deviantABACAS

Hi, I'm Maura, but you can Call me Abacas. I'm kind of in a burnout stage of my life, which sucks, so don't expect a very high frequency of publications on this blog or anything.

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Just re-did my desk for the new year, is Mac mini dual booted with OSX 10.7 Lion and Windows 7! Happy 2012 everyone.

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It's 2011

Today is October 20th.

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I passed my GED

So uh... Guess I can move forward now. I feel more accomplished in my educational background, since this means I can get a GED diploma, so that I can like- get a job or scholarships or something. I hope to do the former at some point, so I'm glad I passed.

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bCSN

AbacasOnline Chat Services Network: a messaging service being constructed to help me learn Java, as I finally grasp at how object oriented programming works in code.

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Bruh I should post here more often

so like I create websites and art I guess idk what else to put for now, just trust me in that I'll create SOMETHING.

[takawoyu]

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Spy looks like a political figure! Is she going to save us?

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Spy (first image) is ready for bed, Stella (second image) is ready for PETS.

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I'm getting a camcorder!

I'm so excited to finally have a camcorder! It's arriving today, I think, and I'll finally have 32 gigabytes of dedicated video recording space! Now worrying whether I have enough space to share between everything from music to apps, I'll have a whole SD card for that stuff. I'm getting so many ideas as to what to record. I'll probably upload the results to BitView. But yeah, so like I bought an SD card at Meijer the other day, and I had a headache, so I bought a camcorder off of eBay. I don't think it was the best decision, but it was my decision. Not the advertisements'. Anyways, that's all from me for now! Take care.

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Hi again, from my iPod!

I'm posting from my iPod! I've been having a lot of- ...fun? Yeah, we'll call it "fun"- but yeah I've been setting up my devices as if it's 2011! And I'll tell you what, a lot of stuff works on my 4th gen iPod touch, if you know where to look for fixes and custom services. I'm using Twitter via Flirb.net, Instagram via a patched ipa that goes to a custom server, I've got the YouTube app able to watch videos, the weather and stocks (I think) work fine now, and of course I'm posting to tumblr via the app right now! I'm just super happy that I can live out my delusional dreams thanks to a bunch of retro developers.

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I've been struggling

Lately I've been struggling with staying afloat in my mental health. I've been feeling generally down and in the dumps and I don't know how to pull myself back up, likely because the state of the world is chaos and being turned upside-down by billionaires.

I think after I'm done writing this I'm going to take a nice shower, preparing me for a weekend of rest, and oh wait fuck my parents want me to go to Costco and then to my aunt and uncle's house.

I'm gonna be transparent and say that the reason I'm so tired for one is probably that I keep having bad timing for when I need breaks and to take care of myself, it honestly feels like every time I get an urge to take a shower my parents have an alert go off in their heads saying it's time to take a dump in the one bathroom for 30 minutes, and then I forget and go back to what I was doing, ending up never taking the shower.

My art keeps getting "worse," too. I can randomly make something I find aesthetically pleasing, but its getting rarer and rarer to happen. I wanted to become a mangaka, move to Japan even, but no, my obsession with computers causes me to draw less and less, losing my skill and stamina I built up and almost got to a level I could draw an entire manga. I stopped because there's nowhere truly safe to publish it online, and trying to self publish seems bleak to me.

I genuinely want to focus on more artsy things, but there's this nagging feeling that I'm simultaneously capable but not good enough to build a new safer space for artists. I probably need to take a break from computers, but how? They're everywhere, expected use of them is 24/7, and they're always on my mind. I thought using older computers and older styled websites would get me away, but it only led me down a path of insanity trying to get everything I used "just right."

I guess the conclusion of this blog entry is that I am genuinely sad at how I am spending my time, and want to get better, but don't know how. I would love suggestions, but I don't think this will get traction, so I won't count on them.

Thanks for reading. -Maura

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Field Trip

Today I'm going on a field trip to a medical college for a class I'm taking called "Diagnosis Decoded." I'm not sure what I'm going to do there, but I hope that it will enrich my brain with more knowledge today.

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I like Windows Vista

Windows Vista wasn't very well received for its demanding hardware requirements, and overall instability on launch, but I think it's a nice operating system none-the-less. I particularly like its user interface, utilizing the Aero Glass design language. Windows 7 utilized this interface as well, but I like the colors and contrast of the older implementation from Windows Vista. The interface was primarilly what drove it to be so hardware intensive, so people may not have liked it for that reason. I don't know why I made this post I just thought it would be cool lol.