Dangerous

[[Hiatus until August 25th at least.]] Amber Josephine Liu | 20 | patient at TS S/O: Lesbian R/S: Single Tracking | Style | Disclaimer

[tsjiyeon]

I probably have once. It’s just that I never have really been anywhere other than school and home. {’ she realizes that she probably sounded racist, or extremely sheltered, or most likely both, and shakes her head.} I mean, I live in kind of a quieter part of town, where foreigners don’t really go. {’ nods.} Ah, I would love to. But, after what happened to me, my mom’s probably going to lock me up even more. {’ sighs.} Anyway, may I ask how you got here?

[tsamber]

I suppose it's not that common to see foreigners in some parts of Seoul, that makes sense. /nods along/ If your mom keeps you locked up maybe I should come and help you sneak out to go places. /chuckles again/ How I got here? I made a mistake. Simple as that. I introduced my girlfriend to my parents and they weren't all too delighted with the news that I had one. I say had because she left me the same night. /shrugs/ It's not that big of a deal though. What about you, how did you initially get stuck here?

[tsjiyeon]

That is true. I think it’s because they think we’re listen if they’re louder, when all in all, it just makes us feel like shit. {’ bites the inside of her cheek.} Oh, Taiwanese-American. I see. To be honest, i think you’re the first non-Korean I’ve met. {’ blinks.} Well, I understand that Seoul is nice and all. But, I guess I haven’t gotten much of a chance to see it because my parents are rather…they didn’t like the idea of me being free. Or out of their reach, at least. 

[tsamber]

/raises her eyebrow/ Wow, they really are stupid, aren't they? /chuckles a little/ Really now? I'm the first? You didn't meet any non-Koreans before outside this place? /pauses as you speak before she hangs her head a little/ Ah, that explains a lot. Maybe when you get out of here you should have a look around the city? I mean you deserve that much after they locked you up here.

[tsareum]

I’m glad too. (/ chuckles and flashes you a bright smile) I wouldn’t recommend skipping though. Unless you want to enjoy the consequences of it. Although I still don’t know what I’ll get for skipping therapies; I wish it’d stay this way. (/ tilts her head a bit) Mhm yeah, maybe that could work. It’s not like any of the two of us will ever come to that point where we admit that we are ill, because we’re obviously not. (/ nods slowly) I’m wondering what punishment we could get for that. Though, I’m not really sure if I really want to know. (/ frowns) Perhaps I should do the same; I guess it’d make me feel better if I just randomly helped other people. I believe. (/ shakes her head) I wouldn’t let you suffer alone, obviously, so don’t even think of anything like that.

[tsamber]

Honestly, I doubt it's all that bad. What exactly can they do to someone for skipping therapy? /raises an eyebrow/ Doesn't seem like there's anything they can really do to beat my spirit at least, so I'll stick to being me and not accepting their nonsense. If they don't like that, that's their problem, not mine. And really, if they're going to get on anyone's back about standing up against them and their nonsense, it's going to be me. I have a way of not being very subtle about how I feel about things like that. So if anyone's going to find out what punishment we'll get for that, it's me. No need to worry all that much. I'm a fighter, so even if they knock me down I'll get back up. /shrugs, a small smile showing on her face/ Maybe you should try helping others. See if it helps you. I'm thinking it will.

[tsjiyeon]

I mean, it kind of depends. The staff here and therapy get harder. I’m guessing it’s because they want you out of here as soon as possible, or they just don’t like the idea of handling people like us. {’ shrugs.} That stands for Los Angeles, correct? {’ she hums quietly. feeling a bit embarrassed at how she pronounced the city’s name.} No, no, I can understand you. Are you Korean? {’ blinks.} I’m from here. Seoul, I mean. I’ve been here all my life, sadly.

[tsamber]

/nods along as she listens to you speak/ Whatever it is, it's not really going to help anyone if they get harsher. Then again it's not like they actually care about helping us so why would they bother taking that into consideration. /snorts lightly at the thought/ Yeah, Los Angeles. I'm not Korean. Taiwanese American. /shrugs/ Sadly? Do you not like life in Seoul? /tilts her head slightly/

[tsareum]

(/ a soft chuckle escapes her and her smile brightens up a little bit, patting your arm with a hand) It’s okay, thank you. I appreciate your efforts and the fact you want to make me feel better itself makes me happier a bit. (/ nods as in verifying her words) But how exactly should we do that? Refuse you to do as they command us? I tried skipping therapies once. I got caught and it wasn’t a very good experience. (/ bites her inner lip) I also believe that there are a lot of the patients who wouldn’t take the risk, which makes it more difficult for us to achieve what we want. (/ tilting her head to the side a bit, she eyes you and nods as she listens to your words) I see, that’s respectable. I like helping people as well, but I don’t seek for opportunities to do so, if you know what I mean? (/ frowns slightly) I love that mindset. I feel a little bit less rebellious now that I know others are thinking the same way as I do.

[tsamber]

Oh, alright... I'm glad I could help at least in some way.. /smiles lightly, looking at the floor for a moment before her gaze meets yours again/ I was thinking of things like skipping yes. That, or simply not taking any of the nonsense they try to pin on us. I'm not about to pretend my sexual orientation is a disorder. It's not and I'm not going to call it that either, nor will I pretend I'm not gay. If they want to punish me for that then fine. I'm prepared. /shrugs a little/ I look for people to help because that's what I like to do. Besides helping others feel better about things in itself is a good thing, so I have no reason not to. And really, don't worry, if we're going for rebellious, I'm probably a lot worse than you are. So if they want to screw someone over for it, it'll be me, not you. I'll take one for the team I guess. /chuckles dryly/

[tsmiyoung-blog]

Getting lost is fun in general! You know, if you’re somewhere safe… -smiles at the thought, offering an example as she turns a corner and gestures for you to follow- Like, I’d rather get lost in a building like this than, say, in the woods. It’s an adventure but you’re not going to die if you don’t find your way soon. -starts to laugh, nodding to answer your question- Yes, it’s all pretty much like this… but it’s not so bad.

[tsamber]

I understand what you mean. It's still interesting, but there's not much of a risk. Then again I'd rather be out in the woods right now than stuck in here, but that's a whole different story. /sighs, shaking her head a little/ Though I suppose this place could've looked much worse. So I'll just feel lucky for that then.

[tsjiyeon]

Eh, I guess the longer you’re here, the worse it gets. But, maybe that’s just me. Oh well. {’ shrugs.} At least you’re settling in well. Where are you from?

[tsamber]

/raises an eyebrow/ So it gets worse than this? Better prepare myself in that case. /grins weakly/ Oh, I'm from LA, you know, America. Sorry if I'm a little hard to understand sometimes. My Korean still isn't all that good. /sighs a little/ And you?

[tsareum]

I don’t like giving up either and probably I’m still going to have a few moments where I’d try to get out somehow, but I’m not nearly as hopeful and enthusiastic about it as before. So yes, let’s just be realistic instead. (/ nods) I think the only way of getting out of here besides becoming straight is probably death. I’m not even sure if parents could be able to bring their child home if they changed their mind. (/ shrugs lightly) Maybe? It’d be great if that worked. Perhaps if all of us stood up for ourselves… (/ shakes her head quickly) I really don’t have any idea what effects would that cause. (/ nods) I know right? There’s so much hatred towards homosexual people in this world. Well, towards other people as well, but that’s a different story now. (/ sticks out her tongue to the side a bit before pressing her lips together) Yes, I guess they’d definitely feel better about it if we stood up, but unfortunately, it wouldn’t change a lot. 

[tsamber]

/looks at you, a slightly concerned expression on her face/ Honestly, I want to help you feel better, but I'm not sure how I can do that. /presses her lips together as she thinks/ We could stand up for ourselves. I don't know what it would bring, but it can't be anything worse than this. I'm willing to try and see what happens at least. But I guess not everyone is able to take that risk. /nods a little again/ Making others feel better somehow seems like a valid goal to me. But that's kind of who I am. I love helping people, making them happy, besides, I can't sit still in here. I'm not about to let these people whine at me and try to change me and do nothing about it. If I'm going to be stuck here, I'm going to make sure I have as much fun as possible.

[tsamber]

odd numbers for Areum

1: Age 20. 3: Do you smoke? Nope. 5: Do you take drugs? Also nope. 7: Have tattoos? Yeah. /holds up her left wrist, showing a small tattoo of the words 'faith' and 'pray' crossing each other/ 9: Got any piercings? Mhm. A few. But they're all on my ears. Cartilage on my left ear and just besides the earring one on my right ear. /shows the piercings as she talks about them, plucking on each lightly/ 11: Best friend? Haven't talked to them in ages. /frowns a little/ 13: Biggest turn ons /chuckles a little/ Ah well, 15: Favorite movie I don't really have a favourite. 17: Someone you miss My friends, haven't seen them in ages. My parents I guess. Oh and my sister. Definitely miss Jackie. 19: A fact about your personality I'm very stubborn about not letting anyone change me or try to at all. 21: What I love most about myself If I want something, I'll work hard to get it. 23: My relationship with my sibling(s) Me and Jackie get along pretty well. 25: My idea of a perfect date It really depends. Though I guess for me it largely depends on the person the date is with. 27: A description of the girl/boy I like I don't really like anyone right now. 29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend Because I didn't want to accept something. 31: What my last text message says No idea. Don't have a phone any more. 33: What words make me feel the best about myself Not really any specific words, but it makes me happy when I'm able to make someone else happy. 35: What I find attractive in men Nothing. Into girls. 37: One of my insecurities I fear that maybe I won't be able to find a way out of this without losing a lot of people I care about. 39: My favorite ice cream flavor It really depends on my mood. 41: Where I want to be right now Back home. 43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately Right now? Mila Kunis.

[tsamber]

All the odd numbers!

I should’ve known…

Alright then. I’ll make a post.

[tsareum]

I seriously don’t think we can get out of here anyhow anymore. (/ furrows her eyebrows) I wanted to hope that, but I was thinking a lot about it in the past days and I just kinda accepted it that there’s no chance. (/ nods in agreement) Yes, you’re right. At least it makes things more interesting, doesn’t it? (/ nods again, humming quietly) I agree with you so, so much. This is why the world is so screwed up, how can people expect it to be better when they don’t even let everyone be themselves? 

[tsamber]

/frowns a little as she thinks for a moment/ I want to tell you not to give up hope, but I understand what you mean. If we're going to be realistic, we know there's almost no chance we're getting out of here. Or well not without losing everyone we care about apparently. /sighs/ Maybe we can change some minds by standing up for ourselves. Perhaps it'll even help others keep their hopes up, who knows. There's people that aren't even here that're being treated like they're worthless because of their homosexuality, it's horrible, but it's true. I like to think that somehow they might see us stand up and feel a little better about things. /nods along/

[tsamber]

i know you wanna be nosy. here's your chance.

0: Height

1: Age

2: Shoe size

3: Do you smoke?

4: Do you drink?

5: Do you take drugs?

6: Age you get mistaken for

7: Have tattoos?

8: Want any tattoos?

9: Got any piercings?

10: Want any piercings?

11: Best friend?

12: Relationship status

13: Biggest turn ons

14: Biggest turn offs

15: Favorite movie

16: I’ll love you if...

17: Someone you miss

18: Most traumatic experience

19: A fact about your personality

20: What I hate most about myself

21: What I love most about myself

22: What I want to be when I get older

23: My relationship with my sibling(s)

24: My relationship with my parent(s)

25: My idea of a perfect date

26: My biggest pet peeves

27: A description of the girl/boy I like

28: A description of the person I dislike the most

29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend

30: What I hate the most about work/school

31: What my last text message says

32: What words upset me the most

33: What words make me feel the best about myself

34: What I find attractive in women

35: What I find attractive in men

36: Where I would like to live

37: One of my insecurities

38: My childhood career choice

39: My favorite ice cream flavor

40: Who I wish I could be

41: Where I want to be right now

42: The last thing I ate

43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately

44: A random fact about anything

[tsareum]

Eventually. That’s the point. Who knows how long ‘eventually’ stands for? (/ frowns and clenches her jaw) Yes, that’s one of the reasons why I don’t even bother doing that. Also it’s useless since we don’t know how long we’re staying here, so no need to count the days anyways… (/ sighs) Yes, but even if I pretended, they wouldn’t believe it. So screw it. (/ shakes her head) I… can’t let them. I don’t want to. Even though probably that would be the best, but… still. Rebelling against them makes me feel somewhat better.

[tsamber]

Waiting is hard but it's basically the only thing we can do at this point, at least about getting out of here without losing our families that is. /shrugs lightly/ Rebelling is just something we can do to keep our spirits up. /nods a little/ They can act all they want but I won't act along. There's no point in lying about who I am because it's not going to make me different. Besides that who I am is not a problem. No matter how much they act like it is, it's not going to become true all of a sudden.

[tsjiyeon]

Oh, I see, I see. {’ nods.} Well, how are you adjusting so far?

[tsamber]

Better than I thought I would. /nods slowly/ I sort of assumed it would be harder to find friendly people than it turned out to be. I'm glad though.

[tsmiyoung-blog]

Oh good! It’s not like it’s the end of the world if we get a bit lost, though. -nods, looking around as they walk, her forehead creasing slightly as she furrows her brows thoughtfully- It’s just all the halls look the same in some areas, I don’t always remember where I’m supposed to go…

[tsamber]

Yeah, you're right. There is something fun about getting a little lost around here. At least then things will be interesting. /nods along as she looks around/ So, everything kind of looks like this? /tilts her head as she looks back at you/ ... I guess it could've been worse. /chuckles lightly/

[tsareum]

Yes, I have the same opinion. I can’t even imagine parents denying and disowning their child for such a stupid and insignificant reason, really. Especially when they only have one child, like my parents. If I was in their shoes, I’d learn to accept my kid no matter what instead of throwing them away. Sometimes I wonder if they miss me at all. (/ chews on her lower lip, trying to control her facial expression) I’ve been here for two weeks now approximately. I’m not really keeping track of time since I got here. (/ nods a bit) Yeah I guess, hoping for a miracle is the best option for us; there’s really nothing else we can do. I’m still not sure how doctors would prove that a patient has been cured. Like, they obviously wouldn’t believe if one said they became straight – how can they make sure it’s true then? (/ sighs) That’s true.

[tsamber]

I'm sure they miss you. You're still their daughter, even if for some reason they're angry with you because of how you are, they should be able to get over it... eventually. /sighs lightly/ I suppose counting days is a bad idea while you're in here. It'll just make you realize how much time you're wasting with this. There is no cure because it's not a disease or a disorder. I suppose they claim you're cured the moment you pretend you're not gay any more. That's not really going to work though, but hey, apparently it's their little theatre so I guess I'll just let them act as much as they want.

[tsmiyoung-blog]

Oh yes, it’s good to make everything into an adventure. Makes life more exciting. -watches closely as you begin down the hall, giggling again and catching up with a few quick bounces, falling into step beside you and looking over with a smile- This place is bigger than it seems, it’s easy to lose track of where everything is.

[tsamber]

/smiles back at you, suppressing another chuckle, amused by your bouncing/ Well I guess it wouldn't be an adventure without the risk of getting lost. Though I do have a pretty good sense of direction so I'm sure we'll find our way around here.