Molly:27

I'm not a writer or anything fun like that. I just stalk people's blogs and repost things I like.

[lilaccatholic]

I got this while scrolling on instagram to try to convince me to join threads and I—

We did it. We finally saved her.

[reinanova]

[the-wild-built]

Just found and watched both of their final show bows because it turns out it actually happened at Reeve Carney's last show (Eva left first), but regardless I'm crying about Hadestown again

[disregardcanon]

If you want to watch just what was described in the post, start at 20:00 and watch the end

[pastelwitchling]

Hi

Thanks for all the amazing Malex stories.

Could you possibly write about Michael and Kyle being worried about that Alex is taking too many painkillers? Thanks.

This prompt actually inspired me to do a two-parter, so that's what I'm going to do 🫣

Part 1/2

***

“I don’t how comfortable I am with this,” Michael said, arms crossed and shoulder leaning against the archway into the kitchen.

Alex had his back to him as he fixed up the plate of snacks for movie night, but Michael could hear the amusement in his voice when he said, “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

His shoulders fell. “I’m serious, Alex. This is our movie night, why does Valenti have to be here?”

“Uh, technically,” Kyle called from the living room, “Alex and I were doing movie night way before you guys got together, so you’re the only trespasser here, Guerin!”

Michael pointed into the hallway, eyes narrowed at Alex. “In my own home.”

“Oh, brother,” Alex chuckled, glancing at Michael over his shoulder. “Baby, why don’t you go pick the movie, okay? It could be whatever you want.”

“You’re just trying to get rid of me, aren’t you?”

“Never,” he said easily with a shrug. “You’re my heart and soul. My lifeline.”

“Okay –”

“My never-ending fairytale.”

“I get it,” he said, trying not to smile.

“My hunky alien hubby.”

“I’m going!”

Alex was still calling adoring nicknames after him as he entered the living room, shaking his head and fighting his own laugh, when he saw Kyle sorting through the DVDs, and he sighed, all joy in the world gone.

“Alex said I can pick what movie we’re watching.”

“Oh?” Kyle said without turning around. “Is that what it took to get you to stop moping?”

Michael mimicked him with a much whinier voice, and Kyle slowly looked over his shoulder at him. “Real mature there, cowboy.”

Michael mimicked that too, and snatched the DVDs out of Kyle’s hands.

“We should watch A New Hope,” Kyle said.

“Should we?” Michael said innocently. “Too bad I’m picking then, huh?”

Kyle shook his head, eyes shut like he was making a gallant effort not to throttle his best friend’s husband. “You know Alex’s leg has been killing him lately, and Star Wars makes him feel better.”

Michael softened. He hated when Kyle was right, he hated when Alex was in pain, but most of all, he hated that Kyle had brought it up at all when it should’ve been Michael who’d suggested it first.

“I was going to choose Star Wars anyway,” he sulked, and Kyle looked like he was counting to ten. Now that he was thinking of Alex’s leg though . . . “I’m going to give him his medication. It’s around that time anyway.”

“I can grab ‘em,” Kyle offered, “you get the movie started. Where are his painkillers?”

“How ‘bout I get my husband his painkillers, and you start the movie?”

“Just tell me where they are, Michael!”

Michael took his time setting the DVD player down and waltzing over to the little drawer beside the couch. He heard Kyle stand behind him, heard him sigh as he stretched, and then –

“What the hell are those?”

Michael raised a brow. “Alex’s painkillers?”

Kyle nudged Michael aside, picking up orange bottle after orange bottle. To Michael’s surprise, he was frowning.

“Why are there so many?”

Michael’s brows furrowed. “Because he’s in pain a lot?” When Kyle didn’t respond, instead checking every bottle and its expiration date, he faltered. “What’s wrong?”

“There shouldn’t be this many,” he murmured. “He doesn’t need more than one or two, I’m counting six here.” He shook his head, and Michael had the feeling he was talking to himself when he said, “What the hell’s he doing, taking all of these?”

“C’mon,” Michael chuckled, uncertain. “They’re probably all for different things –”

“Michael, I’m a doctor,” he reminded him. The fact that he was using Michael’s first name was a little more than concerning. “These are all the same prescriptions. He shouldn’t have this many.” He bit his lower lip as he examined the bottles again. “And we have a bigger problem.”

“Which is what?” Michael scanned the bottles again, trying to see what Kyle was seeing.

“They’ve all been opened,” he said grimly. “So –”

“He’s been taking all this medication at once,” Michael finished, and slumped to the ground. He picked up a bottle, examining it. He’d handed Alex these pills himself, and often. He’d never given the number of bottles a second thought. “What the hell?”

“Okay,” a voice sounded inside, and Alex came walking out with a tray of popcorn, pretzels, sandwiches, and chips. “What’re we watching?”

Michael had half a mind to hold up Alex’s bottle and demand an explanation, but Kyle was already shutting the drawer and pushing himself to his feet.

“A New Hope,” he cleared his throat, and smiled. “Your husband knows you better than I thought he did.”

“Really?” Alex smiled, excited. “Not gonna lie, I was hoping for Star Wars. Thanks, baby,” he kissed the top of Michael’s head. “I’m so lucky to have you.” He faltered at the look on Michael’s face. “Michael? What’s wrong?”

Michael opened his mouth to tell Alex what was wrong, to beg to know why he hadn’t told him how many pills he’d been taking, to look him up and down for injuries and make sure that medication hadn’t been leaving a permanent mark on him. But Kyle was standing right behind Alex, subtly shaking his head, and damn it all, he knew more about this stuff than Michael did. Something was clearly wrong with Alex, how could he not listen?

“I get to sit between you guys,” he finally said. “You’re not cuddling up to anybody else.”

Alex chuckled, relieved. “You got it, baby, I’ll cuddle up to you all night. Let me just get the drinks, and we can start the movie.”

He set the tray down on the coffee table and went inside. The second he was out of earshot, Michael demanded, “Why’d you stop me?”

“I’ve seen this before, okay?” Kyle said in a rushed whisper. “The second you confront someone about abusing their medication, they get defensive and start to lie. We have to know what’s really going on here, Guerin, we can’t risk Alex shutting us out, not on this.”

Michael swallowed, starting to get nervous. If Alex had a problem with pills, and he hadn’t noticed this whole time . . . if Alex had been slowly killing himself, and Michael had willingly put the damn things in his hands . . .

“Hey, hey,” Kyle put a hand on his shoulder, eyes intent. “It’s going to be okay, okay? Alex is the strongest person I know, I’m sure there’s more to this story. But whatever it is, we have to approach it carefully. For Alex.”

“For Alex,” he repeated, hands balled into fists and trying not to panic. Not until Alex was back in the living room with three bottles of beer, not until he was in Michael’s line of sight and smiling and seemingly fine did the knot of tension in Michael’s stomach loosen. He sat on the couch while Kyle took the armchair, and held out his arms.

“C’mere,” he said, and Alex complied easily, taking off his prosthetic and wincing despite himself.

Michael shouldn’t have said it, but he wanted to see how Alex would react. “You need your pills?”

Alex looked like he was going to say he did, but he glanced at Kyle and plastered a smile and shook his head. “N-No, I’m okay, I already had them,” and he curled up on Michael’s chest, hugging his waist tightly.

Michael looked to Kyle who met his eyes. See? Alex had known Kyle would spot the number of bottles and start asking questions, and he’d decided to hide the truth. Michael’s arms tightened around him.

“Baby?” Alex looked up with concern, his breath warm against Michael’s collarbone. “You’re shaking.”

Michael forced a chuckle. “I’m a little cold.”

“Oh, well just tell me,” Alex smiled and unfolded the blanket they usually kept on the couch, covering them both. He tucked Michael in and snuggled in close to keep him as warm as possible. “Is that better?”

He nodded, kissing Alex’s brow. “Better. Thanks, baby.”

Satisfied, Alex settled and went back to watching the movie. As the opening credits rolled in, Michael shared another look with Kyle. Kyle seemed to think it was a good thing that Alex wasn’t looking for excuses to take more pills, and made a calming gesture with his hand to Michael.

Relax, he seemed to tell him. He has us here, I’m not going anywhere, just relax.

Michael swallowed and nodded, settling into the couch, his grip on Alex tight. He would relax for now, he would take it calmly, he would stay strong because Alex needed him. For Alex, he thought over and over, whenever dark thoughts threatened to take him away. For Alex.

***

Happy Malex Monday ❤️

[pastelwitchling]

Bridgerton season 3 was a huge letdown. I will never write a detailed post about it because I honestly just don't know where to start, but they ruined it. They missed the point on several occasions, the pacing was atrocious, characters were ruined beyond repair, and the way "the most graphic season yet" was the most graphic for every character EXCEPT the main female lead speaks volumes about the writers' true opinions of Penelope.

I'm not even commenting here specifically on how graphic it is, because Kate and Anthony didn't have many graphic moments either, yet their season was undeniably the best so far. But it's the fact that this season was advertised time and time again as the sexiest one, when they KNEW we were excited for Polin's season, feels so freaking manipulative, and I would never blame the cast because I'm sure they were told to market it that way.

Yeah. This season was a disappointment. The reason I'd started watching the show at all was for Penelope and Colin, their book was the only one I read, and they had more chemistry and care when they were a freaking afterthought than they did as the main couple. Let's not pretend we don't know why.

And no, I will not be tagging this as "anti" because I'm not lamenting the show or the characters or the relationships, I'm simply commenting on what the writers thought would sell, and what they clearly thought wouldn't.

[pastelwitchling]

Hello, I love your stories so much! Would you be willing to do one where Michael realizes that when Alex called the incident of 2x06 hell he actually meant it and that he really didn't enjoy it? Thank you!

Disclaimer: very anti-M*ria DeL*ca

tw: mentions of r*pe

***

Michael started to notice it about two weeks after coming back from their honeymoon.

Alex had come to meet him at the junkyard, and Michael had made a teasing remark about sneaking into the airstream for some of their old fun. He’d meant it as a joke, but Alex had flinched and taken a step back, as though afraid Michael would drag him inside. Michael had been about to ask if he was okay, but just then Dallas had come back and asked if they wanted to step inside for a cup of tea and some lunch. Michael had waited to see that same reaction, but Alex only smiled, relieved, and happily accepted.

Michael had thought he’d just imagined that scared look on his face, but then it came again the next night when he’d suggested getting a drink at the Wild Pony. Alex had nodded and agreed to go, everything seemed fine, until Michael had mentioned that Maria had these cocktail shrimps she wanted them to try.

Alex froze. “Er, Maria’s going to be there tonight?”

“Yeah?” Michael said while adjusting his collar, “So, do you want to grab dinner first, or –”

“Actually,” he cut him off, “I’ve been having a lot of stomach pain lately, so I – I think I should pass on the drinks tonight.”

Michael frowned, coming up to him and putting a hand on his belly, his other hand on his brow. “What, you’re sick?”

“No no,” he shook his head, covering Michael’s hand on his stomach with his own, “nothing like that, it must just be an acid thing. Y-You should go, have fun.”

Michael’s shoulders fell. “Well, I don’t want to go if you’re not going. Hey, why don’t we just stay in and I can make us some dinner instead? Something good for your stomach.”

He didn’t realize how nervous Alex’s smile looked until it softened. He’d been worried that Alex was uneasy about Michael being near Maria, but they’d talked about that, hadn’t they? Michael knew how much Alex hated it when he and Maria were alone or too close, and after everything that had happened, he wanted to ease his fears. But Alex had even told Michael to go by himself, so what else was going on?

Finally, that Sunday morning, Michael knew he had to say something. He and Alex liked to have breakfast together on Sundays since it was the one day they were both free from work, and they usually talked about anything and everything during that time. Even though it was their laziest morning, meant to establish some peace after a busy week, nothing was ever off-limits. Mostly because each of them knew they had the other to lean against and take comfort from if anything got too heavy.

That was why, when Michael asked, “What’s the worst thing that’s ever happened to you?” he did it with a bite of pancake in his mouth.

Alex smiled, amused, and wiped a dollop of maple syrup from the corner of his lips before bringing it up to his mouth to suck clean. “You already know,” he said vaguely. “What about you?”

Michael took a second to focus after that display, and cleared his throat. “Caulfield,” he said without hesitation. Then, to keep himself from thinking about it too much, he pointed his fork at Alex, eyes narrowed. “And that’s not fair, you have to actually tell me yours.”

“I did tell you mine,” he chuckled, though it sounded quieter to Michael’s ears. “I told you when it happened.”

Michael’s brows furrowed, thinking hard, even as Alex was clearly trying to move past the conversation.

“More whipped cream?” he offered.

“When was this?” Michael asked, undeterred. “You told me when it happened, was I there?”

“Yeah, you were there,” Alex said with a hint of his old smile, but the way his voice turned quieter and quieter was starting to get alarming. Michael sat up straighter, waiting expectantly. Alex sighed. “That night in the trailer? With . . . Maria? I told you it was a circle of hell.”

“Yeah, but,” Michael rolled his eyes, “seriously though.”

Alex raised a brow, the amusement in his eyes dimmed. “Seriously though.”

“No,” he smiled, even as his brows furrowed, “no, that . . . you were joking. You were . . . you were joking then, right? I mean, you wanted to be there –”

“Well, maybe I didn’t feel like I was allowed to not be there,” he said with an edge that Michael had not expected, but which had his heart plummeting into his stomach anyway.

“You . . . what?”

“Nothing,” he said, already grabbing plates and turning away. “Nothing, I’m sorry.”

“Hey, hey,” Michael grabbed him around his waist, hauling him back in. “Don’t apologize to me. There’s nothing off-limits, remember? I just . . .” his mind was racing and dread was coiling in his stomach and he felt sick. “Alex . . . did you stay that night . . . because you thought you had to?”

Alex looked away, exhaustion etched into his features. This had clearly been weighing on him for years. Years, Michael thought with horror.

“I’d just been stabbed,” he said. “She was my only ride there. You were already looking for any excuse to avoid me. I . . . I trusted her. I thought she would take me back, and then I thought you would just . . .” he shook his head, blushing, “I don’t know, protect me from it or something, but none of that happened and I was just stuck there. And I thought that if I said no anyway, that if I left and tried to walk back, you would never look at me again.” His smile was small, but there was nothing humorous or amused about it. “Hell was every time she touched me. Every time she touched you. Hell was waking up the next morning and trying to convince myself that my best friend hadn’t raped me.”

His smile falling, he stepped out of Michael’s hold and returned to the sink. Michael sat there, in shock, staring at Alex’s back as he continued to wash dishes like he hadn’t just told Michael that he’d felt sexually assaulted, that Michael had been part of it, that Michael had allowed it.

He remembered that night well, thought of it often, of all the things he would’ve done differently. But he always imagined taking Alex in his arms, confessing that he was all he wanted, that Maria should leave because the only person he wanted to see touching Alex was him. He remembered his jealousy, his desire to possess Alex, his need to make him feel as good as possible so that his eyes never wandered to anyone else, even after he left. He’d wanted to make him feel good enough that Alex wouldn’t mind waiting for him.

He hadn’t given a second to think how Alex had felt having no other option. Now that he thought through that night, half of it filled with regret that there had been anyone else with them, he couldn’t remember one instance when he’d offered to drive Alex home, to take him to the hospital, even to loan him his phone to call anyone else.

Alex had been trapped there, and Michael had helped attack him.

A tear rolled down his cheek, and when Alex turned back around to grab the empty cups, he stilled. Quickly setting the glass down, he came back to Michael and cupped his jaw. “Why are you crying?” he breathed. “Michael, it’s okay, it was years ago, I – I’ve forgiven her –”

“Did she know?” he demanded. “Did she know what I meant to you? How it felt when a woman touched you?”

Alex swallowed. “Guerin –”

“Did she know?”

His husband glanced down, and Michael got his answer. “We’d talked about it earlier that day. She said she used to have a crush on me –”

“So she forced herself on you, and used me to keep you there,” Michael breathed, his hands vibrating. Then he realized that it was the entire house that was vibrating.

“Michael,” Alex wrapped his arms around his shoulders to steady himself, looking around, “you’re making the ground shake, stop it, you’ll bring the whole house down!”

“I’m gonna bring her damn bar down,” Michael growled. “I’m gonna make her sorry she ever put a finger on you, and then I’m gonna spend the rest of my life begging for your forgiveness –”

“Stop stop stop,” Alex hugged him tight, slipping a hand into his hair and tugging hard enough on the roots to yank Michael out of his angry haze. “Please calm down. For me, Michael, for me.”

It was Alex’s plea, his voice, his hands on Michael, his heart hammering against Michael’s chest. Distantly, he felt the earth still beneath him, but he couldn’t keep himself from shaking. He hugged Alex’s waist slowly, staring through the window over his shoulder, unseeing.

“You’re never going to talk to her again,” he said in a hollow, low voice.

Alex hesitated. “Michael –”

“She talked about that night afterwards like it was funny,” he whispered. “She doesn’t even think she did anything wrong. You’re never talking to that bitch again.”

Alex said nothing a moment, but he seemed to sense that Michael wasn’t going to allow any other response because he just nodded.

“She’s never going to touch you,” he went on. “She’s never going to say your name, and if she even looks in your direction, I’ll destroy the Wild Pony and set it on fire.”

“Michael,” he gasped.

“She raped you, Alex, and she knew she was doing it!” he snapped, squeezing Alex to him. “You’re never going near her again. Tell me you’re never going near her again.”

Alex sighed against his shoulder. “Okay, my pretty cowboy. I’ll do whatever you want. Just please calm down.”

Michael didn’t calm down. He couldn’t, not until he was holding Alex in a bruising grip, undoubtedly making it impossible for him to breathe, but he couldn’t get himself to let go. The way Alex had looked at him that night, it came back to him now. Not just with longing and yearning, mirroring his own feelings, but something else that he was now recognizing as fear. He’d been waiting for Michael to save him.

Michael swore then he would never fail Alex again.

“I’m so sorry, Alex.”

Alex melted against him. He’d had years to get over this, but Michael could feel the way the last of his resentment about it dissipated the longer he held him. He wished more than anything that he’d really listened to Alex then, when he’d told Michael how he felt and expected the man he loved to care. So much could’ve been different.

“Thanks, Michael,” Alex murmured against his neck, “but you’re all mine now. I don’t care about anything else.”

***

This was very cathartic for me. Villains are villains, folks, whether they're played by women or not :)

Happy Malex Monday ❤️

[areawest]

ok I’m trying to see something here

Without looking it up, what’s the capital city of Australia? (Australians DO NOT answer this, I’m testing something)

Sydney

Melbourne

Canberra

Brisbane

Perth

Adelaide

Darwin

Hobart

Wollongong

Newcastle

Voting ended onApr 17, 2024

[areawest]

bestie they’re all in australia

[trippingonmolly]

I might not know a lot, but I know this for some reason 🤔 😅

[promptsforyourwhumpfic]

*These prompts are purely self-indulgent and can be canon/non-canon compliant as well as containing potential spoilers: continue at your own risk. Also, these prompts range from fix-its to full on AU - they’re not to be taken seriously. Feel free to submit your own via my ask box with the character name included. Lastly, everyone is welcome to use any of these but remember to credit @promptsforyourwhumpfic​,*

CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE OLD GUARD 2020

Nile and Booker secretly  keep in touch via text during Bookers exile. One day he stops responding altogether.

Booker tries to get himself together during exile in order to prove to someone that he’s worth it. He goes through alcohol withdrawal and even manages a healthy sleep and eating schedule. However something happens that sets his recovery back and that’s when the other immortals see him.

^ alternatively, they see the hard work he’s put in for them, and welcome him home in order to help him.

Despite being exiled, he still looks for a way to die - even going as far as getting himself kidnapped and tortured. How do the others react when they find out?

Booker goes off the grid for months and the CIA eventually tell the others… they race to find him fearing he’s dead (they forgave him years ago.)

In exile Booker stops looking after himself.

Booker believes himself to be alone. Nicky has Joe and Andy has Quynh and Nile. Who does he have? The notion of being forgettable makes him do some pretty reckless things.

He gets drugged with something that slows his healing exponentially - the team look after him as he heals.

Joe and Nicky go to find booker, realising their initial rage was an overreaction to Bookers own emotions.

During his exile he prepares a safe house for the team, hoping that they will come back early. He waits and waits and waits…

[pastelwitchling]

Thoughts on Percy Jackson and the Olympians, episode 3:

(Disclaimer: I loved everything about the episode except, mostly, Annabeth herself. So if you're going to get offended because someone doesn't like the same fictional character, because that's what Annabeth is, and if you're going to try to turn the argument into something else, please don't bother reading.)

So. This is a bit difficult because I feel very conflicted/wary about what's to come, mostly because Disney has not been historically good at girl power or badass female characters. Let me just say this; while I used to love the CW's Flash, it quickly went downhill when the Flash took a backseat to his own show for the CW's half-assed "girl power" message. I fear the same might happen here.

Let me be very clear about something. It makes sense why Annabeth would seem like the more formidable opponent at the start of the story. She was more or less that in the first two books because, not only is she the daughter of the goddess of wisdom and battle strategy, but she'd spent a lot of her life training for quests, studying about the gods, and she just knew more than Percy did. I didn't like Movie Annabeth for most of the first film either for the same reasons I'm about to list below, please keep that in mind.

My issue will come here; if Percy starts to take a backseat to his own show just so we can highlight how great and awesome Annabeth is and girl power rules and whatever, I'm going to be very, very miffed. Again, it's fair for me to worry about this now because Disney is all tell and no show when it comes to women. Just like they did with Marvel, just like they did with the most recent Disney Princesses, it's more important to them to show how woke they are instead of caring about the actual stories they tell. And I'm Middle-Eastern, so don't even try any of that self-righteous white woman racial crap with me, okay?

I know I'm saying what a lot of people probably think but aren't allowed to say, but -- call me crazy -- I want the show based on the Percy Jackson books to focus on Percy Jackson. To be honest, I've never loved ANY of Rick Riordan's female characters, save for Ana from Daughter of the Deep, as well as the other female characters in that book, but that's not even in the Percy Jackson world, so it doesn't count. And I ONLY say this now because, again, Disney has SUCKED with their female characters. It's all pandering and nothing but pandering.

The first book especially always frustrated me with the way Grover never really seemed to defend Percy against Annabeth's snobby behavior, so this aligns fine. I'm not really saying anything against the character either (not yet), as this frustration with how unfair and snobby she is towards Percy very much aligns with the book. I guess I was just hoping that since I always hated Annabeth in the books and she was actually likable in the second episode, that maybe the show would be better about her portrayal. I was actually thinking how cute they would be as a couple in the second episode, but now? I'm kind of back where I was with the books, I don't see why she deserves him, not yet.

Much like Grover was in the episode, I was just looking at a lot of her behavior as Really? The guy had NO reason to invite you on this quest, you NEEDED him to pick you, and you still act like he's the idiot for caring about his mom and not knowing anything about this world that he's just found out about, and it's so freaking entitled, I --

I've been part of the Roswell, New Mexico fandom since season 1, and I know just how ridiculous people get when you DARE criticize a character who HAPPENS to be played by a black actress. I don't give a crap. I'm critiquing the CHARACTER here, and I'm disappointed, not with her, but the writing itself. It's too soon to tell, I know, but I do hope Disney is better about Annabeth's character than the books were, because I saw Book Annabeth as rude, selfish, and unfair, it bothered me that everyone in the story still idolized her despite how toxic her behavior was (save for Percy, but just in the beginning, and then he was fine with her hitting him and calling him stupid all the time), and I saw glimpses of that in episode 3, so I'm hoping for better.

Also, that whole, What are you afraid of? conversation felt so weird and forced. They JUST started the quest, Percy is throwing in suggestions, Annabeth treats him like he's stupid for it, and then demands to know why he's scared of who he is, and I'm like ?? What warranted that question? He hasn't used his powers yet, he hasn't refused to use his powers yet or talk about his father or anything, so why would he seem afraid of who he is? It just makes no sense.

Honestly? At this point, I just feel bad for Leah because Annabeth is a very difficult character to make likable in my eyes, and it's made worse when the writing won't allow her to be any better.

Aside from that, I really did love the episode a lot. I wish Grover had done more to defend Percy in the beginning, but he did the same thing in the book and he eventually did step in. Medusa was actually great. I hated the actress's character in the Flash, so I was wary, but she really knocked it out of the park. I love some of the extra details they put in, like Percy giving her a chance because of his mom and kindness (fatal flaw, if you know you know), I LOVED the consensus song, and YES! I was SO worried they wouldn't have Percy send Medusa's head to Olympus, but they did and he was perfect and it was AMAZING! When Annabeth said that what Medusa said isn't what happened, I would've liked an explanation of what actually did happen. Then again, it feels like there's a bit too much exposition already, to be honest. Like there were more creative ways to explain Thalia, there were more creative ways to explain Annabeth and Luke finding camp, and I don't know if it's because I've memorized the books at this point, but it feels like so much of the episode is just dedicated to explaining things that don't really need explanation or could be saved for later to show through flashbacks or something. I don't know, just more creative than standing and sitting there while someone explains everything.

It works great sometimes, like with Sally and Percy, but other moments just feel very... exposition-y.

I love this show. It's the highlight of my week. I maintain that we are getting the best possible adaptation. It's just because I love this story so much and it's so sacred to me that I can't help but critique. I don't think the books are flawless (i.e. the female characters), so it stands to reason that I won't find the show completely flawless either. Is it still sacred to me? Absolutely. Percy Jackson has always been too important not to nitpick, I think.

[pastelwitchling]

Hello, I'm not sure if you've done this before, but would you be willing to write about how everyone else who worked on the Lockheart machine took awhile to be affected but Alex only took 2 days to be on a ledge? I feel like a lot of his mental illness was overlooked on the show. Thank you!

***

              There were certain perks to being married, Michael was quickly discovering.

              Oh, he wasn’t just talking about the guaranteed sex whenever he wanted it, the way Alex let Michael touch him underneath the table whenever they went out for dinner, or Alex referring to him as “my husband, Michael,” whenever he introduced him to his old Air Force buddies. Though those were definitely perks, one of which Michael would be taking full advantage of tonight when he got Alex home and alone.

              But he meant the other perks. The “work” perks, as he liked to call them. The way he got to stroll into one of the most hidden-away, discreet, restricted organizations in the world with his hands in his pockets, uncaring and unperturbed at the fact that he was surrounded by the world’s most brilliant scientists, soldiers, and—for some—assassins.

              The way he got to take the elevator up to the highest level where barely anyone else got to go because his baby had clearance. Mostly, Michael loved being able to check in on Alex, and satisfy any lingering anxiety he still had after he’d come to Deep Sky for the first time to find the man he loved standing on a ledge, almost lost to him forever.

              As usual, something in Michael’s chest settled and the dread that had been squirming in the pit of his stomach dissipated to nothing as he pushed open Alex’s office door (because coming in without needing to knock was another husband perk) and found Alex studying some files at his desk with Eduardo beside him. Safe and sound.

              Without even looking up from his papers, Alex said, “Hey, baby.”

              Michael couldn’t help but smile at the nickname, and did what he’d been itching to do all day. Not caring that Eduardo was there, he slid a hand into Alex’s hair and pulled his head in, kissing his crown, then his forehead. He could never settle for just one with Alex.

              As if reading his thoughts, Alex scoffed, trying to hide his own smile, and failing to will away his blush.

              “All right,” he murmured, “I get it. I’ll just use the bathroom, then we can go.”

              “Hurry up,” Michael said against the shell of his ear, low enough that only Alex would hear. “I missed you too much today.”

              Alex lightly slapped his chest, but still pecked his lips when he stood. Michael grinned like an idiot as he watched Alex walk out, but it fell as soon as he turned to Eduardo and found him staring back, unamused.

              “Tell me,” he sighed, picking up the file Alex had just finished with, “are you capable of restraining yourself for two minutes? I do need my top agent beyond your own horny schedule.”

              Michael raised a brow, unapologetic. “Have you seen your top agent?”

              Eduardo merely narrowed his eyes, then resumed his work in filing away the documents. “How’s he doing at home? He tells me he’s fine, but a Manes man’s definition of fine isn’t the same as a normal human’s.”

              Michael tilted his head, brows pinched. “Why’re you askin’? Does he not seem okay?”

              “Fine,” Eduardo echoed, shrugging a shoulder. “But I confess, after the incident with the Lockhart Machine, I worry for him. If he wasn’t so indispensable, I’d give him a few months off. Maybe a year.”

              Michael shifted a little on the spot, trying to wipe away the horrifying memory that clung to him every time he even thought of Alex working in this place. He pressed his lips together in an attempt to calm himself down before he spoke, but the edge stuck in his voice, “Then I guess you should’ve been keeping a better eye out when you assigned the damn thing, huh?”

              Eduardo stopped what he was doing and met Michael’s eyes. Part of Michael argued that this was Alex’s boss, that he knew Michael was an alien, and that he should probably retreat. Still, he couldn’t deny that there was always going to be a resentful, louder part of him that blamed Eduardo and Deep Sky for where Alex had ended up that day.

              Maybe Ramos could sense that because he leaned back in his seat, and while Michael might’ve been expecting a retort or argument, he merely heaved a sigh. He looked like he blamed himself, too.

              “You’re right,” he said calmly. “We should’ve. Now you, me, and my nephew spend every minute he’s here sneaking glances at him to make sure he’s doing okay.”

              Michael’s anger ebbed at the sight of Eduardo’s guilt. He started shaking his head, to say that it was in the past and Alex was safe and that was all that mattered, but then Eduardo went on—

              “It’s strange though.”

              He paused. “Strange?”

              “All the others,” Eduardo shook his head, “it took them years to fall to the Lockhart Machine. Alex shattered in under two days.” He shrugged. “He lasted longer against its power than any of the others, long enough for us to get to him, but the others didn’t even feel its effects in the beginning.” He pushed himself out of his chair with a groan. “I always knew his father had beaten him down, but it must’ve taken an especially broken mind for the Lockhart Machine to penetrate that easily.” He patted Michael’s shoulder. “Good thing his heart’s always been stronger.”

              Eduardo said this like it was a comfort, like Michael was owed for this strength in Alex. But Michael couldn’t hear him. All he could think about was Alex’s mind, damaged and brittle because of . . . well, it could only have been because of—

              “It wasn’t you,” Eduardo simply as he let go, turning his back to Michael to gather the files.

              Michael blinked, still caught in the dredges of his thoughts. “Huh?”

              “You’re not the one who put him on that ledge,” he said, as easily as though he was talking about the weather. When he smiled over his shoulder, Michael was at a loss. “You’re the one that kept him from falling off of it.” His hands full, Eduardo nudged Michael’s arm with his elbow. “He knows that. Figured you should know it, too.”

              “Are you interrogating my husband again?” Alex asked as he came back in, pulling his jacket on.

              Eduardo didn’t miss a beat. “I don’t regret that instance, he disabled our security cameras and broke into our headquarters.”

              “I had a good reason for that.”

              “You were trying to get Alex a sandwich.”

              “I wasn’t sure he’d eaten.”

              “What do you think we do here, let him starve?”

              “My husband, my responsibility!”

              “Is it also your responsibility to try to have to sex with him in our offices?”

              “That was a storage closet!”

              “It was a high-tech lab, aren’t you supposed to be a genius?”

              “Enough!” Alex snapped, waving his arms to get their attention. “My god, like nephew like uncle.” He pinched the bridge of his nose, and huffed. “Can we go now please?”

              “Please do,” Eduardo said, eyes narrowed at Michael. “Kyle did warn me . . .”

              “You Valentis,” Michael smiled sweetly, guiding Alex out of the room with an arm around his waist. He wouldn’t deny he was eager to get him out of there. “Always such a treat.”

              Michael had no idea he’d been silent on the way out until they were by his truck and Alex came around to the driver’s side, fixing his jacket collar. “You okay?”

              He hesitated, searching Alex’s face for any secret discomfort or unhappiness. He didn’t find it.

              “You’re the one that kept him from falling off of it.”

              He cupped Alex’s neck, his fingers buried in the hair at the nape, and he smiled softly. “Yeah, baby, I’m fine. Kiss me?”

              Alex raised a brow and smirked. “You know you never have to ask.” He leaned in and kissed Michael’s lips once, twice, and only pulled away laughing when Michael had started pushing him against the truck. “Not here, Michael!”

              Michael held onto his hips. He didn’t want to let him go just yet. Or ever. Smiling against Alex’s mouth, already eager to kiss him again, he whispered, “Why not? I can just disable the security cameras again.”

***

Happy malex Monday ❤️

[pastelwitchling]

              The first time Alex had seen Michael’s scars, he’d lain the cowboy down on the bed and kissed the spots with a bare brush of his lips that had Michael’s head spinning.

              “You don’t have to,” he’d started weakly, too busy arching his back as Alex’s tongue swiped across his naked skin to finish the argument, the rest of his thoughts turned to fog.

              The scars had not come from a good place, and every time Alex caught sight of the faint pink marks, long-hidden beneath a smattering of chest hair, he held Michael like he was precious and kissed the marks until Michael forgot his own name, let alone any of the bad memories. Yes, the scars had not come from a good place, but damn it if Michael didn’t love the attention they brought him.

              No one else had ever known what to do with Michael’s injuries, what to do with the nightmares foster parents who had no business being foster parents had inflicted, what to do with Michael’s broken mind and broken body and broken skin. Maria had tried to get him to talk about it, like it would somehow bring them closer together, even though he doubted she’d ever know what to do with the information either. And while Michael knew it had come from a good place, he’d always felt pushed into something he wasn’t ready for and didn’t want. Alex didn’t force him to talk. Alex just kissed him and protected him and loved him.

              Alex shared pieces of himself that left him raw and vulnerable until Michael knew his own haunted mind was safe here, too. Alex, who never let the world in past the surface, let Michael in to his core. Michael wanted so badly to be worthy of that.

              “I love your body,” Alex murmured against Michael’s nipple, his hand drawing lazy circles in the trail of hair leading down Michael’s abdomen, nestling his fingers in the wiry hair between Michael’s legs and pushing an unsteady sigh past Michael’s lips. Nothing Alex ever said felt like consolation or sugarcoating, mostly because Alex didn’t seem to see the point in lying.

              If he told Michael he loved him, it was because he did. If he told Michael he was gorgeous, it was because he genuinely believed Michael was. Alex’s honesty was always a bit intoxicating.

              “I love your body,” Michael murmured, running a hand down Alex’s naked spine, too in awe of his perfect husband and his perfect back and his perfect shoulders to take notice of the way Alex seemed to whisper the words into Michael’s own skin.

              “You’re so beautiful,” he said, faintly kissing one of Michael’s ribs before moving further down. The setting sun peeked in through the drawn curtains, leaving a beam of light along the bed. It lit Alex’s hair and as Alex’s mouth closed over Michael’s skin. Michael watched as the sun hit his eyes and left a line of bright hazel and gold against the dark brown. His heart pounded as Alex slid further down, down, down. He slid a hand into Alex’s hair, heat pooling in his gut as Alex’s tongue licked a long line across his hip, his legs instinctively spread wide as his husband slid in between them.

              They’d been at it for hours, a rare lazy day when Alex hadn’t wanted to get out of bed in the morning and Michael had been all too happy indulging him. Then an hour’s indulgence turned to two, then three, and now they were nearing the evening, and it looked like they were getting ready to start all over again.

              Michael loved his life. Alex’s hands stretched up his body, fingers spread out to touch as much of Michael as he could. His fingers stopped at the scars, rubbing them softly until Michael was arching his back and begging for more of Alex’s tongue. Alex reached up only to pinch Michael’s nipples, his mouth closing over Michael’s cock and taking him to the hilt before he was lowering his hands back down to the scars.

              All the hate that put these here, Alex seemed to silently promise with every touch, I’m going to love you until they can’t hurt you anymore.

              Michael couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take the fierce, protective look in Alex’s eyes as he watched him, as he alternated between twisting Michael’s nipples and rubbing the scars, as he swallowed Michael down as eagerly as though he was always dying for a taste of him. His body damp and his chest heaving, he thrusted up into Alex’s mouth. Alex hummed, sending vibrations throughout Michael’s body that had his mouth hanging open.

              Michael grabbed fistfuls of Alex’s hair, thrusting with renewed vigor into his mouth as Alex continued to touch him in ways that kept him incapable of more than cursing and breathing Alex’s name. The heat in his gut turned hotter and hotter and hotter until Michael came without a warning, his body shuddering harder as Alex grabbed his thighs and pulled him in even deeper, swallowing him down.

              When Alex finally pulled off, kissing Michael’s thigh before he dragged his body up Michael’s, Michael found his eyes darker and hungrier than they’d been this morning.

              Chuckling lazily and out of breath, Michael wrapped his arms around Alex’s shoulders. “You sure you don’t only love me for my body?”

              Alex bit his lower lip as he grinned, wide and wild, before he grabbed Michael’s thigh and hitched his leg up around his own waist. Michael’s smile fell on a gasp as he felt Alex’s hard length press into his own, feeling, as he only ever did with Alex, like the sexiest man in the world.

              “Spread your legs,” he said in a voice like gravel, “I’ll show you how much I love you.”

              Okay, Michael thought dizzily, spreading his legs even further as Alex lined himself. For Alex, he really wouldn’t mind taking second place.

***

I honestly have no idea what this is. I was given the word scars, and this is what I got. Happy malex Monday ❤️

[pastelwitchling]

              The first time Alex had seen Michael’s scars, he’d lain the cowboy down on the bed and kissed the spots with a bare brush of his lips that had Michael’s head spinning.

              “You don’t have to,” he’d started weakly, too busy arching his back as Alex’s tongue swiped across his naked skin to finish the argument, the rest of his thoughts turned to fog.

              The scars had not come from a good place, and every time Alex caught sight of the faint pink marks, long-hidden beneath a smattering of chest hair, he held Michael like he was precious and kissed the marks until Michael forgot his own name, let alone any of the bad memories. Yes, the scars had not come from a good place, but damn it if Michael didn’t love the attention they brought him.

              No one else had ever known what to do with Michael’s injuries, what to do with the nightmares foster parents who had no business being foster parents had inflicted, what to do with Michael’s broken mind and broken body and broken skin. Maria had tried to get him to talk about it, like it would somehow bring them closer together, even though he doubted she’d ever know what to do with the information either. And while Michael knew it had come from a good place, he’d always felt pushed into something he wasn’t ready for and didn’t want. Alex didn’t force him to talk. Alex just kissed him and protected him and loved him.

              Alex shared pieces of himself that left him raw and vulnerable until Michael knew his own haunted mind was safe here, too. Alex, who never let the world in past the surface, let Michael in to his core. Michael wanted so badly to be worthy of that.

              “I love your body,” Alex murmured against Michael’s nipple, his hand drawing lazy circles in the trail of hair leading down Michael’s abdomen, nestling his fingers in the wiry hair between Michael’s legs and pushing an unsteady sigh past Michael’s lips. Nothing Alex ever said felt like consolation or sugarcoating, mostly because Alex didn’t seem to see the point in lying.

              If he told Michael he loved him, it was because he did. If he told Michael he was gorgeous, it was because he genuinely believed Michael was. Alex’s honesty was always a bit intoxicating.

              “I love your body,” Michael murmured, running a hand down Alex’s naked spine, too in awe of his perfect husband and his perfect back and his perfect shoulders to take notice of the way Alex seemed to whisper the words into Michael’s own skin.

              “You’re so beautiful,” he said, faintly kissing one of Michael’s ribs before moving further down. The setting sun peeked in through the drawn curtains, leaving a beam of light along the bed. It lit Alex’s hair and as Alex’s mouth closed over Michael’s skin. Michael watched as the sun hit his eyes and left a line of bright hazel and gold against the dark brown. His heart pounded as Alex slid further down, down, down. He slid a hand into Alex’s hair, heat pooling in his gut as Alex’s tongue licked a long line across his hip, his legs instinctively spread wide as his husband slid in between them.

              They’d been at it for hours, a rare lazy day when Alex hadn’t wanted to get out of bed in the morning and Michael had been all too happy indulging him. Then an hour’s indulgence turned to two, then three, and now they were nearing the evening, and it looked like they were getting ready to start all over again.

              Michael loved his life. Alex’s hands stretched up his body, fingers spread out to touch as much of Michael as he could. His fingers stopped at the scars, rubbing them softly until Michael was arching his back and begging for more of Alex’s tongue. Alex reached up only to pinch Michael’s nipples, his mouth closing over Michael’s cock and taking him to the hilt before he was lowering his hands back down to the scars.

              All the hate that put these here, Alex seemed to silently promise with every touch, I’m going to love you until they can’t hurt you anymore.

              Michael couldn’t take it. He couldn’t take the fierce, protective look in Alex’s eyes as he watched him, as he alternated between twisting Michael’s nipples and rubbing the scars, as he swallowed Michael down as eagerly as though he was always dying for a taste of him. His body damp and his chest heaving, he thrusted up into Alex’s mouth. Alex hummed, sending vibrations throughout Michael’s body that had his mouth hanging open.

              Michael grabbed fistfuls of Alex’s hair, thrusting with renewed vigor into his mouth as Alex continued to touch him in ways that kept him incapable of more than cursing and breathing Alex’s name. The heat in his gut turned hotter and hotter and hotter until Michael came without a warning, his body shuddering harder as Alex grabbed his thighs and pulled him in even deeper, swallowing him down.

              When Alex finally pulled off, kissing Michael’s thigh before he dragged his body up Michael’s, Michael found his eyes darker and hungrier than they’d been this morning.

              Chuckling lazily and out of breath, Michael wrapped his arms around Alex’s shoulders. “You sure you don’t only love me for my body?”

              Alex bit his lower lip as he grinned, wide and wild, before he grabbed Michael’s thigh and hitched his leg up around his own waist. Michael’s smile fell on a gasp as he felt Alex’s hard length press into his own, feeling, as he only ever did with Alex, like the sexiest man in the world.

              “Spread your legs,” he said in a voice like gravel, “I’ll show you how much I love you.”

              Okay, Michael thought dizzily, spreading his legs even further as Alex lined himself. For Alex, he really wouldn’t mind taking second place.

***

I honestly have no idea what this is. I was given the word scars, and this is what I got. Happy malex Monday ❤️

[pastelwitchling]

              Michael had issues with memories. In that, he hated them.

              He hated being reminded of the past, he hated remembering how awful his life had been before that moment when he’d been seventeen and then for the next decade. He hated thinking back to all the times he’d kept his feelings bottled up, all the things he should’ve said but was too scared or angry to, all the times he should’ve fought for the love of his life but didn’t.

              He hated imagining his Alex, afraid and miserable, trudging his way through life alone because he had believed Michael didn’t love him. Michael thought he probably should’ve confessed to this hate he had, taken the weight off his chest and unleashed some of the tension that knotted in his shoulders every time he thought of his Alex back then and everything they’d both had to endure. But then Alex would smile lovingly at him for no reason, or laugh at something he’d say with the perfect blush in his cheeks, and Michael preferred to bask in that affection instead of lament all the time he’d wasted.

              That was why, when he had started cleaning their bedroom that morning and come across Alex’s old journal underneath the bed, he hadn’t expected to find himself curled up on the floor against the bed, his legs pulled up to his chest as he read some of the last of Alex’s scrawls. The setting sun poured in through the blinds and left bars of gold light across the floor when Michael heard Alex calling for him.

              The door creaked open and Alex peeked his head in.

              “Hey,” Alex leaned his shoulder against the doorframe, hands in his jacket pockets, “I brought some cake. What’re you doing?”

              “Reading.”

              “Something interesting?” he raised a brow, and soon was easing himself onto the carpet beside Michael. Michael instinctively reached a hand out and eased his descent, and instead of pulling away, he grabbed a fistful of his jacket.

              “Yeah,” Michael murmured, eyes still searching the page. “Really interesting.”

              Alex titled his head, trying to peek at the book. “What . . . is that my journal?”

              “Yep.”

              “Oh my god, I thought I lost this months ago,” he exclaimed, and tried to take the journal back, but Michael kept it out of reach. “Where’d you even find it?”

              “Under the bed,” he said, and did not fail to notice the way Alex watched him. There was no mistaking it; he’d picked up on his tone.

              “What’s wrong with you?”

              Michael shook his head. What was wrong? Did Alex not remember the things he’d written in here? Could he really not understand what the problem was?

              “Hey,” Alex ran his fingers through Michael’s curls, “talk to me.”

              Michael clenched his jaw. He knew it wasn’t fair to be angry with Alex—how could he be, when Alex had been nothing but honest about his feelings?—but he couldn’t help it. He was angry that Alex, who always understood him better than anyone, couldn’t understand him now. He was angry that Alex had been so miserable in a time when Michael couldn’t protect him. He was angry, more than anything, at himself. Because he knew he was the reason these words existed. He knew what the splotches of ink meant, and imagined Alex pouring his heart out on the paper only to cry his heart out when he couldn’t take it anymore.

              Michael stood. “Nothing’s wrong. I have to go. I have a shift at the junkyard.”

              Alex, concerned, started to follow. “Guerin?”

              “I’ll see you later.”

              Without another word, Michael closed the bedroom door behind him, stilling against it with his fist tight around the doorknob. His fingers trembled, every fiber of his being demanding that he go back inside, hug his Alex, kiss away that furrow in his brows, and confess to everything that was weighing him down. But acknowledging the contents of this journal meant acknowledging his own fault in its existence, and he couldn’t do it. Not now, when he was so consumed with this ugly feeling.

              He looked back at the door, wondering if Alex hadn’t chased after him yet because he knew Michael needed space, and forced himself to let go, to leave the house and get in his truck and drive away, all the while telling himself that distance was what he needed to feel better.

              It wasn’t working. Michael had gone to the junkyard in the hopes of working himself to a sweat, until he wasn’t unable to think of anything but the pain in his limbs, but almost two minutes later, he’d pulled out Alex’s journal and here he was, yet again, sitting on the steps of the airstream as he reread Alex’s last entry from just two years ago.

              “I thought I’d never feel this lost again. I thought, after Forrest, I’d learned my lesson and knew to give Michael up. I thought I finally knew how it felt to be loved, and I didn’t want whatever guarded version of it Michael chose to give me. But it’s happened again. He’s kissed me, and I let him in. I didn’t expect it, but even after everything I told myself, even after all the warnings, even after I’d had someone who loved me better, I still wanted him. I still do, with everything I have. I kind of hate myself for it. I think I hate him a little, too. Because now, he smiles at me and kisses me and touches me, and I don’t know how much of it to believe. I don’t know how much of him to have faith in this time. I think I hate him a little more than a little. I only wish that was enough to give him up.”

              Michael shut his eyes tight, pressing the base of his palm to his temple. Alex’s concerned face came into view, and again, Michael wondered if Alex had been so frightened of him that he pretended not to know what he’d written. Or had he been mocking Michael, silently asking if it had really needed to take Michael reading Alex’s words written down to understand how he’d hurt him. A darker part of Michael had debated whether Alex had purposely left this journal under the bed in the hopes that Michael would find it while he was cleaning and finally come face-to-face with some hard truths.

              But no, it had been covered in a thin sheen of dust, clearly forgotten for a while.

              Michael groaned, running his hands through his curls. He heard tires on gravel, and his heart leapt, foolishly hoping that Alex had followed him, and looked up to find Dallas instead as he parked and stepped out of his car.

              “Wow,” Dallas greeted with a smile, his hands in his pockets, “you’re not even pretending that you’re not waiting for him to show anymore, are you?”

              “We’re married,” Michael said, slumping against the trailer. “I don’t have to pretend I’m not waiting for him.”

              “Aww, tough cowboy in love,” he groaned as he sat down on the step beside him. “That why you’re here instead of spending the night having a romantic dinner with your husband?”

              Michael pursed his lips, turning Alex’s journal in both hands before he held it out for Dallas to look at.

              Brow raised, Dallas took the journal and opened to a random page. “What is this?” he asked as his eyes scanned the page. His brows furrowed as he got to the bottom and started on another entry. His frown deepened. “Guerin, did you just get me to read Alex’s diary or something? I should definitely not be reading something like that without permission. You should definitely not be reading something like this without permission.”

              “Alex doesn’t keep secrets from me,” Michael defended, because he couldn’t help it. “Or . . . I didn’t think he did.”

              Dallas considered him. “This thing is why you look like someone else just kissed your husband?”

              Michael glared, but Dallas was already returning his attention to the journal. “Seriously though, does Alex know you have this?”

              “Yeah,” Michael murmured, staring out into the dark desert. “He knows.”

              A pause. “Does he though?” Dallas grinned. “There’s no way he knows it’s getting to you like this, and he’s just leaving you alone to deal with it. Hell, the only time I’ve ever seen Alex give you space is when you fight to get away from him—”

              “I’ve never wanted to be away from him!” Michael snapped, and Dallas looked startled, silence weighing them down for a long, uncomfortable minute.

              “Okay,” Dallas finally said slowly. “Is that what’s going on here?”

              Michael worked his jaw, unwilling to look at him. “You saw what he wrote.”

              “Yeah, but . . .” he flipped through the pages. “Michael, these date back to at least two years ago.”

              “I kissed him, Dallas,” he said, the edge in his voice more a mark of his fear than any anger. “I kissed him, and he said he hated me. And all that time—” he cut off, his chest suddenly aching. It got harder to breathe the more he thought about it. “All that time, after he left me standing in this junkyard and I thought he had a million other things to do, all the work I thought he was doing for the Air Force, all the friends I was sure he was hanging out with, and it turns out, all he did was protect me and think that I couldn’t care less about him while he did it.”

              Dallas sighed. “Michael, man, come on.”

              “All that time,” Michael whispered, shaking his head, “I thought he had this whole other happy life that I was infesting, and he was just as miserable as I was. Except he never gave up on me, and I—”

              “Stop it,” Dallas squeezed his shoulder. “Did you tell Alex any of this?”

              He asked as though he knew what Michael’s answer would be. As he thought, Dallas didn’t look the least bit surprised when Michael shook his head.

              “So let me get this straight,” he said. “You read a few journal entries about Alex upset over you walking away from him, and to fix it, you . . . left him alone without any explanation.”

              Michael swallowed. “I’m scared,” he confessed, his voice quiet.

              “Scared of what?”

              “That I’ll find out he still hates me.” Saying the words made it all feel so much more real, and Michael found he couldn’t look away from the journal. “And he’s only with me because he’s more miserable away.”

              Silence. Then Dallas surprised him when he chuckled softly. “When are you going to get it? There’s nothing that man loves more in this world than you.” Michael didn’t know what to say to that, and Dallas patted his arm. “Hey, you know why you didn’t go into the airstream to wallow inside instead? You know it’s not your home, and it’s not what you need. Lucky for you though,” Dallas smiled and stood, “the answer to both those things is the same person. And I’ll bet you anything he’s waiting for you to realize that right now.”

              Michael didn’t get back home for another hour, when the sky was pitch black and the rest of the world was sound asleep. Except Alex, apparently, because Michael parked in their driveway to find all of their windows and front porch lit. The door was already open when Michael tried it, and he swallowed. Alex was making a point to show him that he was waiting up for him, because there was no way he would go to sleep without doublechecking all the locks first.

              Sure enough, Michael smelled tomato soup cooking, and when he stepped into the living room, there Alex was, sitting on the couch with his elbows on his knees, his fingers interlocked. He looked like he’d been in that position since Michael had left, and when his eyes met Michael’s, they were as angry as Michael’s had been. Alex, however, had a coldness to his anger that made Michael shudder and glad he was never on the other end of it. Until now.

              “You’re still up?”

              Alex didn’t humor that question with a response.

              “Did you eat? It doesn’t look like you ate or changed—come on, you must be uncomfortable, we’ll get you into some sweats and—”

              “You better have a damn good explanation for walking out like that,” Alex cut him off coldly, and Michael flinched. “Or am I just supposed to pretend you didn’t shut me out again?”

              Michael tugged on the hem of his jacket, looking at everything but Alex. “Please don’t talk to me like that, Private.”

              “Like what?”

              “Like you still hate me,” he whispered, and Alex said nothing. Michael’s lower lip trembled as all the exhaustion and fear and misery showed itself, and he knelt down in front of Alex. He gripped his thighs and rested his chin on Alex’s knee, needing to touch him. “Do you?” he murmured, a tear sliding down along his nose before he could help it. “Still hate me?”

              Alex watched him, and Michael kept waiting for him to say that it was true, that there was still a part of him that hated the cowboy for how he’d treated him. But Alex only sighed and looked away, then looked back at Michael and held out his hand.

              “Give it to me,” he commanded.

              Michael swallowed, pulling the journal out of his jacket and placing it slowly in Alex’s hand. Alex then took his wrist and said, “Up,” albeit gentler. Michael rose to his feet, and Alex bent over to quickly dust off his jeans. Then he walked over to the fireplace, and without warning, tossed the journal into the flames.

              “What—Alex!”

              Alex, however, couldn’t have cared less about the journal as he rounded on Michael, arms crossed. “I thought we were done with that crap,” he demanded. “I thought we were in this thing together now. I thought we didn’t walk away from each other anymore.”

              “Alex,” Michael shook his head, still wide-eyed at the burning pages. “I only—”

              “No, Guerin, no!” he snapped. “If you were upset, you should’ve talked to me. If you were angry, you should’ve talked to me. Even and especially if I’m the one you’re pissed at, then you talk to ME! Being your husband means I don’t have to pace and panic anymore every time something’s going on with you!”

              “And you hated doing that, right?” Michael said, before he could help it. “You hated how I made you feel, you hated me, Alex. I read your journal entries, I know how you felt about me that whole time we were apart—”

              “Of course I did,” Alex argued, frustration showing itself in his brimming tears, “I hated everything because we were apart!”

              Michael stared, shocked at Alex crying, but when he tried to take a step towards him, Alex shook his head and stepped back.

              “I hated you,” he conceded. “I hated you because I wanted you more than anything, and I never knew where I stood with you. I hated knowing that I would do anything—anything—to make you happy, but not knowing if you cared one way or the other how I felt. I hated fighting all my demons for a guy that turned everything I said into a joke and never even tried to see how hard I was trying. I hated loving a man who never thought twice about walking away from me!”

              “Alex—”

              “Damn it, Guerin, you can’t just leave like that, you have no idea what it does to me!”

              “Okay, I’m—I’m sorry,” he tried, holding his hands up in defense as he slowly approached his husband. “I’m sorry, don’t cry. Don’t cry, okay?”

              Alex had told Michael that he didn’t know what his leaving did, but Michael could see it play out on his face. He could see Alex’s anger as it shifted to heartbreak and panic, the fear he must’ve felt when the man he’d spent so long fighting to have had suddenly left him all alone again. Michael had wondered earlier if Alex hadn’t tried getting in touch with him because he thought Michael needed space, but now Michael wondered if the truth wasn’t closer to Alex fearing getting in touch with Michael and pushing him further away.

              “You can’t do that to me,” Alex whimpered, and Michael’s heart broke. He finally got to him and wrapped Alex in his arms, holding him tight enough that it should’ve hurt. Alex’s cries were soft against his shoulder. “I was so mad at the world,” he managed under his breath, “and so mad at myself, and I said so much crap I didn’t mean. I’m not that man anymore, Guerin. I’m so in love with you that I can’t imagine a time where I ever felt anything less than what I feel right now. I forgot how bad the feelings in that book were until you left. You shouldn’t have left me.”

              Michael shushed him softly, reaching a hand into his hair and tugging on the strands. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anymore, it’s okay.”

              Alex gripped his jacket back tightly. “You can’t leave me again,” he cried, and Michael shut his eyes. “You can’t ever do that, Guerin. I can’t let you go anymore, I can’t give you up. If you leave me, I’ll die. I will.”

              “Stop,” Michael demanded in a whisper, squeezing him at the very thought. “Stop stop stop. Don’t talk like that. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.”

              Alex only hugged his waist tighter in response, and they both stood there, holding each other in front of the fire as the pages of the past burned.

              Finally, after a long several few minutes when Alex’s tears had subsided and his cries turned silent, Michael said, “Did you still make dinner?”

              Alex, tired and his voice cracking, huffed a chuckle. “I almost reached for the phone twelve times. I had to keep myself busy with something.”

              Michael turned his face into Alex’s neck and kissed the soft skin there, then he said, “Do me a favor?”

              “Anything,” Alex said without hesitation. Michael believed him.

              “The next time I try to do something stupid like I did today, jump on my back, okay? Cling to me, hug me, tie me up. Just don’t let me turn away from you, no matter what reason I have. Being away sucked, and I’m just a dumbass when it comes to you.”

              He could feel Alex’s soft smile against his cheek, even as he held him protectively. “Will do.”

***

I wrote this to save for malex monday, but I couldn't wait. Happy saturday 🩷

Quick reminder that I'm posting my original stories on my side blog, @katherineblackmare. Three chapters every Friday 🩷💕🩷💕

[justplainmels]

1.14 | Singularity

“It’s an Earth rule. Every kid has to have one.”

[narwhalsarefalling]

oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years

[narwhalsarefalling]

okay SO. i have two professors that both teach this one subject, but different classes. they have different last names, so i didnt know this at first and espically since they are academic RIVELS at my school, but they are MARRIED. but for the past 8 years they have been in an academic WAR of geospatical sciences data. more accurately, the raster vs vector data debate. i am personally on the side of "both have their pros and cons and can be utalizied to the utmost efficency" but both professors are like, DEADLOCKED in insistanting one is better then the other

so, professor A is my mentor. i like him a lot, and he was the main person that taught me the most abotu Eris and ArcGIS. professor B is a professor i had one for class, and shes nice and knows a lot of little tricks about Eris programming but mostly relies on arcMAP because shes the raster data professor.

and THESE MOTHERFUCKERS. have written no less then 30 papers that is basically like a "re: re: re: re: re: re: vector data is better then raster fuck you" but like, Professionally. and they leave stupid notes in the footnotes that read "Reguardless of Professor A's opinions reguarding the efficency of Vector data, Raster data has a more efficant polygon computing rate and is the most commonly used program on interplantaring mapping" and its HILARIOUS

[narwhalsarefalling]

ive read all of their papers, and its basically like reading an email chain between a married couple arguing over the colors of the kitchen backsplash for their new home. its HILARIOUS. but obviously, because of their differnet last names and because they act like they HATE each other, NOT VERY MANY PEOPLE REALIZES THEYRE MARRIED

until like LAST WEEK

[narwhalsarefalling]

professor B publishes a paper that casually drops the word "husband"

and obviously all the students are like "oh i didnt know u were married!" because we read that shit like how white suburban mothers read People Magazine

[narwhalsarefalling]

and shes like "yeah, its Professor A"

[narwhalsarefalling]

and we all FLIPPED. THE FUCK. OUT

[narwhalsarefalling]

we thought the framed picture of the two of them on professor A's desk was ironic because hes that type of guy

[narwhalsarefalling]

like, you gotta undestand. these two have gotten into YELLING matches in hallways. these two refuse to go onto trips with each other. but apparently they have a system where they quite LITERALLY leave all of their work at work and drive home in seperate cars and literally NEVER mention work at home. it is SO funny

[beez-n-crackers]

[nikosheba]

this is some real dinosaur king drama

[pastelwitchling]

Hi :) Would you (or did you already) write a fic where we get to see Kyle fussing over Alex when he takes him to Deep Sky after rescuing him from the pocket dimension?

***

“If you say you’re fine, Manes, I swear to God—”

“I’m not going to say I’m fine,” Alex chuckled, and even then the sound was choked with pain. Alex tried to smile, but the dark veins over his heart had spread too far up his neck and almost to one elbow. He looked pale and sickly and—Kyle couldn’t help but think it—wrong.

Alex Manes didn’t look sick and weak. Alex Manes didn’t lie on a hospital bed without the strength it took to hold Michael’s hand as his gripped the bedside railing with enough strength to bend it.

“You can fix this, right?” Michael demanded, his other hand surprisingly gentle as it brushed Alex’s bangs back and brushed the shell of his ear. “You can—you can fix it?”

Even with his eyes fluttering and his breaths quiet and shallow, Alex blindly reached up to cover Michael’s hand with his own. Michael gripped it with no small amount of relief.

“Fix radiation poisoning?” Kyle demanded. He was lucky they were in Deep Sky’s headquarters, or his answer would’ve been a determined but very delusional “Hell, yeah!” As it stood, he knew there wasn’t anything he wouldn’t try for his best friend, and this place was the place to try anything, which was why he was already pulling on his surgical gloves and prepping the tools he’d need for what was sure to be a long few hours. “Damn right I can.”

“Brave,” Alex grinned wearily. “I like that.”

“You’re brave,” Kyle argued. “I’m desperate.” He heaved a frustrated sigh as he pulled down Alex’s shirt collar. The damage was far worse than he’d imagined, and he hoped his face didn’t show it. But Alex chuckled.

“Just say it,” he murmured. “I know it’s bad.”

“It’s not bad,” he said at once. “It’s just not great.” He shut his eyes, his frustration mounting the longer Alex calmly laid there like he was suffering no more than a fever. It was driving Kyle crazy. “Why . . . Alex, you . . .”

Alex studied him carefully with half-lidded eyes, and even in his dazed state, he managed to see right through him because he told Michael, “Guerin, leave the room, please.”

Michael clenched his jaw. “Not a chance in hell, Alex.”

Alex sighed. “I don’t think you want to hear whatever Kyle has to say. Please, just go.”

“I’m not leaving you,” he glared.

“Better late than never,” Kyle said before he could help himself.

Michael glared, but looked unsurprised. Apparently, he’d seen the anger brewing on Kyle’s face for a while, too. “Spit it out, Valenti. I need you focused on healing Alex, so whatever’s in the way, get it out now.”

“Fine,” Kyle said, gripping the railing if only to keep from grabbing Michael and shaking him. “Where was this care and attention when Alex actually needed it? He’s only this far gone because you took your sweet time getting to him, so why wasn’t he more important when it mattered?!”

“Kyle,” Alex tried.

“No, Alex, no,” he cut him off. “No more damn excuses! You were stuck in a hole and where was your boyfriend? Playing super spy with the other aliens! Oh, but it’s okay, because he felt really bad about not realizing that it was weird you never checked in or called or answered his texts. And when we found out where you were, was that finally enough to get him to care? No, because one word from Max or Maria or Liz, and he was happy waiting on the damn sidelines for you to find your own way out, right? You were trapped in another world because everyone knew how important you were to him, and he was having a beer with Maria in front of a fire! You could’ve been dying for all anyone knew and”—he barked a humorless laugh—“hell, you were! And he still wanted to wait it out!”

He turned his tear-filled glare on Michael, every ounce of grief for his friend shining in the shake of his voice as he pointed at him with a trembling finger and said, “I won’t let him die, I won’t let anything happen to him, but when he comes out of this unscathed, it sure as hell won’t be because of you.”

Alex couldn’t seem to look at him, and Michael couldn’t seem to look away. But where Alex’s expression was tired and weak, Michael’s was furious and . . . miserable. He opened and closed his mouth several times like the words refused to leave him. “Feel better?”

His voice was so broken that Alex frowned, but Kyle thought it was only fair. At least he was now the one who was suffering under the weight of what he’d done to the man he loved.

“Not yet,” he heaved. Then, “I know you love Alex. But I stand by what I said before this whole mess. Alex has been trying and trying to reach out to you long before he ever got lost, and this was when he needed you to try back, and you didn’t. He is in here because you didn’t care enough to try. And I hope this moment haunts you for the rest of your life, Guerin, because if that’s what it takes for you to actually show how you feel about my best friend, then I’ll take it.

“There,” he huffed. “Now I feel better.”

Michael nodded and finally tore his gaze away and as he did, a tear rolled down his cheek, silencing Kyle at once. He brushed back Alex’s bangs and pressed a trembling kiss to his forehead. “I’m going to go catch the son of a bitch that did this, okay? I’ll be right back.”

“Guerin?” Alex tried, but was too weak to lift his head.

Michael pressed another kiss to his cheek, then his knuckles, before he gently set his hand down on the bed. “I’ll be right back, Private.”

He kept his eyes on Alex as long as he could, and then he turned and was out the door. Alex sighed, eyes shut. “Kyle, this wasn’t Michael’s fault.”

                Kyle shook his head, pulling the overhead light closer. Alex would need to go under soon, and Kyle kept telling himself that he would wake back up.

                “You get to expect bad things from bad people, Manes,” he said simply. “That doesn’t apply to the man you love. Now look at me, count back from ten, and try to relax.”

                *

                Michael had been careful about not venturing too far from Deep Sky during Alex’s surgery, in case he was needed. Not five minutes after he’d gotten the text from Kyle that the operation had gone well was Michael bursting through the automatic doors faster than they could open, his shoulder slamming into the glass and making it rattle.

                “Where is he?” he demanded at once to Kyle when he found him the hall. “How is he? Can I see him? He’s fine, right? He’s fine?”

                Kyle sighed, the relief coloring his voice as he said, “He’s fine,” he confirmed, and tilted his head at the door a few feet behind him. “He’s still asleep. You can see him, and he’ll be in pain for a few days, but the prototype serum worked. He’s clean.”

                Michael moved past him to the door, stopped, and without turning to face him said, “I love him more than anything, you know.”

                “I know,” he confirmed, and put his hands in his pockets, smirking faintly. “And he knows. He still deserves to see it.”

                Michael swallowed, not knowing what to say to that, and went into Alex’s room to find him fast asleep, head turned to the side and hair splayed against his pillow. Alex still looked tired, his brows pinched in pain, but the heaviness of the radiation poisoning was gone from his expression, and the sickly yellow of his face had faded.

                Now that Michael was in front of him, his steps slowed. He couldn’t help but think about his Alex and the time he’d spent in the liminal space. How many nights, how many hours or minutes or however much time he dared, not knowing if he would wake up again, did he sleep just like this? Terrified and knowing he couldn’t let it take over? Clinging to the hope that Michael was doing whatever it took to get him back? To save him? When had he started giving that hope up?

                “You plan on staring at me all day?” Alex murmured, and opened his eyes. A small smile tugged at his lips, and the way he looked at Michael loosened something in his chest. Michael released a breath he didn’t know he was holding and closed the distance between them in under a second, taking Alex’s face in his hands and smothering his cheeks and eyes and forehead and nose and lips with kisses.

                “Mmh—Guerin,” Alex tried, his voice colored with tired laughter, the only sign that Michael at least wasn’t hurting him. “I’m okay.”

                Michael pressed his forehead to Alex’s temple, heaving a long, shaky breath. “You’re okay,” he whispered, reminding himself, one hand on Alex’s arm, the other on his head, holding on with a bruising grip. “Y-You’re okay. You’re okay, baby.”

                “You’re okay, too,” Alex chuckled. “Breathe.”

                Michael swallowed, unwilling to move away from Alex’s cool touch, his vanilla scent. One of Alex’s hands was on his hip, his thumb brushing his waist as if to calm him. Like Michael was the one who’d spent endless weeks alone, fighting every day with nothing but wit and bare strength to stay alive, and then almost dying in a strange place anyway.

                Michael pulled back just far enough to drag a chair in as close to Alex’s bed as he could manage and sat down, both his hands gripping one of Alex’s tightly, his lips brushing Alex’s knuckles.

                “Let’s get married,” he said. “Right now. I can call Dallas, Isobel and Max could be here in under ten minutes, Gregory will make it to the afterparty and—”

                “Gregory’s caught up at the reservation,” Alex grinned into his pillow, “and I think your brother needs at least a minute to breathe after everything.”

                “I want to marry you,” Michael said, and winced at how much it sounded like an argument to his own ears. But he really didn’t care. “I want to marry you right now. I want you to be mine—”

                “I already am.”

                “—and I want to be yours—”

                “There was never any question of that.”

                He clenched his jaw. “This isn’t funny, Alex,” he said, his eyes burning. “I almost lost you, don’t you get that?”

                “And you think us getting married this very second is going to keep us safe from the reality of our own lives?” he scoffed. “Good luck with that.”

                “Would you stop?” Michael demanded, the tears falling in big fat drops before he could process them. “Stop acting like what happened to you was okay.”

                Alex shut his eyes. “It wasn’t okay, Michael, but I’m used to near-death experiences, it’s hardly anything new.”

                “I don’t want your life with me to be another near-death experience!” he snapped, and silence fell over their heads. Michael stared Alex down, fury and desperation surging through every inch of him, and yet when he tried to speak again, his voice came out as no louder than a breath.

                “I should’ve known something was wrong,” he said. “I should’ve known that you’d check in that first night or—or that you’d at least text me. I should’ve known you’d answer my calls and want to hear my voice, and I ignored all the warning signs because I didn’t want anything to be wrong.”

                He huffed, wiping his face roughly with his forearm. “I was such a coward . . . I was so scared about—about chasing you away again or . . . realizing that you just didn’t care enough to talk to me . . . that it wasn’t bothering you being away like it was bothering me . . . that I left you to die.” He grit his teeth. “So, please, don’t laugh it off, don’t pretend I didn’t hurt you, don’t tell me that it’s fine, Alex, because it’s not fine.”

                Alex considered him. Then he smiled softly, and said, “I spent every minute . . . of every day . . . waiting for you.” Michael tensed. “When I couldn’t walk anymore, I prayed I’d wake up to your face. I was so sure that you knew I was missing that first hour I didn’t check in.” He chuckled miserably. “I hoped you missed me the minute I left and tried to call me. And when I found out how long it had taken till you even knew . . . and then how much longer afterward? It broke my heart.”

                He inhaled shakily, his smile dimming as a single tear rolled down the bridge of his nose. “The worst part of it was that in that truck, when we were together . . . I figured that after everything I’d done to you . . . I deserved to be abandoned for a while. Get a taste of my own medicine.”

                “Alex,” Michael stood at once, and with such force that his chair fell backwards.

                “I know,” Alex shut his eyes. “Guerin, I know. But I knew I was dying and that my time with you was on the clock, and you have to let me get a little morbid. Even if, looking back at it now, I know it was stupid.”

                “Beyond stupid!” he argued. “Unbelievably stupid!” Against his better judgement, he climbed onto the bed and hovered over Alex, pinning his wrists to the bed. “Doubt whatever you want, Private, but never me. Never how I feel for you.” He cupped Alex’s jaw, his heart expanding painfully in his chest as Alex’s eyes fluttered at his touch and he turned into his palm. “I love you, and I’m going to spend the rest of our lives showing you. No more doubt, no more fear, no more anything against what we want for either of us. Not ever again, Manes.”

                The sparkle in Alex’s eyes was like lightning to Michael’s heart. “Guerin,” he breathed, reaching up to wrap his arms around Michael’s neck and pulling him down to kiss him. Their lips were inches apart, a breath—

                “HEY!” Kyle snapped. “Get off my patient!”

                Michael, ignoring Kyle, rested his body over Alex’s and hugged him tightly, nuzzling his neck. Against Alex’s collarbone, he said, “He wants me to kiss him, leave us alone.”

                “Guerin, he’s recovering!” Kyle argued, running up to Michael and yanking uselessly on his arm. The benefits of alien powers. “Oh my—your horny ass is not my problem, you insane alien cowboy freak, GET OFF HIM!”

***

Happy Malex Monday ❤

[pastelwitchling]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes Characters: Alex Manes, Michael Guerin, Kyle Valenti, Eduardo Ramos, Maria DeLuca Additional Tags: Malex, Anti Miluca, Anti Maria DeLuca, Cheating Summary:

After a dangerous collision between an alien turquoise and necklace, Michael wakes to a reality where he’s married to Maria instead of Alex.

***

Here it is! If you enjoy reading, if just a little, commenting and sharing/reblogging makes the world of a difference ❤

Happy malex Monday ❤

[sortofanobsession]

Nothing can hurt you more than family (9-1-1 ABO Buddie Part 4 Chapter 4)

Author’s Note: Unbeta’d. A bit short, but it gets the point across. Sorry, it took so long.

Summary:  Eddie confronts Maddie. It is awkward and aggressive but not terrible. 

“Pain given and pain received” Part 1, “Out of the Haze” Part 2, “Nothing heals tbe soul more than family” Part 3 (AO3 Series)

“Nothing can hurt you more than family” Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

Word Count: 1k+

Content Warnings: Mentions of what canonically happened with Doug. So mentions of stabbing. Mentions of death. Mentions of Domestic Violence. Mentions of abuse. Mentions of assault.

Chapter 4: Confrontation

The next few weeks were better. Buck would text back and forth with his sister. He’d meet her for lunch. He would bring Christopher along when he wasn’t in school. It seemed like everything might get back to some semblance of normal. The one hangup was that every time Maddie and Eddie saw each other, it was painfully awkward and tense. There was nothing positive between them. And that weighed on the omega’s heart. Buck hated it, but he didn’t know what to do. Maddie had acknowledged the fact that Buck and Christopher were able to meet her without Eddie was good. It was important that he let them have autonomy. But things were still bad. And as much as they all wanted to protect the pup, even Christopher could tell something was wrong. 

Maddie sighed as she saw Eddie waiting outside her building after her shift. The alpha’s posture was stiff but not angry. He wasn’t giving off a vibe that screamed danger. He didn’t look like his world was ending either, so odds are nothing was wrong with Evan or Christopher. He was probably just there to bother her. Or at least attempt to talk. She still kept her guard up as she approached him. He was still an alpha, after all, and this was her home. But if he could be civil. She’d allow it. She would be doing this for her brother. She had to focus on that. 

“Eddie,” she said in greeting. Her keys gripped tight in her hand.

“Maddie,” Eddie greeted back. “Can we talk?”

Maddie bit back a bitter laugh. What was she supposed to do? Say no, cause a scene. She sighed but nodded. It was for Evan. She’d do it for Evan.  One of her neighbors seemed to slow as they approached the building. The tension was obvious, and they were clearly concerned, especially after what had happened with Doug. She gave them a tight smile and a wave.

“Inside, I don’t need my neighbors gossiping about anyone else getting stabbed because of me,” she tells him.

They walked in awkward silence until they were in her living room.

“No one is going to get stabbed,” the alpha grumbled and tried to keep his annoyance at the insinuation. He reminded himself his mate’s sister had been through a lot. Chimney had nearly died. Maddie had nearly died. Buck had risked jail time, and possibly worse, to save her. And Eddie had helped. He sighed. “And it wasn’t on you, Maddie. He’s dead because you- that didn’t come out right.” Eddie ran a hand through his hair. “You didn’t do anything wrong doing what you did to Doug. It was self-defense. It was justifiable. He-”

“I highly doubt you’re here to talk about Doug,” Maddie stopped him. She needed to keep it together to get through this without saying something she couldn’t take back. If they kept on this topic, she wouldn’t be able to do that. “I don’t really want to talk about him.”

Eddie nodded. He could get that, even if she had sort have brought it up. Then again, he was a clearly agitated alpha that had waited for her outside her home. And her neighbors didn’t know him. So he didn’t push it. Not with that, at least.  “Yeah, okay. So, I know things have been a bit insane, and that morning was…tense.”

“Tense is an understatement, but I’m listening,” Maddie stated. 

“Okay,” Eddie took a deep breath and reminded himself he was here to try and fix things for his mate. “I know you’ve been through a lot more than anyone should have. I was even around for part of it. I know I fucked up, Maddie. I know I hurt him, and I am trying to fix that, but I can’t fix that overnight. I know I can’t magically fix that or this.” He gestures between himself and Maddie. “I know you don’t trust me. I mean, your instincts are probably screaming at you right now. And that’s justified. Alphas have put you through shit. Your dad wasn’t great. Your husband was an abusive knothead. For the record, I’d have torn any knothead to pieces for putting my sisters through half of what you went through. I’m a bit shocked you agreed to let me in here.” Eddie realized how off that sounded. “I’m not going to hurt you. I need you to know that. I would never…you could slap me, hit me, do anything to me, and that’d be fine. I’d let you, you’re my mate’s sister, and that means something. It does. I know I let things go too far. I know I hurt him and hurt you. I was an asshole that let my issues get the best of me.”

“Your issues nearly killed him,” Maddie pointed out.

“You don’t think I know that? I can’t close my eyes at night and not see him pale and motionless on that damn bunk. That image is seared into my brain. I wake up, and my hands shake, and I damn near cry because I swear I can still feel his cold skin and his barely beating pulse, and it will haunt me more than anything that happened to me overseas. Haunt me more than anything with Shannon. More than anything. Period. End of sentence. It surprises me every time that he just tells me it’s okay. That we’re okay. Because it’s not, I’m not. I know you think he can do better. That he deserves better. I don’t think it. I know it. I know he deserved someone better than me. I know he deserved someone that didn’t put him through all the shit I did. And it would genuinely kill me if I lost him.” He didn’t miss the way Maddie tensed at that. “But if you think for half a second I wouldn’t let him walk away, if that is what he wanted, you’re wrong. I would die for Buck. He could tear my heart out, and I’d let him because as much as living in a world without him would destroy me, I would never hurt him like that. I have loved him for years and nearly lost him too many times. But as selfish as I am, I’d die before I let what happened to happen again. Only one thing could take me away from your brother’s side, other than my own death, and that’s Buck. Buck’s the only one that can convince me to leave. I’d rather die than do it, but I would. I need you to understand that.”

“So if my brother looked at you tomorrow and said he needed space, would you let him go?”

“I would. I have before. I need you to see that. Doug hunted you down. The amount of pain he caused. I would not want that for anyone. It infuriates me that no one tried to help you. If I had known you, if I have-" Eddie has to calm his mind. She didn’t want to talk about Doug. She had made that clear. He needed to redirect and prove his point in a different way. So he can help her see he can be reasonable. "Shannon wasn't my mate, but she was the mother of my child. Long before she died, she left me. She left Christopher. And I let her go. I was a young alpha fresh out of the military with a son with health problems. And I let her go. I didn't go after her, because Christopher needed me. He didn't need the resentment of a mother that didn't want to be there. A safe and loving home was what he needed. He still does. I do my best, but seriously, I couldn’t have done half of it without Buck. He’s been there for Chris since before they met. If Buck had a good enough reason, I’d let him take him. Because he loves Chris more than anything in the world and has already proved he’d die before he lets anything happen to him. I might destroy a punching bag or two after he’s gone, at worst, put a few holes in my wall, but I’d never consciously and voluntarily hurt either of them. I would cut off my own hand before I laid a finger on them, especially after everything that has happened. He’s my mate. He and Christopher are the only thing that matters to me. I need them to be okay. I need them to be happy. If somehow that ended up not being with me, fine. It’d just be another fuck up I take with me to my grave. But only because I knew they’d be okay without me. If that was what Evan Buckley wanted, he could have it. I’d give him anything to make him happy. And this, whatever this mess is between you and me, isn’t making him happy. And I can’t have that. So tell me, what can I do to fix this? To at least make it, so he isn’t hurting anymore? What do I need to do?”     

"Eddie. I know you love him, and he loves you. I know you don't actively want to hurt him." Maddie finally says, but she clearly has more to say.

"But?" Eddie tries to not get too anxious at not knowing what stipulation she might add.

"But, I have one request. I need to know that if you have issues, you'll talk to someone, a doctor, a therapist, or someone that can help you. Even if it’s just Bobby or Athena. They’ll know some way to help. You can’t take them out on him or Christopher. I need to know Evan is safe too." 

Eddie huffs. The alpha almost can’t believe it. That was it? That's all she needed from him. He nods. "I can do that. I plan on doing that anyway. So I can promise you that much."

"Okay,” she accepts. The beta lets her shoulders relax and nods. That was easier than she had expected. He wasn’t seeing it as a weakness like many alphas she knew. “I may not like how everything happened, but if you can keep my brother safe and happy, then I am fine with it."

"Really?" Eddie asked. The alpha hopeful they can finally put this behind them. "So we're good?"

"Yes, Eddie. If you're good to my brother, then we won't have a problem. So we're good."

"You aren't going to hit me or anything if I hug you, right?" He asks. She rolls her eyes and hugs him. 

"Tell Evan I'll see him for breakfast tomorrow," she says. "You and Chris are invited too."

"We'll be there," Eddie assures.  

He feels so much lighter as he leaves her place and heads home.

[sortofanobsession]

I’m Begging you to be my Escape - Ch. 10 Epilogue

Author’s Note: Happy Ending Time! Epilogue. Thanks for sticking with me for so long. It might be a bit shorter than I planned, but it just seemed to wrap up so well. Thank you to everyone who commented and kept pushing me to finish this. I needed the encouragement, and I appreciate you all.

Content warning: Fluff, adorable under the cut!

Tag list: diazbuckleysworld, chitownwolf

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8 , Chapter 9

AO3

Chapter 10: So were you (Epilogue)

“Surprise!” Everyone shouts as Buck walks through the doorway. 

The omega lets out a shocked laugh as he takes in the scene he’d just walked into. 

It was his house, but in the few hours he’d been out with Maddie, it was decorated with streamers and balloons.

“What’s all this?” He looks at Eddie. Eddie gestures to Bobby.

“Congratulations, you’re officially an LA Firefighter,” the alpha prime says as he hands him the official documents stating exactly that. 

“They didn’t even tell me yet,” Buck says.

“We figured it would be more fun this way,” Eddie grins.

“You knew?” Buck looks at his alpha in shock. 

“Uh…” Eddie is suddenly very unsure if this was all the best idea. “It was Chim and Maddie’s idea?” It comes out more as a question.

“Did you just try and throw us under the bus to save your skin because you didn’t tell your mate about something?” Chimney asks.

Maddie laughs at the three of them. “You guys are ridiculous. Congratulations, little brother.“ She hugs him before going over to high-five Christopher.

Athena walked over, and on her hip was an adorable little girl with a head full of bouncing brown curls pulled into pigtails. The little girl making grabby hands at Buck. The omega's smile could rival the sun as he beams at her. 

“Da! Da!” the little girl reaches for the omega. Her tiny fists flex as she makes grabby hands at him.

“Not sure if she excited for you or if it’s the sugar-filled punch her brother snuck her while these fellas weren’t looking, but either way, this hyped-up pup is all yours,” Athena smiles as she hands the little girl to the omega. Buck takes his daughter with ease and kisses her temple. “I’m proud of you, Buckaroo,” Athena says as she squeezes his arm. “You’ll be giving those two heart attacks and not following orders like the best of them in no time.” She gestures to Bobby and Eddie. In an instant, Eddie goes from smoothing a few of his daughter’s loose curls back as she clings to his mate to staring at Athena. His inner alpha now gnawing at him. 

“Yeah, I don’t think they’ve thought this one through all the way,” Hen says over her shoulder. Laughing at the concerned look on Eddie’s face. She pats the alpha on the back hard enough he glares at her. “Don’t worry. At least you’ll be the first one to know when he does something dramatic or stupid. Knowing you two, it’ll be stupid.” 

After the party is over and cleaned up, thanks to Bobby and Athena staying to help with the aftermath. Christopher was picking out something for them all to watch as they put their daughter down for the night.

Buck smiles down at her, brushing the now unbound curls from her face.

“She’ll need a haircut soon,” Eddie says as he steps up beside him.

“I know,” the omega laments. “It’s just so cute when she has those little pigtails.”

“Just wait,” the alpha chuckles quietly, “In no time, she’ll be getting into everything, and everything will end up stuck in those adorable pigtails.” 

“My baby girl? Never,” Buck grins. “She’s too perfect.”

The alpha covers his mouth with his hand to not laugh out loud and wake the sleeping sweetheart. “My omega, I love with all my heart, but you know that’s exactly why she’ll find every possible ounce of trouble she can. She looks at the world with those big doe eyes and is just waiting for someone to set her down so she can find every tiny thing we missed babyproofing like it is her job.”

“Well, now I’m starting to think going to work is a bad idea,” the omega mumbles. 

“Too late now,” Eddie grins. He knows that’s not true. If Buck really wanted to stay home, he could. They’d make it work. But he also knows that his mate isn’t one to sit still for very long. He half drags the omega out of the room. “I know it’s hard to do, but you’ll be glad you did. She has to get used to us not being here every moment of every day. I know it feels like you’re leaving a piece of your heart at home because you kind of are, but it gets easier.”

“Does it?” Buck genuinely asks.

“It does because, honestly, there is nothing better than coming home.”

“And you can’t come home unless you leave first,” the omega admits. 

“Exactly,” the alpha grins.

“And you don’t mind being stuck with me 24/7, even on the job?”

“Oh, I’ll be there to make sure that bleeding omega heart of yours doesn’t send you over the edge without a guide rope.” 

“You love my bleeding heart,” the omega states.

“I love every bit of you,” the alpha admits. “Especially that gorgeous ass of yours in those fitted uniform pants. How will I endure?”

“Smart ass,” Buck laughs.

“No, this was about your ass,” Eddie winks.

“You’re an idiot, but I love you.” The omega can’t help but smile.

“Because I’m your idiot,” the alpha points out. “And I love you too.”