TwistySticksChel

Yo wassup diggity dawgg?

[str8-for-pay]

32 Faces You’ll Recognize If You’ve Ever Had Anal Sex With A Penis

[nicolekidmansgrinchhands]

[tanookitoes]

i want a public execution of the writer of this abhorent defience of god

[moonsofmoons]

This, was a journey.

[coolhandofagirl]

yesterday i drove by an elementary school in dc called Horace Mann Elementary and their mascot was a centaur and it took me a second to make the connection and when i did i i almost started screaming but i was in the car with my coworker who i don’t know very well so i had to silently suffer for what felt like hours. horse man

[pokemongomemes]

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you move out and have a house of your own :)

me, in this economy: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you get married and have a husband :)

me, a known gay: a what

[thisiswhymomworries]

my parents: don’t worry sweetie you’ll understand when you start a family and have your first baby :)

me, an asexual: A WHAT

[exomoon]

my parents: our little girl is growing into a woman! me, a nonbinary: a what

[you-looked-at-mysecrets-deactiv]

my parents: our boy is growing into a strong man me, a nonbinary: a what

[exoskyll]

my parents: can you tell us the SI unit of power, equivalent to one joule per second, corresponding to the power in an electric circuit in which the potential difference is one volt and the current one ampere? me: a watt

[katisreallytired-deactivated201]

reglobbing 4 last comment

[profashionall]

[gucci-face-deactivated20240503]

ɷ

even if girls did have pillow fights @ sleep overs why do ppl assume they would be cute/sexy … If we’re pillow fighting it’s going to be a straight up brawl there will b no boundaries. I will try to pillow punt you into the next dimension. I didn’t come here to make friends I came here to win

[druidquest]

[twistystickschel]

Cutthroat Kitchen

Alton Brown: I want a grilled cheese

that one contestant: I grew up on grilled cheese, I eat it every day for breakfast, once I fucked a grilled cheese

contestants: *go shopping*

that one contestant: I look down at the basket, and I realize I forgot the bread and cheese

[twistystickschel]

petunia: you're a freak, lily!! a freak!!!

james: need me a freak like dat 👅👅💦💦👌

[fullmetal-titan]

[twistystickschel]

Me: I love strategy/tactical RPGs!

Me, playing such a video game: My strategy is to be physically stronger than my enemy. My tactic is to hit them really really hard.

[c3rvida3]

Bad News: Our boss locked the keys inside the building.

Good News: We didn’t have to wait around for a locksmith.

Bad News: My boss finds it very concerning that I know how to pick locks, and tried to unlock my Tragic Backstory™. I was too embarrassed to admit that the reason I learned was because, at thirteen, I figured that was the kind of skill that would impress cute girls.

Good News: A cute girl saw me do it.

Bad News: It was Maggie, and since she’s already seen me fall out of several trees, cry because I saw a fawn that was just too damn small, and knows I can ride a unicycle, she’ll never think I’m cool no matter what I do. It’s too late. She knows.

[theofficialvincenzo]

I don’t know what I was thinking don’t unfollow me

[memeguy-com]

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

[sharkpilot]

Every time I see this post I think it’s a fire extinguisher and I get really confused

[yamisnuffles]

Anytime I see someone with their phone out now when I go for a walk.

[rashadsays]

[veganinwonderland-deactivated20]

Oh my GOD

[ammarmali]

Yo it’s your boy! You already know who it is!

Every rapper that is not your boy and who you do not know at all (via immiqrant)

[moved-to-masterball-deactivated]

Fishing in Animal Crossing: 

Goodness me, I keep reeling in too early! I need to work on my patience, haha.

Bug catching in Animal Crossing: 

Alright, this is a little harder… the bugs will react to every little movement I make, so I really gotta keep a level head if I want to catch anything.  This is a real test of patience.

Fishing in Stardew Valley: 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH