God Can’t Reach Me Here Twisted Wonderland

|| A HC blog ||

[iamyoursimper]

Idia : If a stranger came up to you and said "I'm your dad's friend, He told me to pick you up" what would you say?

Idia's kid : I'd say "You're lying my dad doesn't have any friends!"

Idia : Not where i was going, but ok.

[twsty-mad]

❛ you can’t kill me, i’m not alive. ❜

but cater

that depressed mf

alt idea is deuce

“If you don’t get up you know Riddle is going to have your head.”

Cater doesn’t groan. Or whine. Or move. He just sits there. Still. Staring at the ceiling.

His face is a mask, showing no emotion but emptiness. Or maybe, the mask is off and this is what’s underneath it. Cater doesn’t know, and he can’t find the energy to try to find out.

“You know you can’t miss another test. Trein going to kill you if you do.

Cater’s expression doesn’t change, but he feels the weight on his chest get heavier. He knows. He knows that he’s being stupid. He hears it enough from his father and sisters. He knows he’s throwing his life away. But…actually. No.

Cater tilts his head towards Trey. “He can’t kill me. You can’t kill me. No one can kill me. I’m not alive.”

Trey looks at him. Cater thinks he looks slightly ill. Maybe he should be the one still in bed. Ha.

“Cater…Cater have you thought at all about talking to someone. I know you said that you didn’t need to but I think this is clearly showing—“

NO. No. He doesn’t need a shrink rattling around in his empty brain. No Cater was fine. He was fine. He was great, actually. Amazing.

Cater springs up out of bed, a winning smile on his face. The startled look Trey makes is priceless so he grabs his phone instinctively and snaps a shot, immediately posting it.

“Lol just kidding! #Surprise #JustAPrankBro #CayCayIsCrayCray. Wow I can’t believe you fell for it lolololol. Anyway, better get going or I’ll be late for class. Bye byeee.”

Cater snatches his bag by the door and walks quickly (he’s not running he’s just stretching his legs) out of the room, ignoring Trey’s single shout of his name. It’s fine. Trey won’t say anything as long as it stays in their room.

As Cater walks out of the dorms, he looks up at the sky. It’s a beautiful day. The suns rays are bright and blinding.

Cater can’t feel any of the warmth on his skin.

[dianymphii]

Vaseline Deuce

ok so like

deuce. my sweet-summer-child-doing my best deuce, god bless his heart, works so hard. tries so hard. remembered vil's skincare sonata during VDC and afterwards he's like, yes, my one takeaway from all this is

i gotta moisturize.



this boy fuckin does his best, goes to the magical walgreens and picks up a nice tub of vaso



···

it says dermawhatogist recommended, surely vil would approve. dry and itchy skin??? hes got it. healing?? bless these puberty acne scars away PLEASE



so he like



yenno



dips his hand in. its thick but thats fine, he'll just use a bit. a touch. a tad. slathers it on his face and goes to sleep. wakes up he is DEWY and loving it. riddle comments how he looks more fresh faced this morning than usual. this is a WIN

the next night he repeats the process

and he thinks to himself....

maybe More is More.

wakes up and is SLICK, he is SLUGGING his pillow is WET



but he wipes it off and carries on and this method is still working, he is glowing and growing and live laugh loving it.



but then exams come around

and we know deuce studies. he studies so hard. he studies SO HARD he falls asleep the moment his head hits the pillow after his little night routine. it feels like the moment he closed his eyes the alarm is going off, sunlight shimmering through the curtains, flamingos flamingoing on the lawn

then his snooze

and hits it again

again again again

and when he finally rouses himself the exam is NOW it is STARTING he needs to YEET.



he writes his exam and its Probably Passable and he is ready to kick back. some people look at him in concern and he wonders if he made too much of a scene barging in late, and you Know crewel made a bitchy comment about it (i love this man)

but whatever. he's done he can breathe and he is ready to exploit trey for every pastry in his kitchen when he runs into riddle

who stares at him

just

···

and deuce just looks back like

···



boy did Not remember to wash off the vaseline

[twsty-mad]

VASELINE DEUCE IS SO IMPORTANT

[twsty-mad]

❛ you’re a weapon, and weapons don’t weep. ❜

Do sebek LKJDHSA

Sebek sobs into the counter. He failed. He is a failure and he would never be enough for wakasama.

Lilia walks into the room, attracted by the sounds of despair. He stares at the sight and sighs. a green head face down in a white liquid on the table, a cereal in a bowl next to him left dry. The boy was literally crying over spilled milk.

The short fae puts his hands on his hips. “Sebek.”

The boy jolts up at attention, almost seeming startled from his pity party until he fully registers Lilia’s presence. He then starts wailing again. “LILIA-SAMA. DON’T LOOK AT ME! I’M A DISGRACE AND WILL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH TO SERVE AND PROTECT OUR GREAT PRINCE.”

Internally, Lilia agrees, but he decides it would be better not to say so. He holds back another sigh at the screaming boy and speaks. “You are a weapon. Weapons don’t weep. Especially over something so foolish. Just clean it up, you can even think of it as part of your training for when things go unexpectedly.”

Like a switch, Sebek stops crying. His eyes go wide and he climbs down from the stool and races over to the counter to grab paper towels and then sprints back. Before reaching the table he stops in front of Lilia and bows and shouts, “THANK YOU FOR AGREEING TO TRAIN ME, SIR! I WILL NEVER FORGET THE OPPORTUNITY YOU HAVE GIVEN ME TODAY!” He then begins aggressively cleaning up his mess.

Lilia blinks a few times before shrugging and walking out of the room. He didn’t have to clean up the kids mess so that’s a win for him. Though, honestly, why the six-year-old was up at 3 A.M. trying to make himself cereal was beyond him. Perhaps he got it from his father’s side…

[nightprompts]

&. 𝐡𝐢𝐭 ‘𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬.

(  more  angsty  dialogue  prompts  to  devastate  your  writing  partners.  metaphorically.  feel  free  to  change  how  you  seem  fit.  )

❛ you’re a weapon, and weapons don’t weep. ❜

❛ you can’t save everyone. ❜

❛ it should have been you. ❜

❛ did i do good? ❜

❛ i’m sorry that i can’t save you. ❜

❛ wait for me, will you? ❜

❛ i can’t lose you again! ❜

❛ you were dead, i saw you die. ❜

❛ we won’t forget each other, right? ❜

❛ i’m real. i’m here. ❜

❛ you already know how this will end. ❜

❛ it’s always my fault, isn’t it? ❜

❛ i don’t want to go. ❜

❛ can you remember how you died? ❜

❛ i love you, but you’re not mine. ❜

❛ have you ever lost someone? ❜

❛ i didn’t ask to get made. ❜

❛ you’re as beautiful as the day i lost you. ❜

❛ i never meant to hurt you. ❜

❛ is it really you? ❜

❛ their blood is on your hands. ❜

❛ it would have been better to die. ❜

❛ i’m not ready to lose you yet. ❜

❛ i wish i met you sooner. ❜

❛ let’s just stay here. grow old. ❜

❛ you’re the first friend i ever had. ❜

❛ i told you not to fall in love with me. ❜

❛ you always push people away. i just thought you’d never do it to me. ❜

❛ everyone i’ve cared about has either died or left me. except for you. ❜

❛ i know i have a heart because i can feel it breaking. ❜

❛ they’re not coming back. ❜

❛ i’m sorry, have we met? ❜

❛ in my dreams, we’re still together. ❜

❛ you’re the one good thing left in this world. ❜

❛ i hate the way that i don’t hate you. ❜

❛ it’s okay. you can let go. ❜

❛ you mean nothing to me. ❜

❛ we’re on our own now. ❜

❛ you can’t kill me, i’m not alive. ❜

❛ it wasn’t supposed to end like this. ❜

❛ do you remember when we first met? ❜

❛ we’ll see each other again. ❜

❛ there’s nothing you could have done. ❜

❛ we did it. we won. ❜

❛ let’s not go back. not ever. ❜

❛ thanks for playing with me. ❜

❛ why does it feel like this is goodbye? ❜

[twsty-mad]

Send me a prompt and twst characters and I’ll see what I can do : )

[twisted-wonderland-but-gayer]

I bet my left arm that Jade would laugh at a video of a piece of bread falling over for 3 days straight and puts anything in his mouth because of his intrusive thoughts

*cracks knuckles*

It starts off simple. You send Jade a very peculiar meme. He, of course, is a bit... amused for lack of better term of what he just watched. Is this a human custom? Please explain. He never gets a proper explanation...

He shrugs it off until he receives another video sent to him the next day. He can't help but chuckle internally at it. Oh so is this some sort of inside joke? A series perhaps? No matter, he doubts you could much with bread anyways...

Then another video. He lets a pleased hum. Ah. That was clever. A new take. He would have never guessed. But surely that's the end? Wrong. Later that day he receives an even more hilarious video. How does one get this from bread? Human culture is fascinating...

Then the next day, yet another video. Thus one simple, yet amusing. The sounds definitely add to it. A good comedic short which he will happily laugh internally at.

He starts to love this game. Sending extremely weird and niche bread memes. Bread stapled to trees. Puns. Strange costumes. An entire game centered around being bread. This strange reference within a falling bread video that he doesn't understand.

At some point your sitting with him at lunch as you show him another video. Azul and Floyd side eye you both, especially at Jades creepy smile as if he's enjoying this. He even let out a half chuckle at the video!

The video ends, and things go back to normal as you continue your lunch. The cafeteria offered some bonus slices of toast today. As you ate away at your main course you absent-mindedly balances your toast standing up.

You didn't even really that you or Jade was watching intently.

*plop*

Jades face twitched for a moment. He covered his mouth as he started to silent laugh, practically wheezing at the sight. You join right in as Azul and Floyd look at you weirdly. They don't appreciate top tier comedy.

He definitely uses magic to stand it back up, resulting in another wave of laughter.

[hoboyherewego]

And then he turns himself into a bread slice, funniest shit I’ve ever seen

[twsty-mad]

HEARTSLABYUL: What they are like drinking/doing drugs at a party?

(In collaboration with @dianymphii)

Riddle: Sad drunk. Very little tolerance. Cries about all the rules he’s breaking to Trey in the bathroom

Trey: He gets pleasantly drunk, and then Jade offers him some mushrooms and he chills on the couch having a pleasant trip then sleeps.

Deuce: Doesn’t really like being drunk. He used to think he did, but what he really liked was the edge factor of breaking the rules. Now that that’s gone…it’s meh.

Cater: Oh baby he does it all. Yes he will have what you are offering, even though he knows he’ll regret it in the morning. But #Yolo you know? The pictures from the party is going to do ROUNDS and he’s not gonna miss out. Haha anything to keep the pain at bay, to keep the attention on him.

Sure it hurts when Jade does that impression of him. But, it was funny how pathetic he is, so he laughs along with everyone. He doesn’t remember much else of the party. It’s all a blur.

Cater wakes up in an unfamiliar place, even with his head pounding and feeling like shit he can tell this isn’t his bed before opening his eyes. He doesn’t remember crashing or who he might have gone back with. Both of these things are unsurprising. It is a bit unusual that he doesn’t feel the warmth of anyone next to him.

He slowly sits up, eyes still closed. Maybe he actually managed not to sleep with anyone last night?

When he finally opens his eyes against the pounding headache, he looks out the window and sees fish swim by. Octavinelle.

He looks to the other side of the room and his heart almost leaps out of his chest; a smile. He might have let out a screech given the increased pounding of his headache and the way that smile becomes more amused.

“Good morning, Cater.”

Cater stares blurrily at Jade, who is sitting up in the opposite bed, and says nothing. He turns away grabbing his head, the images of last night’s imitation flashing through his mind.

Cater quickly pulls down the covers and goes to get out of the bed, thankful at least that he doesn’t need to find any of his clothes though he feels sticky…did he sleep with Jade??? He throws his feet over the side of the bed and as he’s about to stand up, his feet hit something squishier than he was expecting. The eel across the room coughs, and when Cater looks up Jade has his mouth hidden behind behind a hand; he was laughing at him.

Cater looks down and forces a chuckle out himself, even if he really wanted to cry. On the ground, Floyd laid, pants down just enough to reveal evidence of their encounter last night.

He scrambles onto unoccupied ground, willing to risk Riddle catching him without his shoes just to get out of the situation. He walks only as slowly as to keep the façade of not running away, hand reaching out to the doorknob when there is a throat clear. Cater closes his hand around the doorknob, but turns.

Jade smiles at him again, nodding to the left of the door where his shoes were placed neatly. Cater knows neither himself nor Floyd did that. Cater wonders if he had made himself semi-presentable. If it was himself who pulled the blankets around him…or…

Cater snatches his shoes, hastily putting them on. He could hate himself about this whole thing later, in his room, where no one can see him do it.

He’s halfway out the door when, “Cater?”

He reluctantly turns around, Jade appears to be smiling even wider than before.

“I hope you enjoyed your stay. Come again.”

Cater can’t help the laugh that escapes him before he closes the door behind him.

And if that laugh sounded more like a sob, well, it’s not like Jade could see him any more pathetic than he already does.

Ace: Annoying asshole (more than normal) drunk.

[twsty-mad]

Who’s Gay and/or Homophobic: Twisted Wonderland

(Collab with @dianymphii)

Heartslabyul

Riddle: Gay and Homophobic (He is like “I won’t judge you but it’s wrong :/” )

Ace: Gay and Homophobic

Deuce: Straight and an Ally

Cater: Bi and not Homophobic

Trey: Straight and not homophobic, but not particularly an ally either (says “okay?” When Ace comes out and Ace returns to the closet)

Savanaclaw

Leona: Aromatic Pan and doesn’t care (let him sleep please)

Jack: Pan/Ace and not Homophobic

Ruggie: VERY PAN and not Homophobic

Octavinelle

Azul: Gay and Homophobic (quietly self-hate coded)

Jade: Ace and not Homophobic

Floyd: Pansexual and not Homophobic (unless it’s funny)

Scarabia

Kalim: Pan and Not Homophobic

Jamil: Gay and Homophobic (hates Kalim Coded)

Ignihyde

Idia: Straight and Homophobic

Ortho: Ortho and an Ally

Diasomnia

Malleus: Ace and not Homophobic

Silver: Straight and not homophobic, (like trey he doesn’t care but is more supportive)

Sebek: Gay and Homophobic. (Makes fun of Silver’s supportive pride pin)

Lilia: Pansexual (“or whatever the kids call it these days”). Doesn’t really label himself just lives. Not homophobic.

Pomefiore

Vil: Demi and not homophobic

Epel: Gay for Jack and Homophobic (says slurs for sure)

Rook: Not Straight and makes me homophobic

[dianymphii]

vaseline deuce