nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week
Happy 30-50 feral hogs day
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#extradirty
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One Nice Bug Per Day
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
noise dept.
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🩵 avery cochrane 🩵

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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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izzy's playlists!

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@tronasaurus
nothing will ever be funnier to me than the 30-50 feral hogs joke phase, I think about it at least once a week
Happy 30-50 feral hogs day
World heritage post
Well, well, well. If it isn't the consequences of someone else's actions that I am directly impacted and severely affected by
The new Odyssey adaptation has inevitably gotten people talking about a Muppet version of it, and they’re frequently suggesting Kermit as Odysseus, Miss Piggy as Penelope.
I’m sorry but that’s thinking way too small, hear me out:
We need to have Miss Piggy as Odysseus, and Kermit as Penelope.
Think about it… who’s the more fickle, prideful, warlike one in that relationship? Who is absolutely ready to go ham, at a moment’s notice?
It ain’t Kermit
Miss Piggy tied to the mast while Statler and Waldorf heckle her from the sea
But who is the single human cast member in this tale? Who gets to put in an Oscar-worthy performance alongside the Muppets and what role are they to play?
There’s no single human, everyone is a Muppet except for one scene. Circe, played by Janice, turns Odysseus’s crew into humans who still behave animalistic and are all played by Academy Award winning actors.
There are no sex scenes, and all the food looks horrible.
still upset anyagiles wasn’t endgame. devastated, even. one I think he would treat her better than xander ever did. two giles absolutely lays pipe better than xander EVER did. three someone makes a may/december snide remark about anya and giles and she SNAPS at them like “god forbid you let a demon have fun with a boytoy a couple hundred years her junior”
she just has so many issues wrt getting older, but with giles she tells him during pillow talk like “I’m glad you’re going to be senile and die way before i go thru menopause and my pussy gets dry” (affectionate) and he’s like “????? thanks. also I know a spell for magic lube”
✧・゚:* Jack Robinson being a lil bit slutty *:・゚✧
i made a post like this before but I can't find it now. so. I'll just redo it.
What's the first "big news story" you remember from when you were a kid?
It's something I love to ask mixed-aged groups sometimes because I think it's really interesting to see the responses. I've gotten answers from the Olympics of [whatever year] to Watergate to more recent stuff from my niblings.
My first news thing I remember is the OJ Simpson trial. I vaguely remember watching the news with my grandparents before that, but that's the first story I remember, in part because my second grade teacher had us go play so she could watch the verdict 😂
please read this even if you're not indian. especially if you're not indian.
you've seen the jokes. india is "dirty", indians are "everywhere", why don't they fix their own country. ok. let me tell you why, and what's happening right now while nobody's watching.
first, the history you skipped: britain ruled india for two centuries and drained it. economist utsa patnaik's research estimates around $45 trillion in today's money was taken. the india that got independence in 1947 was one of the poorest countries on earth. every "why is india like this" question starts there. you don't get to profit off a robbery and then mock the crime scene.
now, what's happening RIGHT NOW:
in may the question paper for NEET leaked. that's the national medical entrance exam. over 2.2 million students took it. cancelled. years of studying, families' savings poured into coaching, gone overnight because someone sold the paper. students died by suicide after. these were kids who wanted to be doctors.
and out of that came a protest movement. a gen z group called the cockroach janta party, started by a 30 year old named abhijeet dipke, got 22 million instagram followers within DAYS. they've been doing a sit-in at jantar mantar in delhi demanding education minister dharmendra pradhan resign.
and then there's sonam wangchuk. if you've watched 3 idiots, he's the real engineer the character was based on. built solar schools in ladakh. invented ice stupas so himalayan villages have water. spent his whole life on education. he's 59 and he's been on hunger strike for 17+ days now. reporters went to see him this week and he was too weak to talk. and the troll armies are calling him "anti national" and "foreign funded". a man starving himself for other people's children. that's the thing here, anyone who asks a question is suddenly a traitor.
it's not one incident, it's everywhere you look:
• infrastructure worth thousands of crores failing within months of the ribbon cutting. tunnels collapsing in regions where heavy rain is a guarantee, not a surprise.
• youth unemployment near 10% for ages 15 to 29, 13.6% in cities. in a country of 1.42 billion where more than half the population is young.
• only about the top 3% of indians earn above 10 lakh a year. meanwhile billionaire wealth keeps ballooning and the headlines celebrate it.
• manipur burned for over two years. an ethnic conflict, tens of thousands displaced, and the prime minister barely said the word manipur while it happened.
• journalists raided. critics' houses bulldozed. activists sitting in jail for years without trial under laws like UAPA. our press freedom ranking has cratered.
• even the petrol is a fight now, ethanol blending pushed through while drivers complain about their engines and get no straight answers.
and through all of it, the PM, who came to power on religious polarisation (americans, sound familiar?), travels abroad for photo ops and has not held one single open press conference in over a decade. not one.
what i'm asking:
if you're not indian: share this. our media mostly won't cover any of it because the big outlets are owned by the same billionaires the government serves. the only reason wangchuk's fast is getting any coverage is people refusing to look away.
if you ARE indian: speak up even if you're comfortable. especially if you're comfortable. join the protests. add to this, correct me, translate it. staying quiet is a choice when nothing in this post touches your life.
india is not "dirty". india was robbed, and it's being robbed again, from the inside this time. but it's also the country where a 59 year old will starve for strangers' kids and 22 million young people will rally behind a party literally named after cockroaches, because cockroaches survive everything.
we can still save her. but only loudly.
reblog. share. don't scroll past.
loving the lord of the rings so far
My flu isn't all that bad, but I had a super weird flu dream about a world where if you died and your body hadn't been found yet, all your online accounts would keep posting in a mildly annoyed tone from the pov of the corpse. None of the posts were creepy, just stuff like "Stuck laying facedown in my bed forever #mybedforever," and because it happened somewhat regularly it was all treated pretty normally, some kind of “the spirit hasn’t moved on yet” schtick. And it'd be a little tragic to find out grandma died from her facebook post "the cat is sniffing my face... he can tell I'm not breathing but is so very polite and not eating me yet... 🤣🐈😿" but it'd kind of be last words in a way and at least more personal than hearing she died over the phone from some coroner.
The main awkward thing was sometimes the person behind a big tumblr would die and their tumblr would start corpse posting, but none of their mutuals know them irl to recover the body, so you're all stuck waiting as days pass and their account keeps corpse posting, with the knowledge that nobody from real life has checked on them, and that when someone eventually does they'll find a decaying corpse
“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted
#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)
holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later
A 2025 update
I would like to say as an editor that when I edit someone's work I am not thinking, "WOW what an idiot this person is, can't construct a sentence to save their life!!"
What I am thinking is, "does this mean what the author intends it to mean, and if not, how can we adjust it so it does?" and also usually, "wow I'm so glad I get to read this, what a privilege it is to help people say exactly what they mean to say."
I think a lot of people get frightened by the prospect of editing and I won't pretend there aren't some editors who come at the task with a suboptimal attitude but a good editor just wants to help. They want the piece to mean exactly what you intended it to mean when they're done. They do not, if they are worth their asking rate, want to scold you for being a bad writer. They do want to make you a better one. It is a helping profession.
i just know there was a weird little girl in the middle ages out there stealing snake's eggs and putting them in her family's chicken coop in the hope of hatching a basilisk
god i love the internet because if i said shit like this to people irl they'd probably just stare at me blankly but when i post it online everyone in the notes reacts like this
I woke up really early the other morning and filmed the rain.
I can just let this run all day
this heatwave fucking sucks how am I going to serve my liege like this
im never leaving this hellsite
i swear if this is the second stupid sword picture post i make that gets to 10k i'll just go kill someone
FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!
using "what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament" to mean "yeah i made an embarrassing reference but you understood it which is also embarrassing" is very funny to me
my favorite part is that absolutely nobody says this except here. so if you use it in public, it's a dead giveaway that you spent the last ten years on tumblr. but then again, they recognized it, which means they were at the devil's sacrament
I tested this theory in the wild the other day at work. I was on a call with my department lead and a few other folks and I replied to an email the DL had sent me, thinking that, because he was on this call, he wouldn't notice when I sent it and would not catch me multitasking.
However, he replied to said email within five minutes, asking a question that required an answer. So I answered and was like "Also, I was going to apologize for answering emails during this call, but I see we're both here at the Devil's Sacrament, so I don't think an apology is necessary."
I watched him read that on screen and try not to laugh. And then at the end of the call as everyone started saying goodbye, he goes, "Hey, MJ, I meant to tell you. I like your shoelaces."
And I looked straight into my camera, stone cold serious, and said, "Thanks. I stole them from the president."
And the rest of the team was like, "What...the fuck...?" before he abruptly ended the call for everyone.
So now my DL and I know this about each other. He could be any one of us.
At a certain point, the appropriate response to "What were you doing at the devil's sacrament" becomes "stealing shoelaces from the president."
Reblog if you were stealing shoelaces from the President