a

21

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

I hate my dad

sometimes I wonder if I was born hateful

If my veins first flowed with the burn of hate

He is cruel but he was made that way

While I seem to be carved from hate and cruelty

I was taught love from my siblings

But I doubt that love would flow to my father

He has had enough , I won't give him mine

Sometimes it feels as though I was born to hate

As I really hate my father

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

I catch myself wondering if I could've known you before I called you mom

What would be different?

To have you look at me and see me, not the one you couldn't be and not the one who took it away

To be known as the girl who loves to write, the girl who loves to point out the moon

I don't want to be a thief in your eyes, not anymore

I want you to look at me and see your daughter

Not the girl who stole your life

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

What do you believe faith to be?

Is it the words some people preach,

The wind beneath the swaying trees

Or the a way a pet waits at the door for their owner?

Maybe you're as unsure as I am

For I hold faith in the way my sister braids her hair

And I hold faith in my brother when he talks of touching the stars

Do I have to wear a wooden cross and read from a book that holds no meaning to me

Just for you to view the faith I have in them as important as you hold yours?

-A

[roamingthemilkyway]

Free Palestine!

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

Why aren't we close anymore?

Was it you

Or was it me?

If we tried harder

Would you be sitting here now?

If we were smarter

Would we have figured this out?

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

as gentle as the whispering wind,

as sharp as the winter cold

and as kind as you've been shown

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

pretty bird in the sky

flying so up high

up above the clouds

down below the trees

pretty bird in the sky

just happily

passing by

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

There was a tall, sturdy, tree in our backyard

It felt endless

I don't know what kind of tree it was

But I know I thought it was the tallest

I thought it was forever

Laying by the roots and watching the leaves,

It felt forever

It always seemed to stand as tall as the sky

But when I left and I saw the drooping branches

The leaves that had fallen and the sky, which turned gray

I knew no matter what I wished

Not everything stayed

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

I think I'm scared to be permanent

To be remembered, to be stuck, for all eternity

Trapped in a image of my own making

I don't want to be remembered

I want to be known

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

I wish I could go back in time, and soothe little me's doubts

The ones that clouded my vision

I'd show her that her decision mattered

It mattered to me

And I'd tell her how thankful I am she made it

I would tell her about the things I've experienced

And show her the things I've done

I wish I could express how sorry I am

How proud of her I am, for staying here

Every day I try to be someone she'd feel safe with

I'd give her what I never had

Thank you little me

For putting on a bandage, and throwing out the pills

Thank you for giving me life

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

Oh to be a flower in a meadow

Unconcerned with the travels of life

To simply live and enjoy the sun

Never wondering your place

Or having to question what you know

A flower moving with the wind

But still rooted in place

To know where you belong

Even if you're shaken by the rain

A flower in a thunderstorm

Shaken maybe removed

But knowing the peace of life

Something removed will always have been

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

I often feel alone

It envelops me until I can't think about anything else

Maybe I could tell someone

I never really tried

I wonder how it would feel to finally let go

To trust the people around me

Will I ever know?

If I ever do would they make me regret it?

They wouldn't do that, right?

They care about me

I don't want to doubt them

Why do they have to earn trust they never broke?

Why do I always make myself walk alone?

Why do I feel as though I deserve it?

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

Writing by the candlelight is often said to inspire you

To make you full of something only you can describe

It's said to help you write something that is wholly you

And while I sit here to wait

I can't help but think I'm too late

Maybe someone already wrote what's mine

Well, if that's true, I suppose it can't be called mine anymore

Because as the minutes grow with how long I sit here

The candle only blinds me with how it's near

No indescribable feelings rise in me

There's nothing making me want to fill the page with my soul

Maybe that's a good thing

To not be fractured by a simple light

Should I rip myself open to spill on the page

How do I do that and be not afraid

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

Looking into the vastness of space

Not knowing if someone will reply

It helps me understand the true meaning

Of the word loneliness

-a

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

I feel like my body's failing me

I'm always sick

I can tell it's getting annoying

I would stop if I could

But I don't know how

It hurts a lot

I almost want to cry

But I can't

And I won't

I don't want to cause

Any more problems

Maybe if I ignore it

It will go away

Maybe it'll take me with it

Will that be okay?

-apocalypse

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

Loving someone filled with sorrow

Hurts as much as

Loving someone who isn't there

Two different hurts

And yet equal impact

Why does loving always hurt?

Is me existing not enough?

What more can I do for you?

Why do I always have to play savior?

-apocalypse

[tryingmyhandatpoetry]

Stressed beyond measure

I pick away at my work little by little

But the pile is so big

It's crushing me, this pressure

Am I falling?

I can't tell anymore

What if I can't get up?

Will anyone notice?

I don't know what I should do

-apocalypse