Does Mothman Sit In The Woods

A cryptid drive in and three chaotic boys; what mischief will they get into? - Main is @shut-up-its-funny

[shut-up-its-funny]

For Remrom Week Day Five.

I decided to write a little thing for my Remromality ask blog au! @troublesome-trio-au

Waking Up With... A Third.

Remus starts to drift from sleep, he's warm, he's comfortable and most importantly he's snuggled up to his love.

All is good and right in Remus' world.

He snuggles in closer to Roman, burrowing his face into Roman's side and squeezing him closer.

Except... this is different than usual he notices.

The torso he's clutching on to is thicker, squishier, hairier.

Remus feels his way around this different torso - his fingers trace over the scars that are scattered around, the pudgy yet muscular tummy, those pecks Jesus Titty Fucking Christ.

And then his hand meets another hand - a familiar hand.

Ah, right - now he remembers yesterday.

His eyes shoot wide open, fully awake now.

He roves his eyes over the torso he was just fondling, then up to the sleeping face of Patton.

"Damn" he whispers appreciatively.

"I know right?" A voice whispers back on the other side of Patton.

Remus locks eyes with his twin and wiggles his eyebrows lasciviously.

Roman laughs softly.

"How the hell did we bag this bear of a man" Remus whispers, "like holy shit bro, we've been here for what? a few months?."

"I mean, have you seen us? Anyone would want this, we're great" Roman cheekily whispers back.

Remus snickers, "you're so fucking right."

"Of course I am, I'm me."

Remus pets Patton's belly, his voice is almost inaudible when he speaks, "I hope this lasts."

Roman interlocks thier fingers together, "me too, I really like him."

Remus nods, "he's sweet as fuck and so is his dic-"

Before he can finish that sentence Patton snorts out a laugh.

Remus gasps, "you were awake! eavesdropping on our conversation!"

"You're a dropper of eaves!" Roman gasps out as well.

"We trusted you" Remus continues, the playful tone of being scandalized thick in his words.

"It's not eavesdropping when you're literally right on top of me" Patton points out.

"You could have continued to be asleep" Remus says.

"I couldn't keep it in! You were so close to being touching" Patton giggles.

"I'll show you touching" Remus murmurs.

Patton snorts again, he wraps his big arms around the twins crushing them to his chest.

"Ooooh yes" Remus' playful moan is muffled in Patton, "thas the goo tuff."

Patton places a kiss on the top of both of thier heads, "I like you guys too."

Roman sinks into Patton's hold - he sighs with contentment.

No, everything is not good in Remus' world.

It's perfect.

[troublesome-trio-au]

More machine than man you say? Well how much is still man and how much is.... Robotic *enhancements* 😏 if you catch my drift.

Janus can't help the pastry that falls out of her mouth when she laughs "Hah! Oh my, yes please do tell Logan~" she purrs, it's not clear if she's flirting or teasing.

Logan clears his throat "I'm going to disregard your"- he stops what he's saying, looking off into nothing as his one indigo robotic eye flashes white a few times -"thirst, and answer this seriously. I have my original brain, around 40% of my epidermis, my right eye and my hair, most of my insides are also human except my heart and some bones. Everything else is artificial."

Janus raises an eyebrow "everything else?."

"I am not deining that with an answer."

Patton snickers.

[troublesome-trio-au]

Oh so you're a newly formed werewolf!? That's cool!

"Nope!" Patton says confidently, he's definitely not lying this time.

"Anyone would come to such a conclusion with the context clues that have been said, so good guess" Logan adds.

"Hmm? Oh yes clearly" she now has none of her snake features, she crosses a leg over the other as she leans against a wall "completely human."

Patton snickers "you just love to mess with people."

Janus smiles "it's one of life's little pleasures."

"It can get quite... bothersome sometimes" Logan says.

Janus waves a hand "oh you love me, don't deny it."

Logan turns his head away but you can see a little blush forming.

[troublesome-trio-au]

Incident? Incident??? What kind of incident are we talking???? :O

🍋

"Why did you have to bring that uuuuuuuup" Patton whines.

"I didn't think it was such a big deal, it happened soooo long ago."

Patton looks at Janus like he's not sure if she's messing with him or not "it was only a little over a year ago" he pouts.

Janus stiffens, her eyes moving around in thought "oh, right I knew that."

"You weren't even here yet when it happend" Logan points out.

"But I've heard about it, and they still came in for check ups when I did get here."

"It doesn't matter" Patton interjects "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Patton" Logan says, his voice is commanding but soft "I understand that the events of that night are not exactly pleasant for you to bring up, but I assure you no one will think any lesser of you."

"I... I'm just scared. No one else knows about it other than the six of us..."

"Oh yes, because people will absolutely come at you with torches and pitchforks to murder and or run you out of town for a simple animalistic takeover."

They both stare at Janus.

Patton's eyes are wide, the fear in his eyes are palpable.

"You are not helping" Logan says sternly.

Patton sighs "all you have to know is that... I wasn't able to control myself and accidentally hurt both Remus and Roman in the same swipe."

His face gets a little brighter as he adds "but since then I've been able to work on... me and I'm able to control it a whole lot better!"

[troublesome-trio-au]

"I am human?" Patton says but it comes out like a question "I - I mean o-of course I am."

Janus and Logan share a look.

"Darling, you really aren't good at lying, I don't know why you keep trying" Janus comments.

Patton lolls his head back "I knooooow, I just don't want people to be afraid."

"I doubt anyone would be afraid of you if they know you" Logan supplies.

Patton looks uncertain "I guess so... but I haven't had very good reactions in the past."

"Your weird little boyfriends seem to very much not mind" Janus says - then adds "even after that incident."

Patton face scrunches up with discomfort.

Logan spares Patton having to respond any more and answers for himself.

"I am, partially human. I'm a cyborg, so I was born human and through many... instances in my life have needed to get cybernetic enhancements. Though at this very moment I'm more machine than man."

He looks to Janus, Janus doesn't pay any mind to his staring.

"The question is also for you."

"Oh, is it? I haven't noticed."

"I find that hard to believe."

"Mm, not my problem. But I suppose I can answer it as well."

She gestures to herself, the scales lining half her face, the snake eye and then down to where legs should be but is instead a body of a snake.

She smiles wide and there you see fangs "clearly I'm also human."

[troublesome-trio-au]

Patton continues into the clearing, before heading in to see Logan he usually goes in to the house and see how everyone is doing and if they need anything.

But today he goes directly to Logans, he doesn't want to disturb anyone's privacy afterall!

"Heya Lo!" Patton greets as he walks in; the little bell above the door chimes with him.

We see the back of a man wearing a doctors jacket, he's hunched over a table very concentrated on his task, he doesn't seem to notice Patton came in.

Patton tilts his head and walks to Logan, he peers over his shoulder and whispers "whaaaat chaa dooing?"

Logan startles a little at the sudden voice next to his ear

"Oh, Patton" he looks to Patton, he also looks tired "when did you get here?"

"Just a second ago, you look really tired."

Logan rubs his eye, pushing his glasses up with the action "I'm fin-" he starts but a voice cuts him off.

"He's been up for a few nights trying to figure out the components of my venom."

Patton looks to a doorway and sees Janus slithering out of it "hey Jan!"

"Well if you told me what was in it I wouldn't have to" Logan says frustrated.

Janus looks at her nails "I would if I could Dollface."

"Don't call me that" Logan deadpans "besides I don't think you're being fully truthful to me about that."

Janus just shrugs.

"Aaaanyways" Patton claps his hands together "I brought snacks!"

"Oh dear sweet Patton" Janus says snatching up the bag "always feeding and looking after me and the poor doctor."

"Aw well, if I didn't bring over food you know Lo won't remember to eat and then he'll just starve!"

"Mmm, ain't that the truth" Janus agrees while taking out an egg tart.

"That's quite dramatic, I don't need to eat as much as you two do."

"Well that is true, you still need it, when was the last time you did?"

Logan opens his mouth, then closes it.

Patton looks to Janus, she again just shrugs; the tart halfway in her mouth.

"Okay well break time!" Patton announces.

Logan sighs "fine, you are correct I do need to take care of myself now."

[troublesome-trio-au]

He stops in his tracks, flabbergasted at your theories.

"What?!" He shakes his head vigorously "no no no nothing like that!"

He sighs "it's just... weird is all cause every time we make an election either no one runs against the current ruler or no one votes for the competition. I don't know or understand why; the only way we have a change in charge is when the current one dies or retires... or goes missing."

His face scrunches up "I sure hope it's none of those things you mentioned..."

[troublesome-trio-au]

He laughs a little nervously, his hand rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"Well, I kinda own a lot of the town actually - I don't really like to talk about it cause I don't care much for the attention."

He's walking over to the sanctuary, not making eye contact with the camera, he's biting at his lips.

"But my family kinda founded the town, and politics don't exactly work the same here as it does most everywhere else, I wouldn't call ourselves royalty or anything... we do always have elections to switch out mayors and stuff but it always ends up with someone from my family up there anyway, so we've been in charge since the founding."

He's a little uncomfortable with this conversation, so he switches it for another ask.

He perks up at this question his eyes get wide and excited, this sanctuary was his first baby!

"Yeah!! It started out as that house!" He points to a three story brick house, it looks old and very sturdy.

"I found it in a very dilapidated state, it only had one floor and I build it up myself!" He's very proud of himself.

"The house started out as just a place for cryptids and creatures of all kinds to come and unwind or hide out for whatever reason! No questions asked, it's a place for everyone to be safe at! And it still serves this purpose, and more!"

He turns to look at the slightly newer looking structure attached to the boarding house.

"Until Logan got here!" He exclaims "they may clash in aesthetics but this is not only Logans home but also his lab and the hospital area!"

He laughs a little "I'm kinda embarrassed to say I didn't think of adding that until Logan showed up."

He then turns his attention to the shimmering cage like fence area.

"That is the area where the beings that have to stay outside are, the fenced area isn't a cage, it's just like that to protect the ones inside, they can leave easily if they wanted to!"

[troublesome-trio-au]

Saturday you have to go in early? How many creatures are out during the day?

Remus screeches to a stop in their parking spot at the theater.

It's early noon and the theater opens at 12:30.

"Ah, more than you think, there are day dwelling creatures, but the first movie doesn't really start until six tonight" Roman explains.

"Yeeeeeeah, we do however open suuuuper early on Saturday because we're kinda the most bumpin' hang spot in town" Remus adds hip bumping Roman as they're walking to open the gates and get the lot open for the day crowd.

"And there are still some humans and half humans that live around here" Roman adds.

[troublesome-trio-au]

How far is the sanctuary from your house?

Patton has cleaned up the kitchen of the mornings mess, Remus and Roman have already left and Patton is on his way out.

He locks the door and walks down a stone spattered pathway.

"Oh! Well actually cause it's my sanctuary it's on my property!"

He points to the treeline that he's headed towards.

"It's just down the hill here, hope you're ready for a small hike" he chuckles.

There's a winding stone stair way, it looks self made and choppy but very nice, it looks as though the rock belongs there between the trees.

He walks down effortlessly, it takes a handful of minutes to get to the bottom, once there there's more pathway winding through the forest, it's mostly dirt but there are colourful round stones lining the way; they shine and glow in the small sunbeams coming through the leaves.

Despite the climbing and uneven terrain Patton is still full of energy and isn't even close to being winded.

After a good fifteen minutes or so, a clearing comes into view.

In the middle of this clearing is a building - or what looks like two separate structures mashed together with a huge shimmery closed off fence that reaches higher than the smooshed together building.

Patton waves his hands in front of the clearing "welcome to the sanctuary!"

[troublesome-trio-au]

"Alright bitches" Remus announces to you guys "Patton will be your main host today, play nice with Loogie and Janjan."

"Main host?" Patton questions.

"Yeah you don't think I'm going to miss out on documenting my very fun and chaotic life to millions do you?"

Roman laughs at that "Remus we have ten followers, millions are not going to see this."

"Fine! To all our tens of viewers! But they deserve to see it! They know what's entertainment when they see it!"

"Not 'tens' just ten" Roman smiles cheekly.

"My point is" Remus continues "that everything I - we do deserves to be filmed!"

"Well I sure think you do Mudbug" Patton kisses the top of Remus' head "now go live out your weird fun filled day of work!"

[shut-up-its-funny]

I uh, did this months ago and I haven't really been..... doing much of anything lately ^^; kinda creatively burnt I suppose, an forgot I had this, but this is a colour version of this that I did a while ago

[troublesome-trio-au]

I forgot I did this!

[troublesome-trio-au]

good morning can we follow Patton today? He said he was going to the sanctuary I wanna see that!

"Rem, it's too early to turn that thing on" Roman mumbles.

The three of them are sitting at a table, breakfast in front of them.

Roman is slowly picking at his pancakes, his eyes half closed, hand propped up on his cheek, he's not much of a morning person.

"What, no it's not" Remus scoffs "how else would they see prim proper pretty Roman all sleep disheveled? "

Not all of the words seemed to process for him cause Roman replies with "aw, you think I'm preeeeetty~."

Patton snorts through a mouthful of pancakes, he has a very large serving of not only that but bacon, scrambled eggs and a Very Large blueberry muffin.

Patton seems to be a morning person and despite Remus whining last night so does it.

"Sho" Remus starts, mouth full "the shanhuaray ish it shtill off limits?" It directs the question to Patton, pointing at him with his fork.

Patton blinks a few times trying to translate what he just heard "uhh, no, not unless Lo got in more contagious patients since Thursday."

"So everyone is completely fine?" Roman asks a little more aware now.

"Yeah! Logan and Janus are actually quite a good team! And apparently Janus has some kind of special venom or something?" Patton says.

"OooOOoooh" Remus' eyes go wide with curiosity "how is it special?"

"Oh! I don't know the specifics but she called it her 'self care heals all snake oil' which I find pretty funny, cause isn't snake oil something that doesn't work? But this seems to work really well!"

"Hm, not what I was hoping for it to be but hey! It's not my venom!" Remus says then scarfs down the rest of its food while shoving the camera towards Patton.

"Oh, am I doing the blog today? I'd have to tell Logan, it would be rude to just show up with an audience."

[troublesome-trio-au]

so whats the plan now? go home do nothing? where do you guys live?

"Well, it's passed midnight" Patton says "so yeah, go home and sleep, it's Saturday tomorrow so we have to be up a little earlier, and I have to be at the sanctuary tomorrow."

The twins groan, Remus throws its head back - mouth fully agape.

Patton laughs at their reaction "I know I know, but you're the only other workers that can go out that early."

He kisses both of them on their foreheads "now get your cute patoots in your car so we can get home and cuddle."

Roman takes Patton's hand to kiss his knuckles "of course, we'll see you there love."

Remus jumps to plant a wet kiss on Patton's cheek "you convinced me with cuddles Pattycakes!"

Patton smiles and watches his boyfriends get into their car before he himself climbs into his, trailing after them.

Roman is driving them home, they're both singing along to their driving playlist (belting out the songs would be more accurate).

The commute takes around a half hour, they don't live too far but the mountains are winding so it's not exactly a direct path.

They pull up to their cute little cottage nestled in the forest.

It's very picturesque and very Patton.

As they're walking up to the door Remus addresses you -the viewers- "I'm turning this off now! You don't get to see all the juiciness of our bedtime routine! See ya tomorrow! Don't miss us too much!" he winks with a little kiss and the feed goes dark.

[troublesome-trio-au]

Ok so what we know of the V man:

1 he can fly?

2 the sun bothers him

3 he has super hearing?

4 he dated a werewolf

My conclusion: he is definitely actually a vampire and you can't convince me otherwise

And talking about theories Patton is unusually strong and tall, what's up with that?

"Why is dating a werewolf a point in the vampire category?" Patton asks genuinely confused.

"It's the opposites attraction thing, the push and pull, the forbidden love, the enemies to lovers pipeline! The romance and sexual tension of it all!" Roman enthusiastically explains.

Remus snorts "you read and write too much fanfic."

"I read and write a normal amount of fanfiction thank you very much!"

Patton continues answering, his voice isn't as confident as it should be "and he's just used to being awake at night, the sun isn't on his usual daily routine! His hearing is just really good too don't take everything so seriously hehe" his chuckle is not convincing "And the uh flying thing I didn't mean... to say that..." he says lowly.

Remus pats his shoulder "wow, you are... so not good at masking your voice."

Patton thunks his head on the top of his car "I'm trying my best."

Roman elbows Remus, Remus elbows back a little more harshly, Roman gestures to Patton pointedly.

Remus sighs, it saunters up to Patton hugging him "we know Teddy Bear, you just want to protect everyone."

Patton nods and laughs a little "I'm really not a good liar though" he admits "but I'm still not going to out my friends so you guys will just have to deal with it."

They all ignore your other question.

[troublesome-trio-au]

Fly??? Did you just ask Virgil to fly???? You said he wasn't a cryptid whats the truth

"Did- did I?" Patton stutters and laughs nervously "heheha oh how silly of me" he waves his hand about "don't think too much about it."

Remus and Roman share a stone faced look "good save babe" they say in unison.

[troublesome-trio-au]

whats the typical day for running the theater?

A few hours have passed since Remus opened up the ask blog and it was time to lock the drive in up for the night.

With all of the concessions stand and ticket booth cleaned up and money safely in Patton's possession, it was time to turn off all the lights.

"Virge, can you fly up there and turn them off please?" Patton asks politely.

Virgil salutes without a word and goes to do what was asked of him.

"Well what better time to answer this question when closing up!" Patton says and continues "I'm usually the first one here even though Virgil is the one who technically lives in this forest, he usually comes in right before the first showing, the sun bothers him."

"Yeah cause he's a vampire!" Remus jokes while picking up garbage with his bare hands.

Roman lightly shoves him "don't go starting rumors now, people might not take too kind to that one love."

Remus shoves him back a little and Roman recoils from the garbage hands giving out an undignified yelp.

Patton giggles but goes back to the question at hand.

"So I get here at around three in the afternoon, to check if everything has gone alright since the night before, and then I do my half of some boring office stuff before we need to start letting people park, by then these two sillies-" he motions to the twins who're still goofing around "-are here and opening the cash registers at the ticket stand and the snack hut."

He watches as Remus goes to hug Roman, garbage hands wiggling out to him but Roman stops him by the wrists and tries to get him to stop.

Patton calls over to them "c'mon guys once the lights turn out-" he says as the lights go out "-we're out of here..." his voice trails off at the end as he looks to the general direction of where the light switches are and gives it a deadpan look, knowing Virgil will see him.

The twins come sauntering up to Patton, garbage bags in hand.

Patton continues to answer as they throw out the trash and walk to their cars.

"So we start up the kitchen after that, so we're ready to go on fryers and stuff, and the rest is mostly normal customer service work, except a lot of our customers are, well..."

"Otherworldly and spooooooky~" Remus chimes in with wiggling fingers and ghost noises.

Patton chuckles "yeah that, and closing is basically what you just saw here, there's a whole lot of goofing around and just plain playing, we have fun."

"Yeah we do" Remus and Roman say at the same time in the same seductive tone then high five.