𝒕𝒓𝒊𝒄𝒓𝒔𝒆𝒅.

canon and oc muses as written and loved by a.

[tricrsed]

﹫tricrsed . a private and independent writing blog associated with the verse, kingdom lost, established 2024.

A STUDY IN ; responsibilities too heavy for young shoulders, irreparable damage, dysfunctional hearts, deep regrets, being the one who survives, compassion lost and the unbreakable bond of always and forever.

[hellonexrth]

It was good, that they no longer had to continue having this conversation. It was neither something that Kaya cared to talk about nor needed to. He was gone, he'd come back, and she'd outgrown him. If he couldn't get the message now, she would make it abundantly clear moving forward. There was no space for him in her life, there was no space for anyone, really. Theo was merely entertainment, preventing her from going completely insane at the drop of a hat. Though, of course, they shared in their own moments of insanity together. "Will I know where to find you?" she asked mockingly, tilting her head to the side, a last-ditch attempt to hurt him before they dropped this conversation and moved on. "Last time I tried, I couldn't." It didn't matter. Nothing did. She wouldn't go crawling back to this one last lifeline, this one last family member she didn't need. She wouldn't ever be the person she'd been before. Once he accepted that, well, it would be better for everyone.

She dragged her eyes away from Oliver's. It wasn't possible for her humanity to snap back on without her permission—it wasn't, but looking at him made everything harder. And she was glad, really glad, that Theo had arrived and saved her the hardship of having to keep that switch firmly in the off position. Though, she wouldn't have been able to wrench it all the way on if she really, desperately wanted to, either. She snaked an arm around Theo's waist and leaned her body into his, looking up at him with a convincing set of doe eyes, pouty and sad, before turning them back on Oliver. "You remember Theo, right? My boyfriend?" Semantics didn't matter when you killed tens to hundreds of people in one night, right? It didn't mean anything anyway, it was just a word. Not one meant to have any effect on Theo, but one meant to bother Oliver. Like, look! Here's another thing you missed.

"Very bored," she said, looking back to Theo with a pout. "He ruined my dinner." She looked down at their feet and nudged the woman with her heel. "Pretty sure she bled out. I didn't even get to kill her myself." And what a great loss that was. A thought occurred to her, and a cruel smile appeared on her lips, unable to keep it to herself. "Oh, and by the way," she started, like she was forgetting something vitally important. "You won't have to worry about Hope coming around the cafe anymore. I killed her."

[tricrsed]

eyes narrowed instantly, the second a pair of lanky arms wrapped themselves around the petite brunette’s waist. the action left the hybrid speechless for a micro second ⸺ the notion that they were still just ‘ children ‘ did come to the top of his head, along with the very strong urge to snap the boy’s neck. “ hmm… “ he began as he sized up, his friend’s son ( he could take him ) that much had been decided. “ we’ll need to have a talk about that… didn’t peg your taste as something pulled out of prince’s more elaborate wet dreams kid. “ because what the hell was the salvatore boy even wearing?

“ but if by remember, the nerd that followed you around all the time… sure why… “ and then his face fell, the snarky quip he’d prepared falling through as her words sunk into every crevice of his mind. clearly he was running circles trying to make sense of it. it was impossible, was that not the whole appeal of the ‘ mikaelson tribrid? ‘ the reason people feared that child before she was born was exactly that? she was supposed to be unstoppable… and then hid mind went to ingrid, another little mikaelson he’d taken a liking to.

the thought of their table remaining empty, the taunting idea of never seeing the three of them giggling together again. “ if that’s your idea of a JOKE ⸺ delivery needs work. “ because that’s all he could say, but maybe that explained the HOSTILITY he’d been met with from mikaelson barbie, rebekah had been less than thrilled to see him back. and now he had to worry.. surely the mikaelsons would come for her. that family was rutheless, he’d lived it first hand, SEEN it. and hope? well everyone knew how hard they’d fought for her, what she represented. “ kid… “ his voice died as the younger vampire chuckled.

“ is this the part where i call you dad? “ theo interjected with a roll of his shoulders a smirk present on his features as he looked down at the petite girl he pressed against him. not that he particularly cared if the hybrid tried to take her from him, in fact there really was LITTLE to nothing that rattled him in that way anymore. “ because between us, i don’t think my actual pop… would appreciate it much. “ stefan was sensitive that way or so he’d learned.

the knowledge of hope’s death did bring temporary satisfaction, if only because that’s what he remembered wanting when he could FEEL. when resentment ate him so violently it could almost bring him back to life. “ look at that, he does know what silence means… but hey look at this way, she’s saved you some money ⸺ no more free coffee to set out. “ he could see the hybrid’s closed fists, and it was funny to think that perhaps the man wanted nothing more than to ring his neck.

he could get in line, his LIST of people who wanted to play whack a mole with his head had only increased. but oliver’s mind was still reeling, because he really had missed EVERYTHING and that made his guilt feel a thousand pounds heavier. “ shouldn’t you be running home salvatore? last i remember midnight is like ten hours past your bed time. “ he shot back almost childishly, and the sentence made younger vampire chuckle. “ can’t didn’t you hear my lady? she’s hungry… “ and so was he, not that he was ever full, and even if he were the thrill of killing still existed. “ but hey if you find out when the funeral is…text us, we’ll send flowers. “

[hellonexrth]

"I can think of a few things you couldn't fix," Kaya said. There was a world in which she stood her ground, in which she listed all of the times she'd needed him, desperately, all of the times in which she'd picked up the phone to call him, only to spend far too long looking at his contact information instead, the text months old. She didn't care about his grief, about his feelings. What he felt regarding the death of his friends, her parents. None of it mattered to her. He'd been gone, and so had she. They'd both avoided one another. But she wouldn't be the one to crawl back. She wouldn't apologize. Couldn't, even if she wanted to.

But there was a list. A long one. A calendar of events she could have recounted for him. Starting with her trip to hell and ending with Ingrid's inability to keep her mind shut. Katherine's interference. In truth, none of it mattered enough. It was a waste of effort, bringing him up to speed. Not when this relationship was one she cared about rebuilding. Blame it on the lost humanity of the demonic intention; the source of her apathy didn't matter. All she knew was that she wanted to be far away from him and his ability to start plucking away at the bricks she'd so hastily laid to build the wall around herself.

Then he hugged her, brought her in toward his chest. She let herself linger for a second too long. Let herself feel warmth and comfort, let a brick fall from the tallest wall—and for a second it felt like a landslide, like all of it would come down, and then she would have to face everything she'd done and the people she'd hurt. How had Hope and Ingrid done it, after their year away? She hadn't heard many people at that point, but now her ledger was red. The darkness crept up her throat, singed the stinging tears in the corners of her eyes, and dragged her deeper down with it. She pressed her hands against his chest and showed herself away, shaking the feeling of love free from her brain. It was not something she deserved to feel, anyway. It was better this way. In the dark. In the cold.

"You're not my family," she snapped, recoiling from pushing away, straightening herself out, rolling her shoulders. It didn't matter. He didn't matter. She was fine. Everything was fine. Her feelings were tucked into a small box inside her chest, and none of this mattered. She wouldn't let it. "You never were." She wanted, more than anything, to reach up and wrap her arms around her chest, to sob heaving, body-racking cries, and let him take care of her. But she couldn't allow herself to want it, either. Not really. "I don't need you, and I don't want you here. You shouldn't have come back." She cleared her throat, still lined with blood, slick. Reigniting her thirst, her anger, her pain tied in a knot deep down in a place she could not truly reach. "There's nothing here for you anymore." Her hands itched, wanting to crawl upward, to hold herself together, keep herself from falling apart. She licked her lips. Tasted the blood. Reminded herself of who she was. She looked at Oliver. Saw a man who'd cared about her father—and reminded herself who had taken that away. "You should go, and we can both pretend you were never here. It won't be hard."

[tricrsed]

the hybrid could feel the subtle hint of a STING in the back of his eyes. the familiar prickle of tears he refused to shed in FEAR of making another devastating moment about himself, and the pain he felt. he’d had enough of that when his best friends ( her parents ) died ⸺ but his usually proud posture did deflate for a moment, head shaking, as if to silently rebuke what she was saying. he should have called, that was CLEAR to him now, hell he should have made back home to her sooner. but living in a world of ‘ what if’s ‘ did nobody any favors, he’d done as such when he was forced to turn and at just about every major event in his life. always second guessing why LIFE tested the way it did.

and fuck was she YOUNG, too inexperienced to carry all the burdens that she did. but he couldn’t make them disappear ⸺ could he? at the very least he could help her carry them, he wanted to. “ you’re going to have to try much HARDER than that… “ he didn’t complete his sentence, because his voice did falter ‘ you’re not my family ‘ that stung and if anything was untrue in this conversation it was those four words. “ too bad, because you’re mine. “ even if she rejected it now, despite everything she had done, he didn’t need details.. this as far as he was concerned was the little girl he’d seen grow up. the chaotic and happy little thing he’d seen blossom into one of if not the most extraordinary PEOPLE he’d ever met.

“ and you’ll know exactly where to find me, when you realize that. “ he assured her with a firm nod. it wasn’t until a scoff in the distance caught his attention that the wolf hybrid pulled away. light eyed instantly recognizing the figure in a corner. the salvatore kid, elena’s ⸺ at least that hadn’t changed. he was still following kaya around, and that sparked some hope in the hybrid.. a semblance of possibility that somewhere underneath everything she fronted, her TRUE self was present.

he could have made his presence known much EARLIER, theodore knew that. however why waste such a GOLDEN opportunity? it was after all entertaining to watch somebody else try to reach his.. was she his girlfriend now? the vampire wasn’t even sure, they did what COUPLES did obviously, but did it count when high on blood and murder? not that it mattered really, the little scene he’d witness had been enough of a mirror not just because he’d been there before the hybrid.. but because he knew his FAMILY wanted the same opportunity to reach him.

and maybe it would work, seeing his mother’s sad doe eyes, his father’s understanding gaze and his annoying little sister’s reassuring words in his ear. he had PEOPLE waiting for him, and he understood that but he felt nothing about it, not for them or against them. it wasn’t even ‘ hate ‘ no since turning it off all he had was a sense of mind numbing apathy, the kind that led him to play with his best friend’s emotions ⸺ taunting her with her sister’s demise. a fact he couldn’t even bring himself to celebrate really… because again that resentment he harbored for the eldest mikaelson wasn’t really there anymore.

theodore was by all means useless as a SOURCE of emotion and he liked it that way. so he’d taken a few slow steps toward the two, who’s ‘ moment ‘ he’d purposefully stepped into. “you’ve gone mute or something? “ he heard the hybrid call out, a dead smirk forming on the vampire’s features for a second. oliver had intimated him back in the day, another name he’d wanted to impress because he mattered to the girl he’d once been so desperately in love with. but he was nothing now, she’d said so.. and it was that thought that made hum scoff. “ aren’t you a little old to not have manners? “ he countered with a challenging quirk of his brow. “ i mean seriously oliver, grow a little. “ he taunted, nose scrunching upwards as hazel eyes landed on his current partner in crime. “ you bored yet? figured… you’d need a more INVITING, escort home. “

[hellonexrth]

"Me? Starved?" she raised a brow, looking up at him with her arms crossed over her chest, still—unfortunately, and due to her own desire to stir the pot—without a cup of coffee in her hand. Maybe he was right, maybe it hadn't been worth it. Of course, not for any of the reasons he'd listed, but because she desperately wanted the shitty cup of coffee right then. Maybe the caffeine would make his company more tolerable. At least he was nice to look at. What would Grant think about her slithering around with someone else? Surely this man had no interest in someone like her, and had made such things very clear, but her mind always drifted in the presence of such men. Men who thought themselves above her, better than her, stronger than her. It always came back to that. To this. How could she use them, manipulate, make them sorry for the way they thought about her? "Never."

And yet, there she was, looking up at him as if he were the answer to all her life's problems. If only the solution were that easy. If only there were someone who could solve everything wrong. The unfortunate truth was that only she could dig herself out of the hole she'd dug. And that hole, well, it was at the bottom of a trench, and her nails had six layers of dirt under them from all the time she'd spent trying to claw her way out. He was just a man. A coffee shop owner, and at that moment, a pain in her ass. He was a pretty face, but he wasn't a solution to anything any more than the caffeine was. And he was annoying. Annoying enough to bring her claws out, to make her want to play with him like she did everyone, to make him a puppet in her life like all the rest, because no one stayed otherwise—right?

God, this was all too existential for what was supposed to be a normal coffee run. "I always finish what I start," she said, instead, inclining her head in an attempt to look down on him, which was, of course, impossible. But she still rolled her shoulders back all the same, still batted her lashes and smiled. "Why would I go to a spa when I can do all the unwinding I need right here? You know what I think?" she said, letting her smile stretch wide. "I think I'm going to be your new favorite regular."

[tricrsed]

she was determined, he had to give her that. not necessarily willingly nor would he do so out loud, but the smile that began to form on his features had to be the giveaway. was this her way of making FRIENDS? if that’s what this was ⸺ other ideas had crossed his mind, he was a man after all, simple that way but endlessly complicated in others. “ desperate for company? i believe there’s an app for that. “ he teased with a wiggle of his brows, nose scrunched for a moment, before he gestured towards the coffee bar. “ tell ya what bird…I’ll personally brew that COFFEE for you, if you promise to save that bark.. for anyone other than the kids i employ. “

the last thing he needed was more traumatized youth. he was having hard enough of a time as it was, trying to reel in the ONE kid he was actually responsible for. “ b’sides something tells me that you’d enjoy someone a few sizes bigger… “ what that meant he’d let her decide, words were accompanied by a knowing smirk , one that faded for a second as he looked her over. it wasn’t ELENA, that much he knew and while he’d heard the stories ⸺ he still hadn’t been prepared to meet his best friend’s ‘ evil twin ‘ or as he’d once heard one of the salvatore brothers say ‘ satan incarnate ‘ “ i’d think fast if i were you, i’n not ABOVE throwing you out of my shop.. “ lady or not, if she wanted difficult then he’d return the energy, possibly even double it. this was one way to take out his FRUSTRATIONS with the mess he’d come back to, or so he’d decided.

[tricrsed]

‘ you’re late again kid ‘ he could already hear his boss disgruntled voice in his head. the huff that would follow, his own argument about the universe CONSPIRING against him, was already something that played in the back of his mind. a memory of something that hadn’t happened was that possible? the young man surely didn’t know, but given how he’d been grieving the PARENTS he hadn’t yet lost, something told him that perhaps yes, it could be possible. his apron was sloppily tied around his waist and his already frazzled nature was even more on edge as he pushed his way through the crowds of tourists around him. leave it to him, to find the most INCONVENIENT city to move to.

but he needed large, according to his parents his lack of ‘ obvious ‘ magical ability would keep him well hidden. his inability to be traced or controlled by supernatural beings including his OWN deranged coven had finally paid off. so he’d kept his down, found the most normal job he possibly could, even enrolled in some classes at the local university and played his part well. it was then that the buzz of his cell phone had him jumping, concentrating on pulling it out of his pocket, his attention was anywhere but where he was going ⸺ and then it was felt, a thud. “ fuck ! “ he whispered yelled, as light eyes found themselves staring into impressively round and dark ones. “ i mean… i “ he mumbled with an embarrassed but soft smile. “ here.. “ he gently extended an arm, in an attempt to help the petite brunette up. “ i’ve got two left feet.. “ he offered as an explanation once more as he looked down at his apron. “ horrible selling point for a barista. “ he added, gesturing towards ollie’s coffee shop. “ need a caffeine fix? “ what? could he be blamed? they were striking, and he was still a simple boy underneath all the ‘ forced maturity’ he’d been made to accumulate. “ in the LEAST creepy way… possible, although… that might have just made it weird. “ he paused again, a light hearted snort slipping from his lips. “ we’re in public at least? “

location ....outside of ollie’s coffee shop , featuring ....soledad gerard !! ( @devouredxmuses )

[devouredxmuses]

" no, i prefer the forest. " though, wasn't that nature's cemetery ? " i'm in my twenties. i'll save the others for my mid-millenia crisis. " ingrid replied waving her off. " oh, so normal human beings take jobs that specialize in devastation ? is it easier to sleep at night because there's a paycheck for your murder ? or maybe you're just disconnected enough from it. i think you humans forget you're still predators. " morality is fickle and dependent on too many factors. gone were the days of black and white, if they had existed at all. everything was gray. ingrid wasn't exactly the best person to have this conversation. surely between the two, ingrid had more bodies. in the tribrid's case, her humanity had been gone when she took those lives, humans killed with their's firmly intact. " you a vegan ? " because if not, what leg did rory have to stand on. at least the tribrid could catch and release. it had been too long since she'd fed from the tap anyway.

a throaty laugh falls at the brunette's dig. a question she'd pondered long enough to take the sting out of the implication. " my family may basically be royalty, doesn't mean we think in terms of heir and spare. " plus, the pair only shared a mother. each of their fathers left behind an heir of their own. " families that actually love each other tend to multiply. your parents clearly had other priorities. " money and control obviously. something the mikaelsons had consolidated centuries before hope was even born. " maybe if they would have spent more time with you as a kid we wouldn't be in this situation. " the worlds were thrown out to hurt. ingrid knew next to nothing about the other, it was all speculation.

after a beat ingrid focus's her gaze back down to the book in her hands. " seriously. how did you even go about making it ? " the reversal had to come down to something in it's creation. even if it didn't, no stone left unturned right ? she also wanted a little more insight into the collective. what was the source material that they had ?

[tricrsed]

“ is the thirst for POWER something you’re saving for the next millennium too? “ she countered with a clear roll of her eyes, as the brunette did her best to hide the fact that the tribrid’s words had stung. still it did make her wonder, what was beck doing? had he pushed her away because of what she was saying now? did he truly believe that she couldn’t accept him as he was? because she could and she would ⸺ he was hers, she was his, SOULMATES. creepily connected ones, but that wasn’t something she cared to investigate, not yet anyway. “ as opposed to being an all you can eat buffet? “ she snapped in a huff, dramatically pushing the book she’d been focused on to the edge of the table. it was all she could do to keep herself from throwing it at mikaelson. “ some of us don’t want to be SERVED up on a silver platter, but yes… murderer of something that’s already dead makes the mall shopping sprees fell that more rewarding. “ did she mean it? no. she’d seen the sadness in the mop head vampire’s eyes, the desperation of seeing the person he loved gone. and it had pulled at her, the RESOLVE she’d held for so many years was waining but she couldn’t possibly turn back now ⸺ not if she wanted to make sure her best friends, her family survived the collective and the mikaelsons.

the red head’s next taunt caused her to fall silent, her line of sight falling to the ground as the familiar sting of tears prickled in the back of her eyes. “ you’re probably right… “ she replied with a turn of her head, a hand coming to rub her cheeks for a moment before she turned her attention back on the girl. “ not that i’ll ever know for SURE seeing as they were murdered when i was seven. “ and she hated that it still hurt, that broken little girl who’d lost her family, her father who’d called her princess and who told her how beautiful she was, how special and her mother, the first partner in crime she ever had, the one who’s taste she’s inherited or so those who knew her said. rory herself? well she didn’t know if what she remembered was even REAL, maybe she’d idolized them so much that their faults had truly disappeared. “ remind me to walk by your family’s grave with a rose and express my thanks by the way. “ now did she need to share that? no, but she was also not going to sit here and be seen as a heartless monster. not when the truly heartless had been the ones who’d made a seven year old, an orphan…and then it came another subject change. “ red oak. “ she stated bluntly. “ one of of our members… found a stake or maybe she stole it..” regardless that had been the staring point. “ ancestral magic… “ it was why she required the tribrid’s magical powers after all. “ she took in a sharp breath and paused for a long moment before speaking again. “ the witches around here… they were all too eager to settle a few scores, it wasn’t exactly difficult to find volunteers you know. “

[devouredxmuses]

where: freya mikaelson's home library. who: ingrid & rory ( @tricrsed ).

god did she wish to be numb. even after trying to lock all that emotion away safely, it didn't disappear. instead there was a sharp ache that tugged at her endlessly. a gaping hole that had been torn through her in hope's absence. ingrid wasn't alone really, no, she had heath, laurie, caroline, sol, her aunts and uncles. but it wasn't the same. the core of her family was gone. each member ripped from her one by one until the youngest mikaelson was left all alone. no. hope wasn't lost to her. not entirely. always and forever meant something. that was the mantra she found herself repeating when she felt even an ounce of her control slipping from the firm grasp she wrangled it under.

hope was going to wake. ingrid was going to do everything tribridly possible to bring her sister back from whatever nightmare she was in. it strengthened the redhead. gave her something to put all of her focus and energy into. falling apart would only leave her sister stuck in whatever state she was in now. and that was why she found herself here with essentially the enemy. ingrid would play nice enough only if it would produce results. the second the other woman was proven useless or if ingrid caught even a whiff that betrayal was on the horizon, the tribrid would take her out. at this moment, rory was a means to an end.

the pair had been pouring over many of ingrid's aunt freya's magical tomes for quite a bit now in silence. every once and a while ingrid would throw a glance over in the other's direction. sizing her up. after some time the silence was nagging at her. plus, rory being collective brought a morbid sense of curiosity. ingrid knew that right now she might need rory, but that didn't mean she was going to be on her best behavior. when had she ever been ? " so, the collective got a collection like this hidden in some weird ass lair or something ? " she asks with a little bit of a bite.

[tricrsed]

her idea of effective teamwork did NOT include, the looming threat of death, nor were the heiress’s idea of teammates, a bunch of emotionally unstable vampires, who’d like nothing more than to rip her in half. beggars couldn’t be choosers however, and despite being ‘ obligated’ via threat, aurora couldn’t help but admire the RESOLVE. the way these people, that family seemed to love each other, it made her wonder and it gave her hope that perhaps one day, both beck and piper would find something like that.

not that it stopped her from being irritated, however and that much was made evident as she allowed the heavy leather bound cover of a spell book fall, the loud slap resonating in the space that had been purposefully kept between the young woman and the spare tribrid ( words she’d heard the collective use ) from tormenting each other with anything outside of the sounds of ruffling pages and sneezing, as dust covered books, were tossed on tables, for them the scour through.

“ aren’t creepy, coffins, cementareis and weird rooms more your speed? “ the brunette countered with a quirk of a perfectly plucked brow. “ it was my JOB, i had.. have a desk, like a normal human being. “ she added with a roll of her shoulders, shocking surely but the collective wasn’t anything remotely otherworldly , outside of the witches ⸺ just a bunch of humans, who’d banded together in pursuit of the same goal ‘ the eradication of the supernatural ‘ their individual reasons, never the center of it all, but her parents’ murder had been dangled in front of her, more than once. and while she was helping, part of her couldn’t help but feel accomplished, because the tribrid would come back, at least that was the plan. but her parents wouldn’t, and klaus mikaelson was the reason. so hey? what was a little lingering hatred between… paused, enemies? “ not all of us get off on the idea of torture dungeons and severed limbs. “ grant did, but that wasn’t a conversation she wanted to have. “ so you’re like… “ she paused as she gathered her thoughts. “ the extra? what were your parents afraid the midget version of the package would run out of batteries or something some day? “ another pause fell between them. “you know now that we’re asking impertinent questions and all. “

[dailybtvs]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (1997-2003) “Spiral”

[tricrsed]

@devouredxmuses !!

[hellonexrth]

You. It should have been inconsequential. It should have been meaningless. Just another person trying to get her to break through all the walls she'd built. Ingrid had tried. Hope had tried. Even Theo had put in a little bit of effort before she'd won him over. This moment should have been exactly the same. It should have rolled right off her back. Meaningless. But Ollie had never been meaningless. And she'd run away so easily. From him, from everyone. Holding her father's life in her hands and crushing it with one outburst of energy, of built up anger and demonic rage—all over a sacrifice she hadn't wanted, hadn't needed. And if she just had been somewhere else in the first place. Maybe Ollie's best friend wouldn't be dead. That meant more to her now than the implications on her own life. What she'd done to him, not how it affected her. Even then, she found it difficult to stand in front of him, to face him. Because he hadn't left without saying goodbye. Not really. She'd made herself scarce. Made herself impossible to say goodbye to. It had been Kaya who'd run. It was always Kaya.

"No," she said, quite. Lips pressed into a tight line to keep herself together. Because she could not let this through. She would not let this through. Would not let it be the thing that brought her back down to rock bottom. Not when she'd done such a good job putting herself up on a pedastal where nothing could touch her, hurt her, leave her. "No, you shouldn't have come back." Her hands laced through her hair, blood coated tips caking dark strands. Her palms laid flat against her scalp and she tried to process. Her chest ached more than it ever had, and it felt—for a split second, as if she was reliving all of it. Looking into his blue eyes had been a mistake. Because all she could see were childhood afternoons with Hope at the table in the corner of his coffee shop. All she could see were game nights with him and her parents, and sometimes Hope, if she could convince her dad to just be cool. All she could see were the moments where her mom helped her with her makeup before some dance, warned her about drinking, and disappeared down the stairs. All of them waiting at the bottom to completely embarass her.

At the same time, in that hollow pit of her chest, she felt nothing. She felt the pain of heartbreak over and over again, like a heart attack. But the feeling did not reach her. Or, at least, it did not move her. It attacked like a nuissance, but she worked faster, patching up the spots in her facade that it damaged so easily. He wanted to get her out of there. Take care of her. Clean her up. Her lips turned down into a frown, and the sadness hit like a freight train. Not because all of the guilt had caught up with her, but because she could not have this. Because she would hurt him. She would hurt herself. She would hurt everyone around her just to keep them from breaking through.

So she shook her head again, that same tragic frown pulling the corners of her lips even further down. "You can't," she said. "You can't fix this." Her head shook, quick movements. It didn't stop shaking, not while the disbelief still coursed hot through her veins, mingling with the blood of the woman she'd just killed. Another to add to the list. Didn't Theo's dad keep a list somewhere? She couldn't even be bothered to learn their names in the first place. "I—" she started, looking away from his face, from the only family that she had left, and found relief in the sight of the city moving on outside the alleyway. Felt relief as soon as the memories stopped bombarding her. She didn't look at him when she turned back. But inclined her head, focusing on a spot of brick to the side of his shoulder. "There's nothing to catch up on, Ollie. I've been doing really well without you." She chuckled drly under her breath. Rolled her shoulders. "Certainly don't need you now."

[tricrsed]

the hybrid’s breath hitched, his features reflecting concern, as his line of sight focused on the young girl in front of him. the inside of his mind was racing, as he dissected every possible scenario it possibly could as quickly as thoughts and memories were allowed to move. the man could practically feel the tightness that settled in his heart, as he realized that this version of a girl who’d once been so FAMILIAR was nothing like the one he knew. sure she looked like her, from the top of her head, down to her toes ⸺ and yet she still felt like a STRANGER, and he couldn’t help but blame himself for it.

maybe he did deserve her distance, he had after all let his own emotions get the better of him. but what could he do? grief had to be FELT, he’d learned that, when his pack was slaughtered, the moment he realized he’d been left all alone, and had it not been for tyler, her father ⸺ oliver would have given into an easy exit. despite his usual lack of words, the man like all wolves felt too much and he felt deeply. such was the nature and curse of a wolf, and it was because of such an emotional capacity that he’d decided that he would be what his FRIEND had been for him, he hadn’t been able to repay him, while still here so what better way to do so than by protecting the one part of him that was left.

“ hmm.. “ he began, arms folding across his chest before he spoke again. “ you and i have a very different idea of what ‘ doing fine ‘ means kid. “ he began with a shake of his head. “ i mean judging by the dracula couture you’re sporting ⸺ i think good has completely sailed out the window. “ the eternal sarcasm that defined him, did seep through for a second, but his features were soft, eyes full of unspoken sadness as he refused to accept what was true. despite his quick understanding of it, he couldn’t bring himself to believe that he’d actually been gone so LONG for this to happen, how did it happen? why would anyone want to?

“hey.. “ he swallowed, his throat feeling tight as his stiff stance fell once more. he took a few steps forward, his movements were slow, if only to avoid startling her (well more so than he’d already done so, with his hasty entrance. ) “ come on now, there’s hardly anything i’ve ever not been able to fix, yeah? “ and then he did it, an arm pulled her towards him. he hesitated for a moment, wondering if it was a crazy idea do what he wanted to but then again it had been over a year and it was long over due so he’d pulled the petite brunette flush against his chest into a tight hug. “ maybe i can’t undo this..” he whispered in her ear, wanting to make sure she heard him. “ but i can be, with you, through it ⸺ if there’s anything i’ve learned while away.. it’s that everyone needs someone sweetheart. “ obvious? maybe to most but he was stubborn and so was she: “ especially us, i’m your family kaya, no matter what. “ and that didn’t go away, EVER. it couldn’t, not after everything that had happened to her, he refused to leg her process alone. “ so come on, talk to me.. yeah? “ he paused again. “ your bed’s waiting for you, let’s go home, you and me? okay? well figure it out. “

[hellonexrth]

Living in this world with him—the one in which they both pretended nothing around them was falling apart to the studs—was a dangerous game. Because she realized, early on, that even more than she liked to argue with him, to raise his blood pressure, to get completely and totally under his skin, she liked to see him happy. And unfortunately, it did not seem like those moments, like this one, were plenty. In fact, they felt fleeting. Here and then gone. It was all she could do to reach out and lace her fingers through his, anchoring them both to the present, where she refused to let things fall apart.

She followed him, because as it turned out, she would follow him anywhere. No matter how many times he tripped over his own feet, no matter how many times their conversation fizzled and left behind the awkward silence of a first, second, third date. Awkward, yes, but companionable too. Her eyes always falling onto his as he tried to work his way through whatever thoughts roiled behind those eyes. And she could only smile and hope the rest of the evening would be spent in such a way. But it was strange, for a little while, to be together without constantly combating his every word. Often she had to hold her tongue and remember that they were not in a verbal, nor physical sparring match. That for now, and perhaps for good, they were on the same side.

"I didn't say that," she commented under her breath with a hint of a smirk as he pulled her into the crowd. Her pencil skirt and blouse were lovely, yes, but they were no match for the well-dressed guests around them. It didn't matter. Nothing seemed to. He had that way about him, of making all the things she'd cared about for so long seem entirely meaningless. There was no hunger biting at the back of her throat, her eyes didn't linger on the necks of innocent bystanders. She almost felt human. And there was no time, even, to think about how much that should have hurt. She took a sip of her champagne and then placed it to the side, turning her attention back to him. "Plenty of idiots have," she said, smiling as his nose touched hers, her hands raising up to settle on his shoulders, savoring the warmth of him and wanting to be closer. God, she felt like such a sentimental, chasing the high of their first kiss. He had turned her into some kind of sap with only one touch. "Oh, please," she shook her head. "I'm sure you're fine. But yes. I will. Before we get kicked out. Which we will. You're not exactly subtle," she said, teasing and yet smiling, smiling more than she ever had before—while working hard to hold the fleeting moment tight in her grasp, lest they both remember everything they hated about the other, lest some inconvenience, some supernatural or hunter or otherwise dangerous threat pull them apart.

[tricrsed]

“ what do my jeans not match the ambiance? “ he questioned as a strong arm came to wrap itself around her waist, pulling her closer into him, in a silent way to find as much peace as he possibly could. his mind only seemed to rest when he could feel her close to him, as if somehow she’d become the only tether he had to the REALITY in which, he understood who he was. and maybe that was too much pressure, in fact he understood it was too much, but the fear he felt otherwise made it impossible for him to want to let go.

but this wasn’t the moment for that spiral, so he’d pushed it to the back of his mind, focusing only on the feelings and sensations that feeling her skin against his brought forward. that urge to want to have some fun for a change, do something that a young man his age should be doing. they weren’t hunter and hunter in this moment, nor had they been such for a long time, despite his unwillingness to see it until now. the young man wanted nothing more than to make up for all of the time, they couldn’t have been wrapped up in each other, instead of pushing and pulling away. “ subtle’s boring… “ he began as the soft song played around them. “ subtle is not why you like me. “ he declared, his nose still grazing hers, as his lips hovered so close to her own. “b’sides, i think we’ve got more than one song ⸺ if they keep the champagne going. “ he added with a chuckle, before lips melted into hers, an action that made him realize just how ADDICTIVE the feeling of having her felt. there would be nothing he wouldn’t do to keep chasing that high, that much he had promised himself. “ you look beautiful by the way… “ he stated with a cheeky grin. and he meant it, she was nothing short or a vision. but that much he’d caught onto long ago. “ it’s a good thing, we don’t run the risk of broken toes… “ and then it happened, he’d stumbled a little, feet tangled for a second as he found his balance. “ like i said… menace, absolute menace on a dance floor. “

he’d used an arm to twirl her our, before pulling her back to him. “ although, part me would love to see if you can pull off a hospital gown. “ the answer more that likely being yes, but that compliment was too easy to pay forward, so he’d settle on the tease and another stolen kiss because he’d never grow tired of doing that. nor did he want to run the risk of forgetting what it felt like, and given the state of his memory at present and how everything seemed to be slipping away from him ⸺ that reality seemed to be closer than he’d ever want it to be. “ back to those idiots… any worth remembering? “ he wanted to know her, everything because if he lost himself in her, maybe he’d find pieces of himself, it seemed to work before, surely it would keep working, it had to.

[hellonexrth]

Restraint was not a word in her vocabulary. Not a word she remembered nor could begin to embody. For the most part, this new role she'd taken on involved following Katherine Pierce around like a puppy, taking orders and feasting on passersby. The two mostly did not speak. Katherine put weapons in her hand, instructed her on where to point them, and disappeared. Sometimes, she stuck around long enough to remind Kaya exactly why the people they hurt deserved it. But Kaya didn't need much convincing. Both humans and the supernatural had let her down. Her mother, dying in a sacrifice Kaya had never asked for. Her father, being so fragile when he needed to be strong, when he needed to remain alive. Ingrid, failing to fight off the mind control, and Theo, letting her down at every possible turn. None of it mattered anymore. Not really. Not unless she dwelled on it—and she did everything she could not to dwell on anything.

The curling darkness in her chest distracted the tribrid from most pain. Without it, turning her humanity off alone wouldn't have done a damn thing. The emotions were too strong, and there were far too many of them, creeping in from all angles. Family and loves lost, friendships broken, and the loneliness—the loneliness, most of all. It wasn't unlike returning to town after the one year stint away with Hope and Ingrid. But at least then, they'd been by her side. They'd screwed up together. This was different. This was suffocating loneliness, with no one to turn to. On top of that, the demonic aspect of her identity swirled, summoning a rage that mixed well with her wolf side and a hunger that drove the vampire inside crazy. As Katherine had put it, she was a perfect killing machine. The perfect closed-loop. Self-cannibalizing on the pain and the anger and the sadness. Using it to feed the monster.

The girl beneath hardly existed anymore. And nothing mattered. No really. She did what The Collective told her to. She spent time with Theo. But none of it made her feel anything. It was all simply entertainment to pass the time. She did not love Theo, did not take joy in the killing. Or maybe she did. A false joy, at least. Something to pass the time. As warm blood slid down her throat, it did occur to her that she liked this. But even liking something wasn't the same as it used to be. It made her smile cold and distant, but she wasn't happy. It was satisfaction. Being able to take and therefore taking. Anything she wanted. Whenever she wanted. It was the satisfaction of having Theo, even if she didn't love him. It was the satisfaction of hurting Hope, of getting the last laugh, of being feared. And there was nothing left inside to make her second-guess the nature of those thoughts.

The voice immediately sounded familiar. But it couldn't have been Oliver. He might as well have been dead, the way he'd left, too. All at once, she'd lost every adult in her life. All the people who cared about her enough to tell her she was being an idiot. And, as it turned out, she was not great without supervision. Without love and friendship. And she was so easy to lead astray. Maybe that was his fault. It felt easier to blame him. But when he pulled her away from the woman, almost dead, she whimpered—craving the last drops of blood he'd taken. And she almost lashed out. Almost reached out to shove the huge man away from her. Despite the size difference, she could have done it. In stopping herself, the crack formed. Then he spoke. I'm sorry. It widened, and everything began to fall out, and her eyes searched his fast, running through memories and all the moments she wished he'd been there for, and she was struggling to shove all the feelings falling out of her chest back in, because they were starting to overwhelm her, and she couldn't handle that right now, probably would never be able to handle it again, but she could only look at him, with lips half parted. "You're here," she said, numb and soft, devoid of tone but full of crackling emotion only a few steps away. "Why?"

[tricrsed]

‘ ouch ‘ was the immediate answer that came to mind as ocean colored eyes found themselves mirrored in his goddaughter’s darker ones ⸺ then again it was possible that he deserved it a little, if not a lot he’d LEFT without really saying much past a goodbye and he could sense that it had been a mistake, a grave one. how could she question why he was there? why’d he’d come home? despite his constant grumbling about the french quarter being a CURSE more than it was any sort of blessing, it was where his family was, she was here that was motive enough. “ you. “ he stated softly, the word was clumsy but no less void of conviction, she was the REASON for everything these days, or so he’d come to find and he’d once promised to protect her, that vow stood in place now more than ever.

“ i’m here for you kiddo. “ everything else be damned, he didn’t care that she was covered in blood, nor that she’d just drained the life out of someone. had she nod heard that his shop was open again? had he not been loud enough? no, he should have done this sooner, gone to seek her out, the second he’s gotten back. the hybrid however realized that WORDS were not his strong suit, expressing his emotions openly wasn’t something he did very willingly, actually it wasn’t something he EVER did. but his actions spoke for him, which only came to highlight his recent ones, or lack there of.

but he couldn’t linger on that now, not when something told him that things were WRONG. as they had been since tyler and gabriela died, the world around them had seemed upside down since then, and he’d needed a moment to put it back together, but that was settled now, and he was here that had to count for something didn’t? “ you should… we should.. “ he extended an arm towards the young girl in silent offer for her to take hold of it. the words ‘ we should talk ‘ felt completely inconsequential in this moment. there was a body on the ground and the thud of it falling wouldn’t be something he’d forget soon.

still hid mind drifted into ‘ problem solving mode ‘ because that was all he really could do. “ you need to get cleaned up, i can take care of this. “ he gestured to the space around them, in a frantic attempt to provide security. “ it’ll be fine.. “ because he was good at that making things better, a talent he possessed or so he’d once heard it said. as soon as this was fixed, they’d find the time to talk, maybe over a cup of much needed coffee, in a place he knew she thought of as SAFE, because that’s what she needed wasn’t it? at least he’d decided it was. and he was happy to see her, despite the circumstances, that much he knew rang true. “ and then… fucking hell, we need to catch up. “ another fact and not a question, because it would be stupid to ask, given what he’d just seen. running a hand over his face he huffed. “ fuck..” he’d finished before he looked her way again, light colored eyes trying to find some kind of answer in the doe of hers.

[hellonexrth]

Guilt was not an emotion she was accustomed to having, and feeling it nestle under her skin only made her more pissed off. Maybe that was why she chose to pick a fight with the teenager who'd made her coffee perfectly fine. But as the man's smooth voice caught her attention from behind and she whipped to face him, her smile stretched. He was handsome. No hot. Too hot for his own good, probably. Hot enough to keep her entertained for at least an afternoon or so. Would he be easy to persuade into her bed, or would it take a few days of batting her eyelashes before he fell victim to her charm just like every other man she'd ever been with. Or... maybe not every. But those were, again, thoughts for another day. Thoughts she slipped into a envelope and sealed away in a box, never to be opened.

Even though she could and did hold a grudge, against many, it did not befit her to linger on feelings so long pass. Betrayals of men who had loved her and then moved on, who had chosen other—similar women to warm their beds. It shouldn't have bothered her. It didn't need to, anyway. She was fine. Better off without either Salvatore brother. At least she was alive, which was more than could be said for one of the two. Her second choice, anyway. And never even a real one. A toy to play with when she was bored. Maybe this man could become as such when Grant lost his sparkle. Truth be told he already had. His sparkle came at convenience alone and necessity. She liked him about as much as he liked her, and she was comfortable with that.

God. What was she thinking, anyway? Did every man need to be an object to be toyed with? Her damned brain answered with a quick and immediate yes as she smiled at the man. He was much, much taller than her. The top of her head barely cleared his broad shoulders and she had to tilt her head to look up at him. Her smile was innocent and playful, her brows drawn together. She may as well have placed a hand against her chest and said, who me? "I have plenty of hobbies," she said, instead, between his comments. Defiant, but still smiling. "If you wanted my attention all you had to do was ask," she said, placing down her cup on the raised bar, the separation between customers and employees. A few baristas watched. She did love an audience.

[tricrsed]

blue eyes suddenly went blank, the hint of what was sure to be one GIANT migraine looming in the back of his mind, as he steadied himself using one of the empty chairs at the brunette’s table. “ surely you can’t be that STARVED for company. “ he declared with a tilt of his chin. his stance was defiant, despite his immediate notice of an attractive woman ( what? he may be technically dead, but that hadn’t made his eyes stop working ) “ i mean i’m not one to yuck anyone’s yum, princess but i hardly think you’ll find the thrill that’s clearly missing from your life round these parts. “

it was a dingy coffee shop, that often smelled of spilled oat milk and cinnamon lattes and while he’d come to find such a detail charming, most would deem his voluntary mundane existence; incredibly boring. “ besides, i really don’t think you want to start something you’ve got no hell of a chance of finishing. “ and with the tease came a smile, because if she could make his life difficult, then he’d return the favor regardless of how far ahead or behind he, seemed to be.

“ if you wanna destress that badly… try a spa, isn’t that like your mothership anyway? “ he’d added with a roll of his shoulders as his arms came to fold across his chest. finding that there were only so many words he could use to creatively say ‘ get out ‘ without actually uttering such a phrase. “ and between us, it’s the free table i’m after… “ patrons did need a place to sit after all. “ so about that drink you’re complaining over… either take it, throw it out and order a new one ⸺ or walk on over to the 50th coffee shop on across the street, your choice… sweetheart. “

[tricrsed]

being back in town, felt like having been dropped in the middle of a film who’s plot had progressed farther than it’s halfway point. the lack of ANSWERS he was currently struggling with were probably his fault, having made it a point to steer clear of most supernatural activity, ironic given what he was and while the offer to join another pack had been made, more than ONCE the man had rejected it out of principle. not so much from a place of hate, well mostly the idea of having any sort of tie to anyone who connected him to the mikealson’s had not been in his plans. he’d learned to see the youngest in the family through a different lens, but it had taken years ⸺ and they were children, friends with the closest thing he’d ever have to a daughter and that changed things.

and it had been exactly those three absences that had him worried, the lack of loud laughter, bickering and even spells gone wrong, had made the prominent sinking feeling in his stomach difficult to ignore, so he’d asked around, or tried and failed ⸺ he’d gotten names, plus fear filled warnings about how coming back had been a MISTAKE on his part. the hunters, were now the ‘ hunted ‘ or that had been the word. it was that exact knowledge that made him more determined to find her, and so he’d started frequenting places he knew kaya would. going as far as to visit his old best friend’s home, and the sight of an abandoned home, made his heart clench. the pain that had been there a year ago clawing it’s way to the surface, once again.

but he’d pushed through, with as clear s mind as he could muster, his line of sight focused on a silent cellphone, one that he hoped would ring, but it was another SOUND that was heard instead. dashing around a sharp corner the hybrid came to a dead HALT as his like of sight aligned with something he’d never wanted to see. the scene sent a chill down his spine, the almost limp body in the girl’s grasp,and the sounds of blood draining all sounded blood curdling. had that always been the case? maybe he’d forgotten it, as he settled his own appetite with stolen hospital blood bags, he couldn’t remember the LAST time he’d had a drink straight from the vein. a testament to his self control perhaps, but it was exactly that particular talent that evaded him now.

dashing forward, he reached for the limp, body in an attempt to separate it, from her and get her attention. “ that’s enough kid..” he semi whispered, feeling a sting in the corner of his eyes, and the familiar sensation of his heart breaking all over again. he’d really missed more than ONE chapter, during his time away, and the realization that leaving had undoubtedly been a mistake, now clearer than ever. damn, he really should have pulled his head out of his own ass, much much sooner. he pulled back, saddened eyes watching the little girl he’d once held in his arms when she was a baby, having been the THIRD person, after her own parents to hold her, the sight of all that innocence they’d so fought to persevere long gone, making him understand that taking her with him should have factored into his plans. “ fuck… “ he whispered under his breath as he did his best to find her eyes, a gentle hand coming up to reach for the young tribrid’s chin. “ oh sweetheart…” he cooed gently before dropping his hold on her and taking a small step back. “ i’m sorry. “

location ....random alley in the french quarter , featuring .... kaya lockwood !! ( @hellonexrth )

[felicitykings]

the originals appreciation event: favourite relationships → klaus + hope mikaelson

I love you. More than all the days and nights. Deeper than the oceans and the skies.

[hellonexrth]

feat. katherine & oliver !!! location: coffee shop @tricrsed

It wasn't exactly guilt that curled around her heart as she stood in line for something warm and caffeinated to bring her back to life. It wasn't guilt. It couldn't be. Katherine Pierce did not feel guilt. Unfortunately, whatever it was she did feel felt awfully close. It had been entirely too easy to coerce the tribrid girl over to Grant's side, even easier to get that dagger into the Mikaelson's chest. There was something about the tribrid demon, however, that tugged at the vampire's fragile, half-torn heartstrings. A girl forced to change for those who needed something from her. A girl without an out. A girl, who, like herself, found it easy to drop her feelings out the window, to leave behind those she'd once claimed to love.

"Excuse me," the barista's voice snapped her out of it, tugged her brain away from the demon girl and the Mikaelson (an entirely separate issue) and everything else she couldn't stand to think of. "Triple mocha," she said. No hello. No please. Certainly no thank you. The tap of her phone—fucking blasted technology—and she disappeared to the other side of the room, waiting with arms crossed.

Maybe she was already in a bad mood. Maybe she needed someone to turn her anger onto. Maybe Grant wasn't nearly as good in bed as he thought he was, and maybe he certainly wasn't a very good punching bag. This overworked, tired, and likely underpaid barista, however—an easy target. If she waited around after their shift, maybe she could even have a taste. Instead, she lifted the cup to her lips, tasted it, and slammed it back on the counter. "This is wrong," she said. It wasn't. "Again."

[tricrsed]

he’d been away for a year, having forcibly decided to close his shop down, without much of an explanation offered. perhaps it had been grief, for his BEST FRIEND, ir maybe it had simply been that he hadn’t been sure of who to be for his goddaughter, it had been so SIMPLE, when he’d only been looked at as the ‘ reluctant grumpy unocle ‘ that complained a little too often about having to supply kaya’s and her friends’ problematic coffee addiction. being the second person someone looked for, that be understood, he was comfortable with it, even came to enjoy it despite not ever expressing such. but what good could he possibly be when his own HEART felt like it stopped working in the first place?

so he’d packed everything up, from one day to the next ⸺ gone off to find more ‘ coffee related ‘ remedies that were meant to change things as everyone knew it. sure that had a nice ring to it. he’d made it home without too much of a hustle, but it had taken a few days to get his business back up and running. the familiar hustle and bustle of a busy store, the chatter from customers around him, settled part of his anxiety almost immediately but it was in the crowd that he searched for ONE face in particular. his forehead creasing every time, he was told she wasn’t there. that had to be his fault no? still he’d kept that one table empty, longing to see her friends too, any sign that she was around, that he’d be able to make up for what he wanted to call lost time.

so he’d made himself busy, wiping tables, picking up empty coffee cups and making sure that the recycling bins were appropriately used. same old same old ⸺ as one would call it, at least would have been had he not spotted, the brunette across the room. his hearing instantly picking up on the ‘ conversation‘ his new barista seemed to be attempting to have with her. swiftly he approached, a dirty rag tossed over one shoulder, as he made his presence known. “ you really do need to find another hobby lady. “ he declared with a defiant tilt of his chin as he looked her over. “ berating teenagers, lost it’s charm the minute you hit adulthood. “ he shook his head and motioned back to the busy counter, wordlessly letting the flustered girl know that he’d take care of it. “ so hey, why not try your petulance on someone a little more experienced? “ he offered, hands folded across his chest as he looked her over. “ less of course, you’re scared. “

[hellonexrth]

Laurie clapped his hands together at her agreement. If she weren't the key to solving this, he'd have removed her head from her body at those words. Their weapons expert. What a fucking joke. The whole lot of them, completely and utterly insane in whatever it was they were trying to accomplish. He didn't know. Didn't care. Didn't need much of an excuse to start ripping people to shreds anyway. If he ever left her side, it would inevitably be to sink his fangs into the neck of some unsuspecting victim.

He grabbed her wrist again, yanking her close to him so he could look into her eyes. "I don't give a damn about your family," he hissed. He looked down at Hope and then back at Rory. This girl who held the key to everything, this girl who could and would fix his problem. Hope's problem. "You'll help her because it's your fucking problem. You did this to her," he said, and pushed her closer to Hope's body. "Do you see her? You did this to her. To me."

Standing behind the rich girl, so frail in his shadow, he pushed her hair away from her ear, pulling it backward so he could lean down and whisper. "They'll be safe," he said. "I'm not a monster—not like your family. I don't kill for fun," he said. At least not anymore. Because of her, he had some semblance of control. "Unless you fail, and then, well... maybe I should take notes from your ancestors. They've killed those I love, it seems only right to return the favor."

[tricrsed]

she’d run out of words to say, nor did she have many to share in the FIRST place ⸺ she wasn’t supposed to see the aftermath of her actions, life would have continued to be simple if she didn’t have a visible trail of ‘ disaster ‘ following closely behind every step she took. god did she want to run, find her bed and hide under her covers like she did as a child and THUNDERSTORMS scared her. boy did she miss those days, back then everything had felt so simple, one hug from her mother and a kiss goodnight from her father after a long day at work could fix anything. she’d had a home then and now she wasn’t sure if she’d had one since.

still she nodded, her teary gaze glued on the petite’ tribrid ‘ who currently had no sense of what was going on around her, and then it sunk in ⸺ she wanted that. to not KNOW, maybe that was the answer, the start of things improving at the very least she wouldn’t run the risk of hurting anyone she cared about again. “ i’m… “ she decided against it, the apology she so wanted to give, felt hollow and given the vampire’s already volatile state, provoking him wouldn’t take much. she slowly rose from the chair she’d previously been to terrified to even flinch on. her line of sight fell to the ground before speaking again. “ we’ll need a witch. “ she mumbled with a heavy sigh. whatever else was needed would be something she made up ⸺ if only to buy time, because the possibility of this being permanent was still lingering in the back of her mind.

but those were her parting words, as she moved to leave, the brunette would have taken off running if she didn’t feel like the ground was shaking underneath her feet. a part of her didn’t even think she’d make it home, she felt DRAINED and what little strength she could muster felt spent with every small step she took, but she’d made it outside and that’s when she felt her stomach flip. the small dinner she’d managed to make herself eat making it’s way up, as she bent over and threw it up, the tears she’s been pushing down finally streaming down her cheeks as she covered her mouth with her hands. pressing tight, she screamed into them, the taste of stale food lingering, as she did her best to ‘ self soothe ‘ to find some sense of ‘ self comfort ‘ even when it felt so out of her grasp. she wanted her friends, no she needed her friends, she’d even accept compassion from a STRANGER, as it seemed that finally that pride she so relished extinguished, aurora hayes has finally been knocked down a couple of hundred pegs, and she’d semi given up on herself at least, but this was about her PEOPLE, old and new, and it was then that her boyfriend’s face came reeling into her thoughts, jesse was so untouched by this dark circus that was her life and it was in this moment that she realized that she’d do anything to keep it as such, even pulling away. but that it seemed was a problem for tomorrow as she finally made it home, her knees were the first thing to hit the couch.. as she shut her eyes in hopes of drifting off.

END.

[hellonexrth]

ft. maisie & zander location: the collective compound @tricrsed

It took a long time for her to get up off the ground. Her fingers pressed hard against the asphalt, reveling in the pain of the sharp-edged rocks cutting into the palms of her hands. She didn't want to leave. Didn't want to stand up and be a person again. Wasn't sure if she knew how.

Eventually, she did. Her phone buzzed. She knew who the messages were from without reaching for it. Grant, checking on her progress, checking to see if she'd completed his task. He must have known that she did. Must have had some spy watching the house, someone ready to jump in if she proved strong enough to fight the compulsion. She wasn't strong enough. But everyone already knew that.

He summoned her back to the compound, and so she went. Thinking, on the long walk over, that maybe she would yell and scream, push him hard against the chest and quit. But she knew, and Grant knew, that she wouldn't. And maybe that was why he manipulated her. Simply because it was easy.

When she arrived, still covered in blood—no one looked at her any differently. Showing up drenched in someone else's blood was kind of commonplace with those people. Her people. Because she was, inevitably, one of them. Especially now. After what she'd done. The lingering glances went right under her skin. What did they think when they saw her? Finally. She's done it? Or did they look on with disbelief or even horror? It sent her mind spiraling, and she dipped into the bathroom, slamming the door hard behind her before she could confront anyone else's lingering eye contact.

She did, however, force herself to confront the person looking back at her in the mirror. It was a girl she did not recognize. Creases formed between her eyebrows, the downturned corners of her lips. She covered her mouth with her hands and screamed into it, stifling the sound but not quite enough for it to be completely silent.

She did not bother to wash the blood off her hands, off her face. To wash it off meant to forget about it, and she needed to linger in this pain a little longer. Let Grant see her like this. Let Zander see her like this. Let them all see what they'd turned her into. She left the bathroom and caught a flash of blond hair turning a corner. As much as she wanted to hate him, wanted to yell at him—she could only run toward him. She needed him just as much as she wished she didn't.

And she felt like a child again, running toward him for comfort. This is how it would always be. Her chasing him, her needing him, her needing someone, something to tell her which way was up and which way was down. She would never be able to do it on her own.

All of her remaining effort went into catching up to him, and once she did, she just locked onto his stride and walked forward with him, not speaking for a moment. Because what was there to say? What was there to say that she hadn't said already? She'd already cried in his arms, let him help wash off the blood. This blood, this pain—it wouldn't come off so easily. Maybe not at all. So she just walked with him, looked up at him out of the corner of her eye and felt that all-encompassing hatred start up in her chest again. "Look at me, Xander," she said finally, stopping in the center of the hall in front of him, arms thrown out to her sides. Look at me, she thought. Look at what you made me.

[tricrsed]

zander reed, had always been an imperfect person, resentful, impulsive and possibly a little if not a lot selfish. life around him had always revolved on his whims, and his natural ability to lead often left him clueless to the thoughts of those around him. however, his imperfections were often balanced by a FIERCE heart, despite his once upon a time relentless need for revenge, the young hunter had always found that when the moment truly called for it, he’d hesitate ⸺ the blood of the many supernatural creatures he’d learned to ‘ hate ‘ was not something he’d ever wanted to carry.

the young man hadn’t meant for grief to uproot not only his entire life, but his little sister’s as well, but the loss of the only family he had ever known, BROKE something deep inside of him, that despite his years of chasing hadn’t even begun to heal, at least until recently. his heart piecing itself back together had nothing to do with the poor excuse of a ‘ family ‘ the collective offered, no it had been the original source of his pain, that pushed him through a door he didn’t know he could walk through. LOVE, the age old solution with a name, specifically meant for him, diana and the pull he felt towards her, couldn’t possibly be explained as anything else. which meant it was time to pull out, naive of him to think that he actually could.

and maybe that was his WEAKNESS, the idea of thinking he’d found a father figure in a man who taught him to hate, main, destroy and kill. thinking that he would let him go, let them go, he truly had underestimated what they’d said when he practically pushed his sister and himself to sign their lives away. he belonged to them, that much was made obvious the NIGHT he found himself in one of their darkest rooms, with. a searing headache, that made it impossible for him to remember where he was or where he’d been. all those small moments where he’d forgotten his favorite color, his coffee order, even his grandparents names and faces ⸺ the slowness which he lost everything that made him who he was, had been the FINAL price to pay.

it didn’t take long that night, despite his extreme panic as he clung to the hunter who’d mentored him in a desperate attempt to feel SAFE, loved and protected ( oh how wrong he’d been ) everything faded and in his ‘ death ‘ rose somebody nobody would be able to recognize, the perfect canvas to be made of what grant wanted. the PERFECT weapon, their greatest creation or monstrosity depending on who’d you ask. and he was now free to roam the halls, with nothing on his mind but the objective he’d been created for ‘ kill ‘ and this time it would be all of them.

so he’d rounded a corner, looking to find his new weapons, when the sound of footsteps that were once so familiar to him, filled his ears. except now they meant NOTHING, they were absolutely foreign. so he kept moving, empty eyes looking straight ahead and away from the source of a sweet but broken voice that called out to him. it felt distant, disconnected and so very outside of him, that he almost pushed her out of the way, but then he heard his name or well a name to him, a random one but that brought him to a halt. “ who? “ he questioned as he locked eyes with a bruised and blood covered blonde “ the hell is xander? “