulse that pulled her from her thoughts. She jumped in her spot, finding the device bundled in the tufts of her bedding with the screen lit up and Harry's contact plastered across.
She hesitantly reached for it, her heart racing. Did he know she knew now? Was he calling to interrogate her and see why she'd never said anything before, as if she was supposed to have known the whole time?
Pushing her irrationality to the side, she shakily swiped her finger across the width of her phone and answered his call.
"Hello?" she started, hoping she had schooled her voice enough to hide the waver.
"Hi flower, what are you up to?" She could tell he was smiling on the other end. She could picture his dimples so clearly dented into his cheeks, though now the rest of the picture of him didn't make much sense.
"Just getting ready to work on that creative writing assignment I was telling you about," she lied, her nervous gaze unable to settle on anything for too long before darting across the room, "What about you?"
"I jus' got off workβgot called in for a short shift, so I thought I'd give you a call before I went home and slept." In the background, she swore she could hear the sound of clothing rustling like he was bundling up a pile that had been discarded. "I miss you, love."
"I miss you, too, Harry."
He was at work, huh?
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(Y/N) felt off-kilter as she walked into Stanfill's lecture that Monday. Though the guilt followed her, she had canceled on her plans with Harry for the past Saturday since she didn't trust herself to sit with him and not blurt out the new suspicions that had taken root in her head. Today would be the first time she'd seen him since last Friday (both in class and on her computer screen it would seem). But, she had taken all weekend and coached herself through the newfound information.
Maybe it was naive of her, but she'd reasoned with herself all weekend, finding enough explanations (she didn't care how thin) to turn the whole thing into a weird coincidence in her mind. Now, all she needed to do was believe them.
In his usual spot beside her own unassigned-assigned seat, Harry was perched with a giddy smile on his face. A bright orange sweater was draped over the back of his seat, the piece assumedly having been used to cover him through the chilly morning, leaving him in only a thin, white t-shirt that was stretched over his chest, fitting of the heat that now dominated the afternoon. His grin only brightened when he caught sight of her scaling the stairs, his eyes following her.
"Hi flower," he crooned, his gaze warm as he tenderly flitted his eyes over her form and the planes of her features.
"Hi Harry," she smiled, taking her spot beside him. Before she had a chance to set up her materials, he fit an arm around her waist and pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek in greeting.
"You're feeling better from this weekend, right?" Harry asked when he pulled away, referencing the excuse she had used to get out of their plans.
Her heart stuttered over the guilt that pumped through her veins at the mention of her sordid excuse. She nodded her head with her attention spent on setting up notes. "Yeah, I think it was just one of those twenty-four hour things, so I'm feeling better."
"Good, I was worried about you. Almost came over with some soup or something for you." He ended with an airy laugh, the warmth of his gaze trailing over her form.
(YN) finally chanced a look in his direction since sitting down. The thin material she had spotted at the landing of the stairs was much more see-through than she had realized, allowing black designs inked onto Harry's skin to shine through. Thanks to the heavy sweaters and thick knits he typically wore to class, this was the first time she had noticed he had any more tattoos than the fading cross etched on his hand.
She hated to think that she already knew what designs decorated his skin.
"What?" Harry smiled, catching the way her eyes lingered over his chest, "Is there something on m'shirt?"
"No, no," she shook her head, rolling her lips between her teeth before growing the courage to start the conversation she was scared to hear his side of, "I just didn't know you had so many tattoos."
"Really?" he laughed, angling his body towards her as if to give a full view of the muffled ink, "I thought y'knew. Have y'never seen the one on m'hand?" He offered up his hand as his to prove there was a tattoo on the skin, the stretch allowing for an inch of the ink on his wrist to be revealed as the sleeve rode up.
"Well, yeah," she smiled though the curl was tight, "I can just see a lot more than I ever have before through your shirt. How many do you have?"
He shrugged nonchalantly, curling up the sleeve of his shirt to reveal the details of the darkened spots that had shone through his top. "I lost count, but I've got the most of them up this arm, then a few on m'chest and ribs, and some on m'legs."
The farther up he tugged the fabric, the more designs (Y/N) recognized. The topless mermaid she had seen stretched over taut muscles and thick veins, a beetle looking bug on the delicate underside, a large rose inked over his elbow, and the beginnings of the anatomical heart on the inside of his bicep. The small tattoos inked on his wrist and the delicate scripts that detailed out names of people she was sure were close to him rounded out the tattoos she recognized in the form of pixels through her laptop screen.
She resisted the urge to trail her fingers over the ink and catch the texture of the skin she had been admiring for longer than she had realized, instead flicking her gaze to his own. "What do you have on your chest?"
He brightened at her question leaning back to touch his fingers to the spaces just under his collarbones, "I've got a pair of birds on m'chest,"βhis touch slid down to his tummyβ"a butterfly right here, and a set of laurels on m'hips."
From the neckline of his top, (Y/N) was able to spot the very tips of the wings of his inked birds. Though her face was stuck in a pleasant smile, her heart was thrumming like a hummingbird's and her mind was quickly dissolving to something close to a plate of twirled spaghetti. She couldn't act naive anymore, she knew that.
This was the confirmation she had been looking for, but feared finding. Now she couldn't just write this off and forget what she'd seen.
"That's really cool, Harry. I had no idea."
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(Y/N) had to psych herself up as she approached Stanfill's door Friday afternoon. She and Harry hadn't seen much of each other since Monday's lecture, Harry having been conveniently busy with work leaving them only a spare couple of hours on Wednesday night to meet up at the library before he rushed out after claiming to be called in by his boss. (She tried to ignore it, but (Y/N) couldn't help but notice the way that the cam page was suddenly full of new content with promises of more coming soon that lined up a little too well with Harry's demanding hours). She was grateful for the distance, honestly.
Now that she had resigned herself to the truth, it was better for her to limit her time around him in case she suddenly burst out with an accusation. (She didn't know what was more embarrassing: being accused of being a cam-performer or admitting to being an avid viewer of one). She had prepped herself heavily, schooling herself into keeping her mouth shut around him in case she let something slip she wasn't supposed to, but she still felt a little too close to the edge for comfort. Despite her hesitation, she knew she didn't have much choice but to show her face for class and get through the lecture.
Harry, as per usual, was already set up and perched in his seat when (Y/N) drew the courage to quit pretending to look at her phone and step through the heavy doors to her physics course. He held a beaming smile on his features, his dimples only deepening the farther up the stairs she went.
"Hi, love," he crooned once she was close enough, reaching to pull her chair out for her like the gentleman she was familiar with.
"Hi," she murmured, a small smile on her face as she peeked at him through her lashes. As much as she was shocked by her revelation (and a bit perturbed at the ease of which he lied to her with), there was still a soft spot in her heart for him she didn't see hardening anytime soon.
"I've missed you," he whispered, leaning closer with a careful eye on her reaction before planting his lips delicately against her cheek, "How was your morning?"
"Good, good," she prattled, setting up her laptop even though she knew she was only going to copy off of Harry's notes later, "Just tired and everything. What about you?"
"'M much better now," he flirted, a shy pink tint coloring his cheeks, "But it was fine, jus' been waiting to see you."
Her heart stuttered in her chest as she processed his words, the beat fluttering like a pair of wings on a bumbling bee. Yeah, he still had herβdefinitely.
"You're sweet, Harry," she smiled, melting into her seat.
She was vaguely aware of him recounting a tale of one of his friends (she thinks his name is Niji, but Harry wasn't the best at reminding her of his friends she had never met) as her eyes trailed over his form and to the typical spread that covered his work station. His notebooks were neatly organized as she'd come to expect, though there was a new development with a tattered pencil bag now holding all of his pens and highlighters he was fond of. She could tell it was old with the graphite dusting that stained the canvas material and etchings of a bored teenager who doodled in class.
One of the blackened markings on the bag caught her eye and made her freeze for a beat.
It was a small spot with the letters scripted in a familiar handwriting: TPWK.
It was one of the more loved spots on the bag, the acronym having been traced over and over enough to have embedded the lead into the weaving. (Y/N) recognized it in an instant, the letters being the signature ending to majority of H's (or should she just start calling him Harry now, at this point?) posts on his site. She had figured it was nothing more than a reiteration of his username, but (Y/N) didn't think Harry would be etching his cam-site username into his school materials as a teenager. At least, she hoped.
"Are y'even listening to me, flower? I didn't think I was as boring as Stanfill, but you're really humbling me right now."
Harry's soft laughter pulled her from her mind, drawing her eye from his pencil bag to find him with a shrewd smile on his lips and a soft aura circling his iris.
"Sorry, sorry," she rushed, flicking her gaze back to the acronym without thinking, "I was just... What does that mean?" Without permission, her traitorous words slipped free in conjunction with her finger pointing out the etching on his bag.
"Oh," he sounded, his brows coming to a furrow as he realized what she was referring to, "It was jus' something my mum used to say to m'sister and I growing up. It means treat people with kindness."
Glancing through the frame of her lashes, (Y/N) rolled her lips between her teeth as she listened to his explanation. Her anxiety heightened as she realized this might be her only chance to confess to the knowledge she'd been holding back. This wasn't the best placeβright in the middle of a lecture hall with their professor gearing up to start classβ, but she didn't think she would ever have the courage again before the burden deteriorated her. She could barely even look at Harry, for crying out loud! She couldn't keep this in if she wanted to stay with him.
"Oh," she parroted, nodding her head as she directed her gaze to the letters, "I thought it stood forβumβtreat people with kisses."
Harry's muscles immediately stiffened at the mention of his username, his hands becoming restless as he fiddled with the glasses perched on his nose. His eyes were clear as he scanned over her face, gauging for a reaction in a way she wasn't familiar with. "And why did y'think that?"
The sound of her heartbeat rang through her ears along with the sound of rushing water as her blood pumped through her veins. It was now or never.
"I've seen some things, andβumβthere's someone who uses something really similar to that on their website, I've found." She capped her mouth before she could reveal any more in the middle of a packed lecture hall, sealing her lips together as she anticipated Harry's reaction.
That was when his facade seemed to crumble. He was realizing that she knew, that much she could tell from his expression as Harry nodded his head. He let out a string of mumbled okay's before he dropped his head to stare at the linoleum lining the floor, a heavy hand skimming through his hair. His fingers twitched as he delivered a tight tug at his roots.
"Fuck, okay," he swore, the first time (Y/N) had ever heard her Harry curse, "(Y/N), Iβ"
Before much else to fall from his lips, Professor Stanfill started class with a boom of his monotone voice. Unlike usual, Harry didn't rise to attention, his posture staying slumped with his gaze looking helpless as he fought for words. (Y/N) took the opportunity to break and face forward; she couldn't look at him struggle like that anymore, especially knowing that she was the reason he was having to face this in the middle of lecture.
As Stanfill started on the unit, (Y/N) could only halfway listen when her attention was placed on the boy beside her who couldn't seem to get comfortable in his own skin. His leg was restless as it bounced under the table, his arms crossed tightly over his chest, and his teeth chewing his bottom lip. She could feel his eyes flicking to her every few seconds, his gaze unable to settle before it was flitting across the room once more.
Harry had made it only ten minutes into class before he crossed the space between their chairs, leaning close to her though he didn't dare touch her. His lips were level with her ear, though she knew he was making a point to keep a distance, with only a tickle of his breath being felt against her neck.
"(Y/N)... I can explain. I jus' need tβ"
"Mr. Styles, is there a problem back there?"
He froze for a moment under the attention, (Y/N) fully expecting Harry to back down and offer a polite no, sir, before melting back into his seat. Instead, she was shocked to find him shoveling his things back into his bag with frantic hands.
"Actually, sir," he started, giving (Y/N) a pleading look, "(Y/N) and I need to be excused. My apologies."
Harry grabbed for her elbow, urging her to grab her things in a scramble before he led her from the silent lecture hall. Not once did (Y/N) see even a tint of blush climb Harry's features.
Out in the hall, the clang of the heavy doors falling shut echoed loudly through the empty space. Harry didn't stop there, continuing to tug her through the doors leading to the quad, the corridor seemingly too small for the extent of his whirlwind feelings. Out on the green, only a small study group could be seen gathered in the far corner meters away beside the grandiose fountain (Y/N) passed on her way to the library, leaving them virtually alone.
She stayed back under the cover of the portico, her book bag tucked under her arm as she watched Harry pace over the grass that surrounded the building. His hands were relentless, digging through his hair and throwing the strands askew.
And, she thought she felt guilty keeping the information from him.
"So," he sighed, his feet coming to a standstill planted in the grass, "You know?"
"Mhm," she gulped, nodding her head despite the fact his eyes were trained on his feet, "I found you a few months ago but I just realized it was you."
When he raised his hands, (Y/N) expected another round of messing his hair, but instead he dug the heels of his palms into his eyes and sucked in a deep breath. He couldn't even look at her.
"And?"
She struggled with how to put her thoughts into words, unsure of how to make any of it make sense to him when it barely made sense to herself. "Well, it's definitely not what I expected... I never thought you'd..."
Her useless words trailed off, her half explanation hanging in the air when she realized she didn't know what else to say. What a supportive girlfriend she was; she couldn't even reassure him when he had so clearly taken her spot on the edge.
Harry's chest expanded with a shaky breath, his head shaking in jerking nods at her half-baked sentence. "Okay," he breathed, the words breaking under the weight of his anxiety, "Okay." When he finally managed to pull his hands from his face and look at her, his tear-sheened eyes were tinged with a red that matched the embarrassed hue of his cheeks, "IβuhβI have to go, (Y/N). I'll... I'll talk to you later."
"Wait, Harβ"
Before she could even finish, he was rushing away with his bag banging against his knees and hisΒ hand visibly tugging at his curls. He didn't stop or even slow at the sound of her protestβ(Y/N) could have even argued that he walked away faster.
Shit.
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inertia is the law that dictates if any outside force is given to an object, its course will change
only one part left:( this one def has a lot of what everyone was waiting for and speculating over so I really hope it measures up to the ideas I heard!!! thank you so much for reading and sorry for any mistakes! lmk if you have any ideas for the next part or requests of your own!!
(y/n) was sat at her desk, smiling at her students through Zoom as they were currently engaged in a conversation about their own relationship experiences about compatibility. Today's lecture was based upon different theories of predictors of divorce, and it was always one of her favorite topics. Not only was she able to advise a group of young individuals about what they should strive towards, but she could also tell them red flags that were statistically necessary to avoid. It was also slightly amusing to her to see some students realize they were in relationships that wouldn't work out. It was always funny (although, sad) to see some students' eyes widen in realizing they needed to talk with their partner ASAP.
"As we come to an end, I want to talk about some more predictors that will really solidify a healthy relationship. As you all move towards marriage therapy in the future, these are topics you will hear about endlessly that tear partners apart."
Although the two were only together for four months, they both had keys to each other's apartments. They were very comfortable with one another despite being 'early' in the relationship, and they would often go to each other's homes in seek of comfort. Today, Harry had closed his shop early since he hadn't received a shipment of flowers. Realizing he wouldn't have much to sell, he decided to go see his love.
He knew she had a class to teach at this time, so he quietly made his way around her apartment, leading into the kitchen. After making a cup of tea as quietly as possible, he walked into her room. It was very comforting for him to hear her lecture, so he was looking forward to hearing her "professor" voice.
Thankfully, the way her room was arranged, did not allow her students to see Harry entering her room, but she offered him a smile nonetheless.
"So, as you can see on the PowerPoint, these are really the three things you and your future partner should be aligned on. When it comes to therapy, a couple will almost always come to you because they have some sort of disagreement on these three."
Harry had been fascinated with her area of focus as a professor, finding that marriage studies was something that suited her very well. Equally so, (y/n) was infatuated with Harry's job as a florist and now always had a lively home thanks to him.
"I'm going to go through each one very quickly, and then we'll go through questions so you all can finally get out of Zoom prison."
Harry sipped his tea as he heard the small chuckles from her class.
"First, money. I don't think many people realize how big of an issue this can become when they just start dating. This refers to how each party spends or saves it. Of course, you have your spenders that don't mind indulging in their pleasures whereas the opposed tend to save every penny they get. When two people are dating, they might note these differences and find them endearing but they will eventually become a big source of tension. In a marriage, finances are crucial and it can be difficult to be with someone who doesn't see your view on how to spend or save money. Especially when it comes to raising your own family.
"Next, we have sex." (y/n) gave a smile to her computer, already expecting her students to laugh. "I know, I know. But really, having an incompatible sex life can cause a divorce! What I mean by this is you typically see partners come into therapy because the other doesn't want to have sex as often, or maybe they want sex too frequently. Even, you'll hear about partners who want different things in bed," more laughter arose from her students, "so it's really important to establish what you like in bed." (y/n) didn't shy away from topics that were slightly uncomfortable, because she hoped students could learn from her not only for their profession but in their personal lives as well.
"Finally we have children. This one is kind of obvious, you either want kids or don't and a lot of arguments can come from disagreements about this. I've witnessed couples in therapy that are emotionally dysregulated because they agreed to have children when they never wanted to. Or, the complete opposite, where one party had to give up their dream to be a parent."
At this, a student spoke, "I see how all of these things can bring up problems, but I'm trying to figure out how I would even bring this up in my own relationship. It'd be kind of weird to bring it up now since we've been together for three years?"
(y/n) nodded along, Harry noting how she presented as more professional during her lectures. "This is a great question that I wanted to lead into. It really is recommended you have these conversations early. Some of these behaviors can be noticed early on, such as if your partner is a spender or is more frugal. You might also be able to observe stuff like sex behaviors, but there are partners who save sex for later in a relationship. So, although it might be strange, you should note from our prior chapter about those deep conversations we are meant to have with our partner once a week. These 'State of the Unions' as described in our previous book is so that we can talk about what went well and what could improve in the week. You can take this time to ask your partner how they prefer to spend their money, or what they want out of your sex life. A lot of people don't do this, but it really is necessary to establish how frequently you want to have sex each week and what you want to use in bed," at this, even (y/n) gave a small laugh, noticing her students faces. "Conversations about childbearing can definitely be sprinkled in, and you can talk more deeply to your partner about how you envision your life in the future as a parent. I see in your case you've passed the getting to know you stage, but I would recommend you sit down and get down to the nitty-gritty of it all. For others, I wouldn't talk about how many kids you want during the first date, but these three topics are definitely worth mentioning early!"
Harry was focused on what (y/n) was saying. He always thought that their relationship was surely one to last since she teaches others about the foundations of relationships. He has noticed that she's more rational than him, and does things with reason.
After some more quick questions, (y/n) finally let her class go a few minutes before they were meant to end. Sighing, she stretched and made her way to Harry on the bed. He was already sitting with his back against the headboard, making it easy for her to strip her top layers (she had pajama shorts, she never wore slacks/skirts during Zoom meetings, don't tell her students) and rest her body on his.
Instantly, Harry's hands made their way to massage her back, caressing her. "Last class, right?"
"Mhm."
He looked down, seeing her eyes closed.
"Hard day, baby?"
(y/n) rubbed her face further into his chest, breathing him in. "No, I just missed you."
With a breathy laugh, Harry said "saw me last night."
"Shush. Why'd you get out of work early? Not that I'm complaining of course" (y/n) could spend all day in his chest, it was the perfect combination of warm, soft, breathing in his musk/cologne.
He moved one hand up to massage her scalp, knowing that it tend to hurt the longer she was on Zoom. "Missed shipment. Lectures went well?"
Laughing, (y/n) smiles, "You caught the most entertaining part of my lectures. Other class dealt with grooming and the whole child predators thing."
"Yeah, I'm glad I was able to sit in, learned a thing or two." He gave a chuckle that made (y/n) move on his chest, making her smile too. "It's so nice dating a marriage professor, I don't know why everyone isn't."
(y/n) finally sat up to look at Harry, amused at his conversation. "There's not enough of us to go around, you're lucky, baby."
"Always lucky with you." he smiled, dimples prominent. "You mentioned talking about those three things with your partner earlier but we never had. Is it too early?"
Sighing, (y/n) looked at him with a guilty smile. "Sure I teach this stuff for a living but I'm not an expert on how to do it in real-time. But no, it's not too early, I always recommend new relationships talk about it roughly a month or two in."
"Oooh," Harry smiled, moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively on the conversation they were surely about to have.
"Okay fine. I'll start with money. I always have wanted hefty savings as a backup of any and every worst-case scenario but you've already seen that I do like to indulge ... frequently."
The two looked at each other with such adoration, still in the beginning stages of their relationship. "I think I'm the same. But I really don't mind spending money on experiences, I think that's pretty important."
"Weird way of saying we should go on vacation soon," (y/n) laughed.
"Loser," he smiled back, "as for sex, I would say we're pretty compatible." Harry gave (y/n) a cheeky smile, causing her to let out a snort she was trying to conceal.
"Oh my god, Harry." She started to blush, shaking her head.
"Oh better yet, we should talk about frequency, no? I love loving on you whenever I can. Daily, if you'll let me."
"Daily? If you even have enough stamina." This elicited a fake hurt gasp from Harry, making the two chuckle. "As for what we like, we should be lucky we're especially compatible with that. I mean, two switches? Who would've thought."
"A girl who lets me fuck her senseless but also fucks me? Match made in heaven," he dreamily sighed. In response, (y/n) swatted at his chest with a smile.
"Finally, child-bearing." (y/n) resumed with the list.
"Definitely never," (y/n) stated at the same time Harry let out a happy: "I want four babies!"
The two looked at each other, although they weren't sure if it was out of fear or shock.
Harry was the first to break the silence, "what do you mean 'never'."
With a blank stare, (y/n) calmly answered: "It's never been a dream of mine to be a mother, Harry. In fact, it's a nightmare to give birth to a child. To raise them. I'm not made for it."
Instantly, Harry felt himself crumble at the thought of his future tumbling with the only woman he saw could be a part of it. "What? What do you mean by that?"
(y/n) eyebrows were furrowed, not expecting their conversation to take this turn. "I really don't know how else to explain it, Harry. That's not what I want."
"But I do." He felt frustrated, always assuming that they were so similar that this conversation wouldn't be any different.
(y/n) shook her head, sitting up to look at the bedsheets instead of his eyes. "I don't know what to say. I know what I want and I can't ask you to compromise your dreams because I wouldn't do the same."
"You don't want to have kids with me? I know it's early but, you don't see that for us?"
Exasperated, she looked at him, her eyes begging "I don't want that with anyone Harry! I've never wanted that!"
"But you study marriages and families!"
"That doesn't mean I actually want a fucking 'family,' I won't be content by having offspring, Harry!"
The two sat in silence, realizing the implications of the conversation. They both knew where this was going, but were both afraid to say anything more.
After a few minutes, Harry finally spoke up, although soft enough that (y/n) wouldn't be able to hear if she wasn't right by his side on the bed. "What ... does this mean for us, (y/n)?"
(y/n) knew exactly what it meant, she had been teaching the downfall of relationships for a few years now. "If we don't have a future, Harry, then we shouldn't continue."
He was expecting it, but it still tore his heart to hear those words come out of the girl he loves. He felt his eyes water, opting to squeeze them shut while praying the past ten minutes were a joke. Shortly, he heard the girl of his dreams sniffling at his side. Finally looking over, he saw her rubbing her eyes harshly. Harry slowly reached a hand up, moving her hands. "Please, baby, you're hurting your eyes."
As she looked at him, he saw the tears that kept spilling from her eyes without her control. Barely making out the words through her sobs, (y/n) cried to him, "I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry. I didn't think- it's just who I am, and- Harry, you deserve your family."
Sighing as silent tears fell on his face, he brought her into his arms once again, although the atmosphere had shifted from when she was in his chest moments ago. "It's okay, baby. Don't blame yourself, it's okay."
The two cried with one another, coming to the realization that they wouldn't be together anymore if they didn't have a future. Soon enough, they realized, their apartments would both lose the touch of one another.
Instead of facing the implications of this unexpected separation, they tightly held each other instead, warding off thoughts of their future without each other.
(y/n) was sat at her desk, smiling at her students through Zoom as they were currently engaged in a conversation about their own relationship experiences about compatibility. Today's lecture was based upon different theories of predictors of divorce, and it was always one of her favorite topics. Not only was she able to advise a group of young individuals about what they should strive towards, but she could also tell them red flags that were statistically necessary to avoid. It was also slightly amusing to her to see some students realize they were in relationships that wouldn't work out. It was always funny (although, sad) to see some students' eyes widen in realizing they needed to talk with their partner ASAP.
"As we come to an end, I want to talk about some more predictors that will really solidify a healthy relationship. As you all move towards marriage therapy in the future, these are topics you will hear about endlessly that tear partners apart."
Although the two were only together for four months, they both had keys to each other's apartments. They were very comfortable with one another despite being 'early' in the relationship, and they would often go to each other's homes in seek of comfort. Today, Harry had closed his shop early since he hadn't received a shipment of flowers. Realizing he wouldn't have much to sell, he decided to go see his love.
He knew she had a class to teach at this time, so he quietly made his way around her apartment, leading into the kitchen. After making a cup of tea as quietly as possible, he walked into her room. It was very comforting for him to hear her lecture, so he was looking forward to hearing her "professor" voice.
Thankfully, the way her room was arranged, did not allow her students to see Harry entering her room, but she offered him a smile nonetheless.
"So, as you can see on the PowerPoint, these are really the three things you and your future partner should be aligned on. When it comes to therapy, a couple will almost always come to you because they have some sort of disagreement on these three."
Harry had been fascinated with her area of focus as a professor, finding that marriage studies was something that suited her very well. Equally so, (y/n) was infatuated with Harry's job as a florist and now always had a lively home thanks to him.
"I'm going to go through each one very quickly, and then we'll go through questions so you all can finally get out of Zoom prison."
Harry sipped his tea as he heard the small chuckles from her class.
"First, money. I don't think many people realize how big of an issue this can become when they just start dating. This refers to how each party spends or saves it. Of course, you have your spenders that don't mind indulging in their pleasures whereas the opposed tend to save every penny they get. When two people are dating, they might note these differences and find them endearing but they will eventually become a big source of tension. In a marriage, finances are crucial and it can be difficult to be with someone who doesn't see your view on how to spend or save money. Especially when it comes to raising your own family.
"Next, we have sex." (y/n) gave a smile to her computer, already expecting her students to laugh. "I know, I know. But really, having an incompatible sex life can cause a divorce! What I mean by this is you typically see partners come into therapy because the other doesn't want to have sex as often, or maybe they want sex too frequently. Even, you'll hear about partners who want different things in bed," more laughter arose from her students, "so it's really important to establish what you like in bed." (y/n) didn't shy away from topics that were slightly uncomfortable, because she hoped students could learn from her not only for their profession but in their personal lives as well.
"Finally we have children. This one is kind of obvious, you either want kids or don't and a lot of arguments can come from disagreements about this. I've witnessed couples in therapy that are emotionally dysregulated because they agreed to have children when they never wanted to. Or, the complete opposite, where one party had to give up their dream to be a parent."
At this, a student spoke, "I see how all of these things can bring up problems, but I'm trying to figure out how I would even bring this up in my own relationship. It'd be kind of weird to bring it up now since we've been together for three years?"
(y/n) nodded along, Harry noting how she presented as more professional during her lectures. "This is a great question that I wanted to lead into. It really is recommended you have these conversations early. Some of these behaviors can be noticed early on, such as if your partner is a spender or is more frugal. You might also be able to observe stuff like sex behaviors, but there are partners who save sex for later in a relationship. So, although it might be strange, you should note from our prior chapter about those deep conversations we are meant to have with our partner once a week. These 'State of the Unions' as described in our previous book is so that we can talk about what went well and what could improve in the week. You can take this time to ask your partner how they prefer to spend their money, or what they want out of your sex life. A lot of people don't do this, but it really is necessary to establish how frequently you want to have sex each week and what you want to use in bed," at this, even (y/n) gave a small laugh, noticing her students faces. "Conversations about childbearing can definitely be sprinkled in, and you can talk more deeply to your partner about how you envision your life in the future as a parent. I see in your case you've passed the getting to know you stage, but I would recommend you sit down and get down to the nitty-gritty of it all. For others, I wouldn't talk about how many kids you want during the first date, but these three topics are definitely worth mentioning early!"
Harry was focused on what (y/n) was saying. He always thought that their relationship was surely one to last since she teaches others about the foundations of relationships. He has noticed that she's more rational than him, and does things with reason.
After some more quick questions, (y/n) finally let her class go a few minutes before they were meant to end. Sighing, she stretched and made her way to Harry on the bed. He was already sitting with his back against the headboard, making it easy for her to strip her top layers (she had pajama shorts, she never wore slacks/skirts during Zoom meetings, don't tell her students) and rest her body on his.
Instantly, Harry's hands made their way to massage her back, caressing her. "Last class, right?"
"Mhm."
He looked down, seeing her eyes closed.
"Hard day, baby?"
(y/n) rubbed her face further into his chest, breathing him in. "No, I just missed you."
With a breathy laugh, Harry said "saw me last night."
"Shush. Why'd you get out of work early? Not that I'm complaining of course" (y/n) could spend all day in his chest, it was the perfect combination of warm, soft, breathing in his musk/cologne.
He moved one hand up to massage her scalp, knowing that it tend to hurt the longer she was on Zoom. "Missed shipment. Lectures went well?"
Laughing, (y/n) smiles, "You caught the most entertaining part of my lectures. Other class dealt with grooming and the whole child predators thing."
"Yeah, I'm glad I was able to sit in, learned a thing or two." He gave a chuckle that made (y/n) move on his chest, making her smile too. "It's so nice dating a marriage professor, I don't know why everyone isn't."
(y/n) finally sat up to look at Harry, amused at his conversation. "There's not enough of us to go around, you're lucky, baby."
"Always lucky with you." he smiled, dimples prominent. "You mentioned talking about those three things with your partner earlier but we never had. Is it too early?"
Sighing, (y/n) looked at him with a guilty smile. "Sure I teach this stuff for a living but I'm not an expert on how to do it in real-time. But no, it's not too early, I always recommend new relationships talk about it roughly a month or two in."
"Oooh," Harry smiled, moving his eyebrows up and down suggestively on the conversation they were surely about to have.
"Okay fine. I'll start with money. I always have wanted hefty savings as a backup of any and every worst-case scenario but you've already seen that I do like to indulge ... frequently."
The two looked at each other with such adoration, still in the beginning stages of their relationship. "I think I'm the same. But I really don't mind spending money on experiences, I think that's pretty important."
"Weird way of saying we should go on vacation soon," (y/n) laughed.
"Loser," he smiled back, "as for sex, I would say we're pretty compatible." Harry gave (y/n) a cheeky smile, causing her to let out a snort she was trying to conceal.
"Oh my god, Harry." She started to blush, shaking her head.
"Oh better yet, we should talk about frequency, no? I love loving on you whenever I can. Daily, if you'll let me."
"Daily? If you even have enough stamina." This elicited a fake hurt gasp from Harry, making the two chuckle. "As for what we like, we should be lucky we're especially compatible with that. I mean, two switches? Who would've thought."
"A girl who lets me fuck her senseless but also fucks me? Match made in heaven," he dreamily sighed. In response, (y/n) swatted at his chest with a smile.
"Finally, child-bearing." (y/n) resumed with the list.
"Definitely never," (y/n) stated at the same time Harry let out a happy: "I want four babies!"
The two looked at each other, although they weren't sure if it was out of fear or shock.
Harry was the first to break the silence, "what do you mean 'never'."
With a blank stare, (y/n) calmly answered: "It's never been a dream of mine to be a mother, Harry. In fact, it's a nightmare to give birth to a child. To raise them. I'm not made for it."
Instantly, Harry felt himself crumble at the thought of his future tumbling with the only woman he saw could be a part of it. "What? What do you mean by that?"
(y/n) eyebrows were furrowed, not expecting their conversation to take this turn. "I really don't know how else to explain it, Harry. That's not what I want."
"But I do." He felt frustrated, always assuming that they were so similar that this conversation wouldn't be any different.
(y/n) shook her head, sitting up to look at the bedsheets instead of his eyes. "I don't know what to say. I know what I want and I can't ask you to compromise your dreams because I wouldn't do the same."
"You don't want to have kids with me? I know it's early but, you don't see that for us?"
Exasperated, she looked at him, her eyes begging "I don't want that with anyone Harry! I've never wanted that!"
"But you study marriages and families!"
"That doesn't mean I actually want a fucking 'family,' I won't be content by having offspring, Harry!"
The two sat in silence, realizing the implications of the conversation. They both knew where this was going, but were both afraid to say anything more.
After a few minutes, Harry finally spoke up, although soft enough that (y/n) wouldn't be able to hear if she wasn't right by his side on the bed. "What ... does this mean for us, (y/n)?"
(y/n) knew exactly what it meant, she had been teaching the downfall of relationships for a few years now. "If we don't have a future, Harry, then we shouldn't continue."
He was expecting it, but it still tore his heart to hear those words come out of the girl he loves. He felt his eyes water, opting to squeeze them shut while praying the past ten minutes were a joke. Shortly, he heard the girl of his dreams sniffling at his side. Finally looking over, he saw her rubbing her eyes harshly. Harry slowly reached a hand up, moving her hands. "Please, baby, you're hurting your eyes."
As she looked at him, he saw the tears that kept spilling from her eyes without her control. Barely making out the words through her sobs, (y/n) cried to him, "I'm sorry- I'm so so sorry. I didn't think- it's just who I am, and- Harry, you deserve your family."
Sighing as silent tears fell on his face, he brought her into his arms once again, although the atmosphere had shifted from when she was in his chest moments ago. "It's okay, baby. Don't blame yourself, it's okay."
The two cried with one another, coming to the realization that they wouldn't be together anymore if they didn't have a future. Soon enough, they realized, their apartments would both lose the touch of one another.
Instead of facing the implications of this unexpected separation, they tightly held each other instead, warding off thoughts of their future without each other.
