cel @trmnlcrrsn - Tumblr Blog

ive lost most if not all of my personality and interests and im a shell of my former self i dont even want to spend time around my friends anymore and my bones are going to collapse in on themselves and i cant even be skinny either im a fatfucking chud now im gonna be stuck with this bloated beer belly forever because my fat wont redistribute properly and the moment i got back home i just started eating eveyrthing in sight which is making everything worse and the moment i regain control of myself ill probably regress back to Restricting or at least trying but now the stupid Binge restrict cycle is gonna fucking GET ME and im fucked Forever. basically

#I NEED TO KILL MYSELF #what is WRONG with me #fuuuckfdjoewr045938946etuyrigdjfkvlc ;#i keep on eating fruit. and also nuts. i think the nuts are evil. i think the fruit is in large enough quantities that it is also evil #ive been eating so much fucking carbs and not nearly as much protein and like 500 times more fats (cooked food lol #so im Fucked . yejah #loss of control really rearing its ugly head #i think being given ''''permission'''' to eat whatever i want is What i wanted. But now i am abusing that

i feel like im binging lowk but i Cant stop microdosing on slop fuuck im going to kill myself 500000 CALORIE SURPLUS Dude . like i should gain weight but i dont want to do it That fast but Unfortunately i like earting food . i think i should kill myself. Fuck

#fuuck #what do i do #Why couldnt i just be normal fromthe start bruh

im lowkey doubling my daily caloric intake and i think bad things are happening to me

#fruit and veggies calorie surplus bro #i dont have enough proteinslop riht mow so im carbmaxxing through fruit and i think im gonna die #fuck why am i a fat chud #im eating dis order bro

TEN PERCENT BODY FAAATTTTTT

#RAAAAAGGGH #Im evil

twitches

#mmaybe im not disordered enough #maybe im Too Norma l #ffuuuck i cant give up just like this

trying To be normal and Well adjusted about food And not track calories Alas i will eat infinite Slop and also i shjouldve eased into either eating at home Or not tracking/intuitice eating Fuck my life

#the lion doesnt concern itself with FEeling like a fat fucking chud #probably a shit ton of just water retention + volume but also i feel Evil. habitually

maybe i Am sick of lowk starving myself

#the deficit gets to a point man

i feel likeive already eayen too much i shouldve just thrown everything out or eaten it sooner im evil. sick and twisted.

crippling body dysmorphia versus my newfound enjoyment of walking around shirtless

#i feel free #i probably cant do this at home so gotta enjoy it while it lasts #FUUUUUCKKKKKKKK I HAVE TO LIVE IWTH OTHER PEOPLE AGAIN!!!! FUUUUCKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#ill KILL MYSELF #what id do to live alone And have Easy access to a kitchen. thats the dream

furikake is like if everything but the bagel seasoning was good

#maybe i cant say that #seasoning vs Seasoning Japan #maybe i should try mixing the two

sniffed my milk and it smelled sour. poured some out and confirmed what i already knew. still drank over half a cup of it. at least i think ive figured out how to make ginger milk pudding in the microwave

#im going to be shot dead sometime between tonight and tomorrow #Anyways. what the hell do i eat tomorrow.... Ponder #i should defrost ts fish

i Did not think rice noodles would expand that much holy fuck im never cooking that much ever again . Wtf

#guy feels even more obligated to finish everything on their plate bc its already tracked #should i just log it as like 1/2 or 2/3 of wtv i cooked and then give up #jesus christ #im so fucking full . What do i even do with myself now

bony ass chest pissing me off bruh

#onereptofailure

#im sofucking tired im gonna fall asleep in the gym at this rate

oat mealj

#yummmy #pro tip put fruit (and or nuts) in oats before nuking them to soften... hashtag My mush #and then afterwards add in some fresh ones. textural difference #i genuinely love mush so much i think bad things are happening to me

i wonder if the poeople around me are seeing me wasting away or wtv. lol

#idk if theres any noticeable change #although if you think abt the raw numbers . going from 100ish to mid 80s is insane work #hmmm #ive been fat and bloated lately i htink im gaining fat and losing muscle Or the water retention demon. hmmmmmm #i want a shower

bored and had oatmeal after dinner. now im big and round (Greatest shit coming to toilet near you soon) but it was a really enriching experience. i think im rediscovering the joys of living or something

#my slop.... yuuummyy #i havent been honoring the 'no eating after 8pm' rule at all lately but tbh like . Who cares. im Normal. im so normal guy #hhhmmmmmmmm.#it was really good slop. i added applesauce and i think that was a good choice. tentatively adding applesauce to Foods i can Consume #within my carb limit of course. Lately i havent been carbmaxxing as much (Way too much fuckijng protein because i meatmaxx and then dairyma #See. Balance. im Normal #i think i want to buy oragnes

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

cel