turntechGodhead

Your name is DAVE STRIDER. You are THIRTEEN years old. A cool dude like you is sure to have plenty of INTERESTS. You have a penchant for spinning out UNBELIEVABLY ILL JAMS with your TURNTABLES AND MIXING GEAR. You like to rave about BANDS NO ONE'S EVER HEARD OF BUT YOU. You collect WEIRD DEAD THINGS PRESERVED IN VARIOUS WAYS. You are an AMATEUR PHOTOGRAPHER and operate your own MAKESHIFT DARKROOM. You maintain a number of IRONICALLY HUMOROUS BLOGS, WEBSITES, AND SOCIAL NETWORKING PROFILES (such as this one). // Independent RP account for (mainly) preSburb!Dave. // This theme is best viewed with Chrome

[discocubizm]

ill find out who you are, turntablejams

[turntablejams]

TG: cool story TG: im shaking in my boxers right now

[turntablejams]

TG: fuck yeah TG: way to kick it barack

[turntablejams]

turntablejams ❴❄❵ sleepyscience

[sleepyscience]

TG: if you think school is all fun and games youre wrong in every way possible TG: its long and hard TG: like a viagra-pumped dong doing a full salute TG: you dont go to school right TG: yeah youre all lucked out that shit is better than winning the lottery GG: lol you're so funny dave!

GG: what's so awful about school though? GG: you get to hang out and talk with your friends! GG: and that's more then i can say.. 

Your best friend is BEC, he’s your GOOD DOG. You’ve never had a HUMAN FRIEND BY YOUR SIDE, of course, that’s not including GRANDPA. Despite your HAPPY DISPOSITION you’re actually quite LONELY. Being a kid alone on an island with your dog is really HARD sometimes. However, all of those circumstances just make you appreciate your INTERNET FRIENDS all the more!

[turntablejams]

GG: what's so awful about school though? GG: you get to hang out and talk with your friends! GG: and that's more then i can say..

Oh man. Now you feel like an INSENSITIVE JERK. You forgot that Jade lived in some weird SECLUDED PACIFIC ISLAND. Consequently, she had such a positive view about school that you would feel pretty bad about bursting her happy bubble of school fantasies. And apart from your internet buddies, you didn't have many other people to talk to. You didn't want to tell Jade that. She might think you were lame, and according to the UNSAID STRIDER LAWS, that is worse than dying.

TG: yeah its cool to hang out with friends and all but being forced to hang out and talk with your teachers kinda blows TG: gonna be honest here and say the kids at school are all lame TG: its like the cool gods finally decided to bless the kingdom of my school with my awesome presence after they spent years in a coolness famine deprived of all things cool TG: but now these peasants dont even understand the concept of cool because they have been missing out for so long TG: and frankly i would rather talk to you or john or TG: heck TG: even rose

[turntablejams]

turntablejams ❴⌛❵ apocalypseadrift

[apocalypticanew-blog]

>What.

ARADIA: what

>You look down at your clothing, you had forgotten that you were wearing these clothes. They took a while to get used to at first, but after a while you got used to it. 

ARADIA: 0h

ARADIA: n0

>A fairy huh? Well, that would make sense if not for the shape of your horns. Chuckling slightly you cross your arms. Shaking your head ever so slightly, as if you were a bit disappointed. 

ARADIA: im a tr0ll

[turntablejams]

If you weren't wearing those shades right now, the FAIRY/TROLL/WHATEVER SHE IS would have seen you raise a questioning eyebrow. You're pretty sure you aren't imagining the trail of glitter behind her. Either this was a human in a really good costume or, as much as you hate to admit even thinking about it, maybe she really was a complete other species.

DAVE: a troll DAVE: you mean like an internet troll DAVE: except you took it a step further and now youre trolling me in real life

You turn to glance at your brother's window. It's still shut and you didn't hear it open either, so you don't see any other way this PERSON OF QUESTIONABLE SPECIES could have snuck in. You stick to the questionable side regarding her species. As far as you knew, the world was filled with humans and animals, not humans, animals, and fairy-troll-things.

DAVE: so howd you pull off the wings and the glitter effect DAVE: ill admit DAVE: they look pretty real DAVE: but cmon they cant be real tell me your secret

[turntablejams]

turntablejams ❨❤❩ theultimateprankster

[theultimateprankster-blog]

There goes Dave mocking your movies again.  Sheesh couldn't he just leave you alone about that?  But you have something a lot better to tell him right now.  The thing was Dave's birthday was coming up soon and you wanted to surprise him.  You already got plane tickets to Texas (your Dad helping you a bit with the money) and were about to tell him.

GT: go ahead and mock my movies all you want, but i bet you won't mock me about this. :D GT: guess who got plane tickets to texas? GT: that's right, the one and only john egbert! :O 

[turntablejams]

GT: go ahead and mock my movies all you want, but i bet you won't mock me about this. :D

If he challenges you to mock his movies even more, you were more than happy to do just that-- whoa.

Wait..

What?

You reread what John just typed again.

GT: guess who got plane tickets to texas? GT: that's right, the one and only john egbert! :O

Oh.

Oh man. Oh MAN. It is like fucking Christmas up in here. Your IRONIC COOL GUY GUISE is weakening by the second just by the thought of John visiting you. Evidently, you're pretty stoked by the idea of seeing your best friend in person.

You consider the possibility that this was a joke and John's PRANKSTER'S GAMBIT is overflowing with your soon-to-be disappointment. Then you realize that you best friend would (probably) not sink that low just to pull a cheap prank on you.

TG: omg are you serious TG: egbert i swear if you are just pulling my chain here i will twist this plot and i personally will go over THERE one day and punch you in the face TG: because visiting me might just be the greatest thing you can ever do

[gluttontempest-blog]

It’s a very strange feeling, floating around in the nothingness… You would know. You do it ALL THE TIME. You feel your body start settling back and you brace yourself to become one with existence, but of course it wouldn’t be that simple. You haven’t mastered jumping around yet, and re-appearing is very hard for you. The fact that you have a hard time landing should be a reason not to take off.. but you DON’T ALWAYS think logically, so that thought didn’t cross your mind. No, it didn’t. Not until you became EXTREMELY familiar with the harsh floor that your face was currently planted upon. OUCH. You whimper and shift, whole body materializing slowly. Yeah. You weren’t good at THAT EITHER. This realization left you wondering what EXACTLY YOU WERE GOOD AT. You look around nervously and notice you are in a room. Right away you take note of all the wicked awesome things littering the room, and all the amazing human artifacts. This is something you have rarely seen. You must have taken ONE HELL OF A JUMP back to have landed in a HUMAN ROOM. Instead of feeling too scared of this new place, you decide it is best to maybe peel yourself off their floor and take a cautious look around, keeping your hands to yourself and trying very hard not to FUCK AROUND with any of their precious personal belongings. Oh no! You notice you might have crushed some things when you flew into the scene like that. Secretly, you hope the human that lives here will not be angry…

[turntablejams]

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and today was a DAMN GOOD DAY. You left some NEGATIVES OF YOURSELF developing in your MAKESHIFT DARKROOM and you got your TURNTABLES prepped and set up perfectly for you to compose some SICK BEATS on. Not only that, but you just popped open a brand new bottle of APPLE JUICE. Now you're ready to lay back and undertake the task of gracing the world with your BEAUTIFUL JAMS.

You take a celebratory swig from your DELICIOUS BEVERAGE in honor of this beautiful day as you kick your door open in a COOL KID MANNER.

You realized some STRANGE-LOOKING GUY was in your room and you lower your drink. You noted that this person was really strange-looking because of their odd skin color and the horns that sprouted from their head. Based only on appearances, your first impression on this guy was already pretty bad. Then you noticed your room was disorganized -- more than usual, you mean.

DAVE: omg

Are... are those your TURNTABLES on the ground? Oh god, if you weren't pissed off before, you're surely pissed off now. This STRANGE-LOOKING DOUCHEBAG better get his camera out because he is about to be a firsthand witness to some serious STRIDER WRATH.

Ready to grab your KATANA from your strife specibus, you drop the bottle of juice and it crashes on the ground dramatically, spilling its delicious contents all over your floor. (You're going to blame the intruder for that too, just so you had another reason to demonstrate your wrath.)

DAVE: look i dont know who you are or why you look like some kind of nerd dressed up as an alien from some dumb tv show DAVE: but you just hurt my turntables DAVE: prepare to get your ass kicked back to the planet you came from

[turntablejams]

turntablejams ❴⌛❵ apocalypseadrift

[apocalypticanew-blog]

>So maybe you ventured off a little too far from your dream bubble. It seems that you must have wandered into a completely different planet. In fact, you aren’t even sure if you’re in a dream bubble at all.

Your name is ARADIA MEGIDO and you may have just wandered into a male human’s hive.

>You silently land inside the room, carefully observing for any possible hostility. Although… Something seems off about this scene, really off. As if the boy himself was confused and his surroundings were changing with his thoughts. And this kid, you know him. Well, you know of him. Dave! Of course! How could you forget, since most of your companions have talked to him before. 

Aradia: excuse me

>Walking over to him, you place a hand on his shoulder. So this is what a human looks like.

Aradia: w0uld y0u like t0 talk?

[turntablejams]

You were so stressed trying to figure out why everything felt like some massive clump of déjà vu that you didn't hear the stranger landing in your room or what she said afterwards. You only snapped out of your trance when you felt her touch your shoulder, a notion that ALMOST made you lose your cool. Knowing it was probably CAL (a.k.a. BRO) messing with you is the only thing that prevents you from flinging yourself across the room.

To your surprise, you turn your head to lay your eyes on a gray, fleshy hand instead of Lil Cal's plushy ones. Being a cool kid and having to keep your composure in situations like this is hard. It's hard but you bet BRO would understand.

ARADIA: w0uld y0u like t0 talk?

DAVE: i guess not i mean since were talking right now and all DAVE: but uh

Ignoring the tinted skin and the horns, your eyes remain fixed on the STRANGE INTRUDER's wings.

DAVE: are you supposed to be a fairy DAVE: better question DAVE: are you here to kiss my nose and turn me into a real human boy because no thank you i am already a real human boy DAVE: if youre going to kiss anyones nose you should kiss my friend john and hope he becomes a real boy and stops liking shitty movies

[turntablejams]

turntablejams ❴⌛❵ apocalypseadrift

Your name is DAVE STRIDER and you're currently having a sense of déjà vu. Your head feels a little light, like you're dreaming everything right now, but you're aware everything in front of you is real. The WIDESCREEN TV, CAL sitting behind you...

Now that you think about it, you definitely played this level of SWEET BRO'S SKATEBOARDING ADVENTURES on your BRO's XBOX before. Right afterwards, the guy got glitched into a wall, so you closed the game and returned to your room.

Except... the guy got stuck into the wall, and the game is still on. You should have shut off the XBOX by now. You should be in your room. You shouldn't be staring blankly at the TV screen.

You finally shut off the XBOX and try to get a better grasp of your surroundings. Right now, you're in BRO's room in your usual attire. The IRONICALLY SMALL SUNGLASSES that you usually donned proudly on your face didn't feel quite right-- which is weird, because BRO practically conceived you with those sunglasses on. You can't remember a moment of your life where you didn't wear these sunglasses. But.. something felt different right now.

DAVE: whats going on here

[turntablejams]

davecest. hells yeah.

OOC!DAVE: how can you handle 2x the perfection?

[turntablejams]

Davejohn ooh ooh

OOC!DAVE: this anon gets me

[askjohngamzee]

[turntablejams]

==> Dave: Try to stay calm.

[turntablejams]

headcanon 01 ;; pre!Sburb Dave living conditions

You're going to have to admit it someday. You and Bro are pretty damn poor. Instead of food, your brother uses the fridge to stash SHITTY WEAPONS. You don't even know why you bother checking the fridge, you just hope that by some miracle there will be APPLE JUICE or DECENT FOOD in there instead of weapons someday. You're getting a little tired of GREASY TAKEOUT FOOD. You guys are still hanging on because of some scrap cash lying around. Bro goes around doing God knows what to get money. You just know that some of your income comes in with his Smuppet website. You help by being a good kid and actually showing up for school, plus you still rack in some cash with your SUCCESSFUL WEBCOMIC.

[turntablejams]

Who runs this blog??

TG: prepare yourself you are about to be a firsthand witness to sexinessTG: you should begin rejoicing because i took a picture of this handsome devil just for youTG: http://oi50.tinypic.com/vhtget.jpg

[turntablejams]

turntablejams ❪❖❫ officerakazawa

[officerakazawa-blog]

Her eyebrow twitched in annoyance.

TG: ok first the jig is up TG: because of your slippery tongue i know you are a troll TG: that was such a slip it was like watching an amateur ice skater fall on their sorry ass at a big-time skating show TG: and these glasses right here are ironically humorous and therefore amazing TG: secondly i dont even know how to speak japanese TG: aint nobody got time for learning all that TG: and i have no idea why you and your rumpus ass are spewing about japan over there

But she would ignore these insults for the time being.

TG: finally what the hell do you mean how i got my pesterchum thing on YOUR computer?? TG: obviously you had to install pesterchum before because i just started pestering you because you got on MY pesterchum contact list without me adding you so i should be asking you the same thing TG: and why in gods name would i add someone whose pesterhandle is ⭩⭩⭩⭩⭩ unless you changed it to that

Right now, this was the more important piece of information. The kid had a point, for the program to be running it had to have previously been installed. Though she could not recall having seen it on her computer prior to the blackout. On another note, a blackout really couldn’t do such a thing? Which meant one of two things.

Either this Dave was an AI and pesterchum was some sort of a virus, or… Well, she couldn’t really think up another solution. 

TG: oh god TG: please dont say youre john and this is some sort of elaborate prank

She glared at the computer screen, the annoying chime alerting her of his message throwing her off kilter. 

赤沢: Shut up.

赤沢: I am trying to think.

Lets think about this logically. This kid named Dave was messaging her via a program called Pesterchum. A program she was positively sure was not on her computer previous to the split second black out that occurred in her house. This Dave, unlike her, seemed to be familiar with the application but had been wondering how she had supposedly added him without his confirmation…

“Privacy laws dictate he would first have to approve of my… friend request. And seeings how I neither know how to do anything other than respond to messages on here, nor send someone a request there is no way he should be on my,”

She blinked at the screen, “chum list. Nor I on his.”

This was all pretty curious - the thought of a mystery actually had the cogs in her head turning and her excitement level effervescing to an all time high. 

Akazawa wondered if there was an information mix up and - she wasn’t even sure if it was possible - her computer had swapped with someone else’s somehow?

She bit her lip, debating…

赤沢: Dave.

赤沢: Did your house have some sort of black out prior to me showing up on your chum list?

[turntablejams]

⭩⭩: Shut up. ⭩⭩: I am trying to think.

Again! You had to commend the nerve of this MYSTERIOUS DUMBASS for being daring enough to tell you to shut up! You consider typing the longest rap line-by-line while he tried to think. You resist the urge to do that and proceed to grace this guy by drawing what you thought this guy looked like in your WORSHIPPED ART STYLE. The exact same art style that you drew your SUCCESSFUL WEBCOMIC in.

⭩⭩: Dave. ⭩⭩: Did your house have some sort of black out prior to me showing up on your chum list?

That's a weird question... you figured, if they were really a troll, they would know you had a blackout for sure. You just thought they only popped up on your list after the blackout because they were a MASTERFUL TROLL and knew you were pissed off and easy to mess with at this moment. What if they weren't a troll? What if they really were a troll and pretending not to be a troll was just another attempt to trick you?

... Okay. Enough with the mind tricks, you're just going to say whatever you feel like now. No point in trying to troll someone back when you didn't even know whether or not they were really a troll.

TG: actually TG: yeah i did it was annoying TG: howd you figure that out TG: btw i drew you TG: http://oi46.tinypic.com/158b3g4.jpg TG: i think i captured your rugged japanese face beautifully

[apocalypticanew-blog]

((It isn’t? huh)) (( well I guess I have to change it)) 

[turntablejams]

// welp, do you want to rp sometime? c:

[turntablejams]

turntablejams {⌚} thirteenth--hour

[thirteenth--hour]

Never in his entire life had Aeon ever entered an era only to be attacked on sight. However, despite such a misfortune, his opponent, so to speak, didn’t seem to be very skillful in the use of swords—the one he attacked the ivory-haired man with was most definitely less than lethal. The time guardian retracted the blades from his weapon as the boy seemed to let up on his offense. Even so, Aeon still remained tense, ready for any sudden moves, despite the fact the kid didn’t seem very threatening. However, the questions the boy asked were enough to make Aeon visibly flinch. The time wanderer wasn’t at liberty to inform others of his abilities. But what other explanation could he give other than the truth? Nothing else would make much sense. Aeon decided to answer him in reverse. “I am no burglar. You have nothing worth my time. Had I the intent to steal, I would have done so significantly more stealthily, don’t you think?” Aeon breathed a calm exhale, preparing himself for his next response, which needed to be worded carefully. “As for how I came to be here… I cannot say; however, kindly allow me to leave your residence, and you will see me no more.” This way, Aeon could be out of sight and step inside the realm of time undetected. The question now was, would this boy let him?

[turntablejams]

The PRETENTIOUSLY DRESSED STRANGER said that he wasn't a burglar and your mind instantly wanders to any other CRIMINAL TROPES that he had the potential to be. With him dressed like that, you wouldn't think he was a criminal but some sort of royalty from a time period that, nowadays, only existed in artifacts and textbooks. Your suspicion only diminished further when he offered to leave. This only left the question of why he was here in the first place.

Despite all that, you still had your doubts. BRO always taught you to mutilate strangers first and talk later. It usually worked, but this is the first time you met someone with a GIANT-ASS WATCH equipped in a CLOCKKIND SPECIBUS before. You didn't even know the CLOCKKIND SPECIBUS existed until now. You guessed if some people fought with puppets and bunnies, then you can fight with clocks. You hated to admit it, but that weapon alone might be more BADASS than anything in your brother's HUGE COLLECTION OF WEAPONS.

DAVE: wait

DAVE: before you go DAVE: can i see your weapon

[inexplicablesmile-blog]

❝Well then, the majority of you are just foolish then. Regardless, it’s not my problem.❞

[turntablejams]

DAVE: that also means the majority of us think youre a liar then DAVE: now i wonder if your sarcasm can at least get through to your friends DAVE: or maybe they all think the same as us