Trialling a New Voice

We all have trials. Each has an odyssey. To pursue God is to have adventure in all its fullness.

[triallinganewvoice]

III

The swirling feelings within me The troubled milling of my mind Is a blessed state and truly Transcends the usual grind

This journey that I pres’ntly walk Edifies my being And, allowing that I do not balk Grows me ’til I’m kneeling

For when at last, I have gained Some modicum of wisdom Low, prostrate, I will remain There until I hear Him

(2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

Faded

I’m forgetting you Grasping for a memory Of your embrace Of your warmth Crying by your death bed in my heart Praying for healing Frozen by exposure Night enfolds in its shades One familiar embrace Always stays

[triallinganewvoice]

Burning

What happens when hope is disappointed? The supernova in its death-throw Collapses to a black hole of despair A singularity of pain

[triallinganewvoice]

Unto Death

Help me find what to trust in Help me hold onto what’s true Dying to oneself is easier when there is something else to live for. What I hope for goes past without me What I desire can no longer be mine The death of my cherished wish Leaves me scrambling to find new hope My mind gives plenty of answers But my feelings are drawn to the past Pain and loss and failure Comrades unto death

[triallinganewvoice]

Do Away

I'm undone by God He gives me so much goodness I want to find His heart and press it to my core I want to explore His vision I want to surpass awe I am clingy But He likes me I long But He cares I pursue and He hides a bit I chase Where did He go? Find me where I am Father, make me whole I long for satisfaction You alone can sate So I actively 'wait' I need You - more than before Where did You go? (2014)

[triallinganewvoice]

Being a Friend

Befriended by a friend I remain unfriendly Choosing to accept my friend Then is my heart mended Taking a chance with fate's Not what friendship means Trust's not risk with downside The chooser owns his fate I will befriend my friend (2014)

[triallinganewvoice]

Although

So much pressure But I have the strength to live Although I don't always see it I am not alone I am not alone There is hope out there Although I don't always see it There is a way through There is a way through I am not aimless or lost Although I don't always see it I am being led I am being led Condemnation has no hold Although I don't always see it My chains are gone My chains are gone I am strong with purpose Although I don't always see it I will not lie down and die (2014)

[triallinganewvoice]

Seeking and Abiding

We seek Your face and countenance, And knowledge for our minds. We seek Your love and goodness, But never fully find.

We cannot ever know You whole, Yet in finding more we delight; For You, Lord, know it all, And we are just finite.

Your presence is burning fire; Your light is brightest day; Our old natures on the pyre; Your light reveals the way.

Dwell with us longer now Lord; Stay with us throughout the night; Grant us the Word You call Sword, To fight with victorious might.

(2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

III

The swirling feelings within me The troubled milling of my mind Is a blessed state and truly Transcends the usual grind This journey that I pres’ntly walk Edifies my being And, allowing that I do not balk Grows me ’til I'm kneeling For when at last, I have gained Some modicum of wisdom Low, prostrate, I will remain There until I hear Him (2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

My Resort

God, I need You More and more of my life Is built on Your foundation I ask for more dependency I am hopefully lost in Your depths I am without any other hope I am Yours Bless me and keep me Cherish me. Father me Hold me close and stay near I cannot live without You My heart is only at rest in Your presence; Rest upon me I am Yours Take my hand and lead me Train me to fight the dangers Teach me that all I need is You Show me Your faithfulness Develop my love I am Yours, And You are mine (2014)

[triallinganewvoice]

I Long Only to be Broken

I long only to be broken To this world to die at last To believe what the Lord has spoken To Him alone to grasp To erase my fear of failure To begin at once afresh To enjoy the Spirit play tailor As He ties our hearts like mesh I long only to be afraid Of nothing bar my Lord To boldly work my trade To mighty rivers ford To engage the foe with pleasure To overcome with joy To enjoy the gifts of God’s treasure To realise the dreams of the boy I long only to be awoken To feel the Lord in my chest I long only to be broken To surrender and be at rest (2013)

[triallinganewvoice]

Him

Who would guide me through the deep? Whose Light can somehow shine? Whose Grace has made me weep? For Whose presence do I pine?

Who restored me after torment? Who resuscitated my soul? Who claimed my tortured heart? Whose Love has made me whole?

Who gave me absolution? Who offered amnesty? Who longs to bring me comfort? Who loves me jealously?

Who overcame the darkness? Who gave source to all the light? Who shows amazing mercy? Who commits to set all right?

Whose justice allows for mercy? Whose peace is not defeat? Who gives up His own for others? In my struggles, Who did I meet?

(2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

Assaulted

I’m burning with indignation The enemy assaults my soul I seek this divination: To know my heavenly role

My purpose rides before me In struggle there is gain Beside me there is darkness Within me there is pain

The Lord of earth and Heaven The Lord of angels and men The Lord abides within _them_ Who tread carefully in His Will

Dark creatures circle around me Growing stronger day by day They work to make me bow down To surrender my hope and way

They swarm as birds of carrion They work to block out the sun At worst I start to believe them To accept that they have won

My name is awakened within me A stirring answers my plea God works to resurrect me Faith has been the key

(2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

Resurrection

Thank You God for delivering me from the abyss of death. For I was there tonight. I could not see through or feel through the cloud of doubt; the oppression of doubt. I was devoid of hope, and no memory of goodness could sustain me. No place of joy could be found. I felt nothing but despair.

The pain.

And in this place I could not hope for an out. But You have trained me, and I remembered to cry out. I remembered to call to You, God. And I felt a little ray of hope, and it was infinitely better than before. Then You raised me to a place of favour, and I felt Your comfort. The enemy awaits his next opening, and the apprehension of the next attack is not pleasant.

Dwell with me longer now Lord Stay with me throughout the night Grant me the faith You call sword To fight with victorious might

(2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

Courage, Braveheart

The albatross greets the Dawn Treader ‘Courage, Braveheart’ he cries Hope, now, awakens on ship Penetrating the darkness he flies

The journey out is worse than in Frenetic activity now needed Best, then, to early begin And victory is thus seeded

(2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

More

Attribute to me discernment, Lord Give me rest forever and now Satisfy my spiritual ears Bless me to hear from You

Enhance the feeling of Love within Peacefully resurrect my hope Endure my constant nagging, Lord Assist me to seek You more

Be with me as the enemy encircles Destroy their efforts for sure Fight at my side, You do all the work I try but You win it for Us

There is little I can offer in this Thank You for accepting my effort Thank You for asking me to grow I know that it truly is worth it

Thank You for motivating me I need it, I do not deny Thank You for placating me I really am immature

(2012)

[triallinganewvoice]

Summoned to Being

I once dwelt in the darkness. I failed to acknowledge the Light. I failed to see my crime. I needed, but didn’t know what. The darkness cloaked my senses; The poison infected my thoughts; The influence corrupted my motives; I knew not that it could be fought. Within me I found a soft voice; When I cried out there was a response; My name was thereby revealed to me; God heard, and felt my remorse. Why was I broken in the first place? Why is healing so slow? The Lord is teaching me surely, But there’s much I need not to know. Here I find a lovely stance: I am a mite of dust; Enraptured within the Light, I dance, Floating higher on growing trust. The Light is the source of all that is good, I know this now for sure. So relieved I am, that I once sought God; So glad, I ask for more. (2012)