20/12/22
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

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@tulipsaftermidnight
20/12/22
part three
part two
part one of a trilogy, written in july
since when was it supposed to be difficult to breathe? i’ve felt this way ever since
emptiness filled me brim and i thought “what am i without you?” “everything”
but nothing if you refuse to look at me again do not deny it, it is etched in both of our memories
sometimes i see you and my breath just stops no, i’m not in love anymore but there’s something about seeing you and being unable to think “that’s my girl”
“grief is proof that love was there, and probably still lingers…”
sometimes, i wonder what a soulless life would be like without the complexities of emotions the reasonless crying
life isn’t made to be rational always treading through a cobweb no light in sight, but finding something at the end of the day isn’t that what makes us, us?
“i have a tendency to overanalyse and get mad because no one else does”
every picture i snap is an appreciation of who you are
so many angles, but we know we’re the same
i leave my bed, unspoken can’t read signs, always appear in my favour my fatal flaw makes me weak
maybe i hallucinated everything the thought of you, leaning onto my shoulder and soft glances of irritance may have just been exasperation
i need to stop, thinking so hard all the damn time you have her and she’s pining and i can’t be all that she can i’m just a girl, constantly torn and i will always. chose. my faith. but my heart, i am not so certain about
please, love her. leave me in shambles that is all i require.
24 may 24
the louvre
sat by the ledge with rain drizzling matching pinks, thought i wouldn’t catch it stifled giggles echo uncontrollably can’t get away with your adorations
always taken as the muse, candid angles apologising for photographing someday a glass steinway will inhabit my room just for the hope that you’ll come by eyes twinkling again, you do it effortlessly
nothing compares to the luxury of knowing you
22 may 24
swimming in arabian waters, waiting for you to come claim me
tu alemana
all senses of morality, lost want you to see this but if you do, im so screwed want you to half wish that she wasn’t herself i called it - why did i? she deserves so much but my narcissistic self cannot handle anything why else do you speak that way, it half hugs my heartstrings but i swore i wouldn’t be in such a compromisable situation turned you down once but mentally still on tu novia esta germany?
wie oft sagt sie dir, dass sie dich liebt? tust du auch?
esta bien, muy feliz no i mean, really..
esta vez alguien podrá amarte sin dudarlo :,) (at least this time someone will be able to love you without hesitation)
21 may 24
the devil’s in the details.