Tulkas the Valiant

May Eru have mercy upon my enemies, because I won't. [Indie RP blog for Tulkas Astaldo, a Vala in J.R.R. Tolkien's lore] --- M!A: none

[tulkasastaldo]

uwukai

uwukai

uwukai

@theotherwesley

[vampiraptor]

3rd Age Middle-Earth Cryptids

Tom Bombadil 

The Creature Gollum™

Entwives(???)

Barrow Wights 

MAGLOR

Bonus: Legolas’s mom

[vardasvapors]

Beorn

Stone Giants

Goldberry

Suspicious White Stag

Blue Wizards

Marsh Light of Oropher of Greenwood

Hildifons Took

Galadriel (region-specific: Rohan)

[misbehavingmaiar]

1st Age Cryptids:

Ulmo

The Entire City of Gondolin 

Maglor: Origins

Ungoliant 

Fuckinnnn TURIN

Mim 

Petty Dwarves in General

Thuringwethil

Magic Dog

[i-gwarth]

Pre-Creation Cryptids:

Ungoliant

The fucks that Melkor gives

Illuvatar’s parenting skills

Tulkas’ hobbies

[tulkasastaldo]

>:O

[misbehavingmaiar]

Hey Melkor, what *is* the order of your shitlist of Valar? Most shitty to least shitty.

Oh, I am SO glad you asked!

Firstly– and I mean this, this is important– TOP OF THE LIST, forever and ever, is Tulukastâz. That is to say, Tulkas. He is THE worst …I’d go so far as to say he’s the top three worst. 1) Tulkas2) Tulkas3) TulkasFOUR:  Namo, and his confounded, hideous prison. I will say no more of him.I suppose that makes my brother, Mânawenûz, number five. He thinks I betrayed him, I think he betrayed me…. It’s… complicated. I loved him most dearly in the beginning. But he did judge me and sentence me and condemned me on every occasion since… and besides that he is infuriatingly patronizing and aloof. 6) Oromë, who despised me from the first, who hunts my creatures, my children, who brays his horrible horn in the forests and made it impossible for me to leave my fortress in the early days without suffering some injury. A brute, nearly as bad as Tulkas, if far less damaging to my person. He is a menace to my offspring. 

7) Varda, whose every look seethes with disdain and indifference towards me… I could not hate her more if she had openly spit in my face– Hell and Void, I’d count that a considerable improvement! Her sickle raised in the air spites me even on moonless nights. 

8) Ulmo. His work is inimical to mine. I do not bear him any special hatred, but he is my most, shall we say, present enemy upon Arda, with the most persistent interference of my plans. …The rest of my kin, I could take or leave. I admire some of their works very much, and others bore me so much I hardly remember they exist some days. 

I still have something of a relationship with Irmo, whose dreams are yet open to me; one of my rare solaces in these haunted days. Nienna once spoke for me in the Mahanaxar; I have not forgotten it. 

Of Aulë I can express nothing but disappointment that he and I did not agree upon more. His Maiar, on the other hand, are top notch. Hhhnhn… 

[pacificrim-archive]

[tulkasastaldo]

You been quiet. You alright?

((I have an awful lot going on in my life right now between a bajillion stressful surgeries and still trying to somehow advance in my course of studies, but I'm still lurking tumblr constantly. Overall I'm doing fairly alright, thanks for the concern.))

[tulkasastaldo]

If you are of little use of a counsellor but a loyal friend, does that mean you have the personality of the average teenag boy/frat bro?

(Somewhere in Valinor, a keg stand of epic proportions is happening.)

[tulkasastaldo]

So, can you imagine Tulkas getting into a series of troll challenges set by Melkor, a la Thor an the the giant king, that are hilarious?

//Yes. 100% yes. Make him prove his strength by having him punch a silmaril in two. Make him prove his persistence by hugging Arien for a millennium. Tulkas will do everything and anything when he’s challenged, it’s like a magic word.

[misbehavingmaiar]

Things my muses fear, Melkor Edition:

1. Tulkas. he has one job on this miserable earth, ordained by god, and it is to kick my ass whenever possible. that’s it. that’s his raison d’être. he’s the god of kicking one ass. my ass. just mine. seriously fuck that guy 2. Mandos: 1/10 stars, would not recommend. Guess how many dust particles you can count in Four Ages? so many! I named all 98 quadrillion of them. shout out to my boy Jimmy for being the best, least-identical mote and a great listener haha call me bro 3. Bondage: hey you know what’s great about being chained up for eons? literally nothing

4. Námo: he’s the death guy. he does death. 5. Varda: Do you ever look up at the stars and think “why are they flipping me off?” No? Just me? Okay.  Furthermore: The universe is a giant, scary, cold, unfeeling place. It has no center, no motivations; you can laugh in the face of its rules, and it will not care. It will keep going with or without you. I am personally offended by this. I feel like the endless reaches of space don’t respect me? Don’t they know who I am?

6: The Void: there is so much of it, all the time everywhere forever, and nothing else except me because i’m in it. I miss dust. And my legs. 

7. Manwë:  HAHAHA JK what a nerd 

[masteroftheseas]

Sexual Recommendation: Tulkas

First Oromë using beds, now Tulkas? Was he the only Ainu who did not stop everything for hours at a time to lay motionless and uselessly?

“Apparently I am one of the last of my kind to find pleasure in wasted time on pillows. Tulkas seems like he would be quite violent in his bed, lots of thrashing and tossing. While I am always open to a friendly spar, I do not know that I would want to wrestle with him where he has the advantage on dry land…”

[tulkasastaldo]

((Okay, here we go, I’m back for now. Who wants to thread? uvu*

[banner-bearer]

Suzieanna- [[ I’m gunna do it-]]

NO-

[[ *starts shippin’ Eönwë/Tulkas ]]

[tulkasastaldo]

The Ainulindale - more like Eruvision Song Contest, am I right?

[tulkasastaldo]

((Hey! Hi! Hi hey hi!!

Just wanted to inform everyone that I’m still pretty alive and planning on finally re-reading the Silm and maybe hopefully get back into the fandom and RP. Plus I finally got my legal name change! And am still studying computational linguistics, pretty successfully too! \o/ How is everyone recently?))

[tulkasastaldo]

Which flavor of divine intervention shall it be for you tonight, friendly visitor?

The Melkor You are undoubtedly the great King of Arda and don’t give a shit about what your siblings think. You are made of ice and fire. Those are your shiny stones and you’ll take them...

[tulkasastaldo]

Which flavor of divine intervention shall it be for you tonight, friendly visitor?

The Manwë You are the breezy King of Arda, doing the windy thing when needed and occasionally sending your prized Eagles on dangerous rescue missions. You love seeing the good in people, but...

[tulkasastaldo]

doegred returned on the professor's birthday, coincidence? i think not

[tulkasastaldo]

let's rename the silm fandom into the doegred fandom for a single day every year