Rickette: Cookies my dear? How quaint. The "M" is for Mortette I presume? Mortette: No rather, it stands for... …MURDER! Rickette: That's lovely dear…
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@twinrick-blog
Rickette: Cookies my dear? How quaint. The "M" is for Mortette I presume? Mortette: No rather, it stands for... …MURDER! Rickette: That's lovely dear…
Twin stretched his jaw and breathed slowly as his balls recovered. Suprisingly, his sister was fussing over him rather than handing out extra bruises.
“How dare I?! I didn’t call for you! I called for the Utility Armada. Which half is here with you I see. It’s ok though sis!”, he replied as a U~Bot started to saw his restraints off, “and in case that does happen, I’ve already linked and uploaded my brain to my personal cloud. I hope the other half are doing ok.”
At home, the remaining U~Bots decided to do housework. A Rick grunted as a bot vaccumed over him and another wailed as he was dragged off to ‘recycling’.
Twin stood up and dusted himself off before turning to his sister.
“Thanks for the save, but did ya have to destroy the ward? Also what’s this murdering and arson business I heard about hmm?” he asked innocently, his oblivious nature shining through.
Twin felt numb. He remembered that he was given all sorts of medication to keep him alert but docile before blacking out. He woke up in a blinding haze of white light. Scanning his surroundings, he found himself in a wheelchair covered in a blanket sitting in an eerily sterile room.
Other Ricks were all around him in white robes and name tags. Some were huddled over a game of scrabble, others blankly listened to the radio that wasnt turned on. One stared stoicly out the window looking to the gate of the asylum, silent and calm.
Twin noticed though, a nurse Rick that sat in the middle of the room. Eyes glaring at him with cold intent.
“Ugh. Excuse me? Nurse, there’s been a mistake. I’m not supposed to be here.” he began.
The nurse stood up and marched over reaching for something in their pocket. “Don’t you start Rickette. We’ve been warned about you. Special orders were given on just how to deal with you.”
Twin sat up. “What? No I’m not Rickette. This is a misunder…” He couldn’t move. The blanket rolled down to reveal a magnetic brace held his arms, legs and waist to the chair.
“Ya know, I had a good friend once. He was a cop.” the nurse continued, pulling a charged baton to Twin’s neck, “They say he was electrocuted and choked to death. Singe marks all around his collar they said.” The nurse spun hIs wheelchair around and began pushing Twin quickly down the hallway. They entered a dark room with a large silhouette sitting in front of the quarter drawn blinds of the office window.
“Thank you nurse, that will be all.” came a deep southern accent from the figure. Locking his wheels into place, the nurse left the room. Twin’s eyes adjusted to the contrasting darkness.
The figure was a Rick, though the resemance was verg weak. His blue hair was greyer than normal and he was scarred all across his face. Eyes were hazy and whitened with blindness and half of his mouth was disfigured into a permanent scowl. Taking a sip of whiskey, the Rick spoke. “Well fate has certainly drawn me a lucky hand this round. We meet again Rickette.”
“What? I’m not Rickette” Twin began, “you have the wrong…”
“DON’T YOU DARE RICKETTE.”, the Rick yelled, “I’ll NEVER FORGET THE DAY YOU BURNED MY LAST INSTITUTION TO THE GROUND AND LET ALL OF MY PATIENTS ESCAPE!”
A gnarled hand dramatically slammed into the desk.
“We drew your blood and it was a 100% match to public records. I know it’s you Rickette or my name isn’t Richard Sanchesmith! ”
Twin sat up in his chair. “Firstly, rude. Secondly, duh. I’m her twin you poncy old salty quack!” CRASH
The whiskey glass was thrown, aimed for Twin’s head. Fortunately the thrower’s blindness led the glass into the wall adjacent.
It was clear that whatever beef he had with his sister’s surely~just~an~innocent~prank was getting between logical reason. He needed a way out of here fast.
A shadow slowly crept up between the blinds and hovered outside the window. It was Twin’s B~Bot from yesterday that he deployed. It must have tailed him and waited all night for his next input. The battery must be near dead so it probably didn’t have enough power to break him loose.
Pinching his fingers together, he signalled for it to go home and bring some U~Bots over. It should have just enough juice to make it back.
Nodding in compliance, the weary bot flew off towards the apartment. Unforetunatly, it didn’t calculate the trajectory and smashed through Twin’s window and crashed into the floor. With it’s dying blips, the messenger relayed the data to the idle Utility Ball Bots and began to power them up.
Twin did it this time. Rickette looked pretty pissed as she zoomed off away from him. Sighing, he clutched the back of his neck and rubbed it. She was right, he was a bit of a control freak. Maybe he needed to let his sis do her own thing for awhile. It’s not like she was exactly suffering when he was gone for all that time.
Twin walked to the frozen Rick~Berg and defrosted the swaglett.
“There. Now go away before the garbage~men get here.” he said as he pushed the other Rick off the sidewalk.
He reached for a ball~bot and set it to seek mode. The B~Bot could detect her bio signature then trace the destination to him.
“Welp. I should probably go and find her and apologise. That was a pretty bad move on my par…”
Twin had barely finished as a butterfly net swung over his head and pulled him into the padded seat of Richard’s Psyh Ward for Ricks of Mental Instability.
Rummaging around in her room, she noticed her wallet and a few other things were missing. She grew infuriated by his words each passing second, god he was so dull and idiotic, she had almost regretted even sharing as much dna as they had being twins and all.
“DON”T YOU SLUT SHAME ME MISTER, I can wear what I want because it is my body, the clothing I wear doesn’t make me a woman of loose morals and neither should that even be a thing to begin with. People should be free to express themselves how they wish, to be with who they want and sleep with who they want. Okay.”
Finding her Snake Skin purse and equipping her snake skin heels, which in turn boosted her height to eight foot she stomped her way angrily outside spraying her body with a special musky rose perfume as she did.
“What in Teslas’ name have you done? YOU-YOU FROZE MY DATE? Seriously how childish are you, what the hell is wrong with you, do you want me to be forever alone at like fourty with six hundred mooncats, because that’s the way this is going. YOU KNOW WHAT I AM GOING TO ADOPT ONE RIGHT NOW, MIGHT AS WELL GET STARTED! And you know what screw this guy I am going to the bar and I am getting drunk and banging the brains out of some submissive Rick and you-you aren’t going to do anything about it. YEAH THATS RIGHT RICK YOUR SISTER HAS A VAGINA AND LIKES TO HAVE SAID LABIA RUBBING UP ON TOP OF OTHER WOMENS LABIA OR TENTACLES OR WHATEVER. I don’t think you heard properly the second time so let me reiterate it V-A-G-I-N-A, VAGINA.”
“I know how to spell VAGINA sis. Yeesh. And screw me if I don’t want someone of freaking SUBSTANCE for you! This creep had condoms coming outta his pocket! ONE WAS HALF OPEN!”
He pushed the large Ice-Rick near the rubbish collection on the side. Today was burnable trash after all.
Clicking his fingers, a ball-bot appeared to his side, and started dialling a number.
“Ahem, is this the Richard Psych Ward for the Ricks who are mentally unstable? Yes hello, My sister seems to be delusional and is having a hard time coming to grips with who she is. ....yes she’s, well... listen here... ”
Twin pressed a button on his B-Bot and played a swiftly edited recorded message: { THAT’S RIGHT RICK YOUR SISTER HAS A VAGINA AND LIKES TO HAVE SAID LABIA RUBBING UP ON TOP OF OTHER WOMENS LABIA OR TENTACLES OR WHATEVER. I don’t think you. HAVE A. SISTER. I am going. to bang. MY. brains out . because I don’t. KNOW WHAT I AM. MIGHT AS WELL GET STARTED. you aren’t going to do anything about it. }
“Yes sweetie, yes. I know you have a vagina darling, all girls have them. Like we’ve told you. Don’t hurt yourself darling! We love you sweetie!” he smirked.
Closing the call, he smiled at Rickette, “I think they said they’ll be here in 20 mins or the institution fees are free!”
Twin stared aghast at his sister's evening wear. If you could call it that.
"Is it halloween already? Geez, it's a bit too early to bring out the 'Slutty Curtain' costume don't cha think? And a bar? Wow, real classy sis." He watched as his sister walked off into the apartment.
"Try and find the missing piece to that dress too while you're at it, ya girafwaitwait. Since when did you get taller tha~"
The dreaded doorbell.
Rick stared the dopey eyed swaglet up and down. Red Flags waved everywhere!
"Chill? You want me to chill!?", he began with a twitch in his eye, "oh I can certainly help with that you smart mouthed motherfucker!"
Twin pulled a 'Thermi~Cool, Instant Moisture Crystaliser' and took aim at the Swag Rick with the seting to snap froozen.
"THIS chilly enough for ya?"
“I swear if I find one more unsanitary pizza box stacked on top of my work, I am going to strangle you. Look there is even a slice of your artificial disgusting food inside Butters tank, you know Butters can’t stand all that cheese, it gives her little acidic farts. She’ll never eat her Kelp now, and this is all your fault. I-I-I mean what the hell, I was supposed to have a date coming over in like an hour and there’s-there’s titty mags, TITTY MAGS on the floor, and I swear these pages are stuck together……Why, I don’t need your biological fluids staining miscellaneous detritus on this floor. Which you will be cleaning up.”
Pausing she walked over to the fridge eyeing up the contents of it before peering out to the side with an evil glare burnt into his general direction, hot enough to burn many planets and it’s inhabitants.
“ALL OF THE FOOD IS GONE, I made Kale cookies, I spent forever in the lab making them to this Ricks tastes and what do you do? Keep your stoner sensibilities out of my fridge, I mean, like were did all my fruits go and-and-and the booze, what happened to my drinks?
First Riq confiscates all my projects and now you-now you are starting too? He wants me to make this-this sentient flesh tower prison and I just….I need my drinks to relax, bro, I swear do I need to send you back home to mother?”
@twinrick
“Incessant nagging is not allowed in the kingdom of Pizzamiomyriatiamaria, Sister Killjoy!” Twin smirked from the top of his reinforced pizza box wall.
“And I’m sure Butters relishes that he gets something he can taste for once! If that kale stuff is anything to go by, kelp can’t be any better!”
Twin opened a cardboard drawbridge and crawled out gracefully in his Egashira Fist Boner shirt. He knew a date was planned from Rickette’s tapped phone so he strategically collected all of the unholy things he could find and set them up the night nefore. Every box, every magazine, painstakingly crafted and modified into talismans of inequity and filth.
All of the booze was safely stored in underground cellar pillar. The keycode was safely written on his left sock in binary. No alcohol means no hanky panky.
No sensual energy/hormome enhancing fruits either.
“So you WERE planning on bringing some loser over! I~I~I knew it! Alao since when were you into all this new health crap! Is this guy some gym rat? Is he all celery sticks and juice cleanse? Why dont ya bake up a batch of kelp cookies for Mr Crossfit McNogluten?”
Twin Troubles:
Twin’s father saw Rickette. She was being crushed and twisted into an unholy shape by the demonic evil that was his wife. He reached out as far as he could, but found himself being swooped away further by an unknown force every time he stepped closer.
SPLASH
Cold water trickled down his face as he snapped back into reality. his arms and legs bound to a plasma cuffed chair and his belongings laid out neatly on the table in front of him.
A Rick shaped silhouette sat in front of him with a contrasting beacon of light shining from the mysterious Rick’s back. The father’s phone started to buzz with Rickette’s personalized ringtone. It was time for his checkup call.
Desperation quickly overcame him as he struggled to break free from the plasma cuffs.
“It is no use designation XW-1N. You have been caught and none can save you now.” said the shrouded Rick.
Twin grit his teeth and spat in front of him.
“Look I have no idea what you are talking about or why I’m here but I can sure as hell tell you that the call I need to make means the difference between life and death! So if you could just...”
KRRRZZZACK’
Electricity filled the plasma induction cuffs and passed through the father and shocked him. Arcs of blue sparks, streaked from his cuffs and dispersed to the magnetic field being created around his wrists.
“You realise that running will not stop us or the citadel from finding you? Surely you understood that we can get you at any time and any where Mr Sanchez. Your wife calling you in was probably the smarter way of going about this. Had we caught you after you escaped, we would not even be having this conversation right now.”
More water was doused over the father.
“You got this all wrong! I was at the lab! I was working on Project-0! My wife cleared all of my accounts andEEEEYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAARGGGGHHHH”
KRRRRZZZACK
“We have taken your alibi into consideration Mr Sanchez and we will deliberate shortly what we shall do with you shortly. Trust in us.” A thin lipped smile and bright teeth could be seen from the shadow, “The Citadel Auditor Division will find the truth.”
----
“Eh? But I hate Ice...”
Twin felt his mother’s grip pull him away from the sanctuary of his room. Thinking fast, he clicked his fingers and signaled a message to the Ball-Bot
:-2-21-9-12-4-:
As soon as Twin’s presence left the room, the Ball-Bot switched modes and began to gather all the pieces of the prototype ‘Magic Gauntlets’.
Finding Rickette, it rolled to her and clicked and whirred. Taking a pencil, it wrote a message to her and pushed it under the kotatsu.
:-19-1-6-5=7-9-6-20=13-1-7-9-3-:
---
Twin was rushed outside and into a strange car. His mother had a chauffeur drive her to wherever she wanted.Something must have tipped her off that his sister was still there. She would not go out of her way otherwise to give him the time of day. He saw through her weak smile and knew this was just to make Rickette isolated and jealous. He began to think of a counter-attack. His favorite food was Pizza, but he needed something that would repulse his mother to her very core.
“Well, then my favorite food is Sushi-omellette-Burger Bowl from All American Hashida’s!”
Western and Fusian. She hated non-traditional japanese cuisine and could barely stomach any foreign food.
Twin Troubles:
The Citadel lab was mostly empty that night and the twin’s father worked tirelessly on this new system. If his theories were correct, then a mechanical based device could not properly work as efficiently as he needed in order to properly run all the protocols and systems needed to keep a balanced level within the citadel’s intel and administration.
What this place needed was a processor so complicated, it could be incomparable to a real thinking human. The citadel needed a brain.
Taking a deep breath, he hobbled over to the coffee machine and stretched. The stingy bastards upstairs decided to start charging him for the amenities considering he was there so often. Swiping his rick pass over the reader, he waited for the fragrant life giving dew to spew from the filthy nozzle.
Nothing.
A few seconds and few more swipes later, something felt wrong. Whipping out his pad, he checked his bank accounts.
Nothing.
Suddenly, lights blared around him as Officer Ricks poured in from all entrances. They proceeded to take out bats and started hitting him in quick succession. Blacking out, the last thing he saw was an officer scoop up all of his data and throw it into a box.
“That bitch.” he cursed under his breath.
---
Twin froze as he heard the all too familiar shrill of the banshee mother’s cry. Nodding at his sister, he took the ball-bot prototype and entered in a keycode.
:-8-9-4-5-:
The ball bot unfolded into a series of panels and surrounded Rickette. He mouthed “Sorry! Hold still!” as the last pieces covered her entirely in a coat of tetra-reflective cards.
Small photo receptors were linked to the the lateral opposing panel facing away from the receiving panel, then project the image onto the reverse panel. Effectively, perfect reflexive camouflage.
Clicking his fingers, he watched as the panels flickered and started to turn where Rickette was hiding into an empty space.
Now all he had to do was cover for Rickette and lead their mother away.
“Rickette left early for stage rehearsal and the photoshoot!” he yelled back.
Twin Troubles:
“I wonder about that satisfaction. You’d have to find a guy with a pretty big cock to fuck that bus-shelter you call a vagina. When your done jamming the free-way go and pick your dress and dignity from the floor and find some fucking semblance in your life.”
He hung up on her. That aught to piss her off. Rickette still had to do the gig. Otherwise the old hag would bring them all down. He took a big swig of drink and stumbled into the citadel doors. The testing lab was rife with scorch marks and other bits and bobs. He rubbed his eyes and pinned his notes together on a wall. The citadel needed a new system, and he was asked to make one.
Project-’0′ might be the biggest thing he’s worked on yet.
---
Twin rick smiled as he saw Rickette jump up and down with glee. He rarely saw her happy as this and knew what he was doing was right.
“Dad’s at the citadel again. Some big thing came up apparently.” Nothing new to the twins. “Well Battlemage ErmBob, you need a pair of magic gloves!”
He drew up a basic design that incorporated the tesla rod but on a small scale. The rig would consist of the rods hanging from where the fingers were and would draw power from a foot powered pneumatic wind up static charge system. She’ll charge the power supply to her belt and then use the tesla fingers to shoot sparks and create ‘lightning’.
“We’ll be able to make these in no time! Got any spare rubber or induction coils around? Just you wait ErmBob, your alchemist will give you the power of LIGHTNING!”
Twin Troubles:
The Twin’s father held back his seething anger. Through grit teeth he spoke into the phone. Their mother was a terrible stain in his life. Why the council conscripted him with her as a viable partner is beyond him. “Well that explains why you never made it as idol, you’ve always been fat since the day I met you. But that’s not why I called you. No i called you because your daughter is in need of care from someone like her mother and not the adoration of unknown strangers around her every week.She tried to harm herself today. I am not letting her go on tour next week.”
----
Twin watched as his sister tinkered with his project. What she said resonated well with him as he had similar feelings. He hated their mother for pushing her like this. She was right and it burned up inside him. He couldn’t do much, but he had no control over it, neither of them did.
Their father taught them what the citadel was and his involvement with them. He had dreams of taking that citadel down to rubble. Taking the system down and building a safe haven that his sister could live in. He wanted to help her be a powerful warrior and free from what was essentially a prison.
He looked at his neatly squared pencils and hugged his twin, then tapped her lightly on the head.
“Don’t be silly. I’ll always be here to listen you know. It’s a brother’s job to look after his sister after all!”
He turned to a poster of his favorite RPG characters. Among them was a battlemage with arcs of white lightning erupting from their fingertips. Now that was power. Imagine if Rickette had that kind of magic. An idea sparked in his mind. A wondrous idea. I mean, his father did say that if he had the power to help her, he should anyways! “Hey sis, what if you went as a battle mage and really cast magic at the audience?”
A flood of diagrams entered his head as he saw wild images of tesla coils and static balls. “How would you like to learn electronics?” he grinned.
Twin Troubles:
The Father looked to his daughter and listened in steeled silence. When she went for the knife to her wrist, he pulled an immobilizer from his coat and threw it onto her body.
After she lost movement and fell unconscious he motioned for his son to approach.
“I am turning the collars and wrist band off. I think she knows the gravity of the situation, but I am leaving it on for you. If she screws up again and you are fully able to stop her, do it. Your failure will result in a painful shock. Unlike you, she has shown determination and will. You have just sat there quietly and took it all onto your chest like a common sheep. Bring your sister upstairs and place her to bed. Think on what you can do to better yourself and become determined like your sister. You are to bring me your prototype project by tomorrow.”
He dusted his coat and picked up the Citadel message.
“I will call your mother and…speak…with her.”
He stepped out from the house and closed the door behind him. He decided to give his dear wife a call on the way to the citadel.
Twin sighed heavily. Things get tense all too often in this house. He took his sister and carried her up the stairs to their room.
Being careful not to disrupt the harmony of her side of the room, he placed Rickette in her bed and gently fluffed her pillow and pulled a sheet over her. Gritting his teeth, he slammed his knife to his desk and slumped into his seat. The damage to his ball-bot was minimal but unfortunately this was going to be an all-night job.
First thing’s first though, these wristbands and collars were going to be a problem. Knowing his dad, these devices served a secondary purpose. Disabling them would be a win for both of them in their father’s eyes and would also show him that he can be determined to find his own path.
Twin worked through the night and was able to gently remove the wrist-band. He had also successfully removed his own collar, but the ball-bot was going to be unfinished.
Stretching his back, he went downstairs and opened the fridge. Rickette would probably be hungry by the time she woke up so breakfast might be in order. Normally, their mother would give her some ‘idol approved’ packet ration. Twin was often encouraged to fix his own food so he usually took the easy route of rice, grilled fish and dried seaweed. He had a nice fresh salmon he managed to procure and decided on freshly cut sashimi, a piece of fruit and a can of ice-tea for his sister.
Placing the items on Rickett’s table he returned to his desk and tinkered away, chewing on a mouthful of caffeine pills and gulping down some green-tea.
Twin Troubles:
“I-I’m right thank you sis!” he laughed nervously, a strange faint tinkling of metal could be heard from his bowl.
“I’m on a low sodium diet. I’ll just have plain rice thanks! What’s the letter say dad?”
Segue of the century on his part.
The twin’s father scanned the letter over and over. His eyes darted to Rickette mostly every paragraph or so. He took a big sip from his drink and folded the letter in his pocket.
“Rickette. I’m not gonna bother explaining to the table what you have done. You two are far wiser than most give you credit for and I respected that and said nothing so you kids can learn from your own enrichment. Having said this, I do think the world of you, but with any love I can’t turn a blind eye forever.”
He shifted his body and faced Rickette directly.
“You young lady are in for it this time. I won’t say that I am angry. No. I am disappointed in your actions. Now I know I wasn’t the best kid when I was younger, but I was schooled in the public system until I decided that was beneath me intellectually. To benefit you and this family, we kept you here and taught you the fundamentals of the universe and everything you need to live and survive in this world. I even let you take on a job to teach you the value of economic strain and introduce you to the Engel’s Coefficient. A basic concept that will benefit you greatly in society when you eventually leave the nest. Now the nature of your work...unnerves me to no end. Now if you are not satisfied with your occupation, you need to take the initiative and tell me and your mother. In either case, it seems that you cannot handle being both in the public eye and a valuable member of the lesser community that you are going to rise above from. You are better this, but you lack humility and respect. And so, until you can rectify everything on this list, I’m going to have to keep a closer eye on you.”
Taking out a bracelet, he snapped it onto Rickette’s wrist and applied a similar one to his neck.
“This is a lesson on Pavlov’s theory and a refresher of the Nuremberg Effect. For every deed you do knowingly and consciously against the code of ethics and morality and law, you will receive a loud alarm and blinking lights that signal to my collar a very painful shock function. See every misdeed on this list hurts your mother and I. And I feel that you do not understand that concept, so now it will be literal and you will be aware of it everytime, as will others around you.”
Twin shifted uncomfortably in his seat. His father had some great ideas, and some truly terrible ones as well. At least he dodged a bullet here.
“And as for you,” he snapped a collar around his son’s neck as well. “It is your responsibility to ensure your sister does not fall down the wrong path. I feel that you do not understand the concept of what it means for your bond as twins. You share the same dna, you may very well share the same feelings. For this you must be stronger for each other not against. If your sister fails to be a good girl, you will suffer with me. ”
Twin Troubles:
The twin’s father sighed as he rubbed the back of his head. He had half a mind to walk up there and tell them off. He also knew better than to get involved between those two. They were a special case altogether. Sitting down and relaxing into his seat, he turned the t.v to the news and shouted up the stairs. “Kids! I don’t wanna have to call your mother in to this. D-d-do you want that? I’mma call up your mother right now if you two don’t sort out yer problems amongst yerseluUUURGGHppp-elves.”
“Pfft. The old man is right sis.” Twin slipped out from her grasp and slithered away. Standing up, he put his knife back into his pocket. “How about we just forget about it, and I keep my side as clean as possible away from your side. I’ll even patch up the hole. Plus, I’m fairly certain the dinner might burn if we mess around too much here. Truce hug?” He outstretched his arms for a hug.
Twin Troubles:
Backing out of reach, he swung his hand back and returned to a balanced stance. Their dad knew better but his sister was such a brat sometimes. Probably something in the water the idol producers give her.
Pointing the knife at her again, he saw her leap for his arm. Lunging forward, he rolled and sprung up behind her, going in for a hugging hold. Taking a deep breath he yelled.
“Daaaad! Rickette said yes to her producer’s invite for a private Squanching party!” he lied. “Two can play at this game Sis. You smash my walls, I’ll wreck your reputation!”
Twin Troubles:
Twin dodged the real knife and prepped his own.
“Fine, well since you want to play it that way,” a wicked smile sprawled over his face.
“If I win, we swap sides of the room for a week. I get to sleep in your nice pristine bed, and you get to find your way through my maze of scraps! Maybe I’ll even peek a bit in your diary that you keep in that false pillow?”
Without hesitating, he leaped forward and slashed in a quick sweeping motion rising from below the waist diagonally.
Twin Troubles:
“You leave my balls alone!” Twin Rick wriggled out from her grasp and went for his side of the room for sanctuary. His sister couldn’t reach him there.
Crawling up to his bed, he dropped his paper bin over and littered the floor with paper rolls and burnt wire.
“Nyeh, can’t catch me now can ya Malibu Ri-Ri Indigo chan!”