Oh Boy Oh Boy. @trustedelcapitano - Tumblr Blog

My motivation to exist within the world at this moment is very low

I’m attracted to a very specific genre of man:

The ones with bruised eyelids

And nerdy predilections

A weird nose

Veiny arms

He teaches u about yellow snow in a car, on ur first date

You can’t leave but it’s pretty weird, pretty fun

yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou

Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.

It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.

Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.

It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.

This sort of behavior is classified as “para-suicidal” It’s putting yourself in a situation of danger or destruction with the intention of risking your safety rather than a direct attempt on your life. Kind of, leaving it all to chance? Also doing things to harm yourself or your self worth because you feel you deserve to feel the outcome of those actions.

Twerkin 4 Jesus

catfishblues

pilgrimattinkercreek1974

Is it just me or is anybody starting to feel like uhhh. maybe it wont pass

trustedelcapitano

It don’t you just learn to cope or don’t learn to cope

Do you ever really sit down and contemplate the state of things? The fucked up duality of an in full screen hd quality 21st century life? Like Jesus.

We (the modernized world) are probably at our most comfortable, at least in terms of ease. Easy entertainment. Easy communication. Easy education. Easy eating. Etc etc etc

Yet we are all fucking overmedicated? Suicidal, homicidal, wristcutters, blood drawers, miserable. It just grows progressively worse each year.

Most comfortable, less stable.