Chaotic and Emotional

Aries, 26 years old, Female, She/Her/Hers 🙃🥰 This is really just mostly reblogs and an occasional thought dump. No specific themes or anything like that, though I guess the fandom reblogs kind of count since that's most of it 🤔 *Previously known as Unimaginative Psychopath and Things I Am Afraid to Say. As respect to my past selves, my sideblogs are now using those names.

[trying414]

Welcome to the Main Brain of Someone With No Shame

That's right, I'm finally making a proper pinned post for main.

So! Links. Let me expose my Tumblr of Shame™️ and Disastrous Art Blog™️ (I know, it's not nearly as fun sounding as the Tumblr of Shame™️)

If you're looking for the shitty (and not-so-shitty) artsy things I produce, might I suggest trying @ohwhatabeautifulnightmare?

If you're looking for the words I have (and have not) written, I'm going to direct you to @forbiddendrabbles.

Writing Blog

Currently has my brand new drop-down Masterlist linked to the pinned post!

The Drabbles/Original Works Masterlist is not long enough to warrant that (yet) but it has been set up with its own page for when it is.

The Prompt Masterlist, while long enough, has not yet been made into its own page. That is coming soon!

Art Blog

Art Masterlist, linked to the Art Blog's pinned post, is a bit of the in-between! It's starting to get long enough, and it has its own page, but I haven't gotten to coding it as drop-downs yet. Soon!

And here on main, you'll find a shit-ton of reblogs and whatever bullshit I manage to spawn in either my daily life or the hellscape I call my mind.

Has this post been quite self-deprecating? You betcha!

(I'll do better.)

(At some point.)

If you're looking to find out who I currently am (or previously have been) in the MWC, I'm going to send you on your merry way to the MWC and Who I'd Be post.

(I'm mainly tagging that for myself. I keep losing it when I need to add a name 😂)

If you're looking for the secrets of the boop, I offer you the Boop Bible. Happy booping 😂

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 24 (masterpost here)

*Alfred setting dinner down for the kids*

Damian: thank you, Pennyworth. so will Father not be joining us?

Alfred: you father is working late at Wayne Enterprises tonight i’m afraid, he’s asked that Master Dick step in for him as Batman in the likely case that he not make it home in time for patrol.

Dick: if he’s not here then can we play Bat-Quotes?

Duke, instantly: YES. yes, yes, a thousand times yes,

Tim: also agreed, if B isn’t here then we have to.

*all the kids look to Jason expectantly*

Jason: …i shouldn’t have come up with that game.

Alfred, mild: oh dear, this isn’t a dangerous game, i hope? my dishware won’t be in danger?

Dick, snickering: no no, don’t worry Alfie. the game’s only dangerous to Jason.

Damian, smug: yes, meanwhile for us it is, in fact, a completely consequenceless endeavour.

Jason: …i really should not have come up with that game.

the batkids, chanting at Jason: Bat-Quotes, Bat-Quotes, Bat-Quotes, Bat-Quotes-

Jason: i- *wheeze* OK- ALRIGHT, we can play a round or two, oh my god, i hope you’re happy,

*cheering and clapping*

Alfred: *warily raises an eyebrow*

Jason, bringing out his phone and sighing theatrically: alright, alright, everybody welcome back to Bat-Quotes; a horrible game that puts my social life in danger on a regular basis. i hate that i came up with it, and i hate that you all like it, but here we are.

Alfred: and what is the nature of this game, if i may ask?

Dick, gleefully: Jason keeps a list of quotes that people associated with our bat-lives have said. he reads them out, we have to guess who it was that said it, and if we- *wheeze* if we get one right—*laughing* Jason tell him what happens if we get one right,

Jason, looking very begrudging: well, as you know, the Red Hood has become a big enough and regular enough ally of the Justice League that i’ve been added to the main JL group chat. so if- *wheeze* *regretfully* if somebody correctly labels the person who says a quote, then i have to say that quote as myself in the official Justice League group chat, with no explanation, and no matter the reaction i can never explain it.

Steph, grinning maniacally: to further explain to you the genius consequences of this game, Alfie, let me tell you the last time we played Bat-Quotes; where Duke got the best slam-dunk i have ever seen on the quote of- *laughs* what was it, Jason?

Jason, looking at his phone: uh- so last time we had the quote ‘i think i would fuck a plant if i had the free time, it’s just that i’ve always had an unnatural fear of stinging nettles stinging the inside of my ass somehow, so i think that i’d be a little bit paranoid about it at first.’

Dick: *wheezes, smacking the table-top*

Tim, also crying: GOD i forgot,

Jason: yeah—Duke came in with the guess of Harley Quinn, which was correct, so i had to- *wheeze* with no context,

Cass, shark-like: and you had a reaction, right?

Jason: yeah, so because of that i had Uncle Clark call me, because he thought that i was speaking in some kind of code to let them know i was in danger. and i had to fucking be like. ‘no i was just sharing my thoughts on the matter’ and he didn’t speak to me directly for like a week.

Duke: *cackles* BEST ACHIEVEMENT OF MY LIFE,

Jason: yeah- you’ll also all be happy to know that Bruce DM’ed me after that to say the simple sentence of ‘do you fucking know how hard i advocated for you to be on this team?’

Dick: *almost falls off his chair* *struggling to breathe* i love this game so much.

Jason, dryly: yeah i’m sure it’s real fuckin’ fun for you guys.

Alfred:

Alfred: dear lord.

Jason: yeah exactly Alfie, Dear Fucking Lord.

Steph: hush up and play the game with us, coward.

Jason: *sighs* alright, let me- let me pick one.

*waiting*

Jason: alright- fuck. alright. here we go. and- AND LET ME BE CLEAR. you cannot each give your own separate answer, that’s fucking unfair, you can’t have six whole chances of getting it right. you have to choose one.

Damian: just say the quote.

Jason: *sigh* ok, number one. ‘if i tell you that i don’t currently remember which colours you mix to make purple, are you gonna make fun of me?’

Alfred: *squints*

the rest of the batkids: *intense focus*

Steph: oh, see that’s a hard one.

Duke: my instinctual reaction is one of the rogues. they spout a lot of shit when they’re beaten half into the ground, you know? all delirious n’ shit?

Dick: Riddler…? maybe…?

Cass: sounds like somebody drugged.

Damian: Cain is right, if it’s a rogue then it’s more likely to be Scarecrow high on his own gas.

Tim: no, no, i don’t think it’s a rogue. i wanna say… Steph?

Steph: excuse me?!?! i did not-

Tim, defensive: YOU SAY A LOT OF WEIRD SHIT WHILE DRUNK! we have to be logical about this; Jason objectively spends more time laughing at things we say while hammered than he does sticking around after fights to listen to rogues rambling. and your favourite colour is purple!

*consideration*

Dick: ‘s got a point. this is about being right, Steph. we have to put pride aside.

Cass: agreed.

Steph: i would not say that shit!

Duke: i dunno, one time i watched you google how to boil an egg.

Steph:

Steph, begrudging: fine, whatever.

Jason: final answer?

Tim: Steph.

Jason: ok, well in that case that’s one of the biggest flops i’ve ever seen, because Tim that was you,

Steph: HA.

Tim: ?! WHAT?

Jason, smugly: you, about seven months back, high on cold medicine, when you were bed bound. and- and you actually said it to Steph, so that’s a double failure really.

Tim: FUCK.

Dick: please tell me you have more, that can’t be it.

Jason: i’ll give- ok, i’ll give you two more chances, and then i’m banning this game for the next month at LEAST for my own safety.

Cass: deal, give.

Jason: ok, ready? this one’s one of my favourites, actually.

Jason: ‘is it just me, or are Nightwing and Batman kinda gay for each other’.

Duke: *instant wheeze*

Steph and Tim: *loud cackles*

Dick, offended: HELLO?!?!

Jason, proudly: come on, what do you think?

Dick: WHAT THE FUCK, THAT’S MY DAD.

Damian, snickering: no, no, this is good. it narrows it down, it proves that the answer is somebody who doesn’t know our identities. it has to be a rogue.

Duke: i dunno if he’d repeat answers so soon but it does sound like something Harley would say, not gonna lie.

Steph, still laughing: you guys are talking like all of us wouldn’t yell this shit from the rooftops just to piss Dick off. i’d pin this on Babs taking the mick over comms.

Tim: no, Damian- *wheeze* Damian has a point. if it were Barbara over comms then she would have said Dick and Bruce, not Nightwing and Batman. i feel like this was said out in public, around other people.

Dick: surely i would remember if one of you had said it.

Tim: i dunno. i’m kinda worried it’s me again.

Damian: *wheeze* it’s all- it’s all just Drake.

Steph: is there a chance it could have been- like, the titans or something? this sounds like a joke Gar would make.

Tim: oh, maybe, that’s genius,

Duke: i don’t know the titans well enough to make that kind of call, so i’ll go with whatever you guys say.

Dick: …*intense squinting at the table*

Cass: what do you think?

Dick: …i’m just trying to remember- Selina’s made a few jokes about her third-wheeling us before, and i’m trying to remember if this could have been her.

Tim: i feel like Steph is right, i think it’s more likely to be a titan.

Damian: honestly, the most likely scenario is that it was Jason. is that an option?

*the kids all turn to stare at Jason*

Jason, shrugging: you can use your one guess for me if you want.

Steph, instantly: oh- fuck off, you can’t do that. you have to at least tell us if it’s possible that you’re the original quoter.

Jason, laughing: alright, alright—none of them are me.

Dick: then- ok yeah, i’m with Duke, you guys take this one. i don’t know.

Tim: ok, we’ll say Beast Boy then.

*a beat*

Jason: *incorrect buzzer sound*

Tim: DAMMIT.

Jason: that one was actually Antonio, one of my main subordinates in the alley.

Duke: FUCK OFF-

Steph: THAT’S SO CHEATING!

Jason: *cackles evily*

Dick: -SO unfair, how the fuck are we supposed to know the names of your men?!!

Jason: no no, this is fair, and for the record i would have accepted ‘a Red Hood goon’ as a correct answer, i’m not a monster. y’all are thinkin’ about people you know; gotta think about people i know.

Tim: -shut up and give us the final one.

Jason: ok touchy! well this one—this one i think is the worst one for me to put in the chat, so. i’m not really happy about this.

Cass: give it to us.

Jason: …’i saw a bird fly into the wing-mirror of the Batmobile, and ever since i’ve just been feeling kind of depressed. is anyone available for a hug?’

Dick: *noise of awe*

Tim: …shit i really want him to say this to the Justice League.

Duke: guys we need to lock in. we need to get this one. who would say this that spends time around the Batmobile?

Steph: and who would actively ask for physical comfort?

Cass: Dick likes hugs.

Dick, intensely thinking: ….it does kinda sound like me…

Tim: do you remember ever watching a bird fly into the window?!

Dick: no that’s what- i’m trying to think, i can’t remember!

Duke: Dami, do we think it could have been you?

Damian, flat: is that a genuine question.

Duke: no- i know, i know it doesn’t sound like you, but the bird thing tracks. and like- we’ve all been high on pain meds during various points in our lives. we get clingy, it happens!

Damian, shaking his head: if it was me i don’t remember it.

Tim: i don’t think Damian would ask for anybody to hug him. when he gets high he beelines for B, Dick and Jay. he’s specific about it. this is somebody who just likes physical comfort point blank.

Dick, considering: can i suggest… Bruce?

Steph: there is no fucking way we wouldn’t remember that. we’d have the recording. i keep going back to Dick, i feel like it’s him,

Dick: same but i also think i’d remember watching a bird hit the window-!

Damian, leaning back in his seat, tonguing his cheek: hmm.

Cass: Damian, you have an idea?

Damian, hesitant: hm.

Jason: i want a final answer.

*silence*

Damian: can i…?

*a beat*

Damian: Jon Kent…?

Tim: ooo,

*silence, all attention on Jason*

*waiting*

Alfred: *takes a sip of wine*

Jason, with feeling: ffffuck.

Damian: SERIOUSLY?

Jason, again: FUCK.

*instant uproar, batkids celebrating*

Jason: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THIS TO ME-

Damian: THERE’S NO WAY,

Steph: I’M SO HAPPY,

Jason: I DON’T WANNA- YOU GUYS DON’T UNDERSTAND-

Dick: DUDE- JASON- WONDER WOMAN IS IN THAT CHAT,

Duke: *falls off his chair*

Jason: I DON’T WANNA DO IT-!

Damian, deadly serious: you have to- i won fair and square, you have to.

Jason: *glances at his phone, pensive*

Tim: *wheezes* that’s such a bad one-!

Jason, dramatically throwing himself down in his seat: I DON’T WANNA DO IT.

Steph: *evil cackling*

Cass: i’ll do it for you if you want-

Jason, snatching his phone away from her: don’t you dare- THIS IS THE WORST FUCKING GAME WE HAVE EVER COME UP WITH!

Damian: you have to do it.

Jason, wailing: i KNOW,

Dick: *wheezes* this is the best day of my life,

Duke, incredibly happy: dude- you know Bruce is gonna see that in the chat, right? he’s gonna be so worried.

Dick, wheezing: and you can never explain-!

Jason, grumpy: god fucking- *angrily typing at phone*

Steph: Dick you’re in the chat too, right? check he actually does it.

Dick, pulling out his phone: he has- *wheeze* word for word, it’s there.

Jason: i’m so mad- Damian you weren’t even there when he said it.

Tim, wiping tears from his eyes: when the fuck did he say it?!

Jason, annoyed: he said it on the Watchtower while Clark was working really late and he was over-tired, and me, him, Kon, and Roy somehow ended up in the rec room with him watching fucking Marley and Me at three in the morning, and i guess he got sad!

Dick: oh my- aw, oh my god, he got a hug, right?

Jason: yeah actually- Kon opened up his arms and Jon walked right past him and into mine, and Roy laughed so hard he had to leave the room.

Steph: god that was- Damian that was SUCH a god-tier move.

Damian, dryly: my best friend, ladies and gentlemen.

Dick: *wheezes again*

Jason: i’m putting my phone on mute, fuck you guys. worst game ever.

Steph, wetly: best game ever.

~forty minutes later, as the kids clean up the kitchen from dinner~

Jason, walking back in from the bathroom: i hope you’re all happy, because i just got a text from Uncle Clark that says ‘i want you to know i’m always here for you if you need a shoulder to lean on’.

Dick: *wheezes, falls into Cass, who has to hold him up* oh my god, Uncle Clark is my favourite person on this fuckin’ planet,

Jason, holding up a finger, reading from his phone: wait for it, because the Flash has responded to me in the actual chat, and he has said, ‘i’m so sorry you’re feeling like that Hood, i know what it’s like.’ to which Diana put, ‘depression is a battle that we all struggle with at some point, it’s brave of you both to speak up.’ and then Barry put, ‘i mean yeah, but i meant i knew what it felt like to run into the Batmobile wing-mirror at full speed’.

the batkids: *burst out laughing*

Jason, bowing begrudgingly: you’re welcome, you all better be fucking satisfied.

Damian, hanging onto Tim for balance: victory tastes so sweet-!

Alfred, from the other end of the kitchen, face flat: i hope you all know that i will be the one that Master Bruce comes to for advice when he thinks his son is depressed.

[papayafromtv]

i’m all for the angst potential of Dick Grayson being the one kid that Bruce never legally adopted and rather just kept as a ward and that causing insecurities for Dick, but at the moment all i can think about is how much funnier it would be if it was the complete other way round regarding who felt rejected about the whole thing. Tim and Damian find out Dick isn’t a legal adoptee of Bruce Wayne and rally to ‘have their brother’s back’ and go to confront Bruce on the matter, and Jason’s next to him when it happens and he starts crying laughing while Bruce just gets a really uncomfortable look on his face.

Jason, losing his mind: you think- you think BRUCE excluded DICK?! no no no bubba, it’s the other way around,

Bruce: *looking at the ground intently*

Damian: i don’t understand. why did Father not adopt Grayson then?

Jason, genuinely struggling to breathe: he- he tried- *high pitched, now on his hands and knees on the floor to wheeze* Dick- god this is my favourite story ever- Dick didn’t want him-

Tim and Damian:

Tim and Damian: what.

Bruce, blushing slightly: it wasn’t that he didn’t want me, we were just in different places in the relationship,

Jason: *wheezes*

Bruce: Jason shut up.

Tim: i don’t understand.

Jason: he- he asked Dick if he wanted to be adopted, and Dick looked him right in the fucking eyes and went ‘nah, thanks.’ and walked away,

Damian: …are you being serious?

Bruce: he didn’t want anybody to take a legal role that could replace his parents, which is fully understandable and i respect it completely; he’s my child regardless of the legal specifics,

Jason: *dry heaving on the floor*

Bruce: …though it did sting a little bit when i told him ‘you know in my heart you are my son, right?’ and he looked at me and said ‘yeah.’ and nothing else.

Jason: *painful wheeze*

Bruce, starting to get slightly indignant: …-it’s also just slightly awkward whenever people come up to me and bring it up- all ‘why don’t you adopt Dick, don’t you want to?’ and then they list off all the benefits of legally adopting him and i have to stand there staring at them thinking ‘yeah i fucking agree.’

Tim and Damian:

Tim: i’m starting to think we’ve struck a nerve here,

Bruce: -you know i really poured my heart into that ‘i want to adopt you’ speech—had a powerpoint and everything, told him i loved him, basically got down on one knee with the contract. and this little shit stared me in the face wearing my fucking hand-me-downs, and was like ‘i think we should just be friends’ like how in the hell-

Jason, weakly from the floor: god i’m- please, i’m in pain,

Tim and Damian: *awkwardly watching Bruce rant while Jason cries on the floor next to him*

Tim and Damian:

Damian: this may have been a mistake-

Tim: does this mean that Jason being adopted was basically just Dick breaking up with Bruce and Bruce being so heartbroken that he went and rebounded with the first kid he found on the nearest street corner?

Bruce: *pauses rant*

Bruce:

Bruce: WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYING THAT?

Jason: *starts laughing even louder*

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 85 (masterpost here)

*wrapper crunching* *straw slurping*

Dick, absently: moon's pretty tonight.

Damian: *grunt of affirmation*

Bruce: don't get too comfortable; we have two hours until the shipment drops, this is just a temporary break.

Dick: *dramatic groan*

Jason: -can you just for once live in the fucking moment? we have burritos. we're all here together. shut the fuck up.

Bruce, bemused: i'm just warning you against getting too bloated before the mission, chum. i don't want you to get an upset stomach.

Damian: he's calling you fat, by the way.

Dick: *snort*

Bruce: i'm not- i'm not calling you-

Jason: you are though, you're fully calling me fat,

Bruce, resigned: Hood,

Tim, suddenly: -you know what i realised earlier?

*a beat*

Dick, laughing slightly: alright, Tim's just- Tim's just in his own world,

Bruce: don't be mean, and we're still on patrol here. no names. what did you realise?

Tim: i was just thinking about how Jason and Dick are the only two of us that had to find out that Bruce was Batman.

Bruce, sighing heavily: names,

Damian, dry: Father there is nobody within fifty feet of us.

Jason, ignoring him: whaddaya mean?

Tim: like. i figured it out myself and knew before i ever became Robin. Damian's known from birth because it wasn't ever a secret in the league; of the official Wayne kids, you two are the only ones that had to actually be told and 'find out'. Dick, you were told after you were taken in, right?

Dick: *humming* actually, he tried to keep it from me at first.

Tim: he did?

Jason: oh that's right. 'cause you were taken in by Bruce Wayne; i was taken in by Batman. you found out Bruce was Batman, i had to find out that Batman was Bruce.

Bruce: was there really much of a difference? and Nightwing, you found out literal days after i brought you home.

Dick: yeah but not because you told me.

Damian: how did you find out?

Dick, dismissive: oh i just watched him walk into his clock and disappear and decided to follow him. he was not that great at hiding. i'm pretty sure he forgot i was in the building.

Bruce: i did not forget you were in the building—you were my ward, Dick, i knew you would have to know about the Batcave eventually.

Tim: how did you react? were you freaked out?

Dick: honestly it was so long ago i barely remember not knowing, my memories are all fuzzy and mixed up. B, do you remember?

*shifting*

Bruce, considering: you were pretty excitable; especially once you realised i was looking into your parents’ murder. i'd been getting worried about you beforehand, because you were starting to act out quite a bit, and Alfred said you didn't seem to have any outlets to let out your anger, so it seemed like a positive opportunity to let you run around a bit.

Dick: yeah, i remember laughing a lot...

Bruce: kind of 'maniacally'.

Jason: *snorts*

Dick: that tracks.

Bruce, humming in interest: to be honest, i think between the two of you, Jaylad had the best reaction.

Jason, confused: i did?

Bruce, bemused: do you not remember what you said?

Jason: no?

Tim: this is something that B found funny? ok see now i'm interested.

Damian: i actually don't know much about how you were acquired by Father.

Jason, snorting: 'acquired'.

Dick, gleeful: fuckin' great story. all round favourite, by far. good memories.

Jason,dryly: you hated me back then.

Dick: times change, littlewing.

Tim: how did the whole reveal thing happen, then?

Bruce: well i took him home pretty much instantly after meeting him, because it was clear that he didn’t have anywhere else to stay, and i guess i… saw a little bit of myself in him.

Tim: aw,

Jason: eugh.

Dick, brightly: s’ a fun way to say you picked up a strange young boy off the street and dragged him to your weird creepy mansion.

Bruce, exasperated: why must you put a perverted spin on everything i do?

Dick: because it’s how i show my love~

Jason: *snickers*

Damian: surely part of the responsibility lies with Jason, for being confronted by an ominous strange man who offered to take him home, and deciding to just go with it.

Jason: oi- don’t you victim blame.

Damian: well why the hell did you agree?? you didn’t know him.

Jason: i dunno. i figured there were three options, one: he’s genuine and i’m about to live out Annie as the main character, two: he thought i was a child hooker and young-Jason was bouta get paid,

Bruce: jesus.

Jason: or three: he’s a child murderer, upon which- listen i was a bit of a delusional child. like, i thought i could steal Batman’s tires. i fully thought if he tried to kill me that i could just kick him in the nuts and then dart off with a great new story to tell people.

Dick, in wonder: you just did not have any sense of self preservation,

Jason: i had self preservation—i was just tired and he caught me on a bad day, so i didn’t give a shit.

Bruce, cutting in: well- whatever the reason, it was one of the best decisions i ever made, so i’m happy it turned out well.

Jason, amused: mhm, mhm, go on.

Bruce: well to get back on topic; i brought you back to the Batcave and we discussed you spending a few nights to see how you felt, and Alfred came down so i could discuss with him how to go about fostering you and you got to meet him, and then after he left you asked me ‘if that was my carer and if Batman was really just a mentally disabled man that kept dressing up and escaping home’.

Dick: *gleeful cackles*

Jason: alright that does- *wheeze* that does ring a bell,

Tim, casual: you are such an asshole, man.

Jason, very happy: i know.

Bruce: after that i had to explain what was above the Batcave, which obviously revealed my identity,

Jason: i was kinda- i mean, i don’t remember specifics, but i was quite calm about it all, wasn’t i? i don’t remember freaking out.

Bruce: you were, but to be fair you’d already gotten in a car with a stranger and let me take you to the cave under my house, so i think if you suddenly then regained the ability to have appropriate reactions to things, that would be concerning.

Jason: …point.

Bruce: do you remember what you said to me after i explained my identity?

Jason: no?

Bruce: …*amused sigh* you calmly listened while i explained, reacted with nothing, and then you just started echoing what i’d told you.

Jason: right…?

Bruce: you told me, ‘so Batman is Bruce Wayne.’ and i said yes,

Dick: mhm,

Bruce: and then you said, ‘and Nightwing is Dick Grayson’,

Jason: yeah.

Bruce: and then you cocked out a hip, pointed up at the entrance to the manor, and you said ‘and i’m guessing Alfred Pennyworth is the Riddler, because ‘he just has a British accent’ my ass, that old bitch was talking in code.’

Tim: *starts laughing*

Jason: …DID I?!?!

Dick: *wheeze* you- you don’t remember?

Jason: NO?!

Bruce, fond: i remember. i told Alfred after you went to bed that night. i told him that was the moment i knew you were gonna be my kid.

Tim: *wheeze* you know- you know Alfred always told me that Jason was the most difficult when he first came to the manor, and i always thought that was weird because everybody else says Dick was way worse. but now- *wheeze*

Damian: -now it makes sense. you made him an enemy after your first interaction.

Jason: I DON’T REMEMBER SAYING THIS?!?! -i mean- *snort* i’ll take credit, that’s fucking funny, but still. did i have that much trouble with his accent!?!

Bruce: i don’t think it was that you couldn’t understand him; Alfred just has a very traditional and olden-style British accent, and you apparently had been friends with a couple modern-British kids that lived in the alley, because you always used to argue with me after Alfred left the room that ‘they didn’t sound like that’.

*a beat*

Bruce: it really used to bug you for some reason.

Dick, cackling: NO I- NO I REMEMBER- I DO REMEMBER- fuck, Jay, do you not remember one of your conspiracy theories back then was that Alfred wasn’t actually British?! you thought he was fucking lying.

Jason: …holy shit i actually do.

Tim: *wheezes* oh my god,

Bruce: you accepted it eventually, but it took you a while to get there with him.

Dick, eager: i don’t wanna- i don’t wanna hear shit from people about me being difficult when i first got taken in; Jason showed up and instantly started fighting with the sixty year old about how his fucking voice sounds,

Jason, laughing incredulously: i mean- i mean it is a very stereotypical old-english accent?!?! i didn’t think those existed anymore.

Damian: and yet your favourite book genre is old english classics?

Bruce: i think that was what got him to drop it, actually. there was an evening where Alfred read a Jane Austen book out loud to him, and afterwards he came into my bedroom to shake me awake and tell me ‘ok i get it now’.

Dick: *loud wheeze*

Tim, struggling not to laugh: -because the matter was just that important, that he had to wake you- *cackles*

Jason, amused: listen- listen this was clearly a point of great stress for young Jason,

Damian: you weren’t stressed about being taken home by a strange man in a bat costume but the guy’s butler’s accent being too theatrical—that freaked you out?

Jason: i- *wheeze*

Bruce: you were a very fun child to have around, Jaylad. i’ll give you that.

Dick: does Alfred agree with that sentiment?

*a beat*

Bruce: he loves you now, that’s all that matters.

Tim and Dick: *lose it*

[nightwingvixen23]

Tim : I already said I was sorry. what more do you want from me

Jason : your sad ass 'sorry' doesnt take the literal stain out of my new fucking shoes. I ought'a pour the rest of that slurpee down your god damn shirt

Dick : can you guys drop it already ?

Tim : well, I'm not wasting money on replacing them so my 'sad ass sorry' is all you're getting

Jason : you wanna bet on that, you little shit ??

Dick : come on Jay, just let it slide

Jason : I'm not lettin nothing slide. not even the cha cha *threateningly to Tim* ...this was your last time gettin funky

[nightwingvixen23]

Tim : I already said I was sorry. what more do you want from me

Jason : your sad ass 'sorry' doesnt take the literal stain out of my new fucking shoes. I ought'a pour the rest of that slurpee down your god damn shirt

Dick : can you guys drop it already ?

Tim : well, I'm not wasting money on replacing them so my 'sad ass sorry' is all you're getting

Jason : you wanna bet on that, you little shit ??

Dick : come on Jay, just let it slide

Jason : I'm not lettin nothing slide. not even the cha cha *threateningly to Tim* ...this was your last time gettin funky

[nightwingvixen23]

Dick : wait ! I'm coming too.

Wally : no *after taking in Dick's currently wounded state* you're not

Dick : please don't play the hero, Wally. I need you !

Wally : and I need you. which is exactly why you're not coming. better you take that midget with you and head to a nearby safe house

Robin Jason : hey ! you take that back right now you asswipe, Dick is not a midget !

[nightwingvixen23]

Dick : wait ! I'm coming too.

Wally : no *after taking in Dick's currently wounded state* you're not

Dick : please don't play the hero, Wally. I need you !

Wally : and I need you. which is exactly why you're not coming. better you take that midget with you and head to a nearby safe house

Robin Jason : hey ! you take that back right now you asswipe, Dick is not a midget !

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 23 (masterpost here)

Steph, wandering into the kitchen: hey, Alfie, B says you're doing a grocery shop later today, can i add tampons to the list of stuff for the patrol supplies?

Alfred, glancing over from polishing silverware: of course, Miss Brown. perhaps you'd like to add it to the list on the fridge?

Steph: hm-? oh, yeah, thanks.

Tim, working on his laptop at the kitchen island: the fuck do you need tampons for patrol?

Steph: *squints at him* well i sure as fuck ain't doing it in a pad? do you know how unsafe i would feel?!

Tim, raising an eyebrow: why do you need anything? doesn't it all stop once you start swinging around?

*silence*

Alfred: *pauses, slowly turns his head to stare into the side of Tim's skull*

Steph, calmly: ...what?

Tim: it's like swimming right? you start jumping around and moving a lot and your body recognises that you don't want to bleed, so it stops the flow until you settle down.

Alfred:

Steph:

Steph, keeping her face impressively straight: ...yes. it is- *throat clear* that is why that happens, you're right, it does usually stop on patrol. but- *thinking intensely* i... got a scratch on my thigh... earlier... and it keeps bleeding, has all day. so i'm kinda worried that blood coming out of my thigh will confuse my body, because of- *bites lip* because of the close proximity. and i think it might decide that since my thigh is bleeding that it should just keep all the other flows going as well, so i'm just- i'm just making sure. to be careful.

Alfred: *slowly turns to stare at Steph instead*

Tim:

Tim: ok i guess that makes sense.

Steph, once Tim turns back to his laptop: *gleefully punches the air*

Tim, eyes narrowing: wait,

Steph, the face of innocence: hm?

Tim: how come your body can stop the period blood but not the thigh blood?

Steph: oh. well, that's just a 'me' issue, really. i've never been that good at the whole blood-bending thing.

Alfred: *closes eyes in resignation*

Tim: blood-bending- what?

Steph: blood-bending? the- you know all girls can control their blood flow, right? that's why Avatar only showed women water-benders learning how to blood-bend. because it was already a thing irl.

Tim:

Tim, dubious: ok now you're fucking with me.

Steph, narrowing eyes in confusion: no? dude, i'm being completely serious, did you- how did you not know about this? that's how we control our periods, man. all females have a slight innate ability to bend their own blood. it's just that the extent to which we can varies from person to person and day to day. i've always been kinda weak with it, so i guess that's my bad. Babs has always been pretty good at it, though.

Dick, walking in: 'sup, kiddies. Babs is good at what?

Steph: i was just telling Tim about how all women can blood-bend and that's how they control their periods. can you believe the health education program at his school failed so badly he didn't know?!?

Dick:

Dick:

Dick, turning to Tim: yeah Babs was always really good at it.

Tim: seriously?!!?

Dick, without a hint of humor: 100%. anyway i gotta go, see you guys later.

Steph, perking up: oh, can i get a ride actually? i need a new jacket.

Dick: sure.

Damian, wandering in as Dick and Steph leave: Pennyworth, Jason is requesting he be alerted when you go to the store so he can accompany you.

Alfred, blinking: ...oh- yes, that sounds lovely, i'll be sure to let him know.

Tim, curiously: hey Dami, did you know that women can blood-bend, and that's how they turn off their periods when they go swimming?

Damian:

Damian, plain: you're a fucking idiot.

[papayafromtv]

a lot of people keep asking for more expansion on the whole jason todd's PTA war with the HOA association in his neighbourhood in the batcom series, so i feel like i should let you all know i'm not ignoring that. it's just that i took the concept out of the batcom verse to be it's own fic. and the initial estimate for wc was 7k. and it's at like 20k rn. so that's gonna be finished in the next day or two. cause i'm stupid

[papayafromtv]

scenarios Alfred Pennyworth has to be a witness to as a resident of Wayne Manor that the batkids have absolutely no shame in front of whatsoever part 22 (masterpost here)

Alfred, walking past Damian's bedroom at night: *slows, squints through the open door*

Damian: *clearly dressed to go out, buttoning up his shirt*

Alfred: Master Damian?

Damian, calmly: yes, Pennyworth?

Alfred: are you... going out?

Damian: yes, why?

Alfred, narrowing his eyes: i was under the impression that Master Bruce grounded you for the weekend.

Damian, instantly: no, he benched me. he never grounded me, he simply banished me from patrol for a few days. he never specified that i couldn't go out as a civilian.

Alfred:

Alfred: i see. and where, might i ask, do you plan on spending this fine evening out on the town?

Damian: one of my classmates has an older sibling that has gotten us invited to a party on his school's campus. i assure you, i plan on remaining safe and staying away from recreational drugs and heavy drinking.

Alfred: right. and this party doesn't just so happen to be on Gotham University grounds, does it?

*a beat*

Damian: maybe.

Alfred, dryly: the very same party that your father and siblings are currently staking out due to rumours of suspicious rogue activity?

Damian, innocently: well i wouldn't know anything about that, being as i was benched from patrol. i'm simply a young teenager trying to have fun.

Alfred:

Alfred: *sigh* you understand that when your father notices you showing up to his case in nothing but a dress shirt, he will most likely be even more frustrated than if you'd simply snuck out as Robin?

Damian, shrugging: well, my siblings always tell me that i should be more rebellious and teen-like, so i suppose he'll just have to blame them.

Damian: *walks past Alfred, headed down towards the staircase*

Alfred: *silently watches him go*

Alfred:

Alfred, softly to himself: i don't think it's my responsibility to do anything about this. i simply work here.

Alfred:

*distant front door swinging open and shut*

Alfred: he said he would abstain from 'heavy' drinking, not drinking in general, didn't he?

Alfred:

Alfred: he'll be fine.

[papayafromtv]

Damian: yeah i like to take videos of animals i see in the wild. i don't see as much in Gotham as i did back in the league, but there's some cool squirrels around sometimes. Tim: oh you have videos of squirrels? show me, i like squirrels. Dick: yeah let us see! Damian: *gets out phone, brings up video* Tim and Dick: *watching over Damian's shoulder* *distant screams of pain in the back of the video* Tim: Tim: dude where the fuck was this? Damian, absently: this one? i think this was outside Titan's Tower. Tim: Dick: *more screams, crashes and bangs* Dick, casually: hey those screams kinda sound like Tim. Tim: Tim: iS THIS FROM WHEN JASON TRIED TO KILL ME?!? Damian: hm? oh, yeah, probably. Tim: YOU WERE THERE??? Damian: not IN the tower; Jason cracked the window of his car and left me to wait outside with a Kindle. Tim: Dick: Damian: i was reading 'Crime and Punishment'. Tim: WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU THERE?! Damian: i dunno, he just told me he had to run a few errands before he could drop me off at my father's. i didn't know one of the errands was beating up you. Dick: and you heard the screams and just didn't check or worry? Damian: did you see how fat that squirrel was? i was distracted. Tim: oh my god-

[papayafromtv]

OKAY so I just read the batcom Jason Dick lore post and it’s literally so fascinating. I feel like that idea of “it doesn’t really matter anymore if this relationship is healthy, it just simply exists” kind of mindset makes so much sense for Jason, and I really love that Dick was able to emotionally mature enough into being there for his family.

I was wondering how Damien and Tim fit into all of this? I know you got into it a little bit, but it feels like Damien and Tim almost have Bruce as their….grandfather? Type beat? Because they were both heavily raised by a Dick and Jason who were trying to be better parents than they got. But like they’re also brothers? And they do kinda see Bruce as their father?

Anyway, I was just wondering if you could explain more about the Tim Damien dynamic, both with each other and with Bruce and Dick and Jason

I love the batcom series so much and I want to eat the lore as sustenance so thank you for the food

GOD it took me like, two fucking months to answer this and im SO sorry for the delay i promise when things settle down for me schedule wise i WILL eventually get better at keeping on top of answering asks--this one i just wanted to pay proper special attention to because it's talking about batcom dynamics which is. always a sure-fire way to get me to never shut the fuck up. anyway for anybody who doesn't know what this person is talking about i did a massive deep-dive on batcom!jason and batcom!dick's relationships with each other and bruce here, which you can go read if you're curious.

ok for this ask specifically let me make a cup of tea so i can settle down try to articulate my thoughts properly. 

my one thing regarding these characters is that just because a title is used, doesn't necessarily mean the title applies. like i said when talking about jason and dick, they don't really view bruce as a father figure, the same way they don't really view each other as proper childhood-sibling-brothers; even though they all regularly refer to each other as brother/bruce as their adoptive father. titles are just words to them; they've all had so many identities/secret aliases/rebirths/changes to their life that they'll say pretty much whatever the fuck pops into their heads regardless of if it matches the actual emotions and dynamics of the relationship they're supposed to be describing. life as a wayne is just too messy to even attempt to mentally organise into categoric labels. another thing i'll say is that i wouldn't pen bruce as a grandfather-type for either of the younger two, just because i feel like that's more deriving from the concept that because jason/dick have been parental, then bruce automatically couldn't have the same role. that's not what i think happens here, because i think especially for tim and damian it is perfectly plausible/normal to have multiple people in the same parental role for them. they can have multiple dads, or multiple moms, and they wouldn't blink an eye at that. 

i also think it's worth saying that just off the bat--i think it's far easier for damian and tim to subconsciously develop familial ties with people than it is for jason and dick, due to their upbringings and who they are as people. there's a reason i specifically tend to categorise jason and dick as the 'older ones' and damian and tim as the 'younger ones', and it's not just because jason and dick are the only legal adults, it's also just because dick and jason are the two more likely to be internally mature and independent in the present point in time. i think all four of the batboys grew up in fascinatingly different circumstances, with dick and jason's leading them to be more isolated and independent family-wise (dick was an only child who was then taken in as an only child by non-parental acting figures, and he had no siblings until he was 19 when jason finally came along, and jason like i said in his lore dump grew up completely self sufficient both physically and emotionally because he was smart enough to recognise that nobody around him would take care of him), and tim and damian ending up with the opposite. 

the cool thing about damian and tim is that they were both brought up at first being isolated physically rather than mentally. i think it was different to what jason and dick experienced when they were young because dick obviously grew up in a very social environment, first in a literal circus bursting with colour and culture and people, and then when he was taken in by bruce he threw himself into the hero world--ignoring his issues by being as social as he possibly could and bringing that colour into being a vigilante. he was an extrovert, brucie wayne's little miniature, the pioneer of younger hero-groups. he was a lot of things, but dick grayson was not isolated. jason, too, didn't really have to deal with that. growing up on the streets meant there was a slight sense of community there for jason, and i think i've established pretty well that jason is a hardcore introvert anyway. he prefers being alone, just existing in his own head. when he was taken in by bruce he specifically tried to cut down on social stuff as much as possible because he doesn't thrive on it, so he didn't really experience any kind of negative effect that would come from being physically isolated; he enjoyed that shit.

tim and damian however are completely different stories. both tim and damian are, in varying ways, extroverts. tim's probably more textbook extroverty than damian, but still. they thrive on being around people for different reasons. to focus on tim specifically for a minute, i personally view batcom!tim as a very creative person. i know a lot of people put him down as the analytical obsessive one, but i put those traits more to him being a dreamer than anything else. 

tim was isolated physically as a kid. he was alone in a big manor with nobody to be close to and parents that were barely ever home and who didn't pay him any attention when they were home. he was, obviously, a bit of a 'weird' kid in the sense that he didn't fit in anywhere and other kids didn't like him, so both outside and inside he really was on his own. because of this i think tim was forced to delve into his own head to keep himself happy. he didn't get the enrichment he needed from real life, so i think he dreamed. i think he wished, and he pretended, and he daydreamed to get through the day. it might sound sad, and it probably is sad to be fair, but i think he learned how to be a very creative and colourful person inside his own head because there was nobody around him to provide that colour in real life. he is also, obviously, a very intelligent child as well, which only boosted those other aspects of his personality because they allowed him to learn things and become the kind of person that could only boost those dreams. by the time he was ten he was an isolated child with his head constantly in the clouds who also happened to be the only civilian to figure out batman, robin, and nightwing's identities. i think he watched that bat-world for so long, viewing it as his ideal life, to the point where he enmeshed it in his head with what he actually knew was reality. he probably dreamed so much that he forgot a little bit how to exist in real life, and he had absolutely nobody around him to keep him tethered back to the physical world. the first time he did have that, i think was when jason died and tim realised bruce Needed a robin to function. and boy was that a harsh tether to reality, because bruce was not in the state of mind to be delicate. 

and you know, it would have been harsh, but i also think in a way it was probably necessary for tim to get that level of reality check? i think tim did jump into the robin role with a very starry-eyed vision. he had his dreams and his internalised world where everything was better for him, and although he was devastated that his hero robin was dead, he was still jumping at the idea that by him becoming robin, he could finally live out those dreams. but obviously, being a vigilante is not a dream, and it's not the vision he expected, and you also have to take into account that tim had been living his entire fucking life in his own head--he was probably very self destructive. when everything around you is half-fake and you exist only in your thoughts, then nothing real matters. taking care of yourself, eating, sleeping, getting through life practically; it all disappears. that was the state with which tim first became robin, and i guarantee you it terrified bruce. he just lost jason and right out of the gate the next robin he gets is a kid that doesn't seem all that bothered by being hurt because who cares about being hurt in a dream? so obviously bruce was, initially, very harsh on tim in order to bring him back down to earth. slightly mean? yes. did it do the job? also yes. 

so obviously he was brought back down to earth and given a lot more stability in life by being robin, both in the sense that it kinda killed that romanticised view of what being a bat would be as well as gave him multiple people that actually paid enough attention to him that he stopping needing to entertain himself in his own head as much. the way that i think this aspect of who tim is as a person is relevant to his view of being a part of the family is that it shows he was already pre-accepting of the idea of having these people as his family in the first place. his bio parents didn't fill any kind of parental role and he'd spent the better part of his childhood dreaming of being a part of the wayne family, so for him assigning dick and bruce to those roles was easy--they were pretty much already there, and although at the very beginning bruce was harsh on him, it was very soon after tim came along that both bruce and dick started truly working on themselves both separately and as a family unit, meaning that they both also actively accepted and tried to live up to the role of being tim's brother and father figures. i also think that it's quite important and fortunate that it was tim specifically that was the youngest during this period of time, because although bruce was trying he wasn't just. better overnight. and tim was, in a sense, a little bit delusional/looking through rose-tinted glasses regarding the concept of bruce as a father, so although he had 100% been disillusioned to who bruce was as a parent he was still capable of bouncing back and keeping faith in bruce; helped along, obviously, by the fact that dick was trying this new thing with kid-brother-number-two called 'encouraging forgiveness rather than hate towards your adoptive guardian'. so for tim it's pretty straight forward, dick is his brother (there was never any sense of dick being a father figure to tim; when tim came along dick wanted to make up for being a bad brother to jason, so he never tried to be anything more than a brother to tim and tim never looked to dick for that because he wanted batman) and bruce is his dad, even before he was officially adopted (which happened when he was around 13, a year or so after becoming robin). over the years he's definitely gotten more jaded and grown out of that head-in-the-clouds nature just a bit, as he grows used to being a wayne and everything that involves that, but that aspect of his personality effected him enough before he grew that he'll always subconsciously consider the waynes as his family, and because of that it's easier for him to form that type of bond with other people later on, like when jason and damian show up. it also i think is what made tim the one that pushed so hard to figure out that bruce was trapped in the time stream rather than dead--dick accepted it and started grieving, jason accepted it and had to run away to deal with whether he wanted to grieve or not, damian just... accepted it point blank. but tim didn't, because he is still at his core, partially, that dreaming kid constantly chasing and trying to live out that fantasy life he made for himself when he was little that he somehow managed to somewhat make a reality. bruce couldn't be dead, because tim decided that's his dad and he doesn't want his dad to be gone, so it's not true and he's gonna fix it. luckily, of course, he was right, and now in the present batcom era he can settle down somewhat with everything Better and probably as close to 'normal' that the waynes could ever get. 

now, damian is interesting for a multitude of reasons. like i said before, i see batcom!damian as  a version of extroverted, even if it probably doesn't come across as much as it might with tim. i think damian is a different type of extrovert than tim, in the sense that damian has a much more analytical mind in the way he thinks and interacts with people. he is artistic, like tim, and when he was younger he was obviously a very whimsical kid, liking magic and fantasy, but he's also at his core a very linguistically artistic person--good with words and speaking. this is definitely something he gets from jason, but he is also a wayne and an al ghul, and i think the calculative intelligence and the social dominance that he inherits from talia and bruce mix with that todd-linguistic nature in a way that makes him very good at interacting with people. he's an extrovert less because he genuinely loves and enjoys being surrounded by lots of people at all times, and more because he's very good at navigating interacting with people and figuring out how to benefit from other people's presences. in essence, being manipulative runs in his family for about six different reasons and damian's inherited all of them, even if he isn't selfish about it like he could be. 

obviously it goes without saying for anybody that knows a bit about the batcom universe that damian was isolated before jason came along. he was raised in a cell within an ancient cult to do nothing but train as an heir to the demons head. he literally was isolated in a cell, he had no choice but to be alone. but something that i think a lot of people overlook is that damian has something that none of the other batboys really experienced, that effects his ability to grapple the concept of family, and that's a present and large extended family. 

damian was being raised isolated and groomed to be the perfect soldier, but he was still aware that he was an al ghul, which meant he was obviously aware of who his family was. he knew he had an aunt, an uncle, a grandfather, cousins, and he knew they were those peoples titles. the al ghul family in the batcom universe is obviously a complicated thing--the al ghuls aren't good people and their traditions and ways of life obviously are not healthy or safe in any way, but they are still a family. damian has never disowned or despised who his family is because of what being an al ghul meant for him, instead i think he just learned to embrace the toxicity and abuse and stopped caring at a very young age (which honestly interestingly enough i think 100% contributed to jason's ability to accept his place in the batfamily later on, as well as repair his relationship with bruce. damian could do it with the al ghuls, so why couldn't jason do it with the waynes?). the point is that damian grew up with really weird familial dynamics all around him, with an extended family that he probably didn't see all that often that he still recognised to be his family. on top of that he already knew that his father was bruce wayne before jason even died, so the concept of him having family in gotham wasn't strange to him. it's also worthwhile to point out that he was well used to the concept of just. accepting people as family off the bat before he even went to gotham in the first place--keep in mind the person he's closest to in the world is jason todd, the fourteen year old that just kinda appeared when he was little and talia told him was his brother. gotham is not even close to the first time he's randomly acquired a sibling. 

obviously damian as a whole is slightly more complicated as a person because he is a lab child, in a sense. i think it adds to damian's nature of just accepting the things around him for what they are, because he doesn't really have a choice. everything about his very existence is inherently chaotic and disorganised, from his various extended family tree, to his age and dna being mutated and not following the natural laws of being a child, to the rapid changes in his life; such as going from a cell to being in jason's care, to jason giving him to bruce, to bruce going missing, to bruce coming back again, all on top of his constant juggling of now being both a vigilante and a bat as well as attempting to build a 'normal' civilian life. that sort of living is insane for a child to attempt to mentally organise and comprehend, and so damian just learned not to. it is pretty much impossible to catch him off guard at this point, which i think feeds into a lot of how he is as a person later on; very calm all the time, not reactive to things that the other batkids would be angry/embarrassed/excited about, a little bit OCD when it comes to his surroundings because if he can't figure out what the fuck he is on the inside you can sure bet your ass he's gonna keep control of what's on the outside, and easy to adapt and adjust to wild situations that cause a lot of distress for the others, such as big injuries or when bruce was thought to be dead. tim and jason ran off, dick was grieving his adoptive father, but damian just accepted it and moved on to being dick's robin. because, as he responds with everything else in his life, why not? might as well. 

this obviously effects the way he perceives his relationships with the others, in that it's very easy for him to be told that the waynes are his family and him to just shrug and say 'ok'. obviously one of the few things he's known from the beginning of his existence is that bruce wayne is his biological father anyway, so he knows bruce is his dad, and this is then strengthened by the fact that when jason comes along he is at first introduced as a brother, also a son of bruce.

i do think that quite a lot of how damian feels in reference to the family is at least partially influenced by jason, as is a lot of damian's life anyway. obviously jason is the person he has the strongest bond with out of everybody he knows for a multitude of reasons. jason is probably, ironically, the most stable aspect of damian's life so far. like i said, experiments/hand-wavy science stuff makes his ages while at the league a little up in the air, but i like to think he probably was around six years old when he and jason first met, upon which jason immediately took the kid under his wing. the fun thing about jason and damian at the league is that jason was still definitely a little bit crazy back then--mental and emotional issues topped off with being newly resurrected and imbued with lazarus energy as well as whatever the fuck the all blades does to him. damian was obviously smart enough to recognise the instability within jason, but he also got to watch jason tirelessly and consistently work through/around those little dips of crazy specifically so he could continue to be a guardian figure in damian's life, which would have been the first time that damian had witnessed a family member ever make damian a priority for damian's sake, which no doubt would have been refreshing. there's also the plain aspect that jason just straight up made damian's life a thousand times better--him existing got the rest of the al ghuls off damian's back about being a main heir; he got a proper bedroom, better food, protection. to damian the concept of comfort in general became associated with jason at a pretty young age, which i guess is both a blessing and a curse. the thing is that although he knew that he had a father, bruce wayne, he didn't exactly have a father figure that was actually present and interactive in his life while he was in the league. because of this i think that 100% jason was mentally shoved into that role for damian, even if it became another weird chaotic amalgamation inside his head. jason was both a brother, a guardian, and a dad to him; obviously this was only cemented by jason eventually figuring out how ra's experiment bullshit worked and making himself a biological paternal donor to damian's DNA, making him a technical second biological father. subconsciously, damian views jason as a triple-thread of every kind of family member he'd ever need--and on top of that jason became that thread even while mentally unstable, meaning that damian probably assigned him more trust that he would have originally under the logic that, well, jason didn't leave at his worst, so why would he leave at his best? 

this relationship with jason would of course effect damian's coming to gotham, in the sense that it just adds to damian's whole 'well who cares' attitude towards the family. he knows that he's a wayne, and so he accepts that bruce is his father and by extension dick and tim are his brothers, and it's easy for him to let them fall into that role because why not? might as well. but also because on top of that, regardless of what the waynes end up being to him, he still has jason in the background filling literally every role anyway, so if things go wrong then no harm done. --and to be clear, i do mean in the background. jason was coming and going during those first few years in gotham, he was busy. this didn't bother damian because i imagine jason was also flittering about a lot while at the league so he's kinda used to jason rushing in and out like a damn bumble-bee, and he probably knows ways to contact jason if he ever truly needs him for an emergency. again, damian is a very accepting and quick-to-adapt person, so being alone is something he got over being worried about years ago. 

obviously his relationship with bruce is... slightly weird. he is damian's dad, but he's not damian's only dad, and he did fuck off in the time stream for a year not too long after damian first appeared, which kinda put a dent in their initial relationship's first impression. funnily enough, although damian can be quite protective of jason, i think the strained nature of bruce's relationship with jason was probably what made damian settle into the idea of bruce being a present father figure in the first place. it just made sense to him, you know? that's what an older family member is to him based on what he's experienced--messy and complicated. if he'd shown up and bruce had been picture perfect suburban dad material i think it would have turned damian right off, because how the fuck could he be the picture perfect suburban son to match? but bruce is messy, and complicated, and a massive work in progress, which meant that damian felt he could fit right in and was able to work out a half-decent dynamic with the man. obviously damian is a lot more independent than he probably should be at his age, but i think that's needed for damian in order for him not to feel suffocated after having such a weird and, in a lot of ways, lax early childhood. bruce recognises that, but i also think he recognises that he isn't the only person in damian's life that looks out for him like a parent does--even if he doesn't know the biological extent just yet, and i think it's part of his attempt at healing his relationship with jason to trust that if jason lets damian have that independence, then bruce should probably be ok with damian having it too. 

for the matter of dick, i think again damian subconsciously takes note of jason's relationship with dick before forming his own. obviously dick was his legal guardian while bruce was missing, and i think damian trusted him to take that role because jason so obviously did (damian trusts that jason wouldn't have run off without him to do his little mental-breakdown grief-stricken league visit if he didn't think dick was capable of keeping damian safe), but i also think that he took note of jason and dick's relationship before jason left town for a while, and he would have picked up on the fact that although they were not in any way hostile towards each other, things were... awkward between them. stilted. unknown. cautious. and because of that damian would have held back from fully accepting dick as a parent. i think it really was more of a 'distant uncle taking guardianship' kinda shtick for damian, and they probably ended up being a lot warmer towards each other as brothers when jason came back and damian saw them start to get along again. 

funniest thing about the family is probably that the strongest brotherly bond in my humble opinion, is tim and damian's relationship with ech other. both of them had wildly different childhoods with slightly similar psychological effects in specific aspects, and funnily enough they merge together like fucking magnets because of it. both of them find it easy to just 'accept' people as family, they're young enough that they're around similar stages of mental development, they're both creative and artistic with wildly unrealistic views of the concept of violence/fighting (damian bcs he grew up in the league and tim because he still sometimes forgets he isn't dreaming), and both of them fully accept and embrace bruce as their father. it also goes without saying that they're the only two living in the manor together and they go through quite significant development while around each other--damian slowly learning to trust that being in gotham is stable and figuring out how to be a civilian, and tim finally starting to slow down in his role within the wayne family and grow out of his various untethered-from-life coping mechanisms because he now has a pretty full life to keep him occupied and he's settled into his role as red robin for long enough that it doesn't feel like a dream anymore. in a way, i think damian and tim both grew up being more abstract concepts of a child, rather than being actual human kids; and it's only now together in the present batcom era that they're starting to smooth out into who they really are as singular independent people, which gives them a very childhood-sibling-specific essence to their relationship that the others obviously missed out on getting. 

anyway idk if that makes any sense that's just. how i think of them when i think about the batcom verse. sorry for the length LMFAO

[papayafromtv]

would you ever add Steph to batcoms? I think a Steph Jason dynamic would be really funny.

sorry but nooooo :(

i have a few rules for the batcom verse just to. try and keep it contained and give me less characters to think about/keep track of, bcs obviously theres a lot by now, like my drafts have me up into around. entry mid 90s. so one of the rules i set early on was that the only batfamily members that will ever show up in person are the core-four batboys and bruce (and on a very rare occasion barbara, but that’s specifically to do minor work as oracle rather than to actually hang out). so although other members do obviously exist, they’ll only be mentioned by the boys rather than actually showing up themselves. spoiler, orphan, signal—they all do exist in the verse, ofc, but in my head in this specific verse, although the others are a part of the batfamily, they’re not really a part of the legal wayne family. thats why when talking about them i tend to say the waynes rather than the bats; the core four are the only ones that are legal wards/children of bruce wayne, and the only ones that have lived in the manor. the others are around and batman is a sort of father figure in the sense of bruce will call them his kids, they’re known publicly as close friends of the wayne family, and batman is like their ‘work dad’ but they all have their own personal lives outside the waynes as well, so they aren’t a part of the inner wayne family, which is what i tend to focus on with the batcom verse. SORRY I KNOW THAT DISAPPOINTS PEOPLE i reserve the others for the alfred scenes series bcs i can have more fun with them there, it’s less audio based.

[papayafromtv]

wait! as per your recent damian ask/answer: is he still friends with jon in the batcoms universe? would they eventually find their way to it? i do think jon is really essential in part to damians character development in canon... gasp. does jon even exist in batcoms?????

jon and kon do exist in the verse, and jon and damian i think have met once or twice during missions/jla bullshit, but i dont think currently they are close. not because they dont like each other but literally because the present era in the batcom verse is the first time things have started to Settle Down and become more routine; the years leading up to this era were so full of bullshit and chaos that there was not really any time/reason for damian to get to know jon, and jon isn’t playing as much of an active part in the hero community like kon is so there’s way leas opportunities for them to meet anyway. they 100% Would be friends, but them meeting properly is probably something that would happen around this era/a little in the future so it just. hasn’t occurred yet. i think jon probably wouldn’t be As Important to damian’s development as he usually is bcs of this—not because they wouldn’t be as close, they’d be besties, but just bcs damian has positive relationships with other people that effect him in that way before jon ever shows up (personally off-screen i headcanon duke to have quite a good role in damian’s life; jason likes duke enough that damian would also instinctively take a shine to him too, and duke and damian’s relationship would be a weird mix between friends/brothers that would be so funny)

[papayafromtv]

In batcomm lines, did dick ever hallucinate Jason?

he had nightmares, but no genuine hallucinations/visions, no. he definitely talked to himself out loud when alone and pretended he was talking to jason, but i don't think he ever legitimately saw something that wasn't there/believed he was talking to jason. it was more just him trying to brighten his own mood and avoid the silence.

i'm a big fan of the concept of dick experiencing hallucijason, but i think for it to make more sense that his grief manifests in that way his grief would need to be more centric on the fact that Jason Is Gone, and as much as dick was grieving his adoptive little brother, at the point in time when he was at rock bottom he was less dealing with specific jason-centric grief and more grief for his and jason's childhood, the lacklustre excuse for a family that he'd been pretending was good enough for him, and the realisation that all of his suppression and anger towards bruce was making everything a thousand times worse and was actually negatively effecting other people. jason was gone, but jason being gone meant that the entirety of dick's life and belief system about himself crumbled, so his grief wasn't as jason-centric as i think a lot of people would have assumed.

[papayafromtv]

i'm really not the kind of person who enjoys de-ageing plots normally, but i do think it would be very fun if we had a Red Hood identity reveal au where Damian as Robin gets de-aged to a baby while on patrol one night and he just. Will Not Stop Wailing. he screams like he's about to be murdered any time Batman or Nightwing or Red Robin or anyone even goes near him, even when they try to take off their suits in case it's the masks that are freaking him out. Babian is not fucking having it and he refuses to stop crying, so they bats are just stuck kinda panicking while trying to figure out what to do, because they don't want to scare the baby so bad that he hurts himself or something but also they need to get him home so they can try to fix things???

after a while Red Hood is nearby and, obviously, hearing a kid in such clear distress in the middle of the night means he checks it out, and upon landing nearby and asking what the fuck is going on, the bats have to watch as baby-Damian notices the shiny red of Hood's helmet and armour, instantly recognises him, and crawls over to him to sob and clench his tiny little fists at him in an ask for uppies. and Red Hood obviously takes one look at the baby at his feet, goes 'shit wait- Dami?' and bends down to cradle him like it's the most natural thing in the world.

Hood then has to explain that he knew Robin in the league and helped care from him when he was really little, which is probably why Red Hood is currently the only person in the city that baby Damian recognises/views as safe, and Bruce is left with the annoying realisation that the only way to both keep Damian safe and happy while they figure out how to reverse the de-aging and get his son back to normal, is if he brings the Red Hood back to the cave with them. a man who is supposed to be his enemy and whom none of them realised Damian even knew, because clearly that little shit has been lying about some stuff.

for lack of a better solution they end up cautiously bringing Hood back to the cave, which Jason easily goes along with because the second he clocked baby Damian his paternal/protector instincts took over and he doesn't currently care about anything but keeping Damian happy. so there's a period of time where the bats are working as hard as possible in the cave to figure out a way to get Damian back to normal while also warily keeping an eye on Hood to make sure he doesn't try snooping around/go up to the manor/start shit, and Jason is just. not even clocking that this is a worry for them. he's genuinely just zeroed in on Damian like an activated sleeper agent, humming lullabies and changing diapers and even letting the baby clumsily try to take off his helmet because he wants to see Jason's face. Jason lets him, because he still has the mask on underneath, but it's still the first time any of the bats have seen under the helmet and so Dick and Tim end up on the other side of the cave watching with dropped jaws as Jason lets Damian play in his helmet -which he's like. small enough to sit in.- like... is that a fucking teenager under there???

Bruce finally figures out how to get Damian back to normal and when they fix him he comes back really disorientated and not really understanding what the fuck's been going on, so when he blinks open his eyes all dizzy and trying to gain his bearings he clocks Jason's face as one of the first things he sees and without thinking he just goes 'wait- Jason? what the fuck happened, where am I?'

all the bats turn in unison to stare at Jason in question and Jason just freezes in place. like. 'god i wish you'd just stayed a baby.'

'you wish i'd stayed a fucking what-?'