Trisha's Portfolio

All my poetry in one place 🥀www.fluidlanguage.blogspot.com (collaborated)All Rights Reserved

[trishasportfolio]

Wattpad

Started posting my works here, please check it out:

https://www.wattpad.com/user/Dark_Trisha

[trishasportfolio]

Voyeur

There is a dark place, behind everything that would protect you

Filled with a presence that torments you and neglects you

It sits, lying dormant, until it finds a moment

A single moment where you let go, you release

And it pounces, it seizes

It holds on with a grip of a thousand souls

And never lets go

It has taken hold, swallowed you hole

Drained all the blood from your body

You are been left mutilated, your essence diminished

Leaving you uninhabited and so very barren

Now a voyeur to your own death

Learning to embrace the inevitable 

You watch your new face take on the world

With new eyes, completely dead inside

Trisha Hilton

Aug 2018

[trishasportfolio]

Longing

When you know it would be judged

You keep these thoughts to yourself

Hidden away, undercover 

Not ashamed but confused

Wondering how you can satisfy these urges 

Test the waters 

Drown in the fantasy

Can this become a reality?

[trishasportfolio]

GUT

It's amazing how quickly our perception of someone can change. Sometimes it takes minutes, sometimes years but one thing I am certain about - your gut instinct is always right. Listen to that feeling, however small and trivial it may seem. You know what is best for you and without realising it, your subconscious can sort the fakes from the real deal.

[trishasportfolio]

What is best for me

So, I wrote you a letter

Explaining my feelings, just that little bit better

I thought I could leave it at that

But then I had to text, pretending to chat

When all I wanted to know was, HOW DID IT FEEL?

How did it feel to read it, to know the effect you had on me for real?

Did it hurt you or make you cry?

Or did it keep your dead eyes, bone dry?

Did you read it once or maybe twice?

Or did you throw it down, without a second glance?

I need to know, I need to hear it

That you felt some way about it

As I laid my heart bare

Why couldn't you muster the courage to show you care?

If you felt any love for me, you would know

That I ... NEED TO KNOW

The effect I had, giving you that letter

Letting you know the pain you caused, just that little bit clearer

You surely know that silence does not work for me

You have read my work, felt my heart, know my worth

Silence IS MY KILLER, my defeat

And you used it on me, so easily

Did you think you knew what was best for me?

You couldn't let me keep a shred of dignity

Knowing, just for a second, I could hurt you

Just a fraction of the amount you destroyed me

A text was all I needed

To say yes, you hurt me too

Trisha Hilton

July 2018

[wnq-writers]

“To the person that loves me next, I’m sorry if I am broken. I am sorry if I question the love that you give because so many before you have taken my love and thrown it away like common trash. To the person who loves me next. I am sorry if I don’t believe you, like when you tell me I am beautiful. Know, that I have heard these words a million times before and yet here I am still alone. I apologize for the walls that stand 40 feet high, I am sorry that you have to climb them. The people before you took too many pieces of me. The walls? They protect the remaining parts of me. To the person who can love me next, please just love me. As I am. Ignore my flaws, just love me”

— The book she will never write

[poetryportal]

“In deep seas with the big waves you searched your worthiness, here, among the fearful ones that get lost there and lose, you get lost , you lose.”

—

[trishasportfolio]

Bystander

Cold and alone

I lay awake

Scribbling the names

Of all of them, none I can fake

I will hold accountable

Myself above all

However it helps

To see who helped me fall

Deeper into my mistakes

My regrets

Who led me there

Without a care

They took, without concern

They took what they felt they deserved

They took what they felt was theirs

Because I said nothing

I was voiceless

I was empty

From the start, long ago

I was already empty, shallow, gone

So I felt [feel] nothing when others took

I felt nothing when I was tainted

I felt nothing when the last piece of me broke free

It all went spiralling out of control

But I was the innocent bystander

Who watched, observed

But never spoke out

I was that person, to myself

Who saw but never told

Who witnessed but never revealed

Who carried on but never moved on

And look at me now

Still empty and cold

Still shallow and used

Still spoiled

Patricia Hilton

March 2018

[trishasportfolio]

I let him

I cringe at what I was, what I became

How I wallowed in the self pity, let that stain

The beauty that I once contained

The awful reality of it, is that I just love my own suffering

I feed on it, I thrive in the shadows

I am the helpless victim, my heart ultimately hollow

I know the strength within me

If I once was, I can again become

And no one can stop me, not even myself

The ending is far enough to ignore for now

And my minutes are ticking, my valuable time was lost

Lost on a boy who I thought I loved

But it turns out, I have never truly felt loves cut

Because I never learnt to love, only to inflict pain

On myself, on others, on him

All his damage was of my own doing

Because I let him

14/02/2018

Trisha Hilton

[satanstorm]

[toocutetootell]

.

[trishasportfolio]

Fool

"And I hope she'll be a fool - that's the best thing a girl can be in this world, a beautiful little fool' ~ The Great Gatsby, F.Scott Fitzgerald

Another year, another mistake

Another lie and another fake

Another revelation and another heartbreak

You would think I would of known, I could of told

But I was foolish enough to think he had grown

No, no, no, it was all a repeat

A fantastical journey of the same old shit

And here I am, still the one hurt

Still the one left like a piece of dirt

Fool me once, shame on him

But [little girl], fool me twice, shame on me

The only person I have to blame

Is the person feeling just the same

Just the same as when he hurt you before

When you should have glued shut that fucking door

Can I learn now?

I think it's about time.

December 2017

Trisha Hilton

[trishasportfolio]

I want

I want to change, to let go

Find a way to be happy, to grow

I want to believe things can be better

And yet I am the same, down to the last letter

The same crazy, selfish person

Yet I want to be stronger

I want to care, to trust, to love

But I cannot live like this much longer

How can I take the next step?

How can I make myself see the light?

How can I be the person I long to be?

How can I handle another one of these nights?

My nights, filled with tears and nightmares, wild thoughts, and rants

When will I be free of it all, when will I not be so broken?

I want to not care so much, I want give up

I want to run so far, to give out the pain I feel

I want it all, yet none of it

I am the most confused I have ever been

Far from anything I have ever seen

I am a shell of myself, I really am lost

By Trisha Hilton

[sweet-thoughtt]

[trishasportfolio]

Story of my life 🖤

[purpleshield1548-deactivated202]

[trishasportfolio]

The One.

When you are lost to them, they fight

Say all the things you long to hear and beg to hold you tight

Tell you they cannot live without the smell of your hair, your skin

Dream of you day and night, wearing you down for the win

Your guard is strong and your worth is high

A drug to them, something they will do anything to deny

Then slowly, you allow them the chance, you feed their addiction

But instead of it growing stronger, roots burying deeper

You start to realise, your barrier was your trophy and your love now your weakness

And you are losing them with every small and tender kiss

Do they grow bored? Or bored without a fight?

Did they truly love you or were you ultimately right?

That love is something of a game to some, small victories to none

A battlefield of emotions where to win, there will only be just one.

By Trisha Hilton