[jericosilvers]

[demiiwhiffin]

v. important must remember !

[turning-around]

Day 1

On day 1 I decided to try a new hairstyle. Thats all. I immediately felt self conscious because it was new and I felt like everyone was looking at me and thinking I looked stupid. But then my favorite college professor told me my hair looked good and I felt great. Still self conscious but less so. By the end of the day I loved it. I need to stop assuming people will think the worst and if I like it, go for it anyway. 

I come from a conservative small town with conservative small people. Sometimes I have to fight not thinking like them. I was a cheerleader, a minority trying to fit in with the skinny white girls, and I think along the way I smothered who I was meant to be. I was always different in school but eventually just became boring from trying to fit in. I lost my sense of personality. I let relationships dictate my entire life, my clothes, my hair. Sometimes I wonder who I’d be if I never let that happen. Where would I be? Would I be in the relationship I’m in now? Would I be in one better? Would I have followed my dream of going to NYC? I feel like every decision we make leads to different lifetimes and it’s so hard not to wonder what could have been. 

[turning-around]

A new beginning

I’ve decided to turn my life around, to make a new version of myself, to live my life however the fuck I want to. The world is on fire so I might as well be too.

I’ll use this blog to document changes and how I’m feeling while doing this very scary task of becoming more confident. Tumblr used to be my safe place growing up and now that I’m supposed to be an adult, I’ll try it again, because not many places feel safe anymore. I’ll make it public too, I don’t know how many people will actually read it or care but maybe I can inspire just other person to break out of their shell even a little bit. I want to be the main character in my life from now on. I want to experience things freely. I want to dress how I want to and not how I think others want me to. I want to be the brightest light in a room, a meaningful voice. I want to be my own source of happiness. 

I feel like I’ve always been two different people. The one on the inside is creative and has so much to say and is so capable. But on the outside I’m plain, safe, shy, a pushover, quiet. I don’t want to be quiet anymore. I want to be loud and heard. I’ll keep pushing myself to become better and challenge myself to get out of my comfort zone. 

So fuck it. I’m going to try. 

[365filmsbyauroranocte]

“When someone interests me, I’m freeze.”

L'ami de mon amie (Éric Rohmer, 1987)

[rowansugar]

This is the final painting from my workshop with Etchr, thanks so much to everyone who came!!

[quiet-nymph]

Henry + Baloo

[crossstitchworld]

I haven’t cross stitched in 25 years, since my first daughter was born. Today, I gave her this! by tifshu