World of Amarie

thoughts, nerd things a free space for all expression.

[flowersintheattics-deleted]

can y’all believe these are both the same book

[truamarie]

I saw the cover to the right when I was looking for a new copy of Flowers and audibly laughed. The teenager who picks this up is going to have such a mind fuck.

[truamarie]

I LOATH beige

[life1nmotion]

Apartment in Moscow by Design3 Located in Moscow, Russia, this contemporary apartment was designed by Design3.

[truamarie]

Beautiful apartment but I can totally see my clumsy self sticking a foot through that painting.

[paoferrante]

AHHHHH

[thatadult]

sending “I hope you get that job” vibes to the people out here tryna get jobs

[theeeprotagonist]

reblogging for yall bc the shit worked for me lol

[blkmedusa]

Karma will pop me if I don’t

[truamarie]

Have you ever prayed?

I've been praying. A lot. Which is ironic because I never grew up in a or The Church. I'm not a religious person and bible verses always seemed like proverbs you find in a fortune cookie to me. All of that to say despite my lack of religious knowledge I have faith. It is a comfort really. When things go wrong and life becomes excruciatingly difficult it help my mind to stay present. Believing that there are things bigger than my existence and energies that exist to correct the world gives me some sanity to grasp onto. I just feel so unglued lately. Which gives me added anxiety. Which equals out to anxiety served a top anxiety with a healthy portion of crippling depression on the side. So I pray. Pray for several things: guidance, patience, strength, all the usual things people pray for. To be quite frank I just want to know what the FUCK I am doing. Nothing in my life is working out. Not trying to be dramatic but it seems to be. School isn't working out , work isn't working out, socializing is working out. Besides eating, sleeping and pooping which are semi automatic processes I can't do a thing properly. I can't life properly and it frustrates me. It is a slump I know. I will get through it, the sun shines above the grey, yadda yadda yadda I get it I do. Trust. Me. I've been in therapy for years I know all the sayings. I've been in this since I was 14 it has always been a struggle for me. Just more so now. And I'm. Tired. As. Fuck. Life just looks so easy for other people and I'm jealous. I want one phase one portion one day of easy. So I pray and I pray and I pray. I'm looking for signs, doors, windows just a freakin' clue. The universe knows I don't have one. I pray 🙏🏽

[truamarie]

Today

Today I feel okay. I actually woke up at a decent hour and I didn't regret opening my eyes. After two days of crippling anxiety I am welcoming the relief. I think it was going through her clothes that triggered me this time. Each piece was dripping in her perfume. She had been sick for so long I completely forgot what she smelled like. They don't tell you that about cancer. From the time she started chemo to her Passing Over her smell changed. Towards the end of her life it transformed completely into something unbecoming. Cold medicinal and at times of neglect. I particularly remember one instance where she had to receive Crisis Care in a general hospital because her private option was at capacity. The hospital was ancient, sharing history with the wealthy surroundings but none of the monetary benefit. I wouldn't say the staff neglected her but I would admit that they were so overrun that little care things like bathing wasn't a priority. She suffered and It is better for her spirit to have left her body. A fact I know but that doesn't change how much I miss her. It doesn't change that it was wholly unfair. Today I feel like a functioning human and that gives me hope that I will get through this. Hope is all I have and screaming into the void like this, obviously. I can't worry about the future though. All I can do is live with Today.

[truamarie]

Today

Today I exhibited self love. I got a pedicure, watched the Sherlock special (twice and I cried like an emotionally disturbed child) and now I am drinking mimosas while cleaning my living space. A friend told me self love is paramount for emotional and mental health. I'm just trying to get out of bed everyday.

[truamarie]

I didn't get out of bed today

I did not get out of bed today. Literally the thought of participating in life sickened me. I had headaches, stomachaches, and at some points it was difficult to breath. I guess that is how grieving goes. I grieve the loss of several things, neither want nor need to describe. Too many to count. It hit me hard today. Knocked the wind from me leaving me hyperventilating on the floor. Of course people are angry with me, as I am usually a person filled with optimism and determination. As I am a human I have a limit and I've reached it. There is chaos in my mind and in my heart. What is worse is I can't run from it. I must live with it everyday. The wailing in my dreams haunt my waking moments and I feel a numbness reaching down to my soul. So no I did not get out of bed today. But I still have hope that I will tomorrow.

[truamarie]

Well....FUCK.

[nowstandbackforyourownsafety]

[truamarie]

This photogenic mother fucker

[squidwurd]

When is season 2 of grace & frankie coming out??? Where is frank ocean with that album??? When will I get a boyfriend??? WHERE IS PAPA JOHNS WITH THE PIZZA I ORDERED????¿¿?¿

[o-dellbeckham-deactivated202101]

[goldnpoc]

💀💀💀💀💀

[donoharm777]

no offense but fuck you Macy I’ll literally knock your lights out sis

[h0odrich]

the author is just mad she was named after a department store

[truamarie]

I'd like to point out that she is from a white Anglo Saxon heritage and has used plastic surgery to augment herself into a more exotic look. Which take cultural appropriation into another level.

[whoreofbabylllllon-deactivated2]

[truamarie]

I need to know where this is from

[truamarie]

Soooo

This week I failed a class, lost my job, and a family member passed away. I really don't know where to go from here.

[crownprincesses]

The Duke and the Duchess of Cambridge attended the 23rd ICAP’s Annual Charity Day, where they raised founds for their charities, in London. | December 9th, 2015

[truamarie]

Uh....is there a dude wearing jean shorts and heels standing next to the Duke? Those heels are FIRE but the shorts are completely non professional.

[abrieftasteoflove-deactivated20]

[adultwednesdayadams]

Something Rotten!

[ariaste]

omg a musical song about COMPLAINING ABOUT WRITING My whole life I have been waiting for this. MY WHOLE LIFE.

[once-upon-a-reblog]

OH MY WORD

[erebusodora-deactivated20190104]

YES.

[metalscoops]

OMG This is so accurate it hurts!! Is this coming to the west end?? Please say it’s coming to the west end

[holidayhippo]

@determamfidd Have you seen this?