TRUE COLOURS PROJECT

Created to celebrate the support Louis has shown his fans and to create a safe space for all LGBTQIA Louies. Twitter | JustGiving | Instagram FAQ | About

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Coming out as a young person

Thank you, Stonewall for your research, information and advice.

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What is coming out?

‘Coming out’ means telling someone something about yourself that isn’t immediately obvious. In relation to sexual orientation and gender identity, this means sharing with others that you are lesbian, gay, bi or trans. The process of coming out can be very different for everyone and it can take some time to get to a point where you feel comfortable and confident enough to have those conversations with people.

Why come out?

Mostly, people just want to be honest about who they are, especially with the people they love.

Hiding who you are can be a big struggle. It can take your focus and energy away from other important things in your life such as your job, studying or exams.

Just because someone may decide to come out to family or friends, doesn’t mean they have to come out to everyone. It’s quite common for people to be out in certain areas of their lives but not in others.

It may take you a while to get to a point where you feel ready to come out which is absolutely fine. The main thing to remember is to not put pressure on yourself and to only come out when you feel ready.

How to come out

There are many different ways to come out, and there is no right or wrong way to do it. If you are thinking about coming out then it’s important that you find a way that feels right for you.

Here are some things you might like to consider:

Who do you want to tell?

It’s unlikely that you will be able to gather everyone you know in one room and come out to them all at once, and this is probably something you’d find pretty daunting anyway! Therefore you’ll probably need to do it in stages.

Think about who you want to tell first. Ideally, this should be someone who you think will be supportive, such as a friend, family member or maybe a trusted youth worker or teacher. They will then be able to support you when you tell other people.

Is there anyone you DON’T want to know?

Thanks to social media sites like Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr and Instagram, new travels faster than ever these days.

If there is someone in your life who you would rather not be out to, think carefully about how you will be able to manage this. It’s worth considering that once you tell one person, other people in your life could find out, even if you don’t want them to. 

When is the right time to say something?

It’s worth acknowledging that coming out could be a bit of a surprise to some people in your life.

You’ve probably had a long time to get used to it but the person or people you’re telling will be hearing it for the first time.

Consider telling them at a time when you will be able to talk things through properly. For instance, coming out to a friend on your way in to an exam probably isn’t the best time! Broaching the subject on the phone to a parent or guardian when you’ve only got 2% battery also isn’t ideal.

How will you tell people?

Everyone will have their own preference when it comes to choosing how to come out.

The most obvious way is to sit down in person and talk. The benefits of coming out this way are that you’ll be able to answer any questions they may have and also get some comfort or reassurance if you need it. It may feel daunting but once you’ve told one person it really does start to feel easier.

Some people may choose to send an email, text or letter (remember them?!) as this will give the person time to process what you’re telling them before they respond.

Some people have used social media to come out. Although this method of coming out means you’ll probably only need to do it once, it also takes away the opportunity to have those personal conversations with those who are close to you.

Remember, there is no right or wrong way to come out.

Support with coming out as lesbian, gay or bi

Some people come out with no problems at all but for others, there may be obstacles and setbacks. Sometimes those close to you may need some time to get used to the news. It can be difficult if the people you care about have a hard time accepting who you are. Everyone’s coming out journey is different. You may find some of the following support useful. 

‘Coming Out! is Stonewall’s guide for young people. It provides answers to some of the most common questions young people might have if they are thinking about coming out, or think they might be lesbian, gay or bi. Written and designed in conjunction with young people themselves, the guide offers advice, guidance and suggestions for further support. 

Coming out guide November 2015

‘Staying Safe Online’ is a guide for young people that look at the risks you can face when using the internet and social media. 

Staying Safe Online (2014)November 2015

Support with coming out as trans 

'A Guide for Young Trans People in the UK’ was produced by young trans people and gathers stories, sources, facts and tips that might be useful to anyone questioning their gender. This project was funded by the Department of Health’s Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity Advisory Group in 2007.

Download a free copy of the guide

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Coming out as an adult

Thank you, Stonewall for your research, information and advice.

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What is ‘coming out’?

 Telling people about your sexuality or gender identity is called coming out. Coming out is not necessarily a one-off event - lesbian, gay, bi and trans people may have to come out many times during their lives. It is also very individual and people may face different challenges when coming out. 

There is no one prescribed way to come out. You may feel comfortable being open about your sexuality and gender identity with some people, but not with others. Coming out may be difficult and takes courage. Reactions to someone coming out can range from very positive, to less welcoming. Once you have made the decision to tell people, you may want to think about how you tell them. We have set out a few thoughts on coming out, and links to where you can find further advice and support. 

Why come out?

 Whether you’ve come to terms with your sexuality or gender identity, or you’re still thinking about it, it can be difficult dealing with that on your own. You may get to a point where you need to talk about it with someone, to get support or simply get it off your chest. To hide who you are from other people often means lying and pretending. You will need to think about whether hiding is more or less stressful than being open about it.

Don’t feel under pressure to come out - take your time. Only you will know when you feel comfortable and ready to do it.

If you decide to come out, but are unsure how others might react, you could consider making contact with a support group first. There are helplines, community groups and agencies across the country who are there to support and advise you. 

What will my friends say?

 Most people worry about how their friends will react when they come out. Your friends might be surprised, have lots of questions, not know what to say or may have even guessed already! At first, choose a friend you trust and who you think will be supportive. Think about how you’ll answer some of the things they might ask like, ‘how do you know?’.

If a friend reacts badly, remember they might just need some time to absorb what you’ve told them. Although you can’t predict what people will say or do, when you tell a close friend that you trust, the chances are they’ll be pleased you’ve shared something so personal with them.

How do I tell my family?

 There’s no right or wrong way or time to come our to your family. However, it’s a good idea to take time to think about what you want to say. Coming out when you’re arguing or angry isn’t a good idea. Some people tell their family face to face while others prefer to write a letter or send an email. Your family might be shocked, worried or find it difficult to accept at first. Remember, their first reaction isn’t necessarily how they’ll feel forever, they might just need a bit of time to process what you’ve told them.

Coming out at work

Stonewall knows that people perform better at work when they can be themselves. This means, it is in your employers best interest to support you to be open and honest about who you are when at work. Some employers have LGBT staff networks which you can join for support and to meet other people.

The Equality Act 2010 bans discrimination and harrassment on the grounds of sexual orientation and gender reassignment (gender identity) in employment and vocational training. This includes direct and indirect discrimination, harassment and victimisation, and you are protected throughout the entire employment relationship, from recruitment to dismissal. Discrimination applies to terms and conditions, pay, promotions, transfers, training and dismissal. You can read more about these protections on our information pages under Discrimination At Work. 

Stonewall works with employers across England, Scotland and Wales through its Diversity Champions programme. This is Britain’s leading best-practice employers’ forum for sexual orientation and gender identity equality, diversity and inclusion. Every year we publish a list of the top 100 employers for LGBT equality. View this list here

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7 Days of Rainbow Louis Day 6: PURPLE + Louis is Love and Magic

True Colours Project Justgiving for Stonewall [DONATE] SUPPORT Miss You [iTUNES / AMAZON] SPOTIFY LOUIS [STREAM] YOUTUBE LOUIS [STREAM]

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TRUE COLOURS PROJECT

- JustGiving for STONEWALL [DONATE] [RAFFLE GIVEAWAY]

⇢ support Louis’ music on iTunes | Amazon | Spotify | YouTube

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(1/2) From the beginning I saw a lot of myself in Louis, which is why initially I admit I actively disliked him as a sort of scapegoat for the things I didn't like about myself, particularly in the way of femininity and flamboyance. Realising that, Louis became an integral part of my coming to terms that I was a trans man, through being unapologetic about his femininity alongside his masculinity in a way that I hadn’t seen modelled before […]

(previously seeing myself as not “man enough” for having equal measures of the two), all while exuding strength, kindness, and preaching acceptance across the fanbase, the likes of which I can only hope to someday share and spread myself. I’m forever grateful for the impact he’s had, and still has, on me as an artist and as a person equally, and will continue to love him dearly through everything he does. xx

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

We are touched by your moving story and strength. So happy to hear how Louis help you accept yourself!

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Thank you all for sharing your love and appreciation for Louis! #truecoloursproject

If you have a story you would like to share, please join us on Twitter or send it to us here!

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Flat Louis supports @truecolourslwt!

TRUE COLOURS PROJECT : Twitter  |  Instagram |  JustGiving

And don’t forget to support  MISS YOU as well.

Buy and Listen

STREAM MISS YOU

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Thank you Flat Louis!  It’s a honour!!!

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Lou Pride

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@truecolourslwt can i submit this fan art to the book thing? i think the half birthday charity drive idea is awesome but i haven’t participated in anything like this before, so i don’t know if this is how i’m supposed to submit my artwork or not? either way, louis has helped me come to terms with many aspects of my gender and sexuality, so any opportunity to thank him, i’ll gladly take. good luck with the fundraising and book thing! xx

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You can absolutely submit this! It is gorgeous.xx

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SO PROUD!!! THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO SUPPORTED TRUE COLOURS🌈

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What is a hate crime?

Thank you, Stonewall for your research, information and advice.

Hate incidents and hate crimes are acts of violence or hostility directed at people because of who they are or who someone thinks they are. For example, you may have had abuse shouted at you on the street because you were holding hands with your same-sex partner. 

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Police forces in England and Wales make a distinction between a hate crime and a hate incident.

A hate incident is defined as any act, which may or may not be a crime, that the victim or any other person perceives to be motivated by hostility or prejudice towards an aspect of a person’s identity. Hate incidents include:

verbal abuse like name-calling 

harassment

physical attacks such as hitting, punching, pushing, spitting

threats of violence

hoax calls, abusive phone or text messages, hate mail

online abuse for example on Facebook or Twitter

harm or damage to things such as your home, pet, vehicle

graffiti

arson.

A hate crime is any illegal act that the victim or any other person perceives to be motivated by hostility or prejudices towards an aspect of a person’s identity.

When an act is classed as a hate crime, the judge can impose a tougher sentence on the offender under the Criminal Justice Act 2003. 

Homophobia, biphobia and transphobia

Homophobic, biphobic or transphobic hate crimes or incidents are motivated by the offender’s hostility or prejudice towards lesbian, gay, bi or trans people.

Anyone can be a victim of a homophobic, biphobic or transphobic incident - it does not matter if the victim is lesbian, gay, bi, trans or straight.

It is a hate crime if someone shouts homophobic, biphobic or transphobic abuse at someone in the street, or physically attacks them because they think they’re gay, lesbian, bi or trans.

Report it*

If you feel you have experienced or witnessed a hate crime or incident, report it. The police can only do something if they know about it. If they don’t know, they can’t prevent things from getting worse. By reporting a crime or an incident you could be protecting someone else from harm.

*UK only.

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Part 1: I came from a very conservative family. I was taught homosexuality was something funny and not to be taken seriously. They were never outrightly telling me it was something wrong, but the tone of their words had talked down on LGBTQ+ individuals. I had never thought anything of it. One of the most notable things I remember was this interview I watched of Louis, years and years ago. I was a fan of one direction at that point.

The interviewer asked them whether having fans, particularly men, were weird. I’ll never forget how they kept pushing for an answer that would confirm that it was weird (at this point in time, my thought process was, oh here comes the jokes). Louis never gave them that, instead he visibly became so annoyed. It was so riveting for me at that stage to see. I was made to believe men liking other men was a weird thing, something to be made fun of.

I found myself so intrigued by Louis’ reaction. I was younger then, and it gave me the sense to truly question that maybe this wasn’t a laughing matter. His reaction challenged the ideas that I had always been surrounded by and known. I’ll always be thankful to him for that. And I will always love him for it.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Thank you much for opening up and sharing your story!!!

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We believe this is the interview the anon was talking about. Again, thank you so much for sharing how Louis has helped you.

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Thank you to everyone who has participated in the True Colours Project. We have loved reading the heartwarming stories of how Louis has made a difference in your life and the beautiful and creative edits the talented Louies shared. We are also so very thankful to all those that donate to Stonewall in honour of Louis. We are beyond excited to have exceeded our goal!

This has been a six month labour of love and we did this together!!!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to every member of the True Colours team💙

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to everyone that shared their personal story with us💙

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to all the talented artist that participated in the Rainbow Edit Celebration💙

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to @goodmorningtoyouuniverse @easy-i @yourheartcanloveagain @allwaswell16 @joliepetitelou @myownsparknow @sotiredbutcantsleep for organizing the amazing giveaways that were instrumental in helping us reach our goal💙 THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to Stonewall for being such a wonderful LGBTQA organization and the best partner. Stonewall asked us to forward all the stories of how Louis touched people’s lives and they have such admiration for Louis and have said time and time again how special they think the Louies are💙 THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to every Louie! You kindness, dedication and willingness to persevere with your support even through the roughest waters … we have no words.💙 More than anything, we hope Louis knows we see his true colours and they are beautiful, like a rainbow 🌈

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TRUE COLOURS PROJECT

- JustGiving for STONEWALL [DONATE] [RAFFLE GIVEAWAY]

⇢ support Louis’ music on iTunes | Amazon | Spotify | YouTube

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Resources

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The True Colours Project was created to celebrate the support Louis has shown his fans and to create a safe space for all LGBTQIA Louies.  We believe knowledge is power so we are excited to launch our Resource Center.

Stonewall is committed to providing valuable information, education and advice to the LGBT community.  We are proud they have opened their resource vault to us.  Over the next several months we will be adding more information and highlighting several key topics. We hope this can serve as a resource center for all!

If there is an issue you are curious or passionate about, please let us know and we will do everything we can to address it. 

Here follows a list of links to general documentation regarding the following topics:

Community, which contains a wonderful guide on how to start a LGBT youth club in your community, information on bisexuals and one on self acceptance.

Conferences contain resources around sustainable development, christian role models, and a bit of UK policy.

Different families, same love - an amazing 28 page document on children with lesbian or gay parents discussing their experiences along with several wonderful set of posters and cards that spreads the word that families may be different, but they all love the same.

Education - from lesson plans to awareness campaigns to anti-bullying and homophobic language.  Certain files focus on primary school learners, while others are high school learner oriented.

Workplace, including Trans support in the workplace.  (It also contains a lovely summary for a bunch of countries’ workplace policy and links to support organisations within that country - see if yours is there.)

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Coming out - advice and guidance for parents

Thank you, Stonewall for your research, information and advice.

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For parents

As a parent, you may have understandable questions or concerns if you think that your child might be lesbian, gay, bi or trans. We’ve tried to answer some of the commons ones below; 

I think that my child might be lesbian, gay, bi or trans. How can I be sure?

Until your child comes and tells you that they are, or might be lesbian, gay, bi or trans you can’t know. Try not to make assumptions and let them come and tell you in their own time. Create a positive environment where your child feels able to talk to you about their sexual orientation or gender identity, for example, say positive things about LGBT people when they’re on TV and don’t allow people to say negative things under your roof.

But I don’t agree with it.

The truth is, if you’ve got a problem with the idea of your child being lesbian, gay, bi or trans you’re going to have to live with it and accept it. The best thing you can do is to put your feelings to one side and remember that, regardless of your child’s sexuality or gender identity, you love them and want them to be happy. As for other family members if they don’t react well initially, put some rules in place and establish what can and can’t be said in front of your child.

Talking about it is a good thing

One thing you can do is give them the information they need to make good decisions. LGBT young people often lack access to information about their rights, where to access support, sex and staying safe so, even if you feel like you can’t talk about it personally, you should at least be able to point them in the direction of the information they need. You can contact Stonewall’s Information Service for pointers. 

Won’t being LGBT make their life harder for them?

One of the hardest things for LGBT people to face is rejection from their friends and family. New laws have made our country fairer and more equal. Gay, lesbian and bi people can now get married and have children, and there is legislation to protect LGBT people in the workplace. There are more LGBT role models in the arts, politics and sport and those people who have a problem with LGBT people are an increasingly small minority. In modern Britain, LGB young people can grow up, live happy lives and fall in love with people just like anyone else.

Support when you think your child might be lesbian, gay or bisexual

While YouGov polling shows that 81 percent of people in Britain would be comfortable if their child was LGB, Stonewall’s guide ‘So you think your child is gay?’ answers some of the most frequent questions asked by parents about sexual orientation.

So You Think Your Child Is Gay?

Support when you think your child might be trans

Gendered Intelligence work with the trans community, and those who impact on trans lives. They specialise in supporting young trans people aged 8-25. They have produced a guide with trans young people and their parents. It discusses various issues and concerns that parents and family members of trans people have and includes useful information, stories and quotes.

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Thank you Louis for introducing us to an important aspect of gay history!

Polari was a gay street language, which has now almost died out. It was more common in the 1960’s when gays needed to have a private language to communicate for safety. Essentially it was a way of communicating hidden messages in plain site while identifying who was safe to be around and communicate with.  In the last few years, more and more people have been finding out about it, and several web sites and magazine articles have been written about Polari.

Polari is a really important example of a culture created under oppression as a form of resistance, thank you again Louis for bringing Polari to our attention!  It is also an important reminder that support and coding is often very subtle but massively important.

If you feel comfortable, please tell us how you have shown support to the LGBTA community in subtle ways!

Here is a list of words that Chris-d put together from various sources.

Keep reading

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The ALL OUT Campaign

In 71 countries, it’s a crime to be gay; and in 10, it can cost you your life. All Out is a global movement working to build a world where no person will have to sacrifice their family or freedom, safety or dignity, because of who they are or who they love.

By mobilising thousands of people globally and working closely with local organisations and activists, we use creative tactics – online and offline – to draw attention to the push for equality for lesbian, gay, bi and trans (LGBT) people.

When a moment of crisis or opportunity comes up – an anti-gay law going to a vote, a crackdown on a Pride march, a company making a wrong turn for trans rights –, All Out uses technology to give our members inspiring ways to take action.

That’s where the power of All Out members shows: from signing a petition to joining a street protest, from sharing content to donating to fund a campaigning tactic, we are thousands of people in every single country on the planet who are always ready to speak up and take a stand for love and equality.

To learn more visit ALLOUT

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Thank you Louis for bringing world wide attention to this important LGBT campaign!