Complete Hypnosis @twingrim - Tumblr Blog

Me: I tell the kids a way more heroic version of what happened -

DM: what??

Me *now in character as my fighter*: there were ten of them, I was backed against a wall and had no way out and no help but I still made it out singlehandedly-

DM: OH I thought you said ‘erotic’ but you said 'heroic’, didn’t you?

Me: why the fuck would I tell all the orphans an erotic version of this fight?

i-dont-want-this-acc-deactivate

they…

prokopetz

The best thing in life is when you encounter a giant bell in a video game, and when you attack it, it goes "bong".

prokopetz

The three highest virtues:

You can pet the fuzzy thing

Secret behind the waterfall

Bell that goes "bong"

yamujiburo

Since you work at Disney and love Team Rocket. How would you feel if they put Jessie and James in Kingdom Hearts?

LOL i mean i'm always down to see team rocket in stuff

but since they're not disney characters, they can use bella and bash

animentality

parttimecosmichorror

yourplayersaidwhat

Our party consists of a human artificer (my IRL husband) and a dragonborn paladin (me) who have a habit of seducing the local cat girl population wherever we go, a yuan-ti named lou whos patron is Elton from cat Twitter and their life goal is to become a cat and convert people to eltonism, and a brand new player who plays a shapeshifting druid named nix

We were having some ooc discussion

Me : Are tabaxis furrys?

DM: No, but those that like them are

My husband: Almost everyone in the party is for sure a furry then.

New player: Also any character who chooses to be an animal or animal kin is a furry irl confirmed

New player: Except Nix. Because she’s for sure not me vicariously exploring being a furry.

DM: I mean, this whole campaign has been taking place in the Furry Federation

By popular demand

Me: Where else do you expect 3 furries to want to be

New player: is [warlock player] a furry?

Me: Listen all im saying is Lou wants to be a cat very badly

Me: Assigned furry at dnd

Warlock player: AFAD

juggermelon

A beastman and his knight ✨

yourplayersaidwhat

The Dating Game

(Context: by some bizarre turn of events, we’re all on the beach hosting a dating game show for a sea abomination king looking for a bride)

Sea King: Bachelorette number 2, there’s one part of my body I love most, and that’s my lips. Do you think I’d be a good kisser?

Druid, an avowed lesbian both IC and OOC: [is struggling for an answer]

Fighter: [posts a kissing fish gif in the Discord]

Druid: That is not helping! That’s doing the opposite of helping! [slips back into character through gritted teeth] You know… there’s more you can do with your lips than kissing…

Crowd: [loudly whistles and oohs]

DM: Those near the Druid can see that she’s hating life right now.

Druid: You’re not kidding.