it's alright kiddo. every Kylar is personalized anyway.
then again, i share your pain of seeing things that don't align with your mind.. but i have some amount of faith that we'd be more similar than others, maybe.. ah whatever, tolerance and acceptance is also a skill, silly girl..
*sigh* there was one bukkake image i liked very much that is now lost to time because i deleted it from my pc out of shame.. it must live on in my heart..
this is actually horrific right? we can all agree about that?
I'd never thought I needed to be paranoid about the fact that photos I share on social media might be turned into memes in a discord run by JuicyBigNut but that's what existing in a public space as a black person is like! not to mention the fact that they don't even know who the man in the picture, yet we know who first spread it and no one has beaten that guy to death yet
if anyone can spare 70 dollars or literally any fraction of that so I can get my meds and also have clean clothes to wear I'd really appreciate it if you could cashapp me please
Onimai: Fetish, Transgenderism And How They Are Inseparable.
Onimai is a story of an adult man getting the chance to relive his life as a girl from middle school onward. The thing is, she still has all the memories and experience that being a 20 something year old shut in erotic gamer would give you, and is constantly aware of the mental gap between her and her new friends. The catch? Aside from small things like knowing about media from before her time, that mental gap is entirely fabricated. From the moment Mahiro wakes up one morning as a middle school girl, she is wholly and truly a middle school girl. She shares the mannerisms, the speech, the interests, everything about her is that of a girl her age.
"This is such a wonderful premise, its such a shame it had to be ruined by fan service and fetish." Is something you will hear a lot about this series. I don't agree. Onimai could never possibly be what it is without The Author's Barely Disguised Fetish blessing the story at every turn. To be transgender is to tear yourself apart from the inside. To slowly pick yourself out atom by atom and discover who you really are. Maybe some don't want to admit it, but your fetishes are the exact same, and essential to discovering who you are.
When I was a toddler I wanted to be a girl. I didn't know what "being transgender" was. I kept it to myself. I wish I didn't.
When I was a toddler we had a leapfrog tablet. If you're around my age you probably know the type. My brothers had things like Neopets, and I don't remember what else, but i had a Disney princess game. Granted, I was too young to remember even playing it, but I do remember I loved it. When we visited family friends i would dress up as princesses with the girls. I would dream about being a mermaid, about getting to wear a girls one piece swimsuit at the water park. Then one day, I stopped.
I think around that time was when it really set in for me that I was a "boy". I tried to shift my interests away, I liked power rangers instead, I watched my brothers play video games, I got a "Dude Diary" at my elementary school's book fair. It never fully left me, though. I once thought pink was the "manliest" color, because only a real man could be unashamed about liking it. In second grade I became secretly obsessed with tinker bell. I remember only eating strawberry Pop-tarts because it had her and her friends' colors. In middle school I got addicted to Sailor Moon and My Little Pony. They were my "guilty pleasures"
In middle school I was ashamed of myself for watching porn. I hated myself, so I cut into my thighs with a swiss army knife to remind myself of how disgusting I thought I was. I tried to open up about it to my friend group at the time, but only one even heard my cry for help. It didn't go well, and we had a big fight. I repressed myself sexually and emotionally for a long time afterwards.
I realized I was trans in my sophomore year of high school. I started transitioning medically just before my senior year. Early for many, yes. It could never have been early enough for me. I will never get all those years spent fooling myself into thinking I was someone I'm not back. I will never again be the person I was when I dressed up as princesses and dreamed of swimsuits. I've changed too much. Maybe my mind and my body grew up, but in my heart I'm still still stuck as that 2nd grader only eating strawberry pop tarts because she secretly wanted to be a fairy. In my heart I'm still in 7th grade, digging as deep into my thigh as my 12 year old arms could push a tiny little swiss army knife. I grew up, but I was left behind.
When I was around 15 I downloaded twitter, and found myself in the furry community. I got to try out a new name, a new gender, with no scrutiny. I made friends who helped me finally come to terms with myself sexually. I met my first girlfriend, who's been with me after all these years. I got groomed, as any 15 year old in the furry community is going to be. It wasn't until me and my girlfriend distanced ourselves from that space that we started to truly explore who we were. We became dependent on each other, and if one of us would get into something the other would soon follow. We got into knife-play, into blood-play, into incest role-play. Eventually, unconsciously, we stopped seeing ourselves as adults in these scenarios. We were kids. A big sister giddily helping her little sister learn what it is to be a girl, and to be loved by one. I didn't think I had a reason for these seemingly random kinks until recently, but when I finally wrote it all out I think it's pretty clear why.
In my heart I am an 11 year old girl. I'm trying to understand who I am. I'm trying to grow up, to catch up with the me that left me behind. I need help from a maternal figure, a big sister who will always be with me and coddle me and keep me safe. Maybe the things she does with me are immoral but she loves me, and I need that. I'm finally reclaiming the person I was back then, even if just in pieces. Sure, it's all laced in kink and fetish and I see myself as a loli and identify with lolicon art. If it wasn't I never would have gotten anywhere. There would be no outlet to explore what I missed. It's why I identify with Mahiro. It's why I could never see Onimai's fetish content as anything other than essential.
Maybe my story is too specific to me. Maybe it's not something any other trans girl can relate to. I think it is though. To be trans is to discover yourself is to discover your kinks is to discover yourself is to be trans. There is no such thing as a "problematic" kink. I can be a loli and look at loli art and appreciate the way Mahiro is fetishized because that's what I want to be. It helps me come to terms with who I am, and was, and will be. There's nothing wrong with me, or with Nekotoufu or anyone who enjoys anything about this series. Maybe after all I've said you still don't like it, but that's okay. I do, and I know I'm not the only one.
HELP THREE BROKE TRANSFEMS MOVE OUT OF DANGEROUS LIVING CONDITIONS!!!
hiya, its me. renowned disabled transfem from tumblr. our apartment conditions were not great to start with and now theyre even worse, with nonfunctioning AC in 110 degree weather, a fridge that won't keep things cold, and all manner of pests and filth from past people living here that is unremovable without significant financial support.
WE DESPERATELY NEED TO MOVE OUT BEFORE OUR CONTRACT RENEWS IN OCTOBER!!!!
so starting now, im collecting funds to support us packing up and getting a different apartment, where we can live cleaner and healthier with a fresh start.
if i talk to our landlords about any of this, they'll just try to kick us out again.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH WE NEED but apartments usually ask for a deposit, and a couple months of rent on top of that so im setting our goal at 3000 usd. thats more than ive ever asked before but its necessary for our survival and i can't put it off anymore.
$0/3000
ca$happ venmo
and dm me for my paypal if you would like to help.
romaincrisis
amandla
s-u-f-j-a-n-s-t-e-v-e-n-s
tangentwithtanner
dailybridgerton
gracieabrams
