Being a grown up is hard.
Growing... Grown.. Grown up? The transition between these three words has always been something I've found difficult to fathom. This morning I managed to spill cereal and milk all over my clean work shirt. Upon realizing I didn't have another perfectly folded away in my drawer, I started to think.. Am I really a grown up? I turn 25 in less than a few weeks and I didn't have another clean work shirt in my drawer, probably 'not good enough'.
I find myself navigating blind through things that people think I should know. Things like, but not limited to; office politics, awkward first dates, twitter, balanced meals, stopping at one glass of wine, dry cleaning et al and it makes me wonder if EVERYONE feels like this or am I just stunted?
Lessons learned are hard but they're harder when you didn't ever expect to have to learn them. Case and point: deciding if your friends are actually a worthwhile positive influence on your life. I'm not talking about that narcissistic hissy-fit that every teenager has had, "now i know who my real friends are" but rather the very adult version: "Is this person actually contributing to my life in a positive way". Everyone is time poor as a grown up. There's wonderful activities like work, groceries, cooking, cleaning and washing that consume our day - so naturally 'free' time becomes a commodity and a rare one at that. In the last week, I've had two very dear friends display behaviors that indicate they are not in fact, worthy of my precious time. As much as this sucks, I think that this is probably the best lesson I can learn from being twenty-something. People come in and out of your life but the ones that add something to your very existence are the ones you should want to stay. My friendship circle has narrowed astronomically in the last 12 months. Not because of bitch-fights or moving to another city but because there just isn't enough time to have 'a heap of mates'. Learning to delegate time is the one part of being a grown up that i've managed to get a handle on.. and you know what, I'm so much better for it.
My dad has always said "if you go to your grave and can only count your friends on one hand, you go to your grave a lucky person". I didn't understand this until now. We're so focused on building romantic relationships that we forget that we need other long term partners in life. People who offer support, need support and ultimately, will remember you when you're gone.
Maybe I am growing up, maybe I'm already a grown up - I'm not sure. It's one hell of an adventure though.
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