do not die or spread falsehoods in my askbox

9+ sweeps| jade | virrius | sylph of hope | stop fucking dying please | matesprit is @evan-the-human | moirail is @unicorn_auxiliatrix

[troll-medicull-advice]

please send me asks because if i do not get them i will start posting actual slop and you're just going to have to deal with that 🚮

[troll-medicull-advice]

two new followers. hi 👋

[troll-medicull-advice]

mye stomach hurts reallye bad. like not a regular stomach cramp. and i puke whever i do manage to eat :(

drink small amounts of water and have something that's easy to digest. like one (1) slice of bread 🍞

you should probably call your local medicull office if this is unusual for you. but that's the advice i usually hear thrown around 🏥

[troll-medicull-advice]

never gonna answer these anons btw 🙂‍↔️

they're my comfort asks 😊

[troll-medicull-advice]

this little shrike is gonna NEED some medigull advice swoon if she doesn't stop hate-wing on birds and verb-gully PULL-WING MY FLOCKING FEATHERS!!!!!!!!

-- >}>

anon if you need to vent I'm here. but I don't think threatening some rando in some lady's askbox is the right course of action here just fyi 😐

[troll-medicull-advice]

1'm fuck1ng slpshed, had too mamy jello dhots. how fe fubk do 1 appear not 1ntox1cated? pleade my sh1ft starys 1n two hours

Say you puked and call in sick. You're in this for the long haul. But that's on you for having jello shots that close to your shift. 🍾

[troll-medicull-advice]

the last kitten that we have yet to give away has made her way to the armchair that we have yet to give away. 🐈

don't you do it mister 😡

[badly-drawn-conn1e]

i have a freshly pupated troll that needs a lusus. hmu?

[troll-medicull-advice]

yooooo are they close enough to jade that the kitten will bond well. or do you think it really matters that much? 🐾

[troll-medicull-advice]

sooo uh. i may have gooot a booottle stuck ooon my hand. cuz i was trying tooo use my fries too scrape the rest ooof the ketchup ooout ooof the booottle. my hand is looosing circulatiooon. please help

smash the bottle if it's glass, or cut it with scissors if it's plastic. minor lacerations and cleanup are to be expected. 💥

[heavenly-abberation]

I wOnder what it's like havinG a lusus.

[troll-medicull-advice]

how??? do you not have a lusus??? i got a lusus! it came free with my not being an orphan??? you gotta get outta there 😭

[troll-medicull-advice]

the last kitten that we have yet to give away has made her way to the armchair that we have yet to give away. 🐈

don't you do it mister 😡

[troll-medicull-advice]

i managed to shoo him away while my moirail lured him with canned finbeast. crisis averted. 🐟

[troll-medicull-advice]

the last kitten that we have yet to give away has made her way to the armchair that we have yet to give away. 🐈

don't you do it mister 😡

[troll-medicull-advice]

ooc but when i edit lusii, i use a desaturation tool to remove all the color. works best on lighter animals though i fear

ooc thanks for telling me! i used a stock photo of a white cat and used the hue function to change the cat's non-fur features from pinkish to green but that sounds way more convenient tho lol

[carwols-critters]

(@troll-medicull-advice)

my lusus is a meowbeast kinda. i can send a picture if you want 🐈

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE! I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING LUSII!

[troll-medicull-advice]

she's a lot bigger than the photo makes her look but here you go 😊

[troll-medicull-advice]

just realized her antennae are retracted. she's mad at me for something I should go try to calm her down 😬

[carwols-critters]

(@troll-medicull-advice)

my lusus is a meowbeast kinda. i can send a picture if you want 🐈

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE! I ALWAYS LOVE SEEING LUSII!

[troll-medicull-advice]

she's a lot bigger than the photo makes her look but here you go 😊

[heavenly-abberation]

I wish I were allOwed to listen tO musiC.

Other trOlls have favOrite sOnGs. What am I suppOsed tO say if sOmeOne asks me mine?

[grumblrs-confessional-booth]

whyarentyou allowedtolisten ???

[heavenly-abberation]

The MatriarCh says musiC Only exists tO distraCt frOm Our wOrk servinG the MOther Grub.

I think that's a little silly, but arGuinG wOuld be... a bad idea.

[grubztomper4000]

WOWW YOUR PART OF THE CAVERNZ ZUCK AZZZZ

U NEED TO GROW A ZPINE THO

[heavenly-abberation]

GrOw a spine sO they'll have sOmethinG else tO break if I talk baCk? NO thank yOu.

[troll-medicull-advice]

dude can't you like. request a transfer or something I think you rolled the worst ever matriarch. 😬

[troll-medicull-advice]

ok so ! just unhooked th!s dude from the helm and turns out hes been there for so long h!s legs atroph!ed to the po!nt that theres no muscle there. at all. would he ever be able to walk aga!n or am ! g!v!ng both h!m and myself false hope? hate that th!s ask !s so heavy but sh!ts bad and ! need a profess!onal op!n!on

he's gonna need a wheelchair. he will never be able to walk again. you need muscles for that sorry. 🚫

[ardentassimilation]

0h g0d. 0kay. Any0ne wh0 understands c0mplex first-aid, please c0ntact me immediately. I have a few questi0ns.

[troll-medicull-advice]

Ask away. 🏥