GET UP, COWARD! @turianosauruswrex - Tumblr Blog

date idea: i lay down on ur lap and you pet my head and tell me im not too much

I had this truly awful lady I worked with many years ago. She was rude, callous, and generally pretty unpleasant. She was exceptionally homophobic to my face. She told me incredibly upsetting stories about animal abuse.

But even with all that negative karma I don’t think anyone deserves to have their boyfriend literally die on them while having sex.

Which is what happened to her.

He orgasmed and apparently that ruptured a blood vessel somewhere important can’t remember if it was brain but I think so and he died with his dick still inside her which I’m pretty sure is the kind of thing that should guarantee you free therapy for the rest of your life.

But the craziest part was that she performed CPR and actually managed to restart his bodily function which is absolutely mind boggling. Can you imagine going from mid coitus to life saving procedure? The presence of mind she must have had. It’s bonkers.

Ultimately, he didn’t live. While she’d gotten his body going his brain never resumed function and he passed a few hours later.

But because she’d kept his heart beating he was at the hospital when he died and he was an organ donor. They were able to harvest his organs under ideal conditions. Even though she didn’t save him she did save three or four other people by resuscitating him.

rbsqp

harpieisthecarpie

i couldn't decide on one reaction image but uh

foldingfittedsheets

DO YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO LET YOU GET AWAY WITH BEING FUNNIER THAN ME?! Right in front of my salad?!?!?

rainwasheseverythingaway

My first reaction comment when reading this to my teens: he came and then he went

My 17yo: talk about a pump and dump

My 15yo: pussy game so good he got upgraded to the big death

partasah

So apparently someone found the lost episode of KTMA, K03, Star Force. It was found at a garage sale around Minneapolis and has been fully digitized. :)

you can read more about all this here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/MST3K/s/WBQQPowmms

blackbirdblueheart

TAPES CIRCULATED

catcrumb

silvaurum

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

silvaurum

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

silvaurum

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

fallout-lou-begas

Visit Original Link

snoleopard7

bioethicists

richard nixon is q*eer because he did watergate, subverting the societal expectation we all had for him to not do watergate

mascwoman

New bumper sticker 🕺

katarrinskey

Sometimes you just gotta sit with a friend at a food court for 4-ish hour just drawing their character so that they can print it later

Happy b'day again @kamichka-spichka

thememedaddy

ettaberrytea

[image description: tweet by @ audipenny that reads "America keeps trying to get me to go to her birthday party and I'm like no girl u need to go to the hospital." /end id.]

stealingpotatoes

Random question but what's your opinion on Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark from the hunger games?

they make me start frothing at the mouth and punching drywall thanks for asking <3

(links // tip jar!)

#hunger games

deliciousnecks

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

used to live in a college town that was huge on sports. 80% of small talk was sportsball and so i developed an Evil Habit: whenever the conversation inevitably turned to the upcoming Big Game i would act excited and then confused. I would earnestly insist they had the details wrong. "the game next Saturday? don't you mean the Thursday after? playing against the [predator species]? no we're playing against the [other predator species]." And so on. i would draw this argument out for as long as feasibly possible, until eventually someone would pull out their phone to prove to me my wrongness. At which point I would squint exaggerated at the screen, slap my forehead in an eureka moment, and exclaim "oh you meant the MEN'S team!!! are they doing a game? that's nice."

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

oh good tags:

#i have the rare joy of living in an area where the college team people care most about is women #but that also makes interacting with anyone not from here on the subject feel very odd #like wdym you only watch the men’s version of the sport. wdym you treat that as the default?? we root for our girls here

apolladay

What would you rather find living in your attic/basement/spare room?

1000 cockroaches

One man

Remaining time: 5 days 2 hours

If you don't have one of those, imagine that you do.

#i had to deal with the roaches this very year anything is better than that

moonshinemagpie

researching the history of education in japan and learning that, pre–Meiji Restoration, peasants/commoners formed their own schools to become educated because it was the best way of fighting tax fraud.

That is, when an official told you, a rice farmer, that you owed more taxes than you really did, it was very useful if you were good enough at math to know he was lying (and could prove it) and if you were good enough at writing to write a letter to your government defending your case.

all of which is to say it's crazy that mega-corporations are now pushing education to be "what if you paid us whatever we tell you to for the rest of your life and never do math or write anything ever again"