Into The Light of Passing Day

Hi since I am not restricted to 140 characters I'm going to try to tell a story. Truth is I'm writing a book called Light of Day. Ill post parts of it here and there as I get inspired and eventually put it all together in chronological. Besides that I like to rant about life and current events.  I play drums and write music for a band called Soul Parade we have A Facebook and Bandcamp look for us!

[twinxs]

Why say it’s been a while?

I am mostly off tumblr for months before I log in again. The last semester of my bachelors kept me extremely busy. The two jobs that I had would keep me writing code or just driving around town. I taught GED for a while at different libraries around town and the driving part was more time consuming. Post Graduation I took some Masters courses in Intelligence and National Security. It was full time and very time consuming but thats about it. I got a part time job for a programming company(Wrote in old COBOL) which was here on the west side in the meantime then I got a job with the city. Now I have a full time job going to school and making (Attempting) bigger strides with Soul Parade. After 3 years or so we are finally on Spotify and we are posting more consistently and most importantly we plan stuff a month ahead. Not acting intuitive as much anymore and taking a more business approach because in the end that what a band is. We had a Synth player after Natalie but she was way to busy to play with us often. Mostly rehearsals was the problem we are writing songs at a faster pace and they just need synth parts. We are trying out a drummer and he is really good. I just get worried that he might get bored in playing a couple of slow songs. Tempo kinda concerns me but I think it’s because he is learning the songs. He is way better than me and has technique. In the song Pack your bags he can add so much more that I ever could. Still in the tryout phase so it’s ok but I hope he makes the cut. I think it’s important to get along with your members and this dood is pretty cool. I haven’t felt like writing as I used to before and I don’t really feel like it now. Putting some thoughts on tumblr is kinda healthy you know more so a place to speak your mind. I might write in a year or less if I feel like it

[twinxs]

I'm really proud of you and I hope you enjoyed your first day of nursing people😘😘 #wcw

[twinxs]

Taken from an old photo shoot with @benthegypsy for #soulparade Plus it's the only pic where we look both look good. #happysiblingday

[twinxs]

I had this taken a while a go and I don't look too bad Photo credit goes out to @papajoe_eptx as always it's very much appreciated!!!!

[twinxs]

I wish I found this picture earlier!! The people at @explosmofficial are pretty accurate :) (at Las Vegas DMV @ E. Sahara)

[twinxs]

We took a day trip to Carlsbad Caverns☺️😊 #caves #adventure (at Carlsbad Caverns National Park)

[twinxs]

I met Julieta Venegas and we got to chat for a bit

I really was not expecting to meet her at all since I saw a lot of people go to a VIP section to meet her.  I was disappointing at first because I thought you needed connections of some sort to be able to meet her.  Which isn’t fair to those of us that are fans or have been fans for a while now.  I didn’t let that ruin the concert I have already met her before so I didn’t mind not meeting her again you know?  I thought that maybe other people should meet her despite how much they are into the music or how many songs they know.  The concert was amazing and by far the best set they have had in a really long time.  Many of her songs have a completely different twist to them this time around which only makes the concert interesting every single time you go see her since stuff changes around a lot.  You hear a different version of the song every tour.  Plus she kept some of the songs that aren’t singles around as well.  The visual effects in the background also made the concert more enjoyable, so much that I found myself not looking at Julieta from time to time since it was so entertaining.  Still she does this thing every now and then where she makes eye contact with us and waves hi.  During the concert she also mentioned that she likes to see people she knows.  She then to say again “I see you twins” (In Spanish).  People are still telling me now that they knew she was talking about me.  After the concert was over we wanted to stick around to see if we could possible get a meet and greet or something or at least try to meet her.  We didn’t have to look far because someone came looking for us and asked us if we wanted to meet Julieta.  This time around was much better since it just wasn’t a quick picture and getting my album signed.  We actually had a conversation and we were able to ask her stuff about her music.  At first I somewhat didn’t know what to say because you get nervous and all but after a while the conversation flowed.  She is a twin as well so she was asking us about the habits that me and my brother have as twins.  It was a fun conversation and she would tell us about the tricks she would play as well.  In reality I that was the fastest conversation that I have ever had.  It went by so fast that I forget to ask her or tell her certain things.  It is not like we were rushed but in the moment you blank out with things you want to say.  I think I got most of it out there?  I am just really glad that she gave us the opportunity to meet her.  That was something that I always thought would be very difficult to do.

[twinxs]

So this is the 4th time I see Julieta Venegas and I finally had a chance to meet her. We talked about the twin life and music☺️ She is very fan oriented and I think that's why she gave me the opportunity. The last thing I asked before we had to go "Can I have a selfie for the snapchat?" Plus she signed the set list :)😊☺️

[twinxs]

This happening tomorrow means that I have to do all of my school work today>.>. You can probably guess what I'm listening too at the moment as well:). Almost there!! #algosucedetour #lavenegasenelpaso @julietavenegasp Ps. Who else is going:)

[twinxs]

It only drives me

So I have been writing my morning pages on class.  I haven't been posting them because they tend to be personal political views and sensitive points of views.  With my luck I will become famous for something negative I said.  Like they say if you don't have anything positive to say, don't say anything at all.  Today I want to talk about this anger that fuels me.  I never wanted to be like my twin, he is thrives on that.  In comparison he has gotten places, has a degree and a job in his field and he is pretty strong (saying he is buff would be too much but he is obviously more muscular).  Things I want and things that I am working for but I am not quite there yet.  I run on something but its not enough to get me out of bed or just not the right motivation.  Well there is something that is helping me a lot but that is for another day.  Back to the matter at hand, I have been trying to get myself motivated by venting that anger in a positive way.  I think at least three times about everything before I do it so I have never released that anger in a way that I harm myself or others.  It is not like I am making up this anger it is actually the source that I want to tell you about.  Its not like I get angry for no reason to get motivated that’s fucking stupid.  I have this problem with the world that whenever I want something I have to struggle three times or more to obtain it.  I am not complaining that I live a shitty life, I have all of my relatives alive and healthy a good set of friends who care about my well being and financial wise my family is getting by.  So don't think I don't appreciate the stuff I have its just when I work towards something I always have to give more effort in comparison.  Here are some examples that have occurred to me that I remember.  About a year ago we had a battle of the bands that we registered for weeks in advance.  I felt that our music was great and our energy live is really what sets us apart from other people.  I think we had a great shot being that two of us had 8 year experience in the music scene.  So the big day comes for the show and 5 minutes our guitarist calls us and tells us that he can’t make it because he booked a show with another his band and he lost his keys.  Despite us booking him for the show months in advance.  So we had no choice to play without him.  That show I gave twice the energy while playing the drums and the guys went crazy playing their instruments.  All while staying tight and true to the songs we have written.  After they announced the results and we won first place.  Great but why is it that we had to do it with one member less?  Why did everyone have a complete sound and not us.  We didn’t mention that we were a member short because that would be a little bitch move.  As far as everyone knew Soul Parade consisted of 3 people. I don’t think I have ever mentioned that a girl once kept me around just for her to end up with someone else(She knew I liked her).  I tell everyone in person and I admit to my faults so it doesn't bother me writing it here.   The situation doesn't bother anymore but the concept does (You know you are here trying and someone else gets it easy).  Not much to say anymore about that.  You know the whole situation, you meet a girl you fancy you try for a relationship and if she likes you back cool.  I know she doesn't owe me anything or anything like that.  I payed for stuff and her favors was something that I wanted to do.  I just wanted the feeling to be mutual and genuine.  I never expected anything because she didn’t owe me anything no matter what I did.  Well the part that is bothersome that after two weeks of no contact she ended up someone else.  It was very easy for the other guy to just show up and bam he gets the girl that easy.  Worst part is she knew I liked her.  Despite the emotional investment and time spent, it meant nothing at the end.  Despite my effort someone else will always get it easier.  I know it seems contradictory saying that she didn’t owe me anything (Which is something I strongly stand with no matter how much the guy spends) vs the effort that I put but still.  That other guy probably just saw it as a convenience not that he cared.  These are an example of two situations that have occurred.  I just always feel that the times I do get what I want I had to give my 110% while someone got it easy for some reason or another.  When it comes to computer science and academia it has also happened there(Rather not talk about that).  Today that is what drives me, the fact that I have to give my 110% to get something. For me very few things will come easy.  If I want something I really got to work for it.  It because the reason that I am overdoing what ever it may be.  If it’s school, job, gym, or band I want to want to get 2nd place because it really isn't for me.

[twinxs]

She knew that two of my favorite things are monopoly and Fallout:). She is absolutely the best:) Thank you so much much for your presence❤️😍😘

[twinxs]

I don’t post everything that is on my mind so here are the lyrics to my band’s new song

Demanding thoughts from your mind is not hard if I don’t filter out stuff I cannot say.  I don’t live a very secretive life because I have nothing to hide.  At the same time I can’t talk about certain things because you never know who may stumble upon my tumblr (Yes I tried to rhyme on purpose).  Also because I get paranoid that I might post something public by accident otherwise I wouldn’t care too much.  No one really reads this now anymore right?  Anyways in recent news.  We recently release a new song on the Soul Parade Facebook.  You click the link and it takes you to YouTube where you can listen to the song.  It’s a little about people wanting to leave El Paso and all that kind of stuff.  I wrote about it in an earlier post.  Josh wrote the lyrics to the song and it is somewhat the theme of this song.   The next super sentence are the lyrics to the song.  You can listen to the song on Youtube if you really are curious.  Put the chorus at the end for a reason. You tell me that you're leaving you hope that I'd come too you got your clothes packed  your books and journals  you got your make-up and your shoes But it's all a bit too soon I got problems and worries too You're tired of the same old  of your boss and of your job  you tell me come on baby let's run away  we can build a new life we don't have to stay but it's the only home I have but I'll help you pack your bags The years passed and no one's seen you  we hope that you're doing fine  a few days later I get a call  a familiar voice is on the line  so I get in my car and drive to see if you're alright You tell me that you saw Paris Japan and London too you tell me come on baby it's a great big world you don't have to worry I finally learned  that this is the only home I'll have so let me help you pack your bags You got me you got me  floating higher and higher tonight you got me you got me  on this 9am flight We walked out the door without saying goodbye  we always wanted more we are one of a kind they said before we left  we guess we're never going to see you again and we say no no no no no no no no no we're always coming back home.

As far as drumming goes (that being my department) I really enjoyed this song.  I tried to do something different for the most part.  Keeping a constant beat is what does it when it comes to simplicity but I felt like this song can be a bit more challenging than the rest.  I am just glad that it’s a song that you have to listen to multiple times to be able to get the beat.

[twinxs]

“If you’re going to be that much of a judgmental fuck I probably wouldn’t want to talk to you anyways.

So I live with this moral code or something that if something does not hurt me or anyone else in any form then I should have no problem with it.  The three major issues that are constantly debated are gay marriage, legalize marijuana and abortions.  In a weird way I would say that I consider myself somewhat pro to all these subjects because I do not care for them.  If someone wants to get married then let them get married because it does not affect me at all.  Would I think less of those people?  I doubt it that is their deal not mine.  Someone wants to smoke pot? Let them, they are going to find a way to obtain it even if it is illegal.  I do care a little about the legalization because it would take many people out of jail for having a small amount.  Does it bother me if an individual consumes it?  No, because it is their body they know what they put into it.  I assume they know what it does to their body so it’s on them.  On the last topic I would really like to let the individual have their own judgement.  In other words it’s her choice to do whatever she wants.  However don’t go on and get abortions left and right because it is her body.  I do consider the life of the child however it should be done in a humane way.  I don’t know much about the stages of pregnancy to be able to determine when there is life and when pain can be felt.  As you can tell I am a little ignorant about this subject therefore I don’t really deserve an opinion right? (For you to weigh in on topics I think you need to be well educated before you speak).  I hope the message got across though.  Today at work I was talking to my boss about taking a trip to Las Vegas.  Somewhat giving him the heads up that I was going to request days off.  I told him that I was really taking the trip to play Yu Gi Oh.  He then said not to tell anyone that I hardly know the reason I am going to Vegas.  If people ask I should simply tell them that I just want to visit or to explore.  Something about other people not understanding and so on.  Now I have my own hobbies and everything but if someone is going to think less of me because I play, then I don’t really care.  No negative feelings towards those people or anything.  If you are going to be that judgmental why would I want to talk to you in the first place?  Beside that I don’t think it’s much of a big deal.  I play a card game that has monsters and shiny cards it is fun to me.  During the weekends I go play local tournaments then I go out and play a show.  Sometimes I don’t play a show, I visit the girlfriend instead.  She knows I play and does not really mind if I take some time for me.  

[twinxs]

So we released a new #soulparade single on YouTube today!!! It's the link on my bio and we called this song pack your bags:). By far the most fun I had playing drums and I gotta say it's my favorite. Photo credit goes out to @snugazabug :) she drew, we liked it, why not use it?

[twinxs]

Let’s have a serious discussion on this issue instead of the name calling.  I like debating and different points of views

So recently there has been an article on many news sources that states that women should be able to be drafted.  At least according to Military officials.  Two statements from the article say “Senator, it's my personal view that, based on this lifting of restrictions ... every American who's physically qualified should register for the draft". as well as “Senator, I think that all eligible and qualified men and women should register for the draft,".  The first person that came to mind when I read this was my girlfriend.  The last thing that I would want is for her to be out there with the potential of being killed.  Also, no parent would want to see their son or daughter in that situation.  As much as I dislike this situation and scenario it is considered fair and equal.  In the case that this does happen or it actually goes through we have do have a reason not to send women out.  He did state that the person that is being drafted has to be “Physically qualified”.  With this statement it would mean that even if you are between the ages of 18-26 if you cannot do one push up you are not qualified.  Are we still being fair? Of course we are because we are not just throwing anyone out there.  Only qualified women are going to be allowed to do combat roles.  Even at that if a woman is not physically qualified there are other non combat roles they can partake in to help (Don’t really know I should look up sources).  I agree no one liked the draft then and no one will like it now if they are included.  However, we shouldn’t really panic about this draft issue just yet.  As far as I have lived there hasn’t been a draft yet so why worry about the issue now? 

[twinxs]

Judge bands not people

So some of the post that I do for the class I doubt I am going to put here. I feel I am sort of a hypocrite sometimes and unless I really dissect a situation I can come to an agreement with myself. You can’t really consider yourself ethical and not overthink things. I constantly talk to my band mates (The people that I trust the most and won’t judge me too hard) about situations that I am on the fence about. Did I do the right thing, did I sound like an asshole? I am not a perfect human being or saint to say I have been solely good my entire life. Haven’t we all wronged someone at some point in our lives? That’s why I don’t judge people because it is not like I’m a perfect ethical being. If someone has done something wrong who am I to say anything bad about them?  I only tend to voice my opinion if it is subjective.  If a person is caught stealing then yes by definition is considered a thief.   However if we only speculate that a person is stealing but have no evidence then on what basis are you claiming that?  This is where judging really happens, people with no evidence just say things that might not be true.  Even at that people do exaggerate in their favor to convince you.  So at this point we should just stick to facts.   Currently and as far as I know I don't think Ive screwed anyone over in the past year since I don't really talk to anyone anymore.  Not that I have grown anti social I just have decided to focus more on working on myself more.  Positive thinking and all besides I am not really around the people that I was around one year ago or two(maybe even 3).  I have been mostly hanging out with people within my major or the band mates.   My interest have been different since then.  I am not to musically inclined as much as I would like to be.  Since music is subjective or at least the genre in the scene you cannot really say who is better or who is the best.  The market is the one who decides that and if you are not part of it then you are out of luck.  You might be the best for a moment once the market has decided that your music is what is in right now.  Not that we were ever the best band out there anytime.   Performances are subjective but can still be judged, the music not so much.  If you can hear something and it sounds off then there is a lack of practice which translates to a lack of skill.  If you are playing and yet you don't move a lot it shows you have skill but not mastery (and as an entertainer you aren't delivering).  So you can see that I have my own SUBJECTIVE criteria in which I would like to be play as with the band.

[twinxs]

“Well yeah, and I'm sad, but at the same time I'm really happy that something could make me feel that sad. It's like, it makes me feel alive, you know? It makes me feel human. And the only way I could feel this sad now is if I felt somethin' really good before. So I have to take the bad with the good, so I guess what I'm feelin' is like a, beautiful sadness. I guess that sounds stupid.”

These morning pages feel like daily quest you usually find on mobile application games. As in sometimes I don’t always get on to play that game to finish the quest. The fact that they are optional is something different though since I have to get on and write every day. I don’t mind it too much and it’s only bothersome because it is no longer optional.  

             One thing that has never been fair and a little weird is that I am always tired no matter at what time I wake up. I’ve been told that my sleeping schedule is a bit off which is whatever but it shouldn’t mean that I always feel this way. Not that it matters much since I accepted this feeling. The only thing that sucks about it is that it does make me less productive. I don’t think its laziness since I do what I have to do no buts. I simply have less will power to do something.   Not only do I have to overcome the obstacle of doing something but I also feel less inclined to do so. The gym has been consistent though I still continue to go as much as possible and whenever possible. The other hard part is giving up my addiction to sugar. On its own my brain knows harm that it does but in practice I give into my senses. Currently I could go for a burger from Carl’s or Burger King. Then I look down at my growing gut and I convince myself that it is not worth it. I can do this and just wait till I get home and have something better to eat. I also want to stop drinking soda because the fear of kidney stones has been instilled since I was a kid. I have also read a couple of articles online on what they can do to you or what happens when the stones tear through your kidneys. I try not to picture it so much because then it doesn’t let me sleep at night. I’m sure the pain is something I can prevent if I just stop drinking soda altogether. Then I thought that preserving and taking care of your body is a huge hassle. You have to hate life just a little to stay disciplined and not fall into the temptations of food and staying in bed. Then again if you want to stay strong and be strong you have to struggle a little. The best things in life aren’t free unless you were born into wealth. Even at that, if you do not deserve it because you didn’t struggle at all it will show. You can catch a lot of celebrities or famous people being called out on being fake or musicians as not being authentic. Everyone wants to believe that they have the most epic (and tragic) backstory they somehow surpassed in order to become the person that they are now. Believe me people tell me all the time.