Strider Brand Peanut Gallery

Your name is ROXY ???????. Or DAVEN’T SERKET, depending on who’s asking. And if you’re feeling really CAPRICIOUS, it’s LALONDE. You are INFAMOUS for your love of STRIDERS, and do a lot do SELFSHIPPING. You are a WITCH OF RAGE. Sometimes you take COMMISSIONS, and draw under the art tag DAVENT ARTS. Your writing tag follows a similar theme, being called DAVENT WRITING. Check that shit out, yo. Your profile picture was drawn by a good artist named STEAKBATTER. In your free time, you like to pretend to be DAVE MOTHERFUCKING STRIDER. This is when you’re not flying off the fucking handle about whatever you’re into that week, which is not certified cool kid behavior. You’ve been a HOMESTUCK FAN since 2015. You will never leave. there seems to be some confusion about this. homestuck is my intellectual property, and mine alone. all of my headcanons are 100% legitimate, where as yours are all laughably fake. there is no room for interpretation whatsoever in Homestuck. not even a little bit. to claim otherwise is heresy, and also in violtion of my legal rights as an artist. i hope this clears things up.

[spiribia]

when enkidu dies Gilgamesh covers his face, veiling it “like a bride”. Haha (sudden low voice through gritted teeth) the ancient Mesopotamians are running circles around us. I need you to get your ass on the field and give me your best yaoi or we can kiss these quarter finals goodbye

[splorfstuffss]

APPLICATIONS FOR HATERSTUCK ZINE ARE OPEN!!!

come join the fanzine where you get to celebrate the guys that you think just SUCK!

applications will remain open until the 15th of june and then the zine itself will hopefully be releasing on the 26th of August <3

please do read all the info included and keep an eye out for any updates from me!

i'm excited to see how this zine plays out...

==> APPLY NOW!!!

[zukiiqw]

[pawwwpyart]

homestuck community how does this make you feel

[turntechgodbeheaded]

nigga???? This is so fucking funny

[color-palettes]

Trapped in a Parcel on a Shelf - Submitted by SeesawSiya

#781003 #973101 #9b6e07 #1b5d41 #1c209b #580c56

[duddubstep]

Guardianship

[luci-muller]

Retirementhomestuck

[maightymai]

design by /butterzowie on Twitter

BUTCHKAT?

[maightymai]

design by @6kai3

GIRLKAT????

[batmanshole]

i cant breathe he just kept on fucking talking

[nintendont2502]

[turntechgodbeheaded]

writing fanfic that’s too divergent from the i material to be on ao3, but not divergent enough to be published anywhere

[turntechgodbeheaded]

This is no longer hal “autoresponder” strider. but he is still much too dependent on being hal strider for my writing to be original works

[turntechgodbeheaded]

writing fanfic that’s too divergent from the i material to be on ao3, but not divergent enough to be published anywhere

[foxxism]

White boy SHOCKS nonbinary barista by ordering in fluent LGBT.

Reference:

[b0nkcreat]

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

[b0nkcreat]

Can you stop bouncing and moaning on it 😐 please for the love of god

[b0nkcreat]

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

[cytherean-sunset]

[lurkiestvoid]

[willcraftapple11]

[frasohei]

[jazze-bee]

only the chosen one may draw the sword from the bird

[calware]

Before her is an infinite, purely white expanse. For a second, she thinks, ‘Well, that didn’t work. Guess I’m dead,’ until she hears Roxy whistle to her left.

ROXY: yanno ROXY: i sometimes joked about his head bein empty buuut ROXY: i didnt think itd be this literal?

JANE: Maybe something went wrong? Surely there has to be something here.

Or, maybe she’s just approaching it the wrong way. The human mind is abstract, right? Will they even be able to traverse a tangible reality? They’re standing, which means there’s a ground beneath them, and that feels pretty tangible…

Jane takes a tentative step forward, then another, and then-

(Bump)

-immediately hits her face on something invisible.

JANE: Um… ROXY: huh? do you see something? JANE: Not so much “see” as “ran straight into.” I think there’s some kind of boundary here.

She starts to feel across the wall, trying to map out where it ends, when she hears a shhk from above. The two look up to see that a rectangular hole has appeared in the white nothingness, and peeking out of that hole is (what is unmistakably) a security camera. A small red dot blinks to indicate that it’s active.

: State your business.

The disembodied voice simultaneously seems to come from above, yet nowhere at all. Still, it sounds unmistakably like Dirk.

JANE: Oh! We’re here to, ah- : Nah, just messing with you. I obviously know why you’re here.

With no warning at all, the nothingness around them distorts, and an actual moderately-sized room starts forming around them. It only takes a second for everything to settle; she quickly takes in the tiled, almost sanitized room that she and Roxy now stand in. Facing them is Dirk, who is lounging in a chair that looks far too stiff and clinical to actually be comfortable. Identical chairs line the perimeter, the only gap being in front of an unmarked door.

Somewhere, in the back of her mind, Jane is reminded of how it felt waiting with her father at the doctor’s office.

ROXY: sooo ROXY: you gonna give us the grand tour? : Oh, this is as far as you’ll be going. ROXY: huh ROXY: you mean we can help fix whatevers going on with your powers from here?

Dirk’s mouth turns ever so slightly upward. You’re so unused to him smiling that the sight sets you on edge.

: It seems you’re mistaken. : As I’m sure you’ve come to understand, Dirk is quite experienced at compartmentalizing his psyche. I am a part of Dirk, but my existence is only a small sliver of his overall person.

He gestures to the door with his thumb.

: The rest of him, including the parts that reluctantly agreed to this whole operation, is locked behind that door. : And frankly, everyone back there is a complete lunatic. It’s a goddamn nightmare. : Personally, I think it’s in everyone’s best interest to stay here, where everything is quiet, and orderly, and nobody will get hurt.

Jane shoves her head into her hands and groans.

[windyshade]

let the prospit kids lose it more

[furresquid]

this fanfic shit is easy